Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

Welcome to your mom's house. Hope you had a great holiday week. You were with your families. If you're an American, if you're not American, this, you know, nothing matters anyway. No. Your life isn't significant. You know what really made me upset is that we're not black because black Thanksgiving from what I understand is where it is. Black Thanksgiving is NBA all-star weekend. Is that what you're talking about? No. Oh. Are you talking about Thanksgiving? They're actual food items I've heard. Oh, yes. Are so much superior because we don't have flavor in our food, which is why I don't enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. Blan. Blan. Blan. I've never enjoyed Thanksgiving. Flavorless. I don't like it at all. Why did the settlers not enjoy seasoning? I don't like turkey. I don't like cranberry sauce. I don't like fucking pumpkin pie. I like the pie. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. But the turkey is dry and seasoned gravy is disgusting. Luckily we were at a place that also did like a prime rib. Yeah. That was pretty good. It's but it's bloody and gross too. Prime rib didn't taste like shit either. I mean, it was pretty good. It was seasoned well. Why don't you say overall that American food is flavorless and bland cardboard, much like our English ancestors? I'd say there's more like, I mean, there's there's seasoned good flavored food here. But black people make it, not the ones. Yeah. Black people do season the shit out of their food. That's true. Their whole thing is like, here's 100,000 times the amount of seasoning you think you need. Yes. It doesn't that lead to Paisodium and then they get the diabetes sugar. They get the sugar. Yeah. Yeah. So there's always got to be a middle ground. There's a middle ground and it's with Latinos. Yes. You think? What do they do? Tamales. I mean, I don't know. Everybody has their own cuisines, but I mean, if you talk about real crackers, then like, yeah, their food is bland, right? Yeah. And if you go to like whites, American whites, very, I don't know. But if you go to southern whites, they seem to see it because there are around so many black people. So many black people. That's a good point. Yeah. Now, if you go to West Coast whites, they're mostly influenced by Jews and Mexicans. It's flavor. For instance, where I grew up in LA. Flavor town, USA. Flavor town, yeah. We like to have seasons. Yeah. Seasonings and stuff. Yeah. But here in Texas, I don't know, they like it pretty crackery. You think so? They like barbecue, which is black adjacent. Yeah, it's black. But that's flavorful. That's flavor town. There's barbecue places. You don't go like there's no seasoning here. No, I like it. Yeah. It's flavored. And there's usually like a big honky over the pit master. I know. It's like a big fucking fat white guy. White's like to barbecue. I love it. But I don't like a dry rub. I like a wet rub. Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, you're in the right place. I mean, Texas has a lot of sauces. Uh-huh. My favorite is dreamland barbecue. That's your favorite? That's my favorite. I like barbecue. La barbecue in Austin. That shit is excellent. And I also like Terry Blacks. Of course. Um, there's like, there's a bunch of good ones to be honest. But, um, I like that La barbecue brisket, but it's really good. Yeah. Can I tell you what's really been making a splash? Hmm. Your quesalence. Holy shit. People, I don't think you understand. I don't think you understand. This isn't like me going like, oh, I found a business to invest in. No. I made it a mission to bring my favorite pastry to the place that I live. Yeah. And it meant like hiring people to move states and open a place. They're selling out every day. Every day. If you have not been to Chichobamba, it's in the fairground food hall in downtown Austin, which is right on congress. It's underneath the Wells Fargo building. And it's a bunch of like little food setups. So this food is outrageous. This is fresh made, the real deal authentic Italian pastries. And we have savory stuff too, but we're selling out daily. Like people are messaging me. I got here. Everything sold out, which is like, it is so exciting. I know. I'm so excited. And the post that I've been seeing on Instagram are that people are like, guys, this is real Italian stuff. It's the real deal. But the horse shit that America feeds you, these bland, this is real Italian stuff, guys. It is, man. This guy, he's he's fantastic. Gianba is like the, he's he's a real dude who, who brought like his recipes from the, from the motherland with him, you know, like he, he's like a traditional story of like mother cooked a lot. And he just got, you know, into it at a young age and then just developed his own skills and passion for it. But that's, it's a family business, it's a legit family. These are just of family people. He's a fiery Italian dude. Yeah. That's so good. He's great. Yeah. Yeah. He makes amazing food. The sweet stuff is, is again, you know, it's such a treat. And then he does a bunch of savory stuff. He's doing homemade focaccia and pizza and, yeah, dude, it's all amazing. Yeah. Stop by. Stop by and see us. Yeah. A more elaborate fixed location opening after the new year is probably going to be honestly like in March. But this pop up location is going to stay until then at least. So come by and see us. It's really impressive. Also, guys, I want to thank everybody that purchased Black Friday stuff for a Christina P dot com my lipsticks, my velvet crush blush, my radiance bomb. It is all out now. This is the entire collection for the holidays. I highly recommend ordering now to get it in time for Christmas for Chanaka for whatever it is. You're celebrating. This is my new favorite color. You guys, this is it. I'm wearing it right now. It's called cuts you up. It's liquid lipstick and it stays on forever. And then I have my two glosses, my whimsy kiss gloss to new shades. It's all there Christina P dot com. Get it for the girls in your life. Get it. So good. It's such high quality stuff, you guys. And I know you're thinking this is, I don't know. I don't trust this brand and she's, this isn't Sephora. This isn't, yeah, because that stuff is cheap shit. Okay. Wow. It's true. It's true. I have my stuff imported all the way from Italy, much like our quesons. And it's, the quality is unrivaled. I like that. What was that sound? It was just an explosion. That was a, that was a new one. Yeah. Pretty cool. Christina's got a new product in the store. We have a new store, too, by the way, the one which store, a whole new thing's happening. A whole new thing. We got, we hired new designers. They have all new products. The quality of the stuff is outrageous. So much. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Where are the bodies? We have, which is taken the internet by stores. It's new high and tight. It's so nice. It's so good. It's so good. It's so great. Lots. There's some bumper stickers. There's all kinds of cool stuff, like there's, yeah, it's really exciting. There's some new two-bear stuff, like check it out, store it out on MHStudio.com. All right. Also, one last plug. My new special teacher comes out, Christmas Eve on Netflix. So get your families together, get grandma, get the kids settled by the Christmas tree. And on December 24th or 25th, watch teacher only on Netflix. Oh, I'm so, I gotta say Tim. Yeah. I feel like I'm gonna cry because I'm so impressed with this hour. Oh, thank you. I'm so, I'm very emotional because I'm serious and I feel like we're doing a press junket for Wicked right now. I feel like I'm, I'm so around the space open for this right now. Are you holding space for me? I am holding space for you. Yes. I'm so emotional because you talk about more personal stuff. Yeah. It was a really fucking, it was a great tour. I have to be like, express how grateful I am for the tour. Like it was a great tour. My crew is, is fucking awesome, you know, Kear and Matt and Dave Gary Sean. And I brought, I brought a number of people, but a lot of the tour was with Kirk Fox and Jeff Tate who are two good friends of mine for a long time. And it was, it was, and I brought Jordan a few times too, yeah. But those guys were on the majority of the days. It was just like a really, it was a fun experience. Like I felt like a varsity comedian in that I figured out how to tour a little more thoughtfully than before and I felt like that I kept it fun and then I ended up doing stand up that I was really happy with, you know. Yeah, and the, I mean, I don't know, I can cut this out if you want to, but there are stories about our kids. