Hayden Johnson Loves a Revolution

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There's no, there's no like icon status. And then seemingly kind of overnight, but also over the span of 30 years, it's like you're a legend, you're an icon, you're mother. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I really, I, I'm not interested in friends at all. Yeah. But come back. Come back is maybe the greatest TV show that's ever existed. Lisa Kudrow has been amazing for so long. And now I feel like she's getting this like icon status that I'm like, maybe it's always been there, but I just feel like, I don't know. I'm, I'm noticing things. Were you a friend's person? I was not a friend's person. Okay. I think that's because I think people did think she was an icon, but I just like, don't, I, I, I never watched. See, I thought that they thought that she was more of like a circus clown. They, she did recently say that they were very mean to her, but I think people, I think people liked her, like the audience. Yeah. That's what I'm saying is I think there's this like thing of like, it goes beyond being liked into like, I mean, I don't want to say like being respected, but it's like, like where we met on Roseanne was like very popular. She was like a high paid, like seriously, like very, I think audiences loved her, but I don't know that the industry was going, you're a legend. We bow down to you. And they should have been the whole time because she's has, has been amazing. But now she's like, yeah, she's one of those girls. Yeah. It probably goes from like, you're a character. To like, you're you. Yeah. Like you're known for your character. You're known for who is Lisa Kudrow, Phoebe. Phoebe. Phoebe. You're Phoebe. Yeah. And now it's like, that's Lisa Kudrow. And now you're Lisa. You go from Jackie to Lori. Well, this is what Taylor Ortega and I were just referring to as stepping from your big red clown shoes into your Louboutins. Wow. And I love Taylor. That's beautiful. I love Taylor. Well, she just stepped into her Louboutins with big mistakes. Yeah. She's like famous. That's like maybe the first, the first friend I've had that I've won. Well, there's, there's just, I don't know. There's like a real, that feels like a really huge step from, from I met from, I met, I met Taylor and she was, she was being so mean to men at open mics at like 1130 at night. Yeah. That was kind of how I knew Taylor. Yeah. And now biggest star on Netflix. That's kind of crazy. That's really crazy. Right. But you're very famous too. But I didn't know you. No, it's just, I didn't know you in your humble era. Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. In LA? I barely. Oh, Hayden. I was humble in LA. You were seeing me at shows in LA. Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, but like good shows. You saw me at my lowest. I was doing backyard shows in LA. How? By the way, something I miss and loved. I was about to say. I was about to say. Not something that was low at all. I was about to say. I think, I guess I thought that was a really treasured experience. I guess I thought that like maybe that was the point. I thought you were a part of like beautiful and beloved community, I guess. Yeah, I thought like. No, I completely loved it. I thought like hanging out with your friends in the backyard was kind of all we could ever hope for. It was never about that for me. It was always about the limousines and the Coke and the cash. Yeah, and that's kind of what you're doing now. That's what I'm doing now. I took a limousine here. I did Coke. I was counting, I was counting cash. I fired three people on the way here. They didn't even work for me. Yeah. I just, I said, driver, stop. Roll down the window. I said, you're fired. It was, can I say, right before we walked over here, do that much cocaine? Yeah. That was really crazy. Well, it just levels me out. Yeah. It's how I'm able to just be like this. Yeah, you were really hyper and then you did all that cocaine and you calmed right down. Yeah, it brings me down. It's like warm milk for me. Wow. Yeah, cocaine. It's because I've done so much of it. I'm such a party boy. Yeah, it's like a cigarette before bed or whatever. Exactly. Yeah. Are you partying? Are you doing the out till 5 a.m. thing? Not out till 5 a.m., but I definitely am. I mean, I'm trying to. I'm like not. I feel like there are people who take it really seriously. Like there are people who are like warehouse parties and stuff. I love those, but they take like a lot of, I don't know. It's like a constant going out, being in that scene, being at every party. Because there's always a party. There's a party every night of the week. Yeah. I try to do it like once or twice a month. That's really good. Yeah. That's really good. But that does feel, it's like an intense form. It's going out, I think, where it's like you're getting naked. Hmm. Sorry. What can I say on the podcast? No, I love that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting naked at parties? Well, yeah. In, you know, dark rooms and stuff. Oh, that's beautiful. I have to, don't go in there. They're really fun. I highly recommend. I think they're like friendlier than, hmm. I guess they're friendlier than you would expect. Like, I think gay guys are so scary. Completely. Right? Gay guys are so scary. You guys get it? Gay guys are completely, oh, they know. The big villain in all of their lives is one gay guy sitting right here. Don't laugh so hard. But it's like, it's like I expect to go in there and they're like, get this bitch out of here. You know, like, cause it's like, I'm a little different. Right? Sure. Well, you're a girl. Yeah. Right. But they're having fun that I'm having fun. It's great. It's so beautiful. I'm really happy to hear that. It's welcome here. Cause if I found out that they were being mean to you in there, Hayden, I, I shudder to think of what I would do. It, it, it was a fear. I was like, that's, that would really suck to like, to like strip down for strangers and for them to be like, Hey, not here, not here, sexual freedom, but not, not for a girl. Not for you, baby girl. You got to go. That's crazy. I would've gotten. I would've gotten it though. I would completely hate that. I can't ever tell if I'm upset when a gay guy doesn't want to hook up with me or not. Because on the one hand you're a gay guy. So yeah. So yeah. Yeah. You like guys. On the other hand, I'm like, grow up, you know, like, I think it could be fun. I don't know. Yeah. I think, I think, no, I'm sorry. I don't want to say that. I don't want to say, I think everyone should be more bisexual. I think everyone could be more bisexual. Why not? I think so. I mean, I really think so. But I don't want to like knock people for their sexualities. But I really think it would be nice. If everyone was a little more, a little more pan, a little more bi. Yeah. I mean, do you ever see these stories and it's like, um, it's like, oh, this, like this femme twink and this butch lesbian, like thought each other was like, uh, was like the opposite gender and they almost hooked up. Yeah. I'm like, they should have hooked up. They totally should have hooked up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They should have hooked up. They saw you. They saw each other from across the bar. They fell in love. And then they said no. Yeah. Because of some rule. I think that's crazy. I would give anything to be attracted to women. I mean that. It would be, it would mean the world to me to be more bisexual. I suffer from being a strictly gay guy. It's a complete nightmare. It's a humiliation. It's an embarrassment. It's very, it's almost conservative at this point. I see that. Yeah. It would give, it would mean the world to me to be more bisexual. It's a humiliation. I see that. Yeah. I would give anything to be into women. Do you know how many women in my life I would be so happy with if I could just get that part figured out? Yeah. I mean they're really great. They're the best. I was, I was gay boy for a long time and when I transitioned I started like dating girls sometimes. And um, they're really nice. Y'all are great. I'm loving what you're doing over