Hard or Soft?

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Blackberry Bob requires bespoke mobilization, slays Swedish Stages, then asks the eternal question. Withered Wade performs with a strained tibiofemoral, celebrates matrimony, becomes a journeyman, and has vanilla turds. Decycling Mark witnesses cons, splits stuff, eats taco ass, reminisces an anus, and a capricula. From Mark moaning to I be sailing, it's time for Hard or Soft. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of your podcast. Podcast's favorite uncle, that's right, this is Distractible. That's a little early, you just started with it. Alright, I'm your host, because I won the last one, because I was so much funnier than Mark that now he can't handle it, and he's being a little baby about everything. Competitors for today, just like always, are Mark and Wade. Mark is the one who's going. You can't prove that to the listeners. That was Wade. That was all Wade. That was Wade. Listeners, believe what you will, but it was Mark. They are highly influenced, easily influenced, as some might say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, am I right? Only I'm allowed to be mean to the listeners, okay? If there's one thing I've learned so far from this, it's that I am Wade. You just learned that? Yeah. Pretty impressive. Wow. I've been going around saying my name is Markiplier for the last ten years. Really awkward. He explains why people treat you so weird. Anyway, if you've never seen the show before, we just revised the concept. Which we have one of. It's not weird. And in the first episode, we already didn't know if we revised it right or not. No, no, come on. You didn't. We did. We have a plethora of new rules, and they're going to be fine. That's why we have Congress in the first place. Our Congress, anyway. I don't remember making Congress. We made Congress. Oh. Trust us, bro. Did anyone ever trust anyone that said, trust me, bro? I didn't say bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. That's character assassination. Well, now you're dead, so I guess I get the right history for you. He's assassinating my character. All right. Mark, you get a dead point. Do I get, like, an assassin point? Wade, you get an assassin point. Woo-hoo! Welcome back to another episode. I have. I'm going to call it a sequel. It's not really a sequel, but I have a sequel episode here today that I'm really excited about. And I think it's going to be a fun time. Before we get into that, how are you guys doing? You guys small talks? I do. I'll go second. All right, Wade, on the spot. What do you got? Well, well, well. Welcome back, everyone. I have been playing a lot of the Diablo 4 recent expansion, Lord of Hatred. And I think I told you all. I think I told you all last week. It's one of the better Diablo stories I think we've ever gotten. I just. I thought it was really well told. I thought we got a lot of lore, a lot of backstory, and a lot of interesting stuff. And I was really engrossed in it and really been enjoying it. I even went back and installed Diablo 2 because I was like, man, I'm just feeling that Diablo itch. I've been real Diablo. Otherwise, weather's been good. A couple of weeks ago, I went out and played basketball with my nephew. Couldn't last Monday. My left knee has been like a little off. I was like, man, I think I like strained an MCL or something. Or one of those three-letter things that's in your knee. And then yesterday, my nephew was like, hey, you wanna play basketball again? I was like, man, I just started walking normally again. Yes, let's do it. Now I'm not walking normally again today. Go figure. Apparently, you need more than two or three weeks at our age to heal, which is very sad. I'm walking around like a pirate. But I had fun. And the weather's been beautiful. It was a little hot yesterday. But otherwise. God, it's been so nice. I can't breathe. My allergies are killing me. But like, I like sunlight. I might be a plant. I didn't know it, but I think I might be a plant. I think I might survive on photosynthesis. I think Wade's an industry plant. I could be. Oh, shit. Bob, you want a GoPro? Very much. Way more than Mark does. Can I please be an industry plant? Can I please? I'll find a way. I've been growing some GoPros in my garden, Bob. I'll have to harvest. I'm going to send it your way. Perfect. Man, if their marketing department had any brains. No, Wade, I can't insult them. God, I can't do that. Wade, no. If their marketing department could get their head out of their ass long enough to see what's good for them. No, no, no, no, no. Please, please, please, please, please. Please, please, please. No, I mean, that's. Well, it sounds like you're going to need a new knee any day now, Wade. But that's. Other than that, that's, you know, that's good. So, tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow. As of the episode coming out, not when we're recording it, Molly and I will have been married for eight years. So, we're celebrating that. So, we had the podcast anniversary, the Us anniversary. So, May is a busy month. But five years podcast, eight years of marriage, and more years than that dating. I can't do the math. But whenever 2012 was. At least eight years of dating. Greater than or equal to. As a good husband and partner, I know those numbers. I'm just keeping them to myself. Yeah, that's private information. Yeah. Mark, do some small talk while I calculate those numbers real quick. All right. So, my small talk is, once again, related to the Cannes Film Festival. Because I have a story from there that I didn't tell. I was saving it. Because I was very tired and whatnot. But the experience of getting there is fine. You know, I can get there and it's all good and whatever. But I arrive and they've arranged a driver, right? And so, I've been through this. Very, very famous. I have experiences. I've been through this before. Obviously. We all have, right? Right. Yeah, all the time. Where they have your name on the big iPad and they're like. One of those triple length limos where it's just you in it. But it's like nine rows of seats. Exactly. I mean, that's what I was used to. And I'm sure that's what you have had in your experience. And, of course, in my mind. Call it the ego holler. The ego holler? Yeah, that's good. That's good. The ego is down. The ego is down. Sorry. Ego has landed. I get you. I am. I am. Don't laugh at him. Don't laugh at him. Wait for me. Wait for me. The giggle bus. Please. I need to get on. All right. So, I get down there and the guy's there. His name is Nicholas and he's very nice. And he's part of a company called Taxi Moto. And I'm like, okay, this is great. All right. Awesome. So, he leads me out over to the parking garage. I'm like, cool. I'm used to this. Star treatment. I get there and we go past all the cars that are parked there. And we keep walking. And we're now fully past all the cars. And we keep walking. And I'm looking around like, oh, interesting. And we turn a corner and we go around and we go through this little turnstile like this. And then I keep, I think, oh, I must be in the next parking garage. And I was like, nope. We come up to a motorcycle. And I'm just like, Taxi Moto. Taxi Moto cycle. But it was fine. It was actually lovely. I make it sound like awful because I used to ride in LA. I did motorcycle a little bit until I had a close call. So, it's not like I was nervous or anything, but it's just, it's one of those things where it's like with the going to Iceland and the Blue Lagoons, like the first thing there, it's like, oh, I wasn't, wasn't prepared for this. I was expecting to sleep in like a cab or something on the way over there. And it's like, I didn't want to fall asleep on the back of a motorcycle. Why not? Oh, you know, just, but it was, it was really nice. Actually, he had his own, he had a jacket for me, had gloves for me, a hat. He made me put on a hairnet just in case for all my lace. And then I put on the helmet. Yeah. Yeah. We all got it. We all have lace. Yeah. We all, it's kind of a thing for us. I don't know, man. I don't know what they cling to on me. Beard lice. Yeah. Bice. Yeah. Anyway, so it was really nice because number one, I was very attentive because obviously you're on a motorcycle and you, you know. Oh, I thought you were like giving him a massage. Like you were attending him while he drove you around. Yeah. Well, he's very stressed out. I want him to be relaxed on this. I was attentive back. But it's like, you know, you, you, you got to kind of hold on because you got the handlebars there and it was nice. It was like, it was a little thing with that armrest and it had like hand grips. And all kinds of things. And, uh, I got to see all of cans