GUESS THE NUMBER CHALLENGE! -You Should Know Podcast-

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Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. Now on to the rest of the episode. This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. For 125 years, Nordstrom has been part of your story. The stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview. The first pair of walking shoes. The first pair of shoes for your one-year-old. The tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe. These are the moments that make Nordstrom Nordstrom. Big or small, we're here for all of it. Celebrating 125 years with new moments still ahead. Discover it all in Nordstrom stores and at Nordstrom.com. Hey everybody, welcome back to You Should Know Podcast. Episode 231. We got Coz. Cam back in the studio. Round of applause, please. It's time to play the game. I hope you realize. That went all over me. No, no. That was a terrible. It was almost like nothing came out. There was virtually nothing that just came out. It was like a tiny sprinkle. I think that's like historically low. Is that the worst? That was probably the worst triple H spit I've ever seen. Get some. It's like you're too, you're too like worried about the cleanup. You're such a dad. Come on. I feel like you just swallowed a lot. Stop. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. Oh my God. Oh my God. Cam. I'm not built for that life. We got to check. Is the camera okay? Is the camera okay? See, dude, I live in a world of absolutes. There's no gray area for me. It's black or white. You said it was the worst ever. And I'm just spitting water on everything. I haven't had a dry word yet. We got to go scam back in the studio. I mean, you are completely drenched. Wow. Hey, uh, that was a first and last. Yeah. I enjoyed it. And I was really bad. My crotch is wet. Did you not practice that as a kid ever? Uh, a couple of times, but it was, you know, Mike, he was like, don't spill my carpet. Yeah, that's fair, dude. I, it's very fair. I sprayed my house, dude. It's not a dry corner of my house. I'll tell you that. I can see you doing that everywhere. Brush your teeth. And you'd be like, wait a second. No, I just never would. Triple H was never my guy. It's not even a triple H thing. At that point it was, it was evolved past WWE. I was like, how much can I spit? Oh, dude. Every time you weirdo, every time I brush my teeth, I would like get like, I would go into the sink for the water. And then I would, my, I had a mirror that took up like a wall. And so I was like, oh, wait, I was like, how wait can I get this mirror? And then I was always inspired by the, um, the, the, uh, what are those called in your yard? The sprinklers that go to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and so I became a sprinkler, you know, you don't know how much I did that, bro. That is okay. First off, you know, I was like 20 years old until I started doing this. I used to always go like this. That's disgusting. You used to cup your hand cat. I'd go. Sarah does that. Oh, I think that's honestly like the cleanly thing. I don't know. I think it's like the, I think it's a polite thing is to go to him. It's definitely a polite, but it's definitely not cleanly. That's just lame. Yeah, it is lame. Sarah was lame. Sarah's currently lame. She still does. You know, a lame thing I did as a kid, I always knew I was going to be famous. What's your two? No, I, you were destined for something. I do. Oh, a couple of turns. Couple. I miss classes here and there, or, you know, back in Pflugerville, if you go to the house in Pflugerville, I, in like my room, the doors are still the same from when I grew up. If you open the door, like on the little hinge, you could just see a hundred Peyton signatures. I used to sign my walls, like practice my signature all through my house. We went through so much paint on my walls. I don't, I just don't know. Like, I love that for you, but your brain is just so fascinating. It is a fascinating place. Fascinating, scary, dark, weird. I mean, flooded with turmoil brain, but yeah, it's a fascinating place. You know, fascinating enough. My brain hasn't quite developed cause I did something the past, uh, this past week that I didn't tell you about, cause I was waiting for the podcast to tell you, oh my God, oh my God, a non-developed brain hit me with it. Two firetrucks showed up to my house this past week. Okay. I actually called you before they showed up cause I needed your help, but you weren't available. So what happened? Um, I almost made my house explode and this is not a joke. Like I genuinely almost made my house go kaboom. Yeah. So I'm, I'm in a relationship, right? And I, my girlfriend, we live together and so she's so great. Oh, sorry. It's ESPN. She's so great. And she, she like really takes care of the house. Like she does laundry. She cooks, she cleans. I mean, she does everything. I am useless. You do nothing, nothing to pay for all I do. And so. I was like, you know what? I love my girl. I want to do something nice for her. I want to cook or something. Right? Oh my God. And so I don't really know how to use the stove top at all, but I tried to use the stove top and so I didn't, so I turned it on and I was like, wow, that's a really nasty smell. And so I kept twisting it back and forth. I kept twisting it back and forth till a flame came and then it went and a big flame came and I said, Holy shit. He said, ah, exactly. But that wasn't the, that wasn't the bad part. So I, so then I put the pot there and fucking, I made something, I don't know what I made, but I made something dude. And I was so nervous about me cooking for her. Cause that's it. I didn't know how vulnerable cooking for someone is. Like it's such a vulnerable experience. It's like them seeing your butthole. Like it's like, well, I don't know about seeing the old fart star, but it's, it's, it's close. It's close. And so I made her some sandwiches on the stove. And so I was so nervous about it that I was nervous about her experiencing it. So I was like shaking and jittery. I turned off the stove, right? I just turned it back to its original point and I, it was going and I heard that noise, like a whistling, like coming out of it. And I was like, Oh, it's cooling down. So I left and I brought her the food, right? She's so thankful. I didn't sit there and watch her enjoy it. I'm pretty sure it ended up in the toilet. I was like, Oh, thanks, babe. Whatever she's biting into, it's so overcooked. And so, you know, some time went on and I was like, babe, I know your dinner that you ate was so good. It's time for dessert. You want to go to Sonic and get this ice cream that we both like to eat together. So we left the house. We came back to the house like 40 minutes later. Cause we enjoyed it in the, in the Sonic parking lot. We came back to the house. I opened the door and it's like, I got hit with this wave of like petrol, like gas. Monoxide. And I was like, I literally opened the door. I said, I said, Holy. I said, I said, what is that? I said, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, save yourself. Don't come in here. What is that? Save yourself. Help me. I don't know what it is either. And so I said, I said, God. Oh my God. And then that could have been so bad. Well. So if you do the math, it was 45 minutes that that was left on, that the stove was left on. So Sarah runs over there, turns the stove off. She said, baby, didn't turn it off. And I said, how? It ain't no flame on the thing. It's off. Ain't it? I ain't know. You know, the stove does fire. There's no fire. So it's off. Right. And so I'm sitting there. Right. And I just got a new air conditioner. Right. And so she says, we have to open up the windows. And I said, the we do. I said, I just bought this new AC. Right. There's 12 bands, bro. The worst person to know the we're not. And so we're sitting on the couch and I'm watching Hunter Hunter. And I started to get high. I'm getting high. And I'm like, I'm in the Hunter exam. I like, what the is going on? And then so CJ crawls out of his room. You know how bad it's got to be. The house has been on fire. And so CJ goes, hey, he's like, hey, something going on. CJ comes out. He's like, hey, some, is everything all right down there? I couldn't, I smell something. And I go, CJ, you smell that? And he goes, I can't breathe. He goes, I can't breathe. Are you hungry? and so i was like yeah bro it's bad i was like i left the stove on and he goes bro you should probably google what to do and sarah is so sweet she knew what to do she was trying to open up the windows but i'm 12 bands on this air conditioning we're not opening a window i just got an ac unit it's 115 degrees outside i'm not doing it so hot and so we google it's like what happens if you leave the stove on for 45 minutes and there's gas coming out for 45 minutes and it goes immediately evacuate it says don't don't light a match don't turn on a switch it says don't flick a switch on don't turn on a light i did all that you go it's dark in this you know the only way to get rid of this is a candle let's turn on this and so they go evacuate the house immediately call 9-1-1 i said i'm not calling the police i'm not doing it that's in a rat it's it's like it's like 10 30 at night it's a quiet neighborhood i'm not calling the cops bro they'll find some in cj's room that i don't know that's in there i mean now i'm going down for it the guy knows what he's harvesting in that room it's so it's so i and so i was like i'll call the fire department so i called the fire department and i told them hey man this is what's going on and they said oh okay we're on our way and i said oh man so they're on their