253: Happy Updates Only..

For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tramphya offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tramphya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tramphya, proper training is required. Tramphya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tramphya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit www.tramphyaradio.com. This episode is brought to you by Nintendo. Everyone's version of "me time" is a little different. That's why the Nintendo Switch 2 system is so fun. With exclusive and Nintendo Switch compatible games like Mario Kart World, Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Nintendo Switch 2 Edition, Tomodachi Life, Live in the Dream, or Yoshi and the Mysterious Book, there's something for every vibe. And with upgraded hardware, play at home or on the go, whenever the mood hits. Learn more at nintendo.com/nintendoswitch2. Games and systems sold separately. Some Nintendo Switch games may not be supported or fully compatible with Nintendo Switch 2. Games rated E for everyone. Okay, here we go. Um, I don't know if it's just me. I know it's not just me, but the feeling of existential dread is insane right now. It's so heavy. Obviously, there's a lot going on in the world, especially my home state of Minnesota, and it doesn't feel right starting this episode without saying something. Guys, honestly. Like, that is where we're at. I don't care what side of the aisle you fall on. If you are not enraged about what is happening right now, we got issues. We got beef, friends, because what is happening right now is an attack on our constitution, our human rights to be treated with just dignity and respect. And I don't think we're going to get away with that. We're going to get away with that. But this is getting recorded a couple days after Alex's murder in Minnesota, and I'm just distraught. And I know there's a lot going on all over the world, in Gaza still, in Iran, everywhere. And we as people, as citizens of this world, need to get loud and start really demanding change, because we cannot go on like this. It is not going to happen. It's just inconceivable. I don't want to make this whole thing a soapbox. It will not be. I've got Jenna here today. Yay. Yay. But I just want to address this. This is so important. And it's not just politics. It's morality. It's being a good person, a good human, and doing and saying and advocating for what is right. So that's that. I'll post some links in the description for resources that you can help Minnesota. People are really, really making a difference there and standing up for people. And it's just, it's amazing to see. But this episode, because I am so emotionally burnt out, and I'm sure you all are too, and you want a healthy distraction, this episode has no surprises for us. These are all stories that have updates. Updates that I'm deeming happy endings. Ooh. Okay, great. What you want to categorize as a happy ending is up to you. In my head, they're happy. At least we get closure regardless. We get closure. Yes. So we are doing a whole updates episode just to have some reprieve in this world. Bless. Bless. So on that note, thank you all for being here. Another week, another episode. Stay safe and let's dive in. Let's do it. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Please notice we have koozies this episode. I don't even know what you did to the. I need to go look. Jenna, it was three hours of moving a fucking iced coffee cup around the screen. It's funny because you literally ordered coffee both episodes. Because I was dying both days. And I'm not a Monday person. The episode with Charlie was a Monday. Like, I was, I was on some. Yeah. Some bad shit. Like, I don't even know. Like, watching it back and I'm like, Morgan, it's 40, 30. And I'm like, he's sitting here and I'm like, is he bad at math too? Because I'm bad at math. I know, but. Mm-hmm. No, it's okay. I get it. He was just too nice. He didn't want to correct me. It's fine. It's fine. This episode is going to make up for it. Okay. We are going to kick it off. So I'm kind of structuring it right now with crazy. Okay. Feel good. Crazy, crazy. Maybe a feel good. Crazy, crazy. Maybe a feel good. Crazy. And a feel good story at the end that might be familiar for some of you, but I just want to reiterate it. It's like a really famous Reddit story about someone breaking down in their car. Oh, okay. We'll get to it. I thought, sorry, my mind went to a mental breakdown, but. No. Okay. No. There hasn't been any. I mean, we had the Oktha. Yeah, that was crazy. However, everyone wants to say it. I'm like, it's a fake fucking roach. That was actually a great story to like walk into the studio to. Dude. That one was nuts. But I need other stories like that. Like we've gone through the Jolly Rancher, obviously Poop Knife. We've done the Dorito story on Patreon. We've done Come Omelette. Like we've done some of the historically crazy ones on Reddit. So if there's any other ones out there that like should be on my radar, but I've just been escaping me somehow, please comment them and I will make sure we get to them next. Or I'll save them for a guest I have coming up. The Basement Yard Boys. Okay. But this first one, again, all of these are from best of Redditor updates today. Many of which are from our friend, Direct Caterpillar 77. I don't know how they do it. This first one is from them. Okay. It's titled, My 23 female boyfriend, 24 male, wants to move in with me. I want him to live alone first. Okay. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. He lives with his parents, 50s, male and female, and younger brothers, 10, 16, 18. No sisters. Before current events, he was over at my place basically every night. A couple of nights ago, he said that he wants to move in with me if I'm up for it. I've been to his place more than once, and I've seen how their dynamic works. His mother does everything for all five men in that house. Cooking, cleaning, the works. Basically, all they have to do is put their laundry away after she washes, dries, irons, and folds it. The reason the parents aren't forcing them to contribute is that this was the parent's agreement. He works. She's a stay-at-home. So, she raises the kids and runs the household, and he pays for everything. With one of the clauses being that as she's doing everything, there's no need to involve the boys. As a result, my boyfriend cannot do anything. I don't know how much of this is actual cluelessness and how much is him trying to get out of stuff, but he has told me, completely sincere, and I checked this with his mother, that he can't even fry an egg. Which is why, when my boyfriend suggested moving in together, I said I wanted him to live alone first. So valid. His plan was basically to go straight from his mother's house to my flat. I told him my hesitation, which is that he can't do chores. He then offered to pay more rent, in exchange for me doing all of the chores. I said no. I don't want to be his mother or his maid. I want to be his girlfriend. Then I told him I wanted him to live alone. Go from his mother's house to his own place, figure out how to do all the things he's never done for himself, learn some basic life skills, and then revisit us living together. This has caused a huge argument. Biggest we've ever had. He's taken me saying he has no life skills as an insult, which it kind of was, to be fair, and has basically said that clearly I don't want to live with him at all, as I've pushed the moving in time back and have only said we'd revisit after a few months of him living alone. And I did say revisit because I wanted to make sure he actually knew what he was immediately switch back to offering more rent for no chores. This was all a couple of nights ago, and he has stopped talking. to me he's at his mom's he's online he's talking to mutual friends who have said he is responding he just won't answer any of my calls or texts right he's told our friends what happened and they're all on his side saying that i was really mean and cruel okay i love him and i do want to live with him eventually i just don't want to live with him if i'm doing everything and the one thing i don't want is him paying extra for me to do all of the housework is there some sort of compromise or some option i'm not seeing what can i do to fix this that guy needs to go learn some life skills like why is that such a bad thing to learn but also this relationship is not going to work at all i don't want to be a partner to him and contribute in any way to our household so can i just pay you my girlfriend no just why go learn to do the laundry it's so easy it's so easy learn how to fry an egg also 10 months of being in a relationship and living together that's crazy it seems a little quick for me it seems like he's like oh i'm tired of living with my parents yeah let me just hop on over and live with my girlfriend and she's like i'm tired of living with my parents and she's like she can take care of me i know there's never a mention of age but it's i thought it was 23 24 you're so right i have listening skills sometimes sorry fuck me um he's 24 i mean it's kind of that time actually like that's embarrassing and also another red flag is that and i don't know how he told his friends the story but the fact that they're all like yeah that's fucked up before so mean girl you don't want to be around these people he can't make an egg yeah you're not only going to be doing all the chores you're also going to be like cooking for him yeah no like every you are his mother now you're waiting on him hand and foot and that's the other thing you're just replacing his mom yeah and he gets to sleep with you like ew like but that's the thing it's like you don't get to just like skate through life and not contribute and how nice is it to have your mom do your laundry so nice i guess but like i would love to not do laundry ever again i would love to not clean it's not that hard though you put it in the machine and then you put the soap in but that's not reality that's not life like you can do your laundry yeah also aren't you embarrassed at 24 like i can't wash my laundry i can't make an egg if it weren't for my mommy i would die no that's so that's what i'm saying like it's embarrassing why don't you want to learn these life skills also she's gonna have so much resentment like continuing down like as soon as he moves in yeah if he moves in the relationship is over there's no way unless her dream is to be like a housewife yeah there's no way that's gonna work and some people do want to do that like some people it doesn't sound like she wants to no and imagine then kids like if this is all he's seen she's gonna have to raise all the kids you're raising him you're raising your kids he is useless and like parents don't do this to your kids like don't enable their inadequacy to do basic life skills your kids should be cooking with you from the time they're little they should be helping with chores from the time they're little i don't really like to cook but i figure it out i hate cooking there's frozen stuff to buy you don't have to learn to fry an egg you just have to learn how to like use a microwave no i literally the only way i will cook i started ordering pre-made meals again from like the meal kit services that's nice though and that's easy and then like i love getting the kits that are just sent to you you don't have to think about it you don't have to grocery shop everything is right there ready to go because then i don't feel like it's out of my my wheelhouse because i i just hate it but you know what i've been making a lot lately dense bean salad aka cowboy caviar because people were in my instagram caviar it's literally a bunch of different beans what i love a refried bean you would be into this okay just hear me out what kind of beans okay i'm very particular about my beans well you can pick your beans we have black beans i like black beans pinto beans white beans garbanzo beans aka chickpeas hate chickpeas don't like that they have two different names and then we put in cucumbers love cucumber we put in avocado fresh though delicious okay and then you add some olive oil okay a squeeze of a lemon okay cracked pepper red wine vinaigrette delicious and then you take a chip and you dip i guess with a chip it could be okay you're not gonna it's the texture eat it plain it's like the bean texture for me well the cucumbers add a nice crunch same with the chip the cucumber adds crunch yeah interesting are you eating sorry i was no you know what my brain you said cucumber i saw avocado in my head i see i see i'll make you some really good it's just like because i'm a grazer and if there's not something readily available i resort to bad snacks sure don't we all constantly um and so it's just nice because i grab a chip and i dip and i go about my my day and then you're happy you have a couple chips it's really good good fiber um colon cancer awareness right there we need more fiber gi docs are like coming out in droves being like please eat more fiber please actually one thing that i'm really good at is eating fiber okay well then you can like the beans you're gonna get on board okay yeah no bean lover right here yeah i i would wear a button that says bean lover on it i wish you would i'm trying to make justin eat it because he needs more fiber he doesn't like beans either he is what i'm hearing he's just like weird he thinks beans are gonna upset his stomach and i keep making him eat it and then it doesn't upset his stomach but wouldn't it help correlating well it hurts your stomach because it's fiber like when the fiber just makes stuff move yeah he's getting a colonoscopy soon okay he's getting he's getting on there that's good he's getting on there but this one we do have quite a few comments from op obviously people are like um yeah you're not wrong for wanting i would hope him to live alone like that's very reasonable someone goes you don't need to fix anything your boyfriend needs