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it was really cool that you got to show that. I got to show them the other day. I was in the edit and I brought my boys around and I kind of thought about it. I was like, oh, are they going to get like, you know, I mean, because I've had things that before, you know, if anybody who has kids, you realize that there's things that a kid can grasp and that things that they don't grasp yet, right? Yeah. maturing, they're evolving. So I was like, are they gonna get it if I show them this chunk talking about them? Are they gonna be like, hey, what's that all about? And I was just like, no, I think they'll get it. So I just sat them down and I was like, hey, you understand that it's a performance, right? And I was kind of explaining like how comedy's always based on exaggerating something, right? It was an exaggeration factor. I'm like, are they gonna intellectually grasp that? And they were like, yeah, yeah, I got it. And then I showed it to them and they were fucking howling and I think it was the most fun I've ever had showing stand up to anyone was seeing them 'cause it was talking about them. - Yeah. - And he was like, yeah, that's me, man. Like you're really excited. - 'Cause there's some neat things you say about me. - There's neat stuff everywhere. - It's really cool, but I don't think I'd have the same reaction. You don't get to show me my bits. - Well, you've seen the bits. - Backstage, yes. I wouldn't dare go in the audience for those to embarrass it. - You've had that experience before too. - Well, have I. So anyway, really special. And I think it's fantastic. I'm so happy that they're releasing it on Christmas. You have some nice to watch with your family. - Yeah, it's a fun family watch. All right, we took forever to open. - I know, well, there's last time. You wanna see the opener? - Yeah. - Let's do it, Joe. Here we go. - Here you go. - You guys are all bunch of fucking losers. I mentioned I like someone. I really like someone. - Yeah. - First time and I lose three or four followers. You fucking idiots. You're talking to a man that has been celebrating for 17 fucking years. I got five fucking kids that I already raised. Pay child support and everything. You know, I got two dead fucking wives. - I said it big time. - Who is Randy? - Don't bring anyone loving to this. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Welcome to your mom's house. (coughing) (coughing) - And Chris, stop. - Stop. - It's increasing. - It's increasing. - It's a dead. - Here we go. - No, no, no, no. (upbeat music) What for that? (laughing) - So 80s. (upbeat music) - What's the need? - A saxophone. - Oh, yeah. - Because it would be time. - Remember in the 80s. (upbeat music) - You know what that beam song needs? - A saxophone. - Oh, yeah. (upbeat music) - Oh, wow. - Yeah. (coughing) - Fellas, you already know what time it is. 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I do, I do a lot, I do. Do you think this video needs a saxophone? He needs a lot. I don't understand why he needs two shells around his neck. I feel like one would have been sufficient. He's 18 fucking years, and I mentioned one person. And he's fucking losers. Me. I like his knife hanging on the wall. Goodbye, you fucking freaks. Yeah. I'm not far behind. The social media bullshit is fucking bullshit. Yeah. Having a law a fucking day. Loser. Hmm. Maybe he has a machete as well. Well, there's a lot going on. There's a lot. Also, the thing is that he made this video, which is interesting, because I'm kind of deduced what's happening. He said he's interested in someone. And then he clocked that he lost followers. Three or four. And then he got really upset about that. I wish he could see how my face turned out. It should have passed. I'd be like, yeah, I said something. I lost like 5,000 people. Same. And I also was like, yeah, that's fine. That's okay. Yeah. Well, these guys are noobs because he's a boomer. He's not really used to it. And now he's like, I've shared my soul. That means he's really tracking the number. Well, exactly. Exactly, too. He's like, whatever, 328. And then today, it's 353. But he was saying. 22, whatever. But he's saying that he's celibate, right? Like, he was not having sex. Yeah. He said 17 years, which is a long time. Wow. People in the comments keep calling him Gary Busy, which is-- Yeah, it's calling. What's his, can you go to his page? There he is. Oh, that's why he knows. He's got 720 people. But that's, you know, 720 people. It's a lot of people. Google Daddy is his handle. That's interesting. What's he saying there? He looks pretty well adjusted in this one with the seashells. Good morning. Should I say afternoon? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to get that time of day right. Smile. That's it. All right. We've given us a tour of his apartment complex. That's the parking deck. That's kind of cool. It's dirty. Who needs repaving? Yeah. That's it. He's like, we can get out of this. Okay. We can get out of this. Sunday. I had to figure that out. We're going to put that long to TV. Yeah. There are more control has than come in yet. I can't turn it on without the remote. True. So, fortunately, it's only $10 for this remote. Okay. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to rearrange my whole apartment and put it. Well, so. Hold on, Tom. How's he going to. I mean, it's compelling stuff that he's putting out. I'm surprised he's had people stick around this long. I got to tell you, man. The best thing you ever put out was talking to these fucking losers about. I don't know if I'm funny. Yeah. Like feeling that emotion. I really connected with that video. I connected with that video, but what I'm connecting with now. Yeah. Is that he's got two Frisbee's that are still in the packaging. What is he saving the Frisbee's for? I don't know. You guys are all bunch of fucking losers. He loves Frisbee, though. I love Frisbee's, but. Yeah. What's the point of a Frisbee if you're not going to play with the Frisbee? Yeah, you guys. Maybe he gives them away or something? I mean, I think they're backups because he's got one out of the package. Right. Oh, a fucking day. You know, we kind of glossed over this line. I got two dead fucking wives. Two? Two. That's such bad luck. I mean, you've been widowed and then it happens again? Not so bad luck. Jesus. But he seems like an upbeat guy. Most of the time, what I'm seeing is a pretty upbeat guy. That. He was just really emotional that day. He was really angry. You got it. Say I'll let him do some more. Wow. Two dead. He's a humble to a lion. So he's in Hawaii, he's lost two wives. What's this math, 1234? - 1230. - He's got a pin. So that's a very important thing. - Humility is not thinking less of yourself. Humility is thinking of yourself less. - Well, see, he's on the right path. - Yeah, that's a good one. - He's figuring it out. - Sunday, November 30th, 12th. - That's a screenshot of his phone. - Yeah, I think 1234, that's the time it was when he's screenshot. - 1234, well, it's significant spiritually. He's saying this is significant. - Still learning, oh, LOL, JK, I messed up an archive deleted this original post. Oh, spent past one hour sticking through post to find much to know of, oh, there's still a God. That's a fucking wild caption. There's so much in there. Oh, LOL, JK, what, all right. But also, the choice to write in all caps is so bold. - Yeah. - It's like, you're screaming me. - It feels like someone's yelling at you. That's the intent is like, guys, I am, LOL, JK, I messed up an archive deleted this original. - It's a lot. - That's the intonation, right? - Embrace lowercase letters, man. (sighs) It's a lot. But he's, look, I'm gonna say, I'm a fan. Keep doing your thing, Google Daddy. And let us know how the remote control works out in the new place. - And I hope he does, this person he's interested in reciprocates, I think that would be nice. - Speaking of, overthinks giving. We were staying at a hotel that had a pool. We were in Southern California, and we had some things to do there. So we're there with the kids, and we would go to the pool. The kids loved-- - The children's pool. - The children's pool. - The family pool. - The family pool. - Yes, there's an adult pool that you look at, and you kind of lust after. And then it just kind of fades away. And you just stay here. - Yeah. - That would be nice. - You're around the kid pool, which is fine. Everyone's there hanging out. So one day, as we're hanging out, I notice this fucking specimen of a man. A lot of times when we go on vacations, we know the fit dads. So when you're a dad, you just, you notice that there's some fit dads. - And fit moms. - And fit moms, yes. But here's the thing. This is the thing I've put together. - Sure. - I'm not interested in the fit moms. I'm only interested in fit dads. I want to look at my eyes drift toward the men, when I'm at the beach or I'm at the pool. If I see a beautiful woman, you go, yeah, it's a beautiful woman. If I see a hot guy, I go, I want to know this person. I want to get to know them. I want to be with them. I want to spend time with them. So I see this guy and I'm like, holy shit. Like this guy's physique was unbelievable. He looked like to be fair. He didn't look like a fit guy. It wasn't like a guy that works out. He looked exemplary. He looked like an Olympian, you know? He was, there's only a few things with