there. They're really lovely. They're like, they're like, hey, how are you? You know? They're like, they're checking in. They're like, hey, how are you? You know? You know? You know? You know? You know? You know? I think it would be great. I wish, I wish that that was happening for me. I'm very happy for you. I know you're, um, how many relationships are you in at the moment? Committed? Yeah. Two. What about uncommitted? Five. Hell yeah. What are, what's the situation? Tell me about the setup. Well, so I have my two boyfriends. Um, I live with one of them. Um, he's like my primary. And then, um, we have another boyfriend, um, who's really lovely too. Um, and we see him together, uh, the two of us. Only together? Um, no, separately and together. Like we're, we're all kind of like a little throuple sort of thing, but I hate that word. It's kind of a nasty word. That makes sense. It really is kind of embarrassing. It feels heterosexual to me. I don't know. Throuple is like, I don't know, but there's not a better word to describe it. It feels binding. Like a, yeah, it feels like a legal kind of designation. Yeah. And that's kind of the whole point of polyamory is to not do that. Yeah. But, um, so then, and then there are like, you know, some sweeties that I see and I really enjoy. Um, I've got, I feel like I've got like somebody for everything. You know what I mean? I would fucking hope so. I think that's, I think that's also the point of polyamory for me is like, oh, I can like, you know, like what, what, it's like, I don't want to wait. I guess I was like, take out menus. No, come on. I'm like, oh, it'd be really good tonight. That's beautiful. Yeah. I have a lot of criticism of the polyamory community. Yeah. That was one of the last things that you said to me, um, before you left LA, which is, I guess why I thought you weren't in your humble era because you were like, uh, you were like, uh, oh, I was talking to somebody and I was talking about my partners. And then you were like, I have to forget that you're polyamorous in order to respect. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. I love that. It's not true. I say these things, but thank you. I do wonder about your guys's lifestyle. It's really fun. We have a big bed. How big? Biggest you can get. California King. California King. There's a bigger one, you know? Really? Yeah. And I know this because I know a gay guy thruple in Manhattan that special ordered this bed so they could all live together in the bed. Wow. And, um, I won't say any more about that, uh, for protection of their privacy, but I have more to say off camera about the bed. I was in it once. It was fabulous. Platonically. Um, sorry. I know I would, I would sleep with those guys. Hey guys, hit me up. Um, but, oh, it's called like an Atlantic King or an art, something like that. There's a, there's a Wyoming King and Alaskan King. Alaskan King. Alaskan King. Alaskan King is humongous. Yeah. I've heard about like, I've had a couple of gay guys who have money be like, oh, like we're thinking about like getting a custom bed for, because you can just also just get a custom bed for a room and just get like a, a room. That's basically a bed. Yeah. You can get circular. You can get heart shaped. That sounds so fun. I think that's how I would like to start. I move so responsibly and boring with my money. I think I would really like to start moving crazy, annoying gay guy style. I think you should. Have you ever, okay, this is, uh, did you watch the Elton John? Um, do you watch Rocket Man? I'm afraid to say I have not. Okay. Well, Rock, man is a fine movie, but it is, it is. There's like, there's so many scenes in it of, um, the, the guy who plays Elton John. I can't remember his name. Um, uh, Taryn Egerden. Um, but they're just doing like hedonistic gay sex in this mansion. And there's like mirrors on the ceiling and big, awesome, big beds and pillows everywhere. And I'm like, yeah, that's kind of what the point of trying to be close to famous is for me is like to get closer to that. Yeah. To put mirrors on the ceiling. Because right now, if I put mirrors on the ceiling, those are going to fall. Can't afford to have them installed properly. To get to a place where I can afford to install them properly. Yeah. That would be really cool. That's the goal. Yeah. That's the dream. That's what this is all about. I think so. I think that's completely beautiful. Yeah. Fuck art. It's all about mirrors on the ceiling. Fuck art. I've been saying for me, the mirror situation has never been like, I'm not interested in seeing like multiple mirrors. I'm not interested in seeing like multiple angles of the fucking. I'm really content to just be looking at the person I'm fucking. I'm also content to just be fucking one person. I'm pretty boring in that way. It is a lot to fuck multiple people. Look, I've been involved. It was fine. I almost, I almost had a threesome in Lisbon a couple weeks ago. Wow. And you know, it came time to make a decision. And I said, that just sounds like so much work. Was it going to be like a German threesome? How do you mean? Wait, sorry. What language? Do you speak in Lisbon? Where's Lisbon? Oh, it's in Portugal. Cut that, cut that, cut that. We'll cut that, we'll cut that. We'll cut that, we'll cut that, we'll cut that. No, no, come on, it's fine. I, people know that I'm done. And I have so much respect for you, by the way, legitimately, that I, in my head was like, oh, Hayden knows about something I don't know, called a German threesome. Which is like, I don't know where one stands in the corner and like takes notes on your performance or something. Yeah, one stands in the corner, and makes, be careful. No, I'm fine. Oh, that was nice. That was nice. That was very respectful of the German culture. I'm looking around the room to kind of figure out, Who's German? Who's German, and maybe what the culture is. Every room I'm in, I try to find the exits and who's German. Yeah. I want to know what I'm up against. Just in case. Just in fucking case. I, in my defense, I've never, I've only traveled out of the country once in my life. I, I'm not well traveled or worldly at all. Oh, where to, and do you have any directions? Do you have any desire to travel more outside the country? I would love to travel more outside the country. I went to Montreal for JFL. Of course. But that's the only time, and it's only been in that one little city, and I was only surrounded by every comedian. Everyone I've ever met. Yeah. So it wasn't really. Basically family vacation to Canada. Yeah, family vacation to Canada, but with a bunch of people I would also choose not to bring. I guess it's family vacation, but yeah, I would love to, I would love to travel more. I just, I don't know, because I don't know where Lisbon is, and that feels like a problem. That makes complete sense to me, and also Montreal, I would say of Canada, it's one of the more international, I would say it's the most international Canadian city to go to. I like that one. I've not been, I've not been to Montreal actually. It is, it is really, really beautiful, and they were all like, I don't know. It was cool to meet people who spoke French. Do you speak any other languages? No. Me neither, and I really, really, really want to, just not enough to work very hard at it. Yeah. Same with music. That's kind of how I feel. That's how I feel about both of them. Both of those. I mean, I took Latin in high school. Did you take a language? I took Spanish, but it was like, I went to a school district that treated it like a joke. They were like, we're going to eat tacos and give each other different names. Yeah. It was fucking stupid, and I'm furious, because had they taken it seriously, I was such a good student, I'd probably be really good at Spanish now. Yeah. But they didn't give a fuck, and that's why I didn't give a fuck, and that's on me too. Well, what I signed up, when I was going into high school, they were like, we're going to have Mandarin, and that's what I signed up for. I signed up, I signed up to take Mandarin, and then they dropped Mandarin, and put everyone who signed up for that in Latin, and so I just learned a language. I