H. Foley & Kevin Ryan - The Hourly Check - Episode 956

-Fill her up! -You're listening to the gas digital network. ♪ When you hit that bomb drop, drop, drop, you know what to do ♪ ♪ Hoping up the pit, bitch I'm coming through ♪ ♪ Big J, the battle rap champ ♪ ♪ All up in your ass with the strap, red attack, tag ♪ ♪ When it's easy in the building, you better believe it ♪ ♪ Never forget, okay then, got nothing on sleeve ♪ ♪ Puerto Rican rattlesnake, venom in your veins ♪ ♪ Natural born killers, lead to the skies ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ -Oh, hello, everybody, and welcome to your favorite podcast. To my right, as always, it's the great Steve Renner's easy. -Absolutely, baby! [ Cheers and applause ] -To my left, to Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Lewis J. Gomez. [ Cheers and applause ] -And I am Big J. Elkerson, and we are the legendary Legion of Skanks. Welcome to the show! -Key for life! -Three for life. -Yes. -Look at Lewis's head. -Three for life. -Oh, no, she's not showing it. -Hey, you're not showing it. -H-A-B for life. -No, you got to put your head up. -You got to tilt it back. -You're going to go up. -Up. -Now go. -Yeah, there it is. -Yeah! -Three for life. -Three-six life. -All right. -I think it looks cool. -Thanks, man. I think it looks cool, Jay. -I honestly did not when I saw it. -You saw it at first, you were upset. -On your Instagram, I thought it was going to be bad. -Oh, really? -Yeah, because I was like, "Is it real?" -J. Love's a irresponsible tattoo decision. -Yeah, yeah. -Jay's way in. -Yeah. -But it looks good, though. -Thanks. -Your glasses don't cover it. -Jay, you need to do the X in the corner of your eye. -I already got the eyebrow slice, dude. I'm working one thing at a time here. [ Laughter ] -Let's get our amazing guests up here. What do you say? Would we bring them together? -Yeah, sure. -Yeah, they're real. -Why not? Because they have a new special together, called American Garbage, available right now on YouTube. [ Cheers and applause ] -How about it for the RU Garbage Boys? Kevin Ryan and H. Poli! [ Cheers and applause ] [ Cheers and applause ] -Oh. -Thank you. -The people. -Thank you. -Hello, Skanks. -The people love Garbage. -Always. -I'm high-fiving, you, dude. -He did not do that. -He just went like that to me. -Fully cooked. -Fully. -Fully sunk. -Fully has such great hair. -Thanks, Bussie. -See, fuck you. -What? What's up, Skanks? [ Cheers and applause ] -He's pandering, dude. -He's down. -Yo. -Hey, guys. You can fuck a third cousin, right? -Yeah. [ Laughter ] -Whoo. -Welcome to the show, boys. -Thank you, sir. -Great to be here. -Yeah, thanks for having us. -We're specials doing great 200,000 views in 24 hours. -Yes, sir. -Corner Mill. -Corner Mill. -Maybe it rounds it up, baby. -We're doing. [ Cheers and applause ] -Wow. Yeah. -At least the camera went dark. -What the fuck is that? -I don't know. -It'll happen. -What? -Is that nut sack? He looks like a goddamn cadaver in a tank top. -Yeah. -He looked weirder outside with his hat on. -That one kid came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to wipe my ass in front of you today. I forgot that even happened, man." -Yeah, that's the kind of life I'm living in. -Oh, that's right. We were going to have them wipe their ass. -They did? -Oh, he did. -He did it. -Oh, I don't remember. -He surprised. -We smoking, what's it do? -Yes, sir. -Absolutely. -Oh, look, I'm excited about today's show. We have a huge show. Big announcements on today's show. -Absolutely. -There's a brand new crack in Mico song. I think we should go work with him here. -Oh, please. -No, we should go work with him here. -Yeah. -You see it? -No, I saw that it was coming today. -So, yeah, he, I guess, because Tom Segura and Christina P got divorced. -What? -Getting divorced. -No. -Just down it. -We took a swing. -I don't know. He took one of their sides. I don't know whose side he took. But I have an idea. -I have an idea. -Every time crack Mico released a song, I feel like we should pay respect. -You're 100%. -I'm going to tell the young man. -I'm going to have to call Segura and apologize. -Well, we don't know. -He might have taken Segura's side. -I have no idea. -We'll have to see. -Tom, I love you. -You want to do it now or do you want to wait for it? -Just set it. -Yeah, let's see. -Let's wait until next week. -Waiting for the gentleman. -The newest crack Mico song. What is it called? -Cool guy. -Cool guy. -This goes either way. -Tom Segura diss track as well. -Fuck. -Let's see. -I like Tom. Crack Mico does not speak for us. He speaks for himself and we support crack Mico. Crack Mico is a good one. -He's great. -He's great. -He's talented. -Love or hate the content. -He's good at it. -He's good. -Oh, hell yeah. -Even Segura will have to admit that this is great. I'm sure. -In a bit of a crack Mico's origin story, I apologize. We voted for him on real ass pot. -You were there for the episode that he became Crack Mico. -Yes. -Yes. -How do you hear that? -No. -He's responsible for the show. -Tom will have me killed. -I voted against him. -These guys are borderline executive producers in this show. -Christina P. Bit of a fluency. -Without further ado, Tom Segura is a cool guy. -There's a cool guy. -You really have what you have because of fans. I don't talk about it like that. -You're still a loser. -It's not on other people to make sure they don't talk about a topic that makes you feel bad. -You feel bad. -I have something that. -Oh, wait. I'm struggling with my business. -Figure it the fuck out. -You trade it and you're not a piece for a time piece. -I don't look to reach you behind it. -Go help your fine piece. -You let go of a good woman for some bad thoughts. -Gave up your piece of ass just to work your ass off. -Because you want to be a cool guy. -You'll be fucking rich. -I want to be a cool guy. -Go pale. -A cool guy. -So Segura is shutting down the sun. -I've got that kind of money. -No. -Tom's money's long, dude. -Well, how is it about to go out? -Turn the fucking lights on, is Jane. ♪ Out of touch and out of your mind ♪ ♪ Only 47 ain't even hit his prime ♪ ♪ Young and disengled, ready to mingle ♪ ♪ Hang out shit to be sad about ♪ ♪ I'm kind of confused, I look at the news ♪ ♪ The CJ Debbie Deb Mell ♪ ♪ This can't be happening ♪ ♪ I heard the news, I was sad and pissed ♪ ♪ I ain't even want to crack a dish ♪ ♪ I almost felt too bad to be rapin' this ♪ ♪ And I remember the rich as shit ♪ ♪ Remember the multiple businesses ♪ ♪ Remember the time he has laid to his greed every time ♪ ♪ He'd pull up in a different way ♪ ♪ Remember that he made a fortune off laughing at people ♪ ♪ And pay for his benefit ♪ ♪ Before if he get upset that I'm laughing at his thing ♪ ♪ He a hypocrite, so kind of champagne ♪ ♪ Mary Sling when my robber Paul Bears ♪ ♪ Help me carry this ♪ ♪ They say crack you horrible ♪ ♪ I think I'm hilarious ♪ ♪ Two bears that barely sit in them two chairs ♪ ♪ That there's embarrassing ♪ ♪ You bear to burn out ♪ ♪ Get back in the grave that you was buried in ♪ ♪ Man, talk about hateable, so unrelated ♪ ♪ We'll swear you a guard did a character switch ♪ ♪ I heard he call living in them ♪ ♪ Just tell 'em she found the divorce for the narrative shit ♪ ♪ How the fuck you gonna make fun of tape ♪ ♪ They go full imitation ♪ ♪ I made like you wearing a skin ♪ ♪ On the road every week like your pockets ♪ ♪ They've got his family wonderin' where is he? ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ Probably on a PJ cruise and not a tool ♪ ♪ Word of advice, don't take shit from stop ♪ ♪ Start to get sick of that door ♪ ♪ Take it as a loo ♪ ♪ It's one ♪ ♪ Kind of send it down to you ♪ ♪ We love you, we love you, we love you ♪ ♪ We love you, we love you ♪ ♪ We did the topic when I saw Christine and Pete cry ♪ ♪ My whole heart's on game ♪ ♪ Time should've known for prior experience ♪ ♪ Then he can't trust Duncan ♪ ♪ Just plain ♪ ♪ I'm joking ♪ ♪ I know she smoke it ♪ ♪ Rimming in parts and sippin' at wine ♪ ♪ You're dumb and know that she a bad bitch ♪ ♪ A bad bitch ♪ ♪ And she gon' hold it down ♪ ♪ She ain't with no sad shit ♪ ♪ Yeah, Christine, a bad bitch ♪ ♪ A bad bitch ♪ ♪ Her ex-hubbie and gay buddy ♪ ♪ Is a bad kid ♪ ♪ Don't treat me with any dime piece for a dime piece ♪ ♪ Out of luxuries you buyin' ain't gon' help you find peace ♪ ♪ You let go of a girl ♪ ♪ I've been full some bad thoughts ♪ ♪ Gave up your piece of ass just to work your ass off ♪ ♪ 'Cause you wanna be a cool guy ♪ ♪ You'll be fuckin' rich ♪ ♪ Yeah, I wanna be a cool guy ♪ ♪ Go pale ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Wanna be a cool guy ♪ ♪ A cool guy ♪ ♪ So back to like it too ♪ ♪ You're supposed to play the fool ♪ ♪ But you wanna be a cool guy ♪ ♪ A cool guy ♪ - Oh, yeah. - It's crackin' me. - Yeah, yeah. - It's crackin' me. - That was a crack. - That was a crack. - That was a crack. - I'll say why that shouldn't hit Tom bad in any way is that every guy at this table wants to be a cool guy. - I was gonna say every guy at this table wants to fuck Christina Pina. (laughter) - She look great. Holy shit, I never-- - She did. - A young Christina Pina's smoking. - Okay. - Okay, yeah. - She's fine now, but she was so hot back then. - I hope I'm dead and buried when crack comes after us. - Yeah. - Well, that'll be in three months. - Yeah, we're good. - To break Kevin. - To break Kevin. - Stop her and stop her and stop her and stop her. - I mean, that's also not like a-- It doesn't seem like it's a nasty to-- Dude, did you see the. the divorce stuff of Adam 22? - Oh my god, that's not clean. - Is that real now? - Oh yeah, no. He did a podcast about it, talking about it. It's such a funny-- if you could find clips-- - Lost half his dildos. - But it's just funny because he's like describing the thing. He goes, "What happened?" He goes, "I'm gonna take a lot of the blame here. "I haven't fathered the child at all." - Yeah, really? - He's like, "I really don't do much at all." And I was never there ever, and she just did everything. - I like that. - I like that. - Deadbeat dad is very out of fashion. I respect him. Bringing it back. - Just owning it. He's like, "Yeah, so I'm gonna not change anything, keep working." I guess, and we'll see how the kid turns out. - All right. - I'm sure it's gonna be great. - You're the child of a porn star in a way. - Oh, I know. You saw it coming because her porn went from-- I follow that part of it. Her porn went from like, "It was a big deal. "She fucked that black dude." - Like Jason Love. - Jason Love. - Jason Love. - And then she did a second scene with him. And that went, and now she's like, there's like 12, 15 things of her fucking all different guys. - I know more about the subject. - Make her dick. - Then the Gaza situation. Yeah, we're the straight of hormones me also. I don't know where those things are or what the problem is exactly or who controls it But I will say I do know exactly most of the names of the people that let out of the plug is fucked Yeah, I've heard the term straight-of-form moves so many times and I giggle when people reference it I'm like, haha. Oh, yeah like the straight-of-home moves I have no idea. I have no idea what it is straight-of-home moves is it a path along the water it's a ship-in lane Yeah, yeah, it's a water park in the Middle East Yeah, it's like sesame. Try the lazy river. It's what gun fall. Yeah, it's what lean of the plug calls her pussy Oh, he likes them so big those dicks put an oil tanker in there She did throw a ring off and Drake's face like that's pretty disrespectful Drake had a show I guess the knelt brothers or the knelt guys had a dick in the next bitch or something They were gonna get a girl and they had like really Phillips come out Is that where they hit the golf check he sat down? Yeah, yeah, he sat down with a one girl that was like 700 pounds But anyway, this lead of the plug came out and she like he's like aren't you married and she took her ring off and like threw it away Wow, like God, but that's my nightmare Thank you for Drake You're wife and your wife loves you my friend exactly But I like then you start to roll it. It's like who would my wife just disrespect like there are people that my wife would be Go fuck yourself fatty. If you would if Drake was raising your kids, you have to be like all right good kids go have fun it's Drake No, one time my my wife goes one time my wife Show hey, Otonis. She's like he's really good looking and I was like what all those here's thing to take Also, there's a time and if if you're with your chick for like a long time when they're young There's a time when you get upset from that like who they want their all-past to be you know I have such a crush on so I mean I couldn't say what I would do if so and so walked you know John Mayer walked me You go like oh, no, that's fucking so and then it gets to a point. We were somebody long enough where you're like you just know Everything about them where they go. Oh, you have John Mayer walked let me go John Mayer ain't fucking you Okay, yeah, go hit on them. See how that worked out. Would you get your wife a whole pass? No, I mean I mean you're her all-past bro. Yeah, I am the hall pass No, I wouldn't but she said showy Otoni was and I go really Tommy hit the baseball player That's fucking best-case scenario But I took my son was there and I go okay I'm like if you left me for showy Otoni would you be happy to my son who loves baseball? He's like absolutely It should be the best thing that's happened to our family It's like his Michael Jackson. Yeah, that's yeah, let him I would let showy Otoni unless my son If he made him into like half of the player, he could be Oh, there's something to think about right would you let your kid get molested by if you could get those persons power show Otoni the power probably the one access to their fun. Eight in lane no the powers Like if your kid got molested by Jim Carrey would he be the best facial contortionist comedian this absolutely dude Oh, somebody stop your kid. We're gonna get a facial nice Wait, he would take the powers or you take