Hasan Piker Ruins The Podcast 

Disney Plus Hulu will make your day every day. Bluey for the kids. The all-new Hulu original series Furious for the second they're down. Good Morning America for your morning. ESPN College Game Day for your Saturday. And Toy Story 5 for a cozy family movie night on Sunday. Make your day every day with Disney Plus Hulu. 18 and older with the Disney Plus Hulu bundle subscription. Access these titles via Disney Plus. Terms apply. Hey, this is Riley Green, and I'm here to warn you about the dangers of Hey Dude Shoes. With their easy-on, all-day comfort, you're bound to get addicted, so try them at your own risk. But when you can't wear anything else, don't say I didn't warn you. How do you want to split it? Actually, dinner's on me. Okay, big money. Well, I got a Venmo balance that I can spend with my Venmo debit MasterCard, so. Well, I Venmo'd you three times last week, so it's kind of on me, actually. Yeah, you send it, I spend it. Did my money get, like, reincarnated? Yeah. Yeah, it's chicken shawarma. Want it back? I can't believe you, like, ate my Venmo. Spend your balance instantly with the Venmo debit card. No monthly fee or minimum balance. Venmo balance account required to get a card and use a balance. A Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. I'm so happy right now. You know why, Shalette? Is because. He's here. Is because my friend. Best. My friend. Best at this point. Maybe even my best friend. I mean, who knows? He's, he's, he's. He's fighting for the position of my basketball buddy. Ahsan Piker is here. What's up, everybody? You got anything silly to say? Something, just say something really out there. I'm here to defend your honor. Oh, now that is something that I'm excited to hear. My goodness. I'm a cool dude. I just. And it's chill to be friends with me. I'm just going to throw it out there. I don't think you talk about Ted Nivison nearly as much as he talks about you and the things you do together. I, I think you're wrong because you're not. I'm just like watching in the morning when I'm first like introducing what I've done throughout the day before I start. Really? Oh, you say I played ball with my friend. Some may say best friend, Ted Nivison. I say I'm balling with my boy Ted Nivison every fucking every, every time we ball. This is, this feels like a victory that I have needed on this podcast for a while. I have been beaten down and, and, and slapped around by my previous best friend. His name is Tucker. It's like every time I get on set, it's like his lips are wet, ready to suckle on the teat that is Jay Schlatt. And I, you know, I'm just looking for some, I'm looking for a victory here right now. You want, you want, I'll take it one step further. Okay. I have on right now what I call a Ted Nivison fit. What? Because the new Ted Nivison, the new Ted Nivison fits are, are, you know, you got the carpenter denim today. I've got the. You got like a cool graphic tee. Usually. I got the Dracula tee on. He likes the shirts. This is a very Ted Nivison fit. Hell yeah. We got Hassan here. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. I'm honored to be here guys. It's a pleasure to be here. This is, I was very upset that you guys did Chuckle Week last time and I was not invited. This has been a long time coming. It's pretty much like before even we were in our basketball routine, Hassan, every time I would see you, you'd be like, it'd be something along, it'd be like, I'm just feeling a little bit offended, Ted. I'm like, you'd like come to me and like confidence, you'd be like, Ted, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just feeling a little sad. I'm like, what, what's wrong with us? I'm gonna be like, you just have never had, you just haven't had me on Chuckle Sandwich just by myself. You know what I mean? Really? Cause we, cause we had you, we had you, both you and Will Neff together on and the first Chuckle Sandwich. And then you invited him back alone and you did not invite me back, which made me feel some type of way for understandable reasons. You're controversial, man. I'm controversial. You're controversial. Yes. I can think of a couple things you've said. I don't know what you're talking about. And last time I racked my brain, I got nothing on my brain. On my record. Yeah. Okay. Well, well. And Ted, he's, he's as clean as they get. I'm worried about him hanging out with you. Listen, I. You getting your grubby little hands on him? Yeah. He's just starts talking about like geopolitical issues. He brought me on his, his stream one time and he had me wear this giant Make America Great Again hat. Oh yeah, I did. Really? Yeah. It was a giant like cowboy. I don't even know. Where did you even get that? Was that sent to you? Uh, that was, uh, I think, I think, uh, Ethan bought it. For H3H3. Oh, okay. And then I just kind of took it home when we, cause I was like, I really like this. I need something to show for this. Yeah, exactly. When I was in college, I had this Reagan Bush 84 shirt. Killer logo. I have the. Killer logo. I have the hat. Tucker, look this up. The, the Reagan Bush campaign in 84. Phenomenal branding. Yeah. They still sell shirts with that logo on it because it just. Oh. It's perfect. Oh. I wore that around college campus one day. Yeah. And, uh, one of the old professors looked at me and said, you know, that's very brave of you. He said that? And I was like, oh, thank you. Yeah. Was the, the college you went to, was that like a particularly liberal school? Isn't all, aren't all colleges. Yeah. That's like every college these days. That's fair. That's fair. What's the, what's the, have you gone, you've gone to schools a lot? Yeah. I was at, I was at USC, uh, giving a speech this past Monday. Yeah. And, and. Yeah. You know, I don't know if anyone has it. A lot of people didn't want you there. Yeah. I got 27,000 letters sent to USC to stop me from speaking. Yeah. On campus. Like physical, like. Like postage? I think it was like a, I think it was like an email campaign that, but that's how they presented it. Yeah. They say it's like a letter ready campaign. It's like a mountain of, of actual postmarked letters. Yeah. That'd be funny. It's almost like. It's like the stencil cutouts. Yeah. Don't let him on. One, one guy licked 80. I mean, uh, 27,000, 27,000, uh, stamps. Wow. USC receives 20 K leverage, purchasing that son's talk on campus. Who do you think was leading the charge there? What do you think was leading the charge there? I know who was leading the charge. It was a, it was a, a Zionist group like pro Israel group that was like, this guy's a really bad news. Like, don't let him on. One of the funniest aspects of it though, was, uh, they said I got banned off Twitch for saying racial slurs, which is true. I did. Did you? Yeah, I did. That was the original. So they didn't put the racial slur that I said. So they tried to make it seem like I was like right wing, I guess. Yeah. And everyone was like, you just busted out with like the N word. Yeah. They're everyone. I mean, luckily the, the professor was a fan and was like, no, this is not happening. Yeah. It is. It is cool though. It is, you know, college campus is too. Whoa. So how many colleges have you visited? Um, not a, not a lot. I mean, I've, I bought, I've been to, uh, Ann Arbor university of Michigan. I've been to a lot of colleges. I've been to, I've been to a lot of colleges. I've been to Ann Arbor university of Michigan. I've been to a bunch. Which one would you say is the most conservative leading or were they all just liberal? They're all liberal. They're all liberal. I think it's entirely dependent on the department because like every college campus, every college campus has like very, very conservative departments specifically like finance or business. Like usually you're going to get some, you're going to get a lot of right wing guys there. Surely they're just fiscally conservative and socially liberal. Like, eh, sometimes, sometimes, but like the more STEM you go to, the more like they become socially conservative as well. You know, at least like amongst the teachers and whatnot, there's a lot of that. So I always thought it was funny when people are like, oh dude, college campus is so liberal. Yeah. It's like when I would go, it's like me, if I went to a Minecraft server, people flip out. They say, no, we can't have you on this Minecraft server. Really? Yeah. Like 27,000 tweets come pouring in, kick him off. Oh, I see what we're referencing right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I cleaned my, I cleaned my image up. Yeah. No, you're a clean boy now. Yeah. You just, you just, if anything, you're probably the most out there shit you say is on this podcast. Yeah. Cause no one fucking watches that. Not after this episode, bro. Here's something I want to talk to you about that I can bring up right now and I'm going to say. How the fuck are you doing this and not getting tired? Cause I know what your schedule is like when we play basketball. Me and my friend Hassan who play basketball. Cause I'll show up there at like 9:00, 9:15. You've already been there since like 8:30 in the morning. Yup. When do you show up? Like 8:00 or 8:30? 