Hard or Soft?

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable! The sipsome. Blackberry Bob requires bespoke mobilization, sleigh Swedish stages, then asks the eternal question, "Whethered Wade performs with a strained GBO firmer or celebrates matrimony, becomes a journeyman and has venerate turds." Motorcycling Mark witnesses cons, split stuff, its tacho-ass, reminisces an anus and a capricula, from Mark moding to I.B. sailing. Hehehehe, it's time for, hard or soft, now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of your podcast, Favourite Uncle, that's right, this is Distractable! I'm your, that's a little early, just started with it. I'm your host, because I won the last one, because I was so much funnier than Mark, that now he can't handle it, and he's being a little baby about everything. Competitors for today, just like always are Mark and Wade, Mark is the one who's going, you can't prove that to the listeners, that was Wade, that was all Wade. Listeners, believe what you will, but it was Mark, they are highly influenced, easily influenced as some might say. Yeah, you know, am I right? Only I'm allowed to be mean to the listeners, okay. If there's one thing I've learned so far from this is that I am Wade, you just learned that? Yeah, pretty impressive, wow, I haven't gone around saying my name is Markiplier for the last 10 years, really awkward, and explains why people treat you so weird. Anyway, if you've ever seen the show before, we just revised the constitution, which we have one of, it's not weird. And in the first episode, we already didn't know if we revised it right or not. No, no, come on, you didn't, we did! We have a plethora of new rules, and they're going to be fine. That's why we have Congress in the first place, our Congress anyway. I don't remember making Congress, we made Congress. Oh, trust us, bro. I don't remember trusting what it said, trust me, bro. I didn't say bro! That's character assassination. Well, now you're dead, so I guess I get the right history for you. He's assassinating my character. All right, Mark, you get a dead point. You get like an assassin point? Wade, you get an assassin point. Welcome back to another episode I have. I'm going to call it a sequel. It's not really a sequel, but I have a sequel episode here today that I'm really excited about. And I think it's going to be a fun time before we get into that. How are you guys doing? You guys small talks? I do, I'll go second. All right, Wade, on the spot, what do you got? Well, well, well, welcome back everyone. I have been playing a lot of the Diablo 4 recent expansion, Lord of Patriot. And I think I told you all, I think I told you all last week. It's one of the better Diablo stories I think we've ever gotten. I just, I thought it was really well told that we got a lot of lore, a lot of backs toward a lot of interesting stuff. And I was really engrossed in it and really been enjoying it. I even went back and installed Diablo 2 because I was like, man, I'm just filling that Diablo itch. I've been, I've been real Diablo. Otherwise, weather's been good. A couple of weeks ago, I went out and played basketball with my nephew cutting last Monday. But my left knee has been like a little off. I was like, man, I think I like strain the MCL or something. I'm one of those, one of those little three letter things that's in your knee. And then yesterday, my nephew was like, hey, you don't play basketball again. I was like, man, I just started walking normally again. Yes, let's do it. Now I'm not walking normally again today. Cook figure. Apparently you need more than two or three weeks at our age to heal, which is very sad. I'm walking around like a pirate, but I had fun. And the weather's been beautiful. It was a little hot yesterday. But otherwise, the cost has been so nice. I can't breathe. That my allergies are killing me. But like, I like sunlight. I might be a plant. I didn't know it, but I think I might be a plant. I think I might survive on photosynthesis. I think weights an industry plant. I could be. Oh, shit. Bob, you want to go pro? Very much way more than Mark does. Can I please be an industry plant? Can I please? I'll find a way. I've been growing some go pros in my garden, Bob. I'll have to harvest one and send it your way. Perfect. Man, if if they're marking the department had any brains. No, wait, I can't insult them. God, I can't be that way. If they're marketing department could get their head out of their ass long enough to see what's good for them. No, no, no, no, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. I mean, that sounds like you're going to need a new knee any day now, Wade. But that's other than that, that's, you know, that's good. Um, so tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow. As of the episode coming out, not when we're recording it. Molly and I will have been married for eight years. Which so we're celebrating that. So we had the podcast anniversary, the us anniversary. So May is a busy month, but a five years podcast eight years of marriage and more years than that dating. I can't do the math, but whenever 2012 was at least eight years of date. At least eight years of dating greater than or equal to as a good husband and partner. I know those numbers. I'm just keeping them to myself. That's private information. Yeah. Mark, do some small talk while I calculate those numbers. All right. So my small talk is, once again, related to the cans film festival because I have a story from there that I didn't tell saving it. Because I was very tired and, and, and whatnot. But the experience of getting there is fine. You know, I get there and it's all good and whatever. But I arrive and they've arranged a driver, right? And so I've, I've been through this very, very famous. I've been through experiences before. Obviously we all have, right? Right. All the time. Where they have your name on the big iPad and they're like one of those triple length limos where it's just you in it. But it's like nine rows of seats. Exactly. I mean, that's what I was used to. And I'm sure that's what you, you have had in your experience. And of course, in my mind, call it the ego holler. The ego holler. Yeah. That's good. The ego is down. The ego is down. It's all right. The ego has landed. I can tell you. All right. Don't laugh at him. Don't laugh at the blood. Wait, wait for me. Wait for me. The giggle bus. Please. Anything on. All right. So I get down there and the guy's there. His name is Nicholas. And he's very nice. And he's part of a company called Taxi Moto. And I'm like, okay, this is great. All right. Awesome. So he leads me out over to the parking garage. I'm like, cool. I'm used to this. Start treatment. I get there. And we, we go past all the cars that are parked there. And we keep walking. And we're now fully passed all the cars. And I'm looking around. Oh, interesting. And we turn a corner. And we go around. And we go through this like little turn style like this. And then I keep the, I think, oh, I must be in the next parking garage. And it's like, nope. We come up to a motorcycle. And I'm just like. Taxi Moto. Taxi Moto. But it was fine. It was actually lovely. I made it sound like awful because I used to ride in L.A. I did motorcycle a little bit. Until I had a close call. So it's not like I was nervous or anything. But it's just, it's one of those things where it's like with the going to Iceland and the blue legoons like the first thing there. It's like, oh, I wasn't, wasn't prepared for this. I was expecting to sleep in like a cab or something on the way over there. And it's like, I didn't want to fall asleep on the back of a motorcycle. Why not? You know, I just said, but it was, it was really nice actually. He had his own. He had a jacket for me, a gloves for me, a hat. He made me put on a hair net just in case for all my lace. And then I put on the helmet. Yeah. We all have lace. Yeah. We all look good. It's kind of a thing for us. I don't know, man. What would they cling to on me? Beer and lace. Oh. Bice. Yeah. Anyway. So it was really nice because number one, I was very attentive because obviously you're on a motorcycle and you know, oh, I thought you were like giving him a massage like you were attending him while he drove you. Yeah. Well, he's very stressed. I want him to be relaxed on this. I was attentive back. But it's like, you know, you, you got to kind