Heather McMahan: Dog Shows, Neck Lifts & Airport Fits

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy so i i had to go to this fucking brunch before this that's why i'm dressed like i'm running for congress okay i went to this brunch which is cool like women in television and film first of all this is the most la shit there was no food it it wasn't a brunch they passed around two plates of oysters you know what you're not eating at 11 a.m an oyster at a pass order you can't eat an oyster like so tell me like what tv shows are you selling you can't do that also for an oyster on a plate you're like how long has it been sitting there it's warm and it's all women too so seeing a bunch of women just like slurring down oysters so i had to like emergency stop at air one i'm sweating my ass off i have a fresh spray tan i'm disgusting so i just want you to know i am i know i look like a con i'm running for congress you oh you and i might i might get into politics no i'm not gonna lie when you came in here i was like oh maybe she's really she's really taking herself seriously right now this this leg of you doing your press you are showing up and you're showing out heather mcmahon welcome to call her daddy honey how are you actually welcome back welcome back how are you i am just so happy to see you like i was like needing a little heather in my life and i knew you would just come in and just give me everything i needed to give you everything i needed to give you everything i needed i also again i was shocked to see you in this because i was like what is she up to like what have i been missing you kind of give me your give me why you're gonna run for congress let's go well first of all my uh slogan is mcmahon can and she will and all you need to know is i am here to change the world because no one's gonna do it for us gal so i'll roll up my sleeves on my oversized zara blazer let's do this no but also i think can i be can i be honest you i've had people that are kind of high up and i you know yeah like illuminati adjacent you know i'm kidding um but they've been like so when are you gonna run for something in the state of georgia and i'm like oh yeah okay cool and they're like no no for real when are you gonna run and i'm just i told him i was like i don't really want to have to cage fight marjorie taylor green but i think that might be what i have to do next is there the way that this could even take your career to that next level yeah because we're seeing it like we've got a president he's been on reality tv i don't know if i want that i don't know if i'm in line with those values but yes i do i think i would be able to summon all of the women at my country club and be like get your shit together vote how you want to vote bitch i have a great spray tan i have on an oversized suit jacket and my pants are tight every day of my life i also recently got a regout i don't know if you know this but i wait wait why what and can you explain what gout is no one knows okay i woke up in the middle of the night i get up to pee i i stumble to the floor i'm like i'm gonna go to the bathroom i'm gonna go to the cannot walk oh and i think oh my god like did i hurt myself was i sleepwalking what happened i go to the orthopedist i get an mri i'm like what happened i think i've hurt myself the guy's like it could be gout and i'm like okay yeah all right and gout is traditionally like the king's disease you get kings would get it back in the day from eating like rich liver and heavy foods and drinking wine all the time and i was like how fucking dare you i'm on a glp1 give you go fuck yourself there's no way i have fucking gout and i was like chewing out the orthopedist and then i literally am out to the next day and i'm having a glass of wine and one of the nurse practitioners comes up to me she goes hey girl i'm pretty sure we're she's like i waited on you yesterday we're 99% sure you have gout she's like you shouldn't be drinking red wine and what are you eating i was like pate does it make your foot look weird no it you basically feel like it's gonna fall off it can hit your joints it's me what i from what i understand medically you get an a surplus of uric acid now this is the irony of all of it and i i don't know if i'm right on this but the one week i had a gout flare-up for the first time which i've never had this in my life oh i was meal prep i was eating ground turkey steamed rice and broccoli like a motherfucker and and somebody dm me and they're like heather if you have too much ground turkey that can build up your uric acid so i want you to know you are damned if you do damned if you don't you're this motherfucker is trying to eat healthy trying to meal prep and then you get gout i had been in italy the weeks prior just going hard in the paint on some nitrate meat and cheese but either way but that doesn't fit the storyline that i'm trying to sell so isn't it so nice and dramatic dude this is so me though no no if it isn't an eczema flare-up it's a gout flare-up my god now can i ask you uh-huh so third special third special coming out hulu hulu by a thread uh-huh and is this meaning like hanging on by a thread without a doubt emotionally i'm hanging on by a thread my clothes have maxed out on thread count you know what i mean like i don't put anything in the dryer it's done like there is nowhere we can't expand anymore um just every we're we're all seriously i mean i hate to take some of your catchphrases but we're all unwell we're all hanging on by a thread because as women we are either doing too much not enough we can't figure out what the right equation is for how we're supposed to move in the atmosphere out in the world and we're damned if we do damned if we don't so we're all hanging on by a thread and during this time you're traveling a lot right all the time because you went you obviously were you know you're doing a special then you're going on tour then you're like how's travel ben do we have our travel outfits what are we like on the airplane like i want to hear like who is heather mcmahon getting onto an airplane if i was sitting next to you what are you up to what do i look like on a plane i try and hold my shit together because my family was in aviation like my grandfather's chief pilot for delta for a long time so i try and at least have on like a blazer right i will have on a rag and bone pajama jean and a tank top and no bra like i'm struggling wait you wear i sometimes wear an oversized blazer i'm very into oversized blazers and if you have a blazer you're going to have a blazer you're going to have a blazer you're going to have as large as shoulders as i do they're not very flattering this is the last thing i thought you were going to say you're rolling heather mcmahon's rolling onto a plane in a blazer i do need to tell you something i have the highest status at delta that one human could possibly ever achieve and it is my greatest joy in my life to say that and i love nothing more than to walk onto a uh an airplane with my bottega bag and my 360 and million miler and diamond medallion tags just like clinking like just and they say thank you thank you miss mcmahon for all of your points yeah do you know how many times i've had certain flight attendants come over and they're like we don't have we don't have many females and in like at your level um on our flight today and your dick and i'm like oh yeah i love it no i do growing up you couldn't look like a slob kebab on a flight you did have to pull it together now i'm sure there are plenty of people who see me out in the wild that are gonna say wow she looked like but i'll always have a blazer or like a some sort of jacket that i can put on to it because again if i'm running for congress you never know when you have to step in and change policy and in case the pilot comes out and wants to say hi to you personally needs me to co-pilot with them i'm ready to jump in at a moment so does i always have a captain's hat in my bag as well are you drinking on planes or no no no first of all anybody you don't drink on an airplane now if i'm going international i may i may limit myself to a champagne okay glass of red wine but there is no worse hangover than a high altitude hangover you don't do it i have a ginger ale i have a coke zero and i chug a bunch of fucking electrolytes i put on my delta 360 compression socks i don't even