Guess the Lines Week 1, Plus Favorite NFL Futures With Cousin Sal

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Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat, Connecticut. We're back, baby. Year 20. Guess the lines. I'm Bill Simmons. That's Cousin Sal. Yeah. Just want to mention four podcasts for me this week. We got Sunday night right now, live on Netflix. I'm going to do something Tuesday morning and then Wednesday night, Thursday night, I'm going to be live after both games. So a big four spot. And then you're going to be on the Ringer gambling show now called Ringer Wise Guys. We'll be live on Twitch. We have a whole plan for the big Friday weekend show. The games are starting. Do you like this Wednesday, Thursday thing? Three days. I kind of do. I like it. It's in three days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we waited long enough. Eight months of soccer and horseshit basketball. No offense. World Cup. We're good. We're good. Yeah, man. Three days. Very excited. And this is an emergency podcast because Roger Goodell got extended, right? That's what this is? Right. He got extended over Christian Gonzalez. I have no idea if I'm going to have my cornerback for the Seattle game. So, and then we have our fantasy draft on. On Tuesday, too. So, we got that. We got games Wednesday night, game Thursday night. All kinds of stuff to talk about. We have an action-packed plan for this, by the way. We're going to do Guest Alliance first. And then afterwards, we're going to have our annual futures draft, which we usually do closer to the AFC, NFC thing. But the season, I can't remember it ever starting this late. I know there are reasons for that with the calendar. But we're going to do Guest Alliance first. Yeah, shame on the powers that be. Don't ever start it this late again. Like, we're ready. We're ready in July. All our research is done. I really felt ready this week. Like, I was ready to get going. But I know with the Labor Day, I was watching college football. I watched college football all day yesterday. UCLA 1-0. Dramatic. Pulled away from Cal in the second half. Fat Cal, that was fun. The Michigan game. Before we do Guest Alliance, what was your take on the Michigan game? And did you lose money? No, I didn't lose money. But I just, you know, my take is, okay, a couple things. One, Hail Mary should never be completed. Like, it should be like 1-100, not 1-10. So, play some F in defense. That's my big takeaway. Secondly, can we get the stadium clock with the official clock to sync up? Like, you and I, if we put our iPhones on a desk, it's going to go to 8 o'clock at the exact same time. Even though if you're AT&T and I'm Verizon, or you got your phone wherever and I got my. Why can't we get that to sync up? And then all this nonsense goes away. And Michigan's not that good, is the other thing. That's your takeaway, right? Like, Western Michigan really took it to them. Because that's one of the tough games on UCLA's schedule, is they have to go to Michigan. And then after you watched that yesterday, it's like, ah, they're feeling less scared of that one. Oh, Michigan people going crazy. Yeah, we did it. Take that. Screw you. And the ones I was like, hey, you have six losses on your schedule, A. And B, you really lost that game because you stormed the field after beating Western F in Michigan. Right. That's a loss. Sorry. I also felt like we watch a lot of these. That was one of the only times I've seen them be like, oh, no, actually, there's a split second left. One more play. Usually when that's anywhere near zero, the game's over. Everybody walks on the field, all that stuff. All right. We're doing Guest Alliance first. So background, if you've never watched this before, because we are doing this on Netflix this year. We guest alliance. We send them to each other. Neither of them look. I try to be surprised. You look after I send the lines. And we have done this now for 20 years. And it started back when we were working together at Jimmy Kimmel Live. You were doing it on your own with, we would sit in an office. We had desks right next to each other. And you would get a USA Today ad on a Monday. USA Today. USA Today. That's a newspaper. Yeah, explain to people what that is. That's a newspaper. So USA Today was a newspaper that back in the day, people would read a newspaper instead of going online. And you would read the lines and I would guess and we would go back. And then when I stopped working at Jimmy Kimmel Live, you just started calling me on Sunday night. We started doing it. And then we started doing it once I had a podcast. This is year 20. It's an actual anniversary. It's beautiful. I'm really excited. There's a lot of pride involved, even though we really, anyone could cheat at any time because every line is available from now until January. So, but we really do our best. I don't know. We avoid like seven months worth of people cheating on our behalf. Yeah, I mean, people don't believe us. Like we're on gambling threads where, you know, somebody will bring up some and we'll just be like, hey, hey, hey, get that off here. Right, right, right. Like we really want to wait. I did see the Pat Seattle line early. It was mistakenly. It was on a Pat. Thing. Okay. So I had told you that ahead of time. So we're just going to call that a draw. I have not seen any of the other lines until this weekend after I sent you my picks because, you know, I wanted to start thinking about them. And so I looked at some of them for teaser potentials, but I'm going to pretend to be surprised for most of these. And year 20, I think I'm 15, three and one or something over the 19 years. You've lost. I don't know. Probably something like that. Who won last year? I don't remember. Isn't that bad? Like we don't even have any stakes, anything. I'm talking about all this pride and I can't remember. We may have even tied. I think you won. No, you won. I think I won. It's like, it's like in wrestling when we just have these title matches, but it just ends up being a count out like they would do in the seventies and eighties. It's like, cause it's how it's been counted out. I keep beating you by count out. I can't take the strap off. You can't take it. A couple of things for week one, just to remember, and we'll talk about this all week on our shows, but the week one divisional home underdogs, usually want to grab those and we'll see if we have any coming up. Just in general, underdogs over basically a touchdown or more pretty favorable. I don't want to read all the percentages and records cause nobody wants that, but it's just two things to keep in mind. It feels like every year, two or three of those, two or three of those get you. And in general, the underdogs, it's a little shaded. It's like, what is it like 55%? A little bit. Something like that. And it's a bummer too. Cause the seven plus point underdogs are the teams we hated when we did the, over under win totals, right? Like, I don't like the Browns. Why don't I'm not taking the car? No, you know, and then, but yeah, no, they do cover. They'll necessarily win. And the big thing we're going to be looking, whoa, a bunch of things. First of all, there's some great matchups. Yeah, but there's also, we, we, we bookmarked this last year, the game that ends up meaning the exact opposite of what it seemed like after week one. And last year was Raiders Pats. The Raiders won in new England. And it just, it just seemed like, oh, the peak arrow. Oh my God. And then, oh, the Pats, same old Pats. Maybe it wasn't Mayo's fault. And then by week 10, it seemed like the most ridiculous result of the season. So we're going to try to figure that out as we guess the lines first. I had a couple of mailbag questions really quick before we go. And I, this is a really important one. Barkley brought this up on my podcast from Kyle Rector. Is Jerry Jones still with us? How many years has he owned the Cowboys and we haven't heard a peep? And, so Barkley's theory is he actually likes his team this year and he's scaled back. You're talking about Saquon, right? Charles Barkley. Okay. All right. Jones is like, I actually like what we did. I'm not going to be a problem this year. Have we heard from him? You follow the Cowboys much more closely than I do. Has he had a press conference? Where is he? What's happening with him? He's not doing as many. He would do these weekly interviews on the local Dallas stations, not really doing those. Parlay that with the fact that, you know, last August, I think it was really right, right about this time of year. We're in September, but he, yeah, he went behind Micah Parsons agents back and tried to talk, right? Then he went to the mother or the family. Like it was, it was always about, I think you're right. And whichever Barkley you're talking about, I think he's right too. Well, the thing is, we always used to have a joke in mid August that Jerry just would make a decision. Like I'm going to lead first take for three straight days. So I'm going to do something. I'm either going to decide I'm not giving me an extension to somebody I'm obviously giving an extension to, or I'm going to get into it with somebody. He just didn't do it this year. Kyle Rector actually said, someone get Pablo Torres to get to the bottom of this. That was funny. He added it as Pablo Torre, big week for him. But Pablo Torre, that could be a good podcast. If, if Jerry, we don't hear from Jerry by week four, I almost feel like that's an emergency episode of Pablo's pod. Where did this guy go? I like that. Listen, whatever takes Pablo, attention away from the two of us, I think, is a good thing. That'd be great. Pablo, I mean, this Clippers thing, I still can't believe it. Not only was Pablo right, but on top of it, the Clippers, I can't even tell you the text threads I'm on. I talked about it a little in my pod on Thursday, but the fans are outraged. Everyone's like, get us out of this. It's like being at a restaurant where they tell you you had a reservation for 7.30 and they're like, sorry, we're not going to be able to see you at 8.30. And you're just like, just give me my car. I want out. Get me out of this. That's every Clipper fan. Pablo should be the interim owner, I think, of the team. I think that should be his prize for cracking this story. That's a good idea. Making the front office guy, him and Sammy Koppelman, I would go for that. It's so funny. You and I in-house were talking about Deshaun Watson has any player in the four major sports crippled their franchise for as long as Deshaun Watson has. That contract, that trade, whatever it is. The Browns suck anyway. They would probably screw it up. Yeah, and now they're 1-2. You can pick whoever wants 1. The only other mailbag I just want to throw at you because I was like when people call us out together. Leo from Pembroke, Mass called us the nickname czars. And he said, I'm going to throw a literal dart against the Simmons and Sal nickname board and see if it sticks. Jackson Dart, as we know, is a reckless idiot daredevil, much like Evel Knievel. But he might be, as the kids say, and Sal might say, Ed, I give you mid-Evel Knievel. Oh, nice. It says the Jackson Dart nickname. Mid-Evel Knievel. It's a thinker. Can I, can we do it? What's this guy's name? You can workshop it. It's Leo from Pembroke, Mass. You can workshop it if you want. I don't want to do anything. Right away? Yeah. Yes, because we play the Giants in six days, in seven days. So I'm going to go mid-Evel Knievel. It throws for four touchdowns. Good point. All right. Guess the lines. We make guesses. Whoever comes closest wins. Year 20. Wednesday night. Seahawks, Patriots. It is in Seattle. The Super Bowl champs are 8-4-3 against the spread in the kickoff game. I have no idea if my starting all-pro quarterback is going to be playing in this game. It's just the weirdest thing I've ever watched. Like, Witherspoon got this giant extension. I think he has the same agent as Gonzalez. It's an argument who's better, Witherspoon or Gonzalez. You can make a case either way. But they're both young. Same draft. Equally, really, really, really good elite cornerbacks. Seattle immediately paid their guy. New England has not paid their guy, and I have no idea if he's going to play. With all that said, Sal, I'm going to. We tied on this already, but it's Seattle 3-1-1. I would have guessed if I hadn't seen the line, probably a whiff higher. I probably would have said 4. Did you think 3-1-1? I think I would have said 4, too. It's weird. It's exactly the same as the Super Bowl or at least what it opened at. Yeah, why couldn't people go eight months without sending you the line? Isn't anything sacred? I saw it on Patriots Twitter. I saw one of the guys I followed talked about it. I just couldn't avoid it because he did the thing you just did about it's the exact same line as the Super Bowl. Yeah, right, right, right. So I try to get amnesia if I see any number, but I couldn't avoid it on that one. I almost forget. Yeah, that's a tough one to forget, but I almost forget immediately. Did you say 8-4-1? I wrote that the defending champ is 17-4 as a designated home team in the last 21. I guess that's before they started doing this Thursday game. Yeah, I had the kickoff game. I think that's a little different then because sometimes they would have this on a Sunday. I'm pumped for this one. I will say this. I think the Pats are a live dog in this one. I'm not saying this as a Pats fan, Bill. Seattle has some secondary stuff going on. They have. Charbonnet's not going to be there yet. They're basically riding this rookie running