way no bro you don't have to just tell me what to do no you need to get out of the home no they're they said immediately lift up all the the they said uh they go open all the windows open all the windows and i just got an ac unit no i they said open all the windows i said sarah i told you dumbass i'm the worst person i just open up all the windows i open up all the windows and they're like we're on our way now i thought now i've seen fire department people pull up in like ford trucks like for the non-emergency people oh and so i thought that's what was gonna happen literally like 10 minutes go by and it looks like it looks like a wwe intro is two fire trucks pull up with their lights on it's 10 30 at night i'm in a quiet neighborhood everybody's coming outside oh yeah this is like a look at a harrowing panic for you so as soon as i see that i go to any of the attention no no as soon as i see that i go take a shower i go take a swear to god sarah worse man sarah handled it i didn't take care of it i'm not doing that i cannot take that embarrassment i cannot do it sorry oh my god you're the worst yeah that is okay i asked her what they look like oh you go what they say you just come out you're like there's still some soap what they say you're putting in cream yeah they said they said it was fine they said just uh keep the windows open payton oh my god dude i i first off i have a story for you okay about how i embarrassed myself i thought i was gonna win for funniest story wow that's the truth very true story too oh my god okay jay was like i kind of like it he goes he goes do you think you can capture that somehow in a jar he goes see if i take that and siphon it into my it might be fantastic yeah that was my story oh my god what happened to you though what was embarrassing so this past week we finally uh de uh decompressed a little bit domestic shows are done we're still doing a lot of things we're getting ready to go uh to australia the pond australia tickets available now link in the bio or in the description i said a little stiff let's go get a massage right good massage now the only unfortunate part is i pretty much every time i get a massage it's like this a same day like i want it right now type thing yeah and the place i have the credits with it you gotta like book in advance right so i'm like you gotta go some random spot so i go to one maybe 10 minutes from the house it's always a dangerous game very dangerous game but to my surprise it was pretty decent like amenities nice there wasn't a weird funky smell yeah but it was it was a normal massage now i get to this massage and she's i mean really it's one of those like she's on her knees and on her feet on my lower back and she's standing on you standing and she's oh she got the poles up top oh i know you went do you i don't know where you went i know it's great and she's i don't like that get your hooves off me yeah i don't i always like i'm like she has to be professional she has to at least have clean feet but i don't know i felt i felt the corn before i would i would sue them if i felt a can't sign a registered llc dude that that might be yeah it's not i almost missed it so massage is going it's great yeah and about i'd say halfway like 30 minute mark she's really in my lower back yeah and i'm like ah i'm sitting there oh oh she goes uh she's just there's a little language barrier but she's like is everything okay yeah no she didn't say it like that yeah no you're getting me there i'm like yeah it's all good it's all good but she's it's so much in the lower back it's starting to mess with my tummy a little bit no i'm getting like gassy yeah and i'm like god man i'm like i'm gonna have to fight for another half hour yeah yeah she goes turn over bada bing bada boom and now we're on the front now we're on the front she's standing on your no no no no no she's doing excuse me head arms stuff like that yeah last 10 minutes she goes flip back over i'm like i've never flipped this many times in massage by the way i've never done that so i'm flipping back over i'm getting dizzy what's going on so she's like now we're gonna do your feet and then i can do the back of your head and i'm like okay she does the back of my head first fantastic and now i'm getting real loose and i'm like i i am going to the second i leave this table i'm gonna she works her way shoulders real quick she gets my legs now she does a maneuver and in my mind i'm like there is a literal it's a coin flip if i'm about to fart and that is gonna be terrible she's doing my legs it feels great i'm like oh my god we have to be close to done she gets my ankle everything's good and she takes my leg like a physical therapist and she literally goes she takes my leg and shakes it and i literally and it came out with the bounce she grabbed my ankle and she said i swear to god i'm never coming back it stunk terrible but the worst part was it wasn't silent because she's sitting there moving my cheeks because she's flopping my leg rub rub rub she goes dude and it came it came out excuse cam's cost he's very sick by the way i'm not sick we'll talk about it after this story but she's sitting there and she goes pop pop and it was like yeah bro i you would talk about instantly i'm sweating yeah instantly i'm 20 degrees hotter so embarrassed thank the lord yeah for the slight language barrier because that would have been a very awkward conversation what'd she say did she giggle said nothing she just said a single word oh god bless your heart i was like bless your heart she was like probably 50. yeah she just went dude the most awkward massage she said all right she said all finished i was just caught up in the it was my story bro that actually happened i was just caught up in the moment i'm sorry she said she said hey we're all done she said uh i think we're leaving she said hey massage is over and i said okay thank you and then she left and i let me put on my clothes i walked to the front she said you want to water a minute i said no no thanks bye and i walked right out bro most of i've never i've never farted at a massage place never know that it was dude it was so embarrassing like last month i went to this new massage place and it was this dude bro he was rough on my i was butt naked too he was drilling my dog i was in that thing i said oh i said you in me dog i said oh not so fast so oh you in my right now he want to get that boom that ratatata what gotta going crazy for that oh dude what is happening he wants to get my boondock he want to get that boom that ratatata what language is that what are you doing in you what are you saying she want to get my rod i think it's that seemingly in that boom that ratatata got him going crazy for that oh na na na na what is that song first off there's no way there's i bet a thousand dollars i bet a million dollars i can't bet a million i've had ten thousand dollars i bet a hundred bucks that you've heard that song she want to get my boom but caught that ratatata got it going crazy for that oh na na na na never heard that really what does that mean i'm not sure let me break let me write geniuses say the first line i believe this is this is right so you could be wrong no you say it and then i'll break it down okay from my perspective so my first time hearing this uh i think actually he wants to because she's talking about herself now i wasn't gonna say it i was like it's a progressive song i was like what's his name because he's a progressive guy but he's really just he's really just breaking open brand new beginning yeah he's breaking barriers he want to get that boomba clot that ratatatata he want to get that boomba clot that ratatatata yeah i'm sure he wants a piece of that that butt and when it dances it goes ratatatata yeah he wants some of that just that shaking caboose okay go ahead what's the next got him going crazy for that oh na na na na oh he's got he he's losing his mind over that poonani yeah he's losing his mind over your cookie yeah he's absolutely going nuts he wants that bison yeah oh he wants to see that turtledove he wants to pet that turtledove right there he wants that capybara yeah he does he does he wants that dragon here we go oh he wants that sligoo oh it's a pokemon oh my god dude okay what's the next part of the song oh that's all i know that's literally all i know he went in that boom that ratatata got him going crazy for that ooh na na na yeah that's it that's hot it's very hot you should know podcast this episode is brought to you by rocket money it is you know i i am not one for stress i don't handle it well i don't like it and 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you for letting me know rocket money and if you don't know rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster join it rocket money dot com slash ysk that's rocket money dot com slash ysk rocket money dot com slash ysk now on to the rest of the episode police are here oh my god speaking of police are here there was a story i had from minnesota why did i say it like minnesota move there it's not a long story but it's from summer slam um so i was filming for the brand deal outside of the stadium and i needed a wide shot of the stadium before i walked in no you can see this on my actually you don't have to watch it deal is done um so i was outside shooting a thing right and i had to take a couple takes i was nervous i was filming in front of people i don't like it and people were interrupting which is fine and coming up to me um but behind me you can see there's a SWAT truck so there's a SWAT truck that was parked behind me right and i got the shot and i noticed and sarah went this is a really sick thing for the background i was like do you think they'll