his body size that I would even believe that he had participated in. I mean, he was either, I was like, this guy was either an off-season bodybuilder where you're like, oh yeah, I would believe that this guy's a bodybuilder. I mean, he had this type of, it wasn't dialed up all the way. That's why I said off-season, it wasn't like, I'm about to compete. But he looked to me like a fucking Olympic gymnast. You know what I mean? I think gymnast too, because he also had those hip cuts that that's like Brad Pitt level fight club fit. Am I right? That's not just I work out. That's, I work out and I fuck and I write. I don't know where you're going with this. I don't know either, but at the point being that of all the fit dads, yeah, he was kind of like that. No, he was not even anything like this at all. That looks nothing like him. But in the kitty pool dad world, he's that of-- Well, he was the elite, but he looked 10 times better than this. Whoa. You don't understand, because you don't know what you're looking at, that this is just a really lean guy. There's no mass to this guy. The guy you're looking at now, this Brad Pitt shot. He's 150 pounds here. The guy that we saw had like was lean and had like muscle to him. The dude was built. And it didn't look like, he didn't look like a gym rat. He looked like, I said like an Olympian. So this is my question to you then. And his hair wasn't-- Though don't even talk about his hair. His hair looked amazing. And he had a full head, and it was like light chestnut brown, nice, sparkling eyes, great disposition. Yeah, he was having a good time. Great personality, not a booze bag. I didn't seem overindulging. Nope, he was there with his three kids and his wife. She was in great shape. So I noticed the wife separately, because I also look at other women's bodies, too, to compare myself to them. And she looks great for three kids, holy shit. Yeah, they were both very fit. So I want to know him so bad. So I was like, I was eyeballing him. I was trying to get some, I ordered a couple of drinks to build up confidence. I wanted to go meet him, and just get to know him, get to know his life, see if there's a chance with us. So I was like eyeballing him. And then one time, he was in the hot tub. And the bathroom is near the hot tub. And I got up, and I was like, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And as I walked up, he looked up, and he winked and smiled at me. And I felt my heart flutter. I was like, holy shit. You got a chance. Yeah, he saw me. He likes me. And he knows you're famous, and he already likes you. So you've already got the leg, of course. But then here's the thing. I wasn't going to come up to him when he was with his family. I was looking for an opening. Yeah, it's weird. And so this is just kind of a misconnection moment. I'd like to put out there that, like, I know you saw me, and I saw you. And I feel like there's so many questions that we both want to answer. Listen up. It's that time of year when you have to find the perfect gift for everyone and your mom. You need something that says, I actually thought about you, even if it wasn't until the last second. That's where aura frames comes in. Oh my god, it's the best gift because it looks like you're the most thoughtful, caring person on the planet. You preload it with pictures before it ships. So your job is done before they even open it, and it's good for everybody. It's good for, like, aunties, uncles, grandmas, people you don't see very often cousins. Mm-hmm. That's why I said mine too. You can keep adding pictures and videos of whatever you want all year long, all from your phone. No memory cards or tech support calls needed, just Wi-Fi and the app. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting aura frames.com to get $35 off or as best-selling Carver Matt Frames, named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code YMH at checkout. That's a-u-r-a-frames.com promo code YMH. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout, terms, and conditions apply. 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Gambling problem called 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8 hope and wire. Text hope and y-467-369. Unbehaff a boot hill casino when resorting Kansas, pass through a per-wager tax may apply in Illinois. 21 and over age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction, void an Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. NBA league pass auto-renews until canceled. Additional terms at dkng.co/audio. If you saw me, you know who you are, I'd like to know who you are. I have so many questions. So many questions. Yeah, I want to know what he does. I want to know what he does because here's the deal, man. If he is like a business man, that means he's got to wake up at like 4 a.m. He's hitting the gym every day. He is, dude. He is. And he's on like a schedule. He's very disciplined. Very disciplined. Yeah. Which is an admirable trait because so are you. You're down to what, 4% body fat now? No, that's the goal. Oh. That's the goal. Speaking of, we're going to talk to you about body fat in a second, Mr. Annie. But yeah, the goal is to be like, yeah, I mean, I want to be like, people where people you guys. is he about to die like that kind of level, you know? - Where are you now? - I mean, I haven't had a scan in a while, but I'm in the upper teens for sure. - Oh wow. - Yeah, I got a long way to go. - I got a long way to go. - A lot of changes. - Of course, let's remember when I was like, hey, should I even walk near him? Like, I don't know if he'll be like upset. - You know, and that really upset me, Tom, because you bring a lot to the table as well. Don't think that he's better than you. He can't put that dead on a pedestal. - You're just as good as him. - I thought I was gonna walk by and he was just gonna go disgusting and then turn his head, you know? - Disgusting. - He smiled and he winked. - He did. - Yeah. - But I think, do you think he was winking, 'cause like, he was like, hey, I know you, or do you think he was winking, like, hey, what's up? Hello? - I think it was both. - Both. - I think it could have been, hey, what's up? 'Cause also where he winked at you, if he recalled, is right by the bar, and then there's the jacuzzi, and then that one bathroom. And we saw a lot of inappropriate making out sessions in that area of the kitty pool of the children's area. So maybe he was suggesting, hey, this is the corner. - Oh, where things happen. - Where stuff happens. - Why don't you get a drink and meet me in the bathroom? - That's right. - And any asked the question earlier, which was really smart of like, is he joyful? - Yeah, was he having a good time? - 'Cause what does that mean, any? If a man is joyful? - Well, I asked if he was having too much fun, you know? 'Cause like, you know, we like to have fun, but if you're having too much fun, you're just smiley, you're laughing all the time. Well, what you smile is so much for, man. I was questioning it, and then you said that he winked at you, and like, that says it. - Yeah, he's gay. - Fuck, he's for sure. - Fuck, dude. - Either he's an Olympian, or a body builder, like you're saying. Or he likes dick. - What's the only thing? - There's no other way. - But he has three kids to gay guys. - So I don't care. Hold on, allegedly, three kids? - Three kids, yeah. - I know. - I don't think he's gay. I mean, I don't think he's gay. - You just think he likes what he saw. You guys have a mutual admiration of one another's physique, discipline. - I don't think he has an admiration for mine, but I think we both would, I think we'd like to get this conversation, like I'd like to meet this person. I wanna know his story. - Do you understand? - I wanna know. - I wanna know his background. I wanna know what he does. - I know what you're talking about. I get obsessed with strangers too. - Yeah. - We're like, what is the deal? What is the story? - Dude, he's so handsome. - I know. - And his, like I said, his physique was unbelievable. And he's got a nice family. It's like, I wanna know more. - And also, like, the wife didn't resent him or hate him, which you see a lot at the kid's pool, because the woman's usually doing everything and the husband's not doing shit. - No, they were participating together. - Good rapport, he was engaged. - Yeah. - And the family and he was laughing, having fun, but not too much fun. So I saw him near, near, like-- - I noticed him first. Okay, keep going. (laughing) - I also ran into him at, like, the kids area, like where the kids play. And he was just, like, smiling, having a good time. - Too much fun though? - You think that's too much. If he's having a good time. - No, no, no, no, no, I'd have to be there. - Yeah. - There's a certain ratio of, you know, smiling. - And this move a lot too. - Anyway. - Because he had, like, he had, right here, he was doing this. - So much hair. - You know, like, like, dreamy hair. Like, shampoo commercial hair. - I don't know, it could be, it could just also be, it could be like the