went from learning the language that might be the most useful. Exactly. To least, least, I'll never use it, and I don't remember it. Yeah, it's completely dead. It's pointless, and everyone's like, oh, you can use that to become a doctor. I wasn't going to become a doctor. Hey, that's not happening for me. That wasn't going to be me. You grew up in Ohio? Mm-hmm. How was it? Did you love it? You know, I don't know. I don't know, but I have a lot of love for Ohio. I think it's a beautiful place, and there's lots of beautiful parts of it. It just, I wish I had agency there. Like, I think that was the thing. I don't know why, but for a second, I thought you were saying, I wish I had agents. I wish I had. Yeah, my biggest problem with Ohio is I guess that I couldn't get agents when I was a child. Didn't have representation there, and that was really upsetting. It was like, you had to drive so far to find the nearest person who did headshots. Yeah. I feel like had I been able to be in a part of Ohio that was really beautiful and that I really liked and had my own friends and stuff, that would have been great, but Ohio was just. But that wasn't the case. That wasn't the case, and it's like, I don't know. It's kind of scary, a little bit. Totally. It's kind of mid. It's not the worst, but it's also not the best. They're having a gubernatorial election right now, are they not? I think Vivek is already. Yeah, Vivek. Is that all? He's an awful, awful piece of shit. I think he's going to lose, isn't he? I don't know. Chance, pull up Ohio gubernatorial. I think it was looking like it was going to go for him for a second. Well, he just won the Republican primary. Yeah. Right, that was always going to happen. What are the polls against his competitor? Right here, so these are the primary results. Amy Acton is the Dem frontrunner. Was this election like last night? It was recently, it looks like. They don't have. Let's. Search Vivek Acton head-to-head polls. I want to know for me. We might cut this. I want to see what's going on in Ohio. Yeah. Polls? I care about it. I definitely care about it. What? Oh, they've got. Plus one in Ohio is crazy. You're not going to be able to do more, Chance. Yeah. You don't have a New York Times subscription? Well, they're fakers. I think that's good. And by the way, that's a good thing. That is good. That is completely good. Okay, that's kind of neck and neck. neck here wow this is good that'd be really cool i mean i think like i i do think ohio republicans are like a little disillusioned with just judging from like my my family and like the people that i know there i think there's they're they're not maga certainly they were never maga right um they were always kind of like well we just sort of care about like christianity and that kind of thing they were more like john casick types they were very john casick yeah it was like polite midwesterners that were like oh we can't go in for all that spending yeah yeah yeah it was like okay i was the kind of republicans and i'm like you know what like i miss y'all yeah and then it got like really it's it's gotten so crazy to the point that i think they are like whoa whoa whoa like they are getting a little bit freaked out 100 people are having buyer's remorse on the whole deal i i think so this is what i said the last when trump got elected this most recent time is i was like yes i am sick about it of course and i don't i i don't there's no part of me that feels like this isn't going to be very very bad for a lot of people and also i do think if there is any silver lining i think this is going to be the death of that whole movement because he is going to not deliver on anything and way overplay his hand and completely blow all the like goodwill that he had with a certain section of people and that's exactly what he's done yeah and he's even like doing like he's getting rid of his own base by like not following the conspiracy theories right like they were all in on the on the epstein stuff on the vaccine stuff like i don't know and i just it just feels like they're not really tapping into any of that i don't know i mean what happened with the epstein stuff they did that fucking photo shoot with the influencers and the binders and then they just did nothing and they know they know who's in there and they're doing nothing yeah did you see his note with the jeffrey epstein's note or whatever that they just published no what what was they published his suicide note but it just kind of said like what a wild ride and it was like jesus christ well had some crazy days some crazy nights better be on my way now i think it ended up being like this was not worth it or whatever and i'm like that's what you leave yeah he's like i guess if i had to say one thing it's that donald trump had nothing to do with my crimes yeah well it was like if you're gonna write a suicide note i think it's like leave on a big swing yeah you know oh take some people down say i ever kill myself you better believe my suicide note will be long and impressive and mine will be filled with lies by the way sure i don't give a fuck all the people who've wronged me i that is really funny but i do want to say on the record mine will be only the truth that way if it ever happens i want you guys to know i'm not playing games with my suicide note i will tell the complete truth about everybody and everything i want you guys to know that i do not plan on killing myself i think i'm gonna die in a crazy freak accident like many many years from now yeah i see that for myself do you yeah yeah i don't i don't think it will be natural causes i tell you what it won't be for me and that's a helicopter crash i'm not getting in one they scare the fuck out of me and i don't want to go up there i think that's a real big thing for me right now is like how in la can we get rid of the helicopters yeah because it's crazy and they're not doing anything they just send the police helicopters up there to just fly around and freaking freak people out it sucks that's yeah that is what they're doing it's it's a lot of they're menacing on purpose it's it's so fucked up and then also they're crashing they're crashing the every other day it feels like we lose another beloved celebrity yeah um every other day because they were in a helicopter helicopter small plane crash you know what i was reading the other night there was this musician i gotta i can't remember his name but maybe like william bell or something but i was listening to this song that came out it was like a seven like 70s like soul song and i was like who is this guy like this is great i wonder what kind of career he had a fucking like research rabbit hole and it turns out he was like best friends with otis redding and otis redding died in a plane crash and he was actually meant to be on the flight that otis redding died on wow but he his show he was supposed to perform in maybe chicago and they had really bad weather so his show was canceled so he didn't take the flight and then he lived and then one of his biggest hits was actually writing a tribute song about otis after he died and i was like what the fuck could you imagine that's so beautiful you're supposed to be on a with your friend and then it crashes and he dies and then you write a beautiful tribute song about him and it's your 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anyone can even families find exactly what you're booking for booking.com booking.com booking.com yeah book today on the side i love i fucking love family guy so much it uh it meant a lot to me when i was 13 yeah and you gave it up in adulthood yeah i mean i gave it up pretty quick i think like into like later into high school i was like this is gonna make this is not gonna make me a better person um but i liked american dad for a while yeah that seems to be the dichotomy my journey with all of that was that in high school like whenever i was in high school i was like oh my god i'm gonna be a better person i'm gonna be a like everyone was watching things like family guy i was like you guys are fucking morons i'm not interested yeah and that's because they were all smoking weed and i wasn't like it was a whole