the powers for your kids being molested. No, your kid gets molested But the kids gonna get the powers in that molester. That's not how powers work, Joe It's also when you believe these are actual powers that we're talking. No, you're gonna get their talented abilities you suck their soul Yeah, have you seen that comedian that's kind of famous for looking like Jim Carrey? No, no, that's insane It's it's this girl looks like Jim Carrey girl I swear to God I can do the face and like that. She she's selling out. What do you do with doing Jim Carrey? Yeah, I don't I mean I that's the most I know of it. I'm somebody's this is so up your wheel house of the show Yeah, if he doesn't tour I guess that's cool, right? Yeah, the galator - yeah, there it is. Oh wow dude. She's smoking I'm stealing your material Oh, my God that poor girl. Oh Jesus Christ, dude man. I mean tell it talk about making the most of what God gave you It's like you know when you look like that. It's like well, I guess I'll just do an impression of man You think it's Jim Carrey my left and your kitty find that it's her Fuck she's talking out of her ass I don't have Jim Carrey money. I got Jim Carrey's look alike money. This doesn't make my algorithm. I get the Female comedians who have only fans that are super explicit. Yeah, and then I look up that name with the word leak next A lot of the they're using AI to steal female comedians jokes suit I saw that it's all over the place right now with hot comedians Yes, and then and then the girls get mad because they're like these people are stealing my jokes But it's not even a real person. You're mad at some fucking Asian dude. That's making an AI hot chick And you know what should be pretty good look betta look at the comments on them I did look at the comments on one and it's like this chick is super hot too bad. She's not funny Oh, they're just sitting all over the actual only thing that the comedian girl gave to it And Sherry she's not funny at all holy shit these jokes suck, but what I fuck those sets wow Speaking to a added you see that AI developer came out and said that there's a 10% chance Yeah, wipes us out in the next 10 years. Yeah, I heard by the end of this decade, which is what yeah two and a half three years Yeah, that's over. Yeah, that would be oh, yeah, this this was a hot caliber is So the girls have to wait who's AI their girl the pops AI depends on which one you like to the AI By the way, the thing about that it's gonna kill us in 10 years It's like are we just following the pet like we just did start sky net. Mm-hmm. It was like terminator We saw that goes let's try it though. Yeah, let's give it a shot that Hamilton will save us. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Yeah worst-case scenario what there's a post-pocalypse to war. Do you see like one of the guys is like we actually need legislation like We need guard rails. Yeah, like we have no way. We're gonna go crazy guys. You know, it's not gonna have guard rails China Well China's gonna make the most powerful. I said this way. We can't we have to beat China in the AI race. Oh my god It's just like to be so annoying. Yes, yeah, oh my god quiet demure So look there's some fun there's some fun stuff here I guess you're a robot boy. Hello Take me take me to your reader Something that's not AI. You want to get to this? This is the Sydney city watch the Do you want it with studio jokes? Oh, yeah, let's set up cake Calibrius and Austin me and Joe DeRosone only comedians ever to her podcast Oh, no, we're not creeps. This is big naturals big naturals. Oh, you call it the name for block. That's what I'll be there in what October Hello, big naturals. So you had the AI stole her joke. It's so funny Erested forgiving roadhead But the cop was like super nice He let me ride in the front Erested forgiving roadhead. Hell yeah, she's so funny, dude She's great. It's great great. Anything I got That's hilarious Why they make it like she's hot already. Yeah, yeah, they're because they just steal the jokes with another hot AI check the AI girl doesn't have a boyfriend God, it's true. Oh, yeah So what does this Sydney Sweeney thing? Oh, baby. This is not AI. This is real. You love Sydney Sweeney. Look. Yeah, she got she guy You've hit you've hit you've become dad creep. I know it's not over your phone over this child She's my son's favorite. Yeah, and I'm like guess what buddy. We got a lot in common Yeah, yeah, why she might also be my favorite as well. You guys should go to Spencer's and buy posters together Because she has that like the dog face but she got to go to show haze house this weekend Sydney's coming over I wish I'd give it up. Would you let your but would you let your wife bang show here if you could bang Sydney? Oh Yeah So hey, oh He's Japanese dude. I got a 5050 shot even though he's six five doesn't matter odds are he's got an average size Yeah, yeah, meanwhile rent is easy like I show me them Look at this ad look. I mean just people are upset over the ad. Why are they upset? You'll see who's upset. Yeah, everybody's upset We're upset. Well, we see all right. Let's see it Get the fucking lighting right Over here prove it No big is just works So they wanted a show Just works. Okay You can try this work And this work How about this This but nobody wanted the hockey uniform That's the one what an asshole. She said what about this one? We're just completely covered up. So go back to basketball. Yeah, sport sports sports You can't trade this I just look in here No, but I'm worse like that and no politics Right as easy as I pull it back to 28.5 seconds. Please I've no idea what this is an ad for no thing. Yeah, so fuck that It's a gambling site. It's a gambling site. Go back. It's just sports, dude Just sports just track it in the further back. Yeah, keep going to the bad That's crazy. No, no, no, listen, go back. Stop it. Go. Go to the hockey one. What are you guys 12 years old? -Yeah, crazy zoom in. -No, you can't zoom in, but I'm telling you. -We can watch the end of the plug at Gangbang right now. -We could? -No. -No, my mom's out. She's at work. -No way. -Not yet, not yet. She's not doing Gangbangs yet, but it's common. No, she's got was her ex-husband and a black guy. That was a good one, though. -Okay. Is there a chance they did the hockey one because if you look, this is where my eyes wouldn't be? -Oh, I know what you're talking about. -It'll be a toe. -A little bit of toe-go. -I see zoom in. -What toe? -I can't zoom in. -Not on her actual toes, you homo-- Are you fucking crazy, Hank? You started pointing at her toes. -Oh, a camel toe? -No way. -Let me see. -Why, very suggestive. -I think there's no toe, dude. -I think that-- -Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, go back. Yes, you're right. Thank you. -Wait, and you call yourself a free hold-on. -Hold on. -She's beefing. -Yes, when she goes into the squat, you see a little bit of lip. -Oh, go back. -Damn it. -God damn it, Harrington. -I need this. -Guys. I don't know if we're going to talk politics all night. -Yes, that's great. -The straight-ahore moves. -Bit. -Oh, it's so quick. -You get lip, and that's the whole thing. -Yes, I saw it. -I guess. -Well, it doesn't matter. It's still great. -It's a great ad. -Because think about it. It is four. -Okay. -I understand the women are upset. The means, women, in sports. But that's not what this is about. -This is women don't bet on sports. -I thought they were upset because she's doing a gambling. -Well, they don't want it. -Really? -Yes. People get upset about promoting gambling. -Men gamble on sports, and that's who this is for. -Which rather watch this commercial or Ben Affleck walking through some fucking casino being like, "Oh, I won today, and I won this, and I won that." -Neither. -You know, it's like-- -I would like the trans community representative. -Yes. -Thank you, Jay. -Yes. -So you had to mail a cheerleader at the Eagles game? -Oh, there's a bunch now. -Mail? -Oh, buddy. It's-- -Is this your first time wearing headphones? What the fuck is going on? -What the fuck is this? -It's so loud. -It's all flustered. -He's so loud. -See, it was like-- He just got to having sex with a hot girl. -Yeah. -I thought, "Bloom!" -Your mama showed just care about your school, then, boy. -I was sitting in a-- -Cheveled. -I was sitting in a friend's and family section once, and it was making me laugh when the first game that I went to-- -It was the Eagles game, the first time I went to an Eagles game that I watched. They had the mail cheerleaders on the squad. And they were going, and I was like, "Man, I wonder if somewhere in this section is a father of one of those mail cheers." And the person next to them, you know, some old black lady who's like the mother of a defensive line, and goes, "Which one's yours?" And he goes, "Uh, my son's dead." [ Laughter ] -It's God, where he tells you it's a monster one over there, a fucking twirly world. -Shut up to them. They're shaking it. There we go. -No, I mean, I just feel he's a tough town to be a mail fan. -I mean, they threw it right. They threw batteries at Santa Claus. How are they not throwing batteries at these mail cheerleaders? -And I don't think Jason's just getting in easily, right? -I'm telling you, these guys, but they work at Bitch, and I'll say it was funny. -They do. -Now they do a thing on the Jumbo Tron. They do a thing where they, when they come out to do their routine, they do like a-- they show all individually if they're named. You know, it'll be like, "Kaley, Charlotte," but, you know, all-- and doing like some kind of a move. And then it'll be like, you know, it's like, "Chad." -He does his fucking- -Gary. -I mean, his individual page. -Is it just, like, do they just hire them because they know it'll go viral and people will talk about it? -No, because everybody's doing it with his four-year-old. -Very progressive city. -Is this every-- every-- -Pretty much-- -Pretty much. -The city of London loves. -That's how it's happening. -The brother-- brother who love you, right? And there we go. -Look at this. -We're watching Parker. -Watch this guy's killing it. -Can I tell you something? -Look at it. -When I was in high school-- -Shit! -Let's go! -Guys, can we talk about how good this is? -They already have somebody to just tackle them right now. But think back. When we were in high school, do you remember the big-- the other member's name. But there's definitely a Jackie Robinson pioneer, first black guy. Remember there was one black guy in hockey? I think on the Tampa Bay Lightning. It was the biggest fucking news. Now, every team's got several black people. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Lea Roy Jenkins, I think it was-- -Yeah. -Lea Roy Jenkins. Goddamn it, me Roy. John, high-tower, Sullivan, coming after the Senators. -High-tower. -High-tower's a great black guy. -Yeah, I mean, if I'm from Philly, I'm not even from Philly and it kind of makes me angry. -Really? What do you give a fuck? -I don't, but it's just-- -Look at the chase. It shouldn't be. -Why not? -Why? -There are a bunch of-- -It is! -Because it turns me on, man. -It's not. -But it's not meant for fucking like-- -What? -For football, right? -Are you Andy Rooney? -It's just not looking around. -I don't like males. -No, that's easy. -Shake, and then that. -Let's do a script walk, and that's cool. -Yeah. -It's just a little zesty, that's it. He's going from the streets. -There's a little zesty. -What are we talking about? -By the way, I rather be hippy to the little inside. -Is that Bobby Kelly in the corner? Did you see that? -Look at him. -Nice ass, dude. -But dude. -You know what, dude? -Oh, look at that. -How did you prick, dude? -Can I say the problem? I don't want to see a ball daint on the field, dude. -Here's what I got to say, though. The fact that they're cheerleaders is what's so jarring. Like, the basketball teams have like, spirit squad type guys that come out. -It's like a dance team. -But it's sort of like dance, but also just like dunking and talking shit. -Men can't hold pom-poms. That's crazy. -That's they're doing like the girl's job that was like a girl's job. -Yeah. -They paid them 70% on the dollar, though. -Oh, that'd be great. -You know what'd be great? It should be all male cheerleaders for like the fucking WNBA. -Oh, I like that. -We did that for a big tough fight. -Just like male strippers. They did that for Invicta Fighting. They had mail ring, ring, ring, ring, card boys. And they did it for one event. And then we're never doing this again. And did they get booed? Yeah, we're 1,000 chairs running through the ring, like ECW. Imagine you showed up on the night of Ringboy Night. You're so much inside. I'm already watching Ringboy Night of All Night. I heard that fact was there on Ringboy Night. Come inside with a dollar dog night. What's his name? What's the guy with the same name? CP, cerebral Paul. Can you get me one of those things, too? And how's he going to carry? And a beer, two for the hilarious, thank you. Yeah, it's going to be great. You'll see him about 45 minutes. Hey, can I help? No, no, no, no. He's going to be fast, but some of it might end up on you. Hey, CP, can I get a half a light call, please? The faster you go, the less there is when you get there. I'll take a martini's shaking. Shake and stirred, flipped, empty. Yeah, dropped, picked up. That's our boy from the contest. I got to tell you, you're a martini's brother. A martini I wouldn't do because there's two shallow. Two shallow. Of course. I used to spell martinis all of course. And we didn't just get to do it. Yeah. Pat and French fries. Hey gang, football season is finally back. That's right, Skanks. And you have your favorite team. We all know I have mine. And prize picks is bringing out their best offer. Yet new users who sign up for prize picks will get $150 in line ups if you win your first $5 line up. And prize picks is now available nationwide. What are you waiting for? Lock in for kickoff because everyone and everything is on prize picks. It's a very easy, very, very easy to use app. You simply get the app. You download it. You pick two to six players across any sport. And you're just going against their projected stats. So if they're projected to get two touchdowns a quarterback, you're going against more or less than that. And I just go racially. 