8:00 or around 8:30. If I'm feeling a little frisky that day. There was a period where your shit breaks made it so you were coming around the same time as me. Yeah. I'm like, oh, this is normal. I'll come at 9:00 now. Suddenly it shows up at 8:15. I'm like, fuck, I'm late. But either way we play a full thing of basketball, we're tired. He's out of there at 10:00. He is on stream by 11:00 and then you stream for eight hours and then you do it again the next day. And I'm sitting here and I play basketball with Hassan. I'm tired. I'm miserable. I drive home. I'm sweating. I get to my apartment and I like go upstairs. I'm shitting for 45 minutes. I'm in the shower for 45 minutes. I'm laying on my bed being like, what am I going to do today for 45? Like how, how are, how are you doing that? Adderall? No, it's just, I, I run on. i run a shit ton of caffeine and nicotine that's number one and then number two is i'm so brain broken like i i really do love talking about politics so it's not an issue for me at all like i'm so used to that schedule as a matter of fact like i didn't i took this day off so i could do the chuckle sandwich uh podcast that's how much i care about this podcast yeah yeah and my friend ted yes care about him a lot yes wanted that wanted to show up for it yes dude yeah you see that you hear that yeah i'm here to defend his honor there's nothing to cover with that by the way is and tucker you can you can say your theory what say your theory oh well hassan mentioned that you're wearing the ted fit yes we kind of broke this theory the other day ted is in his fashion era oh yeah he is and it kind of lined up right when you guys really started hanging out so i was like wait you know he had the rings i was like i think this is just hassan's fashion that ted's starting to wear he looks good i think that's not the point the point isn't if it's good or not it's just where did it originate and i don't think it originated with you at all we we've barely talked about fashion really it's really like i'll see you have to talk about no but what will happen is i'll see him at a party i remember this happening i think it was like it must have been like brooks birthday party or something like that yeah and and you showed up and i had a honestly pretty similar fit to this yeah and you showed up and you were like that's a good fit that's a good fit and i felt really good about that but it's not like i'm like looking at hassan and i'm like how do i make my fit you're subconsciously just like that and i'm like how do i make my fit work just like that and i'm like how do i make my fit work just like that you're subconsciously just like hassan is doing that for you i saw him wear outfits that i would never think of nor would i have the confidence to wear uh no that's not a bad thing it's just i think it's i think it's different i think that i we can tell the people i entered my fashion era a little bit separately i'm just tired of my friends looking perfectly normal you call me a bimbo and then changing into this flanderized version of them flanderized like i don't know where it comes from yeah it's like uh you know like what they did to you know slimesicle yeah but i don't know what they did to him they turned him into a bimbo yeah oh really like that porno where it's like the you know that that image where the the the girl with like all the textbooks she sees a heel on the floor that's a porno that's a meme she puts well i'm sure some people jerk off to it that does you're like you're like that's been very porn brain lately he's like he's like anything that involves like even an individual woman is a porno that's not a porno isn't it that's not a porno people are jerking off to that you're not telling me people aren't jerking off to that people are people who's people right now that's that's the question where do you look at that you go yowza that's a woman yeah it's like the original was the opposite but it's a woman who's studious she's looking at her book she's like why am i only supposed to she dropped she's like bimbo time i think the earliest version of this is like the 90s rom-com where like the girl the secretary like takes off her glasses and all of a sudden she's hot yeah and honestly you could also respond to the the headline here of the michigan daily where it says bimbo bimbofication is a revolutionary act well people write too much as a revolutionary they gotta stop writing would you say that that's uh would you say that that's correct bimbofication is a revolutionary act i mean i guess it's like self-acceptance maybe that's like probably the angle that they're going society's been holding my bimbo down yeah and i think it's time to to get bimboed up but he's he's aesthetic as hell like he has uh he has like oh they they both look good they both are objectively good looking yeah honestly the last two replies that hasan has like he's replied to the last two stories of my apartment and both times he has said aesthetic and that's it yeah and i started i'm starting to realize the pattern yeah i mean it's true though i think it's true that you got like you got like cool artwork that you place in like a cool way like yeah that's the that's the type of apartment that you you go into and you're like damn this guy this guy's on pinterest you see my place he knows he gets all his furniture ideas from me really yeah um well hold on i got one yesterday from you and you i sent you the link you bought it without even looking at it well yeah because you're like what's that shelf that you have behind your couch well because you sent it to him he's like 10 seconds later bought it well because i needed furniture you figured out the tape measure you measured it for me you basically did all the work for me you really wanted me to get it i like interior design i don't really care as much about fashion this is uh this is a one dollar sixty cent i like your uh shorts though yeah i like my shorts but like the shirt is just gildan this is a one dollar shirt i don't know heavyweight heavyweight the five thousand heavy cotton uh when it's dirty sometimes i'll just throw them out uh no i i respect that i mean i'm doing that right now this is a amazon amazon i bought this on amazon i don't even know what brand it's like it's probably like five all capital letter it doesn't even make sense it's like yeah it's like xiaogua but then you're like what the is this brand like i don't even know what it is it's probably like a rip off of like i assume like a 300 tank top that they're that are making the same factory but with it with almost the exact same materials because like how much variety can you get out of a tank just one of them is white label it's made in portugal instead of yeah instead of vietnam so yeah no i i do that too for sure like i don't think there's any need for you you just gotta have some pieces that complement one i don't like pieces though that's my thing you don't like this this was new this is a new thing for me this year i mean really like since january i started wearing the right i i've tried with watches i can't get into watches i can't i'm definitely not i'm definitely not doing rings yeah i'm definitely not doing rings yeah i'm definitely not doing rings bracelets just feel strange to me i'm not a watch guy at all i don't i don't really i mean it's fine like i get it you're an apple watch guy yeah i have an apple watch but that's only for like fitness related reasons i'll i'll meticulously track uh the amount of calories the ultra i don't know here's the thing though i don't know how accurate it is because we had a friend that was mountaineering do you know how accurate that is because we had a friend that was working on his car yeah he said he burned like 3 000 calories but he's out of shape so is it like skewed because of heart rate how long did he work on the car for i don't know a few hours but if if like a heavy person or an out of shape person goes up the stairs and so does a light person that weighs the same or like not a light person in shape person one of them's out of breath one isn't yeah the person that's out of breath is most likely ex like they're they're demonstrating fatigue higher so they're probably they're probably like the watch tracks it off of your heart rate yeah so obviously it's not going to work but it's going to work it's going to work it's going to work it's going to work it's going to work it's going to work it's going to work it's not like 100 but uh i just use it as like a good like i use it as a good estimate