Harry Jowsey: My Wedding & Divorce

what is up daddy gang it is your founding father alex cooper with call her daddy harry jousey welcome to call her daddy okay i feel like this is like really different vibes yeah from our normal podcasting yeah it's different because no it's just we're in such different places in our life isn't that weird you got married and i'm pregnant yeah what are we doing we fell off when no no what's crazy is and we always talk about this i've known you almost as long as i've known matt i've known matt a little bit longer oh but you hate that you like to say no it's the same day i'm like it wasn't the same day it wasn't no but he dropped me off when i was going to record with you call her daddy what was that like seven years ago yeah was it no 2020 i was in a person seven years ago okay so six years ago almost seven years ago that's crazy i had silver hair yeah you looked like a little cherub and you were just so excited and eager about the industry and now we're both crazy but the last okay so you are someone who i would say aside from lauren because she's obviously my best friend but like you are officially the most reoccurring guest on call her daddy that's but thank you for having me well i almost feel like it's like you and i have had kind of like do it a couple times because i think the first time was like whoa these two are insane it was like my very barstool day still we were talking a lot about sex we were there was the classic i think it went viral when you talked about bum fluff on a girl that's right yeah that was so fun but it was so fun and we were so insane and then slowly we progressed to like being friends off of you know the internet and podcasting land and then we would just yearly have updates together and so we went from like oh my god he's got a girlfriend and then like cheating scandal and then he has a girlfriend and then whatever and then i'm getting married and now you got married i'm pregnant and we're sitting here almost eight years later together crazy what are we doing i know it's so okay so i was looking back at our last interview oh and the last time i interviewed you you basically said alex i am officially dating to mary like i am officially dating to mary this is what i'm looking for i'm done with all the f boy to 20 women i love a man with follow through okay that's my dream is that so wild and to live in their house with them too i cannot believe leave it to you to be engaged to 20 women at once like it's also crazy because all the comments are like oh he only cast brunette girls and i was like i had no idea i didn't even know i was gonna do it i just showed up okay let's talk about this I will never forget when you, our TV team at Unwell, and Netflix all came together. And we were like, Harry Jousey needs a show. Guys, I'm not kidding you. We all sat around a table and we're like, Harry Jousey needs a show. We need this man back on TV. Yeah. And of course, we always want to push you towards hosting, which I think is where you're going to go soon. Because I think we've kind of. If you have me, you can plan it. But we said, we got to give him one more like, what's Harry's. Well, what does Harry need? And we all look and we said, Harry needs to get married. Harry needs 20 fiances. And so we came up with Let's Marry Harry, which is the show now that has aired on Netflix. If anyone lives under a rock, basically you be. What? No, just don't talk about it. Okay. Guys, it's a little hot in here. Let me just tell you something. Your friend's pregnant. Yeah. And as a pregnant woman, Harry, I'm running like 20 degrees. It's hotter. Is that how it works? Yeah. Oh, for me. Okay. Okay. So picture Matt and I in bed. Yeah. He is basically in a turtleneck and mittens because I've got the house set to 61 at night. Really? And I can't even keep the covers on because I'm so hot. What? It's like that? It's a whole thing. Maybe one day you'll get a woman pregnant. Well, I tried. On the show. We're going to get there. Sorry. Rewind. Keep it together. Okay. We're still wholesome so far. So far, I feel like nothing we've said is too wholesome. No. Can I say something really wholesome? What? Oh. Okay. No. This is real. And I would never, ever say this because we would never have the chance to. Okay. Like we would never, we wouldn't talk like this. That's really weird. Okay. But because the whole press run that everyone's asking me about love and like what that means. And I remember at the start of the show, before I was about to do it, and I'm thinking about like what I would want and like how I. Like what I see is love, right? And the only two people that I think about is obviously you and Matt and Sonny and Drea with their relationship. But I was thinking about it the other day. No, stop. That's so sweet. No, because the other night when we're having dinner and Matt was telling me about the brand deal or whatever else. And I was, and I realized in that moment, I was like, nothing else matters on the planet to this guy, apart from the person that's sitting across from us. And in my head, I was, I think I've been searching for that because I look at you guys. There's like role models. I was like, this is such a beautiful, like, this is everything. Like for both you guys, nothing on the planet matters at all. Like he loves you more than anything on the planet. And the whole, even yesterday and today I was thinking about it. I was like, wow, anyone would be lucky to have half of what you guys have. First of all, you're so sweet. And I feel so happy that we have genuinely built a relationship that is on camera, always so dynamic and so fun. Yeah. Yeah. And literally talk for hours. But I think what I, Matt and I, when we were going into this experience with you, I remember you coming over. I need to show you. It's a video of you with your little dog. Was it Bruce or Kai? Kai. Yeah. And she's like walking on the table outside of our house and you and Matt are talking and you're in the middle, basically talking about like asking him, like, how, how did you know Alex was the one? Yeah. And I feel like we've been so fortunate to. Have so many really intimate conversations with you because you genuinely have wanted to seek out answers of like, how did you guys know? Like, and I, and I think leading up to this process, which I want to get into, like there was so much that you were, your ears were so open to everyone that you like respected, like you're saying in, in relationship dynamics, because you were genuinely just trying to take it all in before you went into this experience, which I feel like not a lot of people are going to have expected. So I, I do want to talk about that. But okay. To anyone that's living under a rock, doesn't know you basically became the bachelor except all 20 women when they showed up on day one, got rings. Yeah. It really makes it real. And I think, especially for like a woman, when you put that ring on, you're like, oh my God, like I see it. Like it makes it a little bit more real. Yeah. So they all have the rings. And then if you eliminate them, you take the ring back until you find the one. Let's go back. You obviously started on too hot to handle. Did you ever imagine? That your wedding would be on television? No, I didn't even imagine that this shit would happen. I didn't even think anyone believed when we posted the trailer, like all the comments like this, no way. No one thought it was real. Like this guy's not getting married. It's crazy. To be fair, because you have photoshopped your face so many times as the bachelor. So actually now in hindsight, I get why people are like, there's no way this is real. Yeah. Because you're always fucking with everyone. No, because I was trying to manifest it. And here we are. Well, here we are. How did it work out? Hold on. So you never thought it would actually happen. But then obviously you were ecstatic when you found out that someone would want to watch you get married on TV. I think it was more ecstatic to know that people were actually there to marry me. I was like, there's no way. Did you have any hesitations, though, like signing on to do this, to get married on television? I think the biggest thing for me was I was being worried about if I was going to waste the girl's time, which 19 of them I did, basically. And I remember being in their house and I was kind of going through that like mental dilemma. Dilemma? Dilemma? Is that a word? Yeah. It's a big word for me. Yeah, big. He's got the glasses on. He's coming in hot. Yeah. He studied the dictionary before this. No, but my brain, I was like, oh, I just don't want to upset anyone or waste anyone's time. Because basically what you said to me before I went on is like, if this is the same old shit. Yeah. Like you're wasting everyone's time and it sucks. And you're going to break these girls' hearts. Basically, you were yelling at me. To figure it out. I was grilling into you so hard. Like, you can't take this as a joke. Yeah. And we're not doing this to just make a TV show. We're actually doing this because we can go make a million TV shows, Harry. I'm wanting you to do this because I genuinely believe in you. But you have to believe in yourself. There's a lot of pep talks. There was a lot. You guys would go for it. So what ultimately made you decide to say yes? Because I'm like my whole life, since I was like 19, the first show was in New Zealand. Since I was 19, my whole dating life has been on, had some sort of spotlight or like pressure on it. And I'm like, well, if I really want to just do it, I should probably just like dive headfirst in and have no phone and be in there and figure it out. And then also like, there's