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Then you use the code skanks and you get 30% off. Your subscription ships regularly and discreetly with free gifts and free shipping on qualifying orders. Don't forget when you order, let them know that we sent you Indyclad.co code skanks for 30% off. All right, let's get back into it. So, can we real quick? I found a video that I thought Jay would appreciate, which is this athlete that had a little bit of an accident while competing. What happened? I hate this female athlete. Why would I appreciate it? You're gonna see, you're gonna see. It's a female athlete. You love female athletes. I find that hilarious. That is very true. Those are the people mad at Sydney Swini. They're the female athletes. Oh, also, did you see-- Carol's part. Not kidding, we're going to open it. What's the other girl's name that all the Republicans like? Sophie Cuttingham. She keeps only dunking her black people and yelling at them and she's the whole pointing at her. She came out? She didn't dunk on anybody. No, not-- I mean, no. But she-- Don't really dunk. Yeah, yeah. Well, clarifying it. She did the pointing thing at the black players and all like Anthony Coomy was online. She's like, she's a perfect woman. A picture came out. She's dating a black guy, and now Republicans are losing their fucking minds. It's so fun. He's also a cheerleader for the Eagles. Chad, it's a little bit of a double-edged sword for the Republican guys. It's a lock going on. Fuck, I don't know how to roll his piss. It's a real confusing Sunday. I'm dead. Sorry, one thing at a time. This is the-- this is the athlete. It's a Hydrox athlete. Oh, I saw this. Joanna White-- She got banned. She was barred? Yeah, she got banned from, like, competing. What happened? You'll see. What is this? She's such shitting down her legs, dude. Oh, dude. That happens. No, she's just doing-- Oh, my god. She must be on that bound. Oh. I thought it was like a tough mother. It is. [LAUGHTER] She's actually banned. I thought she, like, scaled a wall of mud or something like that, dude. Don't eat it. Don't eat it. Don't eat it crap, boy. Oh, man. She just slid into third base during a rainy day. Dude, when did this happen? She actually got banned from-- oh, my god. She actually got banned for wearing blackleg. Oh, when people like, dude, just stop. You stink. You smell. That's crazy. She squat down. Oh, my god. What the fuck is that guy? He's kind of-- Listen, people's will do not give a shit. That's something like that. Is hit in all time, huh? You know it's now, like, do we talk about this everyone in the show that it's like common practice at festival concerts now? The people wear diapers. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, why? They don't want to go to the bathroom. They don't lose their spot. What concert? Is that any festival? Festivals. You know, you're there all day. You're like, I'll just-- The girl, Olivia Rodrigo, she made complaints about her. She went on some show and started talking about, like, it fucking smells so bad right now in the stage, because everyone's been shitting in their pants all day. She's great, though. That talent, that girl. Talent. Very talented. Talent. You know, we know where to look if she's missing. I got her. I just patting her. There's, I don't-- How-- what's the top prize on this set? What's the top prize on this set? Well, she went, yeah, like-- What did she shit her cycle on? Like, it's like a million dollar price. There's no way-- There's a lot of the game, man. Love it. She must have no parents. It's a very small medal. She's parentless. Bola chili. Do we have an answer for that? Oh, he could eat habaneros. Alex. What a terrible life. Epicet Martini. Top prize is $40,000. That doesn't work. All right, I said up $40,000. Yeah, man, shit your pants on a national TV for-- I shit my-- You're a girl. I go for a grand, I'm jammed up. I'll shit my pants right now for that 100. If-- no, for 40 grand, listen. In her world, that's like, come on. Yeah, I get why she would be like, I'm not losing. I've trained all of it for this 40 grand. Yeah, I'm not losing it, 'cause I have to-- Did she win, 'cause she finished the race? Oh, she didn't win, it's there. She did win, but then she was bound. And she won. And she won. That's-- now I'm on her side, dude. If I shit myself, there's no such thing about it in the rules. It says, you can't shit yourself. For the game. For the love of the fucking event. It's in the rules. It says you can't shit yourself. Doesn't a hydroxy cut make you shit yourself? Is there-- aren't there the sponsor? Yeah, it does. Yeah. Listen, when someone wants to go for it, they got to go for it. I don't know if you've-- I just watched a great documentary about the Wing Bowl. Amazon Prime now, you should watch it. It's Kevin. Kevin was there. Right. I recommend that there was one year where a guy was going-- and this is going to make me sick thinking about it. He was eating the wings, and he said, it happened sometimes, which I've never seen happen. There was some feather. Oh, yeah. You've never seen a feather? You never called a feather? That would-- honestly, God-- I would never eat chicken in the rest of my life. That's what they call the-- That's why I've never seen a feather. Is that old hat that happened? That's what they call the eagle's male cheerleaders, the feathers. But he got it in his mouth. Birds of a feather. He got it in his mouth and started eating it, and he swallowed it. And then he started feeling he was going to throw up because of just what happened. He was overeating at the point. And the audience was looking and they made a big deal about it. And then he just fucking stands up and like, projectile of armor. You can probably find that clip. Oh, I don't know. Oh, look, that's a shrimp. That's a big shrimp. That's a big shrimp. That's a shrimp. I thought it was a little white feather. That was going to be attached to the wanker dude. That's crazy. If I ate that, I wouldn't eat that. You could put that in a hat and look cool. Dude. My man. That's a fucking pin. Oh, that's the joke. That's what high tower wears. That's a pimp wing right there. That's crazy. That's crazy. I can't even look at that. Bro, I never thought that would make me sick. You got to brush that wing. You got a lot of blue cheese for that. That won't get still fly. Jake, what about chicken salad sandwich? You got a piece of cartilage. Done. But it won't make me never eat chicken salad again. It'll buy me about six months where I would-- No, I'll eat it. Where I would do a six months where I won't eat it. OK. Dude, that would be a poison eat from stuff. It's still eatin' it out. Yeah, I've got it. I mean, I'd like chicken fingers once in a place called Ship of Fools here in the city. And they were fucking raw on the inside. And I bid into it. You got that raw chicken thing. And I didn't eat chicken fingers for six years. But you come back exactly. You never run wild with a Wonton? You don't know what's in a Wonton, dude. And how do you pinpoint which Wonton fucked you up? There's always one weird one in there. It tastes funny. Yeah, well, you're like, god damn, that's not right. It's how to get you. But it's already over. Do you have the guy throwing up a wing bowl? Well, anyway, I was going to say about champions. I'll show it. I was going to say, that's pretty hilarious. Well, by champions, when he did that, the people that were next to him on either side said, like, throw up got all definitely on their chicken wings. Oh, they never stop. Oh, now that's a competitor. That's a competitor. Dude, you got to wipe those wings. No, this isn't. They'll bring you other ones. Oh, it looks like me. That's not the guy. Just let me know if you're going to show it. I won't go with him. You can't watch. He can't see any. He can't see any. Can you be honest with me? This one's pretty funny. I'm with you. It's almost cartoonish. But what if it goes wrong? Pukas never throw up. If you guys were-- I almost-- But that feather wing almost got me. That almost got me. This does not get me. I can't help you. If I smell pukas, I'm gonna throw up. Me too. Yeah. I can't do it. My son, I can clean up his pukas, and I can clean up my dog's pukas. Any other pukas. Could you clean up his pukas? I bet as he gets older, those things change, though. Yeah. He hasn't puked in years, obviously. But when he was like three-- He pukes different now. Yeah. But three is one thing I'm saying. When he gets like 13, 14, you're like, you can clean it now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, here it is. Oh, I've seen this guy. Yeah. I'm looking at his face. I can't handle it. He doesn't look like young Joe Rogan. He does. Can he do it yet? This is him now. This is Fred Durst. He's pretty funny. Purple mascot. He's patting me on the back. He will pat me on the back. I'm gonna throw up. My girl's there. I'm crying. I'm-- And he held it back, and held it back, and held it back. This is a whole documentary. Oh, so good. It's been so good. I've been so good. Mostly about the El Wingedor. Yeah, El Wingedor. Who won many years? Then went to jail. For seven years came out, and they welcomed them back. They welcomed the back of the game. Like Tyson. Yeah. Heroes welcome. I've seen that. I've seen that. You came out of prison. Do the wingbow. I've seen a wing, baby. I've seen a wingbow. It's a-- I've seen a wingbow. I've seen a wingbow. I've seen a wingbow. It's a-- I've never done one before. I love that. I love that. I would love that. Blessed, would you do it? I would do it. I wouldn't do it. There's certain foods I won't do. I would do wings with feathers. That's what we're doing. I would do wings. I would do-- Oh, with feathers. I would do a Dunkin' Donut. The whole, the Dunkin' Whole. Like, we get a box of 50 and sprinted. I thought about it. It's got to be more like a-- What about a Coke-off or something like that? [LAUGHTER] Well now we're thinking out loud. This is why we do the brainstorm session, spitball. That chicken's a bad idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just thinking that it might lead to the thing. That might lead to the thing. So she's a lot-- I think it's got a California Rolls. No, I think it's going to be like the fucking the ones. Like they got fucking hot dogs, chicken wings, something. I would think there's lines I would do, right? We did the 999, yeah. What did you get the 999? What's a New Orleans thing that would be like fuck? So I'm going to free the boys or something. At two-fay? How much-- Everybody has to do a gown, a jumbalaya? Oh, I like a jumbalaya. Yeah. I do like a jumbalaya. Or no, binyes. Oh, I would fuck up. Dude, a binye. 25 binyes. They're almost-- Yeah, Jesus. That's the New Orleans Saints dancer, boys. The binyes. The binyes. The benders. And welcome the binyes. I'll clear what-- Here's not a lot of powder and sugar, Chad. If you want to just steal the idea completely, what they did was great to find out who's going to be competing in the eating contest. That's the best. They have to submit. Oh, yeah. They can't be here. But on the radio show, 6, 10, that was the thing that sponsored it all. They would go in once. They went in on the people who want to be challenged. And do their own. And so there's people in the-- Can a corn? Mr. Fluff would do like four pieces. Like a whole thing of Fluff. Yeah, multiple-- they have to show a feet of something. Yeah. Hang on the girl from the Godsmack album covers here. Stand up and get that approval you're from again. Here you go. By the way, I had to move Pamela. Pamela tried to sit right here again. And the last time she was behind us, she just was making dumb faces all the time. Until she fell asleep. Yeah, the amount of people that were furious that Pamela-- Oh, they weren't very upset. I had a fucking mover because she was going to sit back there and make it about her again. Pamela, how can you be so annoying that you could have a fucking heart surgery scar and people still are angry at you? Yeah. Pamela, we were willing to kill you. Do you remember when we were willing to kill Pamela? I'm going to electrocute you to death before-- but that was before you became a US Marshal. All right. This girl's got quite the backstory. I mean, if Pamela comes over to be on camera, Po, tackle her to the ground and beat the shit out of her. I know. What about it, Po? It's a girl. That girl can't stop that kid up. If she comes towards the stage, you have to attack her. With your cane. Protector, like, you're taking care of your brother, which is one of the funniest facts I always forget every week, that you're a caretaker for your brother is one of the fucking craziest things. But to be fair, cerebral pals brother died years ago. It was just a corpse in his basement. OK, so he just has to change his clothes every day. Yeah, dude. They get baggier and baggier. We get cerebral pals. Look, we should talk about this real quick. Before we-- there's a big announcement we have to make in a minute, which is great. So let's talk about this. Charlie Kirk has a statue in Times Square. What? It was delivered on a rental truck. So let's see, I saw somebody defaced one of his statues. That was a different one. Somebody painted the neck red and put blood splatters everywhere. Who's this? Louis J. Gomez. Charlie Kirk. Charlie Kirk. Somebody made a statue brought in Times Square on the most heavily advertised truck you've ever seen your love. That's not a great statue. No, it's terrible. By the way, it's him leaning in for the hum before his fucking neck explodes. Why don't you get a fucking more peaceful moment? Yeah, the gym or something. Yeah, just a little stuff on the treadmill. Just like a family picture arm around his wife. Are you even pointing at a fucking trans and being like, you dumb bitch lady? You dumb bitch man lady? His hands are humongous. Look at the size of those fucking hands. Artists are never great. Look how teeny his one hand is and how gigantic is other hand. So we're choice to put them in shoulder pads too. Yeah, the quarterback pads, though, there's a small one. This is the unveiling. Everybody what the hell is? The face isn't terrible. By the way, face is pretty good. By the way, for a second, he's looking at a Muslim lady when he had the rap. They put all the time into the face and then they were like, oh, fuck, we got to get this body together. Oh, hey, why don't we get a more racistly looking guy? Really, it has to be a fucking Hitler guy in front of him. Yeah, that guy looks big. Look at that sign, man. It's also. That thing is pretty sharp, yeah. He never looked at you. You never looked at a bullhorn. Wait a minute. Dude, that's wrong. That depot truck. That's crazy. So, wait, is it? That's my favorite part, dude. The 19-day-old. Oh, my God. You know that he had to get illegal guys to help him put that in in the parking lot. Yeah. But apparently, sorry about your friend. He seems like nice guy. Guys, we got a commission in a statue because apparently you can just do a statue in time. So you can just do it. You can get a statue. There's a price for all kinds of weird things. Me and Ari-- That's $18 bucks to run a truck for a thing. Me and Ari got 15 or 30 seconds on the Times Square billboards to promote a show we did. You could get that. There's a price for these things. It isn't that crazy as you think. We could have a fucking three-for-life Legion of Skanks statue erect. Well, you can. There we go. You can do it. Steve for life. Oh, my God. That's great. That's cool, man. That's cool, man. What is that? Is that AI? No, that's not real. Is it? Do you remember? That was a time that we used to make you uncomfortable. This is Montgomery's New York. This is what you get. You get three homosexuals in Times Square kissing each other. No, no, no, no, no. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. Charlie Kirk's turning over in his grave. With the shoe chants and small waist. They pretended that Steve liked it here, but Steve was freaking out. Steve, I was so nervous. It's right before you freaked out. That's why my package is in as big as it normally is. That's why. If we were. We could find a way to somehow erect. Is this statue erect made? Yes. Get this up there in Times Square. I think we will go. We will go national news. They would have to cover this. This statue is. I thought. I love it. I love with all the stuff going on in New Yorker like this would top the chart. This would be national news. Listen, it's so fucking. It's so gay friendly. It is. And by the way, Steve粉 is easy ostracized 9/11 liar. He has showed accepting two gays. Put it down at the World Trade Center. Yeah! Put it between the two lights they blast in the air. Hey, can't say you weren't there. That's right. It's in memoriam. It's in memoriam. This was 9/12. Yeah. Oh my god. That should be the name of the statue, 9/12. That's great. Speaking of 9/12, Jay, you lost $1,000 bet to me. Oh, he made it. I can't be honest with you. I never thought you were going to pay me anyway, so it's fine. But it's. It sounds so. I also. No, I also misunderstood. I thought you were taking it like. You went to Rockland. The first time you did. No, I didn't go to Rockland. I went to between exit two and exit three on the policy. It's Parkway. How much further did you just did? Not crazy? Like a mile, two miles. Okay, all right. Then yeah. I didn't think you were going to do it. What time did you stop? I thought you were going to not stop. I didn't want to stop for me. This fucking statue. That statue would cost three million dollars. That's 15 feet high, that's all bronze. We got a 20 feet high. We know bronze. 100,000. Yeah. The hardest parts can be stood still for a while, but this thing is under 110 grand. One out of 10. You're out of your mind. A bronze set, a 20 foot tall bronze set. It's gonna be two foot. That's gonna be two foot. That's going to be in with the bronze right there. You make it 10 foot. Make it 10 foot. Harrington, can you show what bronze closed? Oh, don't. Please, please. I'm kidding. He's the JV guy we got in right now. Yeah. This is like a while. Don't throw on too much. He's freaking out. What about a 3D printer? No. Yes, we get 3D printer. That's great. No, no, no, no. Listen. We have an artist who's listening right now who will make this for under $10,000. bronze? No, it's gonna be bronze. A statue. Any statue. Do the chocolate. Paper mache. Paper mache. It's fine. It could be really cool if you let an artist do it. Of course. We can unveil it at Stankfrest. A bronze statue of the three of you would run us between 150 and 705. How about a paper mache? $1,000? Yes. Oh, I thought she said $100. That's cool shit. It's done. I'm gonna make everything bronze. I want one for my backyard. How about this? Alex, double check. What's the cheapest material to make a statue out of? And what would it cost to make that statue in that material? Do you know how difficult it would be to carve a statue? Literally. Why are you a dream killer? What the fuck are you trying to do? You're a dream. You guys thinking like a bitch. Are you a person who would be an idea guy? Fucking, let me fucking have the thing. I think it's great. I think you should do it right now. If it's cheap enough, Jay will get a statue of a team mom shitting in his backyard. Now, my backyard is there for the people. What? The cheapest statue would be a concrete statue. Okay. And how much was that cost? I'm an Italian from Long Island. I got a concrete guy. Yeah. There you go. Don't worry about it. How you gonna move that? Well, can Gave Line Mike to get his fucking outfit together? Good luck getting the concrete guy to do that. And the two guys are gonna kiss him. I can't do that. Yeah. I got to do a pool. Nice. Come on. It would still be about six grand. Okay. That's fine. We're going to pay for it now. Look at the paper mache. Paper mache. I'm okay. Five grand. That'd be five grand, yeah. We're going to somebody made one out of Legos. Legos artists. Oh my god. That's going to be a lot of money. That's a lot. That's a lot more. Legos are expensive. You're right. So here we go. Paper mache would be my go with five grand. We're going to five grand. Do six grand for concrete. Better hope it doesn't rain. And then we can have someone transport it. We got to transport it. We're going to transport it. We're going to transport it to somebody with a fucking rental. I have a guy. I can do it. Yes. He's got that thing, a trailer. The Lego one would cost half a million. Jesus Christ. What the hell? Half a million is the same. That's in the budget. I'm telling you, we have a fan that can make this happen. I'm telling you. The three of us. Yes. We have a friend, Shane Gillis. Call him. He could pay for the Legos statue. Legos. And Shane was hilarious. He would buy us a half a million dollar Legos statue. He really would. Listen. When this thing hits World Star hip hop, we're not going to want it to be Legos. We're going to want it to be our likeness. This thing is going to go big. We're putting this thing right in the middle of Times Square. It's not going to hit World Star. Yo, yeah, Will. No, it won't. Want to bet? Bet me that $1,000 back. It's up to $750,000. It's all we've had. I got that, I got that G hanging over my head. It's always hanging. It can always bounce back and forth. Bet me a thousand dollars. I bet you a thousand dollars that if we get a statue, we will get a statue. It's going to happen. It won't hit World Star. Why do you, you know, wait, you don't believe it? Because it's not your idea. Yeah. Get behind me for once. $1,000. $1,000. $1,000. Hang in there. Jailgate, you know, World Star? Yeah, maybe. Have you been on World Star? Never once. Dave's been on World Star a couple times. Have you ever been on World Star? I think he has. Look it up. I promise you he hasn't. I know who's been on World Star. Wait, have I been on World Star? Maybe. Maybe you've been on World Star. You may have been on World Star, yes. This motherfucker. Ha! Dude, I really love it to see. Look up, she's the heart about me. Why people be crazy? By the way, if they didn't bring me up, is it really that bad? No. If the whole black community didn't think what I did was bad? No. It's not bad at all. Thank you, man. But I'll say this. Look up, Steve, look up. Look up. Look up. Look up. Lie 9/11. No, no, let's not. What the fuck? That would come out. That would come out. That's what I'm going to bring. You're a sleeping dog. Yeah, let's sleep a dog. But they might not have it under fucking Remzizi. It's World Star hip hop. They're not going to fucking figure out it's no Remzizi. That's true, dude. Steve Rom. Steve Palm is easy. Pomo. Steve, Remzizi. Steve, Remzizi. Steve, Remzizi. Steve, what was going on in the pilot? It's in 9/11. Steve, weezy, Steve. Easy, easy. She. Lion asked, "Mother fuck." I would fucking be honored if I was on World Star. You might be. What do you mean? Maybe all about it. You ever see Black dudes only all jumping a car together after an accident? What the fuck are you like, guys? I was crazy. Hey, fuck him up. No, dude, I love that. I thought I thought I thought I was going to be a world star hip hop. And you'll see, I get bummed there's a lot of people that have gotten on there. A lot of white guys. Gary Owen. We're Gary Owen for sure. Of course. Yeah, Gary Owen. Just random like shit. And I'm like, come on. See one of our friends. Like, do we have friends? Gary Owen? Shout out Gary. You ever see where Gary Owen narrates the back and forth between your security guard the waiter and the whole black guy? No. It's the funniest fucking clip. Gary Owen. Pull it up. I always say. I hope to meet him one day because Gary Owen is a comedian. You never met Gary Owen. Okay, right here. Hold on. I'm going to figure you guys are roommates at some point. Joe, we're going to Dave Smith on if Israel is rooted in terrorism. On World Star, 100%. Right here. Joe, we're going to Dave Smith's share of the thoughts on the Iranian president dying from helicopter. That's on twice. That's on twice. Twice has been on World Star. Nice. They got bought by Fox. Well, that one doesn't bother me because it's about people. What? He's co-star on that World Star headline. It's comedians. The comedy set stuff that I'm always like, when it's always like destroys heck. No, I'm just saying Dave Smith has been on World Star. Yeah, but I'm literally orchid with me. That's a co-star. He's Israel. I say he's been on World Star. I'm saying, but I'm talking about as far as comedy stuff goes. I'll bet you $1,000. There's no reason on World Star. I want a crazy cracker lies about 9/11. You need a headline like that. Or say what it is. A headline that's about you. It's a lot of, like, heckler. Like people be trippy. It's just your picture. They got plenty of heckler shit. But never me. I've never had anything. I've had so many great stuff of that. You're just a viral with hecklers. It's like shuts down heckler. Most of the stuff's fabricated shit. And I'm like, I have some of these videos that were real. You do very well in the black. I mean, never made World Star hip hop, though. Still, never. There's still a chance. You do it. This is it. You're going on Rogan next month. Talk to him about some. The statue. Is really shit. No, the statue. Why would that statue make World Star? I don't know. It would. Because it's going to be a time square of things with people. Like, what the fuck is this? Somebody's not kissing over Steve Ren is easy. 9/11. 9/11 plotter. We're going to call the statue 9/12. Steve's not only lied, but afterwards, he hung out while his friends. Frinched his stuff. Frinch, spit it out. Look how comfortable this guy was. 9/12. He wasn't even frazzled by his bullshit. He was nowhere near the towers. He was at a gate. He was at a gate, Michael. That's why you lied and said he was there. Listen, I wasn't in a Turkish bath. I just knew about it. I didn't believe it. I didn't believe it. I was there. I was in World Trade 7. World War 54. Let's call. Like the studio, you know. Let's call the statue the reason. And we'll be like, they want to know that I was so comfortably hanging out in a gay situation. I was lying. I was lying. No, I was in 9/11. Because us kissing over his head was his 9/11. That's how much he hates gay shit. Let's do some plugs real quick. I mean, we have a lot more show. You guys have it a good time. Obviously, everyone's having a great time. I'm having a good time. We're all having a great time. I'm having a fun. Go check out American Garbage on YouTube right now. Thank you. Kevin Ryan, AIDS Foley, or your garbage. A long time friends of the show. Two of the funniest guys on the planet. You're going to throw plugs, the Foley. He never does. He panics. He panics and just sends it over to Kippie. What? Foley. What do you plug in my friend? I wasn't 9/11. Brand new special out on YouTube. American Garbage. Me and Kevin. Down in Tampa. Slide splitters. We got a brand new tour. The Army and Garbage tour starts in October. Get your ticket. Sorry. Are you Garbage? We're going to be in Appleton, Tacoma, Chicago. All over the place, so get your tickets. They're going quick. Yeah. Come on, Bob. It's so hard. It's so hard for everybody for watching this special so far. It's cooking and we're very proud of everything. Yeah. Share with a friend. We love you. Come on, Bob. Fire. We are. World Star. It's already booked. Nice. Come see me on the road, guys. Go to my website, Lewisofskanks.com. They round on me this tour, wrapping up a strong year. Lots of fun. This week in Empire Comedy, La Portland, Maine with the great Nick Rocher for it. Then after that, I got Brokridge Comedy Club, Belmore, New York, Rochester, New York. After that, North Charleston, South Carolina. We're doing some story wars at the mothership. We're doing story wars at the Comedy Store. Skankfest is right around the corner. Can't believe it. Three live legion of Skank shows or 10th