back, and the Pats have eight months to think about this game and revenge. I don't know. I just love the Seahawks. I like their overs. We talked about it. We're going to talk about them more in the futures thing, but I like catching them here instead of week 12, I guess would be my point. I like getting them week one. You know what I mean? Yeah. They don't have their stuff settled. They thought the safety they took in the second round was going to actually really play for them. He's out for the year. He broke his ankle. I think the cornerback stuff's a little shaky with them, so it's a nice spot for the Pats. Devil's advocate. Devil's advocate. Drake, maybe because there isn't as much time in between the Super Bowl and game one. He's going to be a little scared again when he sees that defense. He's going to do that thing where he drops the ball as soon as he gets it. I feel like you just root against Drake May now. That was so much fun. I never rooted against any of your quarterbacks. You should try it. It's fun. Thursday night, the Rams are playing the 49ers, and it's in Australia, and both teams have done different travel plans for this. You guys talked about it a little on Ringer Wiseguys on Friday. This has become the most fascinating strategy thing. I can't believe how different the two things is. It's one game, whoever wins, that will just now become the strategy for the rest of mankind. The Rams have decided to fly in 24 hours before the game and then just get the fuck out right after. And the 49ers are going to get there. They're going to try to acclimate. I've asked around. I don't know if you've asked around, but anyone I know who's done this flight thinks this is insane by the Rams, like actually abjectly insane. What's your take? My take is I want to write down every week the big three narratives of the week, and if you bet accordingly, how do you do? I bet you don't do as well. And this narrative is, like you said, the Rams are getting here too late. It's a little bit of an arrogant move by the Rams. And for the 49ers, it was easy. I'll tell you, let's fly as far away from that cancer box as early as we can on the practice field. But yeah, I think you need that flight. This is not like a three-hour flight. This is from Philly to Miami or something. This is going to. I mean, you're going to want to stare at the toilet moving backwards for three days. Three days before you want to practice. There's a lot of good stuff to look at. What's the furthest you've flown? Probably Hawaii. Is it Hawaii? No, we. Oh, no, Europe. You've gone to Europe. What was that, 11 hours? That's right. Yep. I just don't. 24 hours and I can't really sleep on planes to begin with, and I feel like I would lose my mind. I heard Palacero was talking about this on the Ringer NFL show because he's got to go. He's going for Netflix. Yep. And. It was an interesting watching strategy for this where some people think don't watch movies because movies have this start and finish and the movie ends. You're like, oh, my God, I still have 20 hours. Watch TV shows. It's more addictive, so watch a show where you have to be like, oh, I got to finish and try to just go on an eight-episode binge. My point is this is. It's so long. You have to think about shit like this. I don't understand. I think it's so arrogant by them to do this. The other thing is the 49ers were smart about it because a lot of those guys, they're banged up every preseason, right? They have 10 guys going in who are questionable, and they're probably like, hey, we got to get them. If we could leave in June, let's do that because who knows if they're going to survive this flight. 49ers wanted to get away from their practice field. They left in July. We may have to get our practice squad guys in there because I don't know if anyone's going to make it to the finish line. They might actually become normal human beings again after a week away from the electromagnetic. I can barely speak. I mean, it's just like, you know, I wouldn't have taken this as the Rams home game. The Rams forfeited this game as a home game, right? And now it's even less of a home game because they're getting that late. They're giving themselves every disadvantage they can. You guys had a really good conversation about this on Friday or whatever, Thursday, when you did the NFC West and Ringer Wise guys. And we talked about it too last week. I always get a little nervous with the super teams thing. The line is super high. And we'll probably. I know I have one in our futures draft. This feels like a nice time to catch them too at the start of the year with all the hype. Anyway, I did Rams minus four for my guess. What'd you have? We split this. I said three and it's three and a half. See how that works? Right in the middle. You agree with that? I'm trying to think if they had. Do you think the Australian thing messed it up at all? If they had an actual home game, is it four and a half, five? If it's in LA? Yeah. Four and a half? Yeah, five. It's in the Vegas zone. Yeah, they may have screwed themselves here. This is the healthiest the 49ers will be all year. So if you had to bet an underdog between Pats plus three and a half and Niners plus three and a half, you don't have to tell us until Friday, but where are you? Are you leaning or do either of those look tasty? Just say one. You don't have to say the two. I would say San Francisco, but I really want to monitor this narrative, this popular narrative thing and see. This is a top three. Would you agree this is a top three narrative? The Rams getting there late? We should keep track of the other two. Anytime a narrative can cause me to have a conversation with my wife, I feel like that's a huge win for the NFL. I was like, what do you think of this? The Niners left six days before the games. The Rams are just saying, fuck it, going right in. Which team would you bet on just knowing that? She's like, that's crazy. The first day you're there, your head's spinning. You're trying. I was just in Boston for five days. I woke up at six o'clock today. I didn't know where I was. I was only gone five days and it was in the same country. You should tell her like, honey, I took your advice. We bet $600,000 on the 49ers. Tell her Friday morning. See what she says. Win or lose. Well, these two games are great. We're two for two. And then the Sunday marquee game, which I have as the Texans and the Bills, in Houston. And I think. Look, we have two different games. We have the What the Fuck Just Happened game, which we covered with Raiders-Pats last year. We'll come up with some candidates for that. Texans-Bills in Houston has all the makings of the overreaction game. Whoever wins this game, it's going to be Sunday night, Monday, Tuesday. This is it. The AFC runs through them, and it doesn't matter which one wins. The AFC is going to run through one of them. And the other way, well, the loser is in a little bit of trouble here. Look at their schedule. We're going over the loser's schedule. No question about it, Sunday night, right? Yeah, because if the Texans lose, the C.J. Stroud conversations start that night, right? Right, right, right. When we're doing Guest Aligns on Sunday night, C.J. Stroud will be involved five minutes. The Bills lose. Then you can zag with, eh, McDermott, he was the fall guy, but their defense looked worse, and D.J. Moore didn't help him. Josh Allen can only do so much. Yeah, I can hear it. Let's just do that podcast now, and then we'll do Guest Aligns. Oh, 12 narratives. Yeah. I had Texans minus one and a half at home. Yeah, so this is our first tic-tac. I had Buffalo minus one and a half, and I'm right. Now, it could tic-tac over to your direction, but right now. Wait a second. The Texans, a Super Bowl favorite. Yes. In some respects, the team that I would certainly, coming out of the AFC, the AFC favorite, I guess. A team that I think will be in the Super Bowl against Seattle. Okay. Is not even a home favorite against the Bills, who lost to, who'd they lose to in the playoffs? Denver, right? Denver. Yeah. Very last minute. Yeah. Do you think Houston's going to be in the Super Bowl? They have to make it one and a half. So, if this game was in Buffalo, it would be Buffalo by three? Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. Well, I don't agree with this at all, Sal. This is the only week I'm kind of not going to be five points off on a spread, because I sort of know, I don't have a model, but the power rankings are kind of right there in terms of over-under wins, right? And I think it's a little bit of a break for Buffalo getting this defense before they get in a rhythm. I know you could say the same about an offense, but this is when they'll play Houston on the turf in September. I think the same kind of thing. That's when I would sign up for that. I thought defenses were better coming out of the gate than offenses. Am I just misremembering that? I don't know if it'll be shut down just, you know, two scores a game like this early on. That's a great question. That's a great game. I have two watchables. I think this is also a really good game, just from a, I don't know what's going to happen with either of these teams. Real quick, you're going Texans teaser. No question. Putting that north of seven. If it stays, if it remains one and a half. So we changed the rules for Ringer 107 this year. Wait, is everyone sitting down? You like the rules, right? I like them. Yeah. Oh, I guess we can announce this right now. This is huge. We talked FanDuel, our friends, into, giving us a very special price on teasers this year. Yeah. And I think it's going to be for bets up to $50. We are bringing back the teaser. This is a huge passion point of us. We used to love teasers. Basically, everybody changed the juice on them. And it's a little like what happened in Blackjack, where all of a sudden, we weren't getting the same price when you get a Blackjack. Can't find any three to two tables. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened to three to two? We grew up on three to two. Now you're going to be six to five. So we asked FanDuel, and we talked, and we talked to them, and we lobbied them, and we convinced them to let us bring back teasers this year. So the juice is going to be minus 110 on any one teaser that you do for the week. You use our little code. We'll announce all that stuff later in the week. So you're suggesting Texans to plus seven and a half, maybe even take the over-under down, put it with another game, and that could be a potential fun one for your first tease. Far be it from you or I to explain, the way to play a teaser. But the experts say that that's the way to do it. If you take the plus six with a plus one and a half, if you adjust it six points, you're crossing the three, you're crossing the four, you're crossing the six, you're crossing the seven, and you like Houston to win this game anyway. So that would be the way. And people say, you and I said like, you're like FanDuel has it at minus 110. Big deal there. Everybody else has these at minus 139, minus 140. Right. It's good. That's good. One thing with the teaser, the funniest thing with the teasers, like twice a year, House and I tease somebody through the zero. And Raheem reacts like we threw a Molotov cocktail in his apartment. It's the most, nothing upsets Raheem Palmer more than cross. So basically if you had like Texans were minus two and a half, and I tease them the plus three and a half, that's a good way to basically Molotov cocktail Raheem. He can't recover from that for a half hour. It's the one thing you can't do. You can't tease through the zero ever. Oh man, you're losing a point. You're losing a point. It's just gone. It's a five point. It's not a six point. I'll do it again this year. Not going to apologize either. Uh, the other rewatchables game we have or watchables game. It's in Indianapolis. Our first, our, I guess our second home underdog. I'm guessing it's Ravens at Indianapolis. And I think the Ravens are going to be favored. And I have the Ravens favored by two and a half. Let me find this. Um, I don't know. All right. I had four. I thought the Ravens by four and it's three and a half. So I get this by a half a point. Three and a half. Yep. Oh, I've skipped. I somehow I'm so out of practice. I skipped the other one. Sorry. We'll do that one first. Yeah. Uh, Baltimore three and a half Indianapolis, a team that I think a lot of people are pretty lukewarm on. Everyone wants to see Daniel Jones. Everyone's excited about the Ravens. Everybody already has them penciled in for six and one start seven. I have multiple Ravens bets. Um, God, I hate the hook. I hate that. This is a three and a half. Um, this makes me nervous. This feels like a classic. I don't know. I don't like it. So don't you feel like just whether you like it or not, if it's a team you like, if it's team you picked last week to go way over the total or over the total versus a team you pick to go under, just go with what you have right for week one. Like if you have to, if you have to look stupid, then it's on you for wasting research for three months. That that's kind of what I'm doing here. But that was my column. I wrote a mid two thousands. I wrote the symbiotics column and it was basically like you have the whole off season to figure out who you like and you got to stick to your guns the first two, three weeks. So, um, it's the only time we're going to be right. And I feel like Daniel Jones, this is another narrative, right? Either he gets buried by the media or praised as the next Sam Donald. I feel like there's no in between. Right. I