no bullshit. Like you guys would yell. You would tell me. Well, you do tell me. We kept you in line. Yeah. So I'm like, it's good. Like what other relationship would I have where I have so many watchful eyes making sure that I do the right thing? We had like guardrails on you. Yeah. You were like on your training wheels and we were all like steering you through the course. I'm like texting our producers, like tell him to do this. Tell him to do this. Tell him to stop this. Yeah, slow down. No, you said, I think it was like, stop kissing everyone. And I was like, oh, Alex, but I want to. Okay, wait. Before you started this, how did your friends and your family react? react that you were going to be getting married on television i think um my family was making it more about themselves there's so much drama in my family yeah you you saw them you've got a lot of family drama yeah there was so much and then my friends i guess were just confused like it's a weird thing to hey do you want to come to my wedding how did your therapist feel i actually just saw her before this how did that go um she was saying i'm she feels like i'm about to have anxiety attack yeah okay yeah we'll get there we'll get there but back when you were starting there was no anxiety attack right how did she feel when you presented this to her no i think she was she was worried she's like we're gonna have to have a few more sessions we're gonna need to reload oh did you double up every week yeah i think it was twice a week yeah i don't know what else we need to talk about but she's like i just want to make sure you're okay leading up to filming can you talk about how you were preparing yeah because i feel like you were reading so many books do you remember that i have them in my phone i haven't saved i thought you were saying i brought them here to prove to everyone that i read a book yeah look here's a highlighter no there was this one that really got me it was called he's scared she's scared and that's all about like self-sabotage and that one was really interesting because i'm like am i doing that am i constantly fucking up because that's what i'm doing and i'm like i'm not doing there was i even tried to read emma redikowski's book yeah but i i think i ordered it in french so and also like i'm like i don't oh okay because i'm like men are evil i guess i'm trying to figure out i was trying to look at myself from like a different perspective instead of pov so i actually respect that yeah so i'm like if i read this and i relate i'm like oh and then you got it in french yeah so you just kind of gave up but i just kept it by my bedside table in case anyone came over they're like oh wow he's this guy's really tapping in but then even with amanda before i before we went on we sat down for like four and a half hours and she grilled me on every relationship ever because she she took it very serious yes well i think that was what was interesting is like i remember you constantly calling me being like i read another book and i'm literally like at first i didn't really fully believe you but then i will say leading up to this i was in shock with how much you were investing in yourself and you were so committed and that's why i do agree like i think you had a lot of people around you harry going into this experience which i do think it is important to just set the scene because obviously then there's chaos in the show and all this is where everything's going to come out of whatever but i i do and also just so everyone knows who's watching i have no reason to gas you up i could be like you went in so blind you looked like an idiot we were all annoyed with you day one it's just not the truth you actually were so intentional and reading and no it was shocking and you really every time you came over to my house and you sat with matt and i it felt like each time we saw you leading up to this you got a little bit more wise in terms of what you were looking for but in a really cute way harry you also were getting a little bit more nervous and i remember the last time we saw you before you went off to film you were like i'm nervous like i'm nervous to go into this because there's going to be so much on the line and i feel like it's getting more real and you were taking it really seriously it was really scary even that first day i remember when i was about to say goodbye to sunny amanda and georgia i was about to cry i know i remember that scene it was like it was really struggling i was like i can't cry in front of sunny wait when do you think it started to feel real to you um i think it was the it was the first day because it's kind of all like hazy and like crazy like oh getting ready like doing the fittings whatever else just felt like another tv show but then when i walked down and i saw the girls and i literally got so dizzy and i like blacked out and i couldn't i don't know what to do with my hands i was freaking out and then yeah i think that was the first moment and then the first two days fully blacked out no you know what's so funny i remember in the first episode that a lot of the women before they saw you there were some women with hesitations and they were like i don't even know if this guy's gonna actually like is he does he really want to do this and it was so sweet when you walk down and you welcome everyone so many of the women were like we he actually seems really nervous and he's like getting red and like flush in the face and like i don't know what to do with oh man maybe he actually like is genuine and it was cute to see women like see you in person and see how you were like a little jittery and you were nervous and you were anxious yeah it's so serious i also think something that really showed me that you were ready to change you got rid of the lamborghini i did and you moved out of hollywood yeah what did you trade the lambo in for i got a range rover like a big one uh-huh what color it's matte black and what color was the lambo bright orange every single time you showed up to my home or we went to a dinner or we went to a coffee or you showed up to the offices i i burned holes through your shirt with my eyeballs and i was like get rid of it get rid of it it was cool it was so fun it was so fuck boy it was so over the top it was so noisy it was literally loud and it was so loud visually and i was like this is annoying this is annoying no i'm gonna get another one and i kept being like harry get rid of this and you're like no i like it and now yeah talk to me about what's in the range rover harry so i was like oh that's a really nice car can i buy it and i just bought it but there's like screens in the back for children yeah because i was like oh if i have kids i want them in the back like you're gonna be an uncle soon if we're on a road trip crazy i don't know if i'll let you be alone with the baby yeah i don't think so i'll drive i was thinking about that on the way over here i was like i wonder when i'll actually meet it probably when it's like six months old because i feel like you guys are gonna go to the car and go to hibernation for a while right we're gonna go to hibernation but you will be uncle harry please now i want to understand yeah how did it feel to know with everything you've been through in the public eye how did it feel to know that 20 women willingly showed up and actually wanted to marry you it's kind of wild because i've i've seen some of them like kind of be a little bit mean to me and i'm like no one put a gun to your head and said you have to do this show like you willingly signed up you went through the months of audition process bought outfits for got your makeup and came like there's some of them that are already like being a little bit silly oh online yeah and i'm like oh i didn't interesting i didn't know who was gonna be there i did i showed up harry had zero zero influence on the casting process he would text me and be like how we looking and i was like shut up i was like i'm not telling you anything we told you nothing but do you think that a lot of those do you think any women came for clout for sure like i but it's also naive of me to think like that they wouldn't consider that of course you know like you go on a reality show like any reality show there's going to be some sort of attention and if it's a good show if it's on netflix like there's public attention so i think my brain is two things can be true you know that's fair there's one pillar that's like hey i would love my life to change and potentially become an influencer or get a and marry him like there's two things that could be true i think some people their clout one was a little bit heavier than others but that's okay well i think probably they had like they're like i tried to get on love island that didn't work yeah and then i tried to get on love is blind that didn't work and then i was like you know what let's let me audition for mary harry finally my way in it's crazy and i hope they get the followers that like a little bit of traction yeah i hope so did you hope that the women would come in blind and have kind of no full understanding of you or did you want them to do their research honestly i think it's disarming if they did their research you know like because then oh maybe actually no that's horrible no because my brain what i was thinking is if they know everything yeah then it's like all right well i'm already here and i want to do it right oh i see so you're saying like they knew everything and they researched and they still chose to show up and be like put a ring on this finger then they were kind of accepting you for who you are yeah then if they were going in blind you're like so let me tell