to learn to take care of himself not just expect you to be mommy with benefits ew oh oh i know i know but that's there are couples like that though if he's insulted that you said he had no life skills he should go and get some how is he not wildly embarrassed to be 24 and not do his own laundry anyways op says he says when he was 17 and there was a possibility of him moving away for university he asked his mom to show him the basics and she refused because that was her job so i'd say so i'd say the parents aren't blameless here but for the most part when i say how can you not do x he just shrugs and says no one ever taught me okay to be fair to him and it's not an excuse but at least he asked when he was 17 at least yeah he tried he tried and if i say he should have learned on his own or found a youtube tutorial or something he tells me to stop attacking him because not everyone had to be a self-sufficient as a kid the way that i did i had the exact opposite of his upbringing where i basically took care of my mom from a young age which necessarily isn't right like parentification is also very bad yeah but there is a middle ground where your kids do age-appropriate tasks like hey you're going through puberty your clothes stink wash your clothes can start washing your stuff so they're both at different extremes which is probably why he's like taking such offense to it yeah but like you're 20 like there's just no reason it's time yeah now it's time it's we gotta do something something i'm not telling you to go change your tires or learn how to change your oil but like maybe maybe just cooking an egg yeah and then also washing a sock what is his plan though to live with his parents until he finds a girlfriend to move in with like is he ever planning on living alone no no i mean i think his mom i think that's what his mother wants yeah and that is crazy i think like i think there must be a nice feeling because like it does make you feel good when like people appreciate you or like it's like they need me especially as a mom i like can imagine it would feel really good to like have your kids need you especially even as they're older like oh my baby still need me like who doesn't love to feel needed and appreciated sure sure but like at the same time like you're not helping them grow yeah yeah and aren't you tired of washing skid marked underwear four boys come on yeah come on i don't know um someone goes how can i say this frying an egg and putting the clothes inside the washing machine not rocket science op responds what gets me about the it's not rocket science thing is he's literally working towards a phd in a science subject he understands rocket science but can't fry an egg okay so that's good that he's not stupid but like but at the same time someone responds it's not that he can't he chooses not to yeah no for sure everyone can do these tasks and they go on to say he can fucking google if it's so complex but he hasn't he literally does not want to learn someone does like break down what it would be like i don't know let's say your rent is 1300 this guy thought he could pay 325 each month for the luxury of a full-time maid who does all of the cooking cleaning laundry and home management that's actually hilarious don't give in you're 100 making the right call not moving in with a man child op responds 600 pounds so he'd be paying about 150 extra so he was going to pay you 150 to essentially be his full-time maid op responds and chef exactly here's the thing though if he wants to pay all the rent i would consider it a good idea to pay him 150 extra so he'd be paying about 150 extra so he'd be paying we would both be starving we would both be starving because he wouldn't be getting good meals no but like i consider maybe a piece of french toast i can yeah i can rock french toast you want me to cook you something in the oven what oh sorry do you hand make your french toast yeah i get the challah bread and i slice it oh sorry you talking about the french toast sticks yeah i do like those air fried that's what i thought you were referring to yeah no i'm because those are still good i know my way around an air fryer i'll tell you that much i know my way around that little gadget what are you talking about homemade french toast is like luxurious yeah that's what you're trying to do i can rock that i can knock that one out of the park okay i would eat that every day that is what my kids will be eating every day french toast whoa i can scramble an egg do i like it no well see no but am i good at it yeah he doesn't know how to fry an egg everybody can scramble an egg right yeah you can't mess that up yeah over easy little above his pay grade but um scramble come on pretty easy come on okay so as i said we get an update oh okay and max has joined us for the update say hi to max everyone update hi cool for dear good update he called me and agreed to talk he then basically said that he was never going to be willing to learn to do anything and even suggested dividing up the chores and that i do my half and he hire a maid to do his half suffice to say this was something of a turnoff and by the end of the conversation we broke up yes i knew it i was like there's no way this is gonna last yeah i think they're just on different pages the fact that he said there's no way my compromise is i will hire a maid what i'm still gonna do all my chores but then you're gonna hire a maid for yours you can hire a maid for everything i was gonna say if he wants to do it for everybody sick is the word made like i feel like you're supposed to say like housekeeper now it's like just nicer yeah i've never referred to anyone as a maid but housekeeper for sure housekeeper yeah that's crazy it's just funny that he like literally died on that hill well and like someone points out eesh girl it sounds like he feels these tasks are beneath him and his shitty parents taught him that by never requiring him to do chores wow what is this the 50s how did you even date him yeah i want to know what his like what are other aspects of his personality because they don't seem like they're good what redeeming qualities does he have op responds to that and goes we were friends first and i didn't find out until a few months in lesson learned though i feel like she should have just like ended it a few months in i don't know like you don't know until you know that's true like 10 months is so it's not that long it's not that long like justin had cooked me a meal definitely by 10 months but there's a lot you don't necessarily get to or see do you think cooking is a requirement in a relationship asking for my own research i think it depends like if you hate cooking then you hopefully find the the yang to your yin and that person loves cooking however i still think even if the person loves cooking they're not going to want to cook every meal all the time so it's like you got to be able to pick up some slack and hey if they want to cook every meal every time then you're washing every dish i'm a great dishwasher yeah i'll always wash a dish see i don't know if i'm a great dishwasher yeah i'll always wash a dish see i don't know if i'm a great dishwasher yeah i don't always wash a dish see i don't know if i'm a great dishwasher yeah i don't know if i'm a great dishwasher yeah i don't a great dishwasher yeah i'll always wash a dish see i love the dishwasher i have moments of greatness where i will have like a breakthrough with my adhd and i'll just like i can't stop cleaning can't stop washing love that for you but i've really discovered the one pot cooking method you just cook everything in a pot you just take out one pot and slowly step by step you keep adding ingredients and doing things and i just discovered the most amazing dairy-free it's like this crazy twirly pasta with a coconut cream sauce and sun-dried ripened tomatoes then you put some chicken in there and it's like it was the best meal i've had in years and i didn't hate cooking it because i just had to put it in a pot i'm gonna take that recipe from you i will share it it's really good i'm like found it on pinterest pinterest however you want to say it pinterest it's so good okay so good see i hate cooking but it's like you just have to make it attainable and easy like you work with what you can and want to do and that's why i use the microwave well okay wait well you're giving eighth grade home mech class when all they let you use was the microwave i am i should only be allowed to use the microwave oh my god i don't even own a microwave well i had an air fryer and it died on me and i just haven't gotten a new one so i've just been to start on fire no it just doesn't work it just turned it made its last thing it won't turn back on it's heartbreaking it was just i have two air fryers i just need to go get one like mine wasn't so dirty i'd be like you can have it but no it's okay i really just need to invest in an air fryer because everything would taste so much better if i did that also i love this one air fryer it like does everything like air fries toast bake is it like a square thing yeah i don't like those but i'm glad you like it it's so easy to get stuff in and out you should look at the you'll work okay we're gonna evaluate a lot of things today beans air fryers perfect it's fine but happy update right happy ending yeah okay yeah moving on to this next one gonna get worse before it gets better just remember that you said this was happy well i just i rearranged momentarily okay this one is titled am i the asshole for honestly telling my girlfriend what i would change about her probably i watched a tiktok where a couple asked each other what they would change about each other and they both said nothing perfect and they love each other very much as you should etc so i thought let me try this with my girlfriend without filming of course she said quote i wouldn't change anything about you maybe i would make you less anxious about everyday stuff so you wouldn't suffer it's true i tend to be very anxious and obsessive compulsive sometimes but i'm dealing with it then she asked me what i would change about her i told her i would like her to have her old body back meaning before the pandemic when she was more muscular and a little bit thinner also i told her she could be less hairy in some areas like her face and arms and i wish her hair was more cared for i wouldn't change anything fundamental about her appearance maybe make her legs a little bit thinner but all my requests are very much achievable with a little effort she didn't seem to appreciate my comments her expression changed and she laughed at me i told her i would in her room without saying anything we slept on different beds and the next day she told me something very hurtful she said quote i don't think your appearance is perfect either there are some issues but i love you enough not to pester you about them when i asked her what she meant she replied that she wished i followed her skincare advice to get rid of my acne and that i would work out with her more i told her the difference is that i was honest and she lied she didn't say anything but it was obvious that she had been crying the whole night she went to her sister's house and hasn't been responding to my messages so am i the asshole for being honest yeah why would you write this in are you stupid yeah genuinely yeah yeah she came back at you and said things that she would change because you like attacked her you tore her body to shreds she didn't even lie she like clearly she's happy with who you are maybe not now why would you think that that's okay and what were also you know if you're like trying something on tiktok it's already gonna go bad yeah i just don't understand what the point of this was like the example that op saw on tiktok was like sweet and loving sweet and loving like i wouldn't change anything about you i love you and that's what she did the only thing she would change was just like to make op more happy like i wish you were just like a little less anxious because i don't like watching you suffer yeah it was nice and then he used this as a way to like body shame her body shame her and like say stuff he's probably wanted say for a while but didn't have a good excuse to say this was his excuse and now he's like well it was just a trend like I didn't mean it like that you can't use that as an excuse how does that it like how does telling someone I wish you were a little bit thinner how does that ever like come across nicely no or lovingly if you just went to the gym you just need a little bit more effort you could achieve this easily I also wish you were less hairy in some areas like your face and arms yo what the fuck does that mean I'm sorry I'm sorry I have body hair we need to like stop like if people want to have body hair let them have body hair it's not unnatural otherwise our bodies wouldn't have it also are you hairless doubt it men can shave too I'm pro men shaving I like it yeah shave your legs I like watching olympic swimmers for a reason I'm just kidding but they're shaven they are there's nothing what what what also your face what do you mean your face is hairy what does that mean I don't maybe she's dealing with some PCOS and insulin resistance and she's missed her chin hair days a couple a couple days like oh getting old sucks the amount of chin hairs I've found lately oh really does that happen yeah and insulin resistance it's fine you'll get there someday oh I got gray hairs I'm like 70% gray we all have our burdens to bear yeah but you know what I wouldn't do point it out in my partner it's so so dumb all the comments go after him I'm like there's just like what did he expect did he delete this post he had to have I mean the account has been banned at this point um best of redditor updates is pulling it up from rare edit it's like a like a way back machine okay that documented reddit posts before reddit stopped allowing those to work makes life so much harder these days but I mean this is from 2022 I think how old is this guy did we did