care that the SWAT truck's in the background i said no it's cool it looks cool it gives it an edge and so i walked past it and there was a guy in the i assume a SWAT person he was in the front driver's seat right and i was pointing at the truck like a little boy and i was like looking at it right and he goes like he's me a two-finger wag and i think he you need to take a water there you go and so he um he gave me the two-finger wagon he like points at me i think he notices me or something but he never full out says he gets out of the truck right and i'm looking at it and i was like dude this is bad it's like i've never seen a SWAT truck this close and he goes that's probably a good thing and i go okay and then he goes you want to get in oh no dude so i said yeah sure you get in now there's a picture of this too now but this is where things went south i don't know how SWAT trucks work right i thought it was just that driver in there so i get in i'm joking with the guy outside the SWAT truck right and i go oh dude i'm about to go get somebody and so i jump in the truck like fast like i hop in it and i start moving the wheel like that i look back peyton harden i look back and there's six dudes like this looking at me and they say some sort of code they go they they go whoop la or some i don't know what they say some code they know they go whoop la whoop la and i go what the and then they're like get on the ground and i go oh and then i go he let me he let me and then they're and then they banged on the the thing and they're like they said let them know or something they get started having a conversation you gotta let them know before there's a guy if that would have been the end of me outside of the viking stadium and a SWAT truck and all the dude gave gave me with some sticker like hey like and there's a picture of this too i have a picture cj put it on the screen you literally treated it like you were 10 you said oh oh my god get the bad guy and i heard whoop la whoop la and i said what the they go whoop la india golf 99er get your it was scary you just go oh it was scary man for sure it was a scary experience it was a scary experience bro oh my god you're just not you're not a real person i go through a lot of stories and it's so funny like going on tiktok and by the way if you're on tiktok watching this stop calling me jackson yeah stop oh my god no no it has nothing to do with jackson but you just reminded me something okay i i'm finally i'm willing to die on this hill i'm finally finally gonna have this debate with you oh god what is it you get on to me for this and you've done it forever my wife gets on to me for this okay but i saw a tiktok that gives me reason and gives me hope oh god so i love when you get a validation through strangers oh yeah oh and it's it's a real sense of validation this man has told me for literally a decade bro don't sit on my bed bro we were just outside don't sit on my bed yes that's so gross don't sit on my bed with your outside clothes on it is very gross that's not gross at all sitting on a bed with outside clothes on is probably top three most disgusting things that's not gross at all if i got in your bed you have a you have a conversation the top of the comforter never touches you you get under the comforter because if that if you want to hold that standard every day you get back home you sit on the couch you sit on the couch you're outside clothes on you sit on the couch other people do everybody's outside clothes on the couch it's designated for that yes i have but i have seen you shirtless on your couch people take naps on your couch sure that's your couch and you want to talk about bacteria whatever the outside clothes there's not sheets in there oh no though i'm talking about sheets that's what if i'm on the sheets you are on sheets germs spread bro germs travel and the main thing is sheets first off i'm a psycho second off that now you have walked if i sit on the edge of your bed like that and out and outside clothes don't touch my bed that is like why do you want to first of all first of all getting in another man's room is crazy like like if you're in a stranger's house you never even go to their primary bedroom okay you don't even go in there and then to get on their bed i mean that's crazy that's sanctuary that's fine and that is sanctuary i'm saying just the baseline fact i agree with you like if you're sitting on a bed with outside clothes is disgusting no like that is a that is that is a sin no it is not because look that is a place of rest in haven right the outside world is disgusting there's few places like you can go on a couch with your outside clothes on that's fine because that's a community spot couches are communal but it's in your house that's fine and it's the same germs you're talking about no yes but that is a communal spot that is just for lounging and and just hanging and it's for you can eat on it you can do all that different stuff that's fine like these couches sure this is not the same as a bed this is it's supposed to just sit casually talk that's fine just like the kitchen if you go and put dishes in that sink it's not gross but if you go put dishes in your bathroom sink that's disgusting that is gross exactly it's the same premise but can you understand what i'm saying i understand exactly sanctuary safe haven peace and rest yeah inshallah all that's fine right i'm saying the actual argument of me being on top of the bed me being in the bed but that's even wrong either way you're saying the top of your comforter never touches your body or your sheets or your face how are you sleeping what if i sit at the edge of your bed do you get after a long day and you go i'm gonna take a resty and you're like that on the cover the bottom that's a crazy i mean dude i mean you just fulfilled some dreams right there that screenshot's got it's gonna get sticky on some people's phones and that's that's not okay but i'm saying the comforter because you've always said this my wife always said this and i finally saw and it validates me and i'm here for i'm here to stay the top of the comforter oh my what is it show and tell we're gonna okay no you shut up so like say this is the shut up so this is the comforter right this is the top of it i get under it right oops my my body's on this comforter now and i'm like this i curl up i twirl and i go like this yeah that's directly on my cheek on my face that's not where i'm sitting why would i sit on your pillow you've laid on my bed i've laid on it and that's fine and whatever i mean your whole body's on my on my bed give me the comforter this is the bed right yes this is the bed yeah for the sake of the argument that this is the front of the bed yeah this is the back yeah this is the back of the bed over here right i if i ever sit on your bed for a quick conversation we just walked in i am sitting at the i'm talking the absolute big toe of the bed show me very end oh you're a lying piece of oh you're a liar oh you're a liar this is why would i go and take my white and put it right on your pillows and go dude let's talk about lunch you have done that you've sat oh my god and you put your arm on my pillow like this you put your arm on my pillow like this that's in the hotel that's my bed that's first you can't say about cleanliness in a hotel you live like you're like you've been homeless no no you know you do you literally go dude those chips are good oh no it's terrible back to the bed you can't say about a hotel you go oh oh oh that's what you do inside of a hotel yeah that's what they're for that no that is i mean but you know the crazy part is you know the crazy thing is is the fact that it bothers you that i tell you you can't sit in a specific part of my house no that's fair i'm talking about just the sentiment i had to get that it's disgusting because i don't know because the basically the video the guy was saying i don't ever want to hear you tell me that yes the guy was white he's okay of course he was he said i don't want you to tell me i can't sit on my bed with my outside clothes if everyone does it on their couch and multiple people do it on their couch it's different and it's every day on their couch it's different because that's not where you rest your head at night i understand if you're if you're if you're taking your wranglers and you're sitting on your pillow you're already a creep people sit in the middle of the bed on the edge yeah toward the bottom yeah that's fine that comforter is not touching your face that comforter is not doing you're gonna open it at the top you're gonna slither right in and close up you have another question for you that is i mean that's a fair debate i mean it's just nasty people trying to confirm their nastiness it's nasty people trying to be heard but a lot of people matter but a lot of people have been like sending me stuff because like i've been reading off like questions that i'm getting from the audience which i really love and so this girl named um lay lai or her name's joy on instagram um she sent me a question that i really like okay really like hit me with it whenever you're taking a number two right when you're in the bathroom taking the number two do you okay i am so excited to see what you say because i've i gotta i i'm very passionate about this okay when you sit down to take a poo when you're done do you stand up to flush or do you stay sitting to flush that's a question i stand up and flush really i stand up and flush why that's when i look at my poop oh i've never looked at my stool i've never looked at my stool i have no idea what comes out of me looks like i don't ever want to know that 27 years i've never seen my own poopoo so you look when