for the most part i don't really i'm not like oh i burned a thousand calories now i can have a thousand calories of food or anything like that that's how i do it yeah that's not how you're supposed to do it oh yeah but don't you love breaking even though and it's like oh i can get a little sloppy no i can't i can order chris and eddie's what is chris and eddie it's a burger place it's delicious i bet when was the last time the last time you had something you enjoyed i had a i i enjoy i enjoy food all the time i i actually recently had i've been looking for a japanese curry place okay in l.a that is like as close to yeah as close to like japanese curry in japan and i found it i'm gonna gatekeep it though sorry sorry sandwich audience disney plus hulu will make your day every day bluey for the kids the all-new hulu original series furious for the second they're down good morning america for your morning espn college game day for your saturday and toy story 5 for a cozy family movie night on sunday make your day every day with disney plus hulu 18 and older with the disney plus hulu bundle subscription access these titles via disney plus terms apply how do you want to split it actually dinner's on me okay big money well i got a venmo balance that i can spend with my venmo debit mastercard so well i've been mode you three times last week so it's kind of on me actually yeah you send it i spend it did my money get like reincarnated yeah it's chicken shawarma who want it back i can't believe you like ate my venmo spend your balance instantly with the venmo debit card no monthly fee or minimum balance venmo balance account required to get a card and use a balance a venmo mastercard is issued by the bank or bank na sometimes i'll like say 10 prayers and then jerk off what to lose weight like what no because like you were saying like you eat like you do you burn a thousand calories then you eat something nice oh it's like it's like religious debt yeah yeah yeah yeah don't yeah oh i see what's going on yeah because you burn a thousand calories and you eat it i thought you were just saying that whatever the i thought you were just saying i thought you just had a moment where you're like we're not talking about me jerking off enough i gotta say this that's what i mean this was relevant yeah no i get i oh i understand the relevancy we unpacked that well it's god debt i get it it's god that yeah it's good yeah are you you're not catholic i'm careful oh yeah oh you are this is a catholic podcast you don't even need to bro you don't even need to like say prayers you just need to accept them yeah i thought you just go to the priest and you're like sorry father i have sinned like i jerked off have you guys done you do you confessions yeah i haven't done confessions in so long that i actually got denied communion at the at the funeral actually wait really so i've told this story on the podcast before but basically it was it was a funeral at a catholic church from my aunt who had died this spring um and there was an option to go up and take communion and i hadn't done in a while but i've gotten confirmed and stuff with the catholic church so i was like all right man's getting buried and stuff i should they should do this is a respectful thing to do i go up there and there's a process when you go and get communion where you say amen that's the process okay yeah you go up the story that's great thank you you get the bread and you say amen okay basically i'm waiting in line and people are saying something he's saying something the priest is saying something and they're saying something back and i'm like holy shit i don't know what i'm actually supposed to say and i'm like trying to listen and i'm leaning in kind of behind i'm like getting up behind my godfather and i'm like trying to you know like hear what he's saying trying to copy his note guy comes up to him he goes the body and blood of christ and i say thanks be to jesus and the guy looks back at me and he's like and i actually i go when i try to reach there's supposed to place in your hand i go and reach for it i reached for it and he's and he holds it back for me the little piece of bread communion bread and he's like have you received before and i was like it's been a while and then he puts it back in the chalice and covers it with his hand and he says uh like may the lord be with you and i'm like okay and i walk away and i got denied communion this guy was a piece of shit though he was balding he looked like he he that's no way to speak of a priest well i know but now we know terrible there are beautiful balding people but this guy was balding in a in a negative way like it was he was balding because he had sinned um or something um and he was like evil looking and he was like he was like egotistical the fact that he was a priest like he was like all right i'm gonna this is my show they didn't even they also it was we wanted to do two eulogies he only let us do one because of like for time and it was like like our family member was dead it says if you're denied communion in the catholic church or maybe because you are not in a state of grace or because you have committed a serious sin and that's the google ai overview wait a minute is this grave sin or excommunication he's not a clairvoyant it's not like he looked into my eyes and saw me kill a kid like like it's just he saw you watching kimmy granger i just didn't i just didn't say i just didn't say the password i just didn't say the right password yes amen yes the most popular word at the entire service okay listen man i thought it was a little bit more complicated because then they've got other monologues wait can you go back to that previous one uh there was something i wanted to read there it is a penalty imposed for very serious matters such as apostasy desecrating the eucharist i'm not i'm not shitting did you desecrate the eucharist no i didn't i'm not basically i'm not no no feces you basically did what you're trying to accept it when you were unfit listen okay the the it's have not confessed like if you haven't gone to confession in a while just when you get in that little box with them if you miss easter you don't go to mass on easter or christmas i think those are the two you have to be there for it might just be easter it might just be easier but yes i go i'll go to service on on the the big ones the big two yeah the big two easter and christmas i'll get my palms i'll get i'll get the little like sorry he's keeping up but if you don't go to there if you don't if you miss those that's a big dude i'm telling you that's a big thing to miss when i get rich i'm gonna buy that church i'm gonna put a chucky cheese where it is i'm gonna break that's not a funny thing to say dude you're getting yeah you're now i get why you got denied communion what are you the amazing atheist that's i'm not i'm agnostic i'm the amazing agnostic that wants to build up the chucky cheese brand you know that there's still 600 chucky cheeses in the united states i have not seen one in a very long time i don't know there must be a state where they're just hoarding all of them or something it's the the five burn the burner states yeah the burner states the ones that have the nuclear silos so they just you think that there's 600 chucky cheeses out there yeah they just they have it in the in the five states that are the uh the the nuclear silos that are considered the nuclear sponge imagine living in fucking montana and then you see a tiktok where the guy's like hey by the way the american government considers you to be a sponge for nukes that's why we put the silos there so they don't get so that like the big city centers don't get hit i mean if you if it makes sense no i get it yeah it's like wyoming montana colorado i think uh and then two other states that i don't even fucking remember they get their two senators but they also get their nukes yeah yeah you're you're just you're just sitting there you're like oh i love going to chucky cheese why are there like eight chucky cheeses in the same mall nukes and my running on floppy disks you gotta type in 4 8 15 16 23 42 every every hour yeah but i guess the launch but yeah i guess i i guess i'm a bit of a sinner or whatever but you know at least you're not gonna get fucking nuked i still think that i choose to live my life in an honorable way so if there was a spirit or some sort of higher entity out there i think i would be treated somewhat favorably i think i i try to do best in my life were you raised religious in any shape or form no wikipedia said you were raised muslim we looked at your page yeah i am but like not muslim in the he's catholic you know what i mean okay which which which uh denomination of islam sunni yeah most turks which one is that is that the uncle or the son uh it's i think it's the son i don't know i don't even know because the whole