Halloween with Jim Florentine, Rachel Feinstein & Ian Fidance | We Might Be Drunk

(upbeat music) - Happy Halloween. - Hey, hey, I'm already eating candy. - This is a nice set of Peter's, did it again? - Look at this, come on. - We got a special guest, Jim Florentine. - Hey, Jim Bo. - I didn't get a helmet or anything, but you got one right there. - What do you think of it? - All right, you're the black knight. - I didn't know if I-- - That's Agamemnon, did you like black chicks? Holy shit, how's that? - That's pretty good. I keep that on then, yeah. - You look like a real man. - I never, I never get dressed up for Halloween either, but I was like, no, I'm gonna do it, whatever. - Yeah, it's fun. - I haven't done it since like '96, it was the last time. - Really? - Yeah. - What were you, OJ? - OJ, yeah, really? - Yeah, bloody OJ, I'd blood all of my shirt and put the call on the back, went to a party, and I had the OJ mask on too. So nobody at the biz two years after her murder is nobody wanted any part of me. Sat in the party by myself and drank in the corner, which is great. - That's what I never got, like if you dress as Hitler for Halloween, people freak out. But I'm like, who's scared of the Hitler? - Yeah. - But they're like, what are you associated with Hitler? - Thomas is other shit going on with the Jews right now. - Ah, okay. - 'Cause other people marching against us. - What about Cosby? Who's scared of the Cosby works? - All right. - 'Cause that's, and if you don't do the black face, it works. - Right, right. - The sweater. - Sweater. - Sweater. - Pop, codec. - Lindsay Clancy, that's probably gonna be a Cosby. - No, that's gonna be big. - But you can wear a mask, a Bill Cosby mask, right? If you're a white or not. - No, I think. - I think, I think it's, if you put it on, do I feel comfortable with this? I think I'd be comfortable with it. - Yeah, yeah. There you go, look at that. They already got masks out there. You gotta have a cocktail and a sweater. Oh, he's got the drugs around his neck. That's good stuff. - That's right. - It's funny how black face trumps rapist in Halloween. - 'Cause you're actually doing black face. - Right, yeah. - If you're raping, no one's gonna mention the black face. - Ah, good point. - If you get arrested for raping a woman, you're off the hook with the black face. - That's a good point. - It's worse. - Yeah. All right, but if you wear a skeleton, no one's like, oh, what are you actually a skeleton? Whatever you're wearing, a Nazi, people go, what are you a Nazi? You see what I'm saying? - Yeah, I don't think. - Nazi is a weird, it's a weird one. - It's a weird one, 'cause it's real. - Well, ice is bad too, I think. - Oh, it's ice either. - Good point. - I'm sure people are doing it. - Yeah. Oh, that's the way to go. - You think it could be that ice? - Yeah. No, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta sell it. You gotta wear the real ice jacket and stuff. - Not a bag ice. - When you took your kid trick or treating back in the day, did you dress up with him or no? - No, I think I just put like a football jersey on. I said, I'm going as a football player. There's one word on the parents and stuff like that. So I had to do something, but. - Yeah, every year I would wait till the last minute and then have to throw something on it. I'd be like, I'm a hobo. I'm a pirate. I had like a sock over my eye. - Is that a bee or an M in that? - Hobo. - Hobo, oh okay. - Hobo is easy. I can just walk outside. - We're dressed as almost right now. - Yeah. - No, this is what you look like three of 'em. - We do. - And the haters. - Yeah, we're throwing some goggles on Michael Phelps. Easy. - There you go. - Easy. - Remember the buff guy in school who would always just be a baby? You know, he would do a bow tie, be a chippendale guy or he'd do wear a diaper and no shirt. - That's the male version of the slut. - Exactly. Easy Shane. Careful. (laughing) - It's tied down, hasn't it? - Yeah, I think so. - People just want to be pissed about something. - Yeah, meanwhile, he didn't lose one fan. He probably gained some. Any of you think any of those fans that were at that financial field, 78,000, we go, I can't go see him anymore. That's the one he just said. - Right. - Anybody, yeah. - There were more men at three, six mafia was opening. - I was too. (laughing) What is that? - That was a weird closing. - Yeah, they're fulfilling, I guess. - And it's fun, I feel. - It's fun. - Yeah. - What do they want? Do they want to like, Gavin McGraw or something? - Yeah, I guess so. - We could add the Hooters, Cinderella. - Oh, you're going to school. - Oh yeah, they're from Philly. - You are? - No, they are. - Oh man, they're from Jersey. - Yeah, like Central. - Nice. - Not Joe Maderee's territory, Joe's. - Well, someone's coming in too. - Uh-oh, happy Halloween, everybody. Hey, look at these guys. - And the party without pizza. - Hey, pizza pie! - Bobby Lee, nice to meet you. (laughing) - Thank you, Jamo. - Sam, how are you? - How are you? - How are you? - I'm looking good. - You got there. - I'm a signature, our signature pie will be here. - Okay. - This is our pepperoni square pizza. - Whoa! - Jesus Christ. - Look at the amount of peps on that thing. - Oh, please enjoy them. - Oh, man. - So much, guys. - We'll be eating the hell out of you. - Thank you guys, yeah. - Thank you guys. - Thanks everybody, thank you. - Get lost in the sauce. - So you're in the burbs out there. - Yeah. - Whoa. - You can say you're going to do some real trick of treating. - My kid doesn't do it. They don't do it anymore. - How old? - He's 16. - He ain't cool anymore. I was told about 14. - So he's off on, like, Teepee and Houses' egging at this point. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where he's supposed to be at six. - Exactly. - You know what's crazy? Jim, I think the first comic I ever opened for. - Whoa! - I think that week in a comics, like in 2010 or 11. - Yeah, when that-- - Wow. - It was you, me and Don Jameson. I was like, this is like the deepest voice line of the whole time. But Jim was so fucking cool to me. - Yeah. - It's like, you're like nervous. It's like, you know, I remember that, you know, the guy came back at the end of the weekend like I used to run the bunny house or whatever. - In Vegas? - Yeah. - Oh, shit. - Shit, I forget his name. But yeah, he went up Dian. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Really? - Yeah, but he always invited us out there. (laughing) - Yeah. - Right, he always said, if you want to ever come out, it's like two hours outside of Vegas. - Did you ever go? - No, I never did. I'm like, I don't know, it just-- - The bunny ranch was legendary. There it is. - Yes, half. - Yeah, then it's half, yeah. Yeah, he was like a big deal, man. - Now, can you do this any more of those days over? - No, it's still there. - It's still there? - Yeah. - Wow. - But I don't know, do you want to really want-- I mean, aren't you on camera, too, isn't that weird? - I don't know. - It was a show. - No, that was a reality show. But this, you can go in there privately, too. But I don't know, do you want to pick one out? She's just going to lay there and she just had four dudes before. - Ah, let me call Norton. (laughing) - Here, Dianne, he's been there. - Wow, that's crazy. Ha, you think with a guy like that who's living his dream would live forever. He's getting laid on the reg. That does not look like a guy who's going to live forever. - That's true. But I just figured, hey, this guy, he made it. He's getting laid all the time. - He's hanging out with. - Ron Jeremy. - Ron Jeremy, yeah. She's like a nice upstairs. I think he tried to get him politics right before he died. - Oh, that's what we need. - Yeah, I know. This guy's got street cred, yeah. He kind of does though. If you're like a libertarian, you're like-- - Right. - You're like, yeah, this guy doesn't give a shit. - That's true. - But I don't know. - I love to get the celebrity list with people who've been on that ranch. - Yeah, dude. When you're doing cranky acres back in the day, did people ever get pissed about that at you? - Yeah, cranky acres. - Yeah. Yeah. It came back in like 2018, '19, and they wouldn't let special-led come back Comedy Central. - That was a big one. - That was you guy. - Oh, that was the big one. - Yeah, I said that it was times of changed. - Right. - And I go, listen man, people are going to be pissed. Like, nah, it'll be fine. And then when the show came back, and the poster came out, he wasn't in it. Everyone's like, fuck, fuck, Comedy Central. Fuck you guys, not bringing special-led back. And they're like, man, I can't believe DeHeeda. I told you, what are you guys worried about? It's a cartoon, you know what I mean? It's a puppet. - Right. - It's not real, just like South Park, they get away with shit. - Oh, good point. - But Jimmy, it's Jimmy Kimmel's show, Jimmy and Adam Corolla. So Jimmy's in Hollywood, so he can't, you know. - Right. - The rights always going after him. So all of a sudden he's back in 2019, 20, you know, and he's producing a show with a retarded puppet on it. - Right. - You know, so they were gonna nail him on that. - That's true. - So it hurt me that Jimmy was in Hollywood. You know that he couldn't do it, but. - Did you, did you find it? 'Cause you did a voice on there, and it's not your face. But did people still find out it was you and come out to see you? - Yeah. - Oh, that's good. - Well, what happened was the improv. There was a picture of, like, we did the premiere. There was a picture of me with the puppet, and it was online, so all the improvs and funnybombs took that picture and put it outside the venue. You know, the problem was kids were showing up. - Oh! - They were bringing their kids. - We tried the same thing. (laughing) - They thought it was a puppet show. - Yeah. - So I'm selling out these shows and there's kids, and that's two minutes in, I'm opening up like, doing a homeless bit, like, where's the puppet? Like, does there's no puppet? - Oh my god. - There's no puppet. - That is amazing. - Yeah, people complaining, like, you know, returning tickets ago. We thought it was gonna be a puppet show for kids. - Whoa. - Yeah. - Well, did you ever have people go, I don't put that out. I can't believe people signed those releases on those prank calls. - Yeah, some people did, they'd have to call them back and say, hey, listen, you're gonna be on Comedy Central and crank anchors. But then what they would do is, like, no, absolutely not, and then they would tell their friends to stupid show crank anchors called, like, oh, you're gonna be a puppet on that show. You should go on, they're like, okay, we'll sign. So most people, like, 80% would sign. - Oh, okay. Hey, the princess is here. - But meanwhile, these kids pull pranks on YouTube all day, and all that stuff, they don't get Instagram, no releases, no nothing, they show to face, they don't blur 'em, they don't do all that out of it. - Oh, did you see the crazy shit you see on Instagram? No, see what we're just walking up to with the camera? They're like, are you that fucking pedophile and the guys like, no, they're just beating the shit out of them? Like, what if that guy's not a pedophile? - I know, these pedophile hunters are running rampant. What happened to Milfunner? I miss that guy. - Milfunner, those were better, simpler times. - Better times than the Milf wanted to get caught, it seemed. - Yeah, simpler time. - From the videos I saw. - Hey, I know you talked about it a lot on pause, but can we ask you about the story about your ex-wife? - Oh, yeah. 