125: Harry Styles & Franz Kafka

Direct from the Broski Nation Headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. I am for him and deep in his gym, and let me do it again. I am for that sounded timid, as he could if he was nervous, as he could if he got a little nervous, sometimes I am full man deep in his gym, as he could, when he lets the scouts accent slip. I am for him and I am full man deep in his gym, I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full man deep in his gym, and I am full have two types of arteries that have slightly different functions. Both have a role in carrying the oxygen-rich blood from your heart to your body's tissues. The first type is elastic, and that's like when a football player catches the ball absorbing the force from the throw. This is the type that gets your blood from your heart before passing it on to other arteries, so it's like sucking it out of me. The second type muscular is like when they run down the field with the ball, getting it to where it needs to go. These sports analogies, okay, do you have one for girls? Okay, I'm a girl, I comment under the article, I'm a girl, I'm not understanding this. Can you put it in terms of like makeup and shopping and period? This is your blood going to your body's tissues. The two types of arteries are elastic and muscular. Yeah, we fucking established that. Thank you, Cleveland. Thank you, Rizler. Okay, so you do have arteries all throughout your body. You have major arteries, and now that's making sense because sometimes when they talk about blood clots, they talk about the arteries in your legs. And I had to actually, I should know this, I'm an idiot, I had to have an ultrasound on some of my veins in my legs because I thought it was, I used to have this like twitching problem in my right leg, it's always something, it's always bullshit, I used to have this ticking problem in my right leg that I thought had something to do with my sciatica, and who fucking knows? Because I also went in, when I got my scan, an ultrasound on the major arteries throughout my body, they did it on the huge one that goes down the inside of your leg, and they put the ultrasound gel on and everything, it was so weird. I was like, this is the closest I'm ever going to get to a real ultrasound because I'm not having kids, bro, like I'm not doing that to myself too. So I went in for that, and they were also like we're going to do, and not an MRI, maybe a CAT scan, and when they did that, they found that I have a herniated disc in my back. So not only, I have a herniated disc that I think is causing my sciatica because it's pinching a nerve, and then I have this twitching in my leg. How did that happen? I'm just born like this, I'm just born that way. When Lady Gaga wrote born this way, she was talking about my sciatica, and I think that's really beautiful, because the more specific songwriting is, the more personally it touches you, you know? So I went in and they were like, yeah, we don't know what's causing it, but also your spine's a bit fucked up. It's not even my spine. It's just like the most important, almost like connection in my body, other than where you're the base of your spine. Brittany Brosky, pick out the parts of the body and point to it on a map challenge, impossible. Give me a map of the human body, and I swear to God, I'm going to be like, I have no idea. I don't know what that is. I don't know what it does, but, ow, ow, thinks it, um, fucking, um, um, goddamn, um, what is that called? Whatever that's called, it's at the base of your spinal column, and it connects to like your, your, uh, not tabula, not fibula, counterwood, um, it's connected to like your tailbone, your sciatic nerve, and all of that. Like that's a really crucial point in the body where a bunch of different systems come together, and then the other one is at the top of your spine, at the base of your brain stem, all that shit, okay, I don't know. Anyway, holy shit, no one cares. Let's move on. Wow, no one cares. Okay. I'm a scout. We don't get knocked out. Harry Styles album announcement. Harry Styles album announcement, um, yeah, Harry Styles album announcement. I just think that I have no idea what we're in for. Harry's house was a kind of departure from the fine line of it all, but at the same time, at the same time, very similar, right? In terms of aesthetics, in terms of colorful, happy lightness. Now the theme of this being disco, I, I will say, I have no idea what to expect. Okay. British white boy doing disco. I don't really know what to expect, hoping for like a RuPaul feature on the album. Don't know. Oh my god, I didn't even think about features. I wonder, oh, he doesn't do features. Has Harry Styles ever done a feature? No. Oh, he's never done a feature. What the bruh? Is that true? Every single album is just him. It's actually kind of gag. That's, I had never put two and two together before. He doesn't need it, but it's not even about needing it in terms of marketing or relevance. Like, obviously, he's the most relevant. He has 51 million monthly listeners on Spotify, also this picture. I have not seen this photo actually before. I saw the yellow, I haven't seen this specific picture. Wow. Is that a big ass spoon? It appears to be he is in Italy of some, he's in a kitchen. I see grapes. I'm assuming this is probably in Europe somewhere. He does, he loves Italy. Wow. I just spoke to him. He loved Italy. He told me. I actually just had a word with him. He said that this was shot in Italy. No, I don't know. This