know if i'm supposed to say i'm in this exclusive club but i put on my compression socks like a grandma and i make because i got gout you know what i mean i can't i can't also get a blood clot come on alex oh my god i don't know why this is nice to hear something i really didn't expect this of you when you have as many flare-ups as i do you just always have like a bag like i've always got a moxicillin a z-pack a steroid pack i've got stuff if you get a uti if you have a yeast in your body you can get a moxicillin and you can get a moxicillin and you can get a moxicillin and you can get a moxicillin if you lose a limb if you need to grow a limb i have some sort of tincture in my bag for you nurse heather nurse heather yeah now let's talk about your dogs for a second oh i love this because i'm thinking about it you're traveling a lot you got to leave your dogs macaroni and rigatoni yes those are their names they sure are boy or girl uh so it's macaroni uh limone ferrari daniels and then it's rigatoni cannoli gandalfini daniels so rigs is a boy max girl now what are we doing if we have a third are we going tortellini are we going yeah we probably go tortellini also like ravioli i think that's fun rav's cute i love a risotto i think risotto's fun oh yeah really really so can you do because i will never do it but could you grace me with like what's your dog voice my dog voice are you are you becoming a baby my dog was like get over here i have french bulldog riggy no literally rigs mac quit attacking the gardener get in here right now no i mean i am i am they're the loves of my life and because i'm not with child yet also i have a bone to pick with you i'm going to tell you in just a second um but i am i am the overbearing dog mom and that's how i know like i'd be a great regular mom because jeff says i'm a sociopath and i also like i'm smelling the skin i'm cleaning the ears i love them i bite them i love here it comes yeah here's your dog voice i want to just take you i sometimes tell rigatoni i'm like i want to unzip your little belly i want to crawl in and i want to hug your heart and jeff's like whoa hannibal we may love also your lips kind of yeah i lose my upper lip and i'm like i love you so much okay hold on can we talk about something yes real quick speaking of motherhood yeah i love that you've been filling these baby registries these baby lists are fantastic girl i it has been honestly the joy of my life seeing these women it's really been incredible i just want you to know that now i have women dming me a woman who's actively openly talked about infertility and how many times she's fucked up ivf asking me to fill their baby list and so of course i'm like i'm how i was filling out teacher lists like i'm happy to give back and then i see a couple of these women and i click on this one girl i'm like this bitch goes to my country club She put a $3,000 snoo bassinet on there. I said, you don't need my money, Carol. I'm not fucking filling your list, bitch. That is so your life. And you're like, babe, you drive a full Range Rover. I said, I literally saw you at Mahjong four hours ago. You are the richest person at this club. I'm not filling your baby list. Call your husband. It's not my job. OK, let's talk about also getting shitted on. Yeah. OK, hard to that. Well, I guess not technically, but I do want to kind of talk about this experience because from what I understand, it didn't go as planned. Which one? Which part of experience in my life didn't go as planned? So you recently hosted the American Kennel Club Best In Show Dog Show. And I want to first understand. I obviously know you have your two dogs, but like what qualified you for this? Nothing. I want you to know. So I wasn't hosting the actual like the live prize. I was basically hired to go and do all the behind the scenes interviews and host and get to know all the breeders and everybody like all the vets and all the groomers and all this. You're a host. I'm a host. I'm running around. I'm being the people's princess. I think I wore this exact blazer and I'm walking around the Orlando Convention Center and I'm fresh off of anesthesia because I got my neck done. Slow down. Mm hmm. How did this opportunity then come to you? Like, did you get an email? Did you like somebody called my manager? The company called my manager and they said, we know that Heather is, you know, a big fan of dogs. You know, she likes to put on the dog, which is a saying that we say in the South when you get like fully dressed, like like right now I put on the dog. When you're full hair and makeup, you're putting on the dog. Oh, that's a saying. That's a saying. You're putting on the dog. And so they reached out to my manager and my manager called me and I was like, I was just recuperating from a neck job. So I am I'm maybe a week out of a neck, a neck lift. And I call my manager, call me, said, hey, this is a great opportunity. It's OK. But, you know, I'm not going to do this right now because I'm taking a break. You know, I'm on maternity leave, if you will. What's a neck job? I got a little I got a little nip and tuck under here. OK. And then they like cut in like they cut behind your ears and then they like just pull this up a little bit. So nothing has been done to my face. I just want to make that very clear. I have never had lip filler. I've only gotten a little Botox. Like I've already got a full face. So it's like a it's so it's like a neck lift. Sort of. And then they like do a little liposuction. Oh, I just at one point, like I would look at myself on camera and there was no like definition between under here and then my shoulder blades. It was I was starting to look like Big Ed from 90 Day Fiance. And I just at that point was like, I'm too pretty of a face to then not also have a neck. So first of all, you're gorgeous. Second of all, did you go under like I went under dead asleep, dead asleep. So you are. You're then going through recovery and you decide to take on this gig. Now, did you tell your doctor that you were going to do this? No, no, because again, I don't know if you know this, but because I'm wearing a white silk jacket, I do have one of my friends who's a doctor says I have white coat, a short white coat syndrome, which means I'm basically am a medical professional. So not only am I running for Congress, I'm also hosting dog shows and I am a medical professional doctor. I'm a doctor. I was fine. But I basically I have open wounds. I have drains. I think they've just taken. Not my drains, but it's like, I mean, it's gnarly. Like I have dried blood down the back of my neck and I go to host this dog show. I put myself in a cashmere turtleneck because there's one thing you need to know about me, Alex. OK, the show must go on. I am old showbiz. I enjoy a challenge and I was supposed to take off a full month like I'm not on the road. I batched my podcast. I'm like, I'm not doing any of this. And then I heard that, you know, the check was really good. So I said, get a flight to Orlando. We got we got work to do all the drains. Yeah. And if you've never been to a dog show, it is. It's the wildest experience. And that's what I love, especially in comedy. I love studying people. I love characters. I love creatures. And if you've never been on your hands and knees at the Orlando Convention Center tongue to tongue with the Pomeranian, then you have not lived your life to the fullest. I can't even fathom what a dog show is like. Everybody kind of starts to look like their dog. And I have the exact same body as a French bulldog, too. Like the more I look at Rigatoni, I'm like, oh, I get it. You came out of me. I mean, he has no neck. He has the broadest, little thickest middle. And then he has the tiniest, skinniest legs and ankles and the cutest. Little tight tush. Like, I am built like a Frenchie. Stop. So you roll up here. And mind you, I am so chill. I am doing great interviews. Are you on drugs? Yes, because I'm off the cuff. I'm literally, you know, I took like a muscle relaxer. And again, I literally have dried blood underneath my neck. And I'm asking my makeup artist, I'm like, shade the neck. Like, I am so swollen. And you're in Orlando in a turtleneck. In a turtleneck. It was December. And I had the time of my life. Oh, so you just thrived. Yeah. And even though, like, do you remember any of it? I do. I remember it. But it