'Cause it's a good story, yeah, yeah. - I don't know the story. - You don't know? - Play it on me, Fanny. - Nah, I just say, you know, we're married and I call my wife Cheating on me, you know. I hired a private investigator 'cause she wasn't being honest. - Oh really? - Yeah. How were you first suspicious of it? You know, you can feel stuff going on and then, you know, she goes to get gas and she's gone for an hour. Yeah, I know. Damn, she got a guy in the neighborhood. Someone around. Yeah. Oh, Bobby Kelly. You're a gym guy. Not a gym guy. Classic. He was, she met him at the gym. Yeah. Damn. Rachel everybody. Rachel knows my story. Remember when you used to move around the furniture where you were trying to get pus on the road? What? You know what I'm talking about? Well, yeah, we, you know, let's go to this store and just stay in place for a ton of time. Yeah, no, this, I remember Rachel and Amy Schumer actually sent me flowers to like a club in Dallas when I got the board, when all the shit went down. Oh, I remember that. I do remember that. Yeah, there was some flowers waiting like, and I'm like, I had some psycho in Dallas and it was like from Rachel and Amy, sorry, you know, to work out and all that shit, so that was nice for you guys. So how, so how were you first suspicious though in this situation? Just from, you know, it may be a missing for a while, half hour here an hour, you know, the store, you gone for two hours, all that, and like, do you like notice a smell or anything or are you just, no, no, nothing like that. And then I just, you know, confronted her and she's like, there's nothing going on. I go, just tell me maybe we could work it out. If it was like a one night stand and she was drunk, you could, you could have, you could have, yeah. Yeah. I'm like, all right. What are you going to do? As long as the guy wasn't bigger than me. Yeah. Wasn't what he looked like. No, he's big. Yeah. All the way. I'm friends with him now. What? What? Yeah. She went on marrying him and that we're friends. We're just hanging out the other day. Is it better that she ended up marrying him? It would have been better if it was just like a fling. Probably better that she married and my guess. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Huh? Something there. It wasn't. Well, I mean, I think, I think like the beginning. It's probably more acutely paid for, but then later on if he's a solid guy, you're like, yeah. And then by that time he realized he was not a great guy. Well, he was a great guy. Well, he was super young. I know. He was super young. He didn't really know what was going on. Yeah. She was given him a different story of our marriage and stuff. So he's like some kid at 22 years old. Yeah. He's dealing with her day to day. Yeah. I know. I know. No. Yeah. That is funny that you come out the winner then. Yeah. And he's a good dude. So my kids there half the time. They got another kid. So my son's got a brother. Oh, my brother. So I worked out. I don't know if he married as well. And they even have three siblings. That would be a good, that would be a good Netflix documentary. If I could pull that off because I can't get on there with my comedy. It's like the Charlie Brady bunch. I like it. Yeah. So he was married as well. No, no. He was a married now at the time. But he won a marry in her. Damn. Wow. This is crazy. This is the Suburban ship. What kind of PI? What kind of PI do you hire? Suburban ship. Like, where do you find to be? Like, do you just Google PI? Or do you do? Why am I body clubs out of Kenny? Do you use Kenny? Well, Kenny. But Kenny knew it. He's getting funnier PI. Hi, everybody. I don't have boys, please. Please. Everyone could see him. Yeah, he's six foot eight. You don't know if Kenny was Andrew Dice. Clay's security, Norton's security, Schumer's security. Now I think he's Bill Burr. Bill Burr. Yeah. I love Kenny so much. But I remember one time I had a stalker. And I called him. I'm like, hey, can you try to help me uphold this restraining order against this like schizophrenic forming lunatic? And you would just call me every day and be like, relax. But everything's going to be okay. You safe. I'm here. I'm like, Kenny, just handle the restraining order. Right. Right. You'd be like, relax. He goes, she's a woman also. So how much could you really do? Oh, you had a lady. Oh, you had a lady. Bro, you had a lady. Oh, dude, you should have heard the voicemail from this lady. Really? They were entertaining. Give me a few bars. Well, she would call these clubs and complain that I smelled. What? She would call it like clubs and be like, oh, we were really disgusted. She had some sort of thing excreting from her body. She was foul. We've never smelled anything like that. Whoa. And she bought all these emails with my name. Like, it'd be like, she bought my domain name. So I'd be like, she'd send emails and it'd be like to Rachel at findstinefarts.com or whatever from findstinefarts.com. And then she would like be like, she smells like farts. And a lot about farting. And a lot of the N word too. She said the N word a lot. Really? White woman. Weird. And then I had to go to a police station and like file a report. And the cop was so hot. And he's like, well, what does she say? And I'm like, she says they smell like farts. And that's creating the smell. He's like, let me, let me investigate it. People kept doing that. Like Emilio, like New York comic club is like, I just want you to know I've never smelled. And I think I'm, could we not analyze my sense? Like, obviously, she's a foaming lunatic. We go back to this for one sec. Because I'm, did Kenny take pictures of what we, what does he do to? No, well, Kenny couldn't do it because she knew Kenny. So he's like, listen, I can't be. So he, he gave me some other guys that he knew. So he passed it off. And Kenny does know everybody in the police department. He does. Yeah. I remember the police station. He's got a guy for me. Yeah. Yeah. Did he, did the guy give you pictures? Or what did he do? Yeah, pictures. Yeah. That's cool. Old school. I had a meat like an eye hop with an envelope of cash. Yeah. The like, God, I'll be sitting over here. I'll be by myself. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. But here that we imagine you meeting some fucking P.I. in the denies. I know. Exactly. Yeah, I know. That's what he did. That doesn't eye hop, right? I'm rooting on him. I got to make it there. Wow. We're an envelope of cash just, you know, the retainer. Yeah. And they go, give me info on your family. How long did it take him? Three days. Oh. Yeah. It's kind of good. I guess he's been listening. Yeah, I know because he was like, damn, this thing is going to go on and on. But yeah, three days it was, it was over. The status part isn't when Jim, like, discovered all this. I remember that time because I know that you had to, like, slow down all the blow jobs. You were getting on the road just to focus on that. Never cheated. You know, I'm just being an asshole. You didn't. You never got his cranking. No, no, no. I knew because I said, if I'm going to do this, you know, I know what am I going to do? You respect about you. And this is true about a lot of guys that are like people will be like, oh, he's filthy. But I feel like you're very direct. Either you're going, you're crushing plus your free reign or you do the right thing. As it should be. As it should be. Yeah. He's a knife. I'm like a guy on steroids. You know, he has like a great two months. And then he knows he got tested. So he has to go off on them. I was so tiny in the playoffs. I was married. I was batting 41. It is funny when they just get thin. Oh, you're like Brett Boone lost a lot of fucking muscle. What the hell happened? But how did you get rid of your lady? She's in jail right now. Wow. Yeah, she's like in prison. But her, um, it's funny because then when I caught, when I, when I called the cops, the cop, like one of the cops that ended up helping me, he just like, he can't bind me like socks and stockings because he had like a foot fetish or something. Like, I just like ignore his weird shit to get him to focus on. I'm like, he'd be like, so what kind of. It's like a funny name for a stalker. Right. So hot in high school. Like she was. You show me pictures. Yeah. My brother was like obsessed with her. And he was like, when I told him about it, he's like, you know what? He thought it was so funny. He got a sweatshirt. There's that. This side. And he would just wear it. That's great. Oh, dude, I had a crazy ex. And she, I mean, she was always like a little off. But when you're like, when you're like 20, the tot. You're like, of course. You know, this is just this. For a guy, there's no danger really. But then she started getting crazier and crazier. And she, she actually, when I did the show at the MSG theater, she had to get physically thrown out by my agent. She's heckling me. Wow. At the biggest show in my life. And she still messages me all the time. I did a bit about her and a special. Yeah. I changed her name to Melinda and I see her brother on the street. And I go, oh, how is she doing? And he goes, you know, I was like, yeah. And he goes, there's a good bit, though. So I got the brother's phone on the bit. Did you hear her heckling you while you were on stage? Oh, yeah. I mean, for me to hear it. And I knew her voice. I was like, fuck. And you know it's gonna happen, right? So you have Burke on it. I didn't say shit. But my agent ran right into the crowd and was like, shut the fuck up. And she, with her mom and her mom was like, her mom knew her mom was like, I'm sorry. What? But yeah, they had to throw her out. But yeah, she just messaged me again. And she's still like, can we just catch up? Can we just catch up? And then she shows me a picture. She goes, this is my baby. And I was like, oh, my god. Some poor bastard. And this is Jim's ex-wife. Yeah. And she still wants to catch up, even though she has a baby. I guess. A poor baby. Yeah. It is always the craziest ones that are pretty solidly, I will say. Yeah. You know, true. I mean, when we were in I shouldn't say her name. You guys believe that? Yeah. We were in high school. I mean, she was like smoke and hot. Now she looks like Tom Petty. But like, she was. It's a, you know, like, I remember. I remember we did this dance at like, we went to this Jew camp, like, sleep boy camp. And we had, there were this guy that I loved. And she went to my camp too. And then they were like, trying to decide, you know, how boys used to like, huddle up and decide which girl to dance with. And I, oh, this was the most traumatizing moment probably in my early life. I heard his counselor say to him, why are we even discussing this? Obviously, it's, it's the blonde one. The other one's like, he's like, she's dog shit. She smells weird. Dog shit is fucking. Dog shit is out. Dog shit is out. Yeah. That's so, so my counselor out there. Maybe because you smell like dog shit. Okay. But yeah, but guess what? You won. I did win. She's in prison. Yeah. Although she's probably the hottest chicken that prison. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like I said, used to be fucking smoking. She's not hot. What did she go to prison for? You know, she wears like a sweatshirt on top of her head. That's the level of it. Like, she's bald up sweatshirt. She became most place on top of her head. Yeah. I got to see this lady later, later. Yeah. Yeah. Later, I'll show you. Okay. But she, uh, her brother's actually also was helpful to me because he's a FBI agent. And I knew him from high school. So I like called him up. And I'm like, of course, I love that he's in the FBI. Yeah. You have a tie. I do. Yeah. I like it. It looks like he fucking punched a hole in the wall. It throws gun in a sink. You like a civil serviceman? Somebody's paid by the government. UPS uniform. Honestly, it does it for me. Any uniform. How long before you and your wife were good? How long? It took a while. That's probably like, of course, that's fucking. Probably a good like three years. I would say. - That's pretty quick, I think. - Two, three years. - And it's just, was it like you're just like, I've healed, fuck it, it's all good? - Yeah, you still, yeah, I think so. I think everybody kind of moved on. - Well, how do you go from this horrible tragedy for your life, and then becoming friends with the dude? - Well, you have to, you have a kid. - Yeah, yeah, you know, 'cause he's a good dude. He's around my kid all the time, you know, I have to time. And I see my kid sporting events, so we like, you know. - And he was like 23. - 22. - I mean, yeah, I had a joke, 'cause he was still in college. I had a joke, I go, him and that guy, my son was five at the time, I go to both in the same school system. (laughing) I go, there might be on the same bus this year, I'm not sure, I'll know the first day of school. That is wild, I mean, it's definitely better for your mental health that you've made peace with. - Sure. - Yeah, you have to, you can't just drag that along. You can't, you know, I had a lot of rage in me for a long time, you know, you get married, you think this is gonna be it, this is gonna be great. We got a kid, it would be a perfect life and all of a sudden that should have happened. - Did she ever apologize? - Yeah, she did, but, you know, then also, you know, it's always you're never around, you're always on the road, it all that stuff, but. - Sure. - But yeah, that doesn't really, that doesn't follow us, so I had to go. - No, I know, I know, that's, that's, that's, that's, you know, I was on the road, I could have done it too, but I did it. - Exactly. - Yeah, it's also, you know what you signed up for, buyer beware. - Yeah, I think comics. - They always stay, it's always a problem always. - I think dinner every night is a sinus stability. - We don't, we're not able to provide that all night. - Dinner, a show, a movie, there's a date night. - Yeah. - That's all gone. - Yeah. - We're able to, to be around a little more, but yeah, those weekends pile up. - And then you don't wanna go on vacation or go travel somewhere when you get home for a few days. - And then I set up a gig where we won't vacation. - I always do that. - Every vacation I go to. - I piss off my whole family. - Oh yeah, so. - Honey, do you wanna get a nice little getaway to Myrtle Beach? - Yeah. - I've done that club twice when I was on vacation. - The whole week. - But, yeah. - I tried to try the club at Borra Borra, but I was like, they gotta have a room. - That was the review of the show. - You were like, it's three hot or something before me. - Yeah, our whole family went to, we've already got the Borra store land though, for like a week and it was brutal. And I found a one-nighter in, like, Daytona Beach two hours away. They're like, I can't believe you're working. I go, you guys are doing your own thing. I couldn't wait to get out of there. - Of course. - 'Cause we do that one-nighter. - So we're getting so antsy. - Yeah, like activities and I wanna like it. - Yeah, I don't wanna, yeah. - I don't need to sightseeing. - Make you homicidal. - Root. - You'll never be more pro-choice in your life. - Yeah. - And don't fly. - You're like, oh. - The Mickey ears everywhere. - Oh, brutal. - We went to Disney with this, like, when we, before we had a kid, you know, with his other adults. 'Cause he would always come on all my trips with me and he's like, you never come on any trips with me. I'm like, that's 'cause my friends are fucking delight. - Yeah. - And I would just want shit. - Right. - But we went to Disney with this couple and we went to Epcot and he was like, look, it's like legit Japan. It's like the same thing. Like, there's no, but you don't even have to go to Japan. And then he was just cursing at drunk those. And his wife just smacked him, right? We were about to watch the Disney fireworks and she's like, 'cause you're a fucking idiot. And then she just smacked him right across the face, got to respect this bitch. And then he's like, I'm sorry, Colleen. I'm sorry. She's like, look at the fucking sky. That's magic, Kevin. Fuck it, look at the sky, you're a prick. It was amazing. - Well, it sounds like a Colleen and Kevin couple. - Right. - Colleen, smacks Kevin, all right, all right. - But I don't want to do activities with people. - No, that's the thing about a partner. It's like, what should we do today? And they're like, let's go golfing sites. Let's go dig a hole. Let's go to the beach. I'm like, let's sit here. - Yeah. - I like to hotel. - My friend just went on a thing with a girl. He started dating Apple picking him up. There's nothing I want to do less than go Apple picking. - That's a chore. It's literally a job. - Yeah. - No, you get that guy. We have friends that we do. My brother, that was single for like 19 years. He was just trying to raise his son. The mom wasn't involved. So when he just go to sporting events and concerts, just the guys, guys, fix his cars. All of a sudden, he meets his woman within like six weeks, he's taken salsa lessons. - Ooh. - And when my brother told me, it hurt more than my divorce. (laughing) - Got like a lot. - I lost my brother. Really, to this day, it still stings. - Yeah. - That he was taken, that guy's never been on a dance floor ever in his life. - That's so cool. - And he's taken salsa lessons. - And Joey Diaz is my neighbor and his son's on my house complaining. He goes, "My daddy, I don't see him." And he goes, "Listen, he's getting his ass eaten, "leam alone." (laughing) - And you know what, he made sense. He's getting his ass eaten, just leading alone. - That's the hell of a godfilling for the kids. (laughing) - What a role model. (laughing) - That's awesome. - It sounds brutal. - I know, dance lessons. - I'll fly in from the road. It's like a Portland flight. And my wife's like, "We should go to the aquarium." I'm like, "I just landed." - Yeah. - Are you nuts? - I know. - I also feel like they're like a graveyard for like compelling things. Like I don't wanna sit. - True. - I feel like there are pretty things in this thing. - It depends on the museum. - Yeah. - If I'm on vacation. - I'm never any of 'em. - If I'm on vacation and it's like I was in Europe and like some of these are cool as fuck. Some of these historical museums, some of them. But then you're like, "Yeah, but then like, "if I get off the road, I don't wanna do shit." - No. And I've seen a fish. You know, one aquarium's the same as the other ones. - Right. - And it's a whole group thing. You gotta walk with the group. - Right. - I don't wanna do that. - You're like, how long do I stare at this before I'm done? - Which I think is worse. I know that's, and there's nothing. There's no dumber feeling in me standing in front of a page to have feelings about it. - How about that? Oh, I like the breaststroke. - Well, I go with Chase and he knows this shitload about all this. He can just, someone's there to explain it all to me and like the history. I'm like, all right, I'm kinda interested. - Yeah, I like a story. If you could be a story. - Yeah, but I'm the same with the UFC. I don't know enough of it. I need like Lewis Gomez to be like, this guy hates this guy. And he'll go, okay, that does help with this story. - I love this story like a story. And Mark is like, yeah, holocaust. - Yeah, it's a fun, loving day. - We know how that started. We got the backstory. - No, but I do like a story. Like I like history because I like, when people make it fun stories. But then you fucking memorize boring dates, like Betsy Ross when she's, like so to flag. You think she had fun doing that? She was probably portish. I wanna know like about who shequeered off. - Right. - But some woman, they blew each other's back. - One gossip. You don't want history. - Yeah. - I think she's always so pointless too. - I know. - You're gonna fucking have to memorize it. - 1844, who cares? - I fuck me. - I hate a museum with no explanation. Like I went to one in Copenhagen when I was there in September and I was just, it was just like, this is the shoes they wore in a war in like 1842 and you're just like, what war? I don't give a shit. There was like no backstory. And you look at the shoes, no fucking ankle support. - Of sure, of course. - You look at like the 80s, I'm like holy shit, basketball players played in Converse. That's crazy. - Fighting wars and like essentially slippers. - That's true. - I love you. It's like they don't have Jordans on. - Well not Jordans, but like some kind of, but you're like that's, the war's not bad enough. You're running through shit with like, you know? - Yeah, it's true. It's a good one. - That, those were some fucking men and a big kid. - Oh my god. - Big men. - I'm counting my steps that day. - Yeah, good fucking. - I'm like, Luke, no, no. - People used to just kill people and then just do a couple other things after that. Like run some late errands, like, yeah. - Isn't it crazy? - Like all these forts and shit you see around the country that's all just to not die. Like everywhere you go, like, this is the fort. - I don't even know that's where they have forts. - Yeah, it's just a bunch of people like all right. People