it say no mention of an age and I'm double checking now I gotta miss it again but yeah no mention of an age so I mean we've been making progress about like body neutrality and how we don't comment on people's bodies we like whatever but I think it's giving very immature um and even three years ago I don't think this was normal no so I don't think so no it shouldn't ever have ever been normal to say something like that no so yeah I would say you're the asshole and the comments did too yeah verdict asshole one of the top comments you're the asshole you saw an opportunity to confront your girlfriend about things you're not attracted to under the guise of oh look how fun and sweet you tricked her and made her feel like shit yeah next one down yeah op is a massive asshole even the way he wrote this up you can tell he's still trying to convince himself that it was for a tiktok trend I hope for the girlfriend's sake that she can see what type of person he really is would he have said all that if he was actually filming it for a tiktok trend I don't know because it is interesting he put in here like not filming without filming of course I almost wonder if it's like well I wasn't filming it so it doesn't matter what I said because it wasn't going to go anywhere anyways right like I don't know but then he posted this on reddit so it's like he's still incriminating himself but I genuinely don't think he sees how big of a deal it is probably not I just if he did he there's no way he would have posted this well op does obviously give us an update I cannot wait I get it I'm the asshole wow I called and profusely apologized but she said she would think of my comments every time I look at her and it's something that she just can't forget my girlfriend of four years broke up with me and now I see why thank you all for your comments okay I'm shocked that's how he handled that the fact he said I get it I'm the asshole like basically being like I'm wrong yeah crazy we don't get a lot of those no you don't we don't get those every day yeah I'm I'm glad like I hope he takes something from this and like I do it's hard because like we all want to like look out for our partners but at the same time you don't want to ever shame them or make them feel insecure and I think especially like if you're like a woman and you're getting that feedback of like oh you're a little you've perked up a little bit you're a little plumper like that is gonna stick in my head maybe not everyone's but it would stick in mine and it's like I don't even want to be intimate with you like you made me so insecure that like I don't is your comments and like how do you move forward with a partner right in in an area like my body and you like being intimate with me and my body like it's just like that is such a vulnerable space and you just made that vulnerable space not safe not comfortable also what do you do also like if I've gained weight trust me I know like I know I will be very well aware but you so much worse I know I I thought we were to a better time where like we we really have like stopped commenting on people's bodies and like stuff no we haven't I'll tell you right now we haven't the comments I've gotten insane I I just like I don't understand and I don't know if it's like it's from people like not thinking people are gonna see it or hear it but like someone was like is Morgan pregnant on like my wedding pictures I don't know if it's like it's from people like not thinking people are gonna see it or hear it no okay thanks what do you actually crazy and then someone else like on like a dress picture I posted and I don't even post that much so it's just like why why are we doing this someone was like oh you have a great figure that dress is ugly blah blah blah and it's like why why would you say that it's like I was in my luteal phase I was bloated as fuck I go this was all I was wearing so just like also what can I change about it I'm pictured in it I took a video in it I clearly wore it to this fucking event mm-hmm what can I change about this now if you can't change it hearing a comment about it is just so hurtful yeah what do I do about this and Alejandro said this like years and years ago it's like if someone can't change something in like 10 to 15 seconds don't comment on it if it's like a piece of spinach in their teeth you should tell them because then they can get it out if it's oh you've gained weight can they change that in 10 to 15 seconds no okay let me just go to the gym then okay like no so it's just like be kind be kind and don't do tiktok trends on your partner when they never end up going well very rarely yeah unless it's like in there if they go well it's probably pre-planned a lot of those pranks and stuff on tiktok yeah so don't do that no I just like learned about this one prank couple on tiktok prank versus prank no sorry that was like 2010 maybe they do pranks I don't know like their content was very like couple-y and they all of a sudden announced their divorce and then a girl came out of the woodwork and she was like yeah I'm pregnant with his baby oh wait do you know the name of this Chrissy and she's just like beautiful seems so sweet like and like they were together I think like 14 16 years like crazy long time it's just super shitty super sad I have not heard of them but I love tea I love drama that's a rabbit hole you'd like to fall down I'm sure because it had some some doozies okay so this next one I have is actually brought to you by state farm as a lot of us know life has a way of throwing big moments at us all at once getting married moving houses buying a new car starting a new job and when you take the time to prepare like by talking to a state farm agent those moments don't just happen they land the way they're meant to so as we're going through this next story I really want us to try to pinpoint the moment that just mattered the most this is the thing that tipped the scale for our op here and really just made this happen this is titled I unwittingly created a family with my next door neighbor unwittingly unwittingly can I get the definition for that oh yes you certainly can because it is a big word for Elmo unwittingly without being aware unintentionally yes many users unwittingly expose their personal details to strangers online unwittingly that's a good example three years ago a woman named Cassie 32 female and her son Kenny 13 male moved into the apartment next door they had a few boxes so I figured I'd 31 male offer to help and get off to a good start I noticed Kenny had a PS4 so I told him that I game as well and he was free to come over and play my systems anytime he wanted if his mother allowed it I have a PS5 switch a PC just as an FYI since I'm a mechanic I told Cassie if she had car trouble she could come to me anytime since I help out a lot of the other people on the floor with their cars as well she accepted I didn't really interact with either Kenny or Cassie Besides a few haze, for a couple of weeks initially, but a little more than a month after moving in, Cassie knocked on my door and asked if I could check her car because the engine wasn't turning over. Turns out the spark plugs needed to be changed, which was easy enough to do. Cassie was very thankful for my help and offered to pay, but I told her it was no problem. She invited me to dinner with her and Kenny, and I was hesitant to accept, but she insisted on it. The next day, we had dinner, and it was a good time. I learned a lot about her and talked to Kenny more. He's a good kid, really into games, science, and his guitar. We even all went over to my place for some Mario Kart. From then on, I got really close to Kenny. I viewed him like a little brother. He came over to play my games almost every day, and I even started teaching him about cars. I even brought him to my shop to introduce him to tools. He's a quick study, and he even told Cassie he wants to be a mechanic like me. I told him to aim higher and become an engineer. He is now even looking into engineering programs. I think Cassie really appreciated our relationship. She became a lot more friendly with me. I got COVID during lockdown, and out of the kindness of her heart, she brought me groceries, cleaned my apartment, and even took care of me. I was totally grateful. She even cooks dinner for me every night, and we all have dinner together. She even makes dinner for me when I work late, and then leaves it in my apartment. The other day, Kenny brought one of his friends over to his apartment. I met the friend, and he said, this is OP. He's like my dad. Not gonna lie, that took me by surprise. I always viewed Kenny as my little brother, but here he is saying that I'm like a dad to him. I asked Cassie about this, and she seemed surprised I even asked. She said that she would never force that role on me, but that he did view me as his father. He even hoped that me and Cassie would get together so that we can be a real family. Cassie then said she wouldn't mind that either. I asked her if she was asking me out. She just smiled and said yes. I was surprised, but said okay. We have a dinner date this weekend, and I'm nervous as all hell. I don't want to ruin things with Cassie and or Kenny. I really do love both of them, but I'm not sure how I feel about being the father figure for Kenny. It's a lot of responsibility, and I'm not entirely sure I'm the guy for that. And Cassie? She's a really amazing woman. I just hope I can measure up to her expectations. I'm just asking Reddit, are my worries unfounded? Should I put some boundaries between me and Kenny? How do I not screw this up with Cassie? Mm. He's. He's overthinking. He's overthinking. It's so cute! The thing is, is you don't have to change anything that you're doing. No. Because it's already there. There's just a label on it now, which is freaking him out. I know. But, like, just keep doing what you're doing. The foundation's there. Yeah, you don't need to change. No, and it started. You didn't have any ulterior motives. No. Which is. Which is. Bless. Bless. Very rarely in life do you ever, like, as long as OP is being truthful, of course, but, like, I'm getting reliable. I'm the narrator here. Yeah. But, like, you don't get, like, especially, I can imagine, as a seemingly single mom, Kenny's with her full time. You don't hear about a dad. You don't hear about Kenny going to his dad's. Mm-hmm. She's probably got the weight of the world on her. And it's, like, it's hard being a single parent. So, to have this guy who's just super neighborly and nice and takes your kid under his wing and. Mm-hmm. You just feel safe and, like, you have that village of support system again. Like, just, I don't know. Like, obviously, there's not a lot of info. There's not a lot of info we're getting, but I can just imagine, like, not having someone start a relationship with you based on wanting to sleep with you and just be a good person. Yeah. And also help with your kid. Sounds pretty freaking nice. That sounds, like, perfect. Sounds like how it's, like, supposed to be. I know. Really. I know. So, the top comment is, it sounds like you were already fulfilling the job requirements before you were hired. Mm-hmm. I wouldn't worry about this OP. It sounds like the start of something beautiful. Mm-hmm. Next person down, quite literally this. You've already been doing all the right things. No reason to worry now. Just keep doing what you've been doing. Someone. I agree. responds to that and goes, he's that guy who's very good at doing something until he realizes that he's doing the things he's good at. Suddenly, he panics and wonders if he's good enough to do the thing he's already been unknowingly doing. Exactly. Like, don't overthink it. The labels, like, just don't put the label on it. It's fine. And sometimes, like, putting a label on stuff. It's scary. overthinking it, it's just like, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Yeah. And, like, yeah, okay, you're. Now you're dating. There's a little bit different of stakes. They might be a little higher. Yeah. There's, like, there's something to lose now. Yeah. But she likes you for you. Mm-hmm. So, just keep being your kind, authentic, genuine self. Mm-hmm. And if you work, you work. But this sounds like it was a relationship kind of founded on friendship. So, even if maybe you don't work romantically. You would still be friends. You would hope so. Yeah. As long as no one does something terrible. No. And especially for Kenny's sake now, since. Yeah. he's attached, you'll want to, you know, help the kid, keep the kid around. He's so cute. Also, I love the mom's segue being like, I wouldn't mind if you were his father either. Ah! What a segue. Someone would throw in a daddy joke here, like, she wants to call him daddy too. You know? Like, that's what it's giving. She do. She does. She do. Yeah, she's into it. So, we get an update 10 days later. And I will add, the original post is coming from October 18th, 2022. Okay. So, OP said, like, oh, she took care of me when I got COVID. Like, COVID, granted, it could have been three months before this post. Like, COVID is around still. I mean, I just talked to someone who got COVID, so. People are really getting sick right now. Like, flu and cold season and COVID season this year has been crazy. Mm-hmm. But it also could have been, you know, a year ago, two years ago. Like, Cassie moved in three years ago. So, it's not like this all happened overnight. This has been three years? COVID then came 2020, it started. Mm-hmm. So, she had already been living there for a year. Mm-hmm. And then he potentially got sick somewhere in that time span. Like, a woman doesn't just take care of you for fun if you have COVID. No. No. Like, she's. She's been feeling these feelings. She's into it. Before we get into the update on this one, did you guys think of a moment that mattered the most in this story? What changed OP's fate? What tipped the scale? For me, it felt like when he really took Kenny under his wing. But I think the second one that stood out is him fixing Cassie's car because car trouble is beyond stressful. But I would love to see what you guys think in the comments. And thank you, State Farm, for presenting this story for us, because it is a good one. Big life moments come with enough change on their own. With State Farm, you can focus on what matters most, knowing you're prepared for whatever comes next. Like this update. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. So, the update comes 10 days later. Hey, all. Thanks for all the nice comments on the first post. It's weird being complimented so much, but I guess I like it. LOL. Don't we all? I've definitely said that sentence before. Also, this update was originally posted in relationships, but they won't let me post it for whatever reason. People were demanding an update, so here I am. Some things to clarify before the update. People were asking me if I'm actually attracted to Cassie, and the answer is yes. She's one of the strongest, nicest, most considerate people I know. She constantly puts people before herself, and I always wished that someone would put her for once. And did I mention that Cassie is super pretty? I guess I just never thought Cassie would find me attractive or be interested in me that way. Now the update. I was nervous as hell all week leading up to the date on Saturday. During our usual family dinners, Cassie smiled at me a lot more. I don't think Kenny noticed since he was too busy playing on his phone. Cassie, not so subtly, suggested to Kenny that he go spend a weekend with his grandparents. He didn't really want to, she pretty much pushed him out the door, lol. On Saturday evening, I knocked on Cassie's door, and she opened it up wearing an absolutely beautiful dress. I broke the tension and asked if that dress was for me. She laughed, and we went on our way. The evening was a little awkward at first, but when we were walking to the restaurant, she grabbed my hand and smiled at me, and it sort of got rid of the awkwardness. From there, the evening went amazingly. We talked, laughed, and had a great dinner. I asked her what made her change her mind about me, and she said it was the previous Christmas. For reference, Cassie is a hardworking single mom, and Kenny has all of his needs met and more. But she can't afford to get him the best, and it really hurts her that she can't. She really wanted to get him a PS5 since he was begging for one. But she couldn't justify the cost. Since I have disposable income, I hunted for months, checking stock drops until I finally got one. I then surprised Kenny, with it on Christmas and told him it was from his mom. - Oh, ho, ho, ho. oh cassie was shocked and even started crying kenny was so excited he didn't even notice her crying all she could tell me was thank you repeatedly apparently that made her realize that she wanted me in both of their lives forever she tried to deny her feelings but it didn't work the conversation the other day was the opening she needed to finally confess how she felt after dinner we went back to her place for a nightcap we talked a lot about relationship expectations and how we want to proceed we agreed to be exclusive to take it slow and not to tell kenny about anything until we're sure that this relationship is real and strong we don't want to give him unrealistic expectations she also said that her calling me his dad was too much too soon and she apologized for it she said it was wishful thinking on her part and probably would have weirded out most people she said for me to accept any role with kenny that i wanted but she hoped that i would see kenny as a son eventually sorry to disappoint everyone we didn't do the deed we decided that it was too much too soon we did however have a buzzed makeout session lol the following day we went for brunch and decided to go apple picking it felt damn good to be walking hand in hand with someone you care about and taking lots of pictures doing silly things at our family dinner yesterday cassie sat close to me and was rubbing her phone with her phone and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i don't think i've ever been more turned on in my life lol i'm not gonna lie guys i think i'm falling for cassie and falling hard you're already face planted on the ground my guy you have fell like you have fallen what well anyways i think that's it we're together now and hopefully this lasts i don't think i want anyone else cassie is everything one could want in a partner and i hope that i can be worthy of her she's a really special person thanks everyone you're all so so kind wow that was a good update and a good story overall good yeah i'm taking notes we have more wait what yeah so this is coming a month and a half later are they getting married already so op shares like a baby update in response to someone's not like not okay it's not pregnant okay like a small update i love the word baby and tiny okay you mean okay yeah i see i love the word little hey you little cutie like i just everyone is little for me so someone goes just do her already she's probably very frustrated respectfully another frustrated woman with a clueless guy okay all right they're like fuck her literally i'm invested in other reasons for this story but okay sure okay so op responds this was the fuck funniest comment i've read on here so far believe me i'm no quera boy and i would love to take cassie to pound town why literally ew but i want to respect her and not just seem like i'm in it for the sex taking it slow means not running around like horny teenagers unfortunately but i dare say things have been progressing nicely we cross little milestones almost every day and we're it's way too early for the l word but i don't know how to describe it as anything other than that since people like our story i'll give you a small little update we spent thanksgiving with her parents her mother always liked me and was our biggest shipper right away she sussed it out i guess just by the way we were looking at each other or our energy or something women are really good at that kind of stuff lol her mom pulled us aside and asked if we were together and she said we denied it at first but she just gave us that come on face we gave in and admitted it she hugged me and practically squeezed the life out of me lol her mom couldn't even hide her smile the rest of the night meanwhile while me and her dad were talking at dinner cassie was not so subtly rubbing her feet up and down my legs causing me to stutter a couple times her dad asked me if i was all right i just said i had bad heartburn honestly it always works i feel like i'm a damn high schooler again this is all so new dangerous and exciting like it's almost forbidden in a way as for kenny little man doesn't suspect a thing i think we've been restoring a car together and that's been keeping his mind occupied plus he's too busy chasing his own crushes oh cute and then i felt like there was more i could just i could do anything i wanted to do i didn't want to do anything i didn't want to do anything i didn't want to do anything i didn't want to do anything i didn't want to do anything i didn't want to do anything is coming april 29th 2024 18 months later they're married for sure they have a kid on the way the post is titled because this was posted in um true off my chest and the post is titled my girlfriend just sent me roses to my workplace and i don't know what to do with myself okay in the break room at work and i'm grinning like an idiot and i don't know what to do with my hands so i'm trying to figure out what to do with myself and i'm trying to figure out what to do with typing this out to get rid of all of this nervous energy i work as a mechanic and my boss called me over to the office i thought i fucked up somehow but he had a big ass bouquet of roses on his desk he told me this is for you i was like what the fuck but i read the card attached to it and it said quote just because love girlfriend my boss laughed at me and told me that i had a to give me shit for it but he's happy for me sure enough the boys on the floor ripped me to shreds once they heard about it but i didn't care i was floating lol they're just jealous now i'm on my break and i can't stop thinking about how much this completely caught me off guard can someone please talk me down from going out and buying her a ring after work lol i'm shocked he hasn't already do it yeah do it why not do it prove it do it top comment ah so sweet not going to stop you lol if they already talked about marriage being a possibility absolutely go for it if not maybe check with her first how she's feeling on the matter the proposal itself can be a surprise but marriage shouldn't be that was 2024 that was 2024 so someone goes found her account lol and then everyone in the comments is like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry it's like for the love of god tell us her username link please please send the link they never share it so if we have some sleuths out there they just wanted attention they didn't they just wanted people yeah what the hell to whatever op does clarify that like the guys are happy for him they're just kind of busting his chops just mechanic vibes yeah they know very well who she is because she delights in embarrassing me at work sometimes she randomly pops in and drop lunch and won't leave until i give her a kiss and i'm not talking a peck on the cheek either whoa someone responds getting ripped by the boys is a seal of approval i feel like yeah yeah so i'm not seeing any comments and like i'm trying to be like i bought my boyfriend flowers i'm like trying to like oh you're trying to find her accounts yeah not seeing any any things but we have talked about this on the podcast before like i don't care who it is like go buy a guy in your life flowers like we read a story i don't remember exactly what it was but someone was like men guys boys whatever don't get flowers really at all in life the one time is their funeral damn and they're dead they can't appreciate it they don't moment this week take an opportunity to go buy a guy in your life some flowers that could be cute it would be adorable should i bring my guy friend flowers absolutely at dinner tomorrow absolutely should i do that in honor of the story yes if you don't i'm gonna be pissed what yeah yeah say less you need to now well now i feel like i have to you have to absolutely go to trader joe's they've got great cheap flowers yeah most grocery stores do you need to now well now i feel like i have to you have to absolutely go to trader joe's unless it's a bougie grocery store then it's like the arrangement prices are crazy no i trader joe's has great flowers i know no need for more too okay so op does have an edit on that post okay hey everyone i'm finally off to work and i'm still really flustered but i think i've calmed down lol i don't think i'm gonna get her a ring today but i have to do something problem is i don't know what she deserves absolutely everything but i can't think of anything that would equal this i do have an idea of taking her on a last minute romantic getaway this week and also to everyone asking yes the woman in my story is cassie from my previous posts oh it was confirmation yeah yeah so just so we know it is they're still together okay yeah that would have been crazy if he was like this is a brand new woman oh i would have had people in shambles i would have been wrecked i would have been like there's no hope i would have been real yeah and then we get another update okay after that post. It's a month later. So this is from May 21st. 20th 2024 okay so this may we're like nine months nine months after 26 oh my god it's okay so this is like a year a year and nine months i know it's tough no no it's just this year it's just this year i keep calling um justin's piano i keep calling it a computer i keep like okay that one's crazy i'm like i'm literally gonna go get a brain scan because i'm like what what's up it's just tough the words are all jumbled yeah but i'm 31 about to be 32 shouldn't be this hard to talk oh no i still feel that okay update hey well i have good news for you after that little stunt cassie pulled i decided that i really needed to stop waiting and make cassie an honest woman period i was waiting until we had closed on a house but i realized that was just an excuse so i had a secret discussion with her parents and when i told them that i plan on proposing to her her mother practically jumped through the roof lol she then immediately went into planning mode about the best way to propose to her and what kind of ring she wants all of that stuff honestly i don't know who's more excited me or her lol the most hilarious thing about this is that cassie saw how giddy i was after the roses and she was happy i liked them she had to calm me down and told me not to do anything stupid lol i did end up planning a very nice weekend away over memorial day weekend just the two of us at a lake house i don't know exactly when or where i'll propose but i guess if people want it i'll update there better be an update that's it that's all that's what we get that's all we get so in order for us to get a further update i think we all need to go message op on reddit i think we all need to go message op on reddit the top comment though on boru just says my head canon is that they got so busy planning the proposal wedding the rest of their happy lives that they forgot about reddit i hope so that's as they should they 100 they're married they're living in a nice new house with little kenny it's what a year nine i don't know what the matter a year nine months okay we have a lot of update that we can cover here i know i feel like they're married op and he do i need you to come back in just like let us know i know just a quick one just just let me know that i'm right just yeah just nice nice and you know whatever i mean they are a part of the three-year club on reddit now i'm gonna i'm gonna literally send him a chat right now i was like hi op just like let me know