situation, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah. - It could be that sort of thing. I'd have to see him. I don't know. - God, he was a dreamboat. - Should we give his identifying feature? Like, this is the only way we're gonna-- - It's the only way you're really gonna get-- - It's the only way we're gonna get-- - But if this is real now, you're gonna make this happen. If you give away this identifying characteristic, this will manifest. - I don't know, my heart's racing. I don't know if I can do this. - Just do it. - All right, so he, we already described it in dark hair. - How tall? - He wasn't that tall. - He's perfect. What do you mean not that tall? - He wasn't very tall. - What's not very tall in man world? - I mean, he's under six feet tall. - Okay. - I don't remember, I didn't ever stand next to him, but I saw him. - But he didn't feel short. - He felt perfect. - He felt perfect. - But he was probably like, I'm guessing around five-nine or something. That's my guess. - Perfect. - Yeah. Like I said, fucking Super Jacked. But like in an athletic way. It didn't look like a juice head type of Jack. - No. - I mean, he looked like athletic Jack. - He built that over years. - Like he swam in college. - Yeah. - I think he was a swimmer. - Here's the thing. It was an upper back circular tattoo in the upper back. And that was his only tattoo. - In between his shoulder blades circular. I would say like a maybe a snake coiled or like a dragon, like a chakra thing. - Could be like a yin yang. I didn't see it up close. Sir, we've identified you. We know who you are. We have questions. Wanna know who you are, what you do, what your background at division one sport did you play? Are you currently involved in athletics? (laughing) - And also, I think Tom, if I may be so bold, are you open to making a new friend? - Yeah, you wanna be friends? - I think you wanna be. - I mean, clearly we vacation well together. (laughing) - Okay. - Yeah. - Well there you go. - There's some. - I'd like to meet my new friend. - There's a lady at my gym. - Yeah. - Who I admire too. - Yeah. - But you're like, oh, she's such a dream. And she's so aloof. And I just want her approval. - Yeah. - Like I just want her to be like, "Hey, Christina, how you doing?" And like, she's just, she's so above. She just won't. - I think, I wonder if I know this person. 'Cause I've been there too. Is she elite? - Yeah. - Like super elite? - I mean, in my world, like in a 50 year old lady care category. - No, no, I just mean objectively elite. - I don't think so, I don't think so. But I think she looks amazing and like her personality, like she's just so cool and like whatever, like kind of East Coasty and just like funny and unbothered. And then like, I just want that, I just want some of that. I want her to shine her light on me. - I get it. - And like, be like, I don't care about any of these people. But you, Christina, like, I wanna give my friendship my heart to you, 'cause you're worth it. And then I'll be like, oh, thanks, dude. - Fuck yeah, dude. (laughing) Bro, thank you. - Thank you, bro. - Thanks, dog. (laughing) - And by the way, why are people making out at the kids' pool? - That was. - That was fucking so inappropriate. - Yeah, I know. - Dude, there's two other pools you could have fucked in. Like, you had to put, you had to make out in the children's pool. - I saw this one couple do it at the bar. - Yeah. - And this wasn't like a fucking Margaritaville place. You know? And like, they were fully fucking groping each other. - Fully, I knew it. - Get your shit together. - There's kids everywhere. - They were hammered, they had to be. That's why you do that. - But there's two, like I said, great pools to go make out of. - I know. I'm like, hey, excuse me, can you go like, ejaculate in the other pool? - Should you go do that somewhere else? - In the ejaculation jacuzzi. And there's always a guy we noticed at the end of the night, or the end of this pool cycle day. There's always an alone guy in the jacuzzi. When the whole pool's gone, everyone's gone. There's one guy. - The moon's out. And there's just one guy and you're like, holy shit, is there a guy in there? - One guy, Harry alone in the jacuzzi all the time. - Yeah, it's either that or it's before the sun goes down. There'll be a guy in there who's talking to someone like about business. - Yeah. - It's like, you know. - Well, I just tried to, you know, I saw this company and I said, I could do something with that. And you're like, okay. This guy's giving like, he's posting about his business activity. - Yeah. - That's always what I can do. I saw it every day. - Yeah. - I'll tell you what, I'm a big fan of right now is I like these guys who are doing stay safe out there. (all laughing) - This is like my favorite lane that I've fell into and I cannot get enough of it. - Let's do it. - Hey, everybody, it's full. It's gonna be getting darker earlier. And I think everybody should have access to a good flash light at all times. - Okay. - Please don't rely on your phone. - At all times. - If you have to get your phone flashlight on, you're gonna look down, hit the code, and then turn the flash light on. - Yeah. - It's not a great flash light. - That's not great. - You're distracted while turning it on. - There could be a perfect flash light. - I keep it readily available. Okay, I like the shore fire. - I'm gonna throw up, it's so stupid. - I have a tail cap activation. - Call the phone. - I'm need to open up a door, open up a door, move my child, carry groceries, I still have one hand free. - Free to do other things, right? - Okay, to access burglars, positions that I need. (all laughing) Like in my bio, I have a whole section on flashlights in the Papyrus University. I will, you say. - Okay. - I told my crew I went strong to start doing these videos. (all laughing) 'Cause he's always buying like safety shit. - Oh my God, it hurts my stomach. - He's expecting a woman to carry around. - At all times. - At all times. - And then this man. - Where do I keep this? - This hand can do other things, you know? - I keep this in my purse. - Always. You cannot rely on a phone. If you have a phone, you have to look down. You have to turn the phone on. And that's an insane fucking waste of time. So make sure you get a police level flashlight. (all laughing) Keep it on your waistband. Power can go out at any fucking second. - The worst part is, is this inner voice is why I go to therapy. - Yeah. I'm proud of you. - No Zach, because of fucking thoughts like this. - What happens if there's no light? (laughing) - This guy's right. - This is feeding into everything that's wrong. - I just got out of the mansion before. This is my neighborhood, so I pretty much have a good baseline what everything looks like, but always remember, any scenario you are in could shift. People are the most unpredictable variable in any scenario. - Hell yeah. - I see local people doing what they're normally doing. - Okay, any second, any second, a clown car could roll up. And he's like a clown's looking to get out to do clown stuff. And I gotta be ready for that. - Yep, you do. - You gotta be ready for anything anytime. - 100% bro. - Something else everybody should know. - When you put the pump in your gas station, you can drive away. It's not gonna explode. Okay, there's a design to automatically shut off. (laughing) You'll see people who's comes first. So if I'm pumping gas and I see the environment shift and somebody might be coming towards me, I gotta get out of here. - Holy shit. - I'm not gonna wait to see. - No. - Okay, always having a plan. - Where does he live? - Well, be safe everybody. - Is he living in Bosnia? Why is he so fired up? - I know this neighborhood, but at any second, a clown could fucking enter it. - What neighborhood is he in? - Sheesh. - He needs to move. - Yeah man. - He doesn't feel, he feels this threatened in his own neighborhood. - Sometimes you'll be putting gas in your car and you'll feel the threat. Just take off and rip the fucking pump down. It doesn't matter. (laughing) You just gotta be on top of safety at all times. - Pay the pump. Can you imagine how much it would cost to replace the pump at a gas station? It's $50,000, 'cause you're panicking. - You're like, "I got scared. I don't know what you want me to tell you." - Wait, what are you saying about Sean now? Tell me. - Sean. - Sean, who I love dearly and travels with me everywhere. He's got a little bit of stay prepared. (laughing) - So this guy's business or whatever is called Prepared Not Paranoid. (laughing) So that's what I tell, Sean believes in that. You know, he's always like, well what if this happens, what if that happens, you know? So he's got trauma shears on his waist. He's got a crazy flashlight. He's got all kinds of, yeah. - You can't just, let's go through what he's got. So number one is trauma shears. - Shears. - These are the shears that a paramedic or somebody in the fire department would have with them so that if they needed to cut you out of a seat belt or your ring was wedged onto something and you're about to lose your finger. Yeah, so he's got a pretty high level type of trauma shear on him. - And he gets this through security if you guys are flying commercially. - Oh fuck yeah. He explains what the fuck man, what if this whole thing, what if he needs somebody to get cut out of strap and they're like, okay buddy, okay. So the trauma shears are on his waist belt. - Okay, flashlight too. - He's got the one that that guy advises. - Yeah, he's got one of these. And it does like different patterns, like flash. - SOS, SOS. - He does more code with it. He's got a leather man, he's got knives. He always has like different types of knives on him. Yeah, so I'm trying to get him to just like keep upgrading, you know? - Keep escalating. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be like 100% prepared for any situation ever. - Well, he showed me, he showed me the ring that you guys bought together. - Oh yeah, he's got, yeah, he's got all kinds of, he's got knuckle dusters, he's got, yeah. - He goes, you see this, Christina? And I go, what is this? And he goes, it's called knuckle duster. - Yeah. - And I go, what is this? He goes, you know, when the guy's gangs, they couldn't carry weapons. - It's when they banned brass knuckles. That's when they banned those. - And I could buy this ring. And then I could, I could, you know, you could punch somebody and do some damage. - And I looked at him like, - Real damage. - Like this and he goes, what? I thought you'd like it, it's all punk rock. And I'm like, it is, it's very punk rock. - It's very much like it. But you think you need the knuckle dusters on the Southwest Airlines flight right now? - Dude, you need shit at all times. You know what his favorite expression is? You stay ready, you don't have to get ready. - That's no shit though. - And that's what this guy believes in. - That's what he's doing, he's right. Always ready. - As I go from the parking lot into the store, I'm transitioning into a new space. - Holy shit. - So when the parking lot is already clear, that it's safe, as I go into a new space, I have to do the same thing. I'm gonna go in there, take a few seconds to observe the environment. See if you have something in the space. - In this whole food you're gonna go into. - Yeah. - So, all right, so you-- - What's in there man? - You prep us. - So as I go into the store, I take a second. - Yeah, look, I know this is a fire alarm over there. - Yep. - I look as if there's anything out of place and I should be paying attention to it, okay? - Yeah. - People over here have a pie. - Everything seems normal. - Okay. - Take a few more seconds and I go about my day into the store. - Yep. - And go shopping. - You know, you just describe absolutely nothing. Literally, he was like, I went into the store, I looked and it looked like people were in the store and then I felt like everybody already does that. You have to give us something more to do in the store, right? - Well, exactly, Tom. Like I was hoping for something. - Where are the exits? - That's right. - Where is the nearest bathroom? Maybe I'll have diarrhea. - Is there a security officer in the-- - A security? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a coin star? - And I would like to get some more racial profiling in here. - Oh, he said it before you didn't hear it? - No. - He used the word clowns. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, it's cold. - You know what he meant? - I know what he meant. He didn't mean-- - Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup. He's like, yeah, you know, clowns. - Doing clown things. - You know, clowning around black, I mean, clowning, being clowns with their music, their clown music. (laughing) Talking all that clown talk where you're like, what the fuck did you just say? (laughing) Yeah, well, I gotta say, I'm a huge fan of this page. I hope everybody continues to be prepared and not paranoid. - Hyperventual. - And I'm really hoping that Sean builds a page like this soon. - I've been literally working in therapy for 20 years, trying to stop this exact shit in my head. Scan the room, left to right. Couple clowns over here, that's not good. - Clowns. Clowns. (laughing) - That is amazing. - Well, and also, he's not going to a grocery store in a bad neighborhood. This appears to me to just be like a normal suburban-- - It's just like a randles. - Yeah, totally normal grocery store. - No need. - Publics or something, yeah. He's like, all right, I can shop now. I walked in, I assessed the-- - What? (laughing) - There he is. - There he is. Oh, he's in Sedona, which is like the crackeriest, safest, there's 10 people living there, place. Oh, Duncan follows him. - Oh, he does. (snoring) - There you go. Found her, prepared not paranoid. (laughing) - Important. Well, what's important? Let's click on important. - Okay. - Important. - Like my book. - Okay. - That's good. - Now, by the way, he told us where he lived. - Situational awareness. - This terminology used called keep your head on a swivel. What does that even mean? What are we looking for? If we explore situational awareness, we'll come up on Cooper's color code. Yoda loop. - This is what I'm talking about. - What I've done is I've taken all that information and put it together in my new book. - Oh, yes. - Situational awareness, safe family travel strategies. - Jesus. - Put it together in a format that's easy to understand. - Man, again. - Also, it's easy for you to teach them of your family. So you might look at this and say, I got it, I'm always aware. Yes, you might be. - Okay. - What is your child more aware? How do we implement these strategies to keep our entire family and our community safer? So I put this book together. - I mean, he's literally in one of the safest places you could be. - No, it's all retirees. - Yeah. And it's like, hey, do you want to see the fucking stars tonight, right? - Yeah. - This guy's walking into those crystal shouts. - It's true. - Who's this guy? What's this clown doing? Yeah. - It's literally white girls with dreadlocks. - Yeah. - And like, patchouly. There's nothing happening in Sedona. - I mean, that's what he's doing. It seems like he wants something happening. - It's still huge stuff. - Yeah. - He definitely moved there from somewhere. - Somewhere awful. - Oh, East Coast. You could hear it in his voice. He moved from the Northeast. - My wife and I relocated to Sedona. Talking, and you look in the room. You see a couple clowns. You say, hey, fucko. Yeah. - You could drive away from a gas station. - What is the bio site? What does it have on the site? I want to know, like, what is there? - He's a cop. - Got it, situational awareness. - Do you think he's ex-cop? - Could be. - Or military. - Self-defense off. Hell, yeah. Less than lethal. Fuck, yeah. Flashlight. - Yeah, I got it. - Big on the, the anatomy of a flashlight. That's insane. Yeah. That's what it, that's the-- - That's not special right there. - Pocket clip, lanyard loop. - Tail cap. Yeah. I like knowing the exact wording on that. - Tail switch. - You get the tail cap on that? It's like, what are you talking about? - The tail cap, time. - The spill, the hot spot. The way that the light is dispersed. - Lux. - Got it. - Watch. - Pepper spready. We definitely need some of that. - You need that, man. - He's got to be fully fucking-- (laughing) Like, I bet if you lifted up his t-shirt, you would see like 40 things hanging from there. - Have you ever actually sprayed pepper spray in the room? - No. - It is so volatile. - No. - If you-- - Stunk 'em. - If you spray pepper spray, guess who else it fucks up. - The person sprays-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because it's so volatile. - And yours, it's insane. - You can't, like it's-- - Yeah. - You're just gonna guess the whole situation. - This is my favorite channel of the year, by the way. - No, this is stun gun. Well, what are my options? Hold on, you're passing by stun gun options. Saber self defense kit with pepper spray and stun gun. - That's what I'm getting shown for Christmas. - Oh my God. Will you please flag some good ones for me? (laughing) I want to get 'em something state of the art. - We need a stun gun. You gotta walk around with me. - Oh my God. - Is this legal in Texas to stun something? - To sell you it on Amazon. - I don't know. - Like yeah, oh my God. - It's such a bad idea. - It's great. - Is there another one that's like a holy shit level here? Look, what a, what a, that's. - You know what, I just had a vision of me taking my stun gun out and then just starting me down. (laughing) - Just be like, hold on a second. I gotta, it's not on yet. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, tear gas from out. - I gotta get my tear gas gun. - Please get it. Can we make a video of him trying out all your new toys that you've got on him? - I want him to be fully fucking strapped. (laughing) With like a pellet gun and a stun gun. - Yeah. - And knives. - You need it all. - Everyone's like, what the fuck? He's just ready, dude. He's prepared. He should put him through the course that cops gotta take where they get like desensitized to tear gas. He would fucking love it. - To go to that. - I wouldn't even be surprised if he already did it. - You might be right. So tear gas, that doesn't do anything to me. - Kinetic balls, solid, non-lethal projectiles. I could get them something like that. - Kinetic balls, tear gas. I didn't even know you could buy tear gas. - Oh my god, I would love to have him fully strapped. (laughing) - You have to buy him a belt too, no? - Yeah. - To put all this shit too? - Well, I mean, he's got a belt, but maybe like a specialty belt. - Or something across his chest? - That'd be cool. - Like, man, no. - Holy shit. - He would embrace all this stuff. (laughing) - Yeah. - Fucking awesome. (laughing) - Okay. - I do feel like you could have used all this in Albuquerque when you were filming there this past summer. - Yeah, ABQ has some clowns. (laughing) - You definitely need that. - That's it. - Oh, there it is. - Definitely getting him that. Please flag that for me. - It's called a tactical belt. - Yeah. - That's what you need. - Dude, that's fucking badass. - Boo, boo, boo. - Is that a body cam? - Oh shit. (laughing) - What's that in the front there? - That looks like it's got a screen or something, right? Dude, that is-- - I think it's Velcro. - Dude, that is 100% Sean's belt. (air whooshing) - I'm so stoked for that. (laughing) - Duty belts law enforcement combat air-soft police belt with pouches, seven pieces. (laughing) - Ooh. - You know what I'll probably like is the tactical vest. - Yeah, he would love the vest, especially if you can like, wait it. Give me the belt and the vest please. - Maybe night vision goggles. Does he have night vision? (laughing) He's not safe at night. - That's so true. - Oh, tactical vest. Dude, he would love that. - That's fucking rad. - Yeah, things are heavy. - Dude, yeah, we gotta suit him up. He's gotta get ready. - P.O. is the funny thing is gonna be when you ask him and he's gonna be like, yeah, I got like three of those. - Yeah, I already have that. - Yeah. - Why'd you get me, should I already have? - Panoramic night vision goggles. - Holy shit. - Oh my god, it's $50,000. - $50,000? (laughing) - Fuck. - What? - Well worth it though. - Well worth it, great investment. - I bet Larry would approve. He'd be like, 100% you need that. (laughing) You go outside. Scan the neighborhood. - In Sedona. - Anybody out here? - How the fuck, man? - Yeah. - How is it like that? - I don't know, dude. What is 50 grand? - This is what like why military contract are worth like $40 billion? - It's over price. - They're like, yes, 50 grand a pop. - There's nothing, there's nothing that's worth $50,000. Those are binoculars for your head. Please explain. - Only one left. - Helmet mount. (laughing) - Can we go back to like the search for those to see if there's like what are the other one? Like they have to have more reasonable prices, man. - What's neat is that you look cool. - Those are $900. - Yeah, that's, it's still a shitload of, oh, it's single, single ops, 300 bones. Just for one, but he needs both. - No, no, I definitely would get him the two. Fuck you. - Eyes on. (laughing) - What are you doing? I'm scoping in the neighborhood right now. I'm moving left to right, see what's out here. - It looks like a fucking owl. - Well, I'm excited. Please lift flag some of these for me. I need to, I need to get him. - Christmas. - Yeah. So the, what's it called, the junior fed smoker guy? - I think he's still doing stuff, right? - Oh, thank God. - What's up? - Where are you filming us? - I'm filming him. - What? - Stop filming my boyfriend. - What are you filming for, dude? (laughing) - Are you famous? Are you famous? - He's not famous. - No, you are famous. You are famous. Have a good day, famous guy. - He's got, he's just has the heart and soul of her, it's so clear. - It's, it's really cool. It really makes you realize we're all connected. - And I do love that there's two people just having a good time by themselves. - She's like, stop filming my boyfriend. - Yeah. - And he's being disruptive to that. I was really cool. - We're over here at the Sigma Chi plant. - Up. - Yep. - Over here. - Back to Sigma Chi. - Forrest Park. I think mountains and Portland, Oregon. - Oregon. - And I thought I'd bring awareness to the community about the beauty person who does dirty work for Sigma Chi fraternity. - Dirty work. Oh, dear. - He's all gay now. - What the fuck, dude? - Yeah. - You know what's really crazy is like, Herk also had this fearlessness about him. - Yeah. - Fearless. - Fearless. - He didn't fall proto, buddy, you're done. - Yeah. - He's your meant that he's taunting. - Oh, I know. - Strong. - That guy, by the way, the guy that he said you famous, that looked like a pretty solid dude. That was not a little guy. - No, you know. - He is barking up some scary trees. - Yeah, that can fuckin' crazy. - That dude, I bet could really wreck this guy, but. - Uh-oh, the cop. - What is your name, a cell number? - What is your name and serial number? - Well, so. - Service. - Sheriff. - Sheriff. - I know Sheriff, honest or wise or fused, and I need himself to be sure from Mr. O'Neil. - Yeah, so why can't you sight and release people instead of have to take them to Oregon Road? - That's funny, he's in Florida now. He was just an Oregon. - Oh shit. - And that's Hillsborough County. Yeah, that's like a Tampa area, I think. - That's, you know what? That makes sense though. That's the beacon for mental illness. - Just the state of Florida. - For all of Florida, but Tampa or Lando, Miami. - Yeah, so why can't you sight and release people for misdemeanors instead of have to take them to Oregon Road Jail? - Yeah, when you arrest somebody for a misdemeanor, you should just sight and release them. Why do you have to take them to waste gas and this gas goes into the unit to take them to the Oregon Road Jail? It's not like L.A., where if you do a misdemeanor, they sight and release you are taking to the station and process you. - So what's really fascinated by now is the fact that he's this transient, that like, you know, sometimes there's just fixed location guys. He is literally, like we've seen multiple stuff from him up in Washington, then he was in Oregon. I don't remember where else we see him, but he's definitely, he's been in L.A., that's why he references L.A., but this is definitely, I mean, he's in the Tampa area of Hillsborough County. - What time of year is this filmed? Is it coinciding with holidays? Is he visiting his family in Florida? Is he in school during the other times? - We're all just fucking, it's crazy. - Would always baffles me? Is these people have money to travel? Like how the fuck do you have money to travel? - I know, how do they do it? How about this? What do you see here that reminds you of Herc? - Hi, what are you gonna do, fucking security guard bitch? Hold the ass motherfucker, you're fucking security guard. - Are you a certified peace officer in the state of California bitch? - You're just gonna do shit like that? You have no authority, you have no authority. - So you're just gonna be ignorant like that? - Jay Wocken is not a legal in California, it's not a local ass bitch, there's a rule. - Jay Wocken is a legal in California. - I'm gonna see it legislatively. The California state legislatively, he's fucking old bitch, he's sick, so old. - Oh wow, he said L.A., is that L.A.X? Yeah, that's L.A.X, is that the airport? And then he's harassing a security guard. We've seen that before. - Oh my God. Put your name, tell us your name, tell us your name. - We're talking to the supervisor. - Go ahead. - Supervisor, supervisor, wow, why is your name? - How you done? - Give me orders, you're a security guard. - Why are you done? - You have no fucking afford. - Are you done? - Yeah. - How you done? - Are you done? - Touch my phone, touch my phone. - Hey, I'm hot. - How you got off, touch your phone? - Touch my phone. - You have a security guard, you have no authority. - Are you leaving or not? - You have no authority. - Pretty much right. Touch my camera through the picture, the faggot. The similarities are striking. Yeah, we got to do DNA test on this kid. I mean how do you get herx DNA? Because you job imagine. This is this is This is unbelievable. This is the same person. It's the same behavior. It's the exact same behavior. What are the chances? There's a guy who's just doing his job as security guard and then he's like the fuck are you? What the fuck are you doing here? Fuck head your fire buddy at the arrow fire, but and also wise nobody arresting him at this point Like if you mess with TSA or whatever, like can't they arrest you? I think California is probably the most like least likely to Spend the resources and arresting someone right now. Yeah. Yeah. Now Them Hillsboro County sheriffs have time. I'll tell you that That's what they have time. Of course they always are like, huh? What? Yeah, I was just fucking locked up I mean the more