thing yeah yeah and then i avoided it avoided it and then basically in like my mid-20s i was like actually family guy fucking rocks and then i started smoking weed and then it really was like it was all over damn i started smoking weed when i was like 27 really yeah just a couple years ago wow yeah i would have thought sooner just because you seemed good at it but i was like oh my god i'm that means the world to me i mean i i don't know like there are like people who do it in like a cool way i feel like i can't be around people and be high and i think that that i i do notice when other people can do that and not be crazy do you know what i am always shocked by the number of my friends that are getting like 40 milligram fucking blitzed before like a work event like literally going to work like that it's crazy i remember when i moved to la like you know it was such like comedian culture to like you know smoke cigarettes and whatever outside and i was like oh well like i don't want to Cigarette is bad for you Like I could like bring a joint And then I could like just go outside And smoke a joint And then like I'd be like hanging out And then I would just get so fucking weird And annoying I would get so annoying And it's also like it is a little intense Maybe it just felt like that at that time But it is a little intense To walk up to people who are smoking a cigarette And start smoking a joint Right next to them Like oh Jesus Enjoy your light buzz I'm about to go to a different fucking planet Right next to you bitch And I have to take like multiple hits to hang out You know I'm smoking half a joint at the open mic And then I'm going up I'm bombing That is so fucking funny Yeah I don't understand It's like it's one thing I have friends Like who work at like Gas stations and like jobs where I'm like Yeah sure get fucking blitzed for that Friends who are public figures That like their job is to speak and be normal I'm like what the fuck are you doing That is crazy I can imagine getting you do get to a point though Where you're just like so tired of it That you're just like I don't fucking care anymore Oh I'm there I just can't I can't be stoned I won't do well Yeah I'm definitely at the point where I'm like I don't care I just I was just hanging out with someone and I saw They're like an actor And they had like all their weed stuff And then a bunch of eye drops right next to it So and I think to me That alluded to their smoking in the morning They're putting in the eye drops and they're going to set I think I mean like look I would love To get to a place where I can be stoned for like All my daily activities I really want to start Experimenting with it I just am not Sharp when I'm stoned I'm not I mean Obviously I'm like literally like dumb like Drooling yeah like begging for Cheeseburgers like I'm literally like fiending I'm being so insane And weird it's like no I don't Think I would do good at my job Yeah it's not helpful For that kind of thing I don't even really Know what it is helpful for Yeah It's helpful for chilling the fuck out In my life I'm like Weed is really for when like I don't I don't smoke a ton but weed is for when I like do not have another Thing that sometimes I'll smoke a little bit when I'm out Like I smoked a little bit when I was out last night like Two hits and I was fine yeah but mostly Weed is for when I'm like I have arrived at Home I don't have anything to do for 15 to 26 hours yeah And I'm going to get as stoned as imaginable And just like zone out Yeah that's like 10 o'clock I'm going to watch a movie that's Going to be the rest of my night I'm going to play We got a switch I really love the switch you play video games at all I play one video game I play one video game only on Xbox and it's unfortunately Madden whoa I know It's so humiliating It's kind of like if It feels almost as if I was Like yeah I play like one game and it's like Quidditch It's like it's like it just Feels like you going online and playing Madden like could only result in a harmful Like language being thrown At you you know so that's a Great point and I do play Against strangers on there but what I do Is this is the this is kind of the fun For me I mute them immediately So I can't hear a word they're saying then I Turn off on Xbox you can like Replace the game sounds with Spotify Whoa You listening to like Vibey R&B While you play football yes I'm listening and I'm listening to like folk I'm listening to like Waxahachie and Nathaniel Reitliff and Kevin Morby I'm Literally listening to like sad folk songs While I fucking dust these teenagers I'm hanging like 75 points on some fucking 13 Year old in Wisconsin Listening to the saddest country Song you've ever heard in your life they're on the other side Going You just can't hear it yeah I'm meanwhile the lilacs Drink the water I'm fucking I'm blissed out I'm Stoned I'm running it up that's So beautiful I love that actually That makes me like it more my Favorite thing to do is to Start and for any Madden heads out there nobody Who listens to the show has ever played Madden I like to very first play run A Hail Mary because I have a specific route that I can Hit every time it really Scares my opponents I think the worst thing About Madden and this last thing I'll Say about Madden Podcast is Like it really makes it really Makes you like want Michael Vick like It like because Because Because Because What do you mean Well no no no Because because because I Maybe Madden's not like this anymore but Like when I was playing it it was like Michael Vick is a 100 player he's like the fastest Guy ever he can throw Like all the way across The field like he's perfect he can Do everything yeah and it was Crazy to me that they like kind of kept That yeah and despite like The dog stuff yeah Yeah And I do think that was fucked up Skill is skill you can't lie on the game He's still that good even with the dog stuff I guess the dog stuff doesn't affect how Good of a player he is but it feels like there Should have been some alluding to that He loses some charisma points or something Yeah like yeah like maybe just like that Maybe we like don't make the character like Handsome or something like I don't know Really funny because he did like a social ill We have to like make him a little ugly in the game at least Well I don't we have to do something Because it's like he went to prison We did do something he went to prison Oh yeah but I don't want to say That's the thing that should happen of course I understand that yeah God my politics are so confusing Conservatives would have a field day with this Moment well he should be punished but I know That I can't say prison so God so we have to make His character in Madden really ugly That is so fucking funny I would love to see you in charge of the law for a while It would mean the world to me I was I think I have Good politics I'm just too dumb to figure Out what how to do Stuff I don't think you're dumb at all I think you have great Politics I would love to see you in charge for a couple Weeks I think I could make some real Some real good changes I mean I would just Get rid I would just destroy everything I think really what I see Is I like want to send us back to like Pre-industrial revolution How do you mean like people will Die a little bit earlier in life Totally but like we'll Like farm together and stuff Yeah like we'll kind of have everything That we need within like Our little communities that's beautiful Local yeah yeah everything localized And we'll live in kind of like you know The what we already have what we Have and so you know we can kind of like Make little like artist houses out of like The Skyscrapers and stuff yeah do you Have any plan for all of the Murder and assault that was going on In those societies Yeah so I think that Like if we just kind of like talk To each other a little bit more and just Say hey guys even if you want your neighbor's land You can't kill them you can't kill them Yeah I mean I think that we do have to I think ultimately like there should be A lot of really cool places and then there Should be like one bad town Yeah and then we and then like Everybody that like wants to do murders