was. It was. It was a great time. And I was riding a high. I'm like, here I am. I am woman. Hear me roar. You can't put me down. Like, a muscle relaxer can't hold me back. No, it was wild. But I like to work. I love to work. Okay, you love to work. So this went well. Uh-huh. Even though you had the drains and the blood and the turtleneck and the muscle relaxers. She did her job. She did it great. Love it. Yeah. Now we got to talk about the Ryder Cup. Oh, my God. Hard pivot. I don't even know where to begin because, okay, let's start this. Slow. This is where the dramatic music needs to cut in. Yeah, like, slowly, like, we're going to build, okay? You thought gout was serious? Here we go. This is an international crisis that this woman sitting across from me completely stirred up. Now let's get into it. Yeah. Before we get into the drama, let's set the scene a little bit. Okay. You get offered to, you know, work the Ryder Cup. And in what capacity? Another, like, hosting gig. Yes. The night before the big event happened, I was the emcee and hosted for this, for all of, like. Oh, God. What was it? It was just, like, a night for all the sponsors. Perfect. Nail it. Crush it. Great. Of course. I'm having the time of my life. Now. Yeah. How did Jeff feel about you getting to do this? Like, is he a big golf guy? We are the biggest golf fans. And so I want people to understand, I am the biggest golf fan. I went to the last Ryder Cup in Italy. We are friends with a lot of professional golfers. We follow golf to the T. That's our sport. So this is, like, in your pocket. You couldn't be more excited. I couldn't be more excited. I was honored that they asked me because I thought, wow, like, it's all kind of coming together. It's very, this is kismet. I'm getting to be around all my golf buddies. I'm getting to give Jeff, you know, as I call it in sports, like, behind the ropes, like, inside the ropes. He's going to have this moment. And it's really cool because it's a very patriotic event. It's Europe versus America. And the last Ryder Cup was in Italy. And Jeff and I are, like, you know, spoon feeding each other Parmesan cheese and ham while we're watching our favorite buddies, like, play golf. It was amazing. It was an incredible event. So now you're working it. Now I'm working it. And then finally, your husband's like, this is so cool that, like, this is the cool things that, like, my wife gets to do that I actually get to reap the benefits and I actually care about this one. So you're there. You're in it. Now, it seems like somehow from the excitement and then there was a hard pivot to this almost, like, catastrophic falling out that happened with the golf community, whom I know you love and you want desperately to be a part of. What happened, Heather? You know. I'll get to my life lessons that I learned from this in a second. But I really realized very quickly I didn't know what I was hired for. Okay. And I get out there. And so I'm supposed to host this thing called the First Tee. The First Tee is the first tee box at a sporting event, specifically, obviously, a golfing event, where you have the big grandstand, the crowds, and then all the guys come out from both teams and they tee off and it's like the first tee box. It's kickoff, baby. Okay. And I get out there. I also didn't realize at my call time I saw 445. I was like, oh, it's in the afternoon. This will be a fun afternoon gig. It's 445 in the morning. So we're watching the sunrise over Bethpage Black, which is the golf course we were at out in Long Island. And I am dressed head to toe and like Ralph Lauren. I'm in a pair of men's ten and a half loafers. Like, we are slipping and sliding on the mossy green. We are doing the most. And I have a microphone and I don't fully know what I'm supposed to do. There's a DJ. Now, I knew I wasn't on television, which before I accepted the job, I was like, oh, that's a bummer. I thought I was going to. I get to do some funny commentary and like interview some celebs that were coming because it's a huge, huge, really insane, amazing event. So I thought that I would be using my red carpet interview experience to talk to people, talk to the players, maybe interview the coaches. I get out there and immediately realize I'm a glorified court jester. I am a clown. My, you know, I've got 17 layers of Ralph Lauren sweaters on. Dudes are like, let me see them boobs. I'm like, I would show you my boobs, but it would take 45 minutes for me to get off these layers of Ralph Lauren. And I can handle it. Like, listen. I do comedy. I can handle crowds and unruly people and drunk people. But my husband had warned me and he had warned me not to take this job. And I should have not taken it. He said, Heather, this is such a cool event, but I don't think that you know what you're going into. My husband, who is from New York, was like, New York sports fans are feral. They're and Long Island fans are even more feral. So I get out there and I didn't realize that everybody had been drinking. I mean, these guys are drinking from the night before, you know, and they're in costume. Like, it's a very exciting event. But it turned very quickly. And also, like, again, to maybe the girlies that aren't familiar, but we know like golf is a very prestigious sport and it is supposed to be quiet and you're you're very respectful. But not the Ryder Cup. Not the Ryder Cup is like we're playing your it's rowdy and it's fun. Yes. But of course, Long Island took it to a whole nother level. So that gives context like this is not a normal golf. No, we're not at the Masters. And I go to the Masters every year because I follow my friends who play golf. And again, I mind my P's and Q's. I'm a lady who knows how to work. or a ballroom in a country club. how to act okay but so and this is the thing that people don't realize so one of the coaches comes out and he gets on the mic and he's like let's fucking go and one of my producers says start that chant you could go for it so i'm like are you sure and curse he's like yeah go for it and so i'm like let's fucking go let's fucking go you know boys sports let's say so i'm saying this i give the green light that i can curse and then i get out there and i start a chant with like one of the other golfers names i've got this professional cheer male cheerleaders are out there with me everybody's like boo shut the fuck up you know I'm shoving t-shirts in a t-shirt canning launching them out into the audience I'm like no no I am actually a mascot right now I wish they would have put a bag over my head and made me dress up like Lady Liberty that would have been easier than what I had to do they're like I have to give you so much credit because as a woman being one of the very few women in that situation like you're you're that's intimidating as fuck so you're just trying to like get through where it takes a pivot and I get in trouble is you know I'm starting chants I'm looking at my producer I'm like what do you want me to do like I am I basically should have had a laser pointer like cat like a like I was trying to herd cats that's what is what I was doing and it was kind of mortifying at one point because I'm like I'm not being funny I'm not able to really do crowd work I mean you know what it's like to do crowd work at five o'clock in the morning with dudes who are like just took Jaeger bombs you're like this isn't working so then a bunch of the guys in the crowd started a chant about one of the European players and they just went fuck you Rory about Rory McIlroy I hear this and I'm like this is I'm like I'm laughing at myself at this point and so I say it back in the microphone and immediately was fired and here's the wild thing you were fired on the spot on the spot so one of the representatives from Team Europe comes over and he starts screaming at me and he's in your ear no no he's yelling at me in person I don't think I've ever been yelled at like this in my life he's like I don't care anything about the European players and I said dude I totally get it I'm doing the best I can heard understood now I know my parameters like I took it in that moment and I was like I got it I said I'm a loose cannon out here nobody knows what's going on so then like 10 minutes later I somebody taps me on the shoulder and they're like we need your credentials Team Europe wants you gone and I was like are you kidding