of hold on because you got the handle bars there. And it was nice. It was like it was a little thing with that armrest and it had like hand grips and all kinds of things. And I got to see all of cans. Otherwise, I would have literally fallen asleep in a taxi. I was that tired. And it was, it was very pleasant. So I recommend there to anybody who wants to and also on the way back to the airport. This guy saved me like 30 minutes in traffic. Because I mean, he was laying splitting the whole time. I, I, I, I also did that if anyone was like a first time riding a motorcycle, they might have had, you know, might have been a little scared for them. But it's like, it's really fine. Because it's terrifying for a normal person. Are you kidding me? If they hadn't done it before, I could see that. But it's like also it helped a lot. He knew what he was doing. And he was like, or I told him that I used to ride an L.A. So that's probably maybe while he was more comfortable with doing that. Because he tried to make sure. But it was, it was, he got me to that airport. And it was like bumper to bumper traffic the entire way over there. So it was, it was really, it really helped out a lot. I might have missed my flight. Can you imagine the view if you had a GoPro to record your drive over there on that motorcycle? That's what I was thinking too. I was going to, oh, I forgot I was going to bring that up because I was like, oh my god. This would be so perfect for this. I kept asking because I'm like, I'm going to these places that I can film some cool things. And God, I tried to get my phone out. And I was just like, should the wind went like this a little bit? No, I was not going to do that. Just not going to put that right back, right back in my pants. Man, it would have been so pretty because it was like beautiful blue waters. All these boats is like seaside road. They were going along. Oh, it was gorgeous. It would have been perfect. GoPro, please. Mark will go back to con for four hours. He'll fly, he'll get out, he'll do, all he'll do is get out of the airport, ride around on a motorcycle for an hour and a half filming stuff, straight back into a plane, but he'll do anything. I presume I know this is the sort of thing that's planned by people who like, they know who you are and it's so it's like thought. I just think it would be fucking hilarious if not that anyone does this, but if someone was like, oh, Bob, you should go to this thing and they booked me, you know, to go to a thing and I get to the airport. And if you can't tell on camera, I'm fucking huge, I'm really tall, I'm six foot four, but I'm also like just a huge dude. And I did ride, I had a motorcycle in college and I'm familiar, I would be totally cool on a motorcycle, but like I just show up and the guy with the motorcycle is like, oh, yeah, yeah. I don't know what the weight limit is for my motorcycle. Interesting. You're just, you're like a perfectly adequately average height, normal size person. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Thank you, Mr. Host. Thank you. I'm sure that no one, you know, that no one is going to book me a motorcycle taxi if there if it's something where it's like, I'm on, you know, they want me to have this event for a thing. And, but it just would be hilarious. That show up and the guys just like, all right, I'm on the back, I guess he's just are screaming just, it's like a cartoon. I get, I climb up on the motorcycle. First it just goes, oh, no. I feel like people in Europe are smaller than us, Bob. I feel like like the average height is a little bit smaller in Europe way smaller than me. I don't really look really tall over there, but there are tall Europeans. I don't think there are very many Europeans that are the size around that I am having been there several times. I could tell you, I do feel like I stick out. I can't remember how tall people were. But I feel like, man, when we were up on that stage in Europe, everyone not on the stage looks smaller than us. Yeah, they're sitting down. So yeah, and they were lower. Some of the stages were the same as the audience, I think. And some of the places we didn't show said Europe were funny. It was fine, but it was like we showed up and they're like, yeah, this is the stage. It's a big room. And there's chairs on this side and you guys go on this side. We've never used it for a stage before, but it's absolutely a stage for you right now. I remember one of those like in the US. I don't remember one of those in Europe. Then again, I've got terrible memory. There was a stage, but wasn't it in Oslo where it was literally like in the corner of a much larger room, they just set up a stage and some chairs and were like, you guys do your little show over there might have been in Sweden. It was one of those. Anyway, that's pretty fun. That's crazy, though. I wonder how common that is because I know like zipping around on motorbikes or scooters or whatever is more common in especially in cities in Europe, maybe. But I still feel like a lot of people would show up and be like, I'm not fucking riding a motorcycle. Like what the hell? I'd be one. I've never been on one and I don't know that I don't have the balls for it. If you've never done it before, I get why that would be scary. Yeah, because even if you're on the back, I mean, probably they're used to people not like helping leaning in the right direction or something, you know, or completely opposite their life trying to go this way. Everyone tries to sit upright as the bike leads over there to like, no, no. I've just seen too many of like the fail army type videos where there's assholes that like open their car doors and shit the motorcycles and like, I don't know, I'd be so scared of like someone doing that. It's not going to happen on the highway. But yeah, I totally get on the cities. I don't know, man, some people are crazy. Everyone's crazy everywhere. Lane splitting is a funny thing for those who don't know Lane splitting is when motorcycles drive down between lanes of cars because they can fit because they're tiny because I kind of come down on both sides of it because as a person who's written a motorcycle, I'm like, yeah, why would I not do that? If it's legal, which it is in a lot of places, some places is not and if you do it where it's illegal, then you should get a ticket probably. But if it's legal, like it is in California, why would I not do that? That's very convenient. But as a person who drives a car 99% of my life, I'm like, what the fuck would you do that? You're going to get yourself killed, you crazy ass motorcycle douchebags? I don't know, I come down on both sides. You said you lane split when you roadmark? Well, I mean, I did for a while and then I had a close call doing lane split. I was like, you know what? I don't know if I ever need this really. I don't know if this is for me. Like a nice weather day. Some people like put their arms out, stretch their arms, like feel the wind and stuff. I'd be like, I want to close line or take off someone's arm. Well, I will say one of the things about lane splitting is you're not supposed to go 120 down the highway between cars that are doing like 75. You're supposed to go slightly faster than the flow traffic. So dudes on sport bikes who lane split at 1,000 miles an hour. That's still uncool, even if it's legal wherever they're doing that. But safely lane splitting is a thing you could do that. That's fair. That's fair. This guy though. It's like doing wheels. No, he was. Yeah, well, I imagine the professional taxi service was doing wheelies and tricks of shit. Mark's head is like one foot off the ground the whole way. I was actually his I was his brace against the ground. He was using my head as like, you know, make sure he didn't flip all the way back. You duct tape the wheel to the back of your home, but just in case he actually put like that paper on matchbox. So I sparked on the way out. It was really cool actually from what I could see if my GoPro is there. If I had a GoPro, you know, go pro imagine. We could see somebody close shots. I don't know if there's more small talk. Should we get to the game game, game, game. This is a spiritual successor to a game that we played previously called big or small where we talked about if we would rather have big or small versions of things. This one is hard or soft. Okay, all right, makes more sense that it sounds like