when otherwise I would have literally fallen asleep in a taxi. I was that tired. And, uh, it was, it was very pleasant. So I recommend anybody who wants to, and also on the way back to the airport, this guy saved me like 30 minutes in traffic because I mean, he was lane splitting the whole time, but I, I, I also did that. If anyone was like a first time riding a motorcycle, they might've had, you know, might've been a little scared for them, but it's like, it's totally fine. Cause it'll be terrifying for a normal person. If they hadn't done it before, I could see that, but it's like, also it helped a lot. He, he knew what he was doing and, uh, he was like, or I told them that I used to ride in LA. So that's probably maybe while he was more comfortable with doing that. Cause he tried to make sure. Um, but it was, it was, he got me to that airport and it was like bumper to bumper traffic the entire way over there. So it was, it was really, uh, it really helped out a lot. I might've missed my flight. Can you imagine the view if you had a GoPro to record your drive over there on that motorcycle? That's what I was thinking too. I was going to, oh, I forgot. I was going to bring that up because I was like, oh my God, this would be so perfect for this. I kept asking because I'm like, I'm going to these places that I can film some cool things. And God, I tried to get my phone out and I was just like, should the wind went like this a little bit? I'm like, nah, I'm not going to do that. Just not going to put that right back, right back in my pants, man. It would have been so pretty. Cause it was like beautiful blue waters, all these boats, like seaside road. They were going along. Oh, it was gorgeous. It would have been perfect. Mark will go back to con for four hours. he'll fly he'll get out he'll all he'll do is get out of the airport ride around on a motorcycle for an hour and a half filming stuff straight back into a plane but he'll do anything i presume i know this isn't the sort of thing that's planned by people who like they know who you are and it's so it's like thought i just think it would be fucking hilarious if not that anyone does this but if i if someone was like oh bob you should go to this thing and they booked me you know to go to a thing and i get to the airport and if you can't tell on camera i'm fucking huge i'm really tall i'm six foot four but i'm also like just a huge dude and i did ride i had a motorcycle in college and i'm familiar i would be totally cool on a motorcycle but like i just show up and the guy with the motorcycle is like oh uh yeah hot yeah um hmm i don't know what the weight limit is for my motorcycle interesting you're just you're like a perfectly adequately averaged height normal size person thank you thank you sir thank you sir thank you mr host thank you i'm sure that no one you know that no one is going to book me a motorcycle taxi if they're if it's something where it's like i'm on you know they want me to at this event for a thing and but it just would be hilarious i show up and the guy's just like all right i'm on the back i guess he just starts screaming just it's like a cartoon i get i climb up on the motorcycle first it just goes oh no i feel like people in europe are smaller than us bob i feel like like the average height is a little bit smaller in europe way smaller than me you might look really tall over there but there are tall europeans i don't think there are very many europeans that are the size around than i am having been there several times i could tell you i do feel like i stick out i can't remember how tall people were but i feel like man when we were up on that stage in europe everyone not on the stage looks smaller than us yeah they're sitting down they're sitting down they're sitting down so yeah and they were lower some of those stages were the same height as the audience i think man some of the places we did shows in europe were funny it was fine but it was like we showed up and they're like yeah yeah this is the stage uh it's a big room and there's chairs on this side and you guys go on this side we've never used it for a stage before but it's absolutely a stage for you right now it's like whatever man i remember one of those like in the u.s i don't remember one of those in europe then again i've got a terrible memory there was a stage but wasn't it in oslo where it was literally like in the corner of a much larger room they just set up a stage and some chairs and we're like you guys do your little show over there might have been in uh sweden it was what was one of those anyway that's pretty fun that's crazy though i wonder how common that is because i know like zipping around on on motorbikes or you know like scooters or whatever is more common in especially in cities in europe maybe but i still feel like a lot of people would show up and be like i'm not fucking riding a motorcycle like what the hell i'd be one of the i've never been on one and i don't know that i i don't have the balls for it if you've never done it before i get why that would be scary yeah because even if you're on the back you i i mean probably they're used to people not like helping leaning in the right direction or something uh you know or completely opposite they're like trying to go this way there everyone tries to sit upright as the bike leans over they're just like no no i've just seen too many of like the fail army type videos where there's assholes that like open their car doors and shit the motorcycles like i so scared of like someone doing that i mean it's not gonna happen on the highway but yeah i totally get on the cities i don't know man some people are crazy everyone's crazy everywhere lane splitting is a funny thing for those who don't know lane splitting is when motorcycles drive down between lanes of cars because they can fit because they're tiny because i kind of come down on both sides of it because as a person who's ridden a motorcycle i'm like yeah why would i not do that if it's legal which it is in a lot of places some places it's not and if you do it where it's illegal then you should get a ticket probably but if it's legal like it is in california why would i not do that that's very convenient but as a person who drives a car 99 of my life i'm like why the fuck would you do that you're gonna get yourself killed you crazy ass motorcycle douchebags i don't know i come down on both sides you said you lane split when you road mark well i mean i did for a while and then i had a close call doing lane splitting i was like you know what i don't know if i ever need this really i don't know if this is for me like on nice weather days most people like put their arms out stretch their arms like feel the i'd be like i don't get clotheslined or take off someone's arm i don't know i will say one of the things about lane splitting is you're not supposed to go 120 down the highway between cars that are doing like 75 you're supposed to go slightly faster than the flow of traffic so dudes on sport bikes who lane split at a thousand miles an hour that's still uncool even if it's legal wherever they're doing that but safely lane splitting is a thing you could do that that's fair that's fair this guy though this one's like doing wheelies no he was yeah well i imagine the professional taxi service was doing wheelies and tricks and shit mark's head is like one foot off the ground the whole way i was actually his i was his brace against the ground he was using my head as like you know make sure you didn't flip all the way back so you know he duct taped the wheel to the back of your helmet just in case yeah he actually put like that paper on matchbox so i sparked on the way out it was really cool actually from what i could see if my gopro was there if i had a gopro if you had a gopro imagine we could have seen so cool shots i could i could and unless there's more small talk should we get to the game game game game this is a spiritual successor to a game that we played previously called big or small where we talked about if we would rather have big or small versions of things this one is hard or soft okay all right makes more sense than it sounds like it does because i gotta be honest i read this in my notes and was like it's a fucking weird idea that's not a thing it'll be fine it's good if you guys think of anything that you would like to debate this is kind of an open debate one it's not really like a kind of game back and forth as much as i just want to talk about all these different things the first one i have here might be contentious but ignore your personal preference for this specific thing i just want to talk about if you would prefer hard or , soft, tacos maybe it's a taco filled with food that you really