feels very on the same page, but obviously he's a bit older now. So what has Harry learned in his spiritual journey of the last three years? Was Harry's house 2022? Fuck. Harry Styles 2017, fine line 2019, Harry's house 2022, 2026, that's a long time. Four years, brah? Wow. Okay, very excited to see what's going on there. Okay, let's get into what I've been loving recently because isn't that the point of this podcast and I want to share the things in my life that are kind of giving me joy and making me happy? I would like to share that with you guys because who knows, probably we will find community with each other. That's like the whole point, right? Like, broski nation, like the toe you live here or so. Let me just shut the hell up and get into it. I am making it my mission of this year to reconnect with 16 year old me. I really want to find, which funnily enough was 2016. No. When was I? 16? 19 1997 plus 16 2013. Okay, so I'm off by about three years and so I was going to say which was 10 years ago exactly but no it's not. [BLANK_AUDIO] In my head, I'm, in my head, I don't know how old I am. I've kind of always been here, so I feel. In my head, I am an ever-present immortal being. Oh, and by the way, we have book club to get to 'cause I've finished two more books. Guys, my reading challenge this year is 30 books. It's January 19th when I'm recording this and I've already read four, five this year. Now granted, they are small, but their books have always wanted to read. So I'll get into that in a second. Okay, 2016, I was 19. I was in college, so fuck all that. I'm reconnecting with 16-year-old me because I don't think anything has really changed in my atomic cellular makeup from when I was 16 to whatever age I am now. I do think of myself as the creature from Frankenstein. I really am evergreen. You know, I've always kind of been hanging around here and sometimes I get these moments call it deja vu, call it, you know, spatial awareness. I don't know, but I'll look around or I'll get a feeling where I'm like, I've lived this a hundred times. I've lived this a hundred times over and I will gladly keep reliving it. I love being alive. I do, I love it. Being alive is my passion and then there's a dark beside to that statement that is like my biggest fear in life other than death is that I'm not living my life to the fullest, that I am wasting it away. And part of that might be a mental thing. Like, I'm a woman, I have complex emotions and my hormones really dictate whether or not I have a good day. And there are times where I'm like the only thing I want to do, like imaginable on this planet right now is lay in my bed and watch TikTok. And that's, yes, I'm a slave to technology and I'm a slave to dopamine hits. Give me another fucking hit of smack from TikTok.gov. And some days I'm like, I wish it did get banned because then I would be free, but then that's not true, right? My brain has been rewired. I'm gonna look for those short-term dope hits from any app that is willing to give it to me. So I do think I would have had a bit of transfer addiction of TikTok.com banned. For the record, I'm glad it didn't, but sometimes I do have that thought. Now, back to what I was saying. I often fear that in those moments, my youth, the temporary nature of my youth is not on the forefront of my mind when I'm laying in bed scrolling TikTok like a monkey. Okay? When I'm like a monkey with symbols, watching AI baby hit the whip in Naenae, I'm like, I'm squandering my youth. Like that's what I think after I lock my phone. I'm like, I'll never get those four hours back that I just spent when I could have been enjoying. You know, so here's what I've been trying to do recently 'cause beating myself up gets me nowhere and that's something that I learned from anxiety therapy. I started seeing this anxiety specialist about a year ago. I stopped because I was like, I got this queen. I don't. I should probably start seeing her again, but she kind of told me in those moments, like, okay, you beat yourself up. And now actually do something about it. Like, do you want to sit in this locked padded chamber that's like, I'm so stupid and undesired. And I'm just, and I'm like vlogging myself in the public square. Or do you just say, okay, I did that. Let's move on. You know what I mean? That was a decision I made. It's one of 800 billion decisions you'll make in your entire life. Not all of them are going to be hits. Let's move on. There is no use in punishing yourself for a mistake you made in your own mind. So that's kind of been helping me recently of if I don't agree with that choice to lay in bed for four hours in doom scroll. I always have tomorrow to like not do that. And some days I win, some days I lose. In the spirit of that of trying to get off my phone, I want to share some things that I have been watching or, you know, have on in the background while I do things, things that get me out of bed. And also just some general things I've been loving because I have, feel like I haven't done this since the hundredth episode where I did the hundred things that I've been loving. And this one little piece of hair, I'm so frustrated I'm about to just rip it out of my skull, okay? And that's saying a lot 'cause I don't have that much hair to spare. I'm not, I might start my noxidal soon, okay? These, this is not my hair. This is fake human hair that did not grow from my head, okay? My, I've got about six pieces of hair still. And I really do think I'm about to start my noxidal and I think it all is related to my