it does because I got to be honest. I read this in my notes and was like fucking weird idea. That's not it'll be fine. It's good. If you guys think of anything that you would like to debate this is kind of an open debate one. It's not really like a kind of game back and forth as much as I just want to talk about all these different things. The first one I have here might be contentious, but ignore your personal preference for this specific thing. I just want to talk about if you would prefer hard or soft tacos. Maybe it's a taco filled with food that you really, really like. Maybe it's like a hamburger taco. It doesn't have to be an away. It has mixed feelings about tacos. That's fine. But just the harder softness of it, harder soft tacos. I'm going to stand on a soap box here for my wife and say she likes crunchy tacos. Therefore hard tacos soft. I'll tell you why if I'm allowed. No, I'll allow it. All right. Okay, it's because there's a good idea and then there's the execution of the idea and a hard taco is a good idea conceptually if photographs well, it looks appetizing. The second you have to actually encounter that you realize the fundamental flaw in the human design. Our mouths are not vertical. And then you have to encounter the other fundamental flaw of the structural design of the thing that if as soon as you bite the cracks which propagate through a hard shell taco, almost entirely propagate down the bottom of it so that the entire ass of the taco falls out the first bite or cracks in half that way in the same effect is there. It has to be when a lot of restaurants put the wet delicious but wet like heavy meat ingredients or other stuff in the bottom completely ruining the structural integrity of the crunchy taco shell. Yeah, 100% and it's just like it needs to be supplemented with like a cardboard box or something like that to just aid in the whole process. It just makes it difficult and when I'm eating I can't be bothered with all of that as I'm whipping through traffic eating my tacos. Can I just say this question was a trap because I know the actual factual correct answer. But you point out a good thing Mark, you're right. You know what I would generally go for soft tacos. You know it's one of my favorite crunchy tacos. The Doritos loco crunchy tacos. You know why is it comes with its own cardboard sheath. So when you're eating it you you stick out just enough you take a bite and it doesn't matter that it fucking disintegrates to do a million piece. It's in a little thingy. It's contained. It's fine. It's great. But the correct answer is I forget what they're called exactly I think there's a thing I've seen at restaurants that are not Taco Bell but Taco Bell has these as well. It's a crunchy taco shell with a soft taco shell glued to the outside with cheese. I don't know is that what they call a gordita crunch is that because you get all the good stuff about a crunchy taco. It's crunchy. It's delightful. It's like eating really it's like eating a nacho sandwich which we all know I like nachos. But it's glued together. It's like safety glass. When you bite it and the crunchy taco shell disintegrates into dust. It's fine because there's a soft taco shell there to save everything. Look, if you want a soft taco we have something called a sandwich or a bun that already exists. Here's a quote from John A shed that I think will ring true. A ship in harbor is safe. But that is not what ships are built for. A crunchy taco may be a mess waiting to happen but it's an adventure worth embarking because it is the journey that matters more than the destination and with food they both pretty much matter a lot. But that crunchy exploration, that's the idea. the epitome of taco, where is, listen, me, that's a non-taco guy, it gave me that bun all day, but you think taco, you think crunch, I know, I think soft, wrong. I think you know, smoosh, get a hamburger bun and fold the hot dog, hot dog, taco. Oh, God, where are we going? I think I need to remind people of the quote from I be sailing who was on board the Titanic when it's crunchy shell was fractured by that mouth of an iceberg and all of its contents came spilling out. A gordita crunch is just trying to be a soft taco to appease to those weirdos and freaks of nature that enjoy a crunchy taco. Look, I appreciate the Doritos Locos. If I have to endure the indignity of a hard shell taco, I will approach one with my mouth and bring it near me, but I will not say I am bived. I just didn't bring it near me with a little kind of weird Victorian taco experience. Are you having? I have experienced hard shell tacos, but I did not imbibe. Okay, so the Titanic was crunchy and sank, but if I throw bread into the water, you know what happens? Birds eat it and it's bad for them. So if I put a wet thing in the water, what's going to happen? We're going to kill ocean life, put a pin in this because we're going to get around to boats. Don't even worry about that. Oh, man, I really love soft boats. That one I had a strong opinion about this next one. I can't decide. I need you to help me. Oh, we're here hard or soft ice cream. I don't mean like fucking ice cubes with flavor in them. I mean, soft serve ice cream or like UDF graders scooped hard ice cream out of the cooler, which one I've worked there for a while. So I will defer and let Mark go first before I destroy his incorrect opinion. Cause I don't know if I can pick and I want someone to tell me what to think. All right. So we're talking like from a machine where you pull the lever and it goes. Yeah. Like soft soft serve like. And you make the little turd cone and then or you make like a milk, you know, whatever. Thank you for bringing up my main point, the turd cone. You can't make the glorious shape, ignore everything I said about the taco around. It's all about appearances about presentation. You have to have the picturesque shape of the triangle going down cone, if you will. And then the cone coming up, it's symmetry in nature. If it has the two, you can't get to, I don't care about Neapolitan. It doesn't exist. That's basically it's a freak of nature. It's a random chance. But having the two swirl of color spiraling down. So elegantly reminisces me. That's how you use the word reminisces. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of the days of Eunice honest with its spirals. And I think it's, uh, I think it's important for our culture. What is your answer? It was like Billy Madison, wherever you said, maybe feel stupid or by the end, drift into the finish line of something. I could just coast every and out of gas. That way through it is like, Oh, God. I was like, Oh, he's going for real ice cream. He didn't mention real ice cream once. And what does he feel that brought up an experience that maybe is affecting my opinion here? Do you know what is one of the most disappointing things I've experienced about ice cream? Previously, what's that? I went to a, I think it was a Derek way out till like we were getting like a summer treat, right? And as a kid, I was always hardcore. I would either get chocolate or vanilla. But at there was a point where I was like, why would I not just get twist? Both is the best because then you get some, and I went, we went to this place where we're like, let's get ice cream and we're getting and I got a twist cone, which is supposed to be that, that half and half chocolate vanilla. They fucking gave me an ice cream cone with one turn of vanilla and one turn of chocolate on top of it. It was soft serve. They just like didn't, like the machine was broken or something. They gave that to me and I was like, I don't know. Ice cream could make me feel rage, like a fucking, this isn't a twist cone at all. I've never been more sad about ice cream specifically, probably been more sad about other stuff. You got highs, you got lows, but you only felt so sad because you could feel so happy from the soft. Cause I knew what was possible. All right, Wade. So as someone who worked in ice cream for, well, I don't know if I, whatever his position was, I don't know. Hey, see, you deferred to me, I said, I get to pick. I did and I still don't know what position you have. So I'm going to give mine. I worked at United Dairy Farmers for a couple of years and ice cream. And I can tell you the soft serve machine was a giant pain in the ass. It was a huge machine that sat, took up a huge amount of space and