me Alex I've never been fired from a job I am a I am a literally like I'm student council do you know what I mean I am you are running for state over here like you are you are going political hold on yeah I didn't realize you got fired on the spot yes and they said and that was the thing I I got brought back into a room and I said listen guys I am mortified right now I'm doing the best I can but you nobody told me what my parameter like I was doing I up and I immediately apologized I said I'm so sorry I read the room wrong I apologize I I really apologize like you're good you're good you're good but here was the wild thing I want to just say I don't condone any of the behavior Rory had it really tough later on in the afternoon I don't want to speak to his experience but these guys have been drinking since the ass crack of dawn the sun was coming up they were party these guys by the time he goes out for his afternoon match which he played with one of our friends like these people are yelling they're throwing beers they're being assholes assholes assholes assholes assholes assholes assholes so what really me up was I immediately apologized and said hey I don't think you got the right guy for this gig because I don't even know what my job title is here and then when people started to blame me and I by no means a victim when people started to blame me for the behavior of men 10 hours later who had been drinking I don't know if you know this but I show up to work sober okay I was had a you know two iced coffees and a granola bar and had greased up and was ready to go and do my job in a loafer and a loafer so that was tough and then I'm seeing this and then you know I'm having some existential crisis like did it you know am am am I the reason why these guys are acting like this and my husband was like no this Heather like no I I wrote an apology letter to Rory I hope it like got through his to his agents through Team Europe like I said I'm so sorry like I was doing the best I can yeah but I up I definitely apologize so I wake up and I think it's nothing of it and then I immediately it's like all over the headlines and it's just like the headlines like McElroy vs McMahon like we had some like deep beef I mean well just like that's what it's like that's what it's like that's when Jeff is like babe do you remember when I said maybe you shouldn't take this job yeah Jeff Jeff told me not to do it he said let's just go and be spectators and enjoy it and I and I lesson learned but I did say if there was a male comedian out there we would never have this conversation no we would never they'd be you know he would rip his shirt off and be like you're up yeah and then like and they're like they're trying to take my credential go yourself yourself and it would have gone viral and he would have been a hero but I did learn that in that moment I have been so I've been so go with the flow I am so happy to work I love working I love what I do at the end of the day let's like let's break down what I do I'm a comic okay I'm here to bring joy and levity that's what it is so we're not like we're not solving problems and I was like yeah I'm go with the flow I'm go with the flow whatever you guys need jump in I just was so excited to be there and I should have asked questions and as a woman in the business it's really hard because if you ask too many questions that she's difficult she's hard to work with you don't want to do this and I've had people tell me Heather you couldn't be a bitch if you tried and now I'm in my bitch era you know I don't I don't give a anymore I'm just like I want to know what the ask is because I will always show up with putting on the dog suited and booted prepared I am a wild professional I don't party before my shows I'm doing deep breath exercises backstage I have prepared a full one-woman show like that's what I pride myself on and it is wild to see how many people just half-ass every gig in this business and they keep getting called back so but I did learn I'm like you as a woman I said I will never find myself in a position moving forward where I'm not like what is I want to know every dotted line what what is asked of me you know what we ne we never expect to have to have like a big good um takeaway from our episodes we like to have fun but I do but I do like this for women I do like this for women to be like guys if you don't know what the you're being asked yeah it is not embarrassing to slow it down yeah and ask now amen here we go pivoting back you weren't the one that got a kidney stone recently no my husband got a kidney stone and I'll tell you right now I'll tell you right now watching Jeff get a kidney stone I've never been less attracted and been like you quit being a little you know what I mean either was like I don't give a if you've got a stone a stone the size of a you know lacrosse ball shredding your insides like woman the up Jeff no I mean I need to tell you about an experience that I have and be like oh well kidney stones are you know horrifically painful of course they are but I had an ovarian torsion I had an ovary an ovarian cyst let's get into it explode on an airplane have I ever told this story on here before I don't know we didn't know like a fact okay so I had and again and again this was me being like I'm gonna tough it out I'm good I'm good I used I get ovarian cysts quite a bit because I PCOS you know in my short white coat and um amongst other things it's gout it's PCOS it's eczema there's a lot of things happening so I was on a flight going from New York to London this was back in 2019. and I didn't feel well all day I had three auditions I was living in New York City at the time and I wasn't feeling well but I get that I was like I'll tough it out I'm like about to start my period I'll tough it out and tough it out I'd never had a torsion before so I didn't know what was coming my husband again told me Jeff is like the wise sensei he was like Heather do not get on this flight but at that time I was just starting to make money and I had a really good seat and I knew if I changed the flight I didn't have enough status I'd be like in the back by the shitter so I was like you know what I'm going with the good seat you know what I mean I'm a little bit of pain yeah yeah I got a little bit of pain and I thought to myself I called my girlfriend he gets kidney stones I said am I experiencing a kidney stone she's like yeah probably the only thing you can do for it is just drink a beer you have to have like a diuretic drink a beer take an Advil you'll be good to go I get on the plane I buckle up I popped like three Advil we take off for about an hour into the flight and all of a sudden I sit up and I'm like oh my God I am dying I am dying now I think it's my appendix I think that in this moment my appendix is completely ruptured I get up I go to one of the flight attendants and I said hi and again I'd never like to ask for anything I'm such the daughter and granddaughter of a lot of people in aviation I never want to cause an alarm I didn't even want to ask for help I said but I'm pretty sure my insides are exploding could you possibly help me and she looked at me I'm completely ghostly white she puts me on oxygen I immediately projectile vomit all over the galley I am mortified and I'm on a uh what was I Virgin Atlantic flight so everyone's proper and British they get on the loudspeaker and they're like hi we need a medic we have a medical emergency is there a doctor on board this lovely woman comes up she's a nurse and she's very British and she goes she's doing an abdominal assessment on me she's like okay I don't I do not think it's appendicitis and she's like I think you have an ectopic pregnancy I didn't even know what that was and I said ma'am I really don't think that's what's happening and that's a really scary thing you basically become like septic I don't even text my husband we're now like four hours over the Atlantic they're not turning around they're like they call down and I didn't know that they had this but they call down they find some sort of medicine that they can give me kind of like knock me out I'm laying down in my own vomit in the galley they put a blanket over me I'm like I mean I'm shivering at this point I have no idea what's happening turns out what actually happened was I had no varian cyst it exploded and it flipped my