will probably, uh, my guess is I would probably take the Ravens money line and put that with something. Cause the hook scares me. Tease it through zero. Were you up or down on the Colts? I can't remember. No, I'm down under, right? Yeah. One of my true wonders. Yeah. Okay. Uh, the other watchable is an awesome game. Bengals bucks, fantasy guys all over the place in this game. It's in Cincinnati. The Bengals just continue to be the sexiest off season team. Everybody's just all in. People love them. And, uh, everybody loves, the bucks at the ringer too. I heard your NFC South pod. You and I talked about it. You were, you had the NFC South when we did over unders, everybody going seven and 10. I made an impassioned case. Why I thought Tampa was great value. Even if you look this weekend, Tampa over eight and a half. So just to go nine and eight in a shady division, it was still pretty good odds. I think it was like plus one, 10 just for them to win nine games. I'm in on Tampa. I was psyched when the bundle was also in, on them. Cause I was waiting for him to make some long impassioned case why they were fool's gold, but I'm like him. I, I like the front seven. I think they're going to score. I think Baker was hurt last year. I'm not scared of the bowls thing yet. They usually start out fast and then fade as the year goes along. And, um, I don't know. I just liked this spot for them. So I went Bengals minus three was my pick. All right. Bengals minus three. Now I lost this. I said Bengals minus three. It's three and a half. So we split it. So God, I haven't hit one yet. I don't know, man. I just, I'm really going to, when you tell me like, Oh, I made all these NFC South bets futures. I'm like, you get so upset. I like, don't tell me. It's like, you're telling me like you're cheating on your wife. I'm like, don't even, I don't want, don't tell me. I don't want to hear it. It's I'm going to do bad things with that information. I like that. You compare betting on the NFC South adultery. It's worse. It's probably like some kind of second degree. Somebody's got to win the NFC South. I know they just, they hurt my feelings so much. The box, they were better than every team last year. I know, but they had a ton of injuries. I know. And the bundle made a good point about how bad their defense was. So there were basically 28th EPA, the last six, seven games. I can't defend that. I think my zag on that division is it's been so bad and so erratic and so stupid for so many years. It's got to come around. And it's not scared everyone off from even looking at it logically. And I just think if you look at it logically, they easily, have the most talent. Like it's not even close and they have like their, their draft. They're way better Baker being healthy. I think really matters. I like some of their skill guys. I just, I, to me, they're a live dog in that game. And the team they're playing is similar to what you're saying, right? A lot of talent up and down the roster for Cincinnati, at least offensively. You know, I know Zach Taylor always wants to fast forward to week four because he'd go one and two. Oh, I got some, I got some funny Bengals fan emails that were upset that I was so, down on their offensive line. what the quarterback is uh eating like it's not good but it's not bad you're wrong our offensive line if you look at stat a stat b stat c um even brandon thorn who's who uh who is the guy i get most of my offensive line opinions from because he's the best at this he studies it go check out his sub stack if you love offensive line stuff he dm me and was like they're not that bad like they're not like they were a couple years ago he wasn't saying they were good but he was like they're they're not that bad saxon pressure rate like how deep do i have to look into this i don't know they had they do have a couple above average guys on the line um i don't know it's are they as bad as washington no are they as bad as their first four of the five draft picks defensively they were awful too right they scored like 27 like 33 two games in a row in law 37 two games in a row lost both games so they between the offensive line and defense that's what i worry about a little because they loaded up on defense but i'm still trying to figure out though yeah the whole thing where we made the defense better because this will make it easier for joe burrow right okay so your defense is going to get off the field more often so that means joe burrow's on the field more often how does that make it easier for him if you're still not blocking for them they're they claim they're going to block for him my memory of the bengals the last couple years is joe burrow just running for his life over and over again and taking huge hits yeah i would love to see the camera on burrow as they drafted defense after defense after defense because he's saying oh this is going to help me this is great you know it helps some some some blockers um anyway we'll see that one bucks is looming as uh my favorite one so with ringer 107 we're going to do four picks i'm doing four picks with house on thursday night you're gonna do four picks on your show ringer fantasy ringer nfl we're all gonna do four Sunday morning because we want to get more info that was our biggest the thing we're all frustrated with last year is locking these picks on thursday and you and house and i would be texting each other on sunday morning like god damn like i really like this team i wish i had them and whatever and so now that's the way we're doing it okay we're gonna take a break we're gonna come back we're gonna finish the guest aligns and we're gonna do the uh futures draft let's do it all this episode is brought to you by michelob ultra it's the small moments where we have the most fun sometimes like having a friendly little competition with your friends see who's the fastest or who can put better in the backyard or who can get to somebody's else's house or the better route whatever it is even better if you put some michelob ultra on the line or a refreshing way to up the stakes like me and house are going to pick games against each other on thursday it's the nfl season maybe we keep track in ways of uh michelob ultra six packs i'm happy to do that maybe michelob ultra will make a special bs podcast or ringer six packs and then we could we could barter them back and forth whatever it is by the way they should do that for us superior is worth playing for michelob ultra superior light beer enter for a chance to win superior soccer basketball and golf prizes at michelob ultra.com slash superior access enjoy responsibly copyright 2026 anheuser-busch michelob ultra light beer st louis missouri so i was telling you during the break about my contact one situation but i have these i have terrible eyesight as you know like really really awful eyesight and my contacts have to be i have to order them in advance it takes them like four or five weeks for them to make my contacts i can't just be like oh i'll get them online like they actually have to like you know i'm like minus 10 um every six months i'm supposed to change them i thought i'd change them in march but it was actually january so i realized this four weeks ago i'm on month nine with these contacts and the new contacts are coming this week and i'm now at the point where i it's like i i can't really read that well anymore i'm like it's like sliced alone sitting next to adrian's bed trying to read it as she's in the coma um it's just like blotchy so anyway that's why i'm squinting and looking because i have four more days my contacts are like about literally about to die in my eyes oh my god yeah it takes a but there's no there's no temporary fix okay oh i guess you have the ones in now right i really need right now i i really need to figure out my thing there's how is how have they not figured out eyesight better at this point like i don't know remember when they were doing the surgery and it was making lasix yeah yeah the lasix but it's i'm not eligible for that because my eyes are so bad but how have they just not figured out any of this anyway that's have you tried pouring a hot water and lemon in your eyes maybe that's what it is i'll work on it all right guess the lines fairly re-watchables detroit is home for the new orleans saints and i think re-watchables like they're gonna make this a movie i can't see i can't see if it's re-watchables or watchables fairly watchables lions saints um i uh movie with goff james and williams i'm probably too low i did lions minus six and a half uh no you're right on i went seven i went the full seven and it's six and a half you got it oh my first one um this is just it's a flashing neon sign saying please tease me please please make us far to your first tease in the ringer 107 lions right down to 0.5 points um i really wanted to like the saints in the off season i know we talked about on the pod and i just i don't really like the stuff they did in the off season uh i thought on on the wise guys pod i think it was raheem talking about how shucks 26 he's like oh young qb finished the year strong it's like well he's gonna be 27 next year so maybe he kind of is who he is but uh i don't know this feels blowouty to me i have written down that this could be i know you like tampa a lot and forget my opinion on the nfc south but this could be a shakies game preview this could be one of our first shakies game previews it's a great day somehow when that dogly bad this uh division all right next fairly watchable bears at carolina i have this pegged as a another home dog i had bears minus two and a half you got it exactly why isn't this four because i don't think people trust the bears i trust the bears i have overs for them they're gonna come up in my future draft later if i can see what i wrote because i'm just getting blotches squiggly lights i'm out of focus you can't read all right i i i don't know i should have done the rock i should have worn my leather leather jacket and my little cap and just tried done the reading to adrian thing you can't see bill i can't see at all the contact's still on here you're gonna kill you you can't see this happened to me 10 years ago for different reasons when my eyesight changed when i turned 45 remember daniel told us that was gonna happen right right right and my eyesight changed i thought i had a brain tumor and it was just my eyes actually were getting better yeah so i went for like a minus 10 and a half to minus 10 but was wearing the stronger contacts and i was why does it take five weeks is your supplier australia with the i don't know takes five weeks for my contacts and one day for the rams to go to australia and play a football game no kidding lions look very tease worthy uh bears panthers do not no i i'm saying bears panthers oh also looks tease worthy if you like the panthers and you can't see them because they're too big and you want to pull them to plus eight and a half this is one of those games where i have a big opinion on one and a lesser opinion on the other and i'm just gonna go with the i'll tell you i'm gonna go with the bears here but i do wonder here's another narrative is this the you know is this one of the team can't stand to play in 103 degree heat game there's always one so glad you brought this up lombardi would talk about this every year yeah carolina tampa miami where's the jackson jacksonville yeah those four you just you have to look at the weather as it gets within three days and if any of those are going to be 80 like 82 83 or above you're gonna have the road team's gonna have problems and we see it and they die in the second half and it's just a thing that happens so it's like yeah the thermometer says 83 but trust me it's 177 degrees on the field right who's the former kid they go to jay feely or that uh that other guy they have and it's like guys it's so hot down here i can't even see yeah and then you're like i bet you're gonna have to go to jay feely or that uh that other guy you're gonna have to go to jay feely or that other guy you're gonna have to go to jay feely or that other guy on the road team his nipples are out yeah that feels bears panthers feels like a stay away to me next one is uh jaguars browns i put this as a fairly watchable only because of deshawn on the road this weird jaguars team this has all the makings of that raiders pats game from last year where everybody puts the jaguars and this looks like a let's be careful to me game i have jaguar seven and a half over the brown yeah you got it i said seven i thought that was enough it's uh it is seven and a half exactly but i'm with you i'm on fire what yeah this is bad now right what do you have i have three in a row yeah it's six to five okay yeah all right but yeah i just um i think this is a must watch deshawn until until we've had enough making fun couldn't agree more i'll put it in the four box in the early slot i didn't tell you this but my daughter has a game on sunday should you be saying this on sunday at 11 a.m pt oh no yeah yeah this is for some reason a thing that's happening so i'm gonna have her game on the big tv i'm gonna have the red zone on another tv and then probably bill's texans and those will be my three wow i can't not put her on the big tv like this is her last season no you have to watch but can't they get you can get them to move it can't you honestly i i'm completely outraged by the emerson coaches on this coach suve and coach collins just an all-time outrage to put this against the week one nfl how many sunday games honestly it feels like a personal attack yeah of course no it's like i think it's