we had two little, like, areas where we'd pour in these little half gallons, right? You had our vanilla, our chocolate or we'd have seasonal like peach or something. So we'd have different ones. We have one side, we get a half gallon of vanilla soft serve liquid. You pour it in the top, something fucking happens and it becomes vanilla soft serve. You get your chocolate, you pour it in the other side. Some weird magic happens and it becomes chocolate. You have a third nozzle, which is your twist where the two combine and that's how you get your twist. So yeah, if you're, if that's broken, I don't know how you get a twist other than a turn of vanilla, a turn of chocolate. Cause that's not how you can't just when make a solid cone. I don't care why I care that that happened to me and it was tragic. I don't disagree with you. So that's how your soft serve stuff works. Then you go to clean the machine. It's not pleasant, like the vanilla side is fine, but the chocolate side, every time you clean it, you have to rinse it with like water. We'd clean it every day. We cleaned the soft serve machine every day and watching just like the chunks of chocolate that weren't fully liquid that would stick to the sides and look like splatter in the top. It made soft serve really unappealing to me, whereas with, you know, normal ice cream or hard ice cream, whatever you want to call it, you always know what you're going to get. I mean, if someone leaves it out, it doesn't do a good job or covers it properly. You can get like freezer burn and then it's bad. But you can scrape off freezer burn to get to the good part. If you eat ice cream like a normal person and you take care of it, it's consistent. It's better. There's a lot more options for flavor. The one thing, I guess you could say about soft serve as you can make like the, like the blizzards from dairy queen stuff where it's a lot easier to mix in like toppings and make stuff like that. UDF had like 200 ice cream flavors and we only ever had it most maybe four soft serve flavors. Two at a time or three if you count the twists as its own flavor. Ice cream has infinitely more possibilities. It's more consistent, hard ice cream. If that's what we're calling it superior by 9,000 miles. I'm not saying soft serve isn't good. There's in a day where I craves of serve sure, but it doesn't mean it's higher quality or better. Oh, there's no right answers here, but Wade was right. I feel slapped and kissed at the same time. Thank you. Well, I didn't insult you. I know, but I still felt like that for some reason. Okay. Well, you're welcome. All right. Let onward deeper into the rabbit hole keyboards. We all have hard keyboards. I think in front of us right now because we're all at computers, but we all also use soft keyboards every day of our lives on our phone or our tablet or on the touchscreen thing at the store that you have to use or what have you. And I think it's hard to argue that the user experience of a software keyboard is better in any way than the user experience of a normal hard keyboard. But would you really carry around a hard keyboard with you every place you went in order to use it for anything you might need to use it for? Isn't there a reason that blackberries died? I don't know. What are you guys think hard keyboards off keyboard? It's his turn to go first hard keyboard. You my favorite phone I ever had was a phone you would hold up and you could slide the back down. And there was a little keyboard you could type on a hard keyboard. And man, my things did not correct to something stupid whenever I tried to hit space. It didn't hit enter all the fucking time or period. I could reach all the letters perfectly. I loved that phone so much. And it only died because of like Apple conspiracy where they killed the creators of the real keyboard probably and have them locked in a basement, those other survivors. And they've destroyed all the engineers of small hard keyboards. I'm wearing my tinfoil hat. And I know that that's what happened because hard keyboard phones were the epitome of life and hard keyboard much better than soft ever could be. Yeah, it's a company that makes a thing where you could just it like magnets to your phone. And you have a basically exactly what you're talking about. Oh, man, you're taking my points. Man, he's robbing my points right from my point cradle. Oh, that's fine. It helps me. I'll take it. Mark, you can have a robbed a robbed point point. Sorry, bud. Yeah, I was literally looking up the the clicks keyboard thing or is that what is called the clicks? Yeah, it's called clicks or something. You know, back in my day, you didn't have to have greedy accessories that just came with the keyboard. I think however, there's a problem with the clicks thing. And I don't know how they've overlooked it, but they did is because they just put it at the bottom where it could make the phone longer. I didn't have any of these phones, but you know, in the back of the day, they were like, "Swoosh, you're turning me flip, you're rotating me." Wow, the keyboard coming out was like part of the thing. It's like, why didn't they just make a landscape that they can sell a Porsche version of? Why didn't they make a landscape version that could go on sideways? You could have a big because this is hard enough on a small keyboard on a digital one. It's even harder on a physical one where your fat thumb can actually press the other ones. Instead of having the progressively getting worse intelligent features, but you know, secretly make the buttons, different sizes based on what you think you're gonna get. - That's wrong. - All the time now. But you know, I'm just like, it shows that there is a need, but it shows also that the people design the products, sometimes still don't fully reconcile with what might actually be useful in my opinion. - Yeah, I will say, I did have a couple phones that had physical keyboards and the vertical ones, all misery. I have big hands, I have big thumbs, I've never used a vertical keyboard that wasn't just pure agony to try and deal with, but the horizontal ones, oh man, I had the first Android phone that ever launched, I had the T-Mobile G1 back in the day, and it had a screen that like, I had like a fancy double hinge in the screen, it didn't just slide, it like, ooh, and oh god, did that thing have the best physical keyboard? It was so good, it had a number row, it had character keys, fucking yeah, I did appreciate that, but I just feel like, I do appreciate software keyboards that they exist and that you can have that as a solution. I don't know if I'm gonna come down hard on the side of this or not, but nobody does a good job of implementing them, I think is the biggest problem that both kinds of keyboards face, right? - I had a singular plan, and I think I had like one of my first flip phones. The keyboard was just the number pad, right? So it was just like, you had to press two, three times, I get to the letter C or whatever it was. - Bro, T9 texting was the shit, I missed T9. - Oh man, I remember the top part of my phone broke off, so I no longer had a screen, but for whatever reason, I could still text and like talk, like I could call people and talk to them, but I couldn't hear. So I would text people and be like, I really hope these are the correct letters I am sending. (laughing) But there's one way calls for like two or three weeks. - Oh god, damn, that's hilarious. - Every time Wade calls, you pick up, and he's just like mid-set and it's like, "I'm coming home, shown, I'm leaving, "I'm coming, I'll be there in 25 minutes." - Okay, you're like, okay, fuck, god, Jesus, it's the all the same sentence for minutes straight. - Just repeating, I repeat the message three times to make sure it goes through. - I mean, it's definitely should stay dead, but T9 texting was a good solution in a world where you were trying to type on a keyboard that had 12 total buttons. - I think that might be part of the reason why all these like shortcuts for words were invented, 'cause it's like any long message you had to type out was like, "Oh god, why is my name gonna be "Schmitty, Warben, Menjensen going over "to Schmitty, Warben, Menjensen?" And that by the time I text, it's three hours of gone by. - Schmitty, Warben, Yeager, Menjensen. - Oh, even longer. (laughing) Yeager. - Anyway, we're old key words are funny. Blackberries should stay where they ended