are gonna show up on boats. We have to shoot them before they shoot us. - And then we run into fort. - And then we run into fort and try not to die. - Have some like sacks or whatever. - Yeah, I was gonna go to the prostitution museum in Amsterdam. - I've been there. - You have. - Yeah. - But it was like 40 bucks to get in. I go, I'm not paying. There was a massage pole next door, I'll go. (laughing) I'll see you around. - Are you talking about Ed Frank? - Well, no, that was in Amsterdam too. No, they have the prostitution museum, you know. - You misheard prostitute, you're in Frank and the prostitute. - I didn't go there either. I know what happened. - That would be amazing if you tried to chew down to the price of something. - Well, what's impossible to get? You got to book that one out like three months out. - I know Frank. - Frank's popular. - She's a hit. - Big hit. - Yeah. - Van Gogh museum, you could maybe pop. That one's a good, you got to make your-- - That was hard too. - I couldn't do this. - When I was in Anne Frank and that Rose of Anne Frank, I was just getting tweeted out for like a full year by my husband. - Oh, you were in Frank, right? - Yes. - I'm just getting these furious tweets from like somebody at the Holocaust Museum. Like, stop fucking sending me pictures of fucking, just like-- - Look at you. - You failed us. - That's Frank, all right. - It was all Jews doing it. It was fucking cool. We were like telling her story, but then I get fucking tweets from the Holly Museum and furious at me. - Wow. - Yeah, I mean, what would piss Hitler off more than knowing that Gilbert Gottfried is playing? - That was my joke. - Oh, really? - What's more annoying than this, like you'd be played by the loudest Jew or badger of all. - That's what you guys are doing. - Gilbert would follow me around backstage and be like, I'm gonna get you any you in a bag and hit their costume. And pretend to speak. He's like, I'm gonna put you on my left and speak you. - Good times of Israel up for over Netflix show in which Hitler, Rose and Frank are-- - Damn. That's pretty funny. - A Kanye shared it. - Well, yeah, I went to the horror museum as well and I was excited 'cause I was like, hey, a horror museum. My wife's like, this is so sad, they're traffic, and I was like, oh yeah. (laughing) I'm hard 'cause all these great photos and stuff. - Right. So that was a wake-up call. - That's so funny. - I just imagine you move in a semi in the museum for my cutting to empathize. - Yeah. - Clips open to having to explain to you that it's sad too. - Yeah. - I went to whose decision it was to go to that museum. It was a marker as well. - No, let's go to prostitution museum. - That's up. - Yeah. - That one we agreed on. (laughing) - Oh, I can just imagine Mark being like, oh, terribly sad. Yeah, terribly sad. - Yeah. - Yeah, she's pretty hot. - That's a good look at that. - Damn. - Yeah, I mean, there is nothing darker than an Amsterdam, but they just stand there in the glass, I mean. - I know. - It's sad. - So the saddest part is that also, just that there's probably like some liberal. Like, no, she's in control. - She's a child. - She's running the ship. It's like, come on. to stand it. I mean, come on. There's a guy with a gun in the back. You guys know that famous story that, um, boss is over in Amsterdam, and he went in one end that went in the prostitutes. And he started telling us, yeah, I'm a comedian. She goes, do you know Patrice? Oh, wow. She knew Patrice. That was it on the right side of the glass. The spit was blocked. That, well, that's definitely because he, so he had been with her. Yeah, I guess in Patrice, you should go to all the time, but he, you know, Patrice. So for me, no one of the most famous comedian's not by his work. Yeah. Right. That's wild. Well, I used to go to Brazil and really good down. I heard. Yeah, they always wanted me to go. I was like, that's going to come back and haunt me. I don't want to, you know, you're in a relationship, you know, later on, and you're like, you were over in Brazil getting hookers the whole week. There's some girl in the religious, just like, you know, men in the morning making a decision like that. Like, you're not even drunk. You're like, it's planning a fucking vacation. And a bunch of men together. Yeah. That's true. It'll be fucking hot. It'll be Alice and background. It'll just stay in a heart on for like 71 out of 72 hours. He was there. Wow. It doesn't sound so much darker than like Vegas. I told you. You break out of passport to get some pussy. Yeah. There's some darkness. That's true. I mean, I never got that like even in your most foul days. Like, did you guys want to like fuck next to your friends? There's been so strange about it. Yeah. Not really. It's not, what's the idea now? Not thinking about the friends at the moment. Yeah. No, but you have to block that out. Group room situations and stuff. We've a buddy. You told us a story that he was hanging out with Dennis Rodman and some strip club. And he's just getting blown right next to it. Oh. And I was like, that's what a fucking night. That's intimidating. And he's like, I did it for the story. I'm like, it's not a great story. Not for you. Yeah. There's a sadness here. Yeah. Great for Rod. I mean, having some guy right next like with Big J. Well, back in the day, you do it because of like space. There's not enough space. Right. You got it. It's the only way you're going to get laid when you're like a kid, you know. That's true. Yeah. Isn't an adult. You're like, I want my own room. Yeah, but they're planning vacations so that they could just and then the planning is weird. The planning is so disturbing. You had to be like, oh, I can't bring my toothbrush. I saw the precision to get a plastic too. You're not like, you know what? We could be great right after the start. Right. And Patrice Board all the sex toys over there too. The suitcase. Like they need those. I'm sure they got sex toys over there. What do you want me to bring a props? You're fucking carrot tops. You're at bottom. That's crazy. They want it to bring us all in though, you know. So dumb that he brought fidget toys. That's crazy. Just have sex with her. Don't be like, oh, this is going to be fun. Look at this. He was a vet clearly. I guess so. What a pro. Crazy. No, I mean, God rest his soul in all, but he loved the hug. He did. He was very fond of this of the skanks. Anyway, I don't know. I just keep looking. Are you in a relation now or no? No. No. Yeah. But do you do you think you'll get back out there? Yeah. At some point. I was for a while. You guys know she was carrying my goal. Nice kill. Yeah. She was great. Good egg. What happened? She want to start a family. You already got one of those. Yeah. That's so nice and clean. That's a good clean reason. Yeah. So, you know, when I just like, I can't do it. Plus, I got a bisectomy. I'm not going to reverse it. Did you guys discuss this early on? Yeah, yeah, we did. And did you really think someone's going to change their mind? Yeah, you always think, you know, you can, you know, but it does have to be to get reversed. It may be a 20% chance will work. Right. That's a big operation too. They're like, I don't know when your balls and reconnect the tubes and all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. If that sector is easy, it's done in like five minutes. Does it hurt? No, you just get a couple of novocaine in your balls. You feel a little tugging for five minutes. You talk about sports with the doctor and you're done. You think the index is going to repeat that probably. I don't know. Okay, you're good. Just put an ice pack on it a couple of days and you're good. Oh, my God. A couple days. I think three months later. You have to you. Your wife is fucking nine months pregnant. A couple days with an ice pack. That's the breakfast. We are bitches. Total bitches. But then like three months later, you have to shoot a load and they'll cop and bring it back to make sure that there's no accuracy in there too. That's fun. You got to drop off a load. I like that. And then like eight years later, I got to test it again just in case because sometimes they don't work. So I made sure that I was still there was nothing live. That's going to feel great. Just blow that inside a lady in no worries. I know. I don't have to give the right name. I still like to work because it makes me last longer. All right. You know, so I still they're like, you have us actually. Why are you wearing a condom? I go listen. It's going to be four more minutes of pleasure for you. Wait, at your age, I feel like what do you 50? No. Oh, sorry. 60. You look good. You're 62. 62. Holy shit. You're amazing. Yeah. Wait, you look amazing. So do you still are you still like, um, you know, crushing push on the road? No. Well, my audience is old. It's thrown up in walkers now. Damn. Because everyone's getting older, you know, and then if I have a early show, I do well. The late show is like nine people there. Do you want to have another relationship after this? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I would. But you know, if you find somebody that's just right, you like going bumble or no, I don't do any of that. I did it when I first got the voice, but would you meet your wife that your previous wife, Kid Rock concert, Kid Rock, Leonard Skinner, get out of here. Park a lot. Holy hell. That was that girl was trash from the beginning. That was beautiful. He called me and goes, Hey, man, I got free tickets for the concert tomorrow. I was at this venue in Jersey. He goes, I got a bunch of hot chicks coming. You want to go? Yeah, I'll go. And then I showed up and she was there. And that's how we met. Damn. And then last this past summer, Kid Rock was playing with, uh, with Leonard Skinner. And we went and she was there with our husband. And I was there too. And my son was there. I'm like, this is how we met in this fucking park a lot. We're same as. Damn, that's crazy. Yeah. I want to have heard new husband knows who the fuck Leonard Skinner is. He's probably so young. I want to even know who crank anchor is. Uh, yeah, I don't know. He's like 34 now, though. I might have been, um, after I know who the Beatles are. That's good boy. Yeah. That's good boy. Good figured out. I mean, damn, that's crazy though. You should do the apps. I met the girl. They know I met her on fucking hinge. You know, in the suburbs, there's nothing. There's nothing going on. There were every where I live. It's all Staten Island and Brooklyn couples. And they're all married. And they're they've been their high school and college sweethearts and their great marriages. There's no tension in any of them. Wow. That whole area. Yeah. You would think like these Brooklyn and Staten Island guys, you know, I got fucking three girls on the side. None of them are like that. Yeah. So there's really nobody in divorce. And so there's nothing in the suburbs. If I live in the city, it'd be, yeah, that's why I never lived in the city. I knew I'd be out of control. It takes up all your time. Yeah. And plus I'd be drinking every night. So that's why I lived on the other side of Jersey, like West New York, Cliffside Park. I can only have two drinks because then I'd have to go home because I have always drove to go do sets. Right. And then I'd be hanging out the seller and already and book God for you have nine girls lined up. Come on. Let's go. I'm like shit. Good point. I can't do what I got to drive home. That just kept me disciplined. What's that? It's such a sad story. I mean, the numbers I would have put up, I would have been a first ballot hall. I wouldn't have had to wait three years. 