really like maybe it's like a hamburger taco it doesn't have to be in a way it has mixed feelings about tacos that's fine but just the harder softness of it hard or soft tacos i'm going to stand on a soapbox here for my wife and say she likes crunchy tacos therefore hard tacos soft i'll tell you why if i'm allowed no i'll allow it oh okay all right okay it's because there's a good idea and then there's the execution of the idea and a hard taco is a good idea conceptually it photographs well it looks appetizing the second you have to actually encounter that you realize the fundamental flaw in the human design our mouths are not vertical and then you have to encounter the other fundamental flaw of the structural design of the thing that if as soon as you bite the cracks which propagate through a hard shell taco go almost entirely propagate down the bottom of it so that the entire ass of the taco falls out the first bite or it cracks in half that way and the same effect is there it has to be when a lot of restaurants put the wet delicious but wet like heavy meat ingredients or other stuff in the bottom completely ruining the structural integrity of the crunchy taco shell yeah 100 and it's it's just like it's it needs to be supplemented with like a cardboard box or something like that to just aid in the whole process and it just makes it difficult and when i'm eating i can't be bothered with all of that as i'm whipping through traffic eating my tacos can i just say this question was a trap because i know the actual factual correct answer but you point out a good thing mark you're right you know what i would generally go for soft tacos you know it's one of my favorite crunchy tacos the doritos loco crunchy tacos you know why because it comes with its own cardboard sheath so when you're eating it you you stick out just enough you take a bite and it doesn't matter that it fucking disintegrates into a million piece it's in a little thingy it's contained it's fine it's great but the correct answer is i forget what they're called exactly i think there's a thing i've seen at restaurants that are not taco bell but taco bell has these as well it's a crunchy taco shell with a soft taco shell glued to the outside with cheese i don't know is that is that what they call a gordita crunch is that what that because you get all the good stuff about a crunchy taco it's crunchy it's delightful it's like eating really it's like eating a nacho sandwich which we all know i like but it's glued together it's like safety glass when you bite it and the crunchy taco shell disintegrates into dust it's fine because there's a soft taco shell there to save everything look if you want a soft taco we have something called a sandwich or a bun that already exists here's a quote from john a shed that i think will ring true a ship in harbor is safe but that is not what ships are built for a crunchy taco may be a mess waiting to happen but it's an adventure worth it embarking because it is the journey that matters more than the destination and with food they both pretty much matter a lot but that crunchy exploration that that's that's the idea the epitome of taco whereas listen me as a non-taco guy give me that bun all day but you think taco you think crunch i know i think soft wrong i think smoosh you know smoosh get a hamburger bun in full the hot dog a hot dog a taco oh god where are we going i think i need to remind people of the quote from ib salen who was on board the titanic when its crunchy shell was fractured by that mouth of an iceberg and all of its contents came spilling out a gordita crunch is just trying to be a soft taco to appease to those weirdos and freaks of nature that enjoy a crunchy taco look i appreciate the doritos locos if i have to endure the indignity of a hard shell taco i will approach one with my mouth and bring it near me but i will not say i imbibed bring it near me what the hell kind of weird victorian taco experience are you having i have experienced hard shell tacos but i did not imbibe okay so the titanic was crunchy and sank but if i throw bread into the water you know what happens birds eat it and it's bad for them so if i put a wet thing in the water what's going to happen we're gonna kill ocean life put a pin in this because we're gonna get around to boats don't even worry about that oh man i really love soft boats that one i had a strong opinion about this next one i can't decide i need you to help me oh we're here hard or soft ice cream i don't mean like fucking ice cubes with flavor in them i mean soft serve ice cream or like udf graters scooped hard ice cream out of the cooler which one i've worked there for a while so i will defer and let mark go first before i destroy his incorrect opinion because i don't know if i can pick and i want someone to tell me what to think uh so we're talking like from a machine where you pull the lever and it goes yeah like soft serve like and you make the little turd cone and then or you make like a milk you know whatever thank you for bringing up my main point the turd cone you can't make the glorious shape ignore everything i said about the taco around it's all about appearances about presentation you have to have the picturesque shape of the triangle going down cone if you will and then the cone coming up it's symmetry in nature if it has the two you can't get two i don't care about neapolitan it doesn't exist that's basically it's a freak of nature it's a random chance but having the two swirl of color spiral spiraling down so elegantly reminisces me that's how you use the word reminisces me yeah yeah of the days of unisonis with its spirals and i think it's uh i think it's important for our culture what is your answer it was like billy madison where everything you said made me feel stupider by the end drift into the finish line of something i could just coast i ran out of gas halfway through and i was like oh god i was like oh he's going for real life ice cream he didn't mention real ice cream once what does he feel that brought up an experience that maybe is affecting my opinion here do you know what is one of the most disappointing things i've experienced about ice cream previously what's that i went to a i think it was a derrick we went to like we were getting like a summer treat right and i as a kid i was always hardcore i would either get chocolate or vanilla but there was a point where i was like why would i not just get twist both is the best because then you get some and i went we went to this place where we're like let's get ice cream and we're getting and i got a twist cone which is supposed to be that that half and half chocolate vanilla they fucking gave me an ice cream cone with one turd of vanilla and one turd of chocolate on top of it it was soft serve they just like didn't the like the machine was broken or something they gave that to me and i was like i don't know ice cream could make me feel rage like what the fuck is this this isn't a twist cone at all i've never been more sad about ice cream specifically probably been more sad about other stuff you got highs you got lows but you only felt so sad because you could feel so happy from the soft because i knew what was possible all right wayne so as someone who worked in ice cream for well i don't know if i whatever his position was i don't know hey see you deferred to me i should use i get to pick i did and i still don't know what position you have so i'm gonna give mine i worked at united dairy farmers for a year and i can tell you the soft serve machine was a giant pain in the ass it was a huge machine that sat took up a huge amount of space and we had two little like areas where we'd pour in these little half gallons right you had our vanilla our chocolate or we'd have seasonal like peach or something so we'd have different ones we'd have one side we get a half gallon of vanilla soft serve liquid you pour it in the top something fucking happens and it becomes vanilla soft serve you get your chocolate you pour it in the other side some weird magic happens and it becomes chocolate then you have a third nozzle which is your twist where the two combine and that's how you get your twist so yeah if you're if that's broken i don't know how you get a twist other than a turd of vanilla and a turd of chocolate because that's not how you can't just wouldn't make a solid cone i don't care why i care that that happened to me and it was tragic i don't disagree with you so that's how your soft serve stuff works then you go to clean the machine it's not pleasant like the vanilla side's fine but the chocolate side every time you clean it you have to rinse it with like water we'd clean it every day we cleaned the soft serve machine every day and watching