thing the whole thing is when muhammad died there was like two sex that broke off one was like the son or like grandson or something of muhammad and the other was like the uncle or brother or something of that's the she is yeah but i uh i don't even know uh but it's just that's the majority of turks for the most part are sunni muslims okay yeah gotcha i liked how you said that what sunni sunni yeah that's how you say it so how do you say your name accurately hasan doan picar hasan no no ha yeah i've never i've never cared like i know i know right so it doesn't really matter to me i feel like picar is picar yeah picar is not like an incredibly difficult last name to say no it's not it's it's also one that my grandfather chose because it was like a revolution care this is what people would end up saying i think the og last name is but that's like a very common last name he's like son of big kid uh and and who is bk i don't know some guy i think the arabic won't pronounce it oh i'm good thank you no you're not i drove a little bit you're gonna be here for like three more hours man yeah the benedictine drink from the chalice of truth this is the this is the fountain of youth right here that actually doesn't taste bad at all oh yeah it's my favorite it's my favorite neat dude very good yeah it's his apple juice i get that yeah but yeah um i don't know if i'm going to be able to do any of this but i'm going to be able to do any of this but i'm going to be able to do any of this um i think the arabic version um i think the arabic version um i think the arabic version of it is bucket oh um and then like abu of it is bucket oh um and then like abu of it is bucket oh um and then like abu yeah exactly like that yeah exactly like that yeah exactly like that i'm a bucket uh al-baghdadi i'm a bucket uh al-baghdadi i'm a bucket uh al-baghdadi like the terrorist like the terrorist like the terrorist sorry i'm sorry very popular guy it's sorry i'm sorry very popular guy it's sorry i'm sorry very popular guy it's just it came out it came out just it came out it came out just it came out it came out i'm not saying that we both got one strike yeah no we definitely i didn't even take offense to that because uh you know you know why i think of it though i think of it i think of abubakar abagdadi because of the shmoyoho songify the news where there's the part where they go abubakar abagdadi abubakar abagdadi okay that's now i'm taking it back you're not helping you're not helping no no because it's just news segments that they're like that they're i know what they're using melodigm you don't like you don't appreciate what you notice i'm just fucking around well you're stressing me out as my basketball buddy yeah i'm trying i'm trying to defend you ted i know you are and i'm just talking about singing about abubakar abagdadi man yeah yeah how long are you out here for slat uh until we film with and then i leave oh nice okay yeah when is this episode going to come out we don't know what the order of these episodes are going to be okay we're thinking at least four weeks now yeah it's it's so the podcast is going to end after this oh really yeah i'm retiring busy schedule you got why are you retiring um you lazy because i spent i spent too much time on this it's such a funny and i'm tired where we are some of the most like we're some of the most privileged people on the fucking planet dude it's crazy i think about that a lot where i'm like we're so goddamn lucky i have been interested in what he means when he says that he's going to retire you're 25 yeah you just started you just finished cooking cooking yeah your brain like you just grew up i want to try something new yeah what do you what yeah what does that mean what are you gonna try i don't know and figure it out yeah like i don't know like what like polo like the horse riding game maybe tennis play tennis maybe ssx tricky you you have been trying that you ever played that game no you ever have a gamecube growing up no i did not oh well if you're looking to if you're looking to know how quality a gamecube was you can check out tucker keen's new video the everlasting charm of the gamecube which is probably an older video now there might even have a video new video out after that at this point but he just finished his second video ever on youtube congratulations thanks can you say that wait can you do that again but act like you care congratulations there you go oh my god i appreciate that i appreciate that yeah was that good yeah no that was good i'm a professional okay you can cut that you can fucking slap on whatever you want i got it yeah put like one of those like that kawaii like the good cut and i'll put that as a short yeah and that'll be my advertisement right there there you go there it is yeah what's what's the name of your channel dr keen my name okay he's rocking the same situation i did disney plus hulu will make your day every day bluey for the kids the all-new hulu original series furious for the second they're down good morning america for your morning espn college game day for your saturday and toy story 5 for a co-op cozy family movie night on sunday make your day every day with disney plus hulu 18 and older with the disney plus hulu bundle subscription access these titles via disney plus terms apply how do you want to split it actually dinner's on me okay big money well i got a venmo balance that i can spend with my venmo debit mastercard so well i venmo'd you three times last week so it's kind of on me actually yeah you send it i spend it did my money get like reincarnated yeah it's chicken shawarma want it back i can't believe you like ate my venmo spend your balance instantly with the venmo debit card no monthly fee or minimum balance venmo balance account required to get a card and use a balance a venmo mastercard is issued by the bank or bank na hey this is riley green and i'm here to warn you about the dangers of hey dude shoes with their easy on all day comfort you're bound to get addicted so try them at your own risk but when you can't wear anything else don't say i didn't warn you dude i i think honestly we up like if i had the opportunity to go back in time and like use a alternate name and maybe not even show my face i'd probably do it really you'd be a faceless youtuber or potentially yeah would you be a vtuber i guess like i could do a vtuber style political commentary that'd be real unique you'd make way less money though really vtubers make a lot of money i feel like there's recent evidence to show that vtubers can be very successful yeah iron mouse iron mouse just passed the most subscribed channel no one's gonna take a cartoon talking about well that's a person well if they're not a cartoon politics what are you gonna have a vtuber on tucker carlson yeah no imagine imagine you're in one of those rectangles on on one of the news networks just like bro i think i think the fact that they invited me to the dnc or did like a documentary where i was featured on cnn alone is insane i'm a freaking twitch streamer who the fuck knows about what that is you know what i mean so maybe i could do that for v tubing i don't know i would argue that like twitch and online space like isn't it like youtube is like one of the top streaming platforms now like in terms of like actual uh space in the in in the streaming space overall like youtube has like a sizable chunk yeah yeah i mean i feel like i make it i feel like as the years go on our jobs are going to become like we're so used to saying that like we're we're like f-tier celebrities or whatever but the people that probably come after us are probably going to have way more sort of pull than i mean tv networks will be dead yeah it'll be it'll be like a whole different ball game you know you both of you are now old like you're kind of old now and i get noticed way more than i want to yeah outside yeah you know which is zero times i'm glad i did because i think i was reaching the end of my shtick uh being a voice playing minecraft yeah open a lot of doors but oh yeah the amount of stuff that you've done with when since you face was real it's been huge yeah and i've kept these on my face for years and years and years so when i retire soon and i shaved them off are you gonna shave them off when you retire then i'll be unrecognizable and i can walk around freely brilliant yeah it's smart are you actually gonna shave them off when you retire oh yeah yeah they're coming off yeah no one will notice you because you're so uh unnoticeable as a presence exactly that's gonna be like that's just a six foot five dude yeah just like anybody else dude i can't imagine what it's gonna be like you better send me a photo when you shave them off i'll be gone man what do you mean i'll delete my discord account i mean it's it's i'm logging off pretty much for good i don't believe that well you're not