you what's going to happen next francesca and i let's go back to the very beginning oh okay okay i see yeah do you feel like throughout the process one proved to be more successful than the other like the women who knew you because they did their research or the women who went in blind honestly i think that nothing could really prepare you for the that environment and i think we're all learning and trying to figure it out the whole time so i don't know like i've but they also even the ones curious because they started asking questions and like trying to figure out like what why was why are you saying that or why is he talking about like oh right because they're looking at the other women like wait why yeah what do you guys mean yeah like did he have a bad tweet or something you're like a bad tweet a bad couple years okay being engaged to that many women at once is a lot before that like you can be honest we're like let's go back to the five days how many people had you ever juggled on a roster at once i think at least five okay but i feel like that's a good hefty roster but like not no remember when i saw you first i would be like three a day but it would be like recurring guests right yeah no no i i can pinpoint yeah but i don't think i know that's a lot that's a lot of people that is that's a lot but yeah i feel like a roster be two because then you're gonna get feelings for one. i think a roster of three is like a healthy roster four you're like oh five you're like damn but thank god you didn't hit us with like a 10 yeah no i would no no 10 no 10 maybe did you you wouldn't no i wouldn't i didn't have the time like i felt like because you know what it gets hard when you have a roster back in the day and again this is normal this is not being a bad person but when you're single and you're talking to people like i feel like i look back and it's really hard to i struggled with remembering stories that i would tell some of these men so i would literally be like oh my did i already tell him that story and i would type in a like a keyword into my phone and be like oh no i told that one to sean but i haven't told it to james yet because because you're getting your life mixed up a little bit right i would fuck myself up because on my old podcast i would tell stories about what's happening and then they'd text me like why would you say that and then i'm like oh whatever yeah yeah the podcast did me in too don't worry yeah we both have been there we learned our lessons um okay we're gonna go back to the beginning of the experience you said at the start if this is up to me i'm gonna marry someone toxic and we're gonna have a terrible public divorce well well let's unpack this okay going into filming were you attracted to toxic um i think i if i wasn't i would bring it out for sure i think like one of the things i've figured out my therapist is with my parents relationship because it was so much friction that's what i thought was growing up like that's what i needed or that's what's right and i guess the best thing about these shows and having so many people have opinions is you kind of start to self-reflect a little bit and i guess before let's marry i was really like trying to figure that out like why am i always attracted to the chaos like why am i always like if i if i don't find it why do i create it it's so stupid so i guess that was my thing is i would just start to like make it happen without getting too into it i think and why i've always wanted to emphasize this as much as you're comfortable it's like i think that your upbringing was a lot yeah to say the least yeah and it was very volatile in moments and so i think that you are this really funny guy and you're charming and you're good looking and you're outgoing and you're a jokester keep going yeah you're a jokester and so i think sometimes you don't lead with your emotion and you kind of hide your emotions and so it can come off like you're being really i don't know like in moments you're it can feel like oh he doesn't even care yeah but i think deep down you can push people away or do things that are really in the moment feeling toxic because you're actually just getting freaked out if it's getting you're getting too close to the person which is like psychologically that is like a complete normal thing that people do that's what it was yeah well the thing is with georgia when we spoke again about it because like we came back together a couple after a couple years like after my dad had passed and we were like oh let's clear the air she that was the biggest thing she's like i just thought you just never cared because you just like always laugh about everything or like wouldn't take it serious and that was also a big turning point in my brain as well because it's like oh sometimes you just need to hear that you do because i think it's it's it's such a defense mechanism for you even whenever we're having a serious conversation and i know you're always giggling and then i'll be like okay but harry like real talk and you're like okay fine i think you get really uncomfortable sometimes with going deep and it takes the right person to get you to go deep and then once you do like you're a very emotional ball you're a big ball but you're a big emotional ball that's why i'm scared for this show to be honest because um it's so vulnerable and like i think we got lucky with like the girls to make it like such a safe space yeah like for everyone to be able to like make everything comfortable but that's why like leading up to i've been so anxious because it's not like i'm playing a dickhead or like being like how i was in these other shows it's like oh this real life stuff like dealing with my emotions with my family and then my dad and then having my family involved and like not and no one else to like kind of put the blame on like whatever mistake is it's such a good point like when everyone watches let's marry harry for the good the bad the ugly you have to know that in almost every other reality show that harry has been in prior you have played a character to some degree yeah and for this one you were completely stripped down and couldn't do anything but you were just yourself yeah let's talk about georgia though yeah um for anyone who doesn't know that's your ex-girlfriend yeah and we basically formulated the show to make sure that the decision wasn't 100 up to you when it came to choosing who you were choosing because we're like leave harry to his own devices we're gonna just repeat the patterns let's like help him a little bit on this journey and one of the people that you brought in you brought in some of your closest friends but one of the people that you did bring in is your ex-girlfriend georgia to kind of sit on this panel to watch you and help and guide you which i think so many people were shocked by um what was her reaction when you asked her to do this um you know me and georgia have such a good relationship now that it was funny like she's like of course like why would i why would i not like she laughed um but then on the other hand i was thinking about it like what a brave thing for her to do to just walk into a house of like 20 girls that are trying to marry her ex um and also like to put everything that we've been through to the side to be there so like hats off to her but i know in the casting process i remember when netflix called me i said interview all my exes like i don't care all of them but obviously george is the friendly we interviewed them all the friend they're friendly yeah yeah i bet really scary um but yeah honestly like because we're in such a playful place like it was it was so nice and like easy and um it's also good to kind of have that closure and to for people to see that like you can be this close with an ex and it's all good yeah what do you think qualified her for the position because george has been there through basically everything um she's seen me at rock bottom and super highs but also um i just think the the emotional maturity to to be able to like put everything to the side and when my dad passed to reach out and to be there and to be there and to be there was like really special and for us to just after so many years like after that moment and like hang out and just have like we had the most fun i remember when i saw her again after all these years and i was in a bit of a sticky situationship and i wasn't having fun and i saw georgia again and we went into a concert we had the best night ever we had so much fun i was like oh this is like this is what life's about it's just having like a good pal just having a great night and going to a concert and having laughs we just laughed the whole night and there needed to rekindle anything no no we were all good like we knew like we knew like we're just going to be always just going to be friends and so that was really special and that was really nice and i was like okay cool like that's what life's about so yeah i think like yeah no that makes me happy for you that you clearly feel safe with her and i have to give her so much props because when i was thinking about it and i actually would love everyone else to think about this for themselves because kind of an interesting exercise i was like if i was in harry's position and i needed to have one of my exes come and help me find love i was like who would i have them call and it was so crazy trying to think about it because i was like oh my god i feel like almost all of them would try to sabotage me yeah and there's like a few in there that i'm like all right he wouldn't do me dirty but i'm really happy i think it showed um a lot of growth also even just between the two of you because you publicly