ovary at the same time it's called a torsion so most painful thing I've ever experienced we landed Heathrow okay you were I'm i'm still breathing we landed heathrow i am mortified okay they put me on a gurney no they breathe they i'm they're like ladies and gentlemen we have a medical emergency gonna have to wait for this fat cunt to be wheeled out wheeled out on the tarmac and mind you because you know i dress really nice on flights i have on a cool black jacket i've got a giant fedora no you don't bitch. I got taken off in a fedora. I look like Carmen San Diego, ready to explore London. And fun fact though, if you ever have to go to the hospital in the UK, as soon as you get on the ambulance, the guy's like, you want a little nitrous oxide? I'm like, you mean laughing gas? Yeah, you look like shit. He hands me a tube. I'm just huffing. Okay. I'm literally doing whippets on the way to the emergency room. We get there. We get there. Okay. And I'm at the hospital by Heathrow. And shout out to that healthcare system. Everybody was so wonderful. But at one point, I shit you not, I'm not saying this to do the bit. I really genuinely mean this. The woman's like, oh shit, I don't have my light. She's like, do you mind if I borrow your cell phone? No. I have my legs spread. I'm in stirrups. She's literally clawing me open and using my cell phone light. She's like, I got a text from Jeff. Oh, this is crazy. And I'm like, please don't record this. I thought we were live streaming this on Instagram. Now, mind you, I did not tell Jeff what was going on the entire time. Why? Because now you're like, I don't want to freak him out. I didn't want to freak him out. Because what was he going to do? And I'm such a ball buster. Like, I got this. I can handle this on my own. I will never do that again. I didn't text him till after I was at the hospital. And we had realized what happened. And they were going to like, you know, I was okay. That's when I text him. I go, so I just want you to know I'm in the hospital. I think I sent him a selfie. He was furious. He was like, never do that again. But also when you're, you know, I was kind of shivering in the guy. I couldn't figure out how to connect to Wi-Fi. It also wasn't really my fault. Heather, I'm picturing myself in like, whatever row I'm in, looking out the airplane window, seeing a woman on a gurney with a big fedora hat. Dressed like she's going to the Kentucky Derby. And her big blazer. And you're literally waiting. Now, here's the real kicker. I get out of the hospital. Now, once after you have a torsion or an ovarian, an ovary explode, there's kind of nothing they can do. They do a vaginal exam. They do an ultrasound to make sure that they can save your ovary because you can literally lose an ovary. It's like the blood supply gets cut off. It's very scary. Thank God everything is like twisted back. And they're like, honestly, there's nothing we can do. You're good. You're back to normal. Like, you know, when a cyst bursts, there's a lot of fluid. And I'm like, I'm going to and but they're like, we're going to give you an oxycodone and like meet you at the pub. So I leave. And then I had to go back to Heathrow to then get my luggage and go through customs. So I got my my I'm like on a painkiller. I had to then go back through customs at Heathrow. Uh huh. It was very traumatic. But shout out to everybody at the hospital near Heathrow and shout out to the guy who gave me some nitrous oxide. Love you. That was amazing. Now, what I'm what I'm gathering from this, is what the point of this story was to say, that's why you have no fucking care in the world for Jeff and his kidney stone. Yeah. And when Jeff got a kidney and I and I clocked it, I said, I know you have a kidney stone. No, you know, I just want to get checked out. That's the other thing, too, what pisses me off because I have a low key online medical degree. It really pisses me off when people don't trust my diagnosis. I feel very strongly about that. So you diagnosed him. It was Thanksgiving Day. This is four days after my surgery. So I'm still I've got drains. I shouldn't be out in public. I'm swollen. And I'm like, honey, you have a you have a kidney stone to chug a beer. I said, go get a beer, chug a beer. There's nothing they're going to be able to do. It's also Thanksgiving. And you don't want the holiday crew and typical men making about themselves. You're recovering. You're supposed to be a turkey to start basing. Let's get to it. Mama wants some macaroni and cheese. I can only choose soft foods because I just got a bunch of lipo around my neck. All right. Is it about you, Jeff? Yeah. So and he's writhing in pain and we get there. And of course, the woman and I've got dried blood everywhere. And I've literally have drains and they're thinking like, oh, the drain must have come loose or something happened. And I'm like, guys, what's good? How are we doing? Happy Thanksgiving. I literally think he said, who got the potluck? And then my husband ended up having a kidney stone. Yeah. And then I had to watch him pass a kidney stone. And again, I think and I've never given births, but obviously it's good luck. It's a it's a intense experience. Oh, but I really had to nurse him for the next couple of days. I had to nurse him for the next couple of days. And that time was supposed to be about me and my recovery. And that's what I got pissed about. Heather. OK, I'm sorry. I drink so many liquids when I know this is good. This is good. OK, so we're we're going into fall. Yeah. Halloween is coming up. Oh, yes. And I'm wondering back in college, do you have any good costume ideas? What did you do? We used to rent costumes at Ole Miss from this guy. It was kind of like a barn, like this big warehouse. And all the costumes were riddled with asbestos. But we would rent them for like two hundred dollars. I mean, this guy was running a monopoly on the costume game because when we were in college, you couldn't just order it on Amazon. There was no Amazon nighting. No, I'm sort of like garter to look like a German beer made. That was not it. I had to go drive to a farm, pay this man two hundred dollars cash and be like, what do you got in a size 12? Let me know. You got anything? OK, cool. You know, I know I always dressed up funny, but that's always been who I who I've been. Are you ever going to do a couple's costume with Jeff? Are we not into couple's costumes? I don't know that. Would you do one? I would do one. What would you do? But I would love to have him go full bald with me. And we both do Pitbull because, you know, that's my my truly who I am at the core of who I am is a woman in drag as Pitbull. Hold on. Wait, didn't you? What did you just do recently with Pitbull? You got invited to the what? So I got invited to his concert in Hyde Park and we broke the Guinness Book of World Records for the most amount of people in bald caps. Now, I just want to see it for the record. A lot of the younger galleys don't So I've been dressing as Pitbull for like over 10 years. That's been my that's been my thing. OK, that's been your dream. And I did it because I just thought it was so hysterical and I love to do like special effects makeup. So I started dressing as Pitbull. I kind of like took off and I used to impressions as him. My first tour I would open. I'd have a big video that would open as Pitbull. So everybody knows that I've had this obsession with Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305, also known as Armando. That's his real name. Have you met Armando? I met Armando. When I tell you I look more like Armando. When I'm in drag, then he looks like himself. Wait, wait, wait. I met. Yes. When did you meet him? I met him this summer in Hyde Park. Uh-huh. Did you get a meet and greet? I got. Oh, I got a meet and greet. Oh, yeah. I've got his number. We're boys. And when I just need you to know, he texts like Pitbull. He texted me, reached out to me. I was like, Heather, I love your work. Ha ha. You're so amazing. Let's go to London. And it was 55 exclamation points. And I read it like him. I'm like, London. He's like, I will see you there, Dolly. And I just said, this is amazing. So did he know that you were like a huge stan? Yeah. And he's, he's watched my stuff over the years and everybody shared it with him. And he's the nicest guy. I want you to know a dream of mine is to do