And stuff it's like we send them all to the bad Town yeah and it's not prison Like they can run that town how They want yeah but They're all doing their shit over There and then maybe they figure out how to work Together and how to be in community crime Town sounds beautiful crime town I think Is a really good crime island we're sending You to crime island crime island does start To get a little bit prison-y to me I mean Crime island is Australia now that it's Right I think I think when you But there's something there's something There somebody who's got who's again Smarter than me will be able to take Crime town and figure out How to make it into something somebody I will have a crime town advisor yeah I will that's I really think I could be a great I was like watching Zora and I was like I feel like I could do The like the the tech talks And then like you could walk down the street And shake hands yeah and then like I could Figure out I think I'd be a really good judge of Like who could who could come in and like The Zoran thing is so funny I love him Obviously I'm like thrilled that he won I don't vote Here but I would have very happily voted for Him I would also if I lived in LA be voting For Nithya for the record If you're voting in LA vote for Nithya Spencer Pratt needs to go to crime town Yeah he needs to go to crime town he's a fucking Brain dead belligerent moron Um and Karen Bass is useless But I think It's so funny the way that like You kind of like can't control The vibes assessment that you get from the General public and politics like Zoran Will do something he'll walk down the street and shake hands With people and people will just be like Foaming at the mouth ravenous For how cool he is and he is Yeah but then if like If Kathy Hochul did the same thing they'd be like They'd be ready to kill her like There's just a and it's and I also agree With that and feel the same way but I'm like How do you I guess it's just being Genuinely cool I think it's being Genuinely cool I think There's a certain level of charisma and then Also just like being pretty Normal yeah I think like A big problem that I feel Like I'm seeing a lot of progressive politicians Run into is like they're trying so hard To perform cool right that If they were just like earnest and kind of Having fun Like Zoran's kind of awkward he's kind Of like dorky and I think that Like if people like kind of stopped trying To like I don't Know like sell a personality I think They could do better not that Zoran's not doing That but like well they really thought they were gonna Get him it's so funny all the times they thought they were Gonna get him and then they just boosted his profile by like A million like when they put out there like oh my God look at this humiliating Rap that he did where he was like 23 And shirtless and a whole all cart and I was like He looks so fun And pretty hot Yeah he should be the mayor like Just like every time they tried to get him they Like just like showed like a Normal like him being a normal guy Yeah And I think that's also something that I think we're missing a lot. They did the same thing to AOC. Do you remember when they put out that? They were like, look at this video of her dancing on a rooftop. That was crazy. It was like, she looks so hot and fun. Now every day, RFK Jr. is dragging a deer, a dead deer, across the White House lawn. Bringing it in front of a bunch of kids and just fucking stabbing it open. I'm going to be like, oh yeah, when she danced, that was crazy. Oh shit, that's so funny. What are you looking forward to? What are you excited about? What's going on with you? I don't know. I'm touring. I have my hour and stuff. And I'm excited to do that more. I really, really like doing shows. I like doing stand-up a lot. That's a lot of what I look forward to. How's the hour going? How has building it been? Have there been parts of it that you were. Is this your first hour? Yeah, this is my first hour. Have there been parts of it that you were surprised by? Tell me about building the hour. I think it really started from. It's been interesting. I think it's also just evolved throughout my transition and also my political perspective. I think when I started, I was a lot more. I wouldn't say they're hacky trans jokes, but they were just pretty basic about how it was perceived. And stuff. Yeah, finding voice, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now where I'm at with it is I feel so confident in who I am that it is what I'm saying is crazy. And I'm screaming and I'm going nuts about. I don't know, kind of in like a. I don't know, like a bashback sort of way or whatever. It's less about me being like, oh, I hope that people. People see me as a girl and more me being like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. And I really like that. You have some of my favorite jokes about gender. You have. There are two jokes of yours in particular that I think about a lot. And I'll butcher them in front of you and I don't care. I don't feel embarrassed. I'm going to butcher your own jokes in front of you. There's the one that you have about being like. About being like, when I was non-binary, I was like, gender's fake. It's completely invented. We don't have to think about this. Like, grow up. Yeah. And then when I transitioned to being a woman, I was like, I'm a girl. I'm actually just a girl. I'm actually just like a girl. That's funny. I feel like that's a thing that like, trans people do a lot because it's like. It's like. And that's not what. Like, non-binary is not soft-lunching transgender. No. I mean, both are. Non-binary people are trans, but like. I don't know. It is really funny when you go from non-binary to binary trans because it's like, gender's made up. And then it's like, but I'm maybe a little bit more like this one. But if I had to pick. Yeah, I love that joke. Well, it's such a funny thing to me about like the older trans people that I'm friends with is that they have a real. A lot of them are real fucking gripe with non-binary because they love the binary. They're like, no, I was a boy and now I'm a girl. And they're very intense about it. That's really something I've been running into a lot is like, I don't know. Trans people have such a diverse array of opinions about transness and how they should be perceived and also what we should be doing as trans people. It feels a lot like leftists, to be real. It's like, so many people have a different idea of it and they get so mad if someone is doing it the wrong way. I kind of think that that, the whole point of leftism and transgenderism is being like, oh, you can kind of do whatever you want. That's the point we're fighting for you to just do however you want. You want to do it, but you just can't tell anyone else how to do it. But yeah, I'm like meeting older trans people and they're like talking to me about, like, I don't know. Sometimes they'll be like, oh, like, so like, did you get, like, just talk about like work, getting work done or whatever. And it is a little bit like, um, yeah, we don't really do that anymore. Hi, well, and we do, and we do, but like, maybe we don't just kind of spring out on people anymore. Yeah. Um, I don't know. Yeah, I think if I've learned anything from the older queers in my life in general, it's, uh, sort of sad and sort of beautiful, but it's the idea that truly everybody, no matter who they are, um, every group is susceptible to the idea of aging just makes you more conservative. Like, I'll talk to older queer people across the spectrum and almost every single one of them will say something that I'm like, whoa, what the fuck? Yeah. But it's like, yeah, they, I, I don't know. This is a person who was born in like 1968 like totally. And also it's like, it's very real that like, I don't know, whatever you feel will help you survive. Um, especially like, I don't know. It's like trans people like giving me advice, even if it is unsolicited. And I don't like the advice that they're giving me. It's like, that is coming from a real place of their experience and like what they think. And I, and I do respect it. And I, I take it and I go, well, it's not for me, but I don't know. I don't know what to do with it. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand down, succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. We all could use a good website in this day and age. I tell you what. And Squarespace has so many awesome features to get yours up and running. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. 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Join at rocketmoney.com slash showtrue. That's rocketmoney.com slash showtrue, rocketmoney.com slash showtrue. Apple Pay is more secure than a physical card. Because you authenticate your purchases with Face ID before you pay. And your actual card number is never shared with merchants. Simple, secure, fast. That's Apple Pay. Terms apply. Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices, 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. And that's just pregame. He knows teamwork, and BJ's knows savings. This is your home, Coach. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. Shop online. Beat the heat. I'm very grateful that I get to know older trans people. I didn't think that that would ever be like a thing for me. Yeah. Like, that's crazy. I didn't even really know that that was going to be a thing. Like, period. But, like, let alone that, like, I get to, like, talk to them. I don't know. Yeah. That makes total sense. Yeah. I think we would, all of us in general, just benefit more from, like, the thing you're saying of being like, yeah, someone can tell me something. thing and i can just go that's not for me but thank you it was nice to talk with you about that i think we all would benefit more from just being like oh yeah i don't feel that way it's okay that you do yeah i mean i think then that feels like security and your identity to me is being like oh yeah like you can say something and i don't feel the same way or like i don't want to receive that but like that that doesn't affect me like legit no worries yeah no worries i kind of i kind of got my shit down yeah um and you got your shit out of that's okay we don't have to change each other's minds um i mean like be respectful and stuff but that's really all i ask just do whatever you want i just yeah i'm like i don't care do whatever you want i'm gonna do what i want i'm having a great time yeah you can tell me anything you want to tell me and i'm just like yeah i think my favorite people are people that are just like self-aware and non-plus like i just love people that are like oh yeah i know i'm like this and that's this is something i'm willing to try and change is the thing i'm not like just very aware of what's going on with them i like that yeah and it's really comforting because it is like i don't know it's it's overwhelming when you're trying so hard to be so many different things the right way i think when you let go of that it is like a very nice feeling to be like oh i'm just like gonna be me and like do this my own way and your way might be like some way that i would totally hate but like do it yeah you can do it um getting back to the hour because i there was a question i wanted to ask you that i forgot about um when you were building your hour did you did you look at it in terms of like any particular spacing like were you like oh i'm gonna build two half hours and meld them or i'm gonna build four 15 minutes like was there any particular way that you built it out or did you just kind of like vibe it yeah it's i feel it's kind of like um like 20 minutes about like me um 20 minutes about like how i grew up and then maybe like 20 minutes about how i grew up and then maybe like 20 minutes about just uh the world around me and the world either reacting to me or me reacting to the world um i don't think that was like super intentional but like i think that that helped me in terms of like putting it together being like okay like what do i want to get across if like somebody's coming and like seeing me and it's like probably my perspective my experience and whatever i think is funny right now um and yeah i think i think it's working really well i think it's working really well i just did it last night it was really really fun where'd you do it um uh i did it for the netflix as a joke festival you were in la last night i was in la last night when did you get here this morning oh my god aiden are you so exhausted i'm doing 10 out of 10 i said i don't know where lisbon is and i think that they should make michael vick ugly i'm doing 10 out of 10 did you at least have a direct flight overnight oh thank god yeah um that's sick where did you where did you run it like where what venue is that lyric lyric i love that place yeah i'm really excited i think i'm gonna get to go i've had on my calendar for months um and i really think i'm gonna get to make it like next weekend steve fernandez is recording his special there oh my god and i think i'm gonna get to be there for it i'm really excited i love steve fernandez he's a fucking legend so much isn't he the best he's the best um yeah i think like maybe the i would say like maybe number one straight guy that i or sorry not straight guy but i would say like maybe number one straight guy that i or sorry not straight guy please um number one but i what i know exactly what you mean i'm like i'm like number one like cis like like masculine like the number one masculine guy yeah like i i don't think i've ever met a more positive uh masculine figure yeah um but and me being like oh the best straight guy is like bisexual bisexual and polyamorous yeah yeah bisexual polyamorous yeah i don't know he's so funny i fucking love steve he is like one of the most unexpected like when i moved to la i knew steve uh from the internet before i moved to la because he and amy miller were truly like so fucking nice to me like i when i was in chicago and i had like a little bit of internet attention and like i was like really starting to pick up and like i was still not bad at stand-up but like i was very bad at stand-up at one point at this point i was decent but i was like really still figuring out my voice yeah amy and steve amy miller and steve fernandez truly took such good care of me they like found out i was coming to la and they were like amy was like i'm gonna call the lyric hyperion and like try and get you a show slot and like got me booked at lyric for a headlining show and they put me on their podcast and amy like amy was like if there's any comics you want to know like let me introduce you and steve same thing like steve was like if you decide to move to la like hit me up and like truly like i owe them so much for their like help to me at that time yeah and i was just blown away i think they're both so fucking funny but i was blown away by steve's point of view and like perspective yeah i just don't think i'd ever met anyone like like who like i don't know but talked about that stuff before and like also like talked about it with such like the there's like a masculine bravado to talking about like queerness that i had not encountered before and i was like oh that's so sick i love that yeah um he's up there being like come on fellas if you've never been in the ass you haven't he's like he's like he's you think it's you're not going back i'm telling you it's great i love it yeah he he fucking cracks me up and amy too amy's so goddamn funny yeah and it's so sweet amy miller is a fucking killer she's so good she has a yeah i i i won't butcher her jokes to you but they're both just so so so fucking funny la has a lot of like truly for all the jokes about the la comedy scene which are all valid and very valid completely valid all true based 100 in facts and data for all of that there are just like some fucking amazing comics in la that that are i'm just like oh my god you should be so much more famous than some of the people that are famous for this there's so much better yeah it's weird i mean i i don't i i don't know if like it's if the move is to come here and like do more stand-up but like for you you mean well for like i there are a lot of people who i think could be like really really good at stand-up but they want to stay in la so that they can like act and stuff um and like that's totally valid or they just want to stay in la because they want to stay in la i think staying in la to stay in la is valid at this point staying in la because you want to act is like it's like staying in atlantis because you like being above water it's like that isn't happening there anymore like that's over yeah it doesn't make any sense but la is such a beautiful place to live it's like stay because you enjoy living there it really it is i love la la is so good you think you'd ever move here i do think about it i will i i really um i really want to have the that experience and um i really like my quality of life in la i really like being in the sun i really like my people um but god to miss out on living in new york city new york the big apple city that was kind of why i moved too i was just like i was i'm sure i'll move back to i was telling someone the other night like i imagine in three years i will probably move back to la for multiple years and then move back to new york i feel like i'm just gonna ping pong my whole life yeah and then i'll do something fucking random and move to like amsterdam or something but i really was about to turn 30 and i was like oh fuck i am i am not gonna want to do this when i'm 40 i don't think so i better go do it now well i really want to like go out more and be around people more and i i i'm sure i could make that happen in la but it feels like a lot more work than to do it here whenever i'm here somebody invites me out like every single night yeah and that's so great and when i'm in la people want me dead maybe people don't like me but like that's how people just don't want to go and do stuff i think they're tired of driving they don't want to drive people don't want you dead in la they just do not want to leave the house yeah it's very very rare for people to want to leave the house in la i i think i really want to like have like some some land that i like collectively share with a bunch of other people and we can all have little like tiny homes on it or something where do you imagine that's gonna happen i don't know maybe like the pacific northwest or something i think you'd be the first queer person to ever try and do that in the pacific northwest i don't yeah if i do it in the well and guess what i'll be there and please do i really think it could be so beautiful i mean i miss hanging out i like want us i want everybody to be hanging out and i think that if we all lived 20 feet away from each other maybe a little farther yeah right maybe 30 40 maybe 30 40 yeah um then i think it would be really easy i'm down unfortunately i'm trying to make this this pitch is not working because of the state politics but i'm trying to make this pitch for missouri because kansas city is so great and so easy to get it's an hour to chicago it's an hour to atlanta it's three to new york and three to la it's like the perfect time to be able to for touring artists in general and i keep trying to make this pitch and everyone's like we don't want to live in missouri due to the christofascist government i'm like totally totally totally and i get it so it's not happening for me where i want it to happen but i do have the same vision as you i'll come i'll get a gun come and get a gun that's what a lot of my trans friends are doing in kin city hell yeah yeah they're definitely people are getting armed that have never thought about getting guns before i'll tell you that i love that i think that's so sick i think it's chic i think that we gotta do it i mean it's just it's not gonna be Unfortunately, it's not looking like fascism is going to end with us all. kind of spraying. I do think that it's going to involve some guns at some point, and so I don't think it's a bad idea for us to all brush up a bit. I got some, you know. I was an Eagle Scout. Oh, I can shoot. I can shoot. I'm a great shot. Here's the thing, though. I'll move before I get involved in any sort of gun revolution. I'll go somewhere else. I love this country up to a point. It's not that I love this country, but I love revolution. No, I'm sorry. See, I'm the opposite. I'm in Les Mis. I'm in Les Mis. I'm in Les Mis. I think I can really Les Mis my life. I keep going back and forth about whether or not I love this country. Sometimes I'm like, of course, objectively, I don't. How could I? And then other times I'm like, I really do love this country. I love like, I don't love our government, but I love like the people and my experiences here and it being home and I love the physical beauty of this country. There are things I love about this country, and I go back and forth about what that means, and I'm like, am I patriotic? And then I'm like, ooh, is it actually patriotic? Is it patriotic how much I hate this country? I think, I mean, I think it's like, it's like all you can really care about is people, right? And the people that you're around. It's like hard to care about like a thing like a country because like what is a country? You know, a government or whatever. I've been thinking about this a lot. What is a country? Is it a government? Is it a border? Is it a, I don't think it's a border, but I'm like, that is what would technically define the space of a country. So I think it's just like, yeah, I love people in my community. I love people that I'm around. I love the beauty in the place that I grew up and drive through or whatever. And I would defend that against like data centers or whatever it's going to be. Yeah. I think they're going to, I think that pretty soon they're going to introduce like the big smashing robot that like destroys mountains. And I'm ready. I'm pretty sure that's coming soon. I'm ready to kill the robot. Yeah. They're like, oh, the robot that mows down every tree or whatever. It's going to be the Lorax soon. It's like, I know it's like, oh, ha ha, jokes, jokes, jokes, but it's, it's going to be the Lorax soon. I really think, I really think it is. And we're going to have to kill the one slur. Do you know what though? I fucking love being American. Like when Europeans make fun of Americans and they're like, you guys are so loud and annoying. And like, you think that your culture is the center of the universe. I'm like, I don't know. I kind of just love being American. I love being loud as fuck in Paris. I love, I love annoying little French people giving me side. I like, I give a fuck what they think. I'm like, yeah, I'm fucking fat and loud and tall and American and I love it. Yeah. I can't get enough of it. Fuck a baguette. I love calories and being loud and country music and football. My dick. I love it. I completely love it. Wow. You are American. I love, I love movies. I love everything we do. I love movies. I love the California coast. I love, I love the fruited plains. You should write a country song. This is crazy. This is a shirt. Fuck everybody. I love America in some ways. Yeah. And tell that to the French people. Yeah. I mean, I do think they get a little, they get a little obsessed with, with the, with rules. I like what I, what I, what I do like about American culture is that I do think there's, there's an idea. I don't know that we follow it, but like that, like, oh, nobody's going to fuck with us. Like, we're not going to listen to anybody else's rules. You know, we're not going to let anyone step on us or whatever. Totally. And that's when we started doing war crimes. And then, yeah. And I'll say, that's where I step off. Right at our war crimes, I do start to step away. But if that idea, like, like if that idea was cool, that would be really great. But if that idea was cool, of just being like, I'm going to do me. Fuck you. You can't tell me what to do. Yeah. I like that idea. I don't like that. That involves the destruction of the world for some reason. Not into that part of it at all. Not into that part at all. But I don't know. I really feel like there's just, there's just a little misaligning where we could really get some people to turn over into being like, oh wait, I don't think that like the government's, like, I don't, I don't think it doesn't have to be this way. I guess that's, I think people really feel like it has to be this way. What is so true to you, Hayden? Oh, I