you wipe but you don't look at the actual byproduct yes 100 if that's not being born first if that's not an backwards baby i don't know what is dude no there's no there's there's actually that i'm starting to get a little irritated why that's disgusting to me that's disgusting and first of all the people okay i i'm blindfolded when i cut the steak and then i peek at the bite but i never look at the actual i'm gonna i'm gonna have an argument because i'm not i know your argument why do you look at your stool i don't know if there's an exact reason but you look you want to see if it's runny diarrhea-y i can feel that coming out of me i don't need to look at it i can't feel it when i wipe you can't there's called a ghost wipes there's called you i understand but you look at it just for that that is like the are you to see if you're healthy the logging yeah is there what's in there is there blood okay but that's the that's fair but if i were to look i'm not a doctor bro i barely know math like you know what i mean like i just found out where chicago is that i do not know things and so if i'm looking at that i'm just now i'm just being freak i'm like look at that pot i'm not sure i have a reason for looking at my disgusting but i do every time bro i go all right i'm done last one that one's a little dry i think we're done that's crazy no that's great no cam no that makes me question you as a man that's just please don't potty train malachi please take him to our house i'll potty train him please do if i take him to your house to potty train he's gonna piss on the wall no he won't he's gonna be like rockstar no you're kidding no first of all i i sit down i'll get to your kid in a minute i have something to say about him what but when i sit down when i flush one because i don't want to look there's no point two i can reach yeah three it sometimes if your pot has enough water it's like a a free bidet you get a little kiss from god that no it's like this that if you're gonna go if you're letting finding nemo go help and kiss your that no i love it that's disgusting i love it and you cannot first off you can't i know we can reach if i got a courtesy flush i'm gonna blow a hole in someone's bathroom yeah courtesy flush i've never heard you flushed i think we are equally gross on this poop spectrum we're on different teams you've never looked at your yeah but you look when you wipe yes to know if i'm done cleanliness okay cool cleanliness you don't look at your poop no no reason and you have never courtesy flushed i'm sure i have like it's not a regular thing don't look when i wipe until i feel done and then i check the last wipe gross i do look at my poop and i will courtesy flush why do you courtesy flush it's the smell in your own home no god no oh okay god no no you only courtesy flush when you're gonna go someone else's house that's why you don't do it in public or if you're in someone else's house oh and i'm in you know something that your father clearly doesn't understand your father dropped a missile in my house he cleared out that's the cra that's the craziest ever smelled my entire life yeah his dad took one poop in my guest bathroom downstairs my entire first floor of my home was ruined yeah it's insane yeah he he he's been known like whenever my parents were dating and they like moved in together an apartment my mom would make him go to the gas station to poop anytime like on a regular day he'd be like i have to poop and he has to get in his car and go somewhere like that's that's i've never loved somebody that much never loved somebody that much i'm not doing that i swear to god if live was like you need to go to the gas age poop i'd be like you're out of your yeah you're lost you're out of your mind you're lost there's okay first off that to end the poop yeah i think the more normal one is to stand up i think more people would say they stand up to flush i know because and i like to linger a little bit afterwards i like to sit there maybe talk maybe talk to myself like what's what's the world going to bring me when i open that door what are you bouncing ideas off yourself oh i think you become your own assistant oh the bathroom is the most creative place for me dude the bathroom is just a like a quick five minute break for me like a breathing time that's a very married dad married oh my god the lawn in the bathroom and i don't do my own lawn work so all i got yeah that's crazy that's that's ridiculous speaking of your son yeah what the hell is this he came over uh oh my god he did i babysitted cam's kid i don't know if that vlogs out babysit what babysat babysitting babysat you babysat it's past tense you babysat i babysit it you didn't babysit it no you didn't you babysat you babysat malachi i bad babysitted malachi yeah oh i babysitted him oh my god i babysit your kid yeah and um i would like to make this proclamation oh my god you better watch your tongue i have made your kid smarter he left my house smarter than you brought him furthest thing from the truth that's so true how do you think so i've taught him things how do you teach him dude because he honestly he was a little regressed from what i thought he was my kid okay this is not a parent oh my kid's the best oh no it's a hundred percent no it's not my kid is genuinely he's really smart genuinely very smart you know he's it's actually kind of weird it is but not as smart as i thought he was you definitely brought it up to a tier and so i was talking to him like hey brother you want to like you know what i mean yeah he's 18 months right he doesn't know what hey brother you know what you want to you know what i'm talking about you know hey hey brother hey brother hey big dog you know what i'm saying brother he's not gonna be what hey bro no and so i i like he he didn't know i had to teach him what a banana was that's not true i know i taught him no no no nana that's wrong see i don't teach him wrong things so and i course corrected him it was cute so i was holding him right and we were feeding him right and and he god he's nasty and gross oh he's so gross oh this food gets everywhere boy so gross and y'all didn't bring a god booster seat whatever it's called for him to eat and so i i'm sarah at night but i'm on him your kid would have starved if it was up to me i'm not holding him during that but sarah was holding him right and feeding him he was all over her hands and i was like oh my god he was mixing mac and apple sauce i said oh god and he thought a piece of chicken was a bug and i said lock in kid it's not a bug anyway so it was welcome welcome that was a you had a four hour taste test today yeah and so over there on the right side of my kitchen we i have a tub of bananas yeah and we had just gotten off the phone with my mom and he calls my mom nanny nanny yep and so we just hung up the phone he hung up on her racist by the way there's already well you know he's no and there's now that's the that's the one thing i'm gonna have to work on a little harder but hey no that they're great people so um there is a segment so he goes nana and i said no nanny just hung up the phone brother and he goes nana and i said it you're regressed my boy knows what he's talking about no no and then he said nanny bye hang up then he said nana yeah banana and well no he didn't say banana and so you shorten things all the time and so what i shortened oh you don't shorten things we say it wrong babysitting it it's babysat you dumb here we go and so i learned sarah had to teach me because i don't speak dumb and so you better watch she goes she goes he's talking about the bananas and i go well he's saying it wrong and she goes he's a baby and i go i go how does he learn teaching him right right and so i brought it over and he started going nana and he wanted it right and so i said not until you say it all right you held you held my son hostage to his own food when he was saying the correct word interesting no no no he was saying nana and i said banana and he was like and i said banana and he was like he said and i said god pass three syllables you're cooked but oh yeah he's 18 months he's 18 months but then you're treating him like he's three already but then once That's how he was going to get ahead. And so he went behind that. And I was close enough. And I fed him. And he sucked on it twice and threw it. And I said, you wasteful son of a bitch. He was probably already full. And, dude, he stresses me out, dude. So I spent $300. No one told you to do that first. Well, I'm a great uncle. I did not believe you. I'm a great uncle. Good uncle, yeah. No, great. No, good uncle. No, good uncle. He doesn't have a fire truck tent at your house. Life doesn't equate to money and what you spent. No, it doesn't. You said you looked at my kid. You held him hostage from his food. You told him he was wrong and stupid. You called him a wasteful piece of shit and you didn't feed him. And so I bought him a bunch of books, right? He loved the books I picked. He loved the books. Right? And he's a nerd. Book, read, book, read. I said, you don't want to throw some shit around? He didn't. He just wanted to read all day. He'll do it all. Yeah, but really heavy on the reading that day. And so I was sitting there reading, bro. And it pissed me off. So I was reading. And the book didn't make sense, dude. Whoever wrote it sucked. None of them do. None of them do. And he goes, it was a Spider-Man book. And it was so off of canon events. I was like, these people would never be in a room together. And so it was like, Spider-Man fought Black Panther. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. Spider-Man was with DC. And Marvel is now in the multiverse with Batman. I said, no, he's not. And so I was reading it. And he goes, Spider-Man did something with Green Goblin. Right? And he was locked in. And the second sentence, it had a little apostrophe in there. So it made me stutter. And as soon as I stuttered on my word, kid was out of the book. He was a meaty laugh. I said, and Spider-Man climbed the tree. And he literally closed the book. He said, hey, hey, man. Hey, man, you going to do this right? I know my dad says you're a little different and whatnot. But can you read to me, brother? Yeah. All right. Yeah. And then, dare I say, your wife took too long to pick him back up. She was gone for a while. There was a time I said, God, the whole Saturday is gone. I said, so I'm going to come take the kid. Yes or no, did you go out for drinks afterwards? What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, crazy. And I almost spent $25,000 on a bottle of wine on accident. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by the greatest of all time. I'm going to look directly into the camera the whole time. It is Fabletics. Fabletics is the greatest brand on earth. And this is not just a sponsorship thing. This is not just a brand partnership thing. This is a real life thing. Fabletics has a whole closet in my house. And if you don't. Believe me, like how much I love Fabletics, I'm wearing it right now. Look at. Boom. These shorts. And that's what the thing I love about Fabletics. It's the diversity of Fabletics. I can wear these shorts and I can wear these shorts to sleep. I can wear them to work out. I can wear them to work. Same thing with their pants. I love their pants. I wore them for like 99% of the shows on tour because you can dress them up. You can dress them down. You can dress them in between. There is nothing like Fabletics. It is so hard for me to find clothes that are universal and that can fit. And Fabletics. Is that for me? And you can shop now at Fabletics.com/YSK to get 70 to 80% off of everything. When you sign up as a new VIP. Just take a quick style quiz and be sure to select YSK when prompted to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer though. So do not wait. Again, that's Fabletics.com/YSK for 70 to 80% off everything as a new VIP. Cam's wearing Fabletics behind the camera right now. So is Robbie. So is CJ. So is Ariel. Everybody's wearing it right now. And you should be wearing it too. Okay. I don't know if I'm having a stroke. You said 25 grand. I almost spent $25,000 on a bottle of wine at a restaurant. How does one accidentally almost do that? How in the absolute hell do you accidentally almost buy a 25,000? I almost bought a Prius. I, we were out and about and I just, I. I almost bought a RAV4. It was crazy. So me and Sarah, right? We went to a nice dinner together and we were like, we haven't been on a date in so long, babe. Let's get dressed up. And we went, we went to this like really nice seafood restaurant. And a lot of the words in there didn't make sense to me. And there wasn't like prices on the menu for everything. Oh God. You know, you're in a scary territory and it was really dark in there. Oh God. They're trying to, they're trying to take it all. And so I was trying to be big baller, right? Whatever. So I'm, you know, I'm getting old. So I was looking at the menu. I was like, I was like, okay, and so you got a cheese bargain and so that's no, I gotta have that accent. Okay. So, and so we're ordering, right? I start off with an old fashioned, I drink the old fashioned and then Sarah's like, let's share a bottle of wine. She was like, I kind of feel wine. Like we always, you know, let's get some wine shorty. And so I was like, let's get a bottle. And I was like, you know what, babe, I'll pick, I'll pick. And so I'm looking at, I'm looking at the, the, the wine, right? And none, some of them have prices. Some of them don't, I don't really know wines. I know. I like red wine. I think I don't really know. And so one of them had like this, like nice star asterisk. Like it had a little more celebration on the thing just written on the menu. Yeah. And I was like, I was like, Oh, I was like, is this a wine? And she goes, she goes, this is one of the most world renowned wines you could buy. And I said, I'm. I'm a world renowned type of bring me the wine. Yeah, you are. And now I've been in nice restaurants where they bring a bottle of wine. Right. And it takes probably like, you know, 10 minutes, maybe they got to go get it out from the back of the thing, whatever, dah, dah, dah, prep it up, make it look nice. Now I should have known something was wrong. Whenever the waitress left and she didn't go to the wine cabinet or the kitchen. She went to the back, right? We're like the manager and everybody is at the vault and now the security of the restaurant, I see them all on their ear pieces. And I'm like, I was like, Oh, I don't know. You know, some shady is going on, shady is going on. Right. Now two security guards come over and the owner of the restaurant, he wasn't there. He came in. So like I said, it took like 35 minutes. The owner of the restaurant, the owner in came into the restaurant. Right. And he was nice. And he goes, hi, Mr. Harden. Nice to meet you. I'm so-and-so. And I was like, Oh, you watch the podcast, right? Cause that happens sometimes, right? Yeah. The owner will come up, but the security was strange. Right. They're sitting there. Eagles landed talking to the prospect right now. And so they're going, they're going, you have a, you know, amazing taste. And I was like, would you, they were like, would you like to go to the back room? We have a private like back room. And I said, no, I'm fine here. I'm fine. I'm like in the middle of like a, this is great. I'm actually still eating my food, man. If you don't mind, like two tabletop, like in the middle of the restaurant, like not even secluded at all. I'm just in the middle of this restaurant. And so I go, no, no. Okay, Sarah, you want to go to this? No, I'm fine. Now they bring out this wine, right? And it's like vaulted in this case. And then there's this guy with this display thing where he's about to peel the cork. Now they're like this wine. They only make 4,000 of them globally a year. And I said, wow, that sounds expensive. And I go, and then he go, and I go, wow, man, that's awesome. I was like, so y'all got one? And they're like, well, yeah, we, we did. And they're like a glass. So this wine is $4,900. I said, what? I said, Oh, I said a glass. And now at this time, the guy, there's a guy who's like a wine specialist or whatever. He's starting to prepare. Now he has like meta glasses on, right? And he's like, he's like, he's like about making a presentation. He was like, he was like a wine enthusiast. He was so excited about opening this bottle in the bottle. It's called 2019 domain De La Roche. Romani Conti DRC Romani Conti Grand Cru bottle, 750 milliliters. And you can buy it online right now at $25,000, but you can't just buy it at a store. You have to win it in an auction or like stuff like that. And so the guy was going to peel it. And as soon as he said it's 20, like it was $5,000 a bottle. I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. I go, I go. So how much is the bottle? And he goes roughly $25,000. I said, never come back here. Never come to this table with that. I said, oh, this is a big mistake. I drink Josh wine from target. I said, I don't know what you got going dog. Like I don't, I drink prisoner. Like, I don't know what this is you have going on. Six, four years ago, I was slapping a bag. Cause like, I don't know. Oh my God. Josh wine and prisoner is so good. I started a guy, dude, Sarah was eating lobsters. She went. Dude, my heart hit my, oh, a hundred percent guys. I was like, I would have physically assaulted him before he could get that label open. I was like, no. Yeah. So I'm never going back to that restaurant again. You know, embarrassing. That is, you can't have the presentation, leave your table. Everybody else at the restaurant was like this. Everyone. I wonder what he's getting. I wonder what. Oh, there you go. Oh, that's the guy from the podcast. Oh, wow. Dude, I guess they tell really good. Jokes. I guess they tell the best jokes. That kind of happened to me at a, at a bank. I can't tell. I can't keep telling stories. Yeah. You told me that. I'll tell you that next week. That is absolutely. Bank teller held up my check. He said, I could sue chase. I could sue chase. That was crazy. That was crazy. I've never felt so violated. Bro. You. Okay. You just randomly said, uh, who, sorry. You said about the dinner experience that same night that you watched Malachi. Liv was feeling froggy and she wanted, she wanted to play tigers. No, she wanted to cook dinner. Oh, no, no, no. She was feeling feisty. I go, oh, you got something? She made me a quesadilla. That's marriage, baby. And it is. And, bro, we're just fresh off the second baby. So I'm like, I don't expect much right now. She's killing it. She's killing the game. You go, hey. No, but she wanted to cook dinner. We've been getting meals and stuff a lot. So she wanted to cook dinner. Yeah, we have. And very simple. We wanted to do, like, the eatables, right? Cool. So we get Malachi back from your house. We put him down, and I'm rocking Mylon. She's just in the kitchen. She's like, I really just want to cook tonight. I'm like, go for it. She cooks the food. It's great. Now, I don't know if this is a sign from the Lord or just a terrible accident. I put Mylon in his bouncer. He's perfectly fine. We go through the whole dinner. Everything's good. I eat my whole bowl. Great. Now he starts to get a little chatty. My wife goes, oh, you had him last night. Babe, I'll go take care of him. She