some sort of collab with him. He is such a good guy and he has such a great reputation in the business. So that was also wonderful. Like never meet your heroes. And I met him and I said, want to kiss him. I want him to be my new father and maybe like my third husband. What's your favorite Pitbull song? That's a good question. I mean, Fireball always tickles me. And, and a way that I didn't know it could tickle me. But my real true OG song is Kulo. Kulo is like the beginning. How does Kulo go again? Kulo. Yeah. And also being from Atlanta, he and Little John tour a lot and they've been producing music together for a really long time. And I'm the biggest Little John fan. So it's kind of this like kismet thing that I'm from Atlanta and Pitbull and we all work together. I wonder if you could like get in one of his music videos. I would love to. Armando, if you hear this, I would love to be in the video. But even if he needs an extra where like he, you know how that people have their double for the day where he doesn't want to do the stand in scenes of him in the corner or whatever, and it's far away, you could be his double. Now, this was the craziest thing. I'm walking through Hyde Park. And so I basically host, I was hosting for on YouTube, a live countdown of him getting the gift for the Guinness Book of World Records. And Guinness Book of World Records like included me. They sent me a plaque. So I am, I am counted within that number. I'm walking through the crowd. I have an, and Kesha is performing at this time. So he's not on stage yet. Everyone started mobbing me and following me because I have a camera crew following me. And they're like, Pitbull, Pitbull. I mean, my hair and makeup was so good. Shout out to the makeup artist. And I had to like stop people. I'm like, I have acrylic nails. I have on a way like I'm not, I'm a woman. I'm a woman. I just kept saying I am a woman. And people could not believe it. And they would get up close and they're like, Oh my God, it's not you. It's not you. It's literally like, well, what is it like when it started with like the Timothy Chalamet lookalike contest in New York City? You were so accurate. You were so committed to the bit. I'm telling you, this is your next thing. You're going to be in one of his music videos and you're going to be his stunt double. And I've had being on a music video on my vision board for a really long time. It's just a dream. Okay. You moved out. I moved out of Robbins. People are mad at me. So to anyone who's not, you know, I don't know, lives under a rock for a while. Heather and her husband lived with Heather's mother. Yep. Now there was positives. There was negatives. We talked about this a lot. Every time you've come on, I'm like, how is it living with your mom? Like what's going on? Who made the decision to leave. I did. But it wasn't, people really want to be like, something dramatic happened. There's a riff. I said, I just want to be able to have sex in my kitchen. Can I tell you, I tour every weekend. I work too hard to not be able to come home on a Sunday, go to my room, take a two hour nap. I would get woken up. My mom's like, what are you doing? You being lazy on a Sunday? Oh, okay. I'm like, I just did 16 shows this weekend. She goes, I'm just saying, are you taking me to dinner? What are we doing? Oh, you want to take a nap? I'm just saying it's three o'clock in the afternoon. It's three o'clock. You know, the sun's out. I'm like, my bones hurt. I am, I have no voice. I have met a thousand people this weekend. Can I just take a nap? And finally I just said, I work too hard and I make too much money. But it was, didn't you live with her for six years? Yes. Six years. So what, what was it at the six year mark where you were like, I now want to have sex in my kitchen. Like it just, it just ruptured and you were like, I just need it. Yeah. And I just said, I don't know. At some point I looked at Jeff, I go, what are we doing? And Jeff's been like, I've been waiting for you to ask that. He's like, I wasn't going to push it, but like, I agree. You're just like, you know, I wasn't going to say anything cause I know you have a great relationship with your mother, but I am, I actually, I've actively put down, down payments. We are in escrow on four properties. You just have to show up and let me know which one you like. Yeah. But, and I walked into my house that I bought now and I just looked around. I said, great, we'll take it. Didn't look at the basement. Didn't look at the other things. I walked in. I said, love it. Let's go. Have you had a good time? We've had a good time, but I did have a fan trying to capitate me, an actual outdoor fan, a ceiling fan. No, I have, listen, the day that I have a stalker that shows up in my bushes, I'll be like, come in, sit on mama's lap. Let's chit chat. Do you need some plasma? You know, do you need an, do you need an egg? Okay. So you almost got decapitated. How? I was standing outside having my coffee and the fan, the outdoor fan, it like popped down. I just heard clunk, it detached and it was still rotating, flew off, nearly decapitated me. They were like final destination shit. And you're like, mom, listen, what happened to me today? She's like, yeah, bitch. Yeah. She's like, I came to loosen the screws. No, I mean, I see my mom. We talk 25 times a day. She's in her space. And I just said, listen, if we want to start a family, I need to be having a little bit more sex. But everyone liked a little riff, you know, we like a little tension with you and your mother. So, okay. So do you guys have the same, now that you're decorating, obviously, do you guys have the same decorating style? How are you and Jeff doing with decorating? Like what's happening? No, I did all this stuff to the house at my mom's house. And then I came over three days later and she had repainted everything. And I said, good thing I cut that check. That's another reason I said, I just need to have my own space. But my house is covered in my mom's art. My mom's an incredible contemporary painter. And so my whole house is like a shrine to Robin. Is Jeff getting a man cave? He is getting a man cave. He's getting a golf simulator. I was laying in my pool having this moment, like, look at what I've done. I've worked my, really worked my ass off for 10 years. And I was like, this is why I do casino shows. And then I did this private gig the other night for this. They ended up being the coolest people ever, but I got a phone call from my agent and they were like, Hey, this, this group of like 25 people want you to come perform for them. And I was like, okay. I couldn't get any information about them online. They're very private. And I got a little worried. So he just said, you know, we vetted them and Jeff saw the amount of money and he goes, I need a golf simulator. She'll be fine. He's like, I will drop your ass off. Let me know when it's over. Yeah, no. And they were great. And of course my team had vetted them and they were awesome. And now everybody has my personal phone number, but that kind of shit where like, you're doing private party. I want everybody listening to know if you have some cash in the bank, let me come roast you, your family. I'll come to Christmas. I, I love to work. And I will say there's a lot. And also decorating curtains are very expensive. Oh my God. And there's a lot of money. I'm sure that like, and you've heard about it. When like Rihanna or Justin Bieber goes overseas and they pay them this big check to do a little quick wedding and then they fly back. And it's like, that's you. Yeah. It's like the Prince of Spain wants me to come and do a little strip tease. I am your girl. He's like, I actually literally just want you to be funny. And you're like, Oh, sorry. Oh, you want me to put my top back on? Okay. Okay. Um, speaking of decorating, let's talk about home goods. My favorite place. Just a quick little home goods hit, you know, my mother moved to LA and we are home goods in it up at all times. How are the home goods here? Now you go to the one in the valley. I go to the one in the valley. Yeah. Now my favorite pastime was going with my mom and her best friend. We would all go as a family and we'd go in and they have this whole thing to the point where my mom and her best friend literally know, Oh, that aisle got one new thing this week. Like my mom's best friend, shout