gonna talk to me anymore after you retire no i don't believe that either such a fucking insane fucking why cold thing to say what's insane because i we're friends i colleagues oh my god that's that hurts is this crazy that's a bit crazy it is what's crazy about it what do you mean who we work together we most of our time is spent together working work we disqualifies us as colleagues he bought your furniture that you suggested that's not colleague behavior that's friend behavior yeah that was a business expense what about pub g what about pub g we played it once that's because that's how we could get you in when you're when you're retired you have a lot of free time that's true we'll have a lot daisy yeah i will need people to play daisy with but we'll have to like we'll do some role play where we meet each other new and like you don't know you pretend like you don't know why you make it so you want to re-meet me and then come by my government name and okay what happened why oh i mean i get it i get why uh you want to do some other shit but i just doubt that you're gonna quit cold turkey no i i think my retirement looks like me screaming daisy and uh you're gonna pull an ninja doing my call of duty commentary here's what i think it is can i can i say what my theory is why is it's less of a retirement and more of a release from from his feeling like it's a release from a certain feeling that schlatt is dealing with right now which is that he has to do what works as opposed to what he wants so he's so in in him making this retirement thing it's like he is breaking his chains you know it's like that chain breaking image you know would you say that that's generally accurate yeah but i'll still be reacting oh yeah oh thank god i gotta pay the bills yeah no i was that's why i was saying you're not gonna fucking stop no i'll be reacting i was also asking for my sanity you know what i mean i was like yeah is he still gonna look at people's rooms and review them tick tocks and first tick tock yeah what could you do without those yeah yeah but like stuff like this where it's like a recurring project like chuckle sandwich is not something that is i don't think you're it's not like a lot yeah it's not like my long-term yeah plan yeah it's not like we're i don't think there wasn't anything that went wrong with chuckle sandwich right now it's like okay why are you guys talking about it like something i feel like i feel like a divorce is happening my mom and dad are divorcing i'm in the fucking dinner table it's not like something really bad happened and then it can't be solved at all i mean it's not like something so so horrible so tragic so uh was i responsible i'm sorry that's okay i mean i mean what about you we go way back like there's no bad blood here i taught you how to jerk off yeah he did he taught me how to jerk off and we and we and we both came at the same time like the disney intro you came a little before that's why the the fireworks come up a different but i will say that first challengers mom probably sent me over the edge yeah that was just making out dude this is much more than challengers yeah and there was no chick there was no chick just straight just straight up gay shit yeah i respect it no discovery okay and what about you what about me what do you think you would retire i'm not retired i'm fucking dying on camera probably that's crazy yeah like larry king he didn't really die on camera but we used to joke about that is he no he's dead died recently he died like a couple years ago yeah larry king is dead yeah me and my uncle used to me and my uncle wait he's dad of larry david wait he died in 2021 a couple years ago he i swear to god he was still doing his little podcast he fucking loved it dude he lived for it i mean this motherfucker was like on roku at the by the end of his career it's like roku i i don't know what he was on but you know what i mean it was like one of those he was on queeby or some shit where you're like dude just give it up you have like a gorillion dollars guys it's for the love of the game i'm just finding out that larry king spouses yo freda miller mtk aline atkins wait me two different times they got married mickey's uh did he did he switch it up uh sharon lapore julie alexander sean southwick wait sean you turn gay right at the end it could be a woman sean oh that's old let's not assume the gender that's old school back in the day look up sean southwick okay that was 20 years back in the day women used to be named like men names oh that's some old shit that's all i told you damn she's a yeah how's she dead too no she's 64. she's fucking living good right now she's living la vida loca with the fucking larry she's the one who landed on the they divorced no yeah yeah two years before he died really missed out he's got five children dude she could have held off for two extra years well they were married for 20 years though married 1997 separated in 2019 dude oh he died from covid he married and divorced this chick twice yeah they tried it they tried it for two years and then they tried it for five years make it work dude that's a lot of people to take half your money over and over again he just kept running into it he seems like the kind of guy to make it get a you know get a prenup yeah he seems like a prenup kind of guy probably buy the eighth one after the third one he's like he's like hmm bro that's so many marriages like at a certain point you gotta be like all right this is not working out man can you imagine being active from slack can you imagine being active from 1957 to 2021 i haven't been active one year in my life he's got he's got too much jerk off that dude he's gotta yeah yeah he's gotta praise god um but yeah he just like he really loved it you know that was his that was his whole thing he's just like i don't give a fuck where you put me put a camera in front of me and i will chirp and it and is that not kind of like the same sort of thought process that maybe like i don't know like joe biden had yeah he probably just loves it yeah he loves it so much he really does he those are the two things he loves being president in israel those are the two things that he loves the most and and my god he's gonna do it he's gonna do both i just can't imagine being a politician like that like to be i feel like in terms of content or like the online space you're probably the closest thing to being a politician i'm sorry to say yeah in case that upsets you well because i feel like a whole a big part of the politician is like as opposed to like someone who's just like mainly in entertainment is that like you are like really putting yourself to like opening yourself up to like the full vitriol of like the human condition like people hate like people will take their life position and where they are in their life and they will be like oh my god i don't know what to do with it like this is your fault yeah you know no for sure in some ways no you're absolutely right and in some ways i feel like people do that even more with like twitch streaming which is funny because like i play no role in anybody's life i'm not legislating but because they can't actually reach the politician well you can reach me by just like waiting 10 minutes after following me in my chat so they unload everything onto me as though i'm the one responsible for it yeah so yeah you're not wrong they do do that a lot and um i'll just catch strays randomly from random fucking people who are just like fuck this guy yeah it feels like the most unreasonable way to go to try to make money like people who go into politics to like you know get nancy pelosi's making some good trades recently well i know but like the trades and stuff not even recently but it's like i don't know that seems like a bit of a stressful way to try to make money you know i think the money comes after i think the love of the game starts it you think so no i think a lot of these people are free like straight up like i think they're just like gross little cretins that are like i love power yeah oh i love having it and then they just like like they got bullied in high school and it's like wait till i take away your rights yeah i i don't like i don't think that any of them i mean some of them maybe got in it for the love of the game and then very quickly they find out like oh no this is gonna work i got a taste of this power and i like it but um yeah no i i think that they're mostly gross little freaks oh i hate them all of them a lot of most of them who's your favorite politician andrew yang no fuck that i mean he's also he's also a loser you know what i mean why has he been on chuckle week or something what the fuck he follows me on twitter he follows me too yeah yeah i'm whatever look up andrew yang chicken soup he probably follows like he's probably one of those follow for follow guys though he probably has like