like the bluer places are gonna be like, well, you know, we need help Yeah, maybe they take them to a hospital, but down south Because we didn't see her come in through Texas a lot. He didn't see her doing this shit No, and the red states. Yeah, interesting. Yeah white chariot's man, you know chariots before I forget I wanted to give a big shout out to the MGM The hookup the way they treated us I had a show in Vegas a couple weeks ago and It was at the park MGM. It was really fun Thank you for for all that, but also they set us up at F1 which was really really fun and I have to give a huge huge Thanks to the great legendary chef Jose and dress for absolutely spoiling the shit out of me and my crew I think there is no greater joy than getting to spend Time with chefs the chefs that I've been fortunate enough to meet all over the world are always like the greatest They're just the best man. They're amazing Talents they're amazing people this guy is not just an amazing chef. He's an amazing humanitarian and human being if you don't know his work With World Central Kitchen. It's a it's an incredible organization that just feeds people all over the world regardless of their Political situations or affiliations. They just go to wherever there's disasters that could be hurricanes earthquakes tornadoes War zones floods wherever there's a disaster and people need to get fed World Central Kitchen goes and they set up and they feed people and it's led by this man Jose and dress. There's a world famous very accomplished chef He is you know one of the elite chefs, right the guy who just like has these Incredibly innovative ideas and they if you've ever been to like the bizarre or bizarre meats And he's got what is this this place? Something poblano in in Vegas and he's got Haleo and he's got a he's got it. He's got it a dozen or more restaurants And they're all over the world So I mean yeah, we could we could see what they are here. This is the I guess us locations. I mean look there's yeah China poblano bar Centro bizarre mar bizarre meat Haleo something tells me this guy is Latin. He's from Spain. Mm-hmm. So he's a Spanish man anyway, he treated us like we were visiting heads of state and gave us an absolute I mean like a feast that I can't describe and I'm there with John Feliciano, there's Kirk. There's Kirk and we're just hanging out and he was just Absolutely spoiling the shit out of us and it was just it was such an amazing experience I just had to acknowledge that this dude is just he's exactly What you want out of a chef like he's passionate. He's excited and he's super talented So it's all these things that you're like, you know like what what is this and he's just Rattling off how he had an idea and came up with this and then every bite. You're like this unfucking believable. That's cool So it was very cool. Yeah, yeah, it's an incredible organization. I think that's really nice that he does it world central kitchen if you want to See what they do, you know, you can google it, but they they really do amazing work. I mean it's so cool Donated over the last few years a number of times because they do such great work Okay, yeah, okay, well, I wanted to address our OB our cat obesity problem in the Segura homestead um And frankly, I'm a little fucking disappointed in the millennials in the Gen Z's the gen alphas we have working here So I talk we talk I we have automatic cat feeders, okay We have an adult cat a kitten the adult cat is eating the kittens portions and the adult cat is fat That's the problem. Munchkins overweight by two pounds. Okay. Yeah, so here I am on the show and I'm We're talking about it. Oh, the cat feeders. You have to pull them apart. We have to feed them separately blah blah blah We're all talking about these scenarios meanwhile Conor Swindles friend of the show he star of the movie jingle bell heist on Netflix right now He listens to the show and he thanks me for the shout out and he goes oh, I might you know you can also do oh top night You can buy feeders that are calibrated to a specific cat Meaning one of them wears one collar activates This feeder the other collar activates the other one and they can't cross the streams. You see what I'm saying? Does he have he has a cat he's got multiple cats and so he goes mate. It's real fucking simple You just get the and have you then have you ordered this already? Of course a hundred dollars fucking later Yeah, and now we don't have a cat obesity problem and why the fuck didn't these millennials these are cat owners here They are and it took somebody across the pond Listening to the show to tell me wait. How does it stop them from eating the other one's food? So they wear collars that have like sensors. Okay, so if the correct cat goes up to the correct feeder sensor it dispenses food the minute it says it does the wrong cat it stops working It doesn't usually dispense multiples at it like a feeding amount at a time. I don't know the point of the story is it shuts it down It covers it or something no the point of the story is they haven't done it yet they fail me I have to I didn't want to set up on for our trip because what if it malfunction and there's no one there to feed the cat The point of fucking story is Josh you have fucking cats multiples am I right? Yeah, and you didn't know this should have known this I didn't know it I gotta try it. I mean let us know if it works. Of course, of course it works Connor does it. That's how he keeps his animals from being obese. The thing is we need we need Josh and some of the other people here to have flagged themselves. I think a little more. Thank you Tom That's exactly what I want some repentance. I'm you know. I'm a failure. I'm stupid. I don't know things things like that That's right. I'm young. I should know everything. I should know things more. Yeah, I know that. I'm a fucking moron Exactly. They're supposed to be up on all the technology. Yeah, the AIs the things. I let you down I let myself down things like that. I like this. Yeah Speaking of Let's talk to this clown any real quick So a few weeks ago Um, I was explaining how the only thing that I'm really concerned with and I really feel like I'm trying to encourage people in this regard do whatever you want obviously is When it comes to like your weight and your body isn't the number on the scale. It's your body composition That's what matters true. There's some people that are I'm talking about men that are like 225 and they're fucking They look perfect, right? But that's that guy Somebody else it might be 170 like the the scale doesn't matter. It's your it's your composition Like your your lean mass versus your body fat, right? Like what's that now? And it's look There's a whole huge range in which is healthy and there's a range within if you want to be like I don't know Elite or whatever But it's knowing that that I think is important. So I was encouraging I was saying that I had done this and that that's what I'm really trying to focus on is just the composition not the scale number And in doing so I was like, you know, I've gotten more dialed in on like what Certain body fat percentages mean for like the male physique, right? So you start to learn like this is obese. This is like You know moderately healthier. This is like you know some extra weight. This is starting to get into like Pretty lean and this is like super lean like you're learning what those are so in doing that I was like oh, I wonder because we've obviously we've worked with any for a long time. He's a super lean guy You know, he's like he's a guy that is like yeah, he doesn't carry a lot like a squirrel or a greyhound and he's and he's He's been always been very lean never really been like a Hardcore gym guy, but he's a very he's a strong guy and He can eat he's one of those body types. I feel like you could eat whatever and doesn't have to think about it So I was like wait, I encourage him. I was like I'm just so curious what's Your you know like composition like and he went to Get a scan a dexascan to get like the the numbers and what are the results of that any? According to the dexascan your boy fat is fuck Apparently I am 22% body fat's wild to me - Which is why today's cap report is body fat. - It's body fat, body fat percentage. It doesn't fucking exist. Like a run faster, jump higher, punch harder. This had you, 'cause you sent it to me. You had 21.6, which-- - Is that unhealthy in the range for men? - No, it's not unhealthy. It's, it was a bit surprising just like looking at any, but then again, like somebody who's like pretty lean like him, you can be like very dialed in on that, you know? And there's also, there's a spectrum to how lean a lean person is. - Oh wow. - So 20, 20's that far right one. That's what it's saying that any's category is. Which I think, definitely not what I look like. It's not, do you think, what do you think you look like? 