hormones and it's related to PCOS and I, there's obviously no cure for PCOS. You just deal with it. So, and the nature of dealing with it, I've been watching this shit on YouTube. I'm back on my National Geographic shit. Sometimes I'll be in the mood to watch 'cause they, they really push it to me on the browse page. The Egyptian tomb stuff. Look, say what you will about the profession of archaeology, say what you will about that. I sometimes watch that stuff and I'm like, I don't, maybe I'm woke, maybe woke got to me. But I'm like, I don't think we should be disturbing some of that stuff. Of course, for the study of human history and like Egyptology in general, yes, it is important and so much of modern technology is traceable back to the ancient Egyptians. Yes, all of this is kind of established. I just, it makes me a bit nervous when I watch some of these specials or documentaries on like unearthing the tomb of tada-dada-dada. And I'm like, I wouldn't watch some of you. (laughs) I'm too superstitious. I don't know. It makes me sometimes (humming) like chewing my nails. So, in lieu of that sometimes, I love the ancient Roman shit, obviously. But recently, I've been into not ancient France, but like France, the history of France, like if you go back to Vikings and how the Vikings were more feared than like the devil himself sometimes. There was this prayer in England, I believe, way, way, way, way long ago. That was like protect us from drought and hunger and protect us from the Vikings. Like that it was a prayer they would say at night because they were that feared, that revered, that not revered, but I guess their legacy spread far and wide across Europe, okay? The Vikings and all of the different tribes way back when before Europe was settled, you had the Normans who went to France, I'm pretty sure, and the Anglos who settled UK and Ireland, Angolan, which ended up being England, and then from that you start to get the evolution, I might be talking shit. You get the evolution of the French language, the English language, and all of the Germanic languages in the North, okay? If there are any guys, I am not a historian, this is I'm just recollecting what I heard high last night off this documentary. So with that in mind, that was my jumping off point of like the Vikings were low-key, super smart, but also very barbaric and they had their own customs and traditions very entertaining and exciting, but I kind of tuned out because I was cleaning my room. And then from there I started watching this other documentary about Baroque, and about Roca-Co, and about Romanesque, and about the architecture and how the city of Paris was constructed and all the different bridges and all the Ahon-Dismont, like all the different sections of Paris, how the churches were the center, how obviously the French Revolution is, we know it. We were familiar, 1789, it was a class war, it was the extravagance of the elite, got to a point where when you have a starving populace and you are living at the Palace of Versailles, how did you ever think that was gonna work out for you, Queen, they're coming for you and you're gonna die. You're actually dead, you're dead in the water, pal. So, oh my God, and I had this crazy, sometimes I recall revelations I had in my youth, and I still am in my youth, thank you very much. Sometimes I recall revelations I had in my youth. One, the one that just came to mind is I went to the Palace of Versailles when I was in, when I had graduated high school, we went. I think it's the only time I went, so I was 18, and I had just come out of my AP European history class, I was deep in my art history shit, like I was fresh out of that academic environment, so not only did I have an in-depth understanding of it, it was fresh on my mind. We were at Versailles, and we were doing a guided tour, and you walk from room to room, and there's the little plaques, and you have the headphones, whatever. There was a moment where we're standing in either the King's Bed Chamber, Louis XIV, or maybe it was Marie Antoinette, I can't remember, but it was a forward-facing bedroom chamber with all the beautiful, the ceilings are so high, and everything is adorned and gold. and it's just like extravagance. And this is a recreation. I mean, it's not the original fabric and cloth and all that, but oh my god, I'm standing there and I'm looking out the window onto the kind of courtyard, the entrance to the palace. And I'm seeing in my mind's eye, like imagine being one of the royals in an angry horde of starving, angry, rage-fueled peasants are at your door, bitch, you're dead. And guess what? You left that happen. That is entirely your fault. And so I remember standing there and it's, there's no other way to describe it than this, that so raven moment of like I just went into my head. I and I like was looking around like AR augmented reality. I'm like what the fuck, like that is the place. That's literally where it happened. I had another feeling like that the first time I went to the cysteen chapel. And I think I've talked about this on here before. Never in my life have I felt more real and alive. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions of living and you know, you gotta do this, gotta do the dishes, whatever. I don't always have the passion for life that I claim to on this podcast. Even though that is my top line, like I do, I am deathly afraid of death because I don't want to die. I love living so much. In buried in that statement is of course all the mundane minutia of daily life that's annoying and you don't want to do it. And it takes you out of being present. In that moment, I don't think I've ever been more present than staying standing in the cysteen chapel. And the tour guide being like you cannot take photos. And that helped because you are forced to stand there and be like, I will probably never be in this building again. And this building is crucial to understanding human history. And to think like Michelangelo probably didn't know that when he was commissioned to paint the cysteen chapel ceiling. And you know, the last judgment on the wall and whatever. Like this is just a job for him. And of course, he was an old man by the time he got commissioned to do that, painting by candlelight on the scaffolding and all this. It's like, I don't, you never know in the moment if you are impacting, I guess just how far the ripples of your impact will go. It can be one stone in the water. And look, that was painted 400, 400 years ago, 500 years ago. And we're still oogling and oggling at it with our next cranes to the ceiling. That was a moment where I looked up and it literally brought tears to my eyes. And I'm not religious like that. But it was a religious experience to be like, I am one of millions, billions of people that have walked these walls, walked these halls and have admired the work of his hand. And by his, I mean Michelangelo. It was just a feeling that I've never felt so small. I've never felt so human. I've never felt so connected to the entire history and future of humanity. It was a magical spiritual in my body experience. Those moments feel very few and far in between. And I don't think you should have to travel far and wide to have those feelings and experiences. But for me, those were two where I was like, this feels stupid to say. But like so much has happened before me. We get so in our heads like all of the, it doesn't matter. And can I say something? Some of my friends are beefing right now. And I wish that I could like say the right thing in the moment to be like, y'all this doesn't matter. Of course, our feelings matter and feeling validated. And if you feel slighted or you feel unheard or, you know, unappreciated, all of these things matter. But we're adults, oh my god, I'm turned 29 this year. Like if we don't have the skills to work out issues between friends, guys, I'm over it. Like I'm over it. We're too fucking old and your missing life, life is passing you by. If this is how you spend every day. And of course, that take my own advice sometimes, yes. And that's the beauty of life is complicated. Okay, okay. But that I just wanted to kind of get that off my chest. Okay. Yeah, I've been loving those. I've been loving the, the French Revolution documentaries. I've been real into, uh, watch this cool YouTube video about the Victorian language of flowers. You can go find that video on YouTube. I'm not sure who made it. Really interesting and really also interesting to make a video on something that there is no concrete index for. Like there's no appendix to. Is that the word? Yeah, the appendix. Yeah, in addition to a written work containing supplementary material, not essential to the main text, but useful for reference. Yeah, there's no appendix to the language of flowers. But I do think that it's an interesting, say interesting one more time to see how we communicate with material objects, whether that be Valentine's Day, whether that be, you know, cards, whatever. I think that flowers, their meanings maybe are not as rigid as they used to be if you were sending an incognito message to your mistress or your lover by sending flowers. Flowers could be anything. It's just a nice gesture. Sometimes it's congratulations. Sometimes it's condolences. Sometimes it's celebratory. Sometimes it's a declaration of love. It's friends. It's what I mean, there's so many hidden meanings in the flowers and the specific flowers that you pick and the colors and the arrangement of colors, the combination of whatever, what time of day it was delivered. All this shit's crazy and then I'm thinking, yeah, if you were cheating on your partner and you wanted to send a love note to whoever, girl, tea, right? If you get a bouquet and you're like, yes, this means that's crazy. So I watched that high when I was like, damn, I need to bring this back. But then the points kind of missed in the card. I'm like, red roses mean this, carnilians mean this, so here, trying to put together what I'm saying, I feel it resting on my shoulders to revive the language of flowers. Okay, so I'm going to work on that while you guys are living. I'm going to be working on that in my office, okay? Here are some other things I've been loving. I'm going to kind of speed run them. Candid photos of Jacobalority. That one of him with the grill don't, just don't. The one of him in the airport, I know that obviously leave him alone. But I enjoy looking at his airport fits. Any photos of Jacobalority, I'm kind of with Caleb on that front of like, yeah, just go ahead and send him to me. If y'all have any favorite photos of Jacobalority, go ahead and send him to me. My DMs are open. Another thing I've been loving is the combination of gray and maroon. Is maroon the same as burgundy? I've always called it maroon. I think they're the same color and I think you guys are just being annoying. Maroon versus burgundy. Girl, it's the same thing. Maroon is a brownish red. Leaning warm and earthy, named after chestnuts. While burgundy is a purplish red. Leaning cool and sophisticated, named after burgundy