out Mary. She is in home goods every week. Talk to me about your affiliation, your love for home goods. And if someone hasn't been there somehow, some way, what to expect when you get into a home goods? Well, yeah. If you've never been to a home goods, I think it's, if you were to like drop, get dropped off at Ellis Island and you're a woman from like another country and you wanted to experience like true American beauty and joy and like welcome to our country, I would immediately want to take you to a home goods and be like, look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? That's what I would do. I mean, it's a, it's a, it's a safe space for women to walk around, to tinker, to touch tchotchkes. You know, you go in there with your iced coffee. Or your glass of wine in a Yeti cooler. And you just sip and you browse and you buy shit and bowls. It's a lot of bowls. I see we have a home goods bowl right here. A lot of mixed metals, maybe a little marble. You get a piece of art. You buy some nice sheets that are discounted. It's a joyful place. Now you will also find interesting pieces. A lot of funky outdoor furniture. Like it'll be a statue of a frog on a lily pad, but the lily pad is actually the tabletop. And that's where you put your cocktails by the pool. And the best is when it's on sale. And you're like, why? Because it's a little chipped or there's, the leg is broken. But you find the magic where you're like, but it's on sale. And maybe if I just turn the left leg and that's facing the wall that no one's going to see. You find your pieces and you make it your own so quickly. I think there is something in the feminine DNA where we like the hunt. You know, the lioness in me that actually goes out and brings home the bacon, stalks the prey, brings it back. Digging through bins. Of throw pillows, dragging, using my bare primal maternal hands to pull those rugs back at home goods. And I'm like, that's the one it's a Ralph Lauren rug. It's, you know, 50% off. I'm getting wet. Just thinking about it. And Heather, you know, it's great when you're walking those aisles and you pass that same woman a couple of times, it's like a nod. You're in solidarity with these people where you're like, you get anything good yet? Oh, I comment on the cart. I rifle through it. I go, I'm just saying, I need to know where those candles are. I need to know where those candlesticks are. Unless you start to eye the same thing as the same woman. And there's one left. And then you fight her outside of the home goods. You wrestle her to the ground and you steal her belongings. I am. I needed to say this because I'm getting so hyped up. I have to go find two bedside table lamps this weekend. Great. They got great stuff. I'm bringing my mom and I'm around this weekend. I want to, if you want to putz, I'm happy to do it. Get in person, get out there. And I also want to give a shout out to the home goods snack section. People do not give the food purveyors that are selling their goods. They're dried pastas. The Italian candies, they have pistachio candies. It's a nice chocolate shove with a pistachio cream. Holy. It makes a great decor in a marble bowl, but they're also delicious. So literally never tried the food. Yeah. You need to try the food. It's all great. All right. I'm going quick. Are you ready? We're about to wind down. I'm going to get your quick thoughts on a couple of things because you're, you know, millennial trends and I want to know what your thought is on all of this. Wedge flip-flops. Love them, need them, want more of them. Okay. Birkenstocks. Love them. They're great orthotic. My dogs are barking. I need a good solid shoe. Perfect. Skinny cigarettes. The greatest invention ever. And are we only doing it in Europe? We should, but I've been known to sit outside of LAX in a rental car and just kind of be alone with my thoughts. I have. Perfect. Bottomless mimosa brunch. Not for me, because too much orange juice is going to flare up the acid reflux. And again, I have to look at my acid intake with the gout. And are you even a brunch girl? No. Brunch just makes me sleepy. I'm more of a dinner gal. You give me one dirty martini, a bone-in ribeye, and then that's where I thrive. I'm more of a nighttime kitty cat. Okay. Toe rings. Ooh. You know, as somebody who's been told I have specifically gorgeous toe cleavage, I might want a ring for them toes. Okay. Monogramming things. Oh, honey, I'm from the South. I think you should have your initials on everything. You're monogramming shit? Yes, I'm monogramming everything. And I have monogrammed giant Euro shams on my bed, and they have my initials and not my husband's. And people are very confused, but if you're from the South, you know you always put the woman's initials. You don't put the family's. On the fucking bed? Yeah. That's a thing? Uh-huh. Because I didn't take my husband's name, but our kids will have his name. Does Jeff have a problem with it or no? No. Also, it's confusing for business. He didn't get it. Also, I'll just say, my dad's dead, and he only had girls, so we're keeping the McMahon as long as we can. Oh, and that's such a good answer. My dad said, hey, Jeff, I don't know if you know this, but my dad died. And he's like, never mind. So I'm keeping my name. Never mind. No, Jeff's not threatened by it. He loves it. The going out top. We need more of them. This is something, as I'm running for Congress, I need you to know that I am bringing back not only going out tops, tops in general. Where do you get tops? I don't know. I don't. Everybody wears these fucking body suits. So true. I am so sick and tired. That's probably why I got gout. Because, it is so tight on my pussy that I'm not getting actual blood flow down to the foot. Therefore, the uric acid is backing up all the way to my throat. wrote. I think if we stopped doing the rompers and we stopped doing the body suits and we brought back tops, we would all be a lot happier. Juicy couture sweat track suit. Love them, need them, want more. Last one. Having 15 bridesmaids at your wedding. That's insane. Okay. Absolutely not to that. I think have them be a part of the party, have a good time, but you don't need 15 bridesmaids. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? I've been a bridesmaid a hundred times. And how do they go? Have you had really bad bridezilla experiences? No, I've always had great experiences. Now, half of the weddings I was in, they're no longer together. And I did have one friend the night before the wedding, we all got together and we said, hey, cake, cupcake, bad idea. And we all confessed that we couldn't stand the guy. And it was one of those come to Jesus meetings. Wait, Heather. I know. And she knew it, but she still went ahead and got married and then is obviously no longer with him. And we love and adore her and she's a dear friend. But yeah. Did you think that she was going to blow up the wedding? I did. And, um, you know, listen, it's, that wasn't my journey, but I did have to say, I said, I gotta be honest with you. This is not good. Okay. That is where, like, I have talked about this. I'm so scared to ever talk about, you know, bachelorettes. Like there's backlash to you? Yeah. Like if I ever try to like talk about like, cause sometimes people are like, oh my God, well, you have to pay for the bachelorette and there's thousands of dollars and people get really upset. And there's like guidelines I think that women have when it comes to bachelorettes and being a bat, a bridesmaid. And it's, people are very intense. So I wasn't sure if you had anything where people were like getting crazy over the bachelorette. No. And I got married abroad. Therefore I didn't have a bachelorette party. I said, if I'm asking you to go across the ocean, I'm definitely not asking you to be a bachelorette. And my friends are sweet enough that they, they threw a, like a surprise pool party for me. And it was so kind of generous and they didn't need to do that, but I would never, I'm not asking you to go to Key West, strap on an airbrush t-shirt, do a bunch of mushrooms and go jet skiing. While that does sound like a fun Tuesday, I'm not bad at it. I'm not bad at it. I'm not bad at it. I'm not begging you to do that. Okay. And I do think that's such self-awareness there. And again, people can do what they want, but I think if you have a destination wedding, you