'Cause I don't think you showed me like your belly today. And it didn't look, like you don't look like, obviously like 30 down there. But I don't think at your current state, you look like 15. I think you've been at what that 15 looks like, but I don't think you're currently there right now. Am I wrong? - I think I don't only because of the like extra muscle, I'm not built, but in terms of like the abs, like my abs look like that. They don't look like-- - They look like 15? - Yeah, really. - 20, I mean that's definitely again. It's more like, you know, what's the word? I don't know, more fucking prevalent, I don't know how to say it, but-- - But don't you feel like, like this, my, from what I saw, like you were sitting in a chair and you just lifted up your shirt. I didn't see definition. I just saw it like kind of what, like undefined, but not like, again, not heavy. It to me looked like, oh, if he spent, you know, six weeks, like caring about it, your body would change dramatically. That you were just kind of like going through the, like, you know, like you're not particularly working on this right now, and that you are, yeah, you never are, right? Like you was kind of like, yeah. - I haven't been to the gym. I mean, I went, I went to the gym every day for that basketball thing. And before that, I want to say the last time I went to the gym, I was like, I don't know, 10 years ago, like I go to the gym every day. - And then food wise, you never really care, right? - You got them a garbage, yeah. - So, do you think that the thing is wrong or do you just think that like, who cares? - I think that it's kept. I think it's all a mindset. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - I'm talking about the data. Like, do you think it is, is it-- - It's an accurate data, baby. - Or do you think that it's like, yeah, I mean, do you think it's not accurate, what it's said? - I mean, I don't know, I guess I don't, I don't have anything to like compare it to. I just trust it, I guess, I mean, I don't really, it doesn't like-- - I think it would be an interesting experiment for you because the great thing is when you have like a baseline, is if like, if you have that report that you had now have, that you shared with me, and you take like a completely, like you, for yourself, take a photo when you get home in the bathroom where like, in like your boxers, where you just see yourself, un-flexing just like, chilling, this is getting weird, it's not weird, it's for you, I'm not saying to share them, I'm saying it's for you. So you take photo of yourself where you see your physique, you see exactly where you are, and then you have your data from last week. And then if you were to go like, okay, there's, you know, essentially four weeks left in the year, so you give yourself like eight, 12 weeks, and in those eight to 12 weeks, you just, you don't have to go extreme, but I'm saying you dial in a few things, meaning you try to just adapt to a little healthier diet, and just like a few days a week of training, I bet you within, if you gave yourself 12 weeks, and you had a dexascantia, and you tried to address some of those things, you would go, oh yeah, I see how dramatic this can be, with just a little bit, 'cause you have the body type where I think a little bit of dialing that in, could he get like extreme results? - No, you're 100%. I mean, yeah, it's really, it's always just been a matter of time. I would definitely need to get a personal trainer because I just don't, and a dietitian probably, 'cause the thing about getting healthy that's always taught me is I don't know what the fuck to do. - Yeah, that's most of the, I don't know how to eat, right? I don't know the right calories and protein, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - That's most people, 'cause we don't get taught that, which is like the two things that always feel like the strangest as you get older, is when you realize we don't teach really how to be healthy, like in schools, and we don't teach really people unless they pursue it finance. - Exactly. - We just go like, get out there, fucking put it on a credit card, and that's what, and we just go, - Yep, money and health. There should be classes devoted to this. - You have to seek it out. We don't go, like we're gonna teach you that. - Because any, your body naturally, could you imagine? - If you were like really into it, and he's still young enough, you're not even 40, he's not even close. Not what are you, 28? - 29. - Gee, he's lying. Are you 30 something? But you're still young, you could cap. - No. - Did you imagine? - Sorry. - Enough of this clowning around. You got it. ♪ This is crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy ♪ - You know what I used to love? (laughing) - Not a little bit. - No, I'm not saying this to black Twitter. - What are you talking about? - I'm sending it straight to 'em. - For what? - You're gonna get another round of this shit. - I didn't do anything. - You didn't do anything. - I walked in the day, I go, "Who's this clown?" And then I just roll the double down, black Twitter will hear. - Okay, so, wait, so are you interested in that at all or not really though? - The pursuit of the. - Like you don't, when I. - You're a normal, healthy guy. - I mean moderately healthy, let's be honest. - He's not healthy. - Like my habits are probably the least healthy of any person in the world. - And your body is not matching your habits. - Absolutely not so. - Your body is still like, "Hey, we're pretty good." - Somehow, yeah, I really haven't lost much of anything in like, almost 10 years. - Do you want to change that? Or are you just like, "I don't really fucking care." - I mean, I think once there will be a day, there'll be a day, and I will go hard, and it will be like a thing I'll only focus on. But again, it's like the, 'cause I can't do the thing where you're saying where you're like, "Oh, don't go all the way in, don't be super extreme about it." Just do like a little bit, 'cause that's not how you do it. It's not just that I don't, it's that I'm not gonna care then, and then I'm just gonna be like, "Yeah, well why do I even need to do this?" - That's a good point. - That's a good point. - So if I did it, I would go super hard, but again, it's like, I know I'm gonna need a fucking dietitian, or a fucking, you know. - Dude, he smokes cigarettes, right? You smoke OG cigarettes. Remember when we used to order in and out at the old studio in receipta? - Oh, and he would go ham on like five burgers, so how many burgers could you eat at once? - I used to have at least four. But it also, I'd be like, when'd you last eat? And you'd be like, last, yesterday at one. And then today at four, you're like, I'm just gonna go home and get another pizza, and then I'll be good for another day. - Yeah, they came up with the term for it, I guess later in life, but I grew up doing that my whole life, but I guess I just intermittent fast. - Oh yeah, you were. - Your whole life. - It's different than the other. - Exploration. - So you weren't ever like a breakfast lunch dinner, you were just like, I'll eat when I'm hungry. - You just eat lunch. - Yeah, I like can't eat in the morning. Food, food. - Yeah, I don't like it either. - For at least four hours after I laid out. - Same. - I could eat. - You and I are totally opposite of breakfast. Tom wakes up, his eyes open, he wants to eat immediately. Me, I'm like, ugh, just like, I don't want to fucking eat. I just want to jack my stomach full of dark brown coffee, and like take pro's act on an empty stomach, rip that coffee, take a shit, and then wait until I'm starving, and then I'll give myself food. - Yes, everybody's got habits. It's pretty much like around like 11.59 pm, that's like right around where the hunger starts to kick in. - Wow. - Which I heard is a really good time to eat. - That's when they tell you to eat before they go asleep. - Eat. (laughing) - That's what they say. - Eat later. - That's what I do. - That's the secret. All right, well we'll discuss whether or not you want to go all in. - You would look so amazing. - You would. - If you put of all our bodies on the staff. - Yours is the closest you're ready to go. - You could just rip, dude. - Yeah, all right, we have to wrap this up. - Yeah. - Let's do it. Thank you guys for watching, thank you for listening, and you know, just make sure you scan your surroundings whenever you're anywhere. - We'll get that flashlight. - When you walk into a store, don't forget you can, if you're a pumping guy, you can just take off with the gas pump in. - Don't forget. - And get a flashlight and we'll be back with more ways to prepare yourself to stay safe out there and keep your family safe. We'll see you next week. - What's up there, Chomo? Listen here. (upbeat music) ♪ The time travel is over ♪ ♪ A thousand hours out of the island, yeah ♪ ♪ A man, a woman, a socket, a man ♪ ♪ Speeding out teeth, a skull, a fire ♪ ♪ Dirty talk, baby, rainbow blood, I'm a tiger ♪ ♪ Face that's what I'm like, a star that I ride ♪ ♪ That's what I'm gonna have ♪ ♪ I could never catch ♪ Can you tell me the speed will run out here, my dear brothers? 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