where you're at sent do you think he'll i'm just gonna say a little prayer say a little prayer say a little prayer for you somewhere in there for me for me actually for us oh my god my feet are out um but i feel like it's got to be happy i mean clearly in love she's sending this guy flowers at work i mean i guess there's a chance he like logged off because it was bad but i'm not gonna put that into the universe no i don't think that's the case it seems like it's theme that was happy cut cut what i just said don't ruin it for us cut that no i i think like i think that is true when when life is just like so good you do kind of forget about like innocuous things yeah he's living his best life he is he's confident in himself now he don't need reddit no more you don't need reddit no more bye hey but we can never forget where we started so update us yeah that's what we're saying just let us know just let us know you're happy just confirm it that's all we're asking just like a little update that was cute it was adorable the next one i don't know um perfect we're gonna move on to this one and since op was a mechanic we're gonna we're gonna have like a little one about a this episode is brought to you by talkiatry when your mental health is suffering finding the right treatment can be overwhelming that's where talkiatry comes in talkiatry is an online psychiatry practice with licensed psychiatrists who can evaluate diagnose and provide ongoing medication management when appropriate they accept major insurers can treat anxiety adhd depression and more and you can schedule your first visit in days not months go to talkiatry.com hot takes to get matched in minutes that's t-a-l-k-i-a-t-r-y dot com slash hot takes talkiatry.com slash hot takes this episode is brought to you by vinted season is changing time to clean out that closet and maybe make some extra money in the process vinted is a second-hand marketplace app where you can sell your clothes you no longer wear and get more value from your clients out of your wardrobe it's super simple to use and with no selling fees so you keep what you earn give your clothes a second life with vinted download the vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees car okay yeah all right okay so this is coming from am i the asshole perfect three years old now it is titled am i the asshole for telling my girlfriend the way she talks about her car is weird and it's not right it's not right it's not right it's not right it's not right embarrassing is this a boyfriend or a girlfriend i 25 no mention whoa i 25 have been dating my girlfriend 23 for about nine months now when she turned 21 her parents gave her a car and she decided to name it angie i learned all of this on our first date when she said quote angie took me here i thought that was odd but let it slide throughout our relationship she always talked about her car as if she's talking about another person when she got a flat tire on the highway a few months back she called me and said that angie's shoe broke and has to get a new one when she goes to the car wash she describes it as giving angie a bath yeah this all came to head this weekend when me and my friends went out drinking and my girlfriend offered to be the designated driver we were out for a couple of hours and i admittedly got a bit too drunk when my girlfriend came to pick us up she said she's stopping at the gas station first quote to get angie something to drink this is where i may be the asshole i told her i think it's weird and embarrassing of her to talk about her car like that it's a machine not a pet or a kid and that she should treat it like how a normal person would treat any machine what does that mean she got very quiet and refused to say anything for the rest of their drive home she dropped off my friends and then drove to my apartment i asked her why we weren't going back to hers and she said that she needed some time to think and told me to get out she's been radio silent since then and i'm starting to think i did something wrong am i the asshole for what i said yeah homie needs to get a sense of humor angie it's it's angie let her live i know so many people that name their car and like that's not an abnormal thing no it's just funny it's funny it's goofy silly it's cute like think about people that work in their cars and they're driving their cars all day every day like they're home on wheels like god forbid they want to personalize it a little bit and be like ah old bessie good job today didn't blow a wheel it's like so not that deep and like yeah i think they just don't mesh personality wise at that point because it's like also you need to treat the machine the way you treat it you need to treat the machine the way you treat all machines what does that mean what does that even mean it's like me like i say thank you to my siri yeah i've heard you do that it's funny and it's like you know it's like but like justin's like fuck siri like he just can't get with siri yeah but i'm like mine is so nice like i he helps me find my phone when i lose it 20 times a day sure so i don't know like i think some people just look at things so impersonally or coldly but that energy like you need to treat it like a machine yeah it is what it is that almost gives the same energy as like you're being too nice to your dog it's an animal and i know it's somewhat different right like okay it's a car versus a dog but like lack of empathy for like i know it's a car but like yeah her feelings towards the car at least it's people love their car people don't want to get rid of their cars sometimes like it hurts people to like get rid of their first cars i know and it was a gift like from her parents like it's it's very hard to get rid of their first cars yeah i think like as long as she's not going underneath the car and like having sex with it like i think we're fine yeah because people do do that have you seen that show uh yeah there was a guy that was in love with his little red car it's like a corvette or something or mustang yada i don't even know yeah you go under it and sleep like you'd fuck it oh yeah no i know some people are into that i saw an update on him actually quite recently he's still doing it so that car got in a car accident it's totaled he has a new car so he moved on he has a relationship with that that one so he was just ready to fall in love with whatever car came yeah yeah he likes four wheels on his women hell yeah good for him but like i don't know like let people live as long as they're not hurting anyone i think like i think it just gives him the most part it gives him the ick he didn't know how to handle the fact that he's getting the ick from it yeah and if that person if that is giving you the ick that's just not your person because it's just not that deep. I think it's cute. I don't know. It's not that serious for me. It's like, yeah, whatever. It's not hurting you. You know who Angie is. It's not like you're like, who the fuck is Angie? You know Angie's the car. And you literally like hurt her feelings when she's doing you a favor. Like she was the designated driver and was driving you and your friends all over town. But that's what it was. She said it in front of his friends. That gave him the ick. He was embarrassed by it. And then he confronted. Then he like, he's like, oh, I don't want any part of this Angie business in front of his friends. I'm trying to think of what like boys do that's just like embarrassing. And they just do it all the time. And it's like. I hate when they spit. I can't stand people chewing tobacco. And the little spit bottles. No, they just, they just, they're not even chewing tobacco. They just spit. What is up with that? I don't know. I'm going to think of something. But like, it's just, there's some boys that call their cars names too. Well, that's why I was like, I feel like every boy names their car. Am I wrong? I need. I'm going to text Justin. Be like, does your car have a name? I've never asked him. I feel like, you know, if his car had a name. Like it might have a name, but he doesn't refer to it as its name. I know. I'm going to. Who else has a car? I'm going to text everybody that has a car. Who has a car? Does your car have a name? I will say my car does not have a name. Mine doesn't either. But I'm just like. My old one did. It was Finn. Because it was like baby blue little thing. Oh, cute. Baby blue kind of gave dolphin. And I had a little dolphin plastic. That sat up on top. Was that your first car? No. Okay. Did you name your first car? Well, my first car blew an engine pretty quickly after getting it. So. It didn't have time. We didn't bond. You didn't bond like that. We didn't bond like that. But. Was Finn your second car? Yeah. Okay. No. Finn was my third car. I had a lot. So. I was very poor in high school. So like my first car cost like. I think it was like twelve hundred dollars. And so that's why we literally bought it. And the engine blew. And then I drove my mom's minivan. So it wasn't my car. I couldn't name that. And then I got another car. But this car like it would smoke off oil. Like it had oil leaks. So like it wasn't getting too attached. Because it did start on fire. Because it was kind of smoky. I think I might have called it smoky maybe. So then I got that. And then we got rid of that. Because it broke. And then I drove my mom's like SUV for a while. That thing leaked gas. That thing smelled like gas. But it wasn't mine. So I didn't name that. And then I got Finn finally. Okay. So you named the first car that you actually like. Yeah. Got attached to. I sold one of my horses to buy that car. Because I wanted a car that worked. You couldn't like ride your horses around town like that? No. Oh. That would have been cool. If only. If only. It would have taken me a lot longer to get places. Not in a gallop. You can't ride. It's not like Red Dead. Red whatever. Redemption. Red Dead. Dead Red. You know I don't watch things. It's a game. Oh. It's very popular. They ride horses. No. They don't gallop endlessly in real life. Oh. That would be cool though. And you can't. I don't think you can take a horse on a highway. So that probably wouldn't work either. No. God. No. They can barely walk down the road. When I horse it. Do I have to take your horses on walks? Can I ride them? Okay. No. I wouldn't. That was such a joke. I mean I'll go riding with you. No. I'm. I'll walk them. That's fine. I'll walk them. I'll walk them. I'll walk them. I'll walk them. I'll walk them. I'll walk them. I'll walk them. He's a smarty as a baby. He's a little wild. Oh no. I would never. Back to this one though. And the cars and naming your car. Maybe we'll do a poll on this one and just be like how many of you guys have named your car. And if you haven't named your car, do it the next time you're in them. Like is your car. Does your car have a gender? Like what pronouns does your car prefer? Like what are we feeling? I feel like it's I've had my car for too long to like do that. You know what I mean? If I was going to give your car something though, your car gives like definitely boy. I think my car gives boy. My car is for sure a boy. Your car I feel like would be like Keanu. It's kind of like kind of mysterious. Yeah. I like it. Keanu. Yeah. You think about it though. Maybe we'll just go with that. Okay. Give your car a name. Okay. But look for the poll. I'll try to remember. I'm a little frazzled lately. Um, top comment though, with 33,000 upvotes. Okay. I asked Sasha, since she's my car and would have a better perspective on this. She said, you're the asshole. Wait, that was so good. I love Reddit. Sasha. Sasha. Sasha. Sasha. Also said, cars need gas because they're hungry, not thirsty. She thought it was important for everyone to know. Oh, good. Yes. Wow. I told her about all of the cars, trucks, SUVs, RVs, hybrids, scooters, vans, and a few laptops that responded. And I think it made her blush because she's looking a little more shiny than usual. I think that was an edit. Everyone responded, you are so right. And unfortunately, babies like Sasha and Angie need to be fed with real gas. Formula won't do it. My pickup, Tilly agrees, but she's on a diesel only diet. Merv prefers premium and makes his demands known. I told him he's stuck on regular until he pays for it himself. This is so funny. Everyone's like responding as their car. I'm so glad that's their responses. My entire family names all of our cars Moosey. Moosey is a better friend than some of my human ones. Cars don't talk shit about you. No, they don't. They allow. They allow you to cry in them safely and peace. Favorite part about the car. They don't judge you. No. They drive your ass around to get food like a piece of Texas toast from Raising Cane's. Delicious. I'm getting a piece of toast after this. I'm going to get a piece of toast. Just the toast? Just the toast. What? Butter both sides. I love a car. Yeah. I love a car. Well, I wish that the big three automotive industry wouldn't have fucked us up and the Tucker would have made it. I wish they would have made it into modern day distribution because by this point we'd have cars that run on salt water or some cool shit. Desalinization. Why can't the car run on salt water and desalinize as it goes? I get it. What does desalinize mean? You take the salt out of the water. Desalinization. Oh. Hydrogen cars. Why are we not there yet? I don't know. I don't know. See, I'm pro bus, but like. I love the bus, but we don't have. It's not great. I only will take it down one road. To be fair. But if I could take it everywhere, I would. I used to take the bus every day to work. Really? Yeah. When I was working at UCLA at the hospital there. Really? Loved the bus. It's great. Could just relax. You don't have to do anything too. I could be on my phone. We're talking about being driven around. Chauffeured. Ugh. Chauffeured. And it's a dollar? I know. That's why I love New York and like public transportation cities, London, Paris. They've got a pretty good metro. I wish I could get rid