thousands of people that he follows like he's probably one of those andrew yang chicken soup he probably has like thousands of people that he follows like why do you see this is what i mean bad instinct bad instincts dog why you post that that's why he lost the mayoral race in new york that's some chunky chicken soup too there's three forks in it i mean when you look at the amount of chicken in there you do need to definitely well he definitely put that chicken out and was like shit i gotta shred this up so he's got he's got a lot of chicken a couple feet wait there's my minecraft skin the love life of jay schlatt andrew yang and a bowl of chicken is this a video essay wow how many episodes this person doing to me when did they stop when they realized that the algo was not picking it up i suspect generic leftist variety youtuber wow yeah there's a lot of posting here wait she said why i left the left hold up oh no they didn't leave left they they're talking about how you can support palestine wait google put the in the search bar hassan i want to see you in youtube or google no no on the on the search on the channel on the search bar of their channel uh oh wait nah that doesn't look like it doesn't look like it yeah never mind like sorry man you you occupy the space in in more meaningful ways than i do how do you feel about being a political content creator you know and here's the thing i think i got a taste of the power and i when we did our socialism versus communism debate oh like that for example or generally just like i guess the power of being a youtuber or someone with millions and millions of subscribers and okay flags like walking around the only thing i experience from it is just it's negative and i don't enjoy any of the baggage that comes along with it and i think that the sooner i can go back to being like uh like just a guy that could walk around new york city without feeling like people's eyes are locking on to me and who's going to come up to me and be weird and poorly socially adjusted to me today you know what you should do you should just start kissing those people no that would no because then that would make things a lot worse don't look at him he's gonna kiss you that make things a lot worse for me like make it be like a bad kiss like a hard kiss nothing sloppy like like like i don't think he's gonna i don't think he's gonna start was he's gonna kiss him too good like like go like this like tighten your lips tighten your lips and just and then just kind of headbutt him but call it a kiss i like where he's going with this dude have you tried yeah no you tried that you thought about that assaulting your fans just think about it and maybe sexually nobody ever listens to my ideas on this part i don't think i've ever thought about doing anything about it anything with my fans instead it's so frustrating nobody ever listens my god i think i think the saddest way to go out as a youtuber or any kind of i just feel like it's a really good idea for you to try to kiss all your friends it's just like grad is like trying to cling on to the life like suck every last drop out of the hype you have until it slowly burns out and it's like when it comes to something like chuckle sandwich we did it it's been four years like yeah it's only downhill from here after this so let's just end it in a good spot or yeah yeah and there's nothing wrong like like i said this on it i thought that after you could just take it you had to jerk off and like there's no bad blood between us and what no nothing nothing nothing don't worry about nothing at all i'm just saying that after after after you're done with all this you can just like hang out yeah we're still gonna be buddies and i i don't think it's gonna be i think i'm honestly i have a suggestion okay okay are you ready for this uh-huh have you thought about wearing jewelry oh now that is a great question for him that i've been trying do you want me to try that put that on for a second london put that on does that make you feel this one doesn't fit that's gonna stay on forever yeah no that's a there's a pinky ring no i don't think this is like i don't think this is me you know right this one on okay i have another question follow-up question what if i were to present you with an opportunity to play basketball no 8 a.m in los angeles every morning on certain days of the week you play basketball and throughout that journey you find yourself you find yourself in love with the sport you find yourself to be a new man you know you start getting more physically fit you start maybe wearing clothes that uh you you really start are you dunking on my gildan 5000 no absolutely not no it's it's fire i'm just saying that like um okay that was a that was a little disrespectful the way was that i'm sorry you tossed that you really hate the rings bro yeah he does he does there was a period of chuckle where i was when i was adding more more and more to my fucking email on his fingers no chain mail basically but i had there was a period where i had like i was going like one two like three one two crazy crazy like three like i was like i was like six seven sometimes rings on my fingies everyone goes through that phase i think yeah and then you realize you go a little overboard with it and then you gotta dial it back exactly like porn addiction yeah yeah you brought up porn quite a bit before we started you were literally watching porn back there behind the television screen i was showing austin this video where the acting was absolutely electric to refer to a porn video as being absolutely electric is like it was before the porn even started and you well tucker look this up for me no no we've talked about this no we were we're putting an embargo on your point look up there's no more porn so you you brought up like that that was my work porn it was my first introduction to this week of chuck a week uh and then after that you brought up the fact that you jerk off but then you you know say and hail mary no i say the prayers first oh you say the prayers first you gotta understand me for what i'm about to do yeah i'm beginning to recognize there's a trend here with respect to how much porn consumption is going on in your life i think my retirement yeah you're like it's gonna be a beautiful it's gonna be a beautiful retirement okay so look i all i can think about is youtube whether it's you know whether it's making reaction videos now all you want to think about is you porn or making really like well-acted high-energy videos where the girl is like she looks really happy and wants to be there okay oh so you want to you want to make porn no i want to make call of duty commentaries and play daisy on stream and stuff i think that's like i i would i would want that to be going through my head in this sort of do you feel as though you want to be where the people you used to watch are now ninja no i mean like the p like like sea nanners yeah is that like sort of like in terms of the lifestyle they live of like this sort of like the peak has passed i think it is more peaceful it's it's less uh stress which is something i have terribly high blood pressure i'm not healthy you think that you have high blood pressure because you're stressed that certainly adds to it yeah i have it because my hd medicine okay another suggestion hear me out 8 a.m in the mornings where you go i'm not playing basketball are you in los angeles you're too tall for no good reason come on man i was a baseball player you know i was a pitcher i was a first baseman with our schedule we could technically make it i'm not playing basketball with you would you at least just come and watch no i i i'm i'm sensing a lot of dare i say hostility towards this otherwise very good idea this is my least favorite place in the world man yeah yeah i mean i understand i'd rather be like asleep than playing basketball tucker's interested in playing basketball hell yeah let's go i think i just got forced into it okay i like that we'll get jay slat on too you always call me that you always hate that my full government name you played soccer one time on a stream did i yeah i did i they made me do that was he good it was great it was fast i was violent he was violent violent that's what i want to see i want to see the intensity yeah i'm tired now that's my thing you're 25 dude i'm tired i was i was shocked you should see hassan out there he's our here he is with everyone anytime he's on the side of something that doesn't go his way on the court he's like i got fouled okay oh you totally fouled me dude that was such a foul i didn't realize where slander was on the menu oh no trust me no because uh who's the other guy we play with uh the the kid is that no not the kid though the one time no no the writer oh oh yeah he's uh he's yeah i mean i'm not gonna leak his information or anything yeah but he's uh he's he usually