wine. The main difference is the undertone. Maroon has brown, making it warmer and muted, whereas burgundy has purple. Okay, I'm getting it now, I guess. Okay, sure. Whatever you say, okay. Okay. Oh, I guess that's good to know and I guess I'm an idiot. I guess I'm a big babbling idiot. I've been loving that combination. Whatever you want, I guess burgundy. Gray and burgundy really has been hitting for me lately. I like to do a gray sweater with a burgundy skirt and a little burgundy neck scarf and maybe a loaf or in a white sock and maybe like an updo with some glasses. Okay, this would have been in too lately as well. Organizing your bedside table. If you have anything that you keep by your bed that like hold shit, it doesn't have to be a table. Maybe it has drawers. Maybe it's just a little, you know, stand that you whatever. Present it in a cleanly and organized way and I think your life will improve. I just organized my bedside table. It has a drawer and inside I bought some of those, those dinky little plastic organizers. One of them has all my hand creams and my eczema shit. By the way, it's eczema season. Happy eczema day and week and month and year to anyone who celebrates. We're peeling and we're red. Yay. My lip chapsticks. And then another one I have on my bookmark show. Now I collect bookmarks and I swap the theme to whatever the theme of the book it is that I'm reading. And then in another one I have like pins and highlighters and little tab tabs to annotate books with. And then on the far far side I have who gives fuck. I have like mace, scissors, a box opener, weapons. You know, if anyone tries to kill me the middle of the night, I'm not going to be like, stay right that like honestly, I'm probably getting killed. but it keeps me sane of mind to I think, well, I have my mates in my nightstand drawer, you know. But honestly, I organized it, and it's so clean, and I know where everything is, and it just, it improved my life by about like seven percent. So I would really recommend that. I've been loving Avatar edits, Jake Sully, Ex-Nateri. I really am back. I'm so back. I don't know if I ever left, but for some reason, I guess the third one didn't get good reviews. I haven't seen it, Spider, the little white guy with reds. Who gives a fuck about him? I don't care, and he's also the general son. I don't give a fuck. Oh my God, I don't give a fuck. There's so much else in that world that I feel like, I don't know. But again, I haven't seen the movie. I've just been seeing other people's opinions on the internet as you do. And yeah, all that say, if there's an edit of Jake Sully that comes across my desk, I'm throwing it a like. I'm throwing it a like, and if it's a good one, it's going on the story. And I'll share it with you guys. I like to share art. When I get good art, I like to share it with people. Okay, don't ever say I'm not altruistic. Zara Larson, out the key asylum, she made it. That's my queen. I love her TikToks. I need to take an edible with Zara Larson. I'll just leave it at that. Zara, you know who to contact. I have been loving notes for autumn nails. I'm still doing my thing. I love a nude pink slight sparkle. Okay, no glitter. Know this a slight sparkle in the stiletto shape. I've been doing it for like the last five months. I'm addicted. I love it. I used to do French tips. And then I started to feel a little bit to Mormon wives. And then now I'm on my nose for autumn nails. And they just feel good. They elongate your fingers. 'Cause I have my dad's hands. They just elongate. Okay, I love it. Project Pan. Project Pan. I have so much fucking makeup that I have literally had. I threw away my stuff I had in high school because that's gross. Like 10 year or 12 year old makeup, I'm not doing that. I still have to make up that I had in college. And if it doesn't smell too funky, I will use it sometimes, but here's the thing. I love to go, I'm a woman. Excuse my folly. I go into Sephora, I go into Ulta, and I'm like, let me talk to her representative. I have some questions, and I have some money. And I end up buying shit that I don't need. And I need to start finishing products before I'm like, okay, what options do I have to explore? Right? I'm so mad at myself that I'm really taking Project Pan seriously because I looked in my drawer the other day and I was like, why do I have 10 blushes? I don't need 10 blushes. And it'll take me forever to go through those. And what am I gonna go and buy a new blush? It's the same color by a different company. No, wah! No. So I'm really taking Project Pan serious. With that being said, I did just buy something that I do think is worth the hype. And this is coming from a place of, I want to help you all because it helped me. I am not sponsored by this company, okay? Where are my fin hair, fine hair, greasy balding girls? Raise your hand. Okay, now put it down. Now raise your hand again. Okay, put it down. I am one of you. Obviously, I have six pieces of hair. My hair, I literally wash it. I blow dry it and within 12 hours, my hair is greasy. I am a dry shampoo queen. And yes, it's kind of the catch 22. Because if you put dry shampoo on your scalp, it like stops the hair follicles from going, I guess it clogs your pores. I don't give a fuck, I'm bald. So I've been looking for a dry shampoo that first of all works. Second of all, it doesn't smell crazy. And third of all, it doesn't leave a white cast. Like there's so many things I'm looking for in a dry shampoo. I saw a TikTok, as I do. Of someone being like, for anyone who