of my car. That'd be. Keanu? Yeah, sorry. God, you just named him? He just got named and I'm like, get him out of here. Jeez, man. Don't do Keanu like that. No, I won't. I'm keeping him. Don't you worry. Okay, cool. So we do get a bit of an update. Update. I can't wait to see what this person has to say. Do you want to bet? Do you want to like take any guesses? I feel like the comments were like roasting them enough that. I don't think they're going to be like, I was wrong. I feel like they're going to double down. There's one more comment I want to read. Okay. Okay. 16K upvotes. Okay. Jeez, you're the asshole. Just let your girlfriend enjoy her relationship with Angie. Are you jealous? Which kind of was giving that. People did. Yeah. People popped off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. The overall vote was asshole. Sure, yeah. Update. Well, she dumped me. Right. She found the post, called me, and told me to never speak to her. Again, I guess it's for the best, though. We really wouldn't have been that compatible, as many of you have said. Mm-hmm. Thank you for your judgments. Okay. I like it. Again, didn't admit that they were wrong. No. But like accepted their fate. Yes. Yes, I appreciate that. No fighting. Just. No fighting. I'm the asshole. Here it is. And I think that's the thing. I think they just weren't compatible. Because they don't have a sense of humor. No. Sorry. And I think, like, you look at a lot of these stories on Reddit, and I know it's hard. Like, it is so hard being in a relationship, growing a friendship with someone, loving them, building a life with them, and then you get to this point where it's like, oh, we're not compatible, but, like, I'm going to fight to make it work. I think. It's tough. Unfortunately, I might be unemployed, but there would be a lot less stories if people just were like, at the end of the day, are we compatible, or are we trying to make it work? Or are we trying to fit a round peg in a square hole? Mm-hmm. Like, you know what I mean? It's tough, though, because it's like, you do like the person. You do care about the person. For sure. And hard to differentiate the two. And relationships also can come with certain sacrifices or changes, but I thought he was going to bump his head on the camera. The dog is doing downward dog pose. He's, like, literally doing yoga under the camera. Don't you move that camera, buddy. So funny. I'm going to, like, I had to get. a picture he was like sniffing it i know and he's stopped with the yoga now which is really sad because it was he always be doing that downward dog too um i don't even remember what i was gonna say um it was compatibility oh just yeah just like think about it more yeah because like yeah you can make sacrifices and compromise and whatever but you shouldn't be like fundamentally changing yourself yeah your sense of humor that's such a silly thing to be like in a fight about that shouldn't be a fight no that's yeah no one did anything wrong so like why are we fighting i know i agree silly and let people live let people live like if it doesn't affect you or obviously have some nuance when i say this but like if it doesn't affect you why do you care like this goes about so many fucking things in life like genuinely people need to stop you impeding on other people's abilities to live and just mind their own fucking business i think it's because people want to have a problem and when they don't have problems they go find a problem get a fucking hobby literally go join like a knitting club or a bingo group or like bingo i'm sorry because it's probably fun i love bingo okay we're just battling today what the hell just fighting just i don't know do something um go read a book i saw the mayor of new york just announced like new yorkers you can read heated rivalry or listen for free to stay out of the snowstorm and i'm like there we go there we go i haven't read a book in like a year or so i'm starting good job i'm literally wearing my heated rivalry shirt i know you're so hockeyed out yeah it's a good show okay no but i get the hockey hype i was like you should have seen me at my first hockey game yeah i didn't realize it was a i was like the lights i was mesmerized it was so cool hockey is amazing i think i just want the hockey culture and community the guys to be nicer be more inclusive because hockey is a really cool sport but we also have professional women's hockey now and if you want to support the gals and also be thoroughly entertained and watch i'm so down for women's hockey there's that too but yeah i think hockey is getting a bit of a a culture wake-up call right now with the heated rivalry success and um i i hope it's for the better me too i'm excited excited to see where it goes hi do you want to say hi come on he said i have to ask my mom for permission first like i'm gonna bark at you did you hear huffing and puffing earlier yeah he didn't like someone out that door he's ready to be protective you know i think this episode is brought to you by cash app i myself have fallen for a scam thought i was getting a really good deal on tickets and bam i sent the money and i didn't get my tickets there's so many common scams these days and finding all the red flags can be hard that is where cash app comes in keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority and cash app treats it that way with security lock cash app requires a successful face id or biometric authentication to access your account it's like your money is protected by your own personal bodyguard even if your phone is lost or stolen plus if you're about to send money to someone new and cash app notices something looks a bit off or that you might be falling for a scam it will send you a warning before the money is sent to confirm that everything looks right download cash app and spend with peace of mind today download cash app today and make your money work for you cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partners visit cash app.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures this episode is brought to you by billy i don't know about you guys but i get a little lazy in the winter i'm in hibernation mode and i grow out my leg hair a little bit but it's getting warmer and now i'm excited for that first shave of the season and if you are then you got to get the billy razor in your life it's designed for how women actually shave legs pits toes happy trail wherever prickles decide to show up it has five sharp blades and a pivoting head so you can actually get everywhere without doing shower gymnastics and it comes with a magnetic holder so your razor stays dry on the wall instead of sitting in a shower puddle grab a billy razor in your favorite color in store or at my billy.com he would be protective of this next one too yeah yeah i i'm not gonna read this one because i just think now that there's a dog in the studio i think it's a little bit too triggering even though it did have a happy ending oh are you sure rover sitter lost my dog i used to rover it does have a happy ending though so well it will it's fine this one i think is better okay this is this is a doozy of one it's coming from r slash relationship advice okay seven years old titled my girlfriend 23 female is threatening to break up with me over a prank that i 24 male pulled on her and her family all right here we go this past weekend was the big camping trip that my girlfriend would be taking with her and her family it would consist of her parents her younger sister her aunt and uncle and her three cousins and it was a big family trip that was being planned for cooler weather my girlfriend told me all about where they would be camping and i decided to go to take advantage of that knowledge i don't like the way that was said i visited my girlfriend's house to say goodbye to her and wish her a fun trip and when they all took off in their cars i got in my car and drove to the campsite that they would be staying at i know the area pretty well and i was able to find a spot to hide my car from view and i was able to navigate the woods and keep an eye on them while remaining hidden from view when it came to nighttime i put on a chewbacca costume and ruffled it up a little to make it look wild and untamed while the family was gathered around the campfire i started to rustle the bushes the family noticed but they didn't think much of it then i started to make growling noises the family was getting noticeably freaked out and then my girlfriend's uncle started to walk towards where i was hiding as soon as he got close enough i just jumped out from behind the bushes and started making roaring noises while running around acting like a bigfoot okay i shook their tent i threw their lawn chairs around and chased after some of the cousins i heard my girlfriend's dad yell get the gun and that's when i knew i had to end the break i took off the costume revealed myself and the entire family was pissed yeah what the fuck would you do that long story short i got yelled at by almost all of her family and the noise attracted the campsite manager who kicked me out after hearing what happened today i heard back from my girlfriend for the first time since the break and she said that she's seriously considering breaking up with me i wouldn't even consider i just ended there done you would you would have left single she just said that she needs some time to think and that she'll let me know when she's made her decision now i'm just left wondering what i do i'm thinking that i need to pull off a major apology and i need some advice on what to say to save this relationship uh you're just gonna have i don't think you can save it but you're just gonna have to be like i'm stupid i don't know why i don't know what that was what was my brain thinking you were shaking their tents throwing their chairs around like you created such chaos that they're like they're running around to get like a hunting rifle like thinking this is like genuinely bigfoot or something or just some creep and it was just some creep see i believe in bigfoot so this would have really freaked me out i would have pissed my pants i would have like some animal or something you don't know i mean chewbacca like if if you're like sitting around a campfire in the dark your eyes are not adjusted very well like something comes at you you're already on edge too and he ruffled it up yeah you're on edge like no this is like fight or flight man and i'm it's not gonna go well also like who was laughing were you laughing when you were doing this it couldn't have been that funny no he's screaming like a bear yeah you're stupid you filmed it like what was the point of it it's so dumb i don't know if you can save this no i think the only way you could is like you go over to her her family's house and apologize to everyone like like genuinely genuinely like i'm so sorry you guys i thought this would be a funny bigfoot prank and i realized i took it a little too far and i think you should do that regardless yeah even if she does still yeah it's probably the right thing to do jeez i'm just like i just don't understand where the idea came from don't know so like seven years ago was tiktok even around then they met the parents yet also like did you know these people or was this your first impression i mean he went over to the girlfriend's house to say goodbye and wish her fun and then like so he saw them all there like it sounds like sounds like he knows the family a bit i don't know still weird super weird um top comment says frankly you are lucky you're not dead truly consider yourself lucky if all she does is break up with you oh my gosh this would be one of those things where you like you're trying to go to sleep and then you have the thought of like why did i do this like for the rest of your life it's gonna be an embarrassing nighttime thought someone else comments that's pretty bad but at least you didn't pretend not to know what a potato is and that was another story okay i don't know if we've read the potato one on here i've seen it did we read the potato one we have read one story about a potato am i the asshole for taking potatoes off of a guy's plate at a wedding i don't know if we have read the potato one the potato story we did have one about shit fisting a potato on patreon all right well that's intense that was uh june of 2023's full bonus episode lovely don't remember what it's about proceed with caution i apparently read it right after i read the jolly rancher story so um oh i i don't think i remember the first jolly rancher i don't think you're gonna want to read that one oh it's in line i mean i'm sure it is in line with the jolly rancher story yeah so i don't know if we've read the potato one but maybe we'll you guys want it let me know it's a funny one this guy basically just like pretends like he's never had a potato doesn't know what it is and he's doing it at dinner with his girlfriend's parents and it's like yeah it's a bit okay cool funny bit like what so yeah don't uh don't pretend that you don't know what a potato is or don't pretend to be bigfoot either don't pretend to be bigfoot but he did and we do get an update perfect i'm honestly really embarrassed and humiliated about not even posting it but i feel the need to vent and express my frustrations on some way so here it is i really hope you don't think too badly of me and you understand what i'm going through after last night it's too late homie last night my girlfriend's family was holding a barbecue in their backyard and my girlfriend was able to talk her dad into inviting me he was originally against the idea of me coming but he was willing to let me come so long as the first thing i do is offer a genuine apology for the prank and i'm not going to do that again i'm not going to do that again that i pulled on all of them shouldn't you have done that like before whatever op my guy is it like genuine though if you're being forced to do it to get the invite that's debatable i arrived in their backyard and everyone that i pranked