up because blackberry keyboards were always awful. - You know, is there anybody at Blackberry right now that's like, "Oh, physical keyboards are coming. "Guys, fire up the machines. "Get the belts moving." - Jim Skeleton gets shaking. Like Jim, wake up, we're back at it. - I'm sure they've drifted along as a company 'cause I think they have, but it's like, this would be their time to be like, all that money we've been saving up for this one moment and definitely haven't been spending on CEO bonuses or something like that. It's time. It's like, "Go!" - The Blackberry fully touched screen phone that they launched. This is something just no one will give it any shits about. But I had a friend who had that. And I remember how sad it was 'cause he was really excited, right? It was in the era when software keyboards were starting to become a thing. And like the iPhone existed and it was in the era of the Moto, the Moto, whatever, the first Moto's Android phones. I had a ringtone, it said, "Hello, Moto." They were like a little beat to it like. - It was like, "Oh, it's a Blackberry, but it's modern." It's got, it has the screen that moves and all. And then like after owning it for a brief time, he was like, "Wow, Blackberry fucking sucks." Like the only thing about Blackberry is that it's the form factor of a Blackberry. A Blackberry in the shape of every other cell phone on the market is just a terrible cell phone. - They were like the premier phone for a while. Like if you had a Blackberry, you were real fancy. - Well, yeah, 'cause business, 'cause business people needed to send emails and they revolutionized how you could send emails over cellular networks and blah, blah, blah. - According to all the clips of the movie about Blackberry that I've seen on YouTube shorts and TikTok, they were revolutionary in what they were doing. (laughing) - Yeah, that was the thing. I've seen that guy from it's always sunny in Philadelphia screaming at his employees about something, something, client side, something. - Oh, that is that guy. Oh, that's, I thought he looked familiar. - The angry boss guy from the Blackberry movie is Dennis. (laughing) That's not my sunny. - Wow. - He's such a good actor. Like his range is ridiculous because he is actually just becomes different roles and you'll be like, holy shit, that is him. The fuck? All right, deeper. Hard or soft, drink containers. And before you think you know the answer and jump to a conclusion, think about it a little bit more deeply. 'Cause I'm calling Squeezy Water Bottles Soft. Even though they're not exactly like, you know, pillows, they're Squeezy. - I'm asking this for a friend. What about boobs? - Boops, harder soft. - You mean milk bags? That's a soft drinking container. Oh, boobs, you mean milk bags? Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, look, if we're talking about in the context of drink containers, yes. Austin, did you know that milk comes in bags in Canada? - Yes, I did know that. - What the fuck, Canada? - They got milk bags in Canada? - You buy milk bags at the store in Canada. - Kids see those. What about, okay, aluminum cans. When you hold them before they're open, they're hard because of pressure. But afterwards, they kind of crinkle a little bit. They're a little softer. They are a tiny bit flexible. As opposed to what I'm thinking, you're thinking like a cup like this being hard. - Well, even like a Capri Sun pouch when it's filled with liquid, it's hard because it has volume inside it, right? Like, I would say the can, 'cause it's a crushable, it's, you could crush those up with your hands. I would say those are soft. I mean, unless you're a madman, you can't crush like a ceramic coffee mug with your hands down to like-- - Right, right. Anything that is malleable with your own strength, right? - All right, I'm gonna go out on a very niche use case for this because in the long run, I'm not sure if it matters that much unless you got some genius thing, but I'll give a niche case for soft things like a Capri Sun in general. When I traveled for making iron lung a lot, I had this exterior dock that I brought with me that had it's built in power supply. It was very useful, but it overheated a lot. So it got really warm 'cause it really wasn't a big fan in there, I don't even know if there was a fan. But I learned a trick which is a Capri Sun has an aluminum soft aluminum-based pouch. I don't know if it's fully aluminum, but it's soft. So if you kept them in the fridge and or kept them in the freezer, here's how the order you do, you get the one from the fridge it's cold. You lay it on top of there, it would kind of mull the little bit to the shape of it and then it would heat up and it would be a little heat sink. I would take that shape, put it in the freezer afterwards. It would freeze flat on the bottom so that I could put it back on and then I served a chain of probably the people that TVD wondered if I had an addiction to Capri Sun because I kept grabbing them all. That's so fucking funny. Why is Mark getting down the Capri Suns from crafty every five minutes he gets into the Capri Sun? What the fuck is this? And it works, it would last for like, when it was frozen it would last for like an hour and it wouldn't really drip on anything. It didn't for some reason, it didn't condensate that much. It worked really effectively as like a little cooling pad for tech, no one do this or it might leak on your tech or something like this. I did this because like I knew, I didn't know what I was doing. I was just desperate, right? People with the ambitions of Mark's server room and his bathroom with like a Capri Suns living. (laughing) I'm telling you, it worked man. It's just a thermal heat sink at the end of the day. Go pro, listen, I've got ideas for the future. Would you like a wild cherry? Liquid has a really high whatever the scientific term for heat capacity is, you know, it has a high that. So isn't that a specific temperature where how much energy it takes to change its temperature by a degree or whatever or something like that? Yeah, and because it's flexible and also has an aluminum pouch. Plastic's not very thermally conductive, but the Capri Sun pouches at least if they still make them with aluminum, which I'd probably change out of that, they are very conductive, not as conductive of some metals, but aluminum still conducts heat. I want Capri Suns so bad right now. That's so fucking funny though, oh my God. That's such a good idea. Yeah, see, so soft, go away. (laughing) No, that's so, there's a pull up at Mark's house and there's a fucking huge palette of glower salts in the trash and then there's a Capri Sun cooler park next to his server farm. The fucking silver surfer from the Capri Sun commercial is just like, oh, whoosh, gotta render these physics sims. Whoosh. (laughing) I mean, I'm telling you work, do we? I can't believe you never told that story. I know you were in the absolute depths of suffering of making this movie that consumed you for years, but that's so fucking funny. (laughing) Can I give another little hack that I did for my render farm real quick, but as an aside? So the max, a lot of people know I had max studios in my render farm and people were like, that's crazy, it's like, but it makes sense 'cause power efficiency and they're, I'm, going to the Apple event, the Worldwide Developer Conference. I'm going to tell them that I did this and also I'm going to tell my hack to stack them in a way that made them thermally balanced is because it's a big flat block of aluminum, right? So what I did was I put one like this and then one upside down like that with a thermal pad in between to like exchange heat between the tooth surfaces and overall the temperature lowered between both of them because as one worked versus the other. 'Cause you had a bigger heat dissipation. Yeah, because I had a thermal pad in between, it was able to like exchange heat between the surfaces. 'Cause it's just a big brick of aluminum. And so I did ba, ba, ba, stacked them up like that. Like I did the coffee creamers in like the restaurant when you go in there and you stack one with a little triangle shape and go into the other, like to the other, to the other. And I did that and it worked. And because it left a larger gap where the fans were, so it was able to suck in more, it worked. Anyway. I could find a way to get cheap, big heat sink fins and then use the fins as spacers. And like, there's like air flow. Oh my, well, fuck it, you don't need the fins then you just need like copper plates, right? That's what I had. I had a thermally conductive gel pad in between them. So I'm just thinking like if you had pipes, if you had heat exchange pipes through them or fins, right? 