goes and gets Mylon. I'm looking at her bowl. There's a decent amount of food left. I go, oh, I sure am hungry. I go, babe, you done? You done with your bowl, right? Like, you're done, right? I'm no longer asking her. I'm telling her, you're done, right? Yeah, you finished. And she goes, uh, yeah, I'm done, yeah. You can have it. And I go, oh, thanks, awesome. I grab the bowl. And I went. What is that? What did I tell you? I don't know if this was a sign from God or if my wife was trying to murder me. And she's a genius. What happened? I take that third bite. I literally thought I've, like, cracked my entire mouth. Not even a tooth. My whole mouth. There was a screw. There was a screw. In the fajita bowl. And I, again, I immediately went. And I went. What the f**k? I could leave for way less. I would divorce for way less than that. Are you out of your f**king mind? You put a bolt with a washer in my fajita bowl? Like, you can't mistake that. No. You can't accidentally do that. That doesn't fall from the kitchen. Yeah. And she knew. Oh, you. One other time, she's like, oh, I'll go get my island. She knew it. Yeah. She knew it. She said, no, I'll get the baby, babe. You eat. And I said, you finished, right? She goes, she tried to play it off. Yeah, you can have the rest, I guess. That was a clean bolt, too. She just, she got that bolt specifically. Oh, it's not a clean bolt. No, that was dirty. I swear to the Lord. I put on anything I've ever loved. On my sons, on my wife, everything. Yeah. I literally took a bite. And I thought it was like the craziest from like, like H-E-B ever. I thought there was like a, like a fish bone inside of the chicken breast. And I went, oh, and then I went. It was a. God, you have strong enamel. My tooth would have been, I would have had no teeth. I would have been like a Popeye episode. Yeah, I did one side. This whole side's gone, too. Wait, did you talk to her? Did you ask her what, what happened? Peyton, I screamed in my house. I said, what the. And she went, what are you, what? She goes, what? Yeah, she said, what? What could be going so wrong? And I went, there's a screw in my mouth. She's like, what are you talking about? And I said, Olivia, I'm not kidding. Come look at this. And I showed her the screw. And then literally for like, she, she acted like she had no idea. She's like, that's so crazy. Like, how could that happen? But no, she, she had no, she was like, what the hell? But like, so then I go down. Obviously, I don't think my wife put it in there. Oh, you're better than me. Yeah, she could have. And I'm. Somebody's getting blamed. I'm going to hire a PI. Two of them kids are her. But then I'm like, like genuinely. It low-key has to be her. Yeah. A screw can't fall into a fajita bowl. Yeah, you can't. That's what I'm saying. Everything was made on the stove. Yeah. The bowls were right there. Food went straight into the bowls. It doesn't accidentally happen. That doesn't happen. That's not an accident. Can't even tell you the last time I seen a loose bolt. Can't even tell you. And you know what's crazy? Yeah. There's a couple loose bolts in the junk drawer. Guess where the junk drawer is? Right next to the stove. Oh, she went. She said, yeah, he's been rude today. That is crazy. Is it crazy to get a PI for your wife? Circumstantial. See, okay, what if you assume that she's cheating, right? You just have an assumption, like a gut feeling. Here we go. Is it worse to be wrong? Is it worse to get a PI and be wrong? That's. Or is it worse to get a PI and be right? It's definitely worse to be wrong. Oh, no, you're crazy. You're crazy. If I get a PI and he brings me a picture of my wife getting railed or like, first off, how'd you get that image? That's incredible work. What are you in the air? It's a POV. Who's in the. God, you're good at your job. Wow, you're investigative, man. How'd you get that angle? Were you in the vent? Zoomed in? I don't know. He's like this. He said, I got a video, too, if you want. That's some of the funniest I've ever heard. Oh, my God. Do you think that's like PI's like secondary job? It's like, oh, I caught her cheating, so I know she's cheating. I might as well get one in, too. Oh, my God. That's genius. I'd be Robbie if he was a PI. Oh, 100%. What'd you do if that Cubs guy. I, okay, but listen, if I get a PI. Yeah. He brings physical evidence. They're at a bar together. They, oh, she, a girl's night at the casino. It's just her and a dude. Right. Whatever. Yeah. Everything I felt is now justified. The money I've spent is justified. Right. And now what, the ball is in my court, and I can do whatever I want going forward. I'm not talking about some sick revenge plot. I'm talking about if I want to leave, I can leave. If I want to whatever, if I want to confront her. You're tripping. If I pay money, and a guy goes, man, I mean, she spends a lot on coffee, but that's all I got for you. She's as honest as they come. Yeah. That's way worse. That's way worse. Because now I don't. I don't trust my wife when she's told me that she's not doing anything. But you already didn't trust her before because you hired the PI, or you were even thinking about hiring the PI, even if you didn't go through with it. My distrust, if it's proven right, I know I wasn't tripping, and I know I'm real, but if my distrust is, there's nothing there, no substance, I don't trust my wife, I don't love her enough, and I wasted money. You're insane. Explain to me how, if it's right, that's better. Because if I, even, I think having the thought of hiring a PI and not going through with it is the same as having the thought of a PI and going through with it. You. Had the thought, regardless. Might as well go through with it and make yourself feel good. But what if nothing shows up? Then I'll be okay. That's what I wanted. Thank God. Nothing's going on. All right, you did your job. I did my job. We're good. I'm just being thorough. That's, but that's. You wouldn't do that for no reason. But that breaks the complete barrier of trust. No, I'll tell you. Maybe. There's no way. Hey, I thought you were cheating. You hire a PI for Sarah. Yeah. Tails her for two weeks. Brings back absolutely nothing. You're out several thousand dollars. I'd be like, baby. You literally sit down at dinner and go, hey, by the way, I had someone following you for two weeks. I thought you were cheating on me, but you're not. I love you. Let's go watch Hunter x Hunter. I would say it cooler than that. By the way, I watch that alone. But I, I, I'll do a cooler than that. I'll be drinking, right? I rejected the $25,000 wine. No, we're just sitting there drinking. I'm like. Drinking our Josh wine. I'm like, oh, oh my God, babe, dude. Life's crazy, babe, dude. You know, you know me. I'm so insecure sometimes. It's so wild. I thought you were cheating on me. Here, I'll be Sarah. I was cheating. And I like, I hired a private investigator to like crazy thing. I was wrong. I love being wrong though. You, babe, you hired a private investigator on me. What the is wrong with you? I thought you were cheating. Yeah, I heard that. And you didn't stutter. Surprisingly. Yeah. Well, why would you hire? You didn't even bring this up to me. You didn't even question me about it. Cause you're. You could hide it. And let's get, let's get out of the scene. Hiring a private investigator is the same thing as going through your partner's phone. It's the same thing. You're just finding a professional phone goer through it. You might be, you might be a different breed of insane. I think I've just been through a lot. I think you've been through a lot more than one little, little boy's heart should take. But going through a partner's phone, I see what you're saying. The bridge. Yeah. It's way different levels of severity. I don't think so. My girl goes to take a shit. She leaves the phone and I snoop through it real quick. Oh, there's nothing. Oh, thank God. Do you tell her you went through it? First off, how do you, how do you contact a private investigator? Oh, it's easy. There's billboards everywhere. You're dead. This is that billboards online, dude. Yeah. The internet's a vast place. You're kidding. No. I might get one. Not for live. Not for live. I might put one on like my dad or something. I want to do. Oh, that'd be a good one. Your dad would end up killing the guy. My dad. Your dad. The guy would be taking a picture and then all of a sudden he goes. He's like, he thinks. He has my dad. My dad put up like a prop suit and stuff. It's just like a fake dummy guy over there. And he's like, all right, we got this zoom in a little bit. My dad goes, Hey man, you got directions to the. Yeah. I don't think it's crazy. I hire a private investigator on your partner and I really don't. Not thinking it's crazy. That's your own thing. I'm saying you, there's no way that's like any. There's just, there's no way that buying something, especially with you and money, you're like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. If, if you bought a private investigator, several thousand dollars, I nothing comes out yeah you know something did come out of it i bought a piece of mind i bought a piece of mind it's not it's not crazy it's the same thing as like hey homie will you go drive by her house real quick see if her car's there that's not the same at all yes it is that's someone you trust that's a friend and it's free oh i trust a private investigator you don't know them i trust them though they're good at the job they'll send you a picture of them cracking from behind yeah they go oh yeah she's cheating dog check out the link funny enough somebody's unemployed right now they're like that's not a bad job that's not a bad idea how do you get a certificate be a pi but um you played it speaking of your wife you played a game with her on tic-tac-toe like i'm fine not um you played a game with her on your on y'all's tick-tock that went really viral and i i kind of feel left out well we're the game people let's play it let's play the number game let's play the number game buddy the you should know podcast this episode of the usual podcast is brought to you by booking.com let me tell you guys something about the last time i felt the pool of travel it was circa a couple months ago i was on instagram it's the middle of summer everybody's posted oh i'm in l.a oh i'm in miami oh i'm in new york oh i'm in the mountain springs of colorado didn't want to go there so i didn't feel the pool there but with all these other places i'm like geez just that itch of travel i want to do it and i found an easy way to do it the best way to do it from getting from point a to point b and that is booking.com and the accommodations with booking.com is second to none i mean if i want a specific hotel a vacation home if i want something with a balcony if i want something near water there is nothing like the accommodations at booking.com the whole thing is fast and easy i genuinely love booking.com to get from point a to point b so go on book that trip it's easy booking.com booking dot yeah the you should know podcast all right let's play the number game i got a number on cam's head can't put a number on my head we don't know our numbers and we have to guess based on we have to ask questions to find out our number exactly okay you want to go first okay sure yeah you go first all right um is this could i eat this many meals in one day oh god oh god no okay okay good okay um could i have this many girlfriends within one year no no no no but that could be too less or too many i you know that's a wise thing okay true does it take me this many minutes to explain a simple story yes yes it does oh god yes oh god yes oh yeah might be undershooting it okay okay okay hold on i'm trying to put the other okay okay here we go does would this be too short of a time in minutes to have coitus oh god would okay let me rest would this be a good amount of time in minutes to have coitus definitely depends on depends on the animal we're talking about here it depends on the animal what do you mean it depends on that capybara depends on what is what is the necessity to that to that woman uh for me speaking on in my preference yeah it's good it's like would it be like record-breaking for you oh no no no no it's not record-breaking but that's like a that's an honorable oh this is average wednesday night blue collar job if you know what i'm saying okay so under 60 seconds okay gotcha okay okay for me yeah in your in your i don't want to i don't want to put your dirty laundry out there yeah and that's fine is this an appropriate amount of times i'm going to rephrase yes you can ask anything don't worry about it is this an appropriate amount of times to take someone out on a date before bedding them oh no oh god no oh bed much quicker than this oh i mean astronomically quicker bed much quicker i've given up by that time i've given up i haven't it's not working out if i haven't seen the moose i'm out by that time are you crazy just winked at me okay okay so i'm a lot okay okay i'm higher i'm thinking okay could you eat this many mcchickens yes okay so we're above 100. okay all right now we're back so the question and the big chickens we're on a wide spectrum here okay so i take this long to explain stories you would have given up if you didn't get the cookie after this many dates yeah oh my god you don't understand the number might be blocked that's so awful okay if this if you multiplied this number oh i can't what'd you write on my note i can't especially that those no no no if you multiplied this number i need a calculator but with any number you say multiply what's on my note i would i would need to count there's not a number you could put next to that multiplication and i would know it off top my head okay absolutely time zero oh it's zero yeah yeah i know that one okay zero and one are the only chances i have of getting that one right okay okay is this is this number well i'm thinking it's like in the thousands or something yes is this number an appropriate amount of time to oh no is this number in that's creepy i don't want to ask that is this number an appropriate amount of money to spend on a shopping spree it depends are you asking for us yeah are you buying your wife something oh my god how big is this number you know what i'm saying are you buying your wife something on the shopping spree no let's say it's you and me oh you it's you actually i i know you better than me and we're on a spree not uh sure not a spree couldn't get me out the car for that couldn't get you out of the car no oh so okay so it's nowhere near high okay i think i think i know what vibe okay i think i know where i'm at like okay okay if i hugged your wife this many times in a day would it be appropriate or would be creepy uh knowing y'all's relationship it'd be creepy okay without a relationship without your relationship just like in general would you be like all right bro it's too many times or would you be like oh it's fine i mean i love when when like y'all you are a i forgot you're like holder man kiss her on the neck man i forget you're a dude or dad i just love when my people love each other you dude you're so much of a that even your hotel rooms have that chair like you have the chair in your home and your hotel my we had the same hotel room i didn't have a chair that's so strange i meant to bring that up yeah that's a fact um yes it'd be it'd be a little strange okay it'd be a little strange all right last last one if me and sarah had a conversation for this long in minutes i don't like you and sarah doing anything for that exact increment if you're if you and my girlfriend are doing anything for that increment there's a problem we're having a conversation you and my girls should never see that increment ever oh my god ever okay ever okay okay there we go shouldn't even think about that increment about that number with my girlfriend don't do it don't do not do it it's strange it's weird i don't know what it is i don't know what it is okay all right go if i self-pleasure this many times in a week would you would it be concerning or would it be like oh you're just a young man one you're not that young one you're not that young two um industry average i would say no oh okay to my heart i would say yes all right so i'm above 12. oh no wait you said that that would be concerning oh at least an industry average average no but it was concerning oh yeah concerning i don't really remember what i asked yeah industry average they would say no for that many times in a week okay i would say i have my question i have my i have my guess all right do you want to guess first to me i'll guess first okay my number go based off of break it down go based on i'm going based off so you said the time that you have coitus which immediately locked me into sub five right then i brought in the hug you did that threw me off it's a good one because you would love anything above 10 for your wife get that hunch man feel her up dude she likes when you feel her spine like that when you hug her feel her spine grab her by the neck do it whatever you like i don't care i've never said that i just said she's had a bad day go and give her a hug you're like give her a kiss on the cheek um it's like leave it leave it leave it hold on go do it again do it again and got it um i would say my guess is four four yes reveal the number eight eight times in a week to self-pleasure you creep i said no i said the industry average all these out there they'd be like dude that's like barely over once a day you would want me to hug your wife eight times in one day i said no to that you said yes no i said no okay kim you're not lasting eight minutes i said this is a superpower if you were to go eight minutes wait eight minutes like like just like insertion yes yeah no i got soaked myself a bit high on that okay okay that was okay that was a solid guess though yeah now for me um i i i should not eat this many meals in a day no you shouldn't but you probably i should not eat this many meals in a day i should never think of me and sarah in any regard of that number if that number's in your in your head don't think about my girlfriend and okay and then what was uh there was some A time one. Would I ask a time one? I said, does it take me this many seconds or minutes to tell a story? Okay, so that right there, I'm thinking I'm in the increment with the girlfriend with Sarah got me. I'm thinking I'm double digits, something. Oh, yeah, you are. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you are. Is it like a white joke? Yeah, and I don't know how to multiply. Like I'm Larry Bird? No, and I don't know how to multiply this number with anything. I don't know how. It's complicated. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Is there anything to do with me and Sarah at this increment? Yes. You sick. Is it 69? It is. It sure is. You're kind of right. It is. I sure was. I was like, you don't even like me talking to Sarah? I said, we've hung out with Sarah a lot. He said, no, no, nothing of that number in my girlfriend should ever be in your head. Yeah, don't bring up my girlfriend. You can do one more. We can do one more. Can we do one more? Okay. This episode is brought to you by us, the You Should Know Podcast and our Patreon. If you want more access to the You Should Know Podcast and one episode a week is not getting it done, join one of the three tiers over on patreon.com slash you should know podcast. Kim, tell them what they can get. Oh, you get all sorts of things over at the Koala Club every single week. Every Monday, you get a 10-minute talk. Oh, that's whenever you get a little deep dive into more serious conversations every single Monday, only for 10 minutes. Good morning to you. Every single Wednesday, you get a Patreon. That's another full-length episode, but not just with me and Kim. It's with the whole YSK crew and interchanging guests, and that is every single Wednesday. And every single month, depending on your tier, you get one of our other existing shows. That could be Dr. P. I'm not going to lie. That's my personal favorite. That is my absolute diehard favorite. Our Conspiracy Theory Show. 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Pick one of the three tiers so you can get whatever kind of content you like. Click the link in the description or just go to patreon.com slash you should know podcast. We'll see you over on the Patreon. Bye, Koalas. The number game, round two. Here we go. Let's play. Okay, I'm going to go first. Okay. Off rip. Mm-hmm. Johnson, this long? Good thing or bad thing? Kim, you would throw a parade if you woke up with that. If you woke up and looked down and your meat was that, oh, Kim, you'd probably cry. Okay, okay. I'm immediately thinking at least five. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It could be anything past two. You're like, dude, it's a good day. Oh, God, I'm crying. Okay. All right. If I got this many drinks at a bar. Would that be normal for me, or would you have to take me out? Wow. I mean, you're like, you're, I mean, wow, that's crazy accurate. I would say. Come on, you know me. Come on. God almighty. I would say that is very close. Like, you're on that line. Yeah. I think you are well, you're goodly drunk. Yeah. But you're a good drunk. Yeah. I'm not having to carry you out. Okay, so I'm at least above 11. But you're, hey, that's, you're, it's. I'm above 11, for sure. Okay. Okay, your turn. Okay. Back in your heyday. Oh, God. God bless Sarah. Back in your heyday, this many women just, like, almost like roster. I hate to say that, but this many potential candidates at one time, more or less. What does that mean? Say it in a better way. I don't know what potential candidates at one time mean. Like, did you have this many girls in your roster? Like, did you have this many girls in your roster at one time? What's that? At a certain point in my life? Like, you're snapping these girls. Like, talking to them all at one time? You're talking to them all at one time? Flirty, like. Oh, God, that's a good one. No, I think that's, I think it's a little too high. This is too high. I flirted with it, for sure. I mean, I've definitely touched that barrier. I've gotten close. It was dark times, man. But, uh, ooh. Okay. Yeah, I was trying to fill a hole. Oh, golly. Literally and figuratively. I mean, it was bad. Um, here we go. That was a dark time. Okay, your turn. If I. You always go, if I. If I had. If I came to you and told you I wanted this many kids, would you be happy for me or scared for me? I'd call the fucking psychiatrist. I'd say, something's wrong with my friend. I'd go, my friend has absolutely lost his mind. Someone has drugged him. You need to arrest Sarah. You need to get everyone that's. You need to go through his phone. Okay, that could be. Okay, but no. That doesn't mean I could be above two. No, that's very true, but. No. Okay, hard no on that. Oh, fuck. I mean, the hardest of all those. Could you have this many kids? Fuck no. Oh, my God. Oh, no. No, no. No, no. Should anybody have this many kids? No, no, no. No. No. No, no. Uh-uh. Okay. Okay. From your experience. Right. a long distance, like, fling or something, this many FaceTime calls in one day. Too many, not enough. Oh, in my heyday? Yeah. I can get that done before noon. Okay. I'm feeling. I love a good FaceTime. Let me see a nipple. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Just let it bark at me one time. Give me a little howl. Oh, God. Well, I'm a FaceTime. You just ask me what you're doing and hang up. Oh, yeah. Be like, hey, how's it going? Let me see it. Oh, have a great shift. Show me that aerial. Okay. Okay. Would it be. I'm feeling decent. Would it be bad to hook up with somebody within this amount of days? Of what? Knowing they exist on Earth? Yeah, knowing they exist. Would it be weird? Last caveat, like. Is it you? No. No, no. No, last caveat is like. Like, from finding. From seeing them. From meeting. Did you talk? Yes. Well, I'm just saying, from meeting them to this day, is it normal? God dang, you're so close. You're. Accurate. I would say. That's what she said. I would say no. It's not. It's not uncommon. For you, though. For me. Would it be like. No. You wouldn't do it? That'd be no. Oh. Okay. All right. So I got. Let's do two more each. Okay, so I got the. I got the. You've been close with the roster, but not fully. What's the one I just said? I forgot. I just asked. You know, I don't remember. Okay, perfect. I'm gonna take you. If I had this many shots. Mm-hmm. This many shots. In a club. Am I tore up whenever we leave? Or am I just like a decent level of drunk? You're gonna have a strange man unbuttoning your shirt in the front of the club. I go, Oh my God, it's 11! And I'm just gonna. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay, I'm. I'm high levels of confident. Okay. I'm like in a perfect little mix. And I said that because he had this many shots one time and a strange man started unbuttoning his shirt outside of a club and he allowed it. He was a complete stranger. And I was really like, Hey, whatever Cam's into. Okay. If I had this many partners, if I hooked up with this many people within two months, would you be concerned? Would you be like, Oh, it's fine. I personally, right? I love you to death. Personally. I'd be like, Wait, let's sit down and talk. Oh, let me ask you a different question. Sit down and talk. Let me ask you a different question. Okay. If Peyton Harden hit this many threes in a game, would you be concerned? Would you be concerned? What would your reaction be? Holy. That is, that is astronomical. That is, that is a, that's a godsend. That is, that can't happen. I just witnessed a miracle in real life. I witnessed a miracle. Go get a lottery ticket. Go get a lottery ticket tonight. If I had this many points in a DreamCon charity basketball game, what would your reaction be? Holy. He decided to play. Oh my God, dude, that's my ex-collegiate teammate. He's playing today. 100%. There we go. Okay. All right. I have my guess. I have mine. I have mine. I'm going to go first. I'm going to go first this time. Okay. So you said the roster, right? Yeah. I know, I know my boy. I know my bubba. The roster had me thinking high singles, low doubles. Okay. Somewhere in there. High single digit, low double digit. That's about where I'm at too. The drinks, there are, sorry, sorry, sorry, that was yours. The, the inches when you wake up. The inches. If I woke up with it, I'd throw a parade. High, high single or double. High, high single, Cam? You'd wake up with a parade with a high, high single? If I woke up with a nine, if I woke up with a nine inch pecker. No wonder you're my friend. You're just like, I like to be around it. I'll never know what it's like, but I want to be around it. That's why whenever you saw it, you freaked out. You're like, it is possible. I thought it was just in the movies. I go, what the fuck is that thing? I go, oh my God, there's a snake on you. Okay. But it's the same, You know what I'm saying? i'm saying yeah sure small double sure and then the facetime calls i know i know how aggressive you are with facetime calls when it's a distance yeah so i'm thinking final final number i want to lock it in at 13 it's so funny you guessed 11 you guessed 13 split the difference you're kidding it was so close you're kidding so close so close 12 okay so now i'm thinking i'm really hung up on the shots here i'm going to the amount of shots i would take now i was initially going to guess nine but that's i could survive off nine but to you that you think that's crazy you could you could easily do but then i'm bringing into the this many three pointers anything above two you'd be like wow that's great but then i brought in the points i'm thinking low double digits okay you 13 13 is your guess 13 is my guess hold on hold on so this is absolutely insane yeah i guessed 11 and i guessed 13 it was split the difference 12 yeah you guessed 13 look at your number ah we're brothers from a different mother that's sick time out a 12 incher i'm not far i stop that i'm not you'll see i've shrunk i've only shrunk hey that's 12 oh yeah no i'm not like yeah but in the grand scheme of things if you whip that out i'm not i'm no longer your friend i can't be you know like when we associate with like me when we stand next like we're six seven we stand next to a six four guy we're like oh you're close it's the same thing i'm six four in this predicament you know what i mean i'm like 5 11 i'm just kidding holy appreciate you coming back to another oh my god i was thank you for coming back to episode two or third at one confuse the casuals get your good karma leave the secret code the hidden message on every single platform mother it's a s a s y s australia see you soon australia see you soon tickets available in the description below we love you remember crazy for that oh oh oh oh when i take orders i'll make it home to christmas we'll see you next time see you on the patrioto patrioto no yeah i promise i'm not close to 12 can't be can i see can't be can not be nope see you