just like the chunks of chocolate that weren't fully liquid that would stick to the sides and look like splatter in the top it made soft serve really unappealing to me whereas with you know normal ice cream or hard ice cream whatever you want to call it you always know what you're gonna get i mean if someone leaves it out it doesn't do a good job or covers it properly you can get like freezer burn and then it's bad but you can scrape off it off freezer burn to get to the good part if you eat ice cream like a normal person and you take care of it it's consistent it's better there's a lot more options for flavor the one thing i guess you could say about soft serve is you can make like the what like the blizzards from dairy queen and stuff where it's a lot easier to mix in like toppings and make stuff like that udf had like 200 ice cream flavors and we only ever had at most maybe four soft serve flavors two at a time or three if you count the twist as its own flavor ice cream has infinitely more positive effects possibilities it's more consistent hard ice cream if that's what we're calling it superior by 9 000 miles i'm not saying soft serve isn't good there isn't a day where i crave soft serve sure but it doesn't mean it's higher quality or better oh there's no right answers here but wade was right i feel slapped and kissed at the same time thank you well i didn't insult you i know but i still felt like that for some reason okay well you're welcome all right let onward deeper into the rabbit hole keyboards we all know that soft serve is good but it doesn't mean it's higher quality we all have hard keyboards i think in front of us right now because we're all at computers but we all also use soft keyboards every day of our lives on our phone or our tablet or on the touchscreen thing at the store that you have to use or what have you and i think it's hard to argue that the user experience of a software keyboard is better in any way than the user experience of a normal hard keyboard but would you really care if you had a hard keyboard and you had a hard keyboard with you every place you went in order to use it for anything you might need to use it for isn't there a reason that blackberries died i don't know what do you guys think hard keyboard soft keyboard it's his turn to go first hard keyboard you my favorite phone i ever had was a phone you would hold up and you could slide the back down and there was a little keyboard you could type on a hard keyboard and man my things didn't autocorrect to something stupid whenever i tried to hit space it didn't hit enter all the time and i was like oh my god i'm gonna have to fucking time or period i could reach all the letters perfectly i loved that phone so much and it only died because of like apple conspiracy where they killed the creators of the real keyboard probably and have them locked in a basement those other survivors and they've destroyed all the engineers of small hard keyboards i'm wearing my tinfoil hat and i know that that's what happened because hard keyboard phones were the epitome of life and hard keyboard much better than soft ever could be you know there's a company that makes a thing where you put magnets to your phone and you have a basically exactly what you're talking about oh man you're taking my points man he's robbing my points right from my point cradle oh that's fine it helps me i'll take it mark you can have a robbed a robbed point point sorry bud oh yeah i was literally looking up the the clicks uh keyboard thing or is that what it's called the clicks yeah it's called clicks or something you know back in my day you didn't have to have greedy accessories that just came with the keyboard i think however there's a problem with the clicks thing and i don't know how they've overlooked it but they did is because they just put it at the bottom where it could make the phone longer i didn't have any of these phones but you know in the back of the day they were like you turn them you flip them you rotate them you wow the keyboard coming out was like part of the thing it's like why didn't they just make a landscape they can sell a portrait version of why didn't they make a landscape version that could go on sideways so you could have a big because this is hard enough on a small keyboard on a digital one it's it's even harder on a physical one where your fat thumb can actually press the other ones instead of having the progressively getting worse intelligent features that you know secretly make the buttons different sizes based on what it thinks you're gonna get and it's wrong all the time now but you know i'm just like it's a it's it shows that there is a need but it shows also that the people designing the products sometimes still don't fully reconcile with what might actually be useful in my opinion yeah i will say i did have a couple phones that had physical keyboards and the vertical ones all misery i have big hands i have big thumbs i've never used a vertical keyboard that wasn't just pure agony to try and deal with but the horizontal ones oh man i had the first android phone that ever launched i had the t-mobile g1 back in the day and it had a screen that like had like a fancy double hinge and the screen it didn't just slide it like oh god did that thing have the best physical keyboard it was so good it had a number row it had character keys fucking i did appreciate that but i just feel like i do appreciate software keyboards that they exist and that you can have that as a solution i don't know if i'm gonna come down hard on a side of this or not but nobody does a good job of implementing them i think is the biggest problem that both kinds of keyboards face right i had a singular plan and i think i had like one of my first flip phones the keyboard was just the number pad right it was just like you had to press two three times to get to the letter c or whatever it was bro t9 texting was the shit i missed t9 oh man i remember the top part of my phone broke off so i no longer had a screen but for whatever reason i could still text and like talk like i could call people and talk to them but i couldn't hear so i would text people be like i really hope these are the correct letters i am sending but it was one-way calls for like two or three weeks god damn that's hilarious every time wade calls you pick up and he's just like mid-sentence like i'm coming home soon i'm leaving i'm coming i'll be there in 25 minutes you're like i can't okay fuck god jeez let's yell the same sentence for a minute straight just repeating i repeat the message three times to make sure it goes through i mean it it's definitely should stay dead but t9 texting was a good solution in a world where you were trying to type on a keyboard that had 12 total buttons i think that might be part of the reason why all these like shortcuts for words were invented because it's like any long message you had to type out was like oh god why is my name gonna be schmitty warben menjensen i'm going over to schmitty warben menjensen's now by the time i text it's three hours have gone by schmitty warber jaeger menjensen oh even longer jaeger anyway we're old keyboards are funny blackberries should stay where they ended up because blackberry keyboards were always awful you know is there anybody at blackberry right now that's like oh physical keyboards are coming guys fire up the machines get the belts moving jim skeleton gets shaken like jim wake up we're back at it i'm sure they've drifted along as a company because i think they have but it's like this would be their time to be like all that money we've been saving up for this one moment and definitely haven't been spending on ceo bonuses or something like that it's time it's like go the blackberry fully touchscreen phone that they launched this is something just no one will give it any shits about but i had a friend who had that and i remember how sad it was because he was really excited right it was in the era when software keyboards were starting to become a thing and like the iphone existed and it was in the era of uh the moto the moto right the whatever the first motos of android phones i had a ringtone said hello moto there's a little beat to it like it was like oh it's a blackberry but it's modern it's got has this screen that moves and all and then like after owning it for a brief time he was like wow blackberry fucking sucks like the only thing about blackberry is that it's the form factor of a blackberry a blackberry in the shape of every other cell phone on the market is just a terrible cell phone they were like the premier phone for a while like if you had a blackberry you were real fancy well yeah because of because business because business people needed to send emails