'Cause then you could extract more, you could lower the overall temperature even more. You could build like a rack setup where it's like, you can put eight Mac studios in this and it's all head-to-head heat sinked with copper, whatever, or like, man, so you gotta tell these stories, Mark. That's funny shit. - I try, I try. - No one likes-- - Oh, you're always like, oh, lenses on, you know, GoPro. You gotta tell me how you manage heat in your electronic devices, Mark. This is the shit that I'm here for. - That's the one niche. - This is how you score points with me, man. (laughing) - And it's a story for everyone. - Dom Caveman Wade, like Capri Sun. Bob, get technology good out of it. - All right, okay, it works for everybody. - That's so good. I like that. - Yeah, true story everybody about the Capri Sun. Very true. - I bet you're gonna say that to them and they're gonna be like, oh, cool. And then go back to telling about how Apple Intelligence is the next great feature in computing and whatever. - Yeah, probably, really. - Wade, good luck. - Look, I think soft is so much fun. I love the portability usability. I am a soft guy, but. - Even that being said, listen, boobs, the best evolutionary trait ever. Like, am I right? - We used to have hard boobs back in my day. - Yeah. - Soft boobs, damn. - Changing the world. But part of me always feels bad with all of the soft that I use. 'Cause like, it does make a lot of waste. And even with recycling, there's still a lot of waste and byproduct. Whereas just a nice hard glass. You know, you can clean it out and reuse it. You can dishwasher. Like, it's just, it's always there and it doesn't produce that amount of waste. So as much as I do enjoy the soft. Love the soft. I'm a soft guy. I feel like hard is probably the better answer for the sheer fact that like I think of how many water bottles and cans and stuff I go through. How many like, awful Styrofoam cups and stuff I go through that would be counted as soft. Like, a lot of waste and it's probably really, really bad for pretty much everything. - That is true, generally, that is just true. That's just true, fast, yeah. - But Mark's was so much more fun. Good job, Mark. - I agree, fun, fun is fun, it's so fun. - Thank you, thank you. The company sudden cycling them through the freezer though. 'Cause I've had things, I've had laptops and things where like it just runs hot and you're like, yeah, I just need like a fucking sun to get the heat out of this that's not gonna like drip all over it or some stupid, it's such a good, such an elegant solution. Plus they sell Capri Suns everywhere, at least in America through. - By a man's true. - By a man every grocery store that exists. Not like Glauber Salts. - Hard to come by. - All right, deeper, hard or soft, dentist. This one is more, I like my dentist direct. Listen, this is more of a, it's, I don't know, it's a theoretical hard or soft, but I don't like the dentist, right? But my philosophy is, I want a dentist who's gonna strap me to the chair like I'm against my will and it's gonna get in there and it's gonna fucking, and do whatever they need to do, not to fuck up my teeth, but to fix my teeth, right? I have had some teeth problems. I would rather, even though I hate it, and it makes me cringe just thinking about, I would rather have a dentist who's like, I'm gonna get the fucking there, I'm gonna clean every little speck up. 'Cause if you have a soft dentist, then you're like, maybe it's really pleasant. Maybe they'll play you some onion, maybe it's really, but then are they really cleaning your teeth enough? Is that enough? You tell me, harder soft dentist, go. - Okay, Bob, for the point, I agree with you 100%. - No, I don't have steak in this. You get points from making good arguments. - I'm pretty sure you did. - No, no, that's not how this works. I'm completely unbiased, go. - I love my dentist in my mouth. ♪ Who can say one-a-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, no. - But you know what, you're not saying right? You're going to be coming from, right? Is it my crazy here? - Yes, I think a good dentist doesn't feel like they've strapped you down in a torture, you butt do a thorough job, you can have a bad dentist that straps you down in a bad dentist that's just like, "You're clean, time to go." Like, what the fuck? - I definitely want one that does their job. So I guess if that's hard, what do they just throw in my mouth? Wait, what was that? - Magical cleaning dust. - That's where the clean grenade into my mouth. It's just a nice flavor. What flavor would you like that bad? You're clean. - No, give me the hard one, I guess, 'cause I want them to do their job, but like, my dentist is both, like, I get some nice music in the background. I feel, "What did both?" - I've always liked the dentist. I'm weird. I prefer the dentist to the doctor. I do not mind having my teeth scraped. - Many points am I allowed to take away for one thing, you said. - Apparently a lot. - I've always liked the dentist. - Compared to the doctor, yes. Like, no one likes going to eye there, but like. - Compared to the doctor. - I will go to the dentist over the doctor any day, yeah. - The doctor doesn't do anything to you 80% of the time. - I get so much more nervous at a doctor's office. - They touch you and they're like, "Oh, yeah, it sounds like a heartbeat." And then you leave, and then it's fine. What does your doctor do? - There's always shots and animals and ball squeezes and stuff. - What? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! You need to get one of the soft doxxers, what the hell? The dentist just makes my teeth nice and sparkly. - But the fuck, Mark, I'm not have no stake in which answer here is correct, but save us, please. - Look, I'm not 100% on board with my dentist being in the tooth trenches and coming out of the tooth war and going into my mouth and having a tooth flashback. Oh, I don't know if I need that. They can talk to you gentle and scrape your teeth with a metal pick. I don't think that's too bad, because I don't know, I just don't need to be strapped into my chair. But they can be hard but nice, but like a good teacher, right? Like, they don't take any bullshit from your teeth. - Right. - You know what I mean? - They don't talk about your debt. - Don't call them up by name, but like. - They don't fuck around, that's who my dentist is. They're good dentists. - You know, Paul, what did my teeth do to that? What can I attitude as I get them with my teeth? - This teeth better not give me any lip. I don't even make sense. I'm gonna have the teeth expelled if they keep causing problems in your mouth. - Those tongues get in the way of the cleaning amputate. We'll put it back later. (laughing) - I guess, you know, 'cause it makes it sound like the soft dentist is not gonna do a good job. And this is how I am with dentists is I made a dentist appointment to go, 'cause I was having some tooth pain. All the sour cane is like, oh, I probably got a cavity. And you know, they said, oh, I don't think you don't have a cavity, but you know, we could do some and maybe like your gums are a little like, they might need something here. It's a little low on this one side. I'm like, that makes sense, that makes sense. All right, we'll get you next month and be like, all right, come back. I'm like, okay. And I miss the appointment I never came back. I was so afraid that they'd be mad at me. (laughing) I don't know why. Just like, oh, man, they're gonna be pissed. I show up together, you're like, oh, Mark. I was wondering what you'd show up. And so I'd be like, I don't know why. I just haven't gone back. That was three years ago. I was like that for a while. All through college, whenever I was no longer, well, the younger me, my mom's health insurance. I didn't have any health insurance and like college and stuff. And I was like, I can't afford a dentist. So I didn't go to the dentist for like seven or eight years. And the last three years, I didn't go. We're just like, well, I've not been in four years. If I go now, they're gonna be so mad