at the campsite was sitting at a table and they were all clearly waiting for me to arrive i sat down next to my girlfriend and i began my apology i stated that my prank was ill-timed immature and thoughtless and i apologized for ruining their camping trip that they had apparently been planning for some time i tried to make it as genuine and sincere as possible and when i was done i waited for some type of response there was a really long awkward silence as the whole family just stared at me then the uncle whispered something in the dad's ear and they both burst out laughing but i couldn't make out what he said the dad then said he didn't accept my apology and then he told me to leave he planned that my initial response was a very loud what the fuck and that made things worse well yeah my girlfriend's dad kept telling me to leave and i lost my temper i swiped an empty plastic cup off of the table and said to the family fine fuck all of you while flipping them off with both middle fingers as i was leaving the backyard my girlfriend caught up to me and said that she was breaking up with me and i said to her i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry she said that i was too immature and impulsive and she said that she wants me to leave her and her family alone i tried apologizing to her profusely it's too late i kept saying babe i'm sorry just give me another chance and i promise i'll be good i promise i kept saying this over and over but she said that she's given me millions of chances and that she can't fix me she then walked off and i did something that made things even worse i yelled at her calling her a bitch and then i started kicking and punching their wooden fence that separates their front and backyard i knocked down a part of the fence and then i left all of that happened last night and i feel like shit part of me wants to just give up on her and move on you should but i also want to prove to her that i'm capable of changing i want to promise her no more pranks along with trying to control my temper what do you think i should do except that she broke up with you and be better for your future partner second update no long story short i got in a fight with my girlfriend and her family last night she's now my ex-girlfriend and i lashed out and broke down part of their wooden fence that separates their back and front yard her father hasn't contacted me about it but i'm worried he's going to come after me eventually what kind of trouble can i get in this was posted in r slash legal advice i don't i mean i have no idea something sued for damages yeah easily that's a small claims court kind of thing which fences are expensive i i believe that they are shockingly expensive but considering what all he's done they and they probably will do something about it oh yeah man at first i was gonna be like because it does sound like the family planned the like they were never gonna accept the apology no so at first i was like damn kind of feel i have some into everything if he had just like accepted the defeat and been like dang i don't know what to do about this i would have felt so differently but like you just like escalated it way further than it needed to be so much further like that could have been another test that could have been not that you should test people not that you should test people but that could have been like yeah we don't accept your apology please leave and then if you quietly got up to leave and then dad was like just kidding buddy come here like i could have seen it go like that not necessarily right just said we accept well but maybe you don't have to accept someone's apology and that's true and that's just life maybe they genuinely didn't maybe it was actually a shitty apology and that that's true because we're also hearing it from his perspective and he doesn't sound like the most reliable no and so maybe they just don't fuck with him anymore and they probably don't yeah and he just proved on his way out why you're immature impulsive hot-headed you're 24 going on 12 you need to grow the fuck up and go to anger management no seriously on your executive functioning because it is seriously lacking you can't go and punch and break down a fence because you didn't get what you wanted can you imagine how embarrassing you look it just keeps getting more and more embarrassing and hit a wooden fence bro you look pathetic because they didn't accept your apology give me another chance babe i love you as you're beating the fence up right the fact that she even like that feels safe almost gave you another chance i guess she was giving him another chance yeah and you everything you did was your own choice like you did this to yourself like you have no one to be upset with but you and we just keep on going there's more there's more you gotta stop while you're ahead i know people gotta learn to stop they don't they never do third update i'd rather not go into detail on this post but the reason for the breakup is on my profile and can be read there on another post simply put i can't stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend i can barely eat sleep or do anything that used to make me happy last night i watched my first ever hockey game and was excited about that a few months ago but now i don't even care i spent the whole game thinking about my ex and how she broke up with me she's all i think about right now and i feel like putting in one last time and i'm not gonna do it again effort in making her see that i'm a better man no you're not should i say to her you haven't done any of the work yet what can i do to get her to come back to me fourth update for those who may or may not know my girlfriend broke up with me because i pranked her and her family by dressing up as bigfoot and ruining their camping trip but i think that since some time has passed my girlfriend might be of a cooler head and i was thinking of trying to win her back in a clever little way that involves the bigfoot theme oh no my idea is to dress up as bigfoot again but not to scare anyone i'm going to dress up go into her backyard with an old stereo or cd player that still works and play sorry by buck cherry i'll play it loud enough for her to hear and i'm hoping she'll accept it and see it as a cute apology can we do that without dressing up as bigfoot like why do we need to dress up and maybe in the front yard where you don't have to break yeah the wooden fence you that you destroyed he doesn't break he doesn't have to break past anything because he already broke it down i know it sounds a little cliche but i think it's cliche the whole stereo outside the window thing but i'm hoping that the bigfoot costume might be a new little twist on it and it'll be my way of apologizing for the bigfoot prank what do you think don't do that you're gonna get arrested for trespassing fifth update after reading through some of the responses from yesterday i decided to just go for it and get it over with there's no way people were telling him yeah man that's the move i'm literally gonna go look at what the comments are just to be like who yeah who said that who encouraged this i mean it's coming from relationship advice maybe they didn't read the original post like they have no idea how like messed up i don't know things were top comment one does not apologize for dressing up as bigfoot by dressing up as bigfoot yeah who's telling you to do this don't do it no one told him to do this i don't know who told him to do this i don't know who told him to do this people go honestly i really think that you need to move on and leave her be it's as simple as that next comment jesus christ you're an idiot next comment leave her alone next comment all caps leave her alone you're right guys i'm just gonna get it over with and go do it someone here is clearly kidding and they go the only way to apologize for dressing up as bigfoot is to dress up as littlefoot oh there are some awesome dinosaur costumes this year it's good no one said go dress up as bigfoot and do this that's so funny but clearly we have some but clearly it happened update number five after reading through some of the responses from yesterday i decided to just go for it and get it over with i dressed up in the ruffled up chewbacca costume grabbed the stereo and walked over to my girlfriend's house at night time we live in the same neighborhood and there's a shortcut through a little stretch of woods that i take from my place of work and i'm like oh my god i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired and that's the route i took last night i'm going back into the woods with the costume i climbed into their backyard and i stood in their grass holding up the stereo while playing the song that i had intended sorry by buck cherry the problem is that the stereo was an old piece of shit that i dug up from my basement and the volume wasn't loud at all it sounded muffled and i didn't want to risk moving closer to their house in case i was seen but i wanted something to do with it so i went to their house and i went to their house and i went to their something to come from the night and i sat down the stereo and peered into the window that i knew led to my girlfriend's room my girlfriend was just playing with her phone on her bed and i just stared into her room for a little while i guess i was caught up in staring at her since i hadn't seen her in a few weeks and i didn't realize that i've been staring in there for a long time i turned to leave but i saw one of her neighbors out on their porch looking directly at me and they were on their phone well yeah my first thought was that they were probably calling the police and i panicked i did something really stupid and i tried to go in my girlfriend's house by pulling at their back green door but her mom saw me trying to get in and she screamed he keeps getting worse and worse i then ran back towards the woods and i tried to pick up the stereo but i really hurt my back while bending over so i just left it in their backyard the back pain was shooting down my left leg and i had to limp away from the house is this real and i limped through the woods back to my house while also cussing at myself over how fucked up my plan was the worst part is that this morning my girlfriend called me and left a message on my phone i can't wait to hear what she had to say she said that she knows it was me at her house and that she's only given me one final warning before she talked to me about harassment charges as well as a restraining order she said that she's never getting back together with me and she told me to move on now i'm really depressed which is how i've been feeling in the past few weeks i'm physically hurt from my back and leg pain and i'm emotionally hurting from my girlfriend's words i'm just really upset and pissed off what should i do i think he should not go out in public for a couple months stop just stop stay home don't don't interact with anyone for a while that costume that bigfoot outfit throw it away throw it away i mean um it doesn't end here though unfortunately for all of us so we do get like another post a sixth i cannot say this word a sixth update this is again going back to legal advice for this post and help for breaking the law my ex-girlfriend left me a message on my phone threatening me with a restraining order it's just a threat at this point but i still want to know what happens to my record if she were to file one against me will it give me a criminal record and officially list me as a stalker is it something that appears in a background check i just want to know how this will affect me like getting a job or something like that would this affect me nationally or just in my hometown of denver colorado if you are dating in denver watch out watch out maybe just like don't see her again and then there will be no more threat of a restraining order she's giving you so many fucking chances yeah and you just keep going he back and like bad decision after bad decision after bad decision he is giving stalker energy you are a stalker you just walked through the woods in a bigfoot costume and stared at her through her window yeah i know that's not like it's not like his like intention intention but it's like turning into that do stalkers not realize how bad stalking is like i want a psychologist to chime in like are people genuinely this clueless about boundaries and just how their actions appear to others you'd think he would find himself creepy but this is this is a serious level of delusion yeah update number seven i won't go into detail but i left a stereo of mine at my ex-girlfriend's house and this morning i got a text from her dad it was a picture of the completely destroyed stereo next to a baseball bat and the message read quote that's your head if you ever come near my house again i want to know if i can actually take action against him for this he destroyed my stereo and threatened to bash my head in with a baseball bat what actions can i take this is all taking place in denver colorado thank you again that's legal advice update number eight i've spent the past few weeks thinking about how i can possibly get back together with my ex-girlfriend i've decided to just move on she doesn't ever want me back and i've caused enough trouble with her family as a whole i need to get over her and i don't know how my older brother has a wedding in a few days and it being a romantic occasion is really going to mess with me emotionally especially since me and my ex were planning on attending together it hurt even more to see that my ex was selling her dress and posting about it on facebook i can't get over the memories and all the time we've spent together and it hurts knowing that i lost her because of my immaturity and stupidity how do i get over this she's literally the only thing on my mind and it has to end help me out please maybe it's starting to click maybe it's starting to click slightly slightly i mean here's but also there's nothing you can do this is just what it feels like to go through