struggles with really oily hair or an oily scalp, try this out. And she literally did a demonstration. Girl, it's the K18 one. And it's so expensive, but I got it. And I tried it and it works. I hate to say it works. It's a spray, which is crazy. It's a spray, it goes on wet. And then you rub it in and it's a miracle. And it keeps it fresh for two or three days. And I don't mean this as a guy's miracle product. I have thin greasy hair and I got it and it worked. So I just wanted to put that out there if y'all have been in the market like me. Because I've been struggling for so long of what's a dry shampoo that doesn't make my scalp smell weird. I smell like oats. I smell like oats and wheat. Because this one I use has like oatmeal in it. I don't know. And it's a squeeze bottle powder. I don't know, girl. So I found something that works. So I wanted to share it with y'all. The last thing before I get into what I really wanted to talk-- OK, two more things. I've been loving doing goodreads reviews. I literally halfway through a book, if a part really strikes me, I'll be like, oh my god, I can't wait to do my goodreads review. And yes, say what you will about is this creating a competitive, almost productivity-driven reading or consuming of media? Who gives a fuck? Who cares? If people are reading and people are going to the theater to watch movies and people are-- OK, I think that's a net positive. OK, yes, have we turned consuming media into a productivity challenge? Yeah, I guess. But I think it's fun to go back and see here the books I read this year, instead of this-- yes, I'm pleasure reading. But also, I miss the academic environment of reading and being challenged. So in my goodreads reviews, sometimes after I finish a book, I like to go and read critiques of it, or criticisms, or reviews, or whatever, and be like, OK, I don't agree with that, or I thought the same thing, or whatever. And then I'll go do my goodreads review. So it's fun. I wish the goodreads are here, and I wish goodreads did half-stars, but I digress. And I got these magnet fidget sliders. They've changed my life. I hate to be one of those adults. It's like, my new favorite fidget toy. But it's me. And I have a whole drawer fidget toy. I have a drawer fidget toys, and I'm tired of hiding it, and I just wanted to come clean. And these silent, because there are haptic ones. There's clicky ones. No, I like the silent ones, because I'm doing it on the plane. I'm doing it in the car. I'm doing it while I'm driving. I like my magnet sliders. They're great. And I just got another one. I got one that's a different color way, OK? They make me happy, and they give me something to do. And I don't pick at my skin. I don't do all the bullshit, OK? So it's good. Now let's have book club. These are the two I finished this last week. I am a Kafka girl. Now, I guess-- I don't know. This was my first foray into the Kafka cinematic universe. And these lights are too bright on my face and in my eyes. OK, I kind of want to do the rest of the episode. Also, the caffeine is really surging, and my eyes are tired of being open. So I'm just going to close them. I'm just going to close them and do the rest of the episode with my eyes closed. I read Kafka. This is The Metamorphosis by Kafka. All I've ever heard about this book is it's nonsensical, and that's the point. I don't know if you can reduce Kafka down to that. I think there's so much more in here. And again, I haven't done the deep dive into this that I want to. And he has so many other-- the trial by Kafka's next, I believe, where a man is on trial for a crime. He doesn't know that he committed. That's tea. And this is my first-- I dipped my toes in the water, and I feel like this is the one I've heard the most about. The Metamorphosis by Kafka is about-- he wakes up, Gregor Somsa wakes up in bed, his bed, as a book. And this translation is by Susan Bernofsky. She was fantastic. And I liked her little afterward, because, you know, of course, Bable kind of opened my eyes to this, Bable By RF Quang. The work of translators is not to be understated. Connecting cultures, connecting communities, making literature accessible. I think we take them for granted a lot of the time. And there are so much nuance that goes into translating a text, meanings, specific words, feelings. All of these things go into a correct, quote unquote, and proper translation. And who's to say it is entirely subjective? Who knows if a real-- if a translation is accurate? I think it is totally up to the discretion of the translator. And we, as readers who don't speak the original language that the book was in, we kind of have no say in it. Go learn the language. If you have an issue with how the translator translate it, go learn the language. So reading this, I really, really liked her afterward, because she said something like breaking it down. This word means this, but it can also mean this. So in my discretion, I chose this English word to sum up this because it's a synonym, and it more evokes the feeling of what Kafka was trying to say in my opinion. I respect that. I don't want a literal translation. I don't want this kind of weird biblical translation, where you translate it maybe literally, but it loses its meaning. It loses its-- emotional weight. So, I really like her translation. It was very easy to follow and it was very captured his sense of humor, which I appreciate. And in the end, she also had some, so here was my review of Metamorphosis by Kafka. Okay. My interpretation, or rather my takeaway, is