at me. We're not going for the previous four. Yeah, they're gonna be mad. They're gonna be mad. No, it's real. I had that same feeling. I was like, I don't want to go. The fear is real. This is a PSA, I guess for Mark too, but for everyone, go to the dentist, guys. Yeah, go to the dentist. Oh God, go to the dentist. No matter how bad you think it's gonna be, it's so much worse when you're going to the dentist because a tooth is falling out or you're bleeding. And you're like, wow, why is my mouth bleeding? Oh, fuck. It just go because maybe you can't afford it. The realities of the world are what they are. But if you can, go to the dentist. Holy fuck, go to the dentist because I am not. I'm gonna have some old procedures coming up and I'm not looking forward to it. I wish my teeth weren't so fucked. I really don't. do. I can't say this for everyone. My dentist office, I think works with people really well too for affordability stuff. I don't know that all of them are like that, but like there are dentist office that understand and will work with you. And make sure you find a hard one. No stake in the answers here, but hard was the correct answer. Point for Wade. Objective point for Wade. I lost an unknown amount of points for my answer, but also I gained one. Even though Mark said hard also. I don't know if I gave an answer. I was a real Lucy, which I think speaks to my character. I tried to make this list so that it would sort of descend into the madness, but I feel like I'm not sure if any of these are going to get deeper. And I guess I'm curious now about that, but I wish that they were more unhinged. I have strong feelings about this one situationally. Curious what you guys think. Hard or soft bags, all in any bags. That's a hard bag like a hard suitcase. You know how they have like coolers where it's like a hard, you know, hard shell bag type of deal or like a like a sturdy purse is like a hard bag like a nice thick leather per you know, hard bag or soft bag. This speaks to how much better hard bags are because I can put in completely different category because imagine like a purpose built system of bags with hard bags all the way around with like they cinch closely lock tight and like it's like pelkin cases all the way down, you know, there's something about like a Lucy goosey bag that just can flop around and spill all your contents. You put it in another bag and this is going to flop everywhere. It's going to be all non-committal and whatnot. But it's like if you have a hard bag like what you're saying, it's purpose built for an express solution. And that's the solution I need. I don't need any wishy washingness with my bag. I need it for the intended purpose. It's laser cut to fit the things that I'm going to put in this thing. And it's going to be secure as hell. I'm all about this. That being said, I dump all my shit in my backpack and then go off to France. It's what I do. Look, both things can be true. Yeah, yeah. But when I find the bag that's hard and purposely for the thing, I'm like, oh my god. And I buy them. And I've got a stack of pelicans, you know, to sit in there empty. But they're there. They're there. They're way there. Yeah. Yeah. In theory, hard bag, in practice, soft bag. Same thing. What do I transport? I don't transport all my like equipment and stuff. I transport clothes and like some toiletries. And you and I need something that's light, whenever you're running through the Chicago airport and have to get 13 miles in 10 seconds. And I need something that I'm not going to hit my foot on and break my toe like a hard bag and space. My god is space hard to come by. And you can't squish down hard bag. You can squish down soft bag. You fit so many soft bag. And whenever those bags are empty, they maybe not suitcases, but your backpack is perfectly flat. Other bag is perfectly flat. Those bags they only let you have in California at the grocery store anymore. You can stuff 500 of those things in one other bag. And then you have infinite bags. I could definitely run out of bags from going to the grocery store three times because there's so many bags. I love wigs. California stand-up routine. Whereas hard bag. Like, what am I going to do? Go to the grocery store with my pelican. Like, I need eggs and two liter. Here's hard bag. Soft is so much more useful. Hard, protect your electronics and grandma or whatever else you're carrying around. Sure. I get it soft. Oh, the portability, the lightness, the aerodynamics. I will say about the California thing. They undid the thing with the plastic because it was like they made just the plastic bag sticker. And so they went back to like, yeah, you plastic paper or whatever. And so now paper bags are a thing. And the unfortunate thing is because paper bags used to be at grocery stores and they were free with, you know, you check out there there. Now it's the same paper bags that were there before, but they still charge 15 cents for them. And I have to go to the grocery store and I'm like, hey, wait a minute. Hey, why do you move the golf pose? Hey, wait a minute. Hold on a second. They were always like this. No, I don't think so, sir. Mr. Groesch. This is hardly a bag conversation at all, but can I just say you know those collapsible boxes where it's like a little crate and it folds flat kind of deal? Those are what you want for the grocery store. Holy shit. You get one or two of those and you put them in the bottom of your cart, and then you just, and then when you go to your car, you fucking take one or two boxes out of the cart into your car. There's no like, how many bags can I hold 19 bags on one arm and still open the door to the, no, one good box, but that's not a bag. That's not, I would not say that that's like a hard bag. That's a, that's a box. So it doesn't really count. I just, I really like that. I discovered that at some point and was like, God, I love a box. I love a grocery box, you know? Anyway, I decide who's right. I understand it's difficult, but it's me. Well, I understand that that might complicate things, but it's me. There are no points for that. Last one. Okay. That's a lie. I gave points for that. I was just, oh, okay. I said we would circle back to this. So I basically have to or else, I'm pretty sure I'm fired hard or soft boat and think about it before you left. Oh, sorry, David. Now I need to do that hard or soft is a soft boat like a raft like a dinghy like those inflatable dinghy's where they get rigid when you inflate them kind of deal like a pontoon kind of thing. It depends how you feel about it. I gotta go even even love, I love a pontoon. I could say a pontoon a hard boat because you don't want to get hit with a pontoon because I don't have a dinghy on too much. Maybe it will hide in a speed, but like traversing Lake Cumberland growing up, beautiful lake, the waves and everything, but there's trees and plants and rocks and things and the water level changes and storms happen. And sometimes there's just fucking logs and trees. You can't even see there floating and stuck just below the surface. And if you hit one of those things with like, I don't know if you count like a fireburg glass is hard, but like a speed, some of the speedboats. Those things touch one of those trees. They're fucked. A dinghy touches one of those trees. You are fucked, but if you have a nice solid boat, you might still be fucked, but maybe less likely to be so. So give me hard. Give me diamond crystal boat. That fucking tree and half. Fuck those underwater trees and their murderous tendencies on the lake. I just want to be on my tube, but you know what tubes are? Soft. And if you hit a tree on a tube, and you die in the sky, explode. Yeah, that's what happens. I do. I tube wrong. How cousin Larry went. Jesus. Hard boats and soft. It's a hard hard boat soft tube. Casting like you were making the case for hard boat hard tube, if I'm honest, probably need to, but like a hard tube. That's really painful to bounce on land on maybe his hard bottom soft top. Look, okay, all right. Let me, let me clean up his meandering lost answer here with a quote from I be sailing who, as you know, was on the Titanic. One of the hardest boats around and he's still his quote goes, because they died right from their hard boat getting bodewinked by an iceberg and it just blend half much like a taco. This is a soft situation. When I, when we crash in our hard hard plane