anniversary of Skankfest. So get those Skankfest tickets before they are gone. Skankfest.com. Shout out to your creatives for making it an impossible. Subscribe to the guys. If you love the show, we do a bonus Friday night hang. Just three of us. You guys can subscribe. Get the uncensored ad free version of the show. Pre-release from all the episodes. Over 900 episodes in the on-demand library. All ad free and uncensored. Plus the racist live chat. Don't sleep on the racist live chat. Go to gastageover.com. Download the apps. All that good stuff. Save a couple bucks a month with the promo code LOS. And last but not least, buy my book, Knives and Spoons. Available. And a hard cover. The audio book is coming out an audible any day now. I'm waiting to get the confirmation on that. So. Steve, yeah, baby. Steve, yeah, baby. Clarities in Cleveland, I'll be there in November for that. Obviously I got the skank fest. I can't wait for that. Where's 20 years younger Steve going to be before? You're fucking, hey? God almighty. Where is? Who's that guy? So beautiful. I love your pictures from so not that long ago. It's great. You're going all crazy. Who is Steve? Brand is easy. Anyway, yeah, I got more dates. I'm adding to that. I got some stuff on New Year's in the ad. And going back to the mothership January. So look for more tick-a-steebred as you can dot com. Yeah, boy, bigjcommy.com for all my dates. Mugubi's joke house into Mayoney and Maryland coming up next weekend. Paco is going to be there with me. Well, I guess Tristan Bowling is going to be there. Josie Marcellino is going to be there with me. It's going to be a fun fucking weekend. Cleveland halarities. After that, scroll up so much more. Oh, Emerald City Comedy Club. My first time out in Seattle in a long time. First time at that club. Comedy works downtown in Denver, Colorado, and so much more. Greatest yapper life to we're happening now. Get your tickets bigjcommy.com coming to us. City near you. I never stopped listening to the Bonfire five days a week. Factual Talk Series XM 103. And of course, story wars right here on Castigel Network. And you know, watch the Kevin Hart roast. It's still on Netflix. And then before, listen, before I do Philly in December, which is I'm doing after Christmas for a couple of days before that weekend, I have to be able to make an announcement. So fun, fun news coming very soon, everybody. Stay tuned. [APPLAUSE] What are you clapping for? This is scary. This is so misty. He's got the right thing. He's got bootyhole cancer. Guys, I'm announcing my asshole cancer. Jay's a new cheerleader for the Eagles. Once they saw my car wheel, they had to have him. I'm not gay. So we have a second half of the show, a very fun show planned. So we should make an announcement, right? Of course. I think it's a pretty amazing thing. Alex and Harrington, Harrington, here on the one hand. This is appropriate. Let me lay this cigarette for this. Yes, this is the right time. I'll have one too. I'll have one too. I think you should have one too. Thank you. I wish I smoked again, but I'll pull out a vape. Good man. I was vaping for a little while. It's so funny, because the beats of Steve leaving the show would be you lighting a cigarette. So it sounds like we're about to do that. Was that on purpose? Dual. Yes. Well, here's the thing. Alex and Harrington, obviously, they started off in the spring-turn Olympics or the internal Olympics, the original. The first family of Dast's edge at all, have an amazing daughter, or we love her. She's so cute, so adorable, so amazing. So Alex and Mike, you're opening up their relationship to three sums. Yay! Yeah, I want to piece it out Harrington. Let's do it here first. But what's amazing is we found out that Alex is not getting fat. We all thought she was getting fat in the past. I genuinely did. We were having a meeting about it. We were like a month, we were like, wow, Alex. I told other people I go, Alex is like fucking Ethiopian building. Is that because she was pregnant, because I was going on? It's like flies hanging around her face. Harrington's losing all this weight. Alex is gaining all this weight. It was disgusting. We talked behind your back for weeks. Weeks, we were worried about you. Horrified. Yeah. I go, what are you eating? Fucking porridge. Yeah, we would do a pig-sound effect when you leave a room. Yeah, we're like, ew. We-- we-- I can't do it. We-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- we-- I don't think any of that's right. That pig on a roller coaster, yeah. Wee! We actually trained a spider to write messages in its web. It was a whole bit. But what's amazing is Alex is pregnant with her second child. Yeah. [APPLAUSE] Who got to you, Camp Patterson? That's Adam 22, Adam the Plug. Congratulations, Mikey. Yeah, Mike. Mike Harrington. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Mike Harrington, full of testosterone. He is. This guy only hits home runs. Yeah, dude. Two three pies, two babies. The Harrington fucking shoots thick, thick fucking, almost solid come. Oh. I know. I think you punch all the blood out of his brain into his balls. Congrats, guys. Good work, man. I hate the target. Yeah. Well, you guys did this one on purpose, which literally nobody does, which is a crazy thing. I know a single person that's purposely got their chick pregnant. That's nuts. It felt crazy, yeah. I'm like, why would anybody do this? It's a crazy idea. You got to start the whole thing over. Yeah. Yeah, so this is pretty crazy. So we, Alex, we're very excited for you. So we've prepared a handful of fun bits for the second half of the show around Alex Pregnancy. And at the end of today's show, we are doing an official gender reveal. You're going to find out, baby. Followed by, immediately followed by a smishmorshin. Yes. They're first ever live abortion on the Legion of Skates. Behind a paywall, promo code case. Guys, everybody hold your hangers in the air. All right, in turn. Get your hangers out. So look, there's a couple of things. Number one, we do have Arie garbage here. So we figured we'd play Arie garbage pregnant addition. OK. OK. Dude, I feel so bad having this guy hobbled to get me drinks. He loves it, dude. He's my heart of heart. He loves it. I go, hey, I get one of you. [LAUGHTER] It gets a heart to watch, but he loves it. The rest of his week is just watching his feet die. [LAUGHTER] Jesus Christ, dude. I know what that's like. [LAUGHTER] Different reasons. You're reading just so much more fun. Oh, your reasons are so much more fun. Beatests. Yeah. Entomans fucking donuts is way different than God's hatred. Yeah. Much more fun way to go. I've been eating a lot of candy lately. Oh, nice. What kinds? Fruity candy. A lot of jolly ranchers kind of gummy clusters. Yeah. Gummy is-- Smurred sours, gummy clusters. Oh, skinless sours. No, you're all so much weighty. You're eating a bunch of candy. Zet bound. I'm not drinking. Oh, nice. Yeah. [APPLAUSE] Zet bound. Guys, the main thing at this weekend, I got at the hotel marketplace. Gummy through two nights, kicking ass. Half sour, half not sour. Gummy worm competition. Oh, yeah. 20 bags. That's the bowl. Pretty dope. Kevin likes gummy bears. I'm a gummy bear, man. His bottle. If you bust up no cavities, they fucking slam it to a cavity. Yeah, I guess so. You put a gummy bear in a muller that's got a cavity. It's like-- [BEEPING] Fucking lets you know, dude. When's the last time you had a cavity? Like four months ago? I have to tell you. Come on. Wait, let's listen to it. You still get cavities? Yeah, bro. That is four months ago. Yeah, I got a cavity filled in four months ago. I've been to a dentist in like 20 years. What? Yeah, I'm out there. Wait, what? You said what? Yeah. Oh, you don't even count then. You guys have money. Go to the dentist. The last dentist I went to was, I got off group-ons and they tried to sell me braces on his knees. He's like, look, this guy's not going back. I just figured out the answer to the question, yes, you guys are garbage. Yeah, I mean, we can start with that. I thought you guys were tough. You're going to the Dennis Lewis. Yeah. What a pussy. I go to the, and I hate my dentists too. What I get cleaning is I have them give me Novakine injections. Jesus. Because that hurts my spine. I hate it. My desk work is great work, but it's always sad because I go to Kim and what's my former managers. All right. Family. Right, exactly. So when we sit there, it's always like, you know, it's like, sure. Your teeth look great. You go, any word and if that guy who killed your brother, my manager is going to jail. I'm concerned because I have some bleeding in my gums. He's like, oh, yeah, bleeding in your gums. You piece of shit. My brother was murdered. Did I tell this from the show ever? By the way, the guy who killed Dave Kimowitz, one of the owners, founders of this group. Very sad. And my former manager, great guy. The guy. The only good one of the group. Yep. Only one. I was going to say it, but it's true. But the guy who killed him in jail, attacked by MS13, stabbed up, clostomy bag rest of his life. Damn. And we wanted to port these guys. That's crazy. It's crazy. I don't know, dude. I feel like that's kind of freedom. You never have to shit again. No, it's a hell to you. No, mom has one. It's terrible. Oh, really? And that's why I don't go to the dentist. That is you know what when it in context I make I agree with you more Yeah, I mean all right, let's let's we are it's are you garbage parenting addition are the questions for Alex and Mike really is it these for everybody right for everybody Let's see Is it garbage to smoke weed before an outing with your child? That's garbage who said yes, yeah, it is for sure. What what do you a cop what you wait wait wait wait wait what is an outing? What's an outing and what's the eight? Yeah, I brought my son to No, it was a Gatielie in California California, Catalina, Ireland. No, what's going on here? Island Epstein's Island with all the rights What with all the rights in California not this? universal brother universal okay, and yeah, this is but this is like when he was like five So this is like nine years ago before weed was like recreational legal ever anything was recreational illegal in California at the time Okay, and I remember cuz yeah, you had to go to like Venice Beach and like get a fake doctor on the beach to like Give you a prescription and I had a vape it was me and Kim Kong didn't and I can stop you right there We were in the park in you know in California and we were right outside of the Jurassic Park ride and there's like a you know a woman in a fucking safari hat There's a fake dinosaur that comes over and she's like yeah Everyone look at the velociraptor. Is it in fun? I'm just fucking getting stone my kids like looking at the velociraptor And I blow it out and the woman literally in the microphone goes sir not here Lady when I was still mad at sucked when I was still with my ex-wife When Isabella was really young we used to always go every Sunday was like movie night we go to a movie Theater much we get pizza afterwards and before we went to the movie I would always my almost my code was I would go To my ex-wife I go having to go downstairs and do my thing and she go all right and I'd go You know at the back door and smoke weed. What were you smoking though? That's a big thing. Yeah, no shit weed But was it like a blunt or like a funny joy? Oh, like maybe a joint but probably like a bowl probably a bowl Yeah, you might guess a bowl sticks on you though. Should all does was that it's not just a bit by feeling a piece of shit So that was years is there's a tradition for years we did this every so it's funny. It's so high right now Oh, yeah, when she got to like when she got to like when she got to like 11 dinosaurs when you get to like 11 12 years old I remember one time it was like we were leaving for the movies and it's like all right. Let's get in the car and go to the movies And she was like don't you have to do your thing? Oh She didn't even know what it meant, but it was just like oh yeah, I forgot. I'm so high. I forgot to do my thing again Oh, yeah, I got to do my thing wait here. I'll come back different. I think today's day and age you motherfuckers ready I already got you ready to go well wasn't we're to go with the kids you had to pick the movie sort of accordingly Sure, although we fucked up several times. Oh, yeah, I think the worst one was a hell high was a bad choice That you know the worst was Probably which was really young whenever the year came out. I could tell you how old she was But we went to go see the Adam Sandler and the Sandberg movie they did Oh, he's a son. Yeah, and my dad or wasn't wasn't a father of the year wasn't a memorable movie by any stretch But it was like really so much fucking that's my boy. Yeah, so much like I came out in 2012 So she was She was now. No, she was 10 and it was so like the the humor was so like Sexual and she was so uncomfortable so fucking uncomfortable. Um, I think in today's day I'm saying what are you guys freaking out, right? So much you guys I think today's day and age I never I'm literally never hit it for my son Because I don't want to I don't want to demonize it. I want it. It's like his mom drinks wine. I smoke weed His grandma did heroin them. It works Grandma did junk. I don't I don't smoke weed. I don't smoke weed so I don't know but like Yeah, I don't have a gauge for it, but if you smoke a weed a lot, I guess it's not crazy I think my kids think it's gross because I do it. Yeah, they're like out. It's not cool My daughter found out what a dad does my daughter found out when she would I mean for sure She knew before but when she was seventeen I text I was text I was texting with her and my friend who's apartment I was going to and I was running late to go to his apartment. So as a lie I just went I already had joints rolled but I go hey just roll in a few more joints You want anything from the deli on my way over and I texted that to my daughter and she wrote back Yeah, grab me a sandwich dog And I wrote back and a swisher my instinct was to write back the word packet dutchies for the girl Play it hit me up. Give me a paper towel roll and some dryer sheets And maybe as you're because you guys have you know James is getting older and your kids are a little bit old But you'll see this in a couple years like I for a second tree or like she was retarded and when she wrote back Give me a sandwich dog. I saw what just happened and I wrote back Huh because I was buying time to go. I'm gonna say I didn't text that. That's weird Maybe Ari was fucking with my phone or whatever whatever is and then I just like but as soon as I texted Ha like 30 seconds later I called her to be like well, this is where having the conversation Because I was like that's insane to cheer for she already had to know and then she was like I kind of know where she goes when She's when my friends would smoke weed I'll go that smells like my dad's bedroom. My friend. My friends smell like my friends smell like Dave Smith and my dad's relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Oh shit Okay, let's take a quick moment and talk about blueprint, which is a great sponsor. We love blueprint Most supplements are guesswork at best our sponsor blueprint is changing that with the blueprint longevity mix They just sent me this. It's delicious. 