the only sunday afternoon game they have and for some reason week one head-to-head against all this stuff so yeah uh i will be by myself i don't want to be near anyone and and i feel like everything's going to be tied together in some way i don't know if there's a way to you parlay her game with any of these games i love it sorry i don't watch this sean throw four interceptions yeah it's all right i took i didn't realize you scored the second half the shot the shot was going for his fifth interception i had to switch it uh jaguars browns jaguars look like stay away all right packers at vikings yeah i think this is gonna be another home dog sal a lot of the vikings i think out of the 32 teams i think have had the widest array of opinions in all the preseason pods i people are like adamant that they love the vikings this year and then other people are like that team's gonna suck they don't have talent i've only heard the former that you know this is oh everybody defense they know what they're doing nobody can name three good guys in their defense but the defense is awesome such a step up yeah yeah you know it's like flores doesn't matter who he has at some point it matters a little bit who he has blitzing schemes are the best like yeah i don't really know how they won those last four games and kyle murray is a step up but he's also we talked about last week by every metric he's not gonna make justin jefferson a uh a superstar again packer's feeling a little nobody believes in us too everybody's kind of kicked them in the curb parsons isn't coming back until midway through the year et cetera et cetera i have packers minus two over the vikings probably too high all right i have to stare at this now because i don't really believe it i had packers by one and a half and it's vikings by one and a half whoa that's in the tic tac i guess because there's a lot of kylo murray buzz i mean he hasn't been a one one point favorite since um and honestly a lot of a lot of i don't love the packers buzz too with no parsons yeah right their defense without a okay we lost a home dog yep this last one i've already made the t's with this team um i put them with uh i put them in a money parlay with ucla last night thanks again to bob chesney um eagles home for washington i feel like this particular matchup has lost everybody significant amount of money over the last 10 years it's true how many times like what what has gone right in an eagles washington game from a betting standpoint for anyone you know including us i can't think of one thing yeah no i'm usually you're right this should be a stay away for sure and it's like a 425 kickoff so that there's always a weird one in there and washington has a real aroma about them and it's not a positive aroma it's it's an odor and the eagles you know they're gonna go 11 and six like they always do and this just seems like a layup why isn't this line gonna be higher than my guess which is eagles minus six at home it's not even that high to get you you get the nod here because it's five and a half and i said four and a half oh yeah i don't know that's an absurd price for the eagles that that's basically bait it's basically everybody's been burned by this game so many times you're getting two free points this line should be seven and a half and you're with the very first trend you read off right the division opponents getting whatever seven seven and a half so they don't they don't make it that high that's also a gigantic narrative that you know the commander's o-line sucks every writer because it does suck sitting in their eulogy yeah against this loaded defense i guess so i think i'm just i'm too into jayden daniels this year i don't even know why would you make stewart's falcons a fairly watchable or a poopfecta or a rewatchable your pick i think it's pretty watchable um it's uh uh i guess fairly watchable because you have to i hate him i'm gonna move it up i'm not putting this on i'm watching zoe over this one well i'll move it up because otherwise we would have had four um poopfectas could do that stewart's falcons i do think this is a fairly watchable because i'm really interested to see how bad the falcons are i think that's a team that over the course of the month everybody has turned on and you could see with the with the lions even you know you know since we talked about it last week i think the juice has moved even further ahead of them on fandle where they have the winning and losing record bets the losing record bet there's actually been action on them they've moved up i think they're like 12 to 1 now for that they used to be like over 20 to 1. um there's mike mccarthy there's some steelers could be a little bit sleepery and the afc is like a 10 or 11 win team i have steelers minus three and a half you're gonna nail this one too i said three they made it uh they made it three and a half four five six seven eight two three four five eight to six for you yeah i don't want to watch this the falcons i read two sixteen and one all time against the steelers and they have no one to rush the quarterback so roger's gonna look good here can i give you some reasons to watch other than gambling sure um who's playing quarterback for the falcons yeah i know you hate that i'm i'm literally asking you who's playing or two yeah do you know who's playing because i don't know who's playing they didn't announce it yeah right so they're panics who's had no training camp or two who should be out of the league and it's gonna be one of those two um with the steelers the front seven that is always great it feels like the first two months and then loses steam as it goes but so why isn't this higher just because you're trying to think of their win totals the steelers are eight and a half right atlanta's down they six and a half what do we have atlanta is basically six and a half now yeah yeah steelers at home atlanta outdoors dome team outdoors right i did already sal is revenge titan's home for the jets i can't say the titans had uh had a lot of buzz coming out of the preseason can't say there's a lot of excitement about this team um jets a whiff of buzz a little bit of buzz um i have the titans as home underdogs in this game i have jets minus one and a half yeah this is your um worst one i think and the one we differ on the most i said okay i said titans by two and it's titans by two and a half so i get this oh okay well we'll see when it usually when i'm off by that many points that means i'm gonna i'm gonna bet well i'm gonna bet on myself on this one i don't think the tight should be favored against anybody whoever wins let's just not do the could they make the playoffs could the let's just not do it i mean uh yeah here's what scares me house said he looked back over the summer he has eight week one wagers on the jets so maybe they should let us bet before september jesus let's slip them a 800 number that game is more fun than raiders dolphins which is in vegas kirk cousins malik willis two teams that have been thrown around the world i think they're going to win i think they're going to win around the uh the number one pick race i have vegas minus two and a half over the dolphins i have vegas minus two and a half as well and it's three and a half by the way we just put a poll on uh poll up about the about the jets titans so because we're we had such a disparity all right all right malik willis kirk cousins we'll see what the netflix people think let me ask you this i don't want to really want to watch any of that game i'm just going to ask you does the u.s open men's finals get a bigger screen than miami las vegas and the simmons household no i don't care about the us open fun oh wow okay i did i did stay up till over two o'clock when i was in boston watching zverev almost blow it in round one which would have been the first time that's happened as a one seed losing in a major it was like in 30 years the announcers are going nuts and i got sucked in and then i was up till three in the morning after that's great gave tennis a compliment saying the night edition of tennis an exciting night game the disparity between an exciting day game is unlike any and any other sport i have a hot take and i think eduardo eduardo needs to get ready to clip this out because i feel really strongly about it i've watched tennis my whole life i play tennis i love tennis serena's done tennis matches are too long oh we've lost the narrative with this these guys are too good the the rallies and the points and these games these matches are four and a half hours routinely now yeah and i just think it's absurd and i've talked about this forever i don't think anything should be four and a half hours like literally anything movies sporting events a dinner anything i don't want to do anything I don't want to do anything for four and a half hours. That's supposed to be entertainment. Yeah. And I just think they really have to rethink this. And all the tennis peers are going to be like, that's crazy. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. I get it. Whoa. But I think they should seriously think about changing the sets from six to five for winning the set. Oh, sick to changing the set. See, I was going to propose. See, I bet tennis all the time because it's on third of the day. Do the four out of seven? Well, they do two out of three sets for men when it's not a major. If you're watching the Cincinnati Open on a Wednesday, it's like, that's two out of three. Women are always two out of three. You would just go to five instead of six? Whatever we have to do to not make this four and a half hours. I just don't think it's that entertaining. And I like tennis. And I'm sure people are like, no, no, this is amazing. You were up to three in the morning watching one. I know. And the whole time I'm like, why the fuck is this four and a half hours? It's absurd. In baseball, when you're, when the baseball games got too long, what did we do? We were like, this is too long. Let's get a pitch clock. We got to fix this. In tennis, it's like, oh, Djokovic is about to have a stroke on the court. This is great. What drama? He's dying. Like, what's fun about this? It's a lot when it's third of the day. Djokovic couldn't even like hit balls back in the fifth set. Yeah. He was just like letting that, letting serves go because he was trying to save his energy for when he served. And it's like, once we get to that point, I just think it's much harder to play than it was. than it was during the McEnroe-Borger era. It just was. It just is. They are flying around for every point. I'll give you that. And that's why maybe the night game is better. That's why you won't have to worry about everyone dropping dead from heat stroke. But you'd have to check the ratings. I feel like a lot of people start tuning in in that fifth set. They'd also tune in if it was five games instead of six. All right. I don't know. I don't care as much. I'm sorry. I forgot. I shouldn't have done this to you when you were in football mode. What do you care? Get me off. What do you mean? You don't care. You bet on all this tennis. I know. I brought it up, but I just, I never really thought about it. Chargers Cardinals in LA. A rare LA football game where they're not going to be deluged by fans from the other team because we don't know that many Arizona Cardinal fans. Won't see a lot of Buda Baker jerseys roaming outside of SoFi. This is also a classic teaser. I have Chargers minus eight. Let me find this. That's a, I had eight and a half. It's nine and a half. I went way high on this. Yeah. Cause they don't want us to tease cause they knew we convinced fans. All right. Those are three poop factors. Sunday night. Cowboys giants at New York. You're going to be favored. You're going to be favored in this game. I have Cowboys minus two and a half. I had Cowboys minus three and I was bummed to see that it was two and a half. Not because you got it because now I have to think about, I mean, this is potentially awesome for you. You get an immediate crack at celebrating my grief minutes after Brandon Aubrey misses a game winning 72 yard field goal at the buzzer. So I think you lay this smack down. Oh, really? I do. I love the Cowboys this year. I know everybody does. I was looking at them for best record in the NFs, like the one seed, all that shit. Yeah. We just have to lose to the Giants. Everybody gets off our case for a minute. And somehow we won nine of them. I'm already a basket case about this matchup. What did the bundle say? 17 of the 26 guys from last year's defense are no longer on the team for Dallas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That should be all. Yeah. You guys are going to be good this year. Yep. And there's a poll up now on Netflix. We'll say I'll be shedding tears next Sunday night. I mean, either way, I think it's yes. I think it was very smart to stay away from medieval Knievel. I don't want any part of that. Yeah. Talk to me next Monday. We'll see you then. So we have Giants as a, as a home dog, Panthers. Wait, did you win? Do I have a chance? 