whatever whenever you're complaining like and you're not looking he'll look at me and be like yeah it's because i cook him no no no because yeah because because it'll be there was like this one time that his son was like coming around and i was just standing there and then he and he was like you're allowed to do a illegal pick like that and i was like i didn't even know you were coming and you're just making up you're making new rules i don't know where i bet that he uses his debating skills in the arguments he does no he does you're on a you were on an educational journey you did a moving screen i was no i didn't do it i wasn't trying to okay i was not there with my hands i played basketball for like five years i know what a moving screen is i was not do i was i was i was boxing someone else out okay and you were trying to get by see this look at this you can tell he's like he's he's got a passion for the game of basketball but it's like he'll for like you know he'll get it'll get really intense but then he'll forget about it like a day later like it never happened like it's like very much so like it's like when you enter the court it's like a it's like a different zone yeah it's like the like or like the simpsons dome for me for me basketball or any kind of physical activity it plays that role though like i get to reset you know what i mean i just don't think about anything else i'm just working out and so is that how politics are to you is politics just another game of basketball maybe i never thought about it like that interesting no i mean it's just i i do i do greatly enjoy covering politics that's just it it's up maybe i wish i had i wish i had schlatt's interest in in reacting to you know creepypasta tiktok videos but you do you do a good job at watching you do a lot of reactions you've reacted to some of my stuff well i don't i don't necessarily have enough time nowadays to do that but like that was good man my schedule is opening up soon how about this we switch our reaction content you do politics i do yeah yeah yeah i'll send you like a batch of a hundred funny tick tocks okay and then you watch it and then i post it to my channel i do i do need that and then you give me your stream key and i'll go live and like do whatever the amount of havoc that you could you could do well being live on his stream key is uh that's a lot yeah that's a lot yeah we just but you do it in a straight face like you're literally like this is the official sanctioned hasan i'll be broadcast coming to you live from new york i'm gonna you know and then and just go off on whatever you want to do whatever you want to talk about you gotta have like a you gotta have like a bunch of tabs open though you gotta have at least 50 tabs open to different news articles you gotta have them all loaded up too we we do already have a shared interest in 9 11. why do you think i'm interested in that i just wanted to pause on it so hassan i don't know if you know this but as a native new yorker yeah that's uh that's it that's a story subject i know a little bit a little bit and if i remember correctly you said that i deserve that you did you said that did he say that can we look this up josh wait can you bring that up why do you think that's like an interest of mine 9 11. if it comes up in the tick tocks it upsets me yeah we are watching we all have our hyper fixations you know tucker google hassan america deserved 9 11 dude whoa did you know i said that yeah no that's all we needed to hear tucker right there that's i mean lock it in lock it in no need for expansion with that dude's eye well that's just a villain he's a war veteran don't hear about don't wait what was don't keep playing the video what did we do what did we do to deserve it what did my dad do and my uncle you know my uncle was a first responder firefighter for the fdny is he uh still alive yes thank god that's good he might not be soon because he worked on the the pile for months after you know they called it the pile is that what they called it they called it the pile that's where the buildings fell the pile of rubble and and bodies and airplane now we're now we're definitely getting on the news what are you laughing about no nothing i'm not tucker is this funny no dude 1.8 million tons of wreckage left from the collapse of the world trade center that's a lot of i would never i would never find uh humor in this this is there's nothing funny about it no i agree two thousand nine hundred ninety seven people lost their lives that day actually yes like down to the i thought it was in the three thousands no no it is two thousand something but it's close to three thousand how many there were just three three shy of three thousand that's crazy geez that was a hundred percent damn see hyper fixation i was right damn do they count the people that hijacked it in this number yeah they always do that they do that with like school shootings too they'll be like five dead it's like well the guy that did it it says that two thousand nine hundred and seventy seven is not including the uh 19 hijackers no way wait what the if they include the hijackers is three thousand plus no it's not oh no it's not you're right it's too shy i thought it was yeah that's crazy okay a bunch of fucking math wizards in here my bad okay jesus christ that's a lot i mean that's crazy yeah yeah 9 11 was pretty crazy yeah 9 11 though yeah my mom sent this to me a couple weeks ago on the day oh on the day this is what the text said hassan in 2001 she sent you a text no i know the the anniversary oh my dad has gone 28 years today hard to believe that in 23 years since 9 11. you were at your two-year-old checkup that day still remember having you in the car and listening on tit what what what dude i'm just listening what oh oh you're chuckling though have some respect still remember having you still laughing you see that he's still laughing you guys are funny people that's kind of up dude i'm not gonna lie oh well you can't speak what what i'm still remembering saying he deserved that i was not dancing on the rooftops of new jersey you were dancing on the rooftops of new jersey fox news you can run that this is what people keep saying trump said it too still remember having you in the car and listening on 10 10 wins as the towers collapsing as we drove i was crying he made his mom cry dad was in the city i Didn't do 9/11 you made his mom cry. I really didn't know what to do Remember that like it was yesterday Wow, and then I didn't respond Just say love you mom or something. Just throw out something. No, his follow-up is like a week later. He was like, hey, uh, I Forgot to get groceries or some shit The next day hello Okay, can I have $20 Do your parents do this as well? Like my mom I think it's like a generational thing But like they just don't know how to text kind of like that text message almost where it'll be Like I need to talk to you right now period And I'm like, yeah and immediately like and immediately I think like there's a massive emergency Please call me back. Yeah Do you have anyone in your family who uses dot dot dots to separate yes Because that's the OG here's a correct way to piece of knowledge texts used to cost 25 cents each Yeah So you or 10 cents each on Verizon or whatever fucking service they had? So yeah, just bunch up the thoughts in one text. Yeah, and my uncle still text like that sends like 10 different thoughts Separated only by ellipses. Yeah, it's I don't know if it's that no, no I think I think it is that it's totally that it's like our generation We text like we will just like hit send hit send hit send hit send to separate like even words sometimes I'm on text pretty normally now But I definitely think it was because they just wanted to emphasize their pauses. I think that they were like Saw Paula today Her son Alex is doing well Why is she trying to be ambiguous or mysterious about like that's what I that's just how they talk That's just how that generation speaks it. I don't think that I I don't know if they know how it's read I I have to pee by the way. That's like not a not a joke. We just watch we just ended here You just want the podcast to be over. No, I just need to pee I want to come back and let him go we can't on 9/11. No like that. Okay, we'll let you pee that Okay, I didn't want to take my shirt off on the When it was cut, okay, here comes no continuity purposes, you know, yeah, of course there it is There it is. Wow. I've yet to figure out a sexy way to take it off I feel like people do it and then they look hot while they're doing it there's one that I'll never do but You grab it. Yeah What like that's fake no one I've never in my life thought about taking my clothes off. Yeah, it's just a sexy thing I do that You're only at that point if you're doing it like that, you're only wearing the shirt Well, well, I do that because I feel like