had gone at each other prior to this so to be on a netflix show together and be you I was like wow maybe it maybe you can actually be cordial with exes yeah so going into this experience do you remember what did you tell producers that you were looking for in a wife i think i just actually i don't even know what i said i just said just do it like just figure it out because i don't want to know i remember i told them i'm going to tell them like literally nothing because i just wanted them to just do it for me and no and i don't want to put any pressure on like oh my god i'm going to tell them i'm going to tell them i'm going to tell them i'm going to do it for me and i don't want to put any pressure on like oh my god i'm going to tell them i'm going to like oh i need them to be five seven or whatever else i'm just like as long as they have a job and they're happy then let's go i feel like i remember talking to you halfway through when we sat at the coffee shop yeah and i feel like you started to have an idea of what you wanted in a wife like what are some of those qualities yeah i think i love someone who's independent has a very good sense of humor um someone with tough skin and someone that loves their their work like really obsessed with what they do again it kind of comes back to you and matt like you guys are so obsessed with what you're doing and growing and building and again just like looking for my version of that yeah it's interesting because i think harry you went into this and i remember you were like i want someone who's you know going to be an amazing support and someone who can support me in my crazy life and i want to support them obviously but like i think you were kind of envisioning that maybe you were going to find someone that you both couldn't have big careers almost and i think you were almost thinking like this woman will be a great mother and i was always like we know she can still be a great mother and have her own career yeah you can do everything hello come on give your friends some props um but i think what it was interesting i think slowly throughout this experience you actually realized and i remember you saying to me like oh wait i actually think i'm such a business person and i love my work and i love my career like i think i need someone who also feels that way about their work and their job as opposed to maybe more of like uh someone who isn't doesn't have a more traditional job or whatever like i think you wanted someone with a little bit of it's nice to like go and have independent lives or else i've been in relationships where they've just been at home all day and i come back and i'm like fuck like yeah and i think it's like to each their own and i think you thought you wanted that and that's okay and i think that's what's beautiful about having all these different types of relationships is everyone watching it's like that that dynamic works really well for some people and i actually it's interesting because i think a lot of people would think that would work for you and it just it doesn't work for you yeah okay we're gonna go into a game okay fun dating deal breakers before going into this experience obviously you had one way of thinking now who you are today i want you to answer genuinely okay what you think about this okay let's see where you stand today how do you feel about someone who kisses and tells gross what no that's bad we don't do that anymore no we're not allowed to no no okay i'm not i'm not judging i'm just giggling you want me to kiss and tell no no no i love how you're always looking for me to give you the answer stick with your answer explain don't kiss and tell why because it's not i and we went through on the show like when i had sexual intercourse with them why did you just i don't know thanks you will intercourse no no i think yeah it's like pillow talking and kissing and telling is is no bueno for me would you be offended though let's say if your wife was talking to her friend group about your guy's sex life um if i'm not in the room i think it's a bit weird you know i don't know i don't know i don't know like i don't i don't think that that's like appropriate you want to be in the room with your wife and all of her friends talking about tell her tell them let them know no because i was thinking about it like i've been you know in a relationship and like their friends that come in and they're like asking about it and i'm like yeah if they're comfortable if we're all comfortable you want to know like let's go but like i don't if you're gonna go into a bar and be like oh yeah it's icky i get that okay great yeah how did you manage that in the house when girls would be arguing over you sick yeah i was like let's go no it's like it's you know it's nice that they've all got a good friendship out of this too you think they got a good friendship out of it yeah you know they have a group chat called let's divorce harry oh my god yeah they just send all my shit in there all the time because a few of them are rats so they they send it to me they always send shit back dude that is actually amazing i love those women let's divorce harry yeah it's really sad and as they all get eliminated they would get added to it and like yeah so then by the end there was a bunch of them that wanted to divorce you all 20 i'm like can i get in because i had all the film cameras from set did i tell you this no oh i bought a ton of film cameras because obviously we can't have phones so i think i bought like maybe like 50 or 60 here and i gave them to the girls and i said you'd want these memories so like take photos of each other so you can have it for later so they take photos and every week when i have the day off i'd go and get them developed and so then then i have them emailed to me so by the end of the show we had hundreds and hundreds of photos so they had a bunch of photos and i was like oh my god i'm gonna all those memories together you're so sentimental well i was just like i remember the first like all the shows i've been on and i'm like i would love to have the bts behind this obviously we can't have a phone love island they have their phones whatever but i'm like this is just so good for social stuff so did you try to get into the group to be like ladies let me in and i'll give you the photos yeah and i could also compromise i was like guys if you just won't just add me real quick i'll just send the link like what do you need like we're never adding you you lose her they didn't okay someone who has never been in love before no everyone should be in love everyone every day okay so you're not looking for someone who hasn't been in love before no why because you learn so much lessons in love and when you there we go continue this is i can't give you all the answers no you have to you have to i'm so nervous no you're doing great no i've been so you're doing really great this is this is the hardest week of my life i felt like i had a rock in my throat why because for me or just for press for i'm like they can't be me no this is fine okay okay yeah no okay one day you used to be nervous for color daddy you know what's oh i guess it's not a big of a deal anymore you've gotten too comfortable you know it's funny i was thinking i mean ask you the hard questions no be nice be nice no i was thinking i was like this is such a career highlight for so many people like this is meanwhile you're like can i go take a shit yeah i'm like alex i'm gonna come over fire up the cameras let's get the pub going okay so you don't want to be with someone who's not someone who has never been in love yeah because you learned so many lessons in love yes and that's part of life and i don't like people that haven't gone through like a bad breakup or like any trauma or anything because you learn so much in that and that's where you build your character so all these people like some of the girls on the show have had a perfect life and life's good and i wish that for them but i don't want those people around me because god forbid we have a bad day you won't know how to handle it yeah see that see see this is why we have to get you away from one word answers note to whoever your pr team is no one word answers for harry because he's gonna give you a ick or a yuck or a gross and then your actual explanation is exactly what i was looking for i agree to some people especially where you're at in life where you're looking for serious relationships yeah you don't want someone who hasn't been in love before wow because you're looking for someone who has experienced life a little bit more than maybe their first go around there we go okay am i being difficult are you being difficult yeah yeah but i'm pulling it out of you really am i being hard no you're just it's classic harry where maybe if you were on another show you or hopefully they would push you you give these answers that keep you in that oh harry jelsey lane and i'm like no you're smart maybe more and you're an intellectual i have glasses you have glasses on you've got glass on for a reason this is the first time you've ever worn glasses in the caller daddy okay episode so start speaking like you wear glasses okay i'm how do you feel about someone who also wants to be in the spotlight you know i think there's a healthy version of it an unhealthy version of it um if you want to be in the spotlight and do dating shows and whatever else probably not good for a relationship but so what are you sorry i don't know what so what's what no i've already i've already done it oh so now you're done what if they're what if they're what if they're midway through their journey enjoy okay let's get into let's marry harry let's like