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Monitor your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/drunk. Rocket money.com/drunk. That's rocketmoney.com/drunk. Yeah. I think she went to jail for she's also stalking this other rabbi and she threatened to bomb the BWI airport. I mean I've thought about that about that airport. Yeah, she had a couple other people she was stalking and I like approached one of them and I was like do you want to join cases and they blew me off and that kind of hurt. Did it make you feel less special that she was like a local rabbi? Like yeah, get let's do it together. Were you a little bum that she had other people she was stalking? It hurt a little bit. Yeah, I one guy that was really only focused on me and it was nice he used to send me writing rings and paint me a lot and stuff. Whoa. You paint the new? Yeah, he wrote a whole book like as if he was me and he made me something such a fucking asshole. It was like I looked in the mirror before I went on stage and winked at myself what I always do. And I was like I looked at my own rear and said to myself you've got some tall. You read the book? I read some excerpts or it's hilarious. You still have it? No, I don't have it. No. And it was alarming. Did you publish it? No, you looked at a trailer. There's no publisher. You just sent me like on these things. He's a self-published man. That's true. I mean, he could send her to sides. Yeah. Did he send me the sides? You're right. He sent me some highlights. Can I get a blurb for this novel? Yeah, she sent him to the wrong Rachel Feidstein and then this girl called me and she's like I'm getting a series of like unhinged packages from this foaming lunatic. She's like I think he means to stalk you, but I've gone to the cops and I'm like, well I guess we'll handle this together. She's like, no, this is your problem. Yeah. I love a disorganized stalker. Yeah. He was sending them on address and he sent like, yeah, he had a lot of, he would paint a lot of pictures of me and then sent like wedding rings, but they were like, my name is Good Riggs. You got him checked out? 10 ring. Yeah. I got to see your stalking situations are pretty, pretty light. There's no violence. You should hear some of these vo- voicemails. They're pretty loud. Like it's insane. I mean, it's crazy. That's the top of her logs at me. I mean, 800 times a day. And then it would be like, some of it would be funny. She'd be like, you fart smelling bucket. She was like, dirty puzzle, which is a funny thing to scream at someone, but what do you know about my puzzle? It's fucking good. It's solid. How can we never block that? It works about my puzzle. I mean, you can't block if you're trying to get restrained. Because, no, that's not actually why. I know that because of data, some really, really good people. No, I mean, that's, that's, no, the reason why is because she has an app on her phone that she can. Oh, different numbers. She had a phone to make it show up as all these different numbers, you know. And she was, again, like, you know, really good at this because that's all she did. She didn't have a job. She was that level of insane. I mean, she thought the military needed to like take apart my braid. It would be funny if she had a job. Yeah. She just goes on break at Chipotle. She's like, N word, N word, pussy fart. All right. Let me get back to scooping some guac. She didn't work with like a local psychic for a while, but we can imagine how crazy this is like her. It was like, Gipsy Marie and my friend. I mean, you know, yeah. I mean, she didn't really, her family had a lot of money. So she just had an apartment and the cop would go over there all the time and like, remind her to leave me alone. And she would say, well, I need to take apart her brain because I need to find out the military needs it to find out how someone could be this foul. And he called me and he'd be like, just, you know, she's the one who smells, if that makes you feel any better. I'm like, look, fucking obviously she smells like she's that, she's like cutting her own hair. She's a sweatshirt on her head. She's not well. Yeah. But I don't need everybody to re-analyze my smell. Now, was she living in New York at the time or was she involved tomorrow? No, she was in Maryland, which actually Kenny helped me a lot with it. Did the parents just give up on her clue? I mean, they just, uh, her family, her parents were both passed away at this point. Her mom, she started, the rabbi she was stalking was actually the rabbi that did her mom's funeral. And then so she started stalking him right after the funeral. But I mean, yeah, there was really nothing more they could do. It was the brother. But then she was calling up the FBI and like accusing him of all kinds of insane things. So he had to block her too. He was trying to help me too. Yeah. Dan. And the cop would be like, it was funny because he always would be like, let's get a drink and talk about all this. Yeah. All right. I don't even get to drink. He's like, I got some stockings for you. Let's just go ahead and meet on Fifth Avenue and have a little chat about how crazy this bitch is. It's like that Ray Leona movie. Have you ever seen a movie on lawful entry? Yeah, yeah. Well, he's like, it's Kurt Russell and I forgot the actress, but they're, they have a break in. And he's like, he comes. He's the cop. And then they, uh, and then he's just obsessed with the guys. His wife and he starts stalking them. No. Yeah, it's not a good movie. But if you want to see Leo to just fucking be a psycho for an hour and a half, it's kind of fun. Yeah. He always sticks up for that girl. What? Which movie is this? It's a very famous movie. I sound really dumb, but Karen. It's good film. Good film. Yeah. Um, yeah. The one he broke the guy's face. Yeah. Cause no one's ever done that for me. Like, I've always been like, oh, somebody's bothering me. And then he was also fucking a lot of the girls, too. You're okay. Well, he was also fucking a lot of the girls on the side, you know, another part man all night. No, it's just like, Karen, what happened to her part that I found hot. This is so sad. That's right. But I remember somebody like jumped me on stage like somebody ran on the stage and I called my husband. I was like, this guy did this and he's like, Oh, that's crazy. I'm like, no, it's not a wacky story. He's like, what bit were you saying? Yeah. You want a guy that's going to, you know, at least do something or something happens. So you're Karen, like in the movie, he gives her the gun, he goes, hide this. And she goes, I don't know why, but it turned me on. Yeah. Never that. Well, something. I mean, now she turns it on. Yeah. Man, man. Yeah. She wouldn't think so. I wouldn't have gotten that because I don't know. I just say it. You know, like, because you're a whiny Jew. I think that's what it is. I want to finish it. Like a guy's guy, a construction worker and stuff like that, firefighter and yeah, I don't know. I just think you would like some like a like a wimpy guy that lived in the city, you know. That's what you would see for me. Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah, I was thinking. She thinks you like a guy like me, but you like like strong. She don't. Yeah. Yeah. You know, if God forbid, my marriage doesn't work out and all my way out, but, um, spoilers. Tees for upcoming episodes. God, the bed. Um, yeah. I mean, I need to shift that eventually if, you know, something terrible will happen. And, uh, no, I actually did that last word out. But, um, I do need it. It's not done me any yet. It's not done me any good. Yeah. Well, the other side might not have done you any good either. Maybe. I mean, I did it kind of like a very Jewish guy, but he was, he wanted me to stop doing this. I, what? Yeah. He was like, come on. You're not going to see stand up for the rest of your life. I just took me to dinner to say that, which is so funny to take road out to dinner. Yeah. I forgot to ask for your job. Quit your dream. He was like, you're not going to do this for a rest of your life. And I'm like, of course, I will. You know, and then he was like, come on, let's move to Wayne, New Jersey. Oh. And you could just sit there and watch me work in an insurance company. Oh. So he was, I, he was really funny and I really liked him a lot and he was normal and he was good and bad, but he wanted me to just not work. Yeah. So that's, you know, I mean, he wanted me to do something, but something more subdued and boring. Right. And he presented it when I would. I want a woman to work just so she has a thing to do. Of course. I don't always want a busy woman. I would say, busier to better, because they don't have time to think the relationship. They don't resent you. Yeah. Yeah. You had a driven partner. You had to come home. That's like, I don't want someone like this and when I come home from school, that's crazy. Yeah. And they're just ruminating the whole time about how much they hate you and everything you've said. And you want them to have some sort of passions in life. You don't want someone who's just like, I don't know. Totally. Yeah. Totally. I think busy and driven is a really good quality. Because then they won't resent what you're up to. Yeah. And they just go on the internet and then they get the Algo, the man hate Algo. But this is, this is a tough career for a lot. I mean, that's, your wife complained about being on the road. I've gotten that a lot. Totally. Yeah. No, it's ruined every relationship. You look back like there was probably like two girls in my 20s, I could have married. There would have been great. But because of this, you know, business, it just fell apart. There would have been great partners, you know, but you sacrifice all of that stuff. I know. I would always yell at the girl when she went to work. I'd be like, oh, it's 11 a.m. You're going to work, huh? What's that about? Huh? Yeah, you see how it feels? But I have to make money. Yes, so do I. We just work a different time. That's actually hilarious to harass. I would have rather nursing jobs. I would have to pay you, paying your bills. Yeah. Oh, look who's got to go to work, huh? They do resent