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You're gonna get 20% off one more time as code skanks at blueprint dot Brian with a Y Johnson dot com for 20% off. All right folks. Let's think a quick moment I think body brain coffee for supporting the show my company Can I start it a year ago? That's taking you to tropic and mushroom coffee world by storm if you've had mushroom coffee tastes like shit Everyone knows that it tastes like a bunch of mushrooms smashed up in a cup We took real premium freeze-ride clumpy and coffee. We mix it with Tomcat Ali lions made ashwagana and l-themedine five simple ingredients It's a delicious cup of coffee that's gonna make you feel great We just launched the creamer completely different set of nutropics and adaptogens in the creamer as well, which is great Steve, I know you how much you been raving about how much you love your body brain coffee plus creamer? I'm pretty right now. I never really drank coffee, but I started with the body brain I feel clear more focused healthier. Yeah energy during the day. I'm not taking maps anymore. It's a whole game channel Pre-workout for the gym is great. I take it right before I box every single morning And we're doing this pretty cool thing right now if you guys grab the body brain coffee and the creamer We're going to give you 10% off and if you use the promo code LOS gift We're going to either give you the brand new body brain mug or the body brain for author so you can mix it nice and easily That's a pretty cool thing. That's an amazing thing. That's a pretty cool thing pretty god damn cool thing Grab the creamer grab the coffee save 10% for just for buying them together use that promo code LOS gift to get a mug or the for author absolutely free Go to bodybraincoffee.com. That is the website. Thank you for support again. All right. Where were we? All right, just a good one. Do you let your kids swear at home? Now that's pretty trash. You want to know my answer? She's almost 24 so now. How are you as a disciplinarian at the house? I let them curse. It's bad. My wife's got a fucking sailor's mouth. I curse all the time I don't like it. Say it again. I don't like it. My daughter is out all the time. My daughter was uncomfortable. My daughter was uncomfortable cursing around me until she was 23 almost. Who's that guy? What the fuck? That's Mr. Barnes. That's Mr. Barnes. Did he work for you guys if you say weed five times in a podcast episode He shows up and he's never working. Hookers, hookers, hookers, hookers, hookers, hookers Jason Love Jason Love. I don't let a phone is gonna be late. I don't know James. I let James say certain curses So you let him curse certain curses so we can say like ask and he can say shit. I shit interest He can say shit. I'm gonna be honest dude in my like you'll hear video games mother fucker Fuck fuck fuck That's just Steve. That's trashy. That's trashy. That's trashy. That's trashy. That's trashy. That is. That is. That is. You guys watch your fucking mouth down there. Your mother is up here cooking. Yeah. You're fucking pieces of shit. Yeah, how are you? -You're not fucking dinner's ready, you fucking pussy. -Sorry, Dad, I fucked up. -Yeah, you're right, you're fucked up, when you're fucking mouth, it's not that off. -It's not that off, boys. -Oh, dude, that's terrible, that's terrible. -That's horrible, that's terrible. -It's never in the wrong, it's horrible. -It's never like, "Yes, it is." -It's fucking moron. It's always like, "Fuck, I'm so pissed off right now." -It's interesting the things, like, I feel like people-- -Right, Lewis, you probably-- -My great fucking eggs. -Yeah. -Have you gotten this yet, Lewis? I probably got it around this age. -Oh, fuck. -Yeah. -You believe she wants to fuck, oh, Johnny, dude, by the way, they kids love, like, "skags." My dad's on "skag, skag, skag." Now, it's like-- -I'm older these kids. -Sit. -Well, 14 and almost 18. -Almost 18. -Yeah. -Look, here's the, even if my son was 18. -He's a senior in high school. -I'm not going to let my, like, just have, have some respect. Like, if, he'll sing rap songs and he'll, like, he'll omit the-- -Whoa. -We got a hard-- -No ends. -No ends in the house. -No. -No ends. -That's the dog-- that's the dog it's for. [ Laughter ] -That's why we got that fucking sheep collar, dude. [ Laughter ] -No ends. -I walked right into that. -He could talk to him in the driveway, if you want. -Yeah. -At the top of the driveway. -Not at the bottom with the houses. -Not at the fucking house. -That's where I fucking now. -If I see it on the ring camera, I swear to God. -Why don't you move back to World Star, okay, buddy? -Hey, Antoine, good to see you, buddy, now. -Hey, you fucking mother, I said hello. [ Laughter ] -Yeah, no rap lyrics? -No. -Yeah. -Number that. -I don't know. -You can let it out. -No, but that's what I was gonna say, Louis. -You sound like you're from the '60s. -Anybody trying to rock and roll the house. -As people, as James' friends, this is what happened with Isabella. We started to find out who you are and people started looking and stuff and looking into it. It is funny what you'll see with Isabella giving me what I thought was funny when she got a little older. I was like, "All my friends when I was younger were like, "You're dad, right? I mean, look at them." And, you know, what he does. Like, you probably smoke weed and they thought she was gonna be like the smoke weed at the house place and everyone can drink as long as you're under the roof. And she was just like, "Oh, my dad will smoke all your weed if you bring it." -No. She really had more of like, "You're letting those knuckle gloves get to your head." No, he would fucking freak out and fucking weed. So I was never like, "Yeah, I wasn't permissive like that at all. No way." -No. As long as I get a hit. -No, I was embarrassed to have to tell her. But I was also like, "She was at an age where I'm like, "I'm insulting her." But I don't want that to not tell her. But I also gave her like, the truth, I was like, "I didn't really start smoking until your problematic uncle Lewis came in my life." And I was like, "25." -Sure. -I really did, like, peer pressure. Like, we were 13 years old after-- -We were having so much fun. -I peer pressure Jay. We were playing stick ball. And, uh, I became a father at 24. So, like, I didn't understand this. I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I can forget I'm a father and just watch bullshit on YouTube with ease idiots." It was great. -No, yeah. James, luckily he's a good kid. But it's like, he'll-- -Good kid. -There's certain things I was like-- -Great kid. -If you say, like, "Shit." Not like, "I got to take a shit." We're like, "Oh, shit." Like that. I don't care if he says that. -But-- -You can't say, "I got to take a shit." -That sounds better. Dude, my kid-- -That's what we do on Christmas Eve. -That's what we do. -My kids roll to the door. Get out of the way. I got to take a shit right now. -I'll tell you why. -It's like a clock. -I mean, it's-- -It's almost like-- Also, he doesn't really say shit to him. But, like, he said it in, like, songs when he's, like, singing along. Or if he's a-- -Fuck, he listed it. -People equal shit by a slut, not. No, but, like, yeah, he's just-- Like, certain things I'm fine. He just doesn't really take advantage of it. And the rule is, he can't curse at school. Like, he said-- He can say certain things at home. But be a fucking good kid. And definitely not-- -Oh, yeah, never at school. -Not in front of anyone. Not in front of anyone's parents or other adults, like-- -Oh, dude. -I swear to you guys. -No, no, no, no. -I was forced into that. Well, my daughter and her friend were getting into a argument that was, like, in school, it was causing a problem at some point. And when they came in, they started, like, you know, like, she started, like, telling on my daughter in a some weird way. And what came back to me was that, like, it's about a curse is a lot. She curses all the time. And that was, like, but it was, like, not in front of teachers, or adulterating like that. And I was like, this kid is fucking dumb bitch. -What a dumb bitch? I go, yeah. I assume she's learning from the best. I'd like to think. -She's my last album. -How's your proud work? -I assume she's tearing you guys apart. But I don't-- If I hear that from an adult, though, it would be a different thing. I'll be here. Like, another kid going, like, your daughter curses a lot. I go, oh, god. Go tell your parents. You're a fucking cleaf. -Yeah. -You know the fuck tells on that. She curses a lot. -When I see, like, kids cursing-- I don't know. It's just-- -Oh. -There was my problem with Burnt's TV show, right? And I thought it was very funny. -Yeah. -The kids curse a bunch. -The kids curse, like, crazy. -Yeah, but that felt real to me. -I know. I was just like-- -Some families are like that. -Even as a kid, I'd be like, these kids are dirt bad. -I mean, I don't know if-- I'm sure Burnt's coming from real life. -I never saw that. -I never saw that. -I'm maybe not. But maybe then, like, they don't go overboard. Like, if you came over, they would look-- -Okay, fuck. -But that's how it is on the show. And the Netflix show, it's like, the kids are like-- They just-- it's so-- -Well, take that. -But if you're talking to me, my son's, like, my fucking fantasy team eats shit. I'm like, okay. -I understand what you're saying. -Not me. I would look over you. -I feel the same. Steve, I would look over you and be like, do you want to tell him to go grab a switch? Or do you want me to tell him? My fucking team goes, hey! -I don't know. -We're with family. -I was raised here. -Shut the fuck up. -The opposite. Like, I grew up, it was like, we were holy rollers. It was like, no cursing. -Huh. -I was fucking Jesus' name in vain. -I was funny, so I started-- -Jesus Christ. -I could start cursing at 17 and about, 'cause I had so much responsibility for my siblings, and I was like, funny with it. So, like, my stepfather slowly weeded it, and I was like, about 17, I was cursing. Full blow. -I couldn't-- I didn't curse in front of my mom until I started cursing at her. And I really-- that's really true. -You're fucking heroin! -Yeah. Get off the junk! -No, it was more like this. -My stop taking all the fucking copper out of the house! -Respect your body! -Take a fucking shower! -Respect your body! -I know it's valuable. -You're a mother! -Cop is so valuable. -Is it-- oh, this is a good one. Have you made your child a lie about their age to get something? Well, for free or a discount? Enough for free or a discount? We got massages in Spain, and he wasn't allowed a jerk to fix your boy. -What? You got massages with your son? -It was a couple's massage. -Relax. -Oh, God. -It's not as weird as you'd think. -Oh, so it was one lady doing fucking ski poles on you. -No, he's a child. -Change, stop crying! -Cross my time with you! -Stop crying, we're in Europe. -It's okay. -It's okay. -I lied about your age. -They think you're fine. -No, the age was in the initial. -It's okay, your 25. If anybody asks you're in the Navy. -To get the massage, you don't have to be a certain age. -To use this. -Oh, you're right. -My old. -The sauna and the hot tub and all that. You had to be, I think, 15. -What the fuck? -Yes. -You don't want kids fucking. -You can't get the massage end to be unless you're 18. -Oh, really? -What? -You can't. -Oh, am I wasting my money? -Can you send your kid the massage end to me? -Well, I mean, I'm not going to. -That place. -That place. -The place I go to is a little off limits. -Oh, understood. -So, I figured the massage end of me is a little more upscale. -No, we went to the spa in the hotel and we both got a massage and they wouldn't allow him unless he was 15 into the wet areas. -Yeah. -So, I lied and said he was 15 then. -I had a lie and say he was five. -No, there's never been anything I've felt the need to lie for Isabelle's age up for. And she was fucking five-five when she was four. So, there was no lying down. -3, 4, 11. -No, I don't care. I lie all the time. On the ferry, 12 and over, he's 11. -Yeah. -And he's sitting there smoking with a Mustang. -Yep, I don't give a fuck. -First you up a storm? -That's fucking fairytaking. -You're fucking fucking fucking 11. -Yeah, you fucking bum I'm 11. -Yeah. -I mean, and you got a little black guy, dude. I hate this. I want to be home. I miss mommy. -Yeah. -What's the kid got to do to get a cold beer right here? -That's fucking fucking business. -Where? -I'm thirsty. -You ever see an 11-year-old smoke a marble red before? -Yeah. -He's butter shit. -He's butter noodles, ain't fucking out. -Dentay, dickhead. -Hey, dickhead, man. Take a fucking walk, will you? -Hey, yeah. -I got one. -Thank you. -I'm a total garbage, I guess. -It's a garbage. -This