have we not been in it okay filming the show if i told young harry women would be so ravenous so excited for you that they would literally try to sneak into your bedroom at night how do you think young harry would have responded i probably would have done a backflip then in reality when these women tried to actually sneak into your room how does that make sense i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know how did it actually feel um it was pretty scary okay yeah no it was pretty scary from the backflip to the i'm terrified no it was scary because also my brain is like if i have sex with someone it's gonna and word gets out okay first off there was so much going on my head okay have sex with someone come quick embarrass myself then was that your was that top of the priority you think i see i think so because then it's on tv and then all the girls like oh yeah let's self damn die second harry's back die harry's a quickie hey yeah you didn't have to say that let's double down no i think that was it and then also like oh it's gonna take away from the other girls experience if we do do that and then it's like oh i have to be fully 110 i don't know why i'm jerking my finger off fully 110 on the one person i do have sexual intercourse with i see because a lot of at your brain was you were worried just about how to navigate intimacy yeah it was so hard let's talk more about the physical connection okay georgia warned you to think with your heart and your mind and not not your other parts yeah if the physical connection wasn't immediately there for you was it a red flag no because i feel like um in real life for sure but i think because everyone was so committed or mostly everyone was committed to that experience i think that um the physical component like wasn't a thing at all because i also didn't know if they were allowed to come up like sure if we're in real life and we're able to get physical you probably want to cook the whole thing so it's nice to kind of slow it down and take a step back on your most like the biggest day how many women did you make out with i think like at least like 10 or 11 yeah there's a daybed moment where they just kept coming and i didn't have to leave and i was like this is the best day ever i feel like kissing that many people that it was a lot yeah it was a lot to be honest and you know the first day i got there i i remember i think it was a group date and i was like are we am i able to kiss everyone and then and then and then we unraveled yeah we unraveled they were like maybe we should have waited a day shit you were like i'm allowed to physically hook up with someone perfect yeah like these are my fiances let's go okay one of the biggest moments in the series is as viewers we saw a walk-in that happened and it caused a lot of drama you were in the bathroom with Amber and And Sam overheard and later confronted you about it. I know that then Amber asked you to keep it a secret of what you guys did in the bathroom. And you did end up keeping that secret and you lied about it. Talk to me about that decision. See, you got angry at me about this. Let's talk through it. Okay, because on one hand. Set the scene. If people haven't watched that episode yet, go watch it, but explain it. Yeah, basically, we're getting down to the wire with the final few fiancées. And it's getting quite intense. And at these moments, the girls are finding more and more confidence to come and just seek me out and just hang out and see me. And I know with Amber in that moment, she was really questioning the whole process and was really going through it and trying to figure out if I was serious about her and serious about what was happening. And so she came up to the bedroom. And I was like, I know there's one spot where there's no cameras, obviously not good for TV, but great for mental health and to have nice conversations. And so I ran a shower and we just kind of like just started laughing and figured it out. And we ended up getting, you know, getting involved with each other. Yeah. So we ended up having sex. But one of the girls, Sam, had walked up as that was going on and heard us and thought that we were in the shower, which was a true. You were just using the shower to drown out the noise. Yeah. Yeah. Drown out the noise because obviously we were getting intimate. And then after that, because it was kind of like sealed the deal, like Amber was like, okay, cool. Like we're locked in. Like we're good. That was like a good moment for us. It was really special. But I didn't know that Sam had come up. And then also when Sam, you know, obviously she's not stupid. And like everyone figured out something was going on because she was. Because I know the girls, they had a, like, there was a moment where they would all take one of my watches and their time, how long people are up so that they knew when to come up and like switch. Did I tell you this? Wait, no. I had like five watches. I brought like so many watches and they would come up and they would take a watch. It's like, okay, cool. You have 15 minutes because they wanted to, they wanted to be fair on each other and like be systematic. But then some girls would just be like. Got them running this like a full tight ship organization. They're like. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. It was crazy. It was crazy. So then anyway, yeah. After that moment, obviously the girls felt some type of way because they want to confront me about it and me be honest, which I would have loved to. But if someone asked me to not say something and to do something, I'll have to respect it. And ultimately it was probably the best decision. Okay. So I remember guys, I'm in the show for like a second. Yeah. And I remember we met at the coffee shop and I was torn because obviously I wasn't listening. I was living in this house with you and I wasn't sitting in the television truck day in and day out. So like I was obviously getting all the reports and I was hearing what was going on. And I think what was hard is like, I agree with how you handled that in normal life situation. If you sleep with a woman and she's like, I really don't, this is not for other people to talk about. This is not for public fodder. Like, please don't. I agree. I think where the line gets really blurred when you decide to do reality television is you're kind of signing up for. We're all dating this one person. And so there needs to be some form of transparency because if we all start lying, then none of us are going to know where we're actually at with this person. And, and so Sam, I think was really genuine in that moment for being upset because it's like, so you lied about that. And I, I agree and disagree with Amber. Like, I'm like, I actually, so get it, Amber. It's so on her to be like, please don't tell anyone. It's like, what is the right answer? You could argue the right answer would have been. I hear what you're saying. I think what's difficult is I have many women downstairs who are going to demand an answer and I don't need to give them all the dirty details, but I can't just bold face lie and be like, oh, we did nothing. Because then exactly. It's also, it's on camera. So I think again, and I'm not saying Harry, if I was in your situation, I may have done the same exact thing. Cause I also think what I respect is like in that moment, clearly you and Amber were getting so close and to you that probably both of you probably felt even more bonded by being like, let's have something for ourselves and let's not tell people about this. And let's not feel like we're on a TV show. We just try to do this outside of cameras and everything. So I get it. But then I also get why Sam was upset. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It was a hard one. It was a hard one to mentally navigate too. And I think even still like having a hard time about it, but you're right. I haven't thought about it like that. Cause it's also, yeah, we signed up to just be open and honest and have that. Communication. And I probably should have put my flag in the ground a little bit on that, but I think I was just, again, so nervous to do the wrong thing and be the same guy again and again. I get that. All right. After living in a house with 20 women and let's see if you picked up on any knowledge and played the girlhood test. Easy. I got this. I'm going to show you pictures. That women use in their everyday lives. And you are going to just answer what it is. Okay. Are you ready? Go. Microblade. It's not. That's a microblade for your face. Yeah. But that was so quick. And like, I feel like I would have even fumbled like, wait, what is that thing called again? It's used to shave your face. Yeah. Does it freak you out? That girl shaved their face every night. I'm like, come on, Matt, let's do it together. He's like, Alex. No, you don't. Yeah, I've shaved my face with my husband. You got peach fuzz? Yep. Everyone does. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Okay. Your fingers are on it. What is it? Oh, is that a heat roller? No. Kind of. No. It's for your hair. It's a Dyson air wrap. Is that right? Yes. Wow. I can't tell if I'm, I'm impressed. But is this like, is this like too much of a red flag? No, this is good. Okay. Next. Next. Ready? Hair removal cream. I use it. I use it on my butt. It ruined my whole trip. I knew Nair, but I was like, does he know what it actually does? Yeah. Yeah. Cause I, cause my personal trainer, he does it on his legs. He's like, oh, you should do it. And so I did it on my legs and it felt really smooth. So I got carried away and I was like, I'll just do my whole body. And I went to Bali before I went on the flight. You Nair'd your whole body? Yeah. I did my whole body, chest, everything. And I get on the flight and my whole bum looks like hundreds and thousands. Is that what you guys call them here? Like sprinkles. Hundreds and thousands. That's what we, that's what we call them. On your bum, it looks like sprinkles. Yeah. And I was like on a scooter everywhere. And I'm like, I'm like, this is fucking horrible. You Nair'd your ass? And it's still bad. Like it still hasn't recovered and it's been months. It's been since May. You put Nair on your ass? I put it on the hole. I was like, I want to make sure I'm, I was going to see my girl. Wait, you put Nair on your asshole? Yeah. And your bum cheeks? And my nipples, like everything. You can't have that much hair on your ass cheeks. Yeah, but I just wanted to make sure that. You wanted to be really. That God forbid I, someone sees me walk around naked that I have. You know, here. A smooth bum. It doesn't go there. Your asshole? But what are these actors doing? That's like putting me putting Nair on my labia. Why would you do that? Well, I was curious. What if I was curious? No, but also like, what do these actors do to have smooth asses on these movies? Do I wax it? No, you, you definitely will wax it. This is the problem with young men today is we don't know. Let's get into this conversation. We don't know how to have smooth, non-pimply assholes. How do we do that? No one teaches you. I just. I'm going to add my whole hole, trying to figure it out. Then I've shaved it doesn't work, but then it's so I do like the, the actual buzzer and that's what works on my legs. But like, it's still not silky smooth. I need this bussy. I need this bussy silky smooth. My little man kitty, you know, I need my man cat. Nice and smooth. You never know who's going to see it. This bussy? This bussy. I always get worried that like. Is that a sting? You know what a, you know what a bussy is. Wait, do people call it a bussy? Boy pussy. Bussy. Or the jowl bussy is what people call mine. Have you not seen all my stories? Who calls it that? Mason. No, there's one guy replies to all my stories. Are you crying? This guy replies to my stories. Every confession he called, he said, is the jowl bussy off the market? And I'm like, yo, Mason, I don't know you. Like, don't speak about my puss like that. You make it so available. Oh yeah, sure. I've got it. I don't know. The jowl bussy. Yeah, jowl bussy. It's a thing. Everyone's doing it. But as the jowl see bush, the jowl see the juicy. Here's the thing is I always get worried that God forbid after we have sex or something, like I have to bend over and pick something up. Right. It's like, and then you just want to be every angle looking good. Yeah. Just in case. Like, you never know who's going to see you with your pants out. No bum fluff. But ladies, if you have it, we'll nibble on it. The fuck is that? A wax strip? Oh yeah. What's that? Oh, a nose pull. I couldn't even get this one. When my team printed this out, I was like, what is that again? Pregnancy brain right now. No. Is that not a thing? What? Okay. What did you just say? Is that not a thing? Pregnancy brain? It is, but you're not allowed to say it. I can only say it. Oh, I don't know. But I'm like. Yeah, you know I do. I have pregnancy brain. Yeah. You knew this immediately. This is my job. Why is it your job? Because I had 20 fiancés. I need to make sure. This is part of my preparation is I had Georgia in the room going, what is this? What is this? What is this? So when she comes in and she's wearing one of these, you wouldn't be scared. No, I'd be like, give me one because I got a lot of pores right now. You can do it together. I've been going through it. Okay. So then we're going to cruise through the rest of this. um face roller face roller yeah all right led red mask red face mask do you have one no they should send me one though they should do a brand deal sephora harry washer oh i hate this girls is that right that's it yes guys harry think about it like make it harder i'm so impressed kevin hart couldn't get any of it really nothing i'm smarter than kevin hart maybe i don't know he's got way more money yeah yeah yeah i think he's more focused on other things other than learning about all the guys he actually has a career okay okay we're transitioning back okay new zealand yeah you go home during the show and i know that you were very anxious because when you were going home to new zealand you were down to the final two women oh yeah and so there was a lot emotionally riding on this can you just explain what was going on and what was going through your head i think i was at such a hard point you know i was at such a hard point i was at such a hard point um in the whole experience because number one i'm going back to new zealand basically a year on since my dad had died and then also seeing my sisters and their family like the last time i saw them was at his deathbed so i had the heaviness of the reality of that setting in and that my dad's actually dead um and then also the reality of like holy shit i have these two incredible people that would love to marry me and i don't know who who's better or who's better for me and i i know in those moments i was really struggling to figure out what i was doing and like is this the right decision am i if i go either way it's gonna be a great life no matter what but then also i was so torn i remember even once we come back from new zealand i was like i was more upset i wasn't excited about the idea of getting married i was more upset about hurting someone and i think that was the hardest thing is and i'm usually if you're about to marry someone like you should know like i took like some of the friends on like the bachelor and they're like yeah i knew from the first day and i think that was what was fucking me up it's because i'm trying to balance this grief where i've never felt before and then also go wait i should know at this point when i didn't know yeah yeah i remember you also telling me like i know i have so just i'm still grieving and i don't even know if i fully even grieved in a way that i don't know like what is grief and like how do you know when you where you are in that process and you're like and on top of it going back i'm going to feel so many emotions so then adding in these two women that i'm already so stressed it was like this beautiful storm of just a lot of emotions for you and i remember the producers texting me when you guys got there and they were like oh wow he's really in his feels yeah i remember the plane touched as soon as the plane hit uh nelson new zealand tears i couldn't stop crying and i really struggled to breathe and i was like holy fuck like oh this is real like the thing is it's kind of like this show when it comes out it's like you just have so much anticipation and as soon as you get there it's like it just releases and like i remember being in new zealand i'm like oh my god wow and then seeing my sisters and like fuck like it's been a year so excited to see them being be in those like that was also the hardest thing is because we'd be driving around um nelson new zealand and a lot of those streets were like last time i was there was with my dad in the car like we drive past mcdonald's and i was like fuck that was the last place i had mcdonald's and that was with him and then i was like oh we drive a little bit past there's a gas station i was like oh he was cleaning the car window there so i was the whole day i was just like looking around because again don't have my phone it's like usually if you're in a car you're just texting on whatever else not on my phone i'm sitting there like taking it all taking it all in and then going holy fuck i remember um the two dates that we had and i looked to the producers i was like i i can't like i legitimately cannot do this like i'm trying my best here and and i felt like with danelle on our date like i'm taking away from her experience like she's first time in new zealand this is so exciting and it's meant to be a beautiful day but i just couldn't like i kept shutting down and i was trying and i remember just like grabbing them i was like can i just i need to be alone i was like i wish i came a day early and just sat by myself and processed it um but thank god i was able to thankfully like they gave me a day to myself um they took me to a beach uh or actually i drove i remember this beach and it was the last beach that i went to with my dad and i remember walking on the beach and i was the only one in jeans and a sweater and i remember i went sat on this rock and i just looked around i was like oh wow this is like this is happening this is so crazy so real and then the most powerful emotion that i've ever felt in my life like fully just like dumped i think it was like the weight of the show grieving my dad being like feeling his presence and his energy and being on that rock and i remember i was just weeping for so long i've never weeped like that i'm like oh this is so crazy like that's the best thing about grief it's like it just overwhelms you and your whole body and i love the feel like i loved that i was able to grieve i was i love that i was able to sit there and just feel like i was wailing and carrying on because it was so special because after that all the pain and like and the tears and going through like i felt so good i think that's also what i'm really excited for people as they watch this show to experience again it's like you really were in such a different you're in a different phase of your life yeah and it's horrific what you had to go through with your dad and i feel like now knowing you for as long as i've known you