got to be real sure of how much you're asking for on your bachelorette. Even if you're asking for something, going out of the country twice is not an option. It's not an option. And listen, back in the day, one of my best friends, she got married in Puerto Rico and I couldn't make her bachelorette party beforehand. Cause I said, Hey, I'm broke as a joke. I can either come to Puerto Rico, but I can't come do the bachelorette. And she was like, I totally get it. And she was very kind about it. But I'm like, I don't have two pennies rubbed together. I cannot do this. I love that so much because the amount of people that are like, well, they have to figure it out. No. Can I just say something real quick? We're going to learn another lesson and running for Congress. One thing I want to teach is, uh, financial literacy to specifically women. And I know you have like professionals on here, but this is why I go to home goods. This is why I go to Marshalls. We are all living outside our means. And I feel that more than ever. I mean, I saved up for seven years to get a house and I even feel guilty going and buying things or like, you know, doing things for myself. But I just feel like we all need to pump the brakes. You know, the economy is not doing great right now. And we all need to just pump the fucking brakes. I know. And expecting your friends to be able to do like this over here and this over here for the bachelorette and then the wedding, everybody calm down. Cause I know we're getting into that season and it always happens. And it's like, just everyone be gracious when your friend tells you that they can't afford it. You need to just also like not blame them and you need to be able to just be like, you know what? Okay. I was also not bridezilla. And maybe somebody, one of my friends will be like, you know, fact, check me on that. Cause I'm an entertainer. Hear me out. When I got to Italy, I was so excited for people to have fun. I didn't even give, I didn't even try on my, I did like one try on for my wedding dress. I knew I was going to look great in it regardless. And I was just like, are you guys having fun? Are you having so much fun? What are we doing? What are we drinking? You have an April spritz? Do you need a refill? Like people had to say, sit down, calm down, enjoy yourself. I'm like, I'm having the best time. Are you having fun? And that's, but you know what? I love this because I think a lot of people also just need to recalibrate, enjoy your wedding and stop focusing on all the other people. If people can't come, can't come, leave it be. Um, okay. Yep. Your special coming out. Yep. Buy a thread on Hulu. I want to know where do you write your best stuff? Because at this point, third special, you're so funny. You're so outgoing, but like, are you writing things out on a notepad? Are you putting it in your notes app? Like where, where are you, how are you doing this? I write so much on stage. I, and the way I write is I always have a beginning and an end. I kind of said this a million times, but because I'm a theater kid, I see the whole story, the whole picture. And then I go backwards. So I have a weird way. I write, I basically lock myself in the basement three weeks before I'm about to go out on the road. And I come up with like a beautiful mind. I mean, there's whiteboards, there's sticky notes. And Jeff comes down. I haven't slept three days. I'm chain smoking cigarettes in the basement. I'm like, give me rigatoni for a kiss on the lips and then get out of here. And he's like, okay, all right, relax. Um, and then I ride on the road, but you know, it's been different. And I'm so proud of this special. I don't have any yes men around me. Like I'm so grateful for the people that come on the road with me. My shout out to like Andrew and Ray and Tina, but, and just in the sense of like, I really started to get more critical with myself. And I wanted, I, when I get off stage, I'm like, give me feedback. Tell me, because I obviously can read a room and enjoy doing my comedy, but I really wanted people to like sit back and be like, I was sitting on the 10th row and this person really reacted to this. Like I'm getting very, I don't even want to say nitpicky, but very critical of certain things in a good way. And listen, you learn as you go, but I'm really, I'm really proud of this hour. And I, you know, it was a very, I don't, I'm not even gonna say vulnerable because my first special was about my dad passing and that was pretty vulnerable, but no, this is just like, I feel more confident than I've ever felt. I'm in the fucking zone. I'm not taking no for an answer. I don't give a fuck if you like me, I don't give a fuck if you watch the special, but if you do watch the special, you're going to sit down and have a great time. Honestly, Heather, I was so sorry. My publicist, everybody's gonna be like, yeah, you don't need to say that. They're like, Alex, I'll help you. Please watch the special. Definitely watch a special. You are so naturally funny and it's so authentic to who you are. And I think that's so genuinely refreshing in today's age because people will see, oh, maybe I could try this or I could try this. This is just who Heather McMahon is. She's fucking hilarious. I'm telling you guys, when the cameras are off, she's just as funny. She's just as incredible. And I have loved getting to work with you in moments. Like when we've done things on stage together. What a good time. It like, let me put it this way. There was a moment in my career, which I don't want to give too pinpoint to where we had to get on stage at some moment where Heather didn't think she was going to have to come on stage. And I was literally calling her name to get on stage because I knew she was going to come out and she was going to save this. It was a little Ryder Cup-ish. Yeah, you know, literally. It was like something had happened and a guest was falling through and then something happened and someone wasn't feeling well and the whole thing. And then I just literally started going, Heather, Heather. And around the stadium, Heather comes out and you saved the show. Such a professional. You know exactly how to get a crowd going. Like everything about you, I just have so much respect for. And I'm so kind right back at you. It really is so genuine, though. And I am so excited for everyone to watch this special. I think the way that you storytell, the way that you do bring things together, your genuine interaction with fandom is so fun to watch. You're so good off the cuff. You emceed Unwell Vegas. And I remember you like just roasting all these different people. Like, how does she fucking think of this shit? So it's just like- It also turned out I had the flu that day. Literally? I had no idea. And then I was like, the next day I was like, I didn't even drink. I was like, I am very unwell. No, no. I was like, I am. I went down at the club when we went to the nightclub afterwards, and I would never show up and like put anybody in like a position. But again, because I have a short white coat. You didn't even know. I was like, I think I'm just jet lagged. And by the end, the chain smokers were going and you were dancing and I could see your little chucha as you were dancing above me getting footage. And I went down so hard. And literally, Christina was like checking my pulse. She goes, are you good? I go, I'm not feeling- I'm so great. She's got the flu. But that's literally such a testament to you be literally having the flu and you can still perform. I love you so much. I can't thank you enough for coming on and making me die laughing. I'm never going to think of, I'm going to want to run into you in an airport now. I need to see the blazer. I need to see the fedora. I need to see you in action. But until then, buy a thread, Hulu, everyone go watch it. Get ready to laugh. Everyone needs a little laughter in their life right now. They need some laughter and levity. And one last thing, because we're learning a lesson today. If you're ever about to get on an airplane and you don't feel good, trust your instinct and don't do it. And if you ever feel like you don't know what you're doing or you don't know what your job description is, ask. And last statement, any last words to the golf community? Well, I pivoted to tennis. No, to the golfers out there, I love you. Love you. Love you. Bye. Bye.