and they revolutionized how you could send emails over cellular networks and blah blah blah according to all the clips of the movie about blackberry that i've seen on youtube shorts and tiktok they were revolutionary in what they were doing yeah yeah that's the thing i've seen that guy from it's always sunny in philadelphia screaming at his employees about something something client side something oh that is that guy oh that's i thought he looked familiar the angry boss guy from the blackberry movie is um dennis it's always sunny he's such a good actor like his arrange is ridiculous because he is actually just becomes different roles and you'll be like holy shit that is him the fuck all right deeper hard or soft drink containers and before you think you know the answer and jump to a conclusion think about it a little bit more deeply because i'm calling squeezy water bottles soft even though they're not exactly like you know pillows they're squeezy i'm asking this for a friend what about boobs boobs hard or soft you mean milk bags that's a soft drinking container you mean milk bags oh boobs you mean milk bags oh yeah yeah well i mean look if we're talking about in the context of drink containers yes also did you know that milk comes in bags in canada yes i did know that day what the fuck canada they got milk bags in canada you buy milk bags at the store in canada kids see those what about okay aluminum cans when you hold them before they're open they're hard because of pressure but afterwards they kind of crinkle a little bit they're a little softer they are a tiny bit flexible as opposed to what i'm thinking you're thinking like a cup like this being hard well even even like a capri sun pouch when it's filled with liquid it's hard because it has volume inside of it right like i would say the can because it's a crushable it's you could crush those up with your hands i would say those are soft i mean unless you're a madman you can't crush like a ceramic coffee mug with your hands down to like right right anything that is malleable with your own strength right all right i'm gonna go out on a very niche use case for this because in the long run i'm not sure if it matters that much unless you got some genius but i'll give a niche case for soft things like a capri sun in general when i traveled for making iron lung a lot i had this this exterior dock that i brought with me that had its built-in power supply it was very useful but it overheated a lot so it got really warm because there really wasn't a big fan in there i don't even know if there was a fan but i learned a trick which is a capri sun has an aluminum soft aluminum based pouch i don't know if it's fully aluminum but it's soft so if you kept them in the fridge and or kept them in the freezer here's how the order you do you get the one from the fridge it's cold you lay it on top of there it would kind of mold a little bit to the shape of it and then it would heat up and it would be a little heat sink i would take that shape put it in the freezer afterwards it would freeze flat on the bottom so that i could put it back on and then i started a chain of like probably the people at tbd wondered if i had like an addiction to capri sun because i kept grabbing them all that's so fucking funny why is mark getting all the capri suns from crafty every five minutes he gets another capri sun what the fuck is this and it worked it would last for like when it was frozen it would last for like an hour and it wouldn't really drip onto anything it didn't for some reason it didn't like condensate that much it worked really effectively as like a little cooling pad for tech uh no no one do this or it might leak on your tech or something like this i did this because like i i knew i didn't know what i was doing i was just desperate right people the visions of mark's server room in his bathroom with all these people were like i'm telling you it worked man it's just a thermal heat sink at the end of the day gopro listen i've got ideas for the future would you like a wild cherry look liquid has a really high whatever the scientific term for heat capacity is you know it has a high that so isn't that a specific temperature where how much energy it takes to change its temperature by a degree or whatever or something like that yeah and because it's flexible and also has an aluminum pouch plastic's not very thermally compatible so it's not going to be able to completely conductive but the capri sun pouches at least if they still make them with aluminum which i probably chained out of that they are very conductive not as conductive some metals but aluminum still conducts heat i want capri sun so bad right now that's so fucking funny though oh my god that's such a good idea yeah see so soft all the way no that's just you pull up at mark's house and there's a fucking huge pallet of glower salts in the trash and then there's a capri sun cooler parked next to his server farm the fucking silver surfer from the capri sun commercials it's just like whoosh whoosh gotta render these physics sims whoosh i mean it worked it worked i can't believe you never told that story i know you were in the absolute depths of suffering of making this movie that consumed you for years but that's so fucking funny can i give another little hack that i did for my render farm real quick but as an aside so the the max a lot of people know i had max studios in my render farm and people were like that's crazy it's like but it makes sense because power efficiency and and and they're i'm going to the the apple event the worldwide developer conference i'm gonna tell them that i did this and also i'm gonna tell my hack to stack them in a way that made them thermally balanced is because it's a big flat block of aluminum right so what i did is i put one like this and then one upside down like that with a thermal pad in between to like exchange heat between the two surfaces and overall the temperature lowered between both of them because as one worked versus the other because you had a bigger heat dissipation yeah it because i had a thermal pad in between it was able to like exchange heat between the surfaces because it's just a big brick of aluminum and so i did stacked them up like that like i did you know the coffee creamers in in like the the restaurant when you go in there you stack one with a little triangle shaping go one to the other like to the other to the other and i did that and it worked and because it left a larger gap where the fans were so it was able to suck in more it worked and it didn't work anyway if you could find a way to get cheap big heat sink fins and then use the fins as spacers and so you'd have like air oh my whoa it you don't need the fins then you just need like copper plates right that's what i had i had a thermally conductive gel pad in between them so i'm just thinking like if you had pipes if you had heat exchange pipes through them or fins right because then you could extract more out you could lower the overall temperature even more you could build like a rack setup where it's like you can put eight mac studios in this and it's all head-to-head heat synced with copper or whatever or like man so you gotta tell these stories mark that's funny shit i try i try no one likes them oh you're always like oh lenses oh i need a gopro you gotta tell me how you manage heat in your electronic devices mark this is the shit that i'm here for that's that's the one niche this is how dumb caveman wade like capri sun bob get technology good out of it all right okay all right it works for everybody that's so good i like that yeah true story everybody about the capri sun very true i bet you're gonna say that to them and they're gonna be like oh cool and then go back to telling about how apple intelligence is the next great feature in computing and whatever yeah probably probably wait good luck look i think soft is so much fun i love the portability usability i am a soft guy but even that being said listen boobs the best evolutionary trait ever like am i right we used to have hard boobs back in my day soft boobs god damn changing the world but part of me always feels bad with all of the soft that i use because like it does make a lot of waste and even with recycling there's still a lot of waste and byproduct whereas just a nice hard glass you know you can clean it out and reuse it you can dishwash like it's just it's always there and it doesn't produce that amount of waste so as much as i do enjoy the soft love the soft i'm a soft guy i feel like hard is probably the better answer for the sheer fact that like i think of how many water bottles and cans and stuff i go through how many like awful styrofoam cups and stuff i go through that would