is a total fucking garbage. -This is all for Steve. -Yeah, I-- -Is it garbage to have your child fetch a beer for you from the fridge? -At what age? -I got to say-- I got to say-- -Yeah, right. -Oh, of course, dude. -Is this-- -Wait, am I crazy? -No. -No, am I crazy or real? -Praw your little ass over to the fucking fridge and give me a cord like. -If you're going to get a sprite, look to the left. -Oh, I'm serious, guys. This is crazy. -No, I think it's fine. James, at this point-- -I would tell him to get a beer out of the fridge. -It's getting soft. -Get the fucking-- -It's a dead point. -It's salsa and a corona. -Oh, not at nine. -Whatever age they can grab the-- -Dude, are you kidding me? -I was-- -They don't know what it is. -I was pouring-- -They don't know what it is. -They'll know, and they'll retroactively be like, "Oh, man, help." -Who cares? -Oh, I'm somehow-- -I'm not going to drink it because they won't get the fucking-- -Yeah, but he's like, "Now I'm complicit in daddy hitting mommy." -I was-- -No, nobody got his hands. They're part of the ladder. -And from what it sounds like, "Mommy hitting daddy back." -Oh. Nobody got ahead it's all consensual I was pouring beers out of a keg when I was -It was like 10 years old. -Yeah, absolutely. -Dude, a cat. -That's different. -Dude, you're playing about, I got a pomp. I got to do this, I got to do that. -Dude, the other day I was at a barbecue with my 15-month-old son. We opened the cooler, and then me and my brother, and my brother-in-law just had a table, and he would just bring us beers out of the cooler. -Yes, the babies? -The babies? -Yeah. -Dude, your baby? -By the way, I was like, "Stop it." I was like, "Get the fuck off." -By the way, you know what? -He was just lying on the table. We were just picking up. -Oh, yeah, they get excited about it. -It was fun for them. -He thought he was hanging out with the guys. -You love it. -They love it. -You feel part of the group. -Yeah. -It's awesome. -Oh, fuck, am I gonna lie about 9/11 or something? -No, dude, you're great. -I was at Pearl Harbor, and it was great. -Oh, dude, you're fine. -All right, this is the Steve. Tell me this one. Is it garbage to leave your kid in a hotel room while you grab a few drinks? -It's just so that it's empty. -Listen, this is a set-out. -Just watch the fucking TV. I'll be right back. There's porn and shit in there. What are you bitching about? -You did this. -No, I have done-- -Okay. -My wife would never leave the bulk of us. -The barn? -No, she wanted to get a hotel one. What time are you in Vegas? Do you want to get a sitter at the hotel? Like, you can call the hotel, so hooker watching the kids. -I mean, and that's what I said. I go, "This is more responsible. Some fucking stranger coming over to watch the kids." -I'm not sucking these kids' dick to pay that right now. -Despite what you've heard, prostitution is not legal in Las Vegas. -She's in Boston, I like it. -So I was like, "Yeah, let's go down to the bar, lock up the door, and go down." -No, they were sleeping. -Sleeping. -How old were they? -How old were they? -What? -That's crazy. -You heard a mother fucker, how old were they? -How old were they? -It's crazy. -Cause if they wake up, they're like five and they wake up. -And they wake up terrified. Mommy and daddy have been taken by the Steve. -He's out of the crap's table. -Who's like six months old? -No. -I swear to God, that's crazy. -I know, I'm swear to God. -They're kind of, they're out cold. -And they're in a, they're in a creepy, they're in a creepy place. -This is the truth, you go up and check. You do the hourly check. Here's what, okay, and I'll be hourly check. -No, no, no, no, no. -Okay, that's a house cat. -No. -Stop it. I don't want that one. -CP, grab me one more, but listen. -I go up every time I had to do a bust. -What's the problem? -I'm gonna give you an example. -Go check on his kids real quick. -I'm gonna give you, that would be a lap. -That would be a lap. -Make sure the windows are cracked. -You got four couples. -Let's just say, I'm gonna be fucking smoking in there. -You're on vacation. -Four couples, you all have babies, right? Everybody's in the room, right? -The famous case where a girl got kidnapped doing this. -Yeah. -Not my kid. -I don't even got a couple. -And every 20 minutes, we send a parent up there that check on all the doors and go back down. -Do a key bump go back down? -Yes. -That's how you did it. It was fine. No one ever quit. That was fine. -You said it. -Okay, jump to the judge, buddy. -That's great. -No, you're not wrong. -I feel like this was set up again. -Let me ask you this. -This was in the '80s, right, Steve? -No, my kid was born in 2009. [ Laughter ] -Well, I got back from Vietnam. -Dude. -I can't believe you guys are -- -This is why I'm saying I'm back, dude. -I can't believe I'm now on the right side of -- [ Cheers and applause ] -Dude, everyone messed up because we were all screaming. But Jay said, "This is the thing you don't lie to me." -Holy shit. I thought my kids had the best upbringing ever. -And a pretty dope upbringing. -What about if you and your wife are like going to dinner? Will you leave them in the car or something like that? -No, come on. -We chain them up in the backyard with the dogs. -They always -- they were fine watching each other. [ Laughter ] -Can we get to this one, please? This is the one I want to know. Because this is, honestly, if I'm wrong about this one -- -Okay. -Okay. -Is this one here? -Is it the sex one? -Is it wrong to punch him in the face? -It's a garbage to have sex. Okay. -All right. -The baby is -- -Wait, wait, wait, wait. -The question. -The garbage to have sex in the hotel room with kids sleeping in the hotel room, too, on vacation. -How old are they? -How old? -15 and 16? -No. -No. -Babies. -Okay. -Babies. -Babies. -No, I don't think -- look. -Babies. -Babies. It's not illegal. -They don't know what's going on. -It's just not the wrong -- I mean, like -- -It is weird if you -- if you -- -We're talking about it with your wife, right? -Yes. -All right. I don't know. You said four couples. I don't know what you're doing out there. You're freaking out. -Yes. -He's sneaking in a hooker. -We play yotsies. -My wife's out. -When you're in a tree. -It's a swingers retreat. -Yeah. HBO's real sex. It was the last season. -Hey, does your fucking mom real good? -No. Nobody talks about the fucking. It's very silent, and actually, it's very sensual to try to be quiet. -What? -There's a baby. -It is. -It's cool, dude, to try to hold in your emotions. And do they think he might have recued, dude? -It's like fucking in front of one of your turtles. -Who they like? Normal sex. You could do it and sound like whatever you want. But when you have to be quiet. -You put a pacifier. -Yeah. -My mom. -How old? Okay. Six months old. We were in Vegas. The same trip. -Vegas is so. -Man. -You bang her and you're like, let's go get drunk. -Yeah. -Have you done it? And where? What other hotel? -What's fucking front of the baby and then leave it alone? -No, but now you haven't been like dover. -No, but now the movie is. -This kid's a stiff. -By the way, you'll do the move, too. You'll do the move, too, when they get older. The move is now, go get breakfast. You guys go get breakfast. -We're gonna focus on your bed. -Wait, you send them-- -You guys go-- -You guys-- -I gotta play-- -And we don't go, like, go get breakfast. I'm not hungry right now. Mom's gonna make a phone call. You guys go get breakfast and then we'll be down. -You don't get my keys, though. -Well, you do. -No, no, no, no. -Why do the central of it if you get caught? -No, you gotta-- -You gotta-- -You gotta throw that bowl of it. -Why do you love your kids? -You see, you fucked so much. -I throw the bolt over. -I put a sock on the door. -Yeah, but no. -The kids-- -But listen. -Listen. -Bolt over. -The kids-- -Bolt over suggests when they hit it. It suggests, like, "Oh, mom and dad are fucking." -Mom goes right in. -When it goes right in, we've gotten busted before. Mom goes right to the show. -Yeah. -Turns it on. I go, "I'm on the phone. I don't want anyone but--" -I don't want anyone busting him a mom. -There's no way you think I'm-- -Been a shit mom. -Look, dude. I defend that one to the dad. -I defend the baby. -I defend the baby. -It's not. -It's easy. -Let me tell you something. -How could you-- -You're paying for the vacation. -What? -You're doing everything on this vacation. -I can't get my fucking vacation. -I mean-- -Are you about to use-- -Steve. -Are you about to use rape logic on this? -No, no, no. -I'm just-- -My wife, dude. -That's my vagina. -She made everyone have fun. -The kids had fun. They ate ice cream whenever they wanted to. My wife got to read 10 books and lay by the pool. Why can't I have a little bit of my fun? -I'm okay. -You know what I'm saying? -I'm not gonna ask you for like a session, a sex set. Give me like 10 minutes to not, you know? -It's not. -Yeah. -I'm not gonna ask you for much, guys. -You're not. I don't-- I think that's completely above board with a baby. No, if it's a child that's like old enough to know what's going on, and can wake up in the middle of it, that's crazy. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] -I mean, excuse me. Dude, of course. -Ren is easy. Do you ever catch your parents having sex? -No. I smelled-- no, I'm kidding. That's Brody's joke. That's Brody Steven's joke. That's the best. I never caught-- I never saw my parents having sex. -That's a great joke. -I smelled it, dude. -No. But I-- when he told that joke, I did. I knew exactly what he was talking about, because you could smell sometimes, dude. It's tough. Yeah, I never caught it. -I caught my mom and my dad one time. They both beat this shit out of me. -Oh, they think-- -That's the only way they can talk. -Wait, they blamed you? -Yeah, because I didn't knock. [ Laughter ] -They were fully clothed. They both came and they took turns. [ Laughter ] -Fuckin' took my TV. -Wow. -Right back into it. -Oh, my God. -Now you're to listen to them have sex? -Yeah. -With no TV. -That's tough. -That's tough. -Now I'm a drug addict. [ Laughter ] -Yeah. -I mean, I want to do more of these things. -My son's bedroom is right above mine. So I have to have sex silently. Like-- -That's what I'm saying. You got to be quiet. -Yeah, yeah. -You can also just knock. -But that's pretty cool, right? -That's not the arrow of time. -I'm not going to not have sex, Shay. That's crazy. -That's what I'm saying. -He knows what's going on. -Yeah, what's the difference? -You have the broads coming in every two weeks. -Is it garbage? -Is it garbage should not have sex when my son's in my house three nights a week? That's crazy. -Wait, is that crazy? -It's not crazy. -It's not crazy. -To not have sex? Three days a year? Half the week, I'm not allowed to have sex because my son's home fuck off. -It's not about loud. It's just like you're going to wait those other four. -No, I'm on the road most of the time. What are you yelling at? -What does he say? -What am I going to do? -I don't give a shit. -Wait, look. -Fuck in front of him. -What does he say when he sees the guy leave it? -Well, no, is he out? -Find the house, dude. Fucking in front of him. Point at him the whole time. -No, that's-- -This is how I made you with your mother. I don't know. I don't know. It's my fucking house. -Yeah, fuck it. -I want to put, if I want to have sex with him. -I think we all agree with the sentiment. -And it was my vacation. -You don't do it loud like he can hear you. -No, well, he called me out on it one time. -What do you say? -He was like, "Dad, can you stop screaming your own name?" -Can you stop crying when you're gone? -Yeah. -Oh, Lewis, you're giving him so hard. -Split me in two. -No, he was like-- -He was like, "I can hear you." And then I was like, "Oh, fuck." -Pretty good, huh? -Yeah. -How's the sound? Long and thick? and thick. He's like, am I gonna. I'm gonna be able to split people in two one day. - He's like, "I can hear her screaming help." - Get-- - Yeah. - Did she ever get to call her parents? (laughing) Did you do, did you come through with your promise and let her call her parents? - Um, let's see, all right, what about giving your kid an iPad at a restaurant? - That's pretty normal. - I think that's, I'm-- - Complete garbage. - I don't know, that's the hotel banger over here. - Stand there, it's standard issue now. - It seems standard issue and it's also like-- - If it's on point up. - It seems, it seems-- - It's courteous to the people around you of like, they're not gonna be-- - I do. - They're gonna be fine. - I completely disagree. - I don't know. And also, first of all, no, for it's not quiet, these will have volume on it, so you gotta listen to that. - Hold on, hold on, no volume. - Hold on, no volume. - If you start giving your kid an iPad really young, they're gonna always want it at dinner, so you literally, they're kids. Elts smart them. - I can't do that. - I'm not saying, I'm not saying. - You're asking for an analog thing, and it's not a thing. It is the equivalent now of, like, I used to go, we didn't have iPads, so I'd flip over my placemat and like draw and do shit like this. - Yeah, but that's time to tell. - No, but it's just not-- - You can still do that. - Yeah, you can still do that, that's what we do. - But who does? - No, I do, James, but James didn't have an iPad until he was like 12. - I'm saying. - For sure, don't give a three-year-old the fucking pad. You're getting your kids addicted to screens when they're toddlers, it's insane. - Stephen, what's your answer? - I'll let you tell you something. (laughing) - Okay, you're trying to be like father of the-- - He's probably isn't a big screenin' ex-cox. - No. (laughing) - He is. - I will say this, you go to Buffalo Wild Wings. They hand out iPads to everyone. They play, that's how you order. That's how you fucking do every games on it. There's games on it, right? If you wanna get rid of these things, don't have them at fucking every waitress table, everything, how you order shit. Number one, but I don't do