the concept of inaction. Okay. Actually, this is a spoiler if you've never read Metamorphosis. And if you're going to, I'd skip ahead about two minutes. And if you don't give a fuck, then just stay. Grigger was low-key a cuck. He rolled over and took it in his human life, so why would he not do the same in his beetle life? Who's to say if his transformation was some kind of punishment, some test, some opportunity? It ultimately doesn't matter because he squandered it and brod died the same way he lived, subservient and lacking self-agency. I loved Susan Bernowski's translatory choices and Kronenberg's intro in this edition. He spotlighted how the family reacted in a materialistic, petty, and perfunctory way, never once pausing to reflect on a potential deeper meaning of Grigger's Metamorphosis. It's a very simplistic text with nothing to be gleaned from the supporting characters, and Grigger was too damn stupid to offer us any real insight other than confusion and subsequent melancholy for his new reality. So I think that a text like this, I need to dive a bit deeper into it, because while there's takeaways to be had, or you know, however the book left me feeling personally, I think that an author like Kafka and a book like this has such an incredible ripple effect that I'm honestly, I will admit, like I'm not studied up on it. And I am absolutely no authority to come on here and talk about, you know, Kafka's significance in the literary community. I'm not going to even attempt to do that. That was my takeaway from Metamorphosis, and I hope that the more that I read Kafka, you know, the more I'll understand. For all you Kafka enthusiasts out there, it literally is like I feel like I'm fucking with the swifties of the literary community. I don't know. I don't know, okay? Take it with a grain of salt, what I have to say. Now the next thing that I read was a collection of short stories by Mary Shelley. This is called Transformation by Mary Shelley. This was a collection of three short stories, transformation, the invisible girl, and the mortal immortal. I really liked transformation and the mortal immortal. I always, I don't know why, but I am gravitated. I always gravitate towards stories about immortality. I don't know why. It's a common theme on this dumbass podcast. Why do I always talk about being immortal? Like it's going to happen to me. Like it's a real concern. Like guys, I'm telling you, trust me, I'm immortal. You don't want to do this. You don't want to be like me. Like I don't know why I think it's a very serious obsession. I have very hard opinions on immortality. Never once is that going to be an issue in my life. The mortal immortal, it's honestly funny. The mortal mortal and transformation because they have some similar through lines, through Frankenstein, of dicking with scientific exploration and research, of dicking with your, your corporeal structure and transformation deals with swapping bodies with someone, which is interesting. And there's a moral lesson to be learned from doing this. You know, if you want to trade spirits or you want to trade bodies with someone, there are consequences to that. And there's so much to think about of why did you ever think it was worth it and not taking your body or I guess taking your body for granted? I found it really interesting. And then the final one, mortal, immortal was about a guy takes like a potion, not a potion. It was scientific. A scientist created a tincture full of, you know, an immortal potion, an immortal compound and the guy drank it and outlives everyone. And hearing all of his lamentations about everything and everyone I have ever loved is gone. And it's just me. He wanders the earth, always loving and losing. Like, oh, that's the side of it. It's like any happiness is temporary. And I guess that's true of normal human life. But this specifically, you are doomed to repeat the cycle over and over and over of loving and losing and always ending up alone. Fuck. And then he said, in the end, he comes up with a solution for how to end it all. And it wasn't suicide. It wasn't whatever. I think I underlined how she, oh yeah, here. Listen to how she describes immortality. Why is this my fixation? A sailor without rudder or compass tossed on a stormy sea. A traveler lost on a widespread heat without landmark or stone to guide him. Such have I been more lost, more hopeless than either. A nearing ship, a gleam from some far caught may save them, but I have no beacon except the hope of death. Death, mysterious, ill-visaged friend of weak humanity, while alone of all mortals, have you cast me from your sheltering fold. Oh, for the peace of the grave, the deep silence of the iron-bound tomb, that thought would cease to work in my brain and my heart beat no more with emotions varied only by new forms of sadness. But again, who shall number the years of the half of eternity? What the fuck? It's so good. I don't know why. I do know why. It's because it seems maybe one day probable. Is that why? I need to do some introspection on why I'm obsessed with immortality. Maybe the idea of we have been, we as humans are capable of cloning. That's a thing that we like figured out how to do. We're capable of creating vaccines. We're capable of dicking with the very foundations and structural makeups of life itself. It intrigues me. And maybe immortality doesn't feel too far off. Maybe that's why I'm like worried about it. I don't know. I don't know. I really enjoyed these two books. I'm about to start