be counted as soft like a lot of waste and it's probably really really bad for pretty much everything that is true generally that it's just true that's just true fact yeah but mark's was so much more fun good job mark i agree fun fun is fun it's so fun thank you thank you the capri sun cycling them through the freezer though that's so fucking funny because i've had things i've had laptops and things where like it just runs hot and you're like and i just need like a fucking something to get the heat out of this that's not gonna like drip all over it or some stupid it's such a good silly it's such an elegant solution plus they sell capri suns everywhere at least in america it's true every grocery store that exists not like lauber salts hard to come by all right deeper hard or soft dentist this one is more i like my dentist erect listen this is more of uh it's i don't know it's a theoretical hard or soft but but i don't like the dentist right but my philosophy is i want a dentist who's going to strap me to the chair like i'm a like i'm against my will and it's going to get in there and it's going to fucking and do whatever they need to do not to fuck up my teeth but to fix my teeth right i've had some teeth problems i would rather even though i hate it and it makes me cringe just thinking about i would rather have a dentist who's like i'm gonna get the fuck in there i'm gonna clean every little speck up because if you have a soft then you're like maybe it's really pleasant maybe they play you some enya maybe it's really but then are they really cleaning your teeth enough is that enough you tell me hard or soft dentists go okay bob for the point i agree with you a hundred percent no i don't have stake in this you get points for him for making good arguments i'm pretty sure you did no no that's how this works i'm completely unbiased go i love my dentist in my mouth who can say you need a floss but you got what you're gonna say right you got what i'm coming from right this is my am i crazy here yes i think a good dentist doesn't feel like they've strapped you down and are torturing you but do a thorough job you could have a bad dentist that straps you down and a bad dentist that's just like you're clean time to go like what the fuck i definitely want one that does their job so i guess if that's hard what did they just throw in my mouth wait what was that magical cleaning dust they throw the clean grenade into my mouth they're just a it's just a nice flavor what flavor would you like that you're clean no give me the hard one i guess because i want them to do their job but like my dentist is both like i get some nice music in the background i feel what both i've always liked the dentist i'm weird i prefer the dentist to the doctor i do not mind having my teeth scraped how many points am i allowed to take away for one thing you said apparently a lot i've always liked the dentist compared to the doctor yes like no one likes going to either but like compared to the doctor i will go to the dentist over the doctor any day yeah the doctor doesn't do anything to you 80 of the time i get so much more nervous at a doctor's office they touch you and they're like oh yeah it sounds like a heartbeat and then you leave and then it's fine what does your doctor do there's always shots and enemas and ball squeezes and stuff what whoa whoa you need to get one of the soft doctors what the hell the dentist just makes my teeth nice and sparkly what the fuck mark i'm not i have no stake in which answer here is correct but save us please look i i i i'm not a hundred percent on board with my dentist being in the tooth trenches and coming out of the tooth war and going into my mouth and having a tooth flashback i don't know if i need that they can talk to you gentle and scrape your teeth with a metal pick i i don't think that's too bad because i i don't know i just i don't need to be strapped to the dentist i don't know if i need to be strapped to the dentist i don't need to be scrapped into my chair well they can be they can be hard but nice but like uh like a good teacher right like they don't take any bullshit from your teeth right you know what i mean you know what i'm talking about don't call them out by name but like they don't fuck around that's who my dentist is they're a good dentist i don't need any pull what did my teeth do to them what kind of attitude was i giving them with my teeth this piece better not give me any lip that doesn't even make sense i'm they keep causing problem in your mouth those tongues get in the way of the cleaning amputate we'll put it back later all right uh i guess you know i'm i'm because it makes it sound like the soft dentist is not going to do a good job and this is how i am with dentist is i made a dentist appointment to go because i was having some tooth pain all the sour candy i was like i probably got a cavity and you know they said oh i don't think you don't have a cavity but you know we could we need something here it's a little low on this one side i'm like that makes sense that makes sense all right we'll get you next next month and like all right come back i'm like okay and i missed the appointment i never came back i was so afraid that they'd be mad at me i don't know why just like oh man they're gonna be pissed i show up again they're gonna like oh mark i was wondering when you'd show up and so i'd be like i don't know why i just haven't gone back that was three years ago i was like that for a while all through college whenever i was no longer my mom's health insurance i didn't have any health insurance in like college and stuff and i was like i can't afford a dentist so i didn't go to the dentist for like seven or eight years and the last three years i didn't go we're just like i've not been in four years if i go now they're gonna be so mad at me for not going for the previous four yeah they're gonna be mad they couldn't be mad no it's real i had that same feeling i was like i don't i don't want to go the fear is real this is a psa i guess for mark too but for everyone go to the dentist guys yeah go to the dentist oh god go to the dentist no matter how bad you think it's gonna be it's so much worse when you're going to the dentist because a tooth is falling out or you're like you're bleeding and you're like oh why is my mouth bleeding oh fuck it just go because and like it's maybe you can't afford it like the realities of the world are what they are but if you can go to the dentist holy fuck go to the dentist because i am not i'm gonna have some oral seizures coming up and i'm not looking forward to it i wish my teeth weren't so fucked i really do i can't say this for everyone my dentist office i think works with people really well too for affordability stuff i don't know that all of them are like that but like there are dentist office that understand and will work with you so and make sure you find a hard one no stake in the answers here but hard was the correct answer point for wade objective point for wade i lost an unknown amount of points for my answer but also i gained one even though mark i think said hard also no i i don't know if i gave an answer i was a real loosey-goosey which i think you know speaks to my character i tried to make this list so that it would sort of descend into the madness i feel like i feel like i'm not sure if any of these are going to get deeper and i guess i'm curious now about that but i wish that they were more unhinged i have strong feelings about this one situationally curious what you guys think hard or soft bags all in any bags it's a hard bag like a hard suit suitcase oh you know how they have like coolers or it's like a hard you know hard shell bag type of deal or like a like a sturdy purse is like a hard bag like a nice thick leather purse you know hard bag or soft bag this speaks to how much better hard bags are because i can put in a completely different category because imagine like a purpose-built system of bags with hard bags all the way around with like they cinch closely lock tight and like it's like pelican cases all the way down you know there's something about like a loosey-goosey bag that just can flop around and spill all your contents you put it in another bag and it's just gonna flop everywhere and it's gonna be all non-committal and whatnot but it's like if you have a hard bag like what you're saying it's purpose-built for an express solution and that's the solution i need i don't need any wishy-washiness with my bag i need it for the intended purpose it's laser cut to fit the things that i'm gonna put in this thing and it's gonna be secure as hell i'm all about this that being said i dump all my shit in my backpack and then go off to france it's what i do look both