it. And especially when you're not making any money in the beginning. They really don't care. They don't care. They don't care. Like when you're working for free on a Friday or Saturday for a food or something or plus it's costing you to go into the city and all that, yeah, they never understand that. But I have an idea. I want to make money. They're like, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. Even the ones, even when you try the bits and don't work, you're like, all right, well, that's it. I won't try those now another night and now I have an opening to try other shit. Like, they don't even realize even the failure nights. Yes. Or, yeah, integral to tell you a new hour. That's true. You ever see those guys who bring a girl to an open bike and you're like, woo, isn't gonna like that. That's insane. When I would go on the road and guys would come and bring their girlfriends with them. Yes. Yeah. That's crazy. And shit in the green room. Yes. The one thing I value before I get a sage is silence. I don't wanna shmue somebody, yeah. I hate yeah, and then I especially if it's a woman because I I'm going to want to be extra nice to her like I'll trash some guy I'm sure but I were always kinder to each other. Yeah, I'm gonna like feel bad and want to be yeah But when I was on the road, I would never yeah bring anyone I just come be quiet stay out of people's ways now I feel like they're probably trying to save their relationship They're probably like they if she she never sees me I'm out doing four open mics and I that's true But it's yeah, it doesn't make it any less annoying. Yeah, like yeah, but you're I think they're trying to save the relationship when they do that I think you're absolutely right. Yeah, because she's probably like I never see you like all right Come to this thing on Saturday like including you But then in the beginning of relationship they always want to come to their shows and then after they see it for a while I get I'm just gonna stay in a hotel room You got two shows on a fine like you know what I'm this I'm just I got to work to do. Yeah, good perfect I don't want you to either right because they're seeing the same joke so you feel like you got to change the shit And it hurts yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know your tricks. I know this spontaneous moment. They know you're fake Yeah, I know that's what it is. They know you're full of shit. Yeah, yeah Know me well enough to know my like little tricks on sage and the horse shut up pedaling it's it's it's not good I don't want them there either. Yeah, everyone's everything for everybody us in them All right, just that was one good thing when I did a Karen because she would open for me So we travel together so she was never bitching. I wasn't around on the weekends It was perfect. So I was taking her places and we were making money. Yeah, then we spent time together was awesome Yeah, it is a great situate you see why comics date each other. Yeah, but in any field you're gonna date people who do what you do? That's yeah, you know, I always said I would never date a comic, but I have to say like it does make sense I guess practically, but I didn't have too many bothering me I never really got hit up But it does make sense because they understand a lot. Yeah I mean, do you like it Mark? Yeah, yeah, she gets it and sure wife your wife is so cool Yeah, it's going things are going well. So that helps you know, uh, holy shit Look at this beautiful Don't mind if I do Look at this I'm Jasmine from Agrabar. Oh, sorry. Yes, sorry. I'm late. I just got back from France protesting schools God, it took forever to put the pal city in flag on top of the Eiffel Tower for the French schools I never got that one. Oh, yeah, what's up? I had to see you night and shining armor How's your carpet ride? Hmm, pretty good. Wanna see? Sure. Oh, yes. Sorry. My ride match the drapes. Sorry. I got a lot of my Do any of you girls need any lipstick? I got it at the dollar store By the way, can I just say something? Is this what a whore looks like mr. Shane Gillis? Sorry, I was I was doing one of my workouts of the team. I've been my gym outfit. You're a strong lady. Sorry. Yeah Moment Sam, you're the 20s ever. Oh, yeah woman woman who murdered her two-year-old child expected a gentler monologue Yeah, Casey Anthony likes to just jump in on on all the I heard that story was fake. No, I mean, I was not because I don't even think there was a some guy Just put it out there. Oh, and just said that's what crazy. There was no story to it Right, but there was no Yahoo. There we go. What's over? That's where I got my news. Hey Jim, you know, it's not true. Okay. They're covering their bases. What these tits? Yeah, that was a real and hairy All right, looking good. Yeah, should I keep doing the voice? Should I just be myself? I think did you bring this for home? Yes, and oh my god. This is amazing that you just had the headless Thank you, and when you hook up. This is you and character. I'm asking both of you. Yes. Do you wear costumes ever? I mean, I know you're a wild boy. You're gonna I can't suspend disbelief enough to do roleplay I did student teacher once and I got mad because she wasn't applying herself According to AI. Yes, Casey Anthony publicly criticized. Okay, she did all right. There you go, virtual joke in a Saturday night live monologue, which is Yeah, all right, just like whores now. Yeah, what the hell she's still hot though. Very attractive. Yeah, yeah Because it was a documentary about a year and a half ago About she that was out and she still looks great. Look at it. Only thing. Yeah She must you guys are fucking yeah like right. Yeah. No, I want to shame her baby. I want to shame her I don't like women more attractive than me Fuck you Sydney. Sweet. There was a story, but a guy I think she was dating a guy and she dumped How would you like to be dumped by Casey Anthony? I would actually love it. You get out of there unless you didn't want kids Well, it depends, but what you mean by dumped like daughter dumped in a trunk or just like hey, we don't want to be together Sorry, speaking of killing kid the Lindsey Clancy copy cats are up. Oh, they oh, yeah more kids have died for moms this year than school shootings Wow fun fact. There's no way that's true. Yeah, no, it's been about like we were your foreign like two weeks. Yeah, they think it's okay now That's absolutely not true I'm going to be killed by this is not true. Wait a minute. No, Norman. We didn't do the school shooting thing I think the number one cause of homicide my mom told me this on my birthday, which you called me She's like the number one cause of homicide in this country Spelley push Sorry guys for pregnant women. It's like for France is top For pregnant women is their husbands killing them. Is that true? Number one cause a lot of homework right now, man We need to look up first school shooting versus mom killing in America in America this year versus mom's killing their kids You have to rate. There we go now. This is a happy Halloween. I'm going with the moms killing the kids. Oh, we got Jim Jim's got some money on it. I There's no way that's true What's the word of the numbers looking rum roll Yeah, can you make sense? I just need a clear number here Yeah, say which are more prevalent right now or which are I don't know. Did you guys have a black magic Pretend to play Chuckie in here. Well mothers and parents killing children Mothers and parents killing children Slash child homicides happen significantly more often in the United States. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you Are they really up after the Lindsey Clinton trending is so discussing gross? Fuck my pussy and call me a whore. I don't believe it. Everyone wants to be famous. They just look what's trending and they jump on the next fucking way I know hashtag kill kid crazy. Did you watch any of that? Did you guys watch any of the Lindsey clansy thing? I jerked off to it one No, I didn't why the whole thing's a bummer. I couldn't watch it I saw people defending her and I'm like, I don't know. This is the lady we want. I'm like. Thank you Yeah, that's not a hot take. Yeah, I couldn't believe it was a try. I couldn't believe it was a trial for like three weeks I'm like, what is it? What is the well? I feel like I know what you did Kasey Anthony ran so Lindsey Clancy could roll Here here girl power. Yeah, I'm with the a merman. I feel more like myself than ever Paris. I love this. Oh so much. Oh, that poor lady shop got looted. You see that? That was awful. That was awful. Yeah, they are looting the nice stores. Yeah They're like fuck capitalism. And they're like, should we hit Apple and Dior? What do you think? Yeah, it's how it always does a lot of the poor They had some video of like this couple in Paris just quietly eating their dinner to join themselves And there was like an active fight. That was hilarious. They were in the middle. I know it was very French They were just like whatever. Yeah, but now you see videos in Italy the Italian manager just beating these guys up on the street No way. Yeah, yeah, they ain't letting them fucking take over the country. Good for the Roman. So fucking hot You see McCrone was like all the looters are gonna have to pay back the damage. Yeah, you guys know looters. They're good for us Yeah, right if you're breaking windows, you're flush. I mean the government's gonna have to pay for it because they're all on government assistance They do do quite a lot of assisting in Paris and France. What what do you mean? They give them a like wear Free health care free school. What do you call it free daycare for the kids? It's like really good benefits in France And it's still no one's happy The tough time these kids they want air conditioning Initially, but now it's not about that sure anyway. Yeah I mean world said you can't like set business on fire and talk about what triggers you like it's got it Yeah, you could just set fires and be like I don't feel safe when yeah Yeah, no, you're setting fires those breast implants. You got that right dude. Oh my god You're asking me and I was so flattered. Yeah, you're still kicking their rich for you. Yeah, still looking good about face Up and out of a collar. I know you're about to insult me. So somebody come That's just a real sword. Whoa, that's fucking holy shit. He's the big fella. Yeah, get those in there. Well, yeah, that's like between a being a sea That's you're all the shit out of those Just how delighted you looked when you walked in was my favorite thing You didn't you look like it's Christmas morning. I was sitting in the make of chirping I've eyeliner that I did myself Oh boy. What's the correlation between banging trans people and tattoos? What you got a lot of tats to have to do with anything. I thought you liked the trends It's nothing to do with my tattoos. Oh, sorry We hit a nerve here. Oh, you can't put on