it's the it's the best way to do it without like stretching the collar of the Shirt get the fuck no here No, we just want to look fuckable I do it by myself I'm doing it by myself Practicing I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel good I feel like you'd be yeah if you have to practice because the first time you try to do it with like with a lady friend you're gonna Fuck up. If you fuck up, it's gonna be you're not getting pussy He doesn't even know how to take off What is this you blame as it gets stuck on your head you look good and then your arms are stuck in the new fall That would be terrible. Um speaking of 9/11 Okay, last time I was on a podcast with a friend I got ambushed by his mom Oh also about 9/11 shouts out the Jeff Wittek I did his I did his podcast and he grilled me his barbershop thing where he cuts your hair No, that was that was anymore. That was a separate one. I've done that as well. He's that would have been This is podcast. Yeah, okay, that would have been a little bit more worrisome If he if he had a razor to my fucking neck Yeah, especially if you're in the barbershop part where they start doing the Shave yeah, this guy is his second-in-command showed me his micro penis. Oh That was fun. How micro was it? It's very much. I don't think that it's just micro, you know, like what? Well, she's talking. What is my girl? Is it like that? Like my half my thumb? Yeah, what really is crazy. Surely. He's a grower dad Dude to what to like a normal flaccid penis? Yeah. I mean, that's the thing it you never really get a sense for For the I don't think there was much more out there Anyway, I've never seen a penis in real life like in person. Yes No, I just I don't think I've ever been in a you've never seen oh, I've seen mine like I'm talking about any any Like any one else. Oh, you're saying in real life in real life. Wait a minute. Yeah Have you not either? Yeah, no real life person. I've never ever seen another man's Yeah, and I've been to an orgy I Didn't actually purchase what was happening there. You just watching I didn't participate cuz I didn't know what was gonna be an orgy It was a in the Hamptons My friend is like from there straight up like grew up in. Mm-hmm. Grew up in Montauk. Oh, yeah, and he was like, oh there's a party Happening tonight. Let's go and I was like sure why not? I was just visiting him I think was like Labor Day weekend one of those fucking looking at you cuz you know this stuff. It's New York Yeah, you know about the New York orgies Yeah So I didn't realize it was gonna be like that and then people are just like getting in the pool and stuff and it was like one of these houses where they had like literally It was like a rich person's house where like all of the fucking fridge is stocked completely and they even had like baskets separately for like bathing suits and Like neatly arranged towels and shit like they had thought about all this and I didn't think much of it at first but then I saw people like changing and Then going in the pool. Hmm, and then it got like people started making out stuff and I was like, all right It's time to leave. Yeah. Yeah, this is not my this is not my speed, especially because like I've talked about this before but You think it's gonna be like eyes wide shut like it's like all models and like cool camera Angles and writing is perfect is not just a bunch of ugly There's just yeah, it's not it's not like as hot as you would picture it Yeah, you gotta go up to the North Fork for the hot ones. Yeah. Yeah, Riverhead. I don't know, you know, I guess Peconic Bay Boulevard, but my point is I didn't even see a wreck penis there now that I think about it All right. Yeah, I see that's surprising to me I've seen flaccid penises like quite a bit But I've never seen it a wreck one actually never thought about that well Man Hassan it was so great to have you here. This is everything you dreamed It would be everything and more really? Yeah. Was there anything that surprised you? Um, what was your rose and thorn my rose and thorn? I Mean the vibes are a little off I'll say that what? But I but I feel like it why the vibes off the vibes were a little off and it made me feel like it's deliberate so I could Tell when they shifted. Yeah you I Didn't bring up did I bring up? You brought it up. I brought it we were talking about basketball before. Okay. Yeah, we were talking about basketball And then you were like, well, I don't think we're talking about 9/11 enough the thing that America deserved. Yeah No, the vibes were off before some piquette the vibe why'd you what you put some stink on it like I Said it correctly. I saw him piquette. Yeah, but uh, Uh, no, the vibes were a little off even before then but I think that's like deliberate That's by design. That's what it felt like. Mm-hmm. It's all about design over here. Yeah, that's what I this is like this hot sweaty room It's hot sweaty room. This is make to you make meant to make you feel on it. That was my design So, yes, I wanted that shirt off. Yes Yeah, so you were only towards the end, but this is gonna be good for your viewer retention Yeah, try it. Well, I Don't know. Maybe it's time. We retire it Surely not really not we need to know the information Hassan would you rather have unlimited bacon? But no more video games or games unlimited games But no games Unlimited games, but no games. Hmm, which would you rather have unlimited unlimited? Unlimited games, but no games is the second part of that question. Okay, that's on Podcast you've been asking for a while. Come on if we're gonna ask you one little final question I just would expect that you would answer it. Don't you do being crystal-clear with you right now? I'm which would you rather commentators just like just choose one. Are you the best at having opinions? Isn't that what that's the question again? Sure. Yeah, it's fine. I Thought it was pretty Chris. I thought it was crystal-clear I sound would you rather have games? unlimited games games unlimited wait See I'm rusty now. I'm fucking it up You got it you got it some would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more video games or games unlimited games but no games see well we'll see what's it what is this I don't know what the problem is what is this that you're doing see the question is a little bit more easy give me the raid question the raid yeah right me there a little bit that doesn't smell as bad as I thought it would so what would you rather have it's a binary it's a binary option you know I'm gonna go with fuck it I'm gonna go with unlimited games but no games how come that one I would yeah why is the answer to this question gonna determine what you do tomorrow is it the raid um and while you guys I'm taking your sins away so you can't no you can't double up I need that I need it so bad um why do I want unlimited games with no games it doesn't make any sense to me so I chose that one oh okay oh so you you often so you take the opinion that makes no sense that's what you're saying regularly it's interesting sometimes I I do it for fun other times I also do it for fun and if you had to choose what part of the chocolate sandwich you are which would what would you be you chose one in the past but me the meat okay you're not allowed to have that that's already been chosen what the fuck why not because Charlie is the meat our third member our third member who tragically died in a white phosphorus accident yeah okay well fucking I want to be the meat now you can be a certain type of meat on top yeah you can choose a specific type of meat I'll be the bacon the unlimited bacon unlimited bacon that's interesting you chose that yeah you didn't chose that you don't have that that's off the table that's the one thing you don't have that's actually specifically you don't have that okay I would rather be the aioli okay what type of aioli sriracha sriracha aioli okay I'll take it I'll take it well thanks for being here Ahsan thanks for having me on another episode of chuckle chum cool sandwich don't I'm wet now you Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We play medical doctors who are besties. Just like in real life. And we'll definitely be up in each other's cases. Scrubs premieres Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. Hello, Superman. Hello. Look what TJ Maxx dragged in. The Devil Wears Prada 2 is now streaming on Disney Plus and Hulu. We are digital. We are downloadable. We are streamable. The fashion event of the year is certified fresh. Pull yourself together. We have work to do. Critics say it's smart and witty. And the perfect sequel. That's all. Get runway ready for The Devil Wears Prada 2 on Disney Plus and Hulu. Rated PG-13. Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35. $35 on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. 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