things can be true yeah yeah but when i find the bag that's hard and purposely for the thing i'm like oh my god and i buy them and i've got a stack of pelicans you know just sitting there empty but they're there they're there for way better yeah in theory hard bag in practice soft bag same thing i what do i transport i don't transport all my like equipment and stuff i transport clothes and like some toiletries and you and i need something that's light whenever you're running through the chicago airport and have to get 13 miles in 10 seconds and i need something i'm not gonna hit my foot on and break my toe like a hard bag and space my god is space hard to come by and you can't squish down hard bag you can squish down soft bag you fit so many soft bag and whenever those bags are empty they maybe not suitcases but your backpack perfectly flat other bag perfectly flat those bags they only let you have in california at the grocery store anymore you can stuff 500 of those things in one other bag and then you have infinite bags i could never run out of bags from going to the grocery store three times because there's so many bags i love wade's california stand-up routine where's hard bag like what am i going to do i'm going to go to the grocery store three times you know go to the grocery store with my pelican like i need eggs and two liters soft is so much more useful hard protect your electronics and grandma or whatever else you're carrying around sure i get it soft oh the portability the lightness the aerodynamics i will say about the california thing um they undid the the thing with the plastic because it was like they made just the plastic bag sticker and so they went back to like yeah we use plastic or whatever and so now paper bags are a thing and the unfortunate thing is because paper bags used to be at grocery stores and they were free with you know you check out they're there now it's the same paper bags that were there before but they still charge 15 cents for them and i have to go to the grocery store i'm like hey wait a minute hey you you move the goalpost hey wait a minute hold on a second they're always like this yeah no i don't think so sir mr grosch this is hardly a bag at all but can i just say you know those collapsible boxes where it's like a little crate and it folds flat kind of deal those are what you want for the grocery store holy shit you get one or two of those and you put them in the bottom of your cart and then you just and then when you go to your car you fucking take one or two boxes out of the cart into your car there's no like how many bags can i hold 19 bags on one arm and still open the door to the no you need one good box but that's not a bag that's i would not say that that's like a hard bag that's a that's a box so it doesn't really count i just i really like that i discovered that at some point and was like god i love a box i love a grocery box you know anyway i decide who's right i understand it's difficult but it's me well i understand that that might complicate things but it's me all right no points for that last one okay that's a lie i gave points for that i was just okay i said we would circle back to this so i basically have to or else i'm pretty sure i'm fired hard or soft boat and think about it before you laugh oh sorry damn it now i knew you'd do that hard or soft is a soft boat like a raft like a dinghy like those inflatable dinghies where they get rigid when you inflate them kind of deal like a pontoon kind of thing it depends how you feel about it i gotta go even even love i love a pontoon i consider a pontoon a hard boat because you don't want to get hit with a pontoon or i don't have a dinghy you'll do much maybe it will with high enough speed but like traversing lake cumberland growing up beautiful lake the waves and everything but there's trees and plants and rocks and things and the water level changes and storms happen and sometimes there's just fucking logs and trees you can't even see they're floating and stuck just below the surface and if you hit one of those things with like i don't know if you count like a fiberglass as hard but like a speed some of the speed boats those things touch one of those trees they're fucked a dinghy touches one of those trees you are fucked but if you have a nice solid boat you might still be fucked but maybe less likely to be so so give me heart give me diamond crystal boat just gonna cut that fucking tree in half fuck those underwater trees and their murderous tendencies on the lake i just want to be on my tube but you know what tubes are soft and if you hit a tree on a tube you die in the sky explode damn yeah that's what happens i tube wrong how cousin larry went jesus hard boats and soft hard hard boat soft tube kind of seemed like you were making the case for hard boat hard tube if i'm honest probably need to but like a hard tube sounds really painful to bounce on and land on maybe his hard bottom soft top look okay all right let me let me clean up his meandering lost answer here with a a quote from ib sailing who as you know was on the titanic one of the hardest boats around and he still his quote goes because they died right from their hard boat getting bedoinked by an iceberg and it just split in half much like a taco this is a soft situation when i when we crash in our hard hard plane into the water do i want to be in the hard hard plane or do i want to be in the soft soft slide i want to be in the soft slide which doubles as a boat all of their flotation devices soft when you absolutely need to float you go soft counterpoint what do you think harder water or ice which one floats that's right hard yeah which one's deadly ice the iceberg from ib sailing who was famously on the titanic once again said oh look out hard water you know what else is deadly hard oxygen probably i won't deny that i will concede that so what's your point hard is bad yeah hard bad no hard good no but you said hard oxygen is dangerous so hard oxygen is also bad so hard is bad well hard hydrogen's probably hard oxygen is also bad so hard hydrogen is also bad probably soft hydrogen what's what's the one to breathe in uh i think he's i think he's on my side here i think hydrogen monoxide sounds bad well i'm not a chemist so i don't know about these things i'm not a crook i'm richard nixon i was going to make the point and mark brought it up you would think hard boat titanic sunk by ice dangerous one boat in 130 years so soft is the answer titanic is actually a soft hydrogen soft boat that's my conclusion here titanic needed to be harder in order to destroy the ice instead of being destroyed by because i can crush ice with my teeth ice is not that hard okay i'm sure all ice is exactly the same and it works the same way and when i have a drink and i crunch up ice there's no way that a boat should be less hard than my shitty teeth that i go to my hard dentist to maintain so really titanic soft boat titanic 2 needs to be hard boat in the era we were only able to get so hard in the time but i gotta say of that time was the titanic not the hardest boat they made as cal hockley said it is unsinkable even god himself could not sink this ship so that's pretty hard okay what so cal is saying that god loses to ice too god dang fran it's just stoke said the sea finds out everything you did wrong hard or soft remember the alternate ending to titanic where jack and rose instead of having sex were tucked tape to the side of titanic and just bit their way through the iceberg and saved the boat yes hard teeth better than ice like you were saying bob you are so smart and right hard teeth therefore hard boat i have other quotes that make no sense i could read i think that's enough quotes i think i've heard enough the bible's go on let's go ahead and call it there i think we really got to the bottom of hard or soft i think everybody who was watching and listening knows which one they would want so let's just tally up some points and get out of here mark you earned points for you died taxi moto when you realized it was a motorcycle yeah bice about beard lice for wade imagine having a gopro you were correct about tacos you had ib salen who came back a lot in fact i actually think i owe you an ib salen point you were robbed oh yes yeah definitely okay capri sun heat sinks that was genius that might be the smartest thing i've ever heard the perfect bag you'd never use i own some of those they're the best and wade you earned points for you realizing that you are wade you were an assassin blah blah something diablo greater than or equal to eight years of dating the ego is down that was a good one you were correct about ice cream you hit me with a classic back in my day you're a soft guy self-proclaimed