The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, which is a ghost story. And I started the first, I'm on like page 11. Oh my god. The language is just so, part of me loves it, but part of me is like, oh my god, it's so superfluous. Just get to the point. Like, you either have that, which is an extreme or something like a John Steinback or whatever, versus someone like George Orwell, where his approach to writing was use as few words as you need to deliver the message. Keep it simple, keep it whatever, but still it's intelligent writing. He just had an issue with the like over the top using 30 words to describe something that requires too. And of course, I understand that approach. It's kind of conservative versus utilizing the English language and all of its capabilities. And so works like Turn of the Screw or anything that's, you know, gothic Victorian, whatever. They had such an affinity for language that it's fun to read. Oh my god. I never would have the brown taste sisters. I never would have put a sentence together like that, but it's beautiful. It's beautiful. I've such a respect for it and I love to read it, but sometimes I'm like, oh my god, get to the point. So, oh, another thing that I've been obsessed with recently, just kind of in this vein. I listen to KUSC FM. You can listen to KUSC FM from anywhere. It's just a classical station. I love it. I love them so much. It's always playing on my Google. It's just nice to have. I would really recommend putting on classical music in the background. It makes you feel rich. It makes you feel calm. It makes you feel poised. I don't know. I just love it. Okay, here are my songs of the week. There are a few I've been addicted to. And there's a new artist that I hope I'm saying her name, right? Sienna Spiro, Spyro, Dream Police. I'm addicted to that fucking song. I keep watching her like live performance of it on the color show thing. Bitch, I'm addicted to that damn song. I love that song. I also love the. don't kill the party by juicy J and Tidalassine and Cuevo. Then I love Don Talver. I don't give a fuck. I listen to Don Talver all the time. "Mood Forever" by Beyoncé. I'm back on the Lion King soundtrack. I forgot I made a playlist that was all of the songs from that soundtrack that just have these vocals on it. Amazing. I've been listening to it. over and over and over, Nile already, Bigger, Water, all of those songs are they hit and they really stand the test of time. I love that album. Relicia by Rosalia. And guys, give me more time with Lux. I need more time with Lux before I come on here and spout my opinions. It's a very personal thing for me. I literally struggle to put into words. How much respect I have for her as an artist and how profoundly her art has impacted me. Give me a second before I come on here and run my stupid mouth. That's all I ask. And then last song is "Rubber Band Man" again by Hozier and Muffin and Suns. I love that song. I listen to it all the time. Probably once a day. All right, some things to plug. If you don't enjoy the ads on this episode, trust me. I get it. We have a Patreon. We have a Patreon that's just ad-free, okay? And I'll post on there once a month, it's like a sub-stack, a little essay that I write. That's it. You get no bonus content, you get nothing. I want to manage expectations. We have merch, broskey.shop. If you would like Moo Moo. Actually, I don't know if the Christmas ones are still on the website. You might have missed your chance. But we have normal Moo Moo's and we have broskey report merch. And soon coming something else. We have an official playlist for the broskey report that is one is fan-made, one is official. We have helpful links in the description always of every single episode of the broskey report. We also have new YouTube videos coming out soon, guys. I believe this week. So get ready for that. I need everyone at attention. Can you guys stand up? Can you guys get up? We have new YouTube videos coming out. You guys have been yelling at me for two years to get back on YouTube. Guess what? I'm back. Oh, and everyone's silent. Oh, and suddenly none of y'all's fingers work. You can't comment. Whatever. Broskey Nation, I'm sick. I need y'all to stand up and get in line. We march it down. All units are being deployed at dawn when the YouTube video launches, okay? Then we have, I just want to plug Royal Court. Guys, I have an interview show. Go watch Royal Court, please. We just had Martha Lernandez on. He's hilarious. Okay, that episode was so fun. Go watch it. It's funny. Go watch it. We've got plenty of people coming on that y'all are just, y'all are going to lose your minds. I cannot say anything further than that. We have one guest that's coming up. I just, I can't, I can't. There's no. RuPaul laugh and blow. Y'all just need to, you need to sit down and you need to strap in because it's happening. Well, I guess that we have wanted from the very beginning is finally happening and I just can't. Okay, I love you guys to death. Thanks for listening. I have free single week. Thank you for listening. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for engaging. Thank you for making edits. Thank you for putting me in hope, core edits. Thank you for loving me. And for listening to the bullshit I have to say. Thank you for finding community with me. Thank you for finding friends that are also fans of me. Thank you for paying attention because attention is currency. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know. And with that, be good. Be safe. And I'll talk to you next week. Bye.