i also think correct me if i'm wrong but what also i feel like was coming up for you harry before you left when we were talking is a little bit like you didn't have this love story you grew up watching between your mom and your dad fully and so like you talk about looking at people that you're you've become close with and you're you're trying to find people that you want to emulate their relationship or take parts of it matt and i and your friends and all those people but i think losing your dad and then also having these two women sitting there in new zealand with you it must have been so overwhelming to be like oh my god like i i'm there's a lot that i'm still grieving just by losing my father but then i'm also trying to find the love of my life and marry someone but i'm still trying to figure out what that even looks like for me because i didn't exactly have a perfect example of that growing up and so like there was a lot interconnected almost yeah yeah i don't recommend it yeah honestly and i agree obviously they won't see the amount of time that everyone gave you but i'm happy that you did get some time to yourself to like grieve and just try to relax a little yeah we hit the lottery with that crew like they were amazing yeah and you know what's really cool my favorite thing my favorite thing about the whole show ever was that when we went to new zealand they hired so much local crew and like for me i'm like oh this is so cool because now we get like all these jobs here but also some of the guys that were on the crew i did my first ever dating show with when i was 19 it was all full circle yeah i remember the guy was doing my sound i was like why do i know you and then he's like bro we worked together we worked together so long yeah and i was like what a nice way to close the loop so i felt like it was all like all these synergies and all these amazing things but i was like it was such a beautiful thing but then also on that rock and i know this isn't in the show but when i was sitting there though throughout the whole show and the whole experience i'm asking for so many signs from my dad and like the b thing so like um and i guess to give some color on that is me and my dad used to be keep when we were younger and before he'd passed i said i'm gonna get a little b pendant and um to like every time i think about him or anytime i see a b i'm gonna think about him um obviously uh didn't get a b pendant but i turned him into a little diamond which was nice but um on the show i would always see b's around amber like that always pop up like always and i remember there was a i think it's in the show so i'm not ruining anything um but when we're we did our first overnight there was like a b that flew all the way up to that penthouse and landed and then even i don't actually don't know if i told you this the first date before we're walking to the yacht um i was in in the car with parisa my producer and i'm like oh i just need to go to the toilet before we go on the yacht and i remember walking to this it was marina del rey i was walking to the urinal and i was like fuck dad like i i don't i don't know if this is the right decision i don't know if i'm doing the thing like i swear to god i said it out loud dad if this is the right decision show me a sign and i'm walking the urinal and i swear to god i'm peeing and i look down someone put a b sticker on the urinal and i was like okay this is all good there was another thing so then obviously the scene i saw b's around amber's family i saw b's the next day when we went to new zealand i was on that rock and and i i guess this is the best advice to anyone that's lost someone it's just you just ask for signs and you will see them and they will show up no matter what and it's so and then if you think you're crazy then that's all good but at least you feel good but i was on that rock and i was telling my dad i'm like dad i've seen so many b's but they're everywhere it's fucking stupid like it's a stupid sign because they're everywhere so i'm always thinking about you it's like show me something i haven't seen in since i was a kid i need to see a dragonfly right swear to god okay is that crazy that harry that is i love that too for anyone listening i agree when i've always talked to is like having that sign it's so comforting and it just makes me so happy because obviously spoiler alert everyone but like you chose amber yeah and so it did end up you know working out in the show that you chose this person um i want to talk more about you guys in that relationship yeah because obviously getting married to someone is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make in your life what do you think initially really drew you to each other you know i think amber was um in that environment still so like free and unique like it's a very like for her spirit very free-spirited person i grew up in hawaii um very go with the flow energy and in that environment where there's chaos and there's drama and there's girls yelling at each other the fact that she was able to keep that was like really incredible and just like a breath of fresh air in a chaotic environment like that how do you think that you felt like your relationship as it progressed started to differ from your relationship with other women like what made you feel like it was maybe a little bit stronger we would have so much more fun you know we would have those moments where she would open up and tell me about what's going on in her life and make it just so incredibly safe to talk about what was going on mine and even when we're in new zealand and i was i was like oh i just need to see amber because she's been through grief like this before and um she made it just so easy and fun and that was the coolest thing so obviously you were down to danelle and amber you had told both women that you loved them which i know you were like i never expected to get to a place where i was telling two women i love them but i think it gives people a lot i think we're now acclimated to that with reality television that like we seen so many people be like guys i'm telling you it's the craziest thing but like when you're in these experiences you actually can be in love with two women and you're like oh my god i'm going to be in love with two people um when you did choose amber what were the main factors that went into that decision that was the the most difficult thing because that day before i didn't sleep the night before like legitimately no sleep i was so distraught by the idea so my brain i love to overthink so i was panicking about the idea of having to break someone's heart in front of their friends and family um and that's what was really like that's what really sucked so it was honestly really difficult like and my family didn't help either because my sisters loved both of them and they had such a good time it was it was tough like i remember even up until the the moment i'm like i don't know what's going on like there's always i was always second guessing it which is not fair on amber either like even in the like yeah at those final like it's not fair on anyone to to be second guessed no but i think this is good as people will watch obviously what things and fallouts and all of this are going to come i think it's good no but i i think it's good to hear yeah your headspace because i to be honest like i would hate to hear that if i was amber or you know danelle like i think it it gives more clarity into where your head was at where like you were so torn and you really weren't fully leaning towards someone at the end of this no i don't think it's horrible i think it's honest i think i think and and unfortunately i think you have to you have to be honest i'd rather you be honest than be like it was such an easy decision it was amber all the way like i remember the day before you were like i literally don't know who to pick and you were you were asking understandably like production everyone like what who do you guys think i should pick like you were so in your head you were like someone give me feedback and and to everyone's credit they were like harry this is on you i remember you were still telling basically just before the wedding danelle that you still you loved her and you were like i don't know who to pick and you were like i don't know who to pick yeah how did you navigate those lingering feelings when you then went into the wedding with amber you know i i think a wedding is like heavy enough on a good day you know like there's there's so much that goes into it with that and then also having like hey like i really love and care about this other person too it was horrible like it wasn't it was so unfair on both of them um and even myself to a degree but it's obviously you know it's it's it's it's it's it's you know i was in it um but i remember even i was having the biggest panic attack when they're like okay you have to make a decision now you have to walk into a room and tell one of them i couldn't believe what was going on like i was pacing i'm like please like i need i don't know what to do like i'm freaking out and again like it's so so unfair on both of them and it was it was hard to be excited about the wedding because i knew that someone was sitting in a hotel room with a broken heart and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go to the wedding and i'm gonna go to the wedding and i'm so that was difficult because i'm meant to be having the happiest moment of my life but then also being sad because i've just broken someone's heart but it would have been the same either way like if i chose to know i still would have been freaking out it could have been anyone and i still