have one. okay. You'll be the first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. And this goes kind of along with what we've been talking about. Uh-huh. Um, okay. I don't, I think that people have to stop making fun of furries. Full stop. Say that. I think that they, they are amazing. They're sweet people. And, and, and also it's a, well, well, also it's hack. It's hack as hell. It's like, it's like, we've heard it. You think they're weird, bitch. You're weird. Your boyfriend hates you. It's like, it's like, I promise you're weird. Also, also their eye doctors, they, they have a lot, they, they have a lot going on. Yeah. We're going to need them for the revolution. Yeah, we do. When the revolution comes, we'll need their hacking. It'll come in a tail. Yeah. That's right. When the revolution comes, it'll be wearing ears. Yes. And these people have money. Yeah. And when we go up against the American government, we're going to have to do guerrilla warfare. You know, it's not going to be pretty, but like, we're going to have to be in the woods and stuff. And who's going to want to be the gorilla? That's right. That's right. Furries. Yes. Yeah. Well, they're going to be looking for a bunch of people. They're going to be looking for a bunch of people hiding out in the woods. Yeah. They're not going to, they're, they're going to see a bunch of, a bunch of deers and foxes. And they're going to go, well, not, they're not here. They're going to go. That's so realistic. That fox has to be real. That fox must be real. It's so tall and standing on two legs. And then they turn around. That fox has a gun. Hello. That's right. That's just a fox grazing in the forest. Surprise. The fox has a shotgun. You're done. Yeah. You're cooked. I think that's how we win. I think that's beautiful. And I don't think I, yeah, I think, I think they're so lovely. I just don't think we should be. I'm an ally to the furry community. Everyone that I've met has been absolutely lovely. I don't want to be personally involved with the costumes, but I, I love seeing them do their thing. I love that. They have entire like personalities and personas for them. Yeah. I think it's beautiful and creative and wonderful. Me too. I don't have enough closet space. Otherwise, you know, or I mean the financial investment is crazy. Yeah. The financial investment is crazy. You could buy like a very nice luxury vehicle for what they're spending on these costumes. Yeah. And in a way, isn't that beautiful that they spent it on a handcraft sort of piece of art? More people should do things like that. Yeah. That is absolutely beautiful. We need the furries. We'll need them in the revolution. We will. I send my love to them. Me too. And by the way, they hurt nobody. They hurt nobody. They hurt nobody. They're not recruiting like Christians. No. You're welcome if you want to come, but they're not out firing. No. And, and if they did, then, you know, we could talk about that. But they're not. They're existing. They're being lovely. They're being kind to each other. Like their community is mostly like free of Nazis, I think. I think it's a totally Nazi free space. Ah, there's, I think there's a couple in there. Are there Nazis in there? There's a couple in there. But they get like excommunicated. They're like, you know, they're really good about keeping the Nazis out. Something that the Christians. Are historically bad at. Not so big on. Yeah, they elect them. Yeah. Yeah. They really like them. They like keeping them around. I think this is completely beautiful. Do you have a furry in your life? I have a couple and they're all really nice. That is beautiful. Yeah. I like, I just, I, I feel like, I also feel like there's a little bit of shame there because for a while it was like, you know, you're in like middle school or whatever. And you're like, that's, that's weird. That's, that's creep. You know, it's like, it's like you, you don't understand it and you want to not be different. I mean, to your point, it's not weirder than being in a loveless marriage of convenience. Yes. That's way fucking weirder. And a lot of people do that every single day. And we're expected to interact with them. Like they're fucking interesting and they're not. Yeah. And I think there's something about like growing up and also being like, Oh, again, with what we were talking about, it's just being like, Oh, I can just like do whatever I want and I should be allowed to do whatever I want. Whatever makes, makes me happy. And if that's furries, furry shit, go off. I think that's so cool. Shout out to furries and their fursonas. Yes. I love them. I want them to be well, and I do welcome them in the revolution. And I think when the revolution comes, I hope that there'll be out there on the front lines. I don't, we don't need them to be on the front lines. They need to be on the front lines. But I'm going to be sending love to them from a safe location somewhere far away. Y'all start putting vests, inside those suits. Yeah. That could be, I think that could be cool. I'm going to be posting on my Instagram story. Shout out to all the furries in Cleveland today that were a part of the battle. I'm on like a terrace. I'm on, I'm on a terrace in Ibiza. Yeah. On signal. Wow. I love it. Oh, that's so funny. Do you have any skills I don't know about? Do you have any useful skills for the revolution or otherwise? God. Oh no. I know. I know how good you are at comedy. Yeah. I'm kind of just like nice to be around sometimes. I completely agree. Um, Oh gosh. I, I like cooking. I'm getting into cooking a lot. What are you making? I'm making a lot of, I really love breakfast. I'm making a lot of curries. Um, I'm making a lot of salmon. What kind of curries? Uh, you know, just like a, just like a golden curry. It's like a, yeah, red curry. Um, I don't know, I really like spicy food, a lot of the people my life don't like spicy food so it's kind of i do you do yeah i would eat i would if you made spicy curry for me i would eat i would go crazy okay well when you're in la for steve hernandez is you won't be back yet though will you will i yeah i'll be back i thought you're gonna be here for like two weeks i'll be here for a week oh wow you'll be back this is huge we make curry for me for real absolutely do you mean it yes can i hang out with your boyfriends definitely i would love for you to meet my boyfriend oh my god life is so good right now do i get to meet all five or just the two mains um the i would say the two mains but the other three come around sometimes one of them's not or not around at the moment okay no worries i'm like extremely vague and scary and i actually don't want you to go any more into that i'd rather play a game i'm like i'm like they're in europe they're not they're not around right now they're unavailable in the woods uh hayden i'm gonna read you 15 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what i just said was true or false you you're the first person to ask wait how do i double or nothing you're the first person to ask i don't know what it means but we'll do it okay great great here's what i'll tell you okay so you need to get 10 or more correct to get 50 how about if you get 13 or more correct i'll give you 150 work you ready okay okay walk in okay rugrats ran for nine seasons true that is true the iphone 5 s was released in 2013 false that is true chimpanzees are herbivores true that is true all metals are magnetic false that is false monroe ohio's motto is firmly founded proudly growing true that is true jimmy john's was founded in 1983 true that is true one light year is a measurement of time uh true false it's distance jellyfish are 95 percent water true true the mojave the home the mojave desert is in africa false false in the u.s ohio is it mojave or mojave mojave thank you ohio university's mascot is randy the bobcat false false it's rufus the bobcat hell yeah all all arachnids have eight legs false true it is true carly ray jepson played soccer in college huh what So we're going to get rid of the mojave to make sure that we don't lose any of the mojave so we're going to get rid of the mojave to make sure that we don't lose any of the mojave