your way out of this That is nothing to do with one of the other answers. It is all right They begin with the letter T They're both expensive and permanent. I do like him. She's continuing to put on lipstick I'd fuck me How would you what do you think what my question is so disgusting right now? Like why are you asking this I say it's a sister no look at me fucking Diane Sawyer I always do that so that I have ideas of questions Okay, I want to know as you as this horror character and you at you're also a horror So I guess you oh, what do you think each of these guys? What would you do? What do you think they would want? sexually, yeah, how would you what would they privately call you late at night because they want you to you know What do you think they they really mean hmm? Well when a car's broken down you call triple A and these boys I'll call them triple A because it's anal anal Amal all them really yeah, I'd rather just jerk you off I'll blow you I am that is what I'm into. I am not having sex. I'm saying no, no, no I am just having a jerk party and called a night. Well, this is a scariest Halloween yet Yeah, this thumbnail's gonna be crazy. I'm gonna have nightmares for a trick or treat in my I can't believe it. I'm committed to the voice. I've never been more him. So I don't have sex anymore. That is true Correct. I don't know how to add it up. You were I didn't either I was supposed to get one today But I canceled so I could come here. Oh This hurt these getting this rock gorilla tomorrow. Do you like it Jim? Oh, that's new holy shit The black and metallic that's metallic. I'm a favorite band. Yeah. What does this run you hear about give me a ballpark on that rock? Well all my guys do you mean for free? No, well not free discount because I'm loyal. Yeah, I'm someone that shows up And I give them shine when I get it done. Oh, yeah, you tip well. I tip well. I give it some good tip. What's the most expensive one here? Well, there's one on my chest this This is called a crazy sale. It's named after crazy sale de Sarno who was a cop killer in the 70s When he killed a cop the next day he was on the cover in the New York Post Arms behind his back face bloody and this tattoo on his chest And it was given by a man named Tony Polito who tattooed Attitude illegally out of his house in Lafrog Garden Old Calcutta and the day after this made the post the line was wrapped around the block at Tony Polito's old Calcutta for everyone to get the crazy sale Oh, and so I got the crazy sale done by a man What are you gonna put Lindsay Clancy at your upper thigh there that little whisper of a space that's left for one my asshole because she's a piece of shit So I had the crazy sound direct lineage from someone that was friends with Tony Polito, but he's a snake stupid mother-fucker named Bert Crack and I regret getting it to my hand, but this was the most expensive got it my back piece Have you seen my back? No, late on us. That's a beauty like red dragon Which one replaced a mother's love? Well, and I realized the more ink I get the less I'll get my father back And I did start getting covered when my ex-girlfriend left me and I tried to mask emotional pain. Are you are you single right now? Yes? You're seeing someone for a minute though Maybe I saw Ian do one of the coolest things we were on the street outside the comedy seller like on the corner and a woman Crazy guy was bothering this woman and Ian just went up to him was like so good to see you and just pretending Got the guy to go. It was a classy move. Thank you. A man's purpose is to protect women so that she may walk the earth unharmed No, I will grab bringing them a story. It's a Cherokee proverb. Did you wind up banging her? No, Jim It's not all about banging It's a good move. We need to stand up and then and take care of our sister Sometimes if you were going to glory no, I haven't gone to a glory hole in it. Um, uh, since 2019 that's not like a qualifying point Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You can find a glory hole. Are there sites? Well, when you when you're a guy like me, you know how a cat And I said I go in the litter box. Right. It's just kind of no. It's in the DNA got it. It's in the back of sex shops because I know about the rest of the road. Yeah. Oh, Yeah, because they like the body booths, right? They still have them. Yeah, the two dudes go in. Yeah. Well, they have it They have an Indian man pushing a broom around because all they want in person in install In install and then he goes, thank you come again And I say give me 20 minutes to reach our 20 minutes. Look at you. Good. That's a good recharge time Bluetooth promo code scoffer 50% where are glory holes in New York? I love what we're doing in your search history by the way how every week and do you have to like when you go to like are They're manned and unmanned glory holes are there some that are just like at an exon connected to a job A juice and then some that are like you have to say three phrases that's like getting into a rave or something Well, it's kind of like you know is there anybody is there really like a bouncer? There was a man that was just killed at a sex shop and the idea is that it was a glory hole incident gone wrong At the rainbow room shout out been there man. You don't get a lot of sympathy in that obituary It was a glory hole gun wrong Every time in a private jet. Right every speech of the few and I was like, yeah, he had cancer Wait, so is there anybody manning a glory hole like just a bouncer you have to deal with them like say a specific phrase to Yeah, no, it's all eye contact And then and then it's real dark and some guys times guys will take out their phones at to look at the time and you'll see a picture of them with their family on their background Oh That was one time I went Wish you would have said hi, you know who's on the other end that's the scary part you don't Like they were you're like no kidding. There's a glory hole here with like a well the wackiest experience was I Should I just keep doing the voice or should I stop there? It's kind of working for you. I'm a heart. Okay, so one time I was in the glory hole and I was getting a good old fashioned suck off and The guy on the other side if you could believe it Jim was a brother Okay, he kept saying give me that Jewish come my Jewish brother. Give me that how did you come he saw my face and I'm only Jewish by 23 in me, but I didn't want to spoil this party. So when I came I said Shalom Not lying that's true and then I didn't know what to do. So I fist bumped them through the hole How much people hate Jews these days that I was like oh, that's we didn't only say true This is a couple years ago you would have the likes and Jews in y'all Six is there like a line? Is it like a line of dicks and then is it one that hard five hard ones one soft one on you like yeah I'm gonna fix on that one there. There's a lot of guys just waiting around you make eye contact here ready make eye contact Oh, so you're right. So they're not being like look at me like look at me like you want to suck me Jim ready You're on You'd be good. You can't even maintain eye contact. Let me try. Let me try. Yeah, ready. Yeah, well Ah That's really too good and then you just go to the booth and do what men do Would you back for that Jewish calm from Sam? Sometimes you go and you just don't see anyone that strikes your fancy and you leave Jewish glory hole situations like a filings base bed if you guys are bargaining Black Friday There on the board or between wings working bedtime Get the store turn the favor afterwards. Is it like you do me then I do you or how's it good now sometimes you'll be in there And if you want to get sucked and they put a cock through you go no, thank you. Oh, that's pretty good There's something so sad about taking off the last word of off and just sucked. It's so Like so particularly foul. Can I say honestly there was you guys won't believe me There's a book called Times Square Red Times Square blue and it's about queer Cruising hookup culture in the 70s and 80s It was all-in-time square and there was like a community a man that would go and they'd hook up And I love your spainness, but also it's such a bitchy voice as I got to know each other For this Giuliani with his disneyification in the city got rid of it pushed all the queer men to the West side Yeah, and then murders ticked up because they didn't have a safe place to go There's no glory hole in the M&M store. There's no glory in the same So we have the glory hole in this and this story is the safe place to go. That's amazing Yes, the Jack Shaxx the booby theaters, right movie theaters. I said booby theater That's amazing that the safe place is also where you you get aids. That's incredible. Yeah, well It's an updated stereotype Rachel. Okay. I don't think it's about gay people aids and glory holes seem to go hand in hand It's harder to get from oral sex and a lot of people are in doxy prep nowadays. I'm just here to educate Okay, but I wasn't saying that about Gabriel also my glory whole culture which a lot of it's straight I would imagine you're completely wrong What woman He did you ever see a woman in there that's gonna how they call a fish and they're not welcome. They're not welcome bitch Man only space that is so funny women do not I mean I feel like women really don't understand that man can just like masturbate I know Glory hole for women. Yeah, I mean logistically that's a hop up because we can dick is available We're the feminists on that well quality. Well, I'll say you know if there was a glory hole for women It would just be a hole and an ear Now this is mainly in pornography No, I just want to know the whole situation not the actual there it is Sister. Yeah, no like like where so I thought here's how dumb am I thought that oh Glory hole was not like that you see somebody and like wink at him at a GI Friday's I thought it was like you just go into a bathroom and there's some dick waiting common misconception Because he's not waiting on dick. He's putting his dick through. Oh, so you put you just poke what your percentage of sucking versus receiving I like to suck if I know you. Hey, I respect that Now how thick is that wall? Because let's say you're a nice six incher. How much is getting over the other side thanks for the insult mark? It's it's plywood. Oh, all right. I'm picturing a brick wall with no You don't need a hill so you can't so you can't work the balls then you can certainly work the balls Jim But you can get your hands through there. You can get your hand through it's it's a slot or a hole Okay, so it's not like a little one just your face through their jam. Oh, got it. Okay, or if you're feeling frisky your ass sure hey girl I know you want to get free and do you make eye contact afterwards usually or no like it like a prevents Yeah, nobody wants I know that's a bad idea, right? You don't know you can I've made