that. I'm not an iPad guy, but if I listen, if I hear someone else in another day, I do not think that we can do that. - No, I'm not like, here just fuck China. - Your kids weren't that young at that point. - I also do a thing, we go to a steakhouse. Anytime you order steak, what you're allowed to, there's no, it's a talk. You gotta talk, you gotta tell a great story. A steak dinner comes with a great story. So that will do like, everyone in orders. - One time I was in Vegas and my dad was fucking my mom. (laughing) - Whatever, I don't care, but entertain us. - Don't sit there and stare at us. - Talk about when you saw your dad's ass dim bling (laughing) - How do you know he had a rosacea on his ass? - On his ass. - I judge every time I see a parent give their kid an iPad. Like a little kid an iPad at a restaurant, I am very judgmental. - Huh. - Oh my God. - Every time. - You know Isabel's sister, you don't give her an iPad, it's a problem for everybody in that fight. - That's because they started giving her an iPad when she was two. - No doubt, but now it's a necessary evil. - You also have one kid like AI. - It's different when you have multiple kids. - Yeah, they entertain each other. - No, they don't. - I'm gonna go crazy, dude. - What are they? - They catch the freeze coming. - They just get bailed in by the other guy. - Is that right, man? - I'm like that. This fucking sucks. - Wait, hold on, I gotta call you guys, the four of you guys are all dads. As a former server, I know what your answer is gonna be. Let me ask you this. You're there at a restaurant with the kid, he's in a high chair. They make a fucking mess. They get noodles, peas, all that shit on the fucking floor. When you leave, do you clean that shit up? - Yes. - But you have to wait. - I always clean it up, dude. - Are you fucking crazy? Are you nuts, you're gonna throw shit all over the place? This isn't our fucking house. - Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. - And then you gotta hit heavy on the tip because you're not gonna get all of it. - Father of the year. - Yes, me, father of the year. And the kids are like, sorry, I fucked up your restaurant. - Yeah. - That's exactly go back in the follow-up. - Sorry, I fucked up your face. - I wouldn't have done that before. My dad fucked up my mom right now. - You are black, however, my dad said, I can't sit in the universe, so. - Peace and blessings. - I left an upper decker in the bathroom dickhead, I'm out. - Guys, let's put our headphones on because there's a lot of cross-talk. - Oh, sorry, I'm gonna be honest with you. - Oh, really? - Everyone took their headphones off and everyone's had a screaming over it. - I got mine on Lewis. - Thank you. - Good job. - Meanwhile, doing the most over talking. Very true, very true. - He said, I wouldn't even do this. Sending your kid to school in clothes, they slept in. - I didn't, I didn't put that one in. - What is it? Why you looking at me in a way, dude? - 'Cause he definitely did. - No, no, I never, no, dude. My kids are fucking fresh, dude. Fresh, dude, dad. But you said, fresh a death now means like sweatpants. - They almost sweatpants. - And maybe they just slept in it and got up at work. - No, no, no. They both shower in the morning. Very fresh, put on the new clothes. - I was a morning shower person, too. I never understood the nighttime shower. I'm like, I go through a whole lifetime in a night of sleep. - He's sweating. - I wake up sweating. - Fear, yeah. - Fear, you wake up in my face. - Touching my own dick. - Coming on my own belly. - I'm a shower, yeah, shower. - Absolutely jacking off in my face. - I don't want to get into bed dirty. Like, I'll shower when I get home tonight. - I don't even-- - I don't even. - Then you shower in the morning or no? - No, I'll go about the day and work out, about noon after the workout, then I'll go shower. - But that's crazy guy, right? - What am I? - What am I? - Come on, I don't mind that. I don't mind texasini. - Why am I going, I'll put the order on my teeth, but I'm not going to put the fucking-- - No, I shower at night, get up, live the day, shower again the next night. - Yeah, you got to even fresh. - Yeah, you do fresh. - Yeah. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Or if I work out, I work out right after the workout. - Right, right. - But then I'll go through the whole day and I won't shower at night. I'm not taking a second shower. I'm not a fucking lunatic. - I get that. - Two showers just pretty good. - You know what I got into in the summer? I had an above ground pool. I would just, I would go for a run and then hop in the pool and then just not shower. - That's a great, that's a move. - I would just go, I would do that and we gave him shit and then I tried it. I'm like, oh, I want to deliver right to the pool. - Yeah, they'd be like, oh, we're going to the, whatever I go. Oh, I'm already clean. - Let me ask you that. So you work out, hang out, jump in the pool, right? Hang out during the day, you shower before you go to bed? - Probably not. - Probably not. You're going chlorinated into the bed. - 100%, I would. - I don't like, no, I don't like chlorinated. Jokes on you. - Oh yeah, yeah. - I don't want water in it. - I don't jump in chlorinated. Saltwater's great for your skin. - That's what I have. All right, but I'm going to say. - That's saltwater pools also make chlorine. The system creates chlorine. - Do you see it? - I'm sorry, fucking pool boy Lewis. (all laughing) I guess I'll trust the only Hispanic I know. - He took so much offense to that. - Oh, look at that. - There's no way, there's no way that's true. - It's a, no, no, it's true. - Saltwater makes chlorine. - It is true. - Get the fuck out of here. The salt makes chlorine. - Yeah, whatever, yeah. - Yeah, right. (all laughing) - There's chicks have orgasms too, I think. - Bullshit. - Come on man, he's just going to have to get out of here. - That's cold. - These guys just think. (all laughing) - All right, look, we're almost at the end of the show here. We do want to reveal Alex's baby and Mike and Alex, Mike's baby. (all cheering) So here's what we decided to do. We picked two of the spring tunnel imbians at random. And we are going to have them compete because what we're going to do is, if it's a boy, they're going to have to pull their pants down and show their dick. If it's a girl, they're going to be tucked. That's the idea, right? So Buffalo Bill style. - Yes. - So we're going to have them both come up and compete. And we have a series of questions. We have to ask them. And whoever is closest without going over wins. Whoever gets three points first wins. So loser has either reveal his cock or his Buffalo Bill pussy. - What's this? - Clap it up for Nutsack. - How about a picture? And no. - Nope. - And gimmick. - You guys clapping up for gimmick and Nutsack, guys. (all cheering) - Hey, you guys got the scariest guys walking around here. - This guy's gonna show his piece. - It's so nice. - Baby. - Yeah. - My girl's watching this. (all laughing) - Perfect. (all laughing) - Yes, there we go. Thank you, Po. - Hello, gentlemen. What's going on, gentlemen? - It's like my bachelor party. (all laughing) - That one guy looks like white trash or a glassman. (all laughing) - This is the first question. - Leave your shoes on. (all laughing) - What? - Confusing. - Why, is it? - Well, we know the answer, but they gotta know. - Well, I think you can leave out the this part of it like completely. It's better just like like that. It's confusing. - Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm confused by that, too. - Alright, what percentage of men are homicide victims? Whoever's closest without going over? - Well, in the world of homicide, between men and women, how many homicide victims percentage are men? - Between men and women. - Yeah. - I don't think this is. - Damn it. - You can speak to the microphone. - How many men of each of you murdered? (all laughing) - And yes, saltwater makes cloning, obviously. - Between men and women, I'd say men are 60%. - 60%, whoever's closest with that coming over. Gimmick? 61. - Wow. (all cheering) - What a dick. - Somebody was on Workbench Comp for a while? - What a puns, what a cunt move and gag. Damn, it was great. - Yeah, that was good. I mean, I'll be gonna do that for every question. - Maybe. The actual answer? - 80%. - 80%. - Gimmick scores a point. - Nice job. - All right. - All right. - So what? - Gimmick, you should have to answer first. - Yes, this time you. - Or maybe whoever's closest, forget without going over. 'Cause then that kind of kills that for sure. - 'Cause you're whoever's closest. - All right. - Should we scratch that one? - No, no, it doesn't matter. - He still won. - He still won 'cause it was under. - True. - Second question. What percentage of workplace incident deaths are male? [BLANK_AUDIO] - What percentage of workplace incident deaths are male? - 93 is-- - Man, that might be freaking it. - That's a huge number. - That's fucking tremendous. - I would say 90. - 90, wow. - 90. - Wow, holy shit, the answer. - Wow. - Is staggeringly 92%. - Wow. - Oh, gimmick. - gimmick gets it. - gimmick. - No, no, no, gimmick. - Oh, gimmick, you fucking idiot. - Oh wait, that's right. Hold on, we're supposed to be doing a strip every answer. - Yeah, but didn't he lose? He won. - He won. - You won, keep your shirt on. - Not sad. - You have to take off two pieces of clothes. - No, he took off his hat. Now he's gonna take off his shirt. - We're not doing, we're not doing, we're not doing over, we decided. Put it back on, you have to take off two pieces of clothing. That's right. - Yeah, we took off. - He took off his hat already. - How you doing? - Now his shirt's coming off. - It's not being a fucking prude with your hat. - See those titties, boy. - I fucking hate when guys have whatever bodies and I wish it was my body. (audience laughing) - Fuck this, it's like a weird bummer. - You look great, you look great, not sad. - We let not sad do hat because he's not wearing under. - Oh, I know, that's just the only thing. - Hi, let's pick off your hat. - Yeah, be able to get to it. - I'm not wearing underwear either. - Nice. - Let everybody know. - All right, so the work place deaths, 92% is crazy. This is why men get paid more than women and we should. Because that's insane. - You can die, we probably are gonna die. - It's probably hard to get killed at a cubicle, you know what I mean? 92% chance we're gonna die. - Oh, I'm swinging a miss. (laughing) - All right, welcome back to your game. - What percentage, what percentage of bachelor degrees are received by women? - Zero. - So you have to go first to sign notes. - All the bachelor degrees, given out. How many of them are women? - It's a four year degree. - You have a bachelor degree. - Yeah, I was just saying 65%. - 65%, okay, all right. - 42. - 42. - Interesting. - Shit, I got you. - No, no, I know. - Thank you, yeah. - The answer is 58% not set gets that round. - Not set gets the round. (clapping) - All right. - This guy looks like he's in the Joker's crew. (laughing) - We both do. - It's the bat, get him. (laughing) - All right, next. - What percentage of touring comedians are women? Give me your first. - 33. - Okay. - Not set? - 25. - Ladies and gentlemen, not set gets right. - 10%. - 10%. - 10%. - This is a goddamn Barnburner phone. - Here we go. - Take him off. - This guy's gonna have a hog on him. (laughing) - All right. - I'm gonna sleep tonight. - I think the next question might-- - The next question is gonna be the reveal. We're gonna find out. What type of baby Alex and Harry can have in? - Ready, boys. - Wait. - Pope, give me some dollar bills, will you? (cheering) - And a blue tube. (laughing) - Fellas, what percentage of childhood molestation victims are female? (clapping) - This is surprising. - What is the percentage of childhood molestation victims that are female? - You gotta know this if you wanna be a parent. - Who goes first? - Not set? - 53%. - 53%? - Dimmick. - 69. - 69%? - What a career. - Hell yeah, hell yeah dude. - Okay. - The answer is 81%. - You're the winner, gimmick. - gimmick, you're the winner. - Not sacked, we're gonna reveal the sounder. - The reveal, baby! - It's okay. - It's okay, it's okay. - It's okay. - Congratulations. - Yay! (laughing) - Well, dude. - Come down, dude. - As Rich Voss once said to me, "Harryton, you have pink jizz, dude." (laughing) - Just meant to be. (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language) ♪ And Harryton will kill himself ♪ ♪ When he's around three periods ♪ - Wow, it's a tough. - Two girls, Harryton. How does that feel? - Congratulations, buddy. - Harryton hates it, dude. - I know Harryton wanted a boy for a fact. - Yes, he told me. - Dude, how cool is he gonna be though to have two black son-in-law's? (laughing) - The half of the girl, the fish is a girl. I can't get away from it, dude. I'm just in a house full of women. And I love it. - Dude, you're blessed. - Yeah, there we go. Amazing. - Congrats, buddy. - You're blessed, dude. - Congrats, guys. - Congrats. - Dude, we'll make one of them daiki. I promise. - Yeah. - Hang her with fucking footballs and shit. Fucking amazing. They are having a girl. Congratulations to Mike Alex. Thank you to our amazing fucking panel of guests tonight. - Thank you. - Are you garbage? Long live the scents. - American garbage available right now on YouTube, Kevin Ryan. H. Foley makes sure you follow them on all social media and everywhere you can fucking go see them live. Catch you guys later this week on the Friday and hang until next time, peace. (audience cheering) - You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with Vic J. Overseen. - Did you suck it? - I think I would instinctually suck it. - Think with three scenes. - Let's be fucking over, Lewis. - Lewis Gomez. - Lewis J. Gomez. - You're trying to watch a retarged raw swastika tell areas. - I'm sort of known as a point going to podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. - And comedian Steve Ran is easy. - The Legion of Skanks podcast. (upbeat music) (gentle music)