a breakup i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know it sucks like breakups suck yeah you gotta heal go to therapy i think therapy like i i think it's scary because obviously this is not a one-off right like this does happen in real life people are killed by romantic partners so if you are feeling like this and you're like i just can't get over this person i can't move on you need to start talking to a professional because you do need to move on it's not healthy it's not healthy it's not healthy it's not healthy it's not healthy it's not fair it's not safe to either of you like it's just not right and it's not easy it does suck moving on from someone you love and care about but you got to move on you just have to it's just how life is so get help because it's just not it's not right no and if you don't know how to deal with it it can be hard it can be jarring but you have to yeah you just you do we're not done there's no way ninth update i know that most people have seen my previous posts on here and the issues with my ex-girlfriend and her father he already threatened me violently as of last night and he's called the cops on me and now i'm awaiting a court date here in denver last night was obviously halloween and while i don't normally trick or treat at my age i ended up taking my little cousin around the neighborhood while my parents and hers were at a halloween party don't tell me he dressed up i also figured that i would wear my chewbox a costume since i wanted to dress up and i didn't have any other last minute costumes we walked around our neighborhood for a little while and we ended up on the same block as my ex-girlfriend's house i knew it was only and inevitable that we would cross her house but i honestly wasn't worried about it you did this on purpose i figured that her dad may not even be out to see us and all i'm doing is trick-or-treating and that's what a stalker would say we ended up walking by her house and of course both of her parents were sitting by their garage with a bowl of candy to hand out i tried to grab my cousin and make for the opposite direction but it was too late I heard my ex's dad yell quote I see you and he clearly recognized me. I just grabbed my cousin and we made our way back to my house without looking back at my ex's. We got home but almost an hour later the cops arrived and they told me that my ex's dad wants to press charges on me for stalking and harassment. I'm currently awaiting a court date and I think this is all bullshit. I didn't have any premeditated plans to go near their house. Yes you did. Nor did I have any intent with their property. I was simply trick-or-treating with my cousin and we just happened to come across their home. The dad simply acts as if he's the king of the block and he can dictate who walks in the area. What can I do to prepare for my court case? What arguments can I make? I wasn't stalking the house last night and I wasn't planning on doing anything. I simply walked by it while trick-or-treating and the dad threw a fit. What can I do? That is delusion. I simply walked by it while trick-or-treating. I wasn't stalking. But I also wore the same costume that's gotten me in trouble with them every time. Throw it away. Yeah please get rid of it. Donate it. Donate it because we don't want to be wasteful. Sure sure. But what are you doing? Like you knew what you were doing. You may not like you're telling yourself this but you know you had other intentions. Be so for real. Be so for real. Last final update. Bless. He has a restraining order again so I already know. It's been a little over a month since my girlfriend broke up with me over a prank that was, admittedly, my fault. It was dumb, an immature move on my part, and I've accepted the consequences. That being said, I'm now in serious legal trouble over what happened a couple of nights ago on Halloween. I ended up walking by her house while taking my cousin trick-or-treating and her dad saw me. He's now pressing charges for harassment and stalking and I'm awaiting my court date. Last night my ex texted me and she was clearly drunk. A lot of her texts were either gibberish or in poor grammar but I could make out what she was communicating. Basically, she was celebrating me having charges pressed against me and she was texting me stuff like, quote, I hope you rot in jail and, quote, this is all caps, lock him up. I responded with texts of my own. I called her names like the c-word and bitch but she obviously didn't seem phased. But simply sending her some mean texts isn't enough for me. I honestly think that she has some nerve to kick me while I'm down while all she has to do is just stay on the sidelines while daddy does all of the work. I've spent all day thinking about how I can get back at her over this. Part of me thinks that I should just wait until I'm done going to court but I also want to strike back while the event is still fresh. So dumb. He's so dumb. I'm thinking of one final prank. What should I do? All right, this guy's a lost cause. I don't know what to do for him. Lock him up. I agree with her. Lock him up. Lock him up. How do I get my revenge as I'm about to be, as I'm getting charges pressed against me? Charges that are absolutely dignified and should be pressed and. And I like, but I like that he's circled back to a prank. Like all this became from a prank and now he's like, oh, I know what I can do. Another prank. And I thought, I thought I was, I like, I read most of these updates. I was very hopeful by the end. Yeah, it was my fault. Admittedly my fault. It was dumb and immature move. No, he's, he's not well. And then the last line, but hey, still a happy ending in my book because she got out. For sure. Charges have been filed. They're getting pressed and I'm hoping we don't have another update because he's in jail. Well, I would like an update. In Denver. I would like an update. Colorado. I'm going to get a fucking letter from jail. I don't know. I see you on that Reddit podcast. I don't know if that's the craziest thing to come out of Denver, but that's okay. No, I don't know. What, what is Denver? What have they done lately? I think, I think everyone that lives there is just like a little weird. Yeah. Like in a good way. Like in a good way. Yeah. No, I love Denver. Some of my best friends live there and they are. Okay. Are they a little weird? Everyone's a little weird. Would they all dress up in a. They would not do this. No, no, no. But, um. I would actually like though a conclusion. An exclusive update of that. Yeah. Just to know like. Are we good? Yeah. Is she good? Is she good? Are you out there? I don't want to hear from him. I don't give a fuck about him anymore. Just if you're out there. I bet her side of the story is also like even crazier. Oh. Well, because even on that second update when he went to the barbecue to apologize, she had said to him, I've given you a million chances. Yeah. What else did he do? What else did he do? I'd like to know. Um, okay. That is all for the stories. We are ending on this. story. It's actually coming from a comment. And I've read this in the past, but I think with everything going on, I just like really want to end on this like super positive note and just like for people that like just feels lost in the sauce of what's going on right now, that there is like a lot of positivity and hope in humanity. So this is coming from an Ask Reddit that's 15 years old. Again, some of you are going to remember this story. It was a person posting, have you ever picked up a hitchhiker? And the top comment has since gone ultimate Reddit Hall of Fame viral. It is just cemented. It's coming from a user that it's R-H-O-N-E-R. I would assume it's Roaner. Just about every time I see someone, I stop. I kind of got out of the habit the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that. My girlfriend. And wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I'm back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is a long story that has almost nothing to do with hitchhiking other than happening on the road. This past year, I have had three instances of car trouble, a blowout on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses, and an out of gas situation. All of them while driving other people's cars, which for some reason makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well. What with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car and know enough not to park facing downhill on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel. Anyways, each of these times this shit happened, I was disgusted with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow by me, just waiting for AAA to show. The four gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me they couldn't loan them out for my safety, but I could buy a really shitty one-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough each time to make you say shit like, quote, this country is going to hell in a handbasket. But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language, but one of those dudes had a profound effect on me. He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blowout with his whole family of six in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to four hours, big Jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said, need a jack, and I offered money. No hitch out of there. A van pulls over, and a dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter, who speaks English. He conveys through her that he has a jack, but it is too small for the Jeep, so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I started taking the wheel off, and if you can believe it, it broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones, and I wasn't careful, and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck. No worries. He runs to the van, gives it to his wife, and she's gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She's back in 15 minutes. We finish the job with a log was starting to give, and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand, but he wouldn't take it, so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that, they're going to pick cherries and then go back home. She asks if I've had lunch, and when I told her no, she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I've ever had. So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow. But we aren't done yet. I thanked them again and walked back to my car and opened the door. I open the foil on the tamale because I'm starving at this point, and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill. I whirl around and run up to the van, and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand, and just shaking his head no, like he won't take it. All I can think to say is, por favor, por favor, por favor, with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head, and with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English. Quote, today you, tomorrow me. He rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rearview mirror. I sat in my car, eating the best fucking tamale of all time. And I just. I just cried, like a little girl. It's been a rough year, and nothing has broke my way. This was sort of left field, I just couldn't deal. In the five months since, I've changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations, and once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money every time I tell them the same thing when we are through. Today you, tomorrow me. Oh, I hear the tears. I know. I'm. I'm. I really tried to keep it together this time. No, you did really good. You did really good. Um, I think I read that the first time, and I, I don't know how I got through it. Just a reminder. Yeah, I was like, I don't even know what to say. That's just. Just a reminder, first of all. Again, just like, go out and do something good. Call your senators. Call your representatives. There are so many bills that are going through right now that need attention. There is a bill that is going to give ICE more funding. Um, funding where they will get almost a billion dollars for bonuses. What the fuck? It's $42,000 for every ICE employee as a bonus. I know it seems futile and like, like it doesn't matter, but it really does. And there's so many ways to get involved. There's another bill that is rolling back protections of protected waters in Minnesota. And it's so. A Chilean company can come in and mine our minerals and send it to China for processing. There's no clean, safe way to harvest that. It will pollute our water sources. Oh, for sure. It's another bill that is going to the Senate right now. So like, call your representatives. Get involved. On that note, January has some amazing bonus content on Patreon. Head over there. I'm going to get back to the free stories. So come join us. But other than that, oof. Oof, oof. But also what a great update episode. It was really good. Really good. I hope you guys enjoyed. And again, sorry for getting back on the soapbox. No, no, we need it. We need it. We do need it. So stay safe. Thank you all for being here. And until next time. Bye. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. Bye, guys. We're back for a brand new season. We play medical doctors who are besties. Just like in real life. And we'll definitely be up in each other's cases. Scrubs premieres Wednesday on ABC. And stream the next day on Hulu. Side effects may include laughing, cheering, and lots of high fives. Hello, Superman. This episode is brought to you by TXU Energy. For the first time ever, Texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year with daytime summer savings. It's called Free Nights and Cool Summer. You get free nights every night all year long. Plus, a 25% bonus toward your daytime use all summer. It's a first-of-its-kind plan created for how Texans actually use energy. Discover how much more you could save with Free Nights and Cool Summer. TXU Energy. Energy for everything. Visit TXU.com for more information. Rep number 10004.