you're correct about the dentist being hard and you got ass kissing points yes that leaves once i add mark's extra ib salen point because ib salen is a good one i think that's a good one i think that's a good one and you have to respect it mark with 11 points and wade with 11 points wade was actually up by two but then i realized that i didn't count one of the points that i wrote down and then mark earned the extra ib salen point mark's just out here doing a good job thank you man thank you and so is wade to a lesser extent we're tied ah but that doesn't mean you're doing an equally good job uh yeah yeah come on that must be the neighborhood baseball because everyone's taking a swing how many wheel spins will we have it's one oh my god one spin to rule them all wow two ones and we never get ones we're getting ones today i'm gonna say whoever was the softest boy this episode gets a point and we will definitely not know what that means when it comes to the ball button just existing right here makes me nervous seeing you hover over it like what if i just put it there and then i just pick up the mouse and i'm just like there must be a confirmation there would have to be right oh i should maybe i should click it and find out yeah one way to find out i mean you've got a backup of this right that's my confidence squeak 109 options on this wheel i'm trying to figure out how to do this i'm trying to figure out how to do this i'm trying to figure out how to do this i'm trying to figure out how to do this i'm sure this one spin will result in not me spitting for a one-man show uh fate can we not oh wait we're all here we're all here at home yeah everyone's home okay we remember what that means it was witness protection everyone at home listening oh yeah it said witness protection sorry sorry listeners sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry come on got the flattest you come on got the flattest you come on got the flattest you know what i mean know what i mean know what i mean no it's too late man it's too late it's no it's too late man it's too late it's no it's too late man it's too late it's too late what's its win too late got past too late what's its win too late got past too late what's its win too late got past tense this is best goddess best best tense this is best goddess best best tense this is best goddess best best get a sheet one that we do this spot get a sheet one that we do this spot get a sheet one that we do this spot no one got flat mark's correct yeah i no one got flat mark's correct yeah i no one got flat mark's correct yeah i don't think we got flat oh god that don't think we got flat oh god that don't think we got flat oh god that one's ever gonna work though no one's one's ever gonna work though no one's one's ever gonna work though no one's ever just gonna get flat for no reason ever just gonna get flat for no reason ever just gonna get flat for no reason what worst guesser who the fuck did what worst guesser who the fuck did what worst guesser who the fuck did anyone guess anything in this episode anyone guess anything in this episode anyone guess anything in this episode we've never spun any of these ever but we've never spun any of these ever but we've never spun any of these ever but i do i guess we do know what that would i do i guess we do know what that would i do i guess we do know what that would be but yeah it wasn't really a guessing be but yeah it wasn't really a guessing be but yeah it wasn't really a guessing game yeah i guess game yeah i guess we do know what that would be but yeah it wasn't really a guessing we do know what that would be but yeah it wasn't really a guessing of the other guys wow these are of the other guys wow these are of the other guys wow these are crazy different men we've never spun crazy different men we've never spun crazy different men we've never spun any of these i usually interrupt the any of these i usually interrupt the any of these i usually interrupt the most it was probably me i bet it was me most it was probably me i bet it was me most it was probably me i bet it was me not to interrupt my opponent but i think not to interrupt my opponent but i think not to interrupt my opponent but i think it was me damn it you did interrupt me to it was me damn it you did interrupt me to it was me damn it you did interrupt me to tell me it was you i had a couple uh i tell me it was you i had a couple uh i tell me it was you i had a couple uh i puts these on this wheel just have some puts these on this wheel just have some puts these on this wheel just have some terrible ideas oh they're good ideas terrible ideas oh they're good ideas terrible ideas oh they're good ideas you just want to put them oh wade loses a point holy that one too that's such a holy that one too that's such a holy that one too that's such a different i forgot about that i've got different i forgot about that i've got different i forgot about that i've got such bad reception right now it's unfair such bad reception right now it's unfair such bad reception right now it's unfair i used to like try to read the answers i used to like try to read the answers i used to like try to read the answers before it came up so i would know if before it came up so i would know if this one was coming up i forgot about this one was coming up i forgot about this one was coming up i forgot about that it says last to touch nose loses a that it says last to touch nose loses a that it says last to touch nose loses a point and mark and i both frantically point and mark and i both frantically point and mark and i both frantically touched our noses and wade didn't even touched our noses and wade didn't even touched our noses and wade didn't even react i was kind of debated because it could i was kind of debated because it could i was kind of debated because it could be one where it's like uh first to touch be one where it's like uh first to touch be one where it's like uh first to touch nose loses a point or something like that nose loses a point or something like that nose loses a point or something like that which should be added there it's yeah which should be added there it's yeah which should be added there it's yeah it's the latency latency it was latency it's the latency latency it was latency it's the latency latency it was latency i'm on the other side of the country you i'm on the other side of the country you i'm on the other side of the country you can't even use that excuse yeah but you can't even use that excuse yeah but you can't even use that excuse yeah but you and bob are so in sync we are it's true and bob are so in sync we are it's true and bob are so in sync we are it's true i'm very biased towards mark it's just i'm very biased towards mark it's just i'm very biased towards mark it's just generally a true statement i'm more generally a true statement i'm more generally a true statement i'm more backstreet boys but anyway mark wins backstreet boys but anyway mark wins backstreet boys but anyway mark wins with a score of 11 to 10 because wade with a score of 11 to 10 because wade with a score of 11 to 10 because wade lost a point for being the slowest to lost a point for being the slowest to lost a point for being the slowest to touch his nose touch his nose touch his nose fuck classic distractible goof everybody classic distractible goof everybody classic distractible goof everybody congratulations mark uh wait loser congratulations mark uh wait loser congratulations mark uh wait loser speech speech speech it was a well-fought fight it was a well-fought fight it was a well-fought fight finicky finicky finicky fraught fraught fraught filling filling forlorn. Farewell. Mark, you can do a normal winner speech if you want, or you can pick alliteration, whichever one you choose. Firmly fun feelings filling. friends? Fine. fanciful feasts for. fucking. fools. Fancily, fairly, financially. funned. Flop. Flop, flop, flip-flop, floors, foam. Flambe. That's French. Cans. That's true. If anybody hears French, it's Mark. Freedom! A classic Mark winner speech. Congratulations, Mark. Mm, thank you. Well, watchers/listeners, make sure you're following the podcast, 'cause Mark will be hosting the next one, which is always good. Way better than when Wade hosts the next one. Sorry, Wade. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I said that. Make sure you check out the merch store, distractible.shop. The special five-year merch is maybe sold out, but maybe there's other stuff. You have to look. You gotta stay on top of that. Follow Mark at Markiplier, Wade at LordMinion777 or Minion777. I am MySker, and that is the end of this episode. We'll see you with another one next Monday, hosted by Mark. And until then, podcast out.