would have been like because i guess a younger version of myself would have just been like fuck it all good like let's just ride but like for now especially to go through that and for them to see me at my weakest in new zealand and then to be like all right actually i'm gonna give you this feeling it's horrible yeah i remember um something that your friends said on the show is they brought up that you know you and amber have very different lifestyles yeah did you consider that at all a red flag not on her part but just both of your just as the dynamic and your compatibility when you were going into choosing her i don't know to be honest i think we were it it sucks it was so it's so exciting um again like it could have been like both of them give two very different lifestyles and two very different lives so yeah i don't know i'm i didn't even consider it i was just like there was already so many thoughts and feelings yeah yeah there's already so much going on in my head yeah i get it it's like you're in this filming bubble and i think honestly i think that becomes one of the biggest issues when you look at reality television of like people try so hard to do this but it's hard to like you can try but then you actually have to go live it and sometimes it's really hard to make that work really hard after filming you and amber had to keep your relationship private until the show aired as a public person how did that go for you terrible we were on dumois and it wasn't me leaking oh my god harry's like trust me i would have loved to leak i was like why did you text me first and you didn't leak it to do more no i didn't you know it was it was so frustrating so we went to um we went to hawaii to see your friends and family and again like my brain you know you've just married someone and you want to do life you want to experience everything you want to go see everything i remember we were sitting at breakfast in the hotel and someone had taken a photo of the back of her head and my face and i was like i was like oh we're fucked like now we can't do anything because like now they know like thank god they didn't get the front of her face right because you can't spoil the whole show and i think that's what's really really hard about reality tv is like other than love island who's doing it in the moment and they've got i can't imagine how many editors they have in a room like these shows you then have to basically not see your partner for a while and when you do it has to be in really confined spaces and also trusted spaces too it's like when we go to see our friends and family like okay cool we're like trusted here but if we go to like a restaurant to pick up a coffee or something like it'd have to be so brief and so quick because if someone sees me and goes wait who's that girl he's would take a photo and it ends up on a tea page we're kind of cooked so when we went to australia because i want her to come see my friends and family but i'm going to be smart about it i'm going to fly in a few hours early i'm going to check in the hotel she's going to fly in a couple hours after i'm going to get a car so immediately pick her up and then we go to the hotel so i'm thinking i've got this bulletproof plan and the next day we're going to drive to my and we're going to be all good swear to god i pick her up from the airport we're driving back to the hotel a fucking pipe burst in the hotel and the elevators go down it's like it was like 3 a.m 3 a.m or 2 a.m so i'm like oh no one will see us i'm already panicking because the hawaii shit just happened so i'm panicking that like people are going to see us or people are going to know us obviously i'm not as famous as i thought it was because my guys where's the paparazzi no no you're like hello yeah i'm not as famous as i thought i was because i'm like guys where's the paparazzi yeah guys there was no one waiting at the airport when i got in i'm australia i'm home um but so we get to the hotel and she's like got her bags and stuff and i was like can i just take it up the staircase like no everything's flooding so i'm like fuck what do we do we go and like hide in a corner and she's obviously exhausted because she just traveled so early and like falls asleep on my lap thank god her face was facing this way someone walks around the corner i'm on my phone like this like exhausted at like fucking 3 a.m snaps a photo of us walks away ends up on some french tea page on reddit and i was like get another call from netflix like what are you doing right and it's like the only thing you want to do when you just you just got married you're you're you're in love you know you're feeling it you're like i just want to like go to a coffee i just want to hang out with my wife hang out with my wife and i literally can't do that yeah obviously so much it's i feel like every reality show it's like so much happened in the reality show and then so much has gone down since them yeah and we are going to see all of it play out on the reunion okay okay i'm fucking scared you shouldn't be smiling i know lucky i'm not hosting it um no they asked i'm scared of alex no no alex doesn't need this i don't need to be doing this i'm pregnant but like you'll get cooked don't worry um no but i am excited for you to i don't know go through that process is is there anything you're nervous about is there anyone you're nervous to see you know i believe that i've had a really good um relationship with all the girls even up until now like danelle we she would text me basically every other day worried about something and wanting to talk through things because and i explained to the girls like hey i am here no matter what and i said to danelle like you can feel free to speak however you feel about me obviously like she was the one at the end who had like the most heartbreak and i'm like if you want to drag me all good fine i'll always be here it's all good no worries at all and i said to all the other girls like no matter what if you need i'm here like i know this is like a new scary world for you and obviously i've been in it so that's all good um so i'm not worried about anything because whatever they want to say or whatever they feel called to say i would love for them to just do it and like let's put it all on the table that's fine obviously um and obviously they're going to see things on the show maybe how i talk or whatever else like maybe that girl at the start that just wanted followers like she's probably not gonna appreciate that but maybe that might be her moment to get more followers so like if everyone gets what they want then that's all good i'm not worried about anything i'm just more worried about hurting or upsetting people because i'm in such a good place in my life now and everything's perfect and i wouldn't want to affect that at all um i just wouldn't want to affect that i just would want that like everyone gets what they need out of it and that we're all good and we can move on and i love this approach like i love how you think this reunion you're like and it's going to be beautiful and we're going to love this and it's going to be such a good cathartic experience meanwhile i'm like these women may be coming with pitchforks and you better buckle up mr jousey oh what reunion is calm chill cool calm and collected not yours what not yours i mean no way i mean no no i am going to be so sat for this reunion and i will say this as your friend i remember getting ready for your wedding which you dressed like it was a funeral by the way i i was gonna ask if you remembered that yeah you fucking i showed up uh-huh i showed up to harry's wedding and i literally was like i dressed for a funeral because we are basically laying to rest the fuck boy harry and we are it's a rebirth essentially and i really do genuinely stand by this when i say when i got ready that morning after watching you go through this whole process i really knew that and i'm not i both women were such incredible choices no matter who you chose what i knew before even wedding or no wedding i knew that you had changed and i could feel it i think this process you went in and that's why i thought it was so important to talk about in the beginning harry like you genuinely went into this experience and you wanted to be better you wanted to change you wanted to find your person like you were pouring into yourself in a way that you never had before and you were also so open and you wanted it and watching you go through the pain and the heartbreak and grieving your father and looking at these relationships in a different way taking accountability messing up along the way being in the back and crying to producers like we saw a side of you that i was like this is breaking him almost in a way that he's rebuilding himself by the end and so i showed up for the funeral because i was like no matter what happens today genuinely yeah who he picks if he picks neither of them truly i matt and i both went we like he may not get married today but he is a different person today than when he went into this experience for the best and i think that no matter what that was a win for you because i do not believe we will ever see the version of you that predated the show like you've just grown you're a different person now thank you of course hopefully see what harry no now let me now let me here you go so i just said all that so don't let anyone clip that no in a couple months from now and be like alex cooper you are the biggest clown he is back to his ways i'm gonna be like don't prove me wrong i will do you proud harry jousey i can't wait for the reunion i wish you the best of luck and i don't know yeah get out of my studio okay goodbye love you