10. I think I won. You're winning 10, nine. We have four home dogs. I think we're, I think we're both going to hit this one. This is the most obvious tic-tac one of all time. Monday night, Kansas City at home for Denver. And I have Chiefs minus one and a half. I swear on my kids. I had Chiefs minus two and it is two and a half. I swear on my kids. See how that works, people. See how unsatisfying that it was. We split. I feel like you cheated. We tie week one. Eight, nine, 10 to one, two, three, 10 to 10, including ties. There you go. Chiefs minus two and a half, huh? What are we missing with the Chiefs here? It's Mahomes nine months after an ACL. Yeah. It's Kelsey three months after he got married. It's a complete overhaul of that. And all these young people, they have a young second, secondary. It's a team that I, I feel like is going to take five, six weeks to be whatever it's going to be. Week one against Sean Payton and the Broncos, a team that felt like they should have made the Superbowl last year. That feels like they're better, even though the schedule is not better. I just don't see how the Chiefs are favored like this. This is feels like a Mahomes read thing. I think Fandles throwing their hands in the air a little bit here. Like the Chiefs would normally be a three point favorite, right? But, um, when people, when people aren't talking about is this is Bo Nix's rehab game too, right? We didn't see him. He got hurt in middle of January. So that's fair. Messed up his leg. So it's like, all right, let's see. I mean, they, they pushed it as late as they could Monday night for Mahomes to rest up. Surprise. I didn't play this Tuesday afternoon in Australia. All right. So we tied. No, I will not be crying. According to our Netflix faithful 67%. Thanks guys. Appreciate that. So they said, that's what they say. They're never wrong. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, NFL Sunday ticket kickoffs coming in with NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV. You get every game every Sunday, all in one place. New users can get NFL Sunday ticket for eight payments of just $30 a month. New users pay $240 or eight, eight non-cancelable payments of $30 a month. First charge of purchase availability varies with NFL Sunday ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local national games. YouTube TV required terms, restrictions, and embargoes apply. Commercial use excluded, no refunds. This episode is brought to you by my old buddy Paramount plus. See you Sunday on Paramount plus you're streaming home for the NFL and CBS all season long. That's right. 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PNC bank brilliantly boring since 1865 brilliantly boring since 1865 as a registered market, the PNC financial services group incorporated PNC bank national association member FDIC futures draft. It's time. Let's go. Come on. I'll give you the first pick since I beat you last year and guess the lines. So that enables you to get the first pick. But what we're going to do in this, I look, I look back, we gave out 34 futures bets each today. We're going to try for a hundred each, but no, but I thought I was like, oh, we did well. We both gave out winners. And then super fan, Chris Haynes reported Simmons ended up up 3.98 units. And Sal was down 11.94 units. So mind your damn business. Oh, you were down last year. Yeah, I guess I was down. I blame the chiefs. So part of the art of this is we want to, we want to, we want to have some winners that are going to be around even plus one, 10 plus one 15, but we want to have some long shots too. And we want to be able to go back and forth and, and have a nice mix of both, but really try to hit like one of the ones I hit last year was Mike Vrabel coach of the year. And that was like, I don't know, 10 to one or 12 to one. Great. Putting one unit on all of these. So you hit one of those and it's worth like 10. So the art of this is some long shots, some staples, um, and go all the way around. You have the first pick. We say one unit, we recommend one unit is $10,000, but it's whatever you guys want. It's $10,000 per unit. Okay. It's how we're going to do this. But yeah, it's snake. I go first and you take two or we just go back and forth. I'm fine. Just going back and forth. It's up. It's up to you though. All right. I'm going to start with my favorite and I can't believe it involves the jets doing something somewhat positive, but it does. Okay. The New York jets to come in third place at even, odds. I think this hits by three or four games on either side. I think the pats and bills are 10 plus. I think the dolphins are four minus. They have not built their team like the jets have their jets are actually trying to win. And believe it or not, I have the jets at six wins. I think this is a lock of all locks, especially if Miami is battling for that first pick in December, late December, give me jets third place plus 100. I had it written down. It's great. It's a good one. It's great. And ironically, my first pick was going to be a variation of that. The Falcons, and by the way, you can find all of these on FanDuel, including the exact order bets for divisions, but also you can bet on the Jets to be third place. I have a parlay, the Falcons and the Dolphins to both be in fourth place, plus 343 on FanDuel, at least yesterday when I did all my work. And by the way, if you want to throw Minnesota in there, which I'm not going to do, plus 1056. Wow. But Falcons-Dolphins is my first pick. I like that. Don't even throw Minnesota. Because it's like a two-a-terror. Like two-a-killed or is about to kill both the teams. You're right. It's like a two-a-two-timer. Yeah, that's it. I honestly can't figure out how either of these teams don't finish fourth. I think your roadmap for the AFC East is a lot easier because we're going to have the Jets at least trying. Yeah. We're going to have the Jets at least trying. The first few weeks, Dolphins don't seem to care at all. Falcons, I think the Saints or the Panthers would just have to really stink. But I just don't see how the Falcons aren't in fourth place. So anyway, that's my first one. What do you got? How about this? Chargers get eliminated in the first round of the playoffs, plus 172. Wow. In the last three years they've made the playoffs, I think they're going to enter as a three seed. They're going to screw people up a little bit. They'll enter as a three seed after winning. They're going to lose at home. I have them losing to the six-seeded Chiefs in round one. Chalk that up as a winner. One way or another, they're losing in the first round. So this is just a Herbert shorting by you. Yeah. Right. It's pretty good. It's like how we would bet Mahomes every year. And then, okay, every three years they'll win the Super Bowl. This is the other version of that. Yeah. So ways you lose, they don't make the playoffs, or they're the one seed. Right. All other scenarios, you're in play. I really like that. Okay. Oh, man. So many good ones left. Are you done? You could tap out if you want. No, I have so many. I really love this one. I'm not going to do Atlanta twice. I'll do one that I love that I've wagered on myself. I have Houston and Seattle both to make the playoffs. It's plus 112 on FanDuel. Basically, even odds. And I don't see a world. We're either of these teams don't make the playoffs instead of something, unless something horrible happens. Now I've learned my lesson from last year because we got burned. We'd had some three team playoff stuff. And what, what, what I took away from that, my mistake and my lesson going forward is three teams are just opening the door for weird shit to happen. Two teams stick with the two. You really like one in each conference. They're not, you know, they're going to be each be doing their own thing. I just think Houston's defense and Seattle's defense, those are going to be. Two of the three best defenses in the league. Um, I just be shocked if either of these teams didn't win 10 plus one, 12 sounds great. Sign me up like that. I have them both making the playoffs. Why not? Plus money. Yeah. Who, who beat us last year? I, in general, Kansas city, Kansas city killed us last year, Detroit. Did you have Detroit too? I think I had Kansas city killed us. We lost multiple, it honestly ruined what should have been an awesome year for me. Right. But I had all these different Kansas city bets that murdered me. Yeah. But all right. Um, all right. You're up. I have a, this is my only NFC South bet and God bless you. You're going to have a dozen, but it's a, it's a cousin Sal special on Fandle bill. You could check it out, uh, on the ringer specials right there. All right. It's a combination bet. NFC West to have more wins than the NFC South and the AFC West to have more wins than the AFC North. So say that again. I forgot it already. No NFC West to have more wins than the NFC South. Okay. So that's going to happen. Yes. They can do that by 10 AFC West to have more than the AFC North. So you have the, you know, you could have three double digit win teams. And if the Raiders are competitive against the AFC North, you need the chiefs. Yeah. Yeah. You need Cleveland not to be good. You you're hoping Cincinnati is not like an 11 win team. And I don't think Pittsburgh's going to be very good. And that's plus one 65. If you put those together. Wow. That's a really good one. The AFC part makes me a little more nervous. Yeah. I think the other one I thought was great, but I like the juice, the plus one 65. You mentioned the NFC South. He got me excited. So I'm going to bang this out now. Tampa to win the NFC South plus one 75. I honestly, this is a miracle, but this is still the price. I don't understand it at all. Plus one 75. They're by far the best team. This is like, you went to the doctor and they say, Hey, you got to stop drinking. And they're like, yeah, whatever. The doctor and you get to the parking lot. You're doing shots of Jager Meister in the car. Like why would the NFC South enough? One of the things that's appealing is a different team seems to win this stupid division. Although Tampa won a few in a row, but usually when we have the screwed up divisions, a different team wins every year. And that's how who's, who's up this year. Tampa didn't win last year. Okay. Yeah. So what was that? Tampa plus one 75. Sign me up just to win. Okay. All right. All right. One more Sal special on. Fandle courtesy of the ringer Rams. When the West, the NFC West. Yep. Chargers make the playoffs and Cardinals lose their first five. That's just a fun one. Plus eight 50. Yeah. LSC playoffs. Zona loses their Zona goes. Oh, and five. They have the most onerous schedule in the league. They're at the giants week four. I feel like that's their best shot. Otherwise they're a seven, 10 point dog. Yeah. You go. Pays over eight to one, eight to one. Oh boy. Yeah. Same. You really, you did your homework this year. I can tell that's a pretty good one. It always works out. Yeah. All right. I'm going to take this off the board. It's a defensive one. It's I could probably get this later, but, um, I want to do this. It's not a jinx. As you know, I like winning more than jinxing your teams. I have Dak Prescott to win the MVP at 18 to one. I just like the odds. I think that team. I think one of those two NFCs teams is going to be really good. Um, especially because of those four Washington giants games. I just like your team. We talked about it earlier. Jerry being quiet is notable. He's got weapons. He's he's, they figured out the pickings thing. He's going to be able to, they're going to be able to run the ball. Um, I just like the odds. I don't understand why his odds are 18 to one, but burrow is like five to one. So you got to be, yeah, that, that shouldn't be that wide, but he should be right in there with the rest of the favorites. If Dallas is 12 and five or 13 and four, Dak's going to win the MVP because they, the freaking media machine behind the Cowboys, you know? Right. Anyway, I like the, don't, don't make, don't clip that off. Don't, don't even bother with that. That's it's nice and everything. I appreciate it. We forgot to welcome Tony Romo to the podcast. Yeah. It's going to be, he's over my shoulder all season. Yeah. Tony's got some time now. He's going to hang with us and, uh, yeah, he's going to always invited on the pod to join us. Okay. Yeah, please. Tony, the real Tony. Um, all right. That's good. I mean, I, I, I like Dak for like most passing yards and passing touchdowns. And when he, I just wanted a Dak prop before you grabbed one because I knew I'd figured you were going to grab one. That's fine. Okay. You know, he's not in the NFC South, right? Are you still okay making a future bet with him? I'm okay. All right. This is stupid. You're going to hate this, but Zach Taylor, coach of the year. At plus 2,700. Now I think, I think he's either first coach fired or coach of the year, nothing in the middle. And our friends at Fandle are too nice to let us bet for first coach fired. So the 11, 12, maybe 13 when Bengals could get Zach Taylor, some hardware. Imagine that 27 to one. Who do you think is going to be the first coach fired? If it's not Zach Taylor. Oh, Oh no. I feel like we've talked about this. He's going to have some run. Cause bowls would be up there. If Tampa starts out slow. Yeah, but it's less than you think. Right. It's, it's just like, there's less candidates this year because we had 10 new coaches. You have some entrenched ones. Andy Reed's kind of a fun guest for this. Interesting. They just stink. And they're like two and five and people are like, he's done. Sirianni is a wild card. If the Eagles are super disappointing. Um, but it's. It's way less than you think wildcard KFC is a wildcard potentially. It's all people you would never expect. Aaron Glenn. If, if it's just, Oh yeah. Aaron as awful as it was last year. Yeah. Yeah. That team has to get an interception. Um, all right. Uh, okay. That was my, you go. All right. I'm going to take this off the board just cause I don't want you to have it. Um, price on the Seahawks. Hmm. Rookie Notre Dame. 750 points. It's over under on FanDuel. This is over