friends Friends is so hilarious, you know They're like in the show friends or the different time you wherever I go, but when I'm there it's a community Ever been unexpected glory holic where you wouldn't expect one like you're out of the bot mitzford. You know I'm more than just this We don't have to put the magnifying I know often do we get to ask questions like this object. Yeah, it is a fascist one one more subject Then we'll wrap it up and then we'll talk about my last pap smear since he's so amazing. I just want to know if there's unexpected ones where you Didn't think one was gonna break out like there's ever anything that anybody get an idea for a girl. Well, I carry a hole saw with me Peter's look up to the website tug because it's though the where the Robin Tugs are all over the city Oh my god mark is gonna get himself in a lot of trouble. Really? I got friends who love tug Well, there's a there's an app called sniffies Oh really is where you can find some glory holes or some it's called sniffies or you know I'm explaining this later. Don't say or no. I got friends that love Tugs Snippies you can find a no no loads refused party, you know What's on stuff to get into? Who's sniffies? That's a cute little term. It's like a kid show I know that's a thing with these actually if you go to sniffies come I may show up currently Wait, what is it? It is tug Wait, what's this different? What is sniffies again? Is this I think you gotta put it? You got to put in Robin Tug. Yeah, Robin Tug. What is Tug? It's a good a massage tug all over the city You know, you see those weird shady stores and you're like who's going in there? My friend's if you get that just In Philly we used to call him the wishy washy and it was on Vine Street and the doors only had numbers on them There you go, and you do wishy washy. Yes, once I'm I got black out at a strict club shout out show until no longer in existence And I go in the cab afterwards. I'm with my friend. I'm going I want to get jerked off take me to wishy washy Take me to wishy washy and the Chinese cab driver turned around and goes no you so horny you go home jerk off Wow, you're right He saved you money saved me Shut up Chen there's sniffies Now wait, what do you like to sniff me? Sure sniffies is like grinder on crack. Oh, it's all gay. So it's well. It's certainly not you know It's like see go now now see the the grid. It's just all pictures a Body parts. Oh boy, and you click and you just go. I'm here show up sister Oh, so you just basically show your waiting dick. Is that someone kind of wow the gaze of really mapped it out I know they got right but women like they require so much finesse Here's a picture of my balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's us men were animals. We're we're pieces of shit We're direct. We want to get through this Sam getting a nice to go up. Oh my god They told me they didn't have cameras. Sam you look great. Oh, yeah, there's no war from the background I think I know Sam haircut Sam. I made them play out of the past. Well, they took me off on the next game Wow, somebody's mom calling the background that's sad So educational if you got any pizza if you want me just throwing that out there watching my figure all right and candy Wow, what a holler. That's all I want to know there are there are sites where like a guy will like meet a girl and like a Hotel or something and like holder and give her a compliment There is girl porn there's girl porn. It's a lot like that. You can do that. Oh, thanks I did not mean to this for this to be as profoundly sad as it is. I really The fact that we didn't laugh it that we don't really. Are you good? Yeah Someone needs a hug. It's funny. Yeah, it's like darker than I intended it to be Things are good. This is gonna be the happiest Halloween yet. Yeah. Yeah, yeah a lot of a lot of clancy is it today I got a lot of Cornell seven costumes. Oh, yeah, yeah Wolf no, thanks. We're going out with the bang the clancy just got to put a diper on and some exercise equipment around your neck Jesus. Uh-oh. I knew it. I knew it You called I don't know it. We don't know what's happening here. He and does I do he and you what do you know? Oh? Mama I'm nervous. Oh my god. Oh my god Oh, man, he and Lauren, you're not in here. Chucky's at the right level for that glory home. That's true What's up? What's up? Chucky. What's up? Chucky. You've been on tug? Come on up here. Come on. I'll go. Mark. I didn't know your boy was that big already His child. He is a child would have turned this would be if that was a real knife. Oh my god Goodness. Okay. Scary. This is a wild. Good. Do you want to share a mic? I got you. Oh, that's deep voice. How old are you? Not a kid. He says Oh, and where did you meet Ian? That's about the rainbow room. Glory. How about a plan for this in Acrobar? So you're doing any killing there Chucky. I was but Somebody mess with me. Oh, God. The facts are Zoloft would amplify. What's comedy down? Yes. Well, so my mess with me. That's what I started. Oh jeez. Oh shit. Are we paying you for this? I can use that knife to the show's budget of this coming out of hey Chucky can you use that knife to cut me a slice? We got pizza. I'm sure you're homeless There you go. Oh, thank you. This is a proper way to find this guy the subway or what? There you go It's just still what hurt. Oh Wait, what why are you stripping then chucks? I was supposed to be a strip of that's what and I was supposed to be a doctor Funny out times change. I was supposed to be happy Hey, can we pay you to just hug her? Remind me that I'm sexually wrong. Yes. Thank you. All right Thank you, Chucky. This is nice. Thank you. I like Chuck. Oh, this is nice All right, there we go sit on his lap. He's he's likes it. He's the hold out Jerry and the linchel head Christmas time. Oh Christmas time Rachel needs by the way That's so nice. Chucky. Yeah, sit between them. There we go. Chucky. Thanks for coming in. Okay, we've got Sam J See you on the bird cruise Oh, no, I wanted me there. I could take one All right, here we go. All right. Well, let's wrap up. Everyone plug with it. Where you Jim? You're coming up on the road. Yeah, that's a good one. I got a new comedy special Jersey trashes on prime video nice And oh, yeah, I'll date some and why website Jim Florentine.com. - All right. - Love it. Good check out Jim's special. Go see Jim on the road. - Perfect. - Ian, what do you got, man? - Shout out to my sluts. Hors Bimbo's dolls and all. - Yeah. - Come on out. - See me live, eandfinance.com. November 5th to 7th, Philly Helium. December 16th, Cobb's Comedy Club. 17 to 19th Sacramento Punchline. December 22nd, LA. December 31st to January 2nd. Pittsburgh Improv, 27. I'm going crazy, bitch. - Hell yeah. - Rachel, Rachel, you're a good Australia everywhere. Ian do an odd guy do an odd jobs. Check it out. - Are you gonna get the Paris? - I am going to go and see what's left of it. - All right, that'll be fun. - Yeah. - Do a vlog. All right. Where are you gonna be at right now? - I'll be in Kansas City this weekend. September 23rd, 25th and I'll be at Point Pleasant. And then Tacoma, Washington, Randolph, Vermont. Is that even a place? I'm gonna hang myself in San Francisco and January, Rosemont, Illinois, Burlington, Vermont. That's a great club, Vermont. - Great club. - Yeah. Yeah, I'll be running my hour or rocking in a window. One of these places Portland, and I'll be cutting myself near a vending machine in Portland, Oregon. - Nice. - No, yeah, just go to my website or follow me on Instagram. Rachel Fideside and underscored. Chucky, where are you gonna be, baby? Where are you gonna be, Poppy? - I'm gonna be here. Well, Tacoma might go to Canada. - Oh, nice. - Cool. - Wow, okay. - What part? - Toronto. - Ah! - Can I say something real quick? - Yeah, get on the mic. - Get on the mic. - Get on the mic. - That's a big mic. Damn. Can I hold it with two hands? - Yeah, I can. - I prefer. (laughing) - I did a video a few years ago. Y'all probably seen it on the train in the subway. - I did. - It was doing COVID. - Yes. - The eye attacks. I attacked someone on the train just at Chucky. And that video was super viral and I died. He took my mask off and he was so mad. I'm like, "You're broke. "You're not part of it." And he just snatched it. He was like, "Yup, you played too much." - Oh. - Yeah. - I was like, "I'm willing to do it "to make people laugh." - Yeah. - Yeah. - You know what? - You're fucking spreading love. - Yeah. - You gotta watch out there. - If you're out there and you have my friend's mask, give it back, bitch. - Oh, and the pod later? - I put Chucky, I attacked someone on the subway. - I remember that. That made the rounds. - Yes. It was a new pose. - Yeah. - It was fun. - Okay. - So there it goes. - There it is. 26 seconds. - Yeah. - Wow. - Oh shit. You're not fucking around. - Oh my goodness. - My stars. - I thought that was Kathy Griffin. (laughing) - My employee's homie right now. - Were they in on it? - Yeah, the girl was with me. The girl. - Oh. - Okay. - That's Savo. - Poor guy. She's a good actor. - He would pose right now. - Oh, I mean I would have tasted this. - Damn, that's a face mask. - Oh my goodness. - That's pain. - That's like wrestling when they take the mask off. - Wow. - Wow. - That's Chucky. - Oh. - Don't touch a black man's hair. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. Hey, look at that. He's good to have you, Michelle Wolf. (laughing) And I'll be an independent Portland baby. Come on out. We added some shows, San Jose. We'd love to have you. That's the tech capital. Cap City Comedy Club, Bethlehem P.A., The Wind Creek, and Vegas at the Palazzo, Indio, California, IA, Charlotte, North Carolina. And that's Boston, Texas. So yeah, come on by Pittsburgh. We're making up a date. Well, yeah, Sammy. - That's a great hug. - Oh, watch the Washington Netflix special. Keep watching. Thank you, incorrect. On Netflix, getting a lot of nice love for that. November 13th through 15th, Phoenix stand up live. Following week in the Pittsburgh improv, then we got hollarities and Cleveland, all clubs I love Madison, Comedy on State. And then, got Macgubes and Timonia Maryland, Good Club. And then, you know, all over Florida, samerald.com/shows, punch up. See all these people on the road. We love you. Have a happy Halloween. - Happy Halloween. - It's a good show tonight, girl. - And Chuckie. - Yeah, I'm a gettin' on Rachel. All right. - Whoo. ♪ Sunday's the day for my next offender ♪ ♪ I've been a peaver wreckie know the future's close ♪ ♪ I've had a little too much bourbon ♪ ♪ And Norman's talkin' shit about the fuckin' post ♪ ♪ And I get down in the same way ♪ ♪ Up on the roof like a cop's comin' ♪ ♪ And they can send you well as feeling dangerous roasts ♪ ♪ I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans ♪ ♪ This woman doesn't look like I remember her ♪ ♪ And I get down in the same way ♪ ♪ We might be true ♪