into the water, do I want to be in the hard, hard plan or do I want to be in the soft soft slide? I want to be in the soft slide, which doubles as a boat. All of their floatation devices soft. When you absolutely need to float, you go soft. Counterpoint. What do you think's harder? Water or ice? Which one floats? That's right. Hard. Yeah, which one's deadly ice? The iceberg from I be sailing who was famously on the Titanic. Once again, said, Oh, look out hard water. You know what else is deadly? Hard oxygen. Probably. I won't deny that. I will concede that. So what's your point? Hard is bad? Yeah, hard bed. No, hard good. No, but you said hard oxygen is dangerous. So hard oxygen is also bad. So hard is bad. Hard hydrogen is probably soft hydrogen. What's the one to breathe in? I think he's, I think he's on my side here. I think hydrogen monoxide. Sounds bad. Well, I'm not a chemist. So I don't know about these things. I'm not a crook. I'm Richard Nixon. I was going to make the point and Mark brought it up. You would think hard boat Titanic sunk by ice dangerous. One boat in 130 years. So soft is the answer. Titanic is actually a soft boat. That's my conclusion here. Titanic needed to be harder in order to destroy the ice instead of being destroyed by it. Because I can crush ice with my teeth. Ice is not that hard. Okay. I'm sure all ice is exactly the same. And it works the same way. And when I have a drink and I crunch up ice, there's no way that a boat should be less hard than my shitty teeth that I go to my hard dentist to maintain. So really Titanic soft boat, Titanic two needs to be hard boat. In the era, we were only able to get so hard in the time. But I gotta say, of the time, was the Titanic not the hardest boat they made? As Kal Hockley said, it is unsinkable. Even God himself could not sink this ship. So that's pretty hard. Okay. What's so Kal is saying that God loses to ice too? God dang. Francis Stokes said the sea finds out everything you did wrong. Hard or soft. Remember the alternate ending to Titanic where Jack and Rose instead of having sex We're tucked tape for the side of Titanic and just bit their way through the iceberg and saved the boat. Yes, hard teeth Better than ice like you were saying Bob. You are so smart and right hard teeth. Therefore hard boat I have other quotes that make no sense. I could read. I think that's enough quotes. I think I've heard enough the Bibles Go on. Let's go ahead and and call it there. I think we really got to the bottom of hard or soft I think everybody who was watching and listening knows which one they would want So let's just tally up some points and get out of here mark You earned points for You died Taxi Moto when you realize it was a motorcycle. Yeah, Bice about beard lice for Wade Imagine having a GoPro you were correct about tacos. You had I be sailing who came back a lot In fact, I actually think I owe you an I be sailing point. You were robbed? Yes. Yeah, definitely. Okay, Caprice on heat sinks. That was genius. That might be the smartest thing I've ever heard the perfect bag you'd never use I own some of those. They're the best and wait You earned points for realizing that you are weighed. You were an assassin blah blah something Diablo Greater than or equal to eight years of dating the ego is down That was a good one. You were correct about ice cream. You hit me with a classic back in my day You're a soft guy self-proclaimed. You're correct about the dentists being hard and you got ask kissing points Yes That leaves once I add Mark's extra I be sailing point because I be sailing came around a lot and you have to respect it Mark with 11 points and Wade with 11 points Wade was actually up by two But then I realized that I didn't count one of the points that I wrote down and then Mark earned the extra I be sailing point Mark's just out here doing a good job. Thank you, man. Thank you And so is Wade to a lesser extent. We're tied But that is me doing it equally good job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on I must be the neighborhood bass box. Everyone's taking a swing. How many wheel spins will we have it's one? Oh my god One spin to rule them all wow two ones and are we never get ones? Well, good ones today I'm gonna say whoever was the soft Just boy this episode gets a point and we will definitely not know what that means when it comes up God that this clear all button just existing right here makes me nervous seeing you over over it Like what if I just put it there and then I just pick up the mouse There must be a confirmation there would have to be right. Oh, I should maybe I should click it and find out Yeah, one way to find out I mean you've got a backup of this right Oh That's my confidence week 109 options on this wheel. I'm sure this one spin will result in not me spitting for a one-man show. Ah fate Hmm, can we not oh Wait, we're all here. We're all here at home. Yeah, everyone's home. Okay. We remember what that means It was witness protection everyone at home listening. Oh, yeah, it said witness protection. Sorry Listeners. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Oh Come on Got the flat ass. You know what I mean No, it's too late man. It's too late. It's too late. What's it's weird too late got past tense. It's best got us Best get a sh** shit. One that we do this spot. No one got flat marks. Correct. Yeah, I don't think we got flat That one's ever gonna work though. No one's ever gonna get flat for another reason Worst guesser. Who the f**k did anyone guess anything in this episode? We've never spun any of these ever, but I do. I guess we do know what that would be But yeah, it wasn't really a guessing game. Yeah, I guess You guess. Yeah, that's funny. You both guessed. I guess you did at least And I can earn points that way most impressions of the others. Wow, these are crazy different men We've never spun any of these. I usually interrupt the most. It was probably me. I bose me Not to interrupt my opponent, but I think it was me. Damn it. You didn't interrupt me to tell me it was you. I had a couple I had a couple different. You know, I went on a tangent or two. I went on a cosine or a sine. I Feel that but I also just feel like it's fine. I just don't know if there were interruptions, you know Whoever puts these on this wheel just have some terrible ideas Wait loses a point Holy shit that one - that's such a different. I forgot about though. I've got such bad reception right now It's unfair. I used to like try to read the answers before it came up So I would know if this one was coming up. I forgot about that It says last-to-touch nose loses a point and Mark and I both Frantically touched our noses and Wade didn't even react I was kind of debated because it could be one where it's like first to touch nose loses a point or something like that Which should be added there it's yeah That's uh, it's the latency latency. It's latency. I'm on the other side of the country. You can't even use that excuse Yeah, but you and Bob are so in sync. We are it's true. I'm very biased towards Mark It's just generally a true statement. I'm more backstreet boys. But anyway, Mark wins with a score of 11 to 10 Because Wade lost a point for being the slowest to touch his nose Shit ass fuck classic distractable goof everybody Congratulations, Mark. Uh, Wade loser speech It was a well-thought-fight finicky Fraught Filling Forlorn Farewell Mark you can do a normal winter speech if you want or you can pick a iteration whenever whichever one you choose Firmly fun feelings filling friends fine fanciful feasts for fucking fools fancily fairly Financially Fun Long day nice French cans. That's true. If anybody hears French, it's Mark Freedom a classic mark winner speech. Congratulations, Mark. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Well watchers slash listeners Make sure you're following the podcast because Mark will be hosting the next one, which is always good Way better than would wait house the next one. Sorry, Wade. Oh Jesus Christ Yeah, I said that make sure you check out the merch store distractable.shop The special five-year merch is maybe sold out, but maybe there's other stuff you have to look You gotta stay on top of that follow mark at markplier. Wait at Lord minion777 or minion777. I am my skirm That is the end of this episode. We'll see you with another one next Monday hosted by Mark and until then podcast out