under on FanDuel. He was being drafted like a 25 to $30 running back. If he doesn't get 750 yards, somebody got hurt. Like with the, with the way that that team runs the ball, the zone blocking, which I'm sure they kept and I seven, it's a 17 game season, 750 yards. That's 45 yards a game. Right. So he'd basically have to get hurt not to hit that. I think they're gonna need 'em. I don't know if Charbonnet's coming back. The other guys are all third-string, fourth-string running backs. I think they're going to use this guy and ride him, and I'm grabbing it. 750. This reminds me of the Ibuka last year, which was one of mine that hit. And it hit in like nine weeks. But it was like, who else are they throwing it to other than him and Mike Evans? Like, we just watched it. So anyway, price, 750.5. That is a low total. So what is that, 40? If you play 17 games, that's like 47 yards a game? It's a ludicrous total. Yeah, I don't really understand it. I'm right. Price is right for price. I'm going to write that down. Over 750.5. All right, I'll stay rookie here since we're doing rookie. Yeah. I picked this award, Offensive Rookie of the Year, correctly, two of the last three. Yeah. I'm going to say two and a half, really, because Ibuka, who you brought up, was in the driver's seat for like nine weeks before he just disappeared. He got hurt. Baker got hurt. Yeah. He killed a lot of fantasy teams, too. DeJuan Stribling for the 49ers, plus 850. You got Kirk out. Ricky Pearsall on IR. Who knows with Diuk, if they sign him, if he plays, whatever. Kittle starts banged up. I think there's plenty of opportunity to catch passes from Purdy, who was like top, I think, eight in yards per game. This guy had back-to-back 800 yards with Ole Miss. Plus, we might have the Mike Evans injury like at some point. Yeah. Right. So, you got Evans there. So, he had like four catches in the preseason, all over 10 yards. I think he's going to be, I'm going to go O'Roy at plus 850. And I think, like, you could get him for most receiving yards to a plus 470. But 850 for these purposes is my pick. And that was 20 to 1 at one point. It was pretty high. I think that dropped. Yeah. I know. I'm not getting the best number. So, TMAC won last year. Yep. He came on late like a freight train. Normally, I'm always afraid of rookie receivers, but the two almost won last year. Okay. I have another one. This is. This is the. This is the goofiest one. And I can't decide. Ah, fuck. I'm just going to do it. Okay. This is a parlay with three receivers. This is one of the. Can you do this? One of the only ones. Yeah. Matthew Golden on the Packers to get 600-plus receiving yards. Jalen Coker on the Panthers to get 600-plus receiving yards. And Rahid Shahid. Rashid Shahid. 500-plus yards receiving. You put those three together, it's plus 561. Wow. And the only way I lose that is if one of those guys gets hurt for half the season. Shahid is the number two receiver on the Seahawks, basically. And if you remember, they traded him mid-season and they were trying to figure out how to use him, but he's their deep threat. I feel like he's. 500 seems low. You could talk me into 750 for him. Coker, who. Holy Cross' own awesome playoff game last year against the Rams. I think he was like 12 for 140. He was hurt for most of the year. He was going to be the number two receiver. Basically, he was out of the loop for three months, came back. And then Golden, the Packers went from five receivers to three. So if you think. If you think Jordan Love's going to throw for 3,500, 4,000 yards, he's got Kraft and three receivers. All of those receivers should be over 600. So plus 561 for me for that. Does make sense. But it's too many. Overs. Like, this is how. I know. This is how we lose money, just bad overs. That's why I said this is my only one of these. All right. Let me show you how it's done. Okay. Puka, under 107 and a half receptions. I love it. Now, I know he had 129 last year. And so this would be a big drop-off. But not that big if you have to sit two or three games for unforeseen reasons or for foreseen reasons. So he's got some groin stuff going into the season. That's the groin stuff we know about. Least of his problems. Yeah, exactly. So 104, 105 catches would still be incredible. 108 over, let's say, 14 games is like eight catches a game. I don't think. Also, the starters might not even play the fourth quarter in some of these Ram blowouts. So I really like the under. I don't root for injuries, but everything else. Also, does he come back from Australia? Yeah. That's the other thing. Yeah. They're going in. They're leaving the next day. It's like 50-50. He's on the plane. Arrested for fornication. Arrested for fornicating with a kangaroo, which apparently is illegal. I love this one. That's a great one. Especially if the kangaroo thing happens. Yeah. No, you're catching somebody the year after the best year of their life. Right. Somebody who took a lot of big hits who already, you know, might have some injury stuff going and definitely has some other stuff going. So I really like that one. Okay. Can't believe this is still on the board. I looked at this as. Under seven and a half plus 210. But I'm going to go one higher because I just want to win this. Washington and Atlanta. Both under eight and a half wins. Eight and nine or worse. Both teams. Plus 112. It's good. I just don't see either team. Why do you got to put the south in everything, man? Just open up a Waffle House in your backyard already. What are you doing? Who's going nine and eight out of that combo? Oh, neither. Do they play each other? Plus 112. Yeah. Plus 112. I love it. I like that. What do you got? By the way, I should mention with Washington and Atlanta, the two NFC team, we talked about this last week, but these are the two NFC teams I'm just shorting every way I can. The whole time? I just think both of them are going to be bad and I still feel like the market is not adjusted. I don't really have an AFC team like this that I feel like everybody's off on. I think you could make the cases. Like Indianapolis, I was excited and I think you went under for us. That was one of your favorite picks. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't feel like it's a. I feel like these are sure things. Wow. That these teams cannot go nine and eight. Yeah, I know. Seven and ten. I just don't see a world where either team is not. Washington can't block. Atlanta doesn't have a quarterback. And Atlanta has probably the worst front seven in either conference. So I just. That signed me up for that one. Why don't you bet that them to go 0 and 5? I'm sure there's odds on that. I don't know where they are, but. I might have the worst record in my arsenal. You can just parlay. Just parlay them losing over and over. All right, this is a bet that you're not going to like this, but you could do this with any team you like in this division, I think. Okay. Green Bay to be the two seed at plus 1,000. I have them to win the division. I have them to win the division at plus 280. But I think it's a better bet and you just do this with the NFC North winner who should have not as many wins as the NFC North. I have the NFC West winner, but I think more than the Cowboys Eagles. I know you're high on the Cowboys and certainly more than the South winner, right? So. Wait a second. The West team, the West winner is the one seed and then I think the NFC North is the two. So basically, instead of betting Packers to win the division. Yeah. You're betting them to be the two seed because you're gaming that to be the second best division in the conference. They'll have more wins than your. They basically just have to have more wins than the. The Eagles or Cowboys or your Tampa Bay Bucks, whoever you have in the South. 10-1 odds. Pretty good. Yeah, but you could have. Who do you have? You have the Bears to win that division, right? Like you'll get. I have the Lions. You have the Lions. All right. So you'll get. I don't like it though. To me that. You're afraid of the NFC South. I'm afraid of the NFC North. Yeah. Okay. I can't believe I'm doing this one. You're going to be so mad. It's another NFC South. It's another NFC South bet. What's the matter with you? What happened? Baker Mayfield, 4,000 plus passing yards plus 340. So I looked at this. I studied it. Two years ago, he threw for 4,500 yards. Last year, he was on pace to do it before seven parts of his body got injured and everybody else got injured. I think their offense is going to be good. 4,017 a game. That's 200 and what? 230 yards a game? If they play 17, yeah. Every bone is body broken last year. But yeah, if he goes 17 games. Offensive line didn't have worse last year. He has his left tackle back. I think they have a top four offensive line. I think they're going to protect him. I think he plays 17 games. I think he gets this easily. I looked at the 4,500 too. It was 19 to one. Thought about it long and hard, but that was aggressive. But he did do it two years ago. Did you mention the contract year? I don't remember. Contract year as well. Little FU. Little FU as well. So there you go. What do you got? The only thing is their defense has, if their defense is better, that hurts their and his numbers a little bit. But all right, as long as we're talking 4,000 plus, how about Trevor Lawrence? Plus 160. Not as good a number, but probably because he had 4,007 last year. And the team, led the league in drops. 45 drops. I love this. So if you cut that number to 30, which is still really bad. Yeah. He should go way over this number. Like you could escalate it to 4,100. You should be okay there too. But I'm going to go to law 4K plus 160. I love it. And I'm going to follow it up with another 4K bet. Okay. Caleb Williams plus 210. That's a good one. All the same reasons you said. I actually think they're positioned to throw the ball a little bit more this year than they did last year. Year two of Ben Johnson. I feel like Caleb's going to be better this year. Their schedule's fairly hard, which I like. You almost want the games that are going to come down the fourth quarter where you know the guy's out there. I think that's what hurt Drake May last year with some of the passing stuff because sometimes the games were done. But is Caleb just never going to throw for 4,000 yards? He's going to do it at some point. Just to keep the joke going? Yeah. You want to keep going? Do you have another 4,000-yarder? Of course. Oh, go. Oh, I don't know if I have a 4,000-yarder. Okay. But similarly, Christian Watson, 10-plus receiving touchdowns is plus 340. Wow. So he's never part of that wide receiver slog. He's no longer part with the, you know, love could focus on him and Reed and Kraft and Golden, like you said. He typically gets between six and seven touchdowns, but I think he ups it to double digits, gets behind the defense a lot. Yeah. So do that 10 times, plus 340. Sadly, after having been burned by him multiple times in fantasy, I don't know if I can support any Christian Watson bets. It's fine. Yeah. I can't support this bet, though. David Montgomery, now in the Houston Texans, 1,000-yard rushing season. Just needs 1,000. 1,001 would get it. Just 1,000. Give me the four digits. Plus 220. Hmm. Good defense. He's not sharing it with Gibbs or anything like that. He'll actually, he's going to be a workhorse. I just feel like a lot of 20 for 72, 19 for 75, 22 for 68, 1,000-yard, 17 games. That's less than 60 a game. And he's way, way, way better than anyone they had last year. And it was the biggest hole they had last year. So I like that. Plus 220 for that. Let's take some heat off of Woody. Heat off of Woody Marks. Yeah. I always try to go by his yards per carry, but it's not really fair because he's a goal line vulture. So he's getting a lot of one and two and three yards. He has to move the chains there. Right. And that's a key point. Like they had him out there inside the four. Chewing up is now he's going to actually go. All right. You're up. All right. Here's a weird one. Vance Joseph, assistant coach of the year. They have this on FanDuel. 11-1. One in previous years by Josh McDaniels, Ben Johnson, Jim Schwartz. The Denver defense right up there with Houston. I didn't even look at this one. Yeah. The 68, 63 sacks the last two years. They had four guys with at least seven sacks, Denver. He came in second last year, Vance Joseph, to Josh McDaniels. He had like 80 votes. McDaniels had 130 or something. So I think he wins it this year. Plus 1100. Was Mike McDaniel the favorite for this? Must have been. Yes, I believe he was. Yep. Now I can't find it. Who's your Dallas defensive coordinator? Christian Parker. 34 years old. Could be another one. Good one. If you guys go from like one of the five worst defenses in the league to like 14th. Yeah, that's true. I'm rooting for Vance Joseph, though. All right. Going big upside for this one. I can't believe he didn't take it. It had Sal written all over it. Malik, what you talking about, Willis? Thousand yards rushing this year. Plus 850. Yeah, something like that. Damn it. That is the most Sal bet possible. Plus 850. He's going to run the ball 10 times a game. Maybe 12. I like it. He'll break two of them. He might have a game where he's like 22 for 70. I don't know. But plus 850, I couldn't resist. All right. This is the one I couldn't resist. Malik Willis. God forbid we don't have a Malik Willis future here. So I have a special section. Most quarterback rushing yards is plus 500. Oh, that's even better than mine. No, I don't know if it is, but he's going to have 2000 yards rushing. Unfortunately, only like 600 or so are going to be beyond the line of scrimmage. Forgot about that with the sacks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But they don't count against you, but you don't get things for sacks. So I think plus 500 could work out for him. We haven't seen a lot of them in preseason, whatever. It's not like he's playing games, but I do wonder if they're going to be. A really funky team to play where it's just like a lot of running and weird shit and almost like watching some of the stuff you say I was doing last night. He'll kill a teaser with a four quarter seven yard touchdown run against us somewhere. Mark it down. I'm marking it down. I'm also going to mark down this one. Seattle and New England together over eight and a half wins. You like that piece? Because there's a third piece coming. But Rams under 13 and a half. You put those together plus 145. So Rams go 13 and four or worse. I'm basically going to win because Seattle and New England are both winning nine games plus 145. Interesting. I really like that one. I was trying to figure out different ways to bet against the Rams. I just feel like them going 14 and three seems absurd with a top heavy roster with the schedule. They have the Aaron Donald probably playing 30 plays a game for the first three months of the year. Some of the schedule shit. This Australia game. Like if they lose that Australia game, are they going 14 and three? So I wanted to figure out something with that. All right. I feel like an idiot because I did all this research and I'm, you know, I fell out with the Rams. I mean, we'll give our Super Bowl pick at the end. Is that what we're going to do? Sure. Last one. Yeah. So, but I like the first two. It's hard to believe a year ago, Patriots and Seattle were favored to not make the playoffs like going into this. Just outrageous. I'm going to do it to you. What you did to me here with, um, with, uh, Drake, maybe what do I want to do here? No, you're going to probably, should I want to do 35 plus touchdowns or do I want to do AJ Brown 10 plus, um, all right, I'm going to do date AJ Brown 10 plus receiving touchdowns. I knew I should have taken it. I think that's a really good cop. You got to read it. It's not, it's not enough to read it right now. Plus two 40. There's a world. I hate to say this. And there's an emotional hedge where maybe throws for 41 touchdowns, 39 touchdowns and AJ Brown's and get at least 10 of those plus two 40. It's a great bet. I also looked at the 12 touchdowns for this, which I think was, what was that? Like plus 300 something more. Yeah. A little higher. So you got it. Plus one 25 plus two 40, 10 plus plus two 40. Yeah. I wrote down plus one 25 for that. I feel like you're for 10 or for eight. I mean, it's over under is, is like, did you do eight or 10? I did 10, 10. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well then I'm going to have to get you back. Miles Garrett, defensive player of the year four to one. I know it was on your list because I know it was on your list. I know you've been looking at it. And you've probably betted in real life and, um, he will have one of those. He's just going to love being center of attention and being in big games. And here's the other thing with this. Cause he had 23 seconds. I was looking at his sacks where he'd have like 14, 15, 17. He they're in these games where they're down by 20 points, you know, in the beginning of the third quarter, he like when you have something like that and you're up 10 in the fourth quarter, when you know the other team is passing all the time, that's when people get sacked. So he's going to be in these situations that he's been in four times a year for the last five years. And now it's going to be over and over again, where he's going to try to be Marian or Rivera in these games. So I feel like he had like 25 sacks this year. That's easily the smartest thing you've said in the last hour. Yeah. That's good. I didn't realize. Yeah. I mean, how does he get all these sacks for the Browns when the team is just running the ball, trying to hold a lead and he, and he did it anyway. And now it's the opposite. Good job by you. It's good. It's easy to talk about like these pass rushes when you have leads, that's when you really want the pass rush because when you know what the other team's going to do and you have these teams that have a good pass rush, but their offense sucks and they're down 10. It's like, well, what's the point of having a good pass rush teams running the ball. All right. Definitely. All right. I'm going to, I'm only doing one of these because I lose sleep over these when a team like Detroit or the chiefs doesn't make the playoffs. So I'm, I'm taking teams to not advance to the post season. I'm taking the Colts, I'm taking the Browns, taking the giants. I'm taking the jets. I'm taking the Cardinals and it's only plus one 56. I got to tell you something. I'm not worried about any goddamn one of them right this second. Thank you in advance to Danny dimes and dart and Deshaun and Jacoby and Gino. Good Lord. Those names. Plus one 56. So we need Indianapolis is the one that could screw you here. Probably. There's some smart people on the giants, smart people. I'm playing for the giants or on the study was stuck. He was on the giants, which I was shocked by like, like the big, basically using the new coach theory with the giants that Harbaugh, yeah, you know, changing, which I love the new coach there. I just don't know if Harbaugh is an upgrade from Brian day ball in that way. Maybe I'm wrong. Old coach. Yeah. I don't know. You are a member of the New York giants driving down Stratus, their playoff odds went way, way, way up after that. Um, okay. King's fourth in the NFC North, plus 175, is off the board. I like that. I didn't want to parlay that with anything. That's just a straight up, I think they're the worst team in the division. I think KOC is an outside chance for first coach. I'm just in disbelief with the love for Kyler Murray. I don't get it at all. We'll see. I'm happy to be wrong. We always need more good quarterbacks, but I just like that team by far the least in that division. Plus 175 sounds great. Good for you, man. You did it. I have a couple of these. You tipped me off to these, Team X, to have more wins than Team Y. Love these. You know what? Since you did the Vikings, I'll do this too. Chargers, more wins than the Vikings. Minus 130. I just did the math. I have the Bolts winning the AFC West, and I do not have the Kyler Murray-led Vikings at 500. Minus 130. Minus 130. Chargers more than Vikings. Okay. I'll keep the momentum going with. What do I want to do here? I'll keep the momentum going. 30-second pause. You know what? I don't like your attitude, so I'm going to take Cowboys over 10.5. Plus 500. Take all the time you want. Plus 500? Is that right? Plus 500. Burning. Burning money. Burning money. I like this because instead of betting the division, betting them to go 11-6, they'd win the division, but the division odds are plus 170. They go 11-6, I get plus 500 for that. Sign me up. Why would I not do that instead of betting them on the division? I'd rather have the 5-1, 11-6. I hate this. Jinx. I'm betting your team. You're betting my team. It's never going to work. Listen. We're aligned this year on the Cowboys. I have actual money on the Cowboys this year. I'm going to be rooting for them to win, and you just got to fucking suck it up and get used to it. Wow. This is what we're doing. We're both rooting for the Cowboys this year. Maybe you'll be more depressed next Sunday night. We'll both be depressed together. What do you got? Bijan Robinson. I know you didn't like him. We talked about it at the Ringer Fantasy Draft. If you had gotten the two seed or if he had dropped to you, a number two pick, I'd took him. Most rushing yards, plus 750. He was fourth, so it's 1478 last year behind Taylor, Henry, and Cook. All three are older than he is. I think they're going to lean on him a lot. If you're right, and Atlanta can't figure out the quarterback thing, this guy is going to get a lot of carries and he's used to it, so plus 750 for most yards. I'm going to follow that up with Falcons under five and a half wins, plus 190. Wow. It's been like 90 seconds since you had the South pick. Good. Plus 190. Falcons, five and 12 or worse. I think they will have a top five pick next year. You're back up. Yeah. That's pretty good. All right. How about this? This is an exact finish parlay. Raiders, fourth. Why not? Jets, third. Already like that. Cardinals, fourth. Plus 229. Raiders, fourth. Jets, third. Cardinals, fourth. Plus 229? Who screws me there? Honestly, nobody. It's maybe the Jets. Good, man. That's really good. We'll take it. I'm going to put Seahawks, NFC West, plus 210 on the board. Hmm. For the life of me, I do not understand why they are such prohibitive underdogs against the Rams. I don't get it. I think both teams are probably two of the best teams in the league, but I don't understand why there's a dramatic disparity between them. Especially when there's way more room for error with the Rams. Right. You're talking like seven, eight guys where two go down and it's a different team. They have no depth at all. Yeah. You should be able to bet that week 18 decides it because it always seems to. Isn't that the vision? It's a fun one. Yeah. All right. As long as you have plus 210 on your mind. This is my Falcons. The Colts under six and a half plus 210. Just don't say it. Falcons, Colts. Colts of mine under six and a half. Plus 210. Both of them. No, no. Just the Colts. Oh, just the Colts. Yeah. Aren't they regularly seven and a half? Yeah. Yep. I think so. Yeah. So there you go. So that's a six and 11. Six and 11. Did you tell Dabundo you were doing this? Yeah. He endorses it. He covers his eyes and he knows what's coming because that was ridiculous with Daniel Jones did. And I think he's going to have the toughest time coming back from this injury. And then what? Richardson's like third string. We're skipping over these injuries. Not you and I, but just in general. Like everybody is superhuman and just come back right away from ACLs and Achilles. And, you know, Tatum came back for the Celtics. They ramped him up and he missed game seven. Quickly, Houston to win the AFC South. It's still plus 120. I like them so much more than every other team in that division. And really, it would only be Jacksonville who is coming off as we discussed in the over-under pods. Like not only is there a regression candidate, but they had an abysmal draft. You know, they lost their first round pick in the Hunter trade. Nobody liked the rest of the guys they took. They lost Travis Etienne. And I just think Houston's better than them. So plus 120 sounds fantastic. I'm with you. Can I piggyback a plus 120 Texans bet too? Yeah, what is it? The Texans to have more wins than the Eagles. I just look at my, I'd say 12 is bigger than nine. And that's it. I think that's honestly, I think they can win that by two games at least. Oh man, you're going to be mad at me. I have another one. Houston and Seattle over nine and a half wins each. It's all right. Tampa over eight and a half wins. Plus 422. I need two 10 and sevens from Houston and Seattle and a nine and eight from Tampa plus 122. Sign me up. Sounds great. I have broken my rule of not putting three teams in a parlay with over. I just did a really good run. Yeah. You know what? I'm not going to apologize. Not even one commercial break. Nine and a half each. And then Tampa over eight and a half. I would honestly be stunned if they couldn't win nine games. That just means Baker got hurt or their left tackle got hurt. I hate to do this as a friend, but I really want to root against Tampa and for Atlanta now so that you hate the NFC South as much as I do. And it's the only way this is going to change. This is the only way I'm going to learn. Okay. I don't know. All right. What do you got? We running out yet? Because I have a lot more. No, no. I can make another offensive rookie of the year pick too, right? Can I have a couple? We're just the one. Jacoby Lane on the AFC side. USC guy. Third round pick for the Ravens. Harbaugh never would start these guys. He would like these like not first rounders. He was a third round pick. So he would send them right to the special teams. Right. But he's getting first string reps with Jesse Minthers. He's a virgin of the Ravens. So I think it's worth it at plus 2200. Jacoby Lane. Welcome to Team Sal. Plus 2200 is nice odds. Okay. Man, I have a lot of good ones left. I'm going to do this as a tandem. Just because I think it's a tandem bet. So it's two bets. But I like the two as a combo because I think it has to be one of these two teams. Okay. Baltimore one seed plus 500. Houston one seed plus 750. I think you do both and try to hit one. So basically, if it's one unit each, I'm either out two units or I'm up four units or I'm up six and a half units. But it's basically a bet on Baltimore or Houston will be the one seed. FanDuel, if you want to throw that up as a ringer feature bet, knock yourself out. But I think it's those two. I don't see any other team in the AFC having a better record than those two teams. So you're saying the West battles each other. Yeah. Their winner is 11 games. I think it's probably Baltimore. The Patriots and Bills do the same. Yeah. Yeah. It's basically, I like the Baltimore for the one seed because of the schedule with Houston as the hedge plus 750. Okay. And that's the move. Nice. I kind of enjoyed that one. Yeah, that's a good one. You took me through it. What do you got next? Let me do. Let me do. Let me do Parker Washington over four and a half touchdown receptions minus 122. You mother fucker. I just. I knew you had it and I think you're going to bid. What do you have for a receptions? $21 on him in our draft. I love Parker Washington. Five or more touchdowns minus 122. Oh, man. Let's go. It's minus 122 though? Minus 122. Okay. That's all right. Could afford it. That's what I'm looking for. I'll take the other. Where's the other Parker? Isn't there a Parker Washington? Oh, yeah. I have him a thousand yards. Yards. Plus 165. Not bad. So we both. We both have Parker Washington insurance. Yeah. I thought he was incredible down the stretch last year. I loved him. It was just. He put it together. He was open all the time. Teams knew he was going to get open and then he would get open and Lawrence found him and he's awesome. I think he's the best receiver on that team. - Yeah, they're just a pass. Last game in general is going to be great, I think. All right. Emotional hedge here. Oh, boy. Hurts 10 plus rushing touchdowns plus 145. Hasn't this hit like every year? It did. I don't think it didn't hit last year. Right? I'm pretty sure it took a tumble last year because that whole offense was not good. And here I am like singing songs about how, oh, the tush push only worked 64% of the time versus 81%. But he's going to shove it right up my keister now again. Yeah. Yeah. He had eight last year. 14, 15, 13, and 10 the four years before. He'll hit 10. They're going to play with a little more pace this year, too, it sounds like. Yeah. So what'd you get for odds for that? Plus 145. 10 or more. All right. Continuing with my Baltimore theme, last year I hit the coach of the year. And this year I think I'm going to hit it as well. Jesse Minter. Mm-hmm. Plus 850 for coach of the year. I think it's a good way to bet the one seed with Baltimore. And I probably just should have done that instead of what I did. But they won, I think, they either won eight games or nine games last year. I can't remember. But if they're a 12 or 13 win team. Yeah. Combined with all the stuff we've been reading, which we talked about on the pod last week, about how much the players love him, blah, blah, blah. And I just think he's, every year there's a guy that comes in who is the hot assistant who comes in. And he's just an awesome coach right away. Two years ago, it was McDonald. Last year, Ben Johnson. This year, it's going to be him. I just, I think it's going to be him. So plus 850 for that. That's a good one. I have Zach Taylor and you have, so I'll be funny if it's one of those two. You have Zach Taylor with way better juice. It's stupid. Yeah. Okay. Dolphins' worst record. Let me just grab this. Plus 220. You want to win money? How much do you want to win, Bill? You want to win 22 million? Bet a million. That's a great one. Or 10 million on Dolphins. Dolphins' worst. Plus 220. Way too many young players. Way too much dead cap money. We went over it last week. Disgusting. Sorry, Malik Willis, but this is what it's going to be. That's a good one. It was on my list. Did I do what? I did Washington under yet. Have I done that? I don't think alone. Yeah. I'm going to do Washington under five and a half wins. Plus 220. I just like the value. Because I have the Atlanta one that I took earlier. That was plus 190. This is plus 220. So basically, if one of those hit, I'm up. Right? Right. It's basically a Washington or Atlanta two to one odds that one of them will go five and 12 or worse. I honestly think both of them could. But yeah, plus 220. You hate House's team. Thursday nights are going to be fun. The ironic thing, House is like me. When his team sucks, he'll be the first to tell you. And I think he thinks they're going to suck. Yeah, he does. Yeah. I just feel like we called a regression last year, right? Then, I don't know. Do you think we should have called this podcast Harlan Cohen's Guest Alliance? Because it's on Netflix. Oh, interesting. Is it Cobin? Harlan Cobin? Or Harlan Cobin? Harlan Cobin. I don't know. Who's the guy that's on Netflix? Very few people get to put their name in front of the show. Tyler Perry gets to do this. Well, it obviously didn't work because you don't know how to say it. It's Harlan Cobin. Harlan Cobin. C-O-B-E-N. Yeah, he puts his name in the front of the shows and they always crush on the streamers. Interesting. And we could have done Harlan Cobin's Guest Alliance year 20. And I wonder if it would have done better on Netflix. I should have thought of that. I really regret that. Is it too late? Let's put a poll up. See if it's too late. All right. This is a thinker, but Pat's sixth seed is plus 1,000. I like them to make the playoffs. It's really good. But not win the division. Yeah. I don't think they'll have as many wins as the two West teams that make it, but still enough to get to the postseason. I like them for the seventh seed, too. But the sixth seed is plus 1,000. And I do think you can rack your brain and hedge out of it, too. Week 18 somehow. Really smart. I was looking at them to win the AFC East plus 140. And I was going to do it later. But since you just directly attacked me, I'm going to do it right now. Pat's to win the AFC East plus 140. I said this to you when I did the overrunners. I have no idea why them and Buffalo don't have the same odds. Nobody can explain it. Buffalo, as gamblers, as people who think about the lines and the action, they're going to win the AFC East plus 140. They're going to win the AFC East plus 140. But when something doesn't add up to what it actually should be, just because a team is popular or there's narratives that have nothing to do with the actual thing, that's where you want to be. This Buffalo thing, everybody just has decided Josh Allen is going to win 11 games for the rest of his life. And I think there's some real question marks with them. And for some reason, people have way more question marks with the Pats. I'm not saying who's right or who's wrong. But I think to me, it's an either or. They have won 11 games six years in a row, haven't they? I get it. But they just fired their coach. Yeah. And it's like, Joe Brady's going to be great. I don't know. Is he? Okay. What are your favorite Joe Brady moments? He could be the new Vrabel. Who knows? Maybe. Mike Vrabel had won, though. He'd gone to the AFC title game. Well, he's not a giant. Who's Joe Brady done? How big of favorites are they for that? For the division? The Buffalo is a slight favorite for the division. They're a minus, and the Pats are plus 140. Yeah. All right. I'm saying they should be the same. So I'm grabbing the action. Okay. That's fine. What do you got? Well, I think you have one of these, but you haven't said it yet. And I think if you give this guy protection and let him sling it, then the Chargers end up with 12 wins. That 11 to 1 for Justin Herbert for MVP is a fun bet. Yeah. I like it. I'm too high on the Chargers. Who are you too high on? The Ravens? You know, I was going to be there with you until they, until, until the center got hurt. And the left guard center, right guard combo, everybody was like, this is going to be abominable. That really scared me. So Slater's the key. I have a Herbert one as well that I'm going to get off here. I think it's slightly better odds than what you just did. And it's basically the same bet. Justin Herbert, 4,500 yards, 12 to 1. Oh, yeah. Now, I looked up because I was like, he's throwing for somewhere. We're around there, right? He threw for 5,000 yards once. Yep. 2000, 2021 range. And now McDaniel and they're, they're going to have actually a healthy offensive line. This is one of my favorite bets. Let me write that down. What would you say? 4,500, 4,500 yards, 12 to 1. Yeah, that's great. So you figure he has a 475 yard game and like a 460, right? He'll, he'll get close to a thousand and two games. And then the rest, like where they, it's just like a shootout, whatever happens. And then I just need to keep them healthy the rest of the way. And I'm going to get my 45. I like that. Yeah. I like it. You're all right. Uh, what do I do? So you're going to hate this. Okay. But who do you have for comeback play of the year? Cause I have Jaden Daniels at plus seven 50. Oh, I like it. It doesn't, doesn't mean he has to win 12 games. So I've, I've boycott this bet after whatever, when they changed the rules about what constituted a comeback. I just got too confused. But you're right. It's probably something like that. Don't we want something to scream about? Like, yeah, like this is, they tell you Aaron Donald is not eligible because you can't be retired and come back. And yet he's sitting there as a third favorite at plus eight fifth. Why can't you be retired and come back? Well, isn't that the definition of a comeback? I didn't play football for three years and then I came back. Yeah. Guess who's coming back? Aaron Donald. Yeah. I think it counts as a comeback. The comeback player. Yeah. I, uh, I find it hard to believe, my homes isn't going to win this unless he goes like seven and 10. Man. He's such a big favorite though. Plus one 50. All right. Another favorite of mine. One of my favorite guys in the league, Mallory took him in our ringer fantasy draft right ahead of me. I was upset about it. Tried to, I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. Brock Bowers, thousand yards plus one 35. That's a couple of things for this one. When he's actually healthy, he gets, between 90 and 130 yards. That's one two, there's always less late games and you need stuff to root for in the late games. And most of the time it's these two shit teams playing each other that you can't believe you bet on the game, right? It's really fun to just root for Brock Bowers to make catches, right? That's two, three, their receivers are other than maybe Miami, the worst receivers in the league. But Miami doesn't have anyone like Brock Bowers. Like Kubiak even said he had a quote last week about, what's that guy's name? Jack Beck. Yeah. Bash. Yes. Jack Bash Harvey say it. And they asked Kubiak, like, has anybody stood out so far in the receiver room? And he was like, Nope. He's like, the answer is no, they have not. So Trey Tucker, whatever Tucker. Yeah. But Bowers, I just think as long as he doesn't get hurt and that's the problem with all of these, but how does he not get a thousand yards? And we might play 12 games and get a thousand yards. Yeah, that's true. That's a good one. Yeah, because Kubiak and. They work well together, Kubiak and Cousins, traditionally. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to write that down. What do you got? What do you got to write? You're up. I just did Bowers. All right. Bill's more wins than the Chiefs, minus 120. Could be a lot more, but I have it 11 to 10. And again, Bill's 11 plus wins six years in a row. That's minus 120. Minus 120. Okay. I had a bunch of over the Chiefs bets I wanted to do, and I got psyched out. You did? I did. I just, I think the Chiefs, I don't think they have the talent. I don't think they're going to be good in it. I don't want to bet against them because the legal will be so invested in trying to get them to 10 wins and trying to get them to be good. And I just, I don't want to be on the other side of that. Just been burned by them over the years. Okay. I'm almost out of things. You want to just feed around five more each? I have more each. What do you want? Um, well, I'm, I'm running out of ones I really like, but one of them is bears over nine and a half wins plus one 20. Okay. Um, 10 and seven, I went and I still, I'm still a fan. Um, the regression and the harder schedule thing. I just think that team has a lot of talent and I really believe in Ben Johnson as we talked about in the over-unders last week. I think he is a top five, six, seven coach in the league. And I find it hard to believe he's going to go nine and eight. I think he's going to go nine and eight with the weapons that they have. I don't see it. It's a good one. It's a good one. Um, Caleb Downs, defensive rookie of the year plus 700 have to have it, have to have it on my ledger. God bless this kid already a great leader, maybe the best leader we've ever had through three preseason games, such a home run pick the giants passed on him, right? They took the lineman. Yeah, well, they got, yeah, so they, right. They, they went the other way with it. Yep. Just a huge mistake. Just show, just show them up. Um, did we do a book a thousand yards at plus one 50 yet? I don't think we did. No, yeah, I'm taking it. I mean, he almost had this in half the season last year. He's going to have to do it. I have a lot of, I, now I know exactly what your fantasy team is going to look like Tuesday. I'm all for value and I don't understand who else is catching a thousand yards on that team. Out of all the receivers, they have when Mike Evans isn't on the team anymore, you're going to have Baker and all his receivers, you know, and then you want, it sounds great. I'll take, I'm going to have any, I can have any Falcons. You're going to Brock Bowers. Yeah. Um, how about Stafford most passing yards plus 500. Ooh, why not MVP, you know, gets rid of the ball in like a second and a half. I know I went against myself with Puka under, but yeah, they throw it to like three tight ends. So they're not running back. Yeah. Um, I'm going to do another David Montgomery bet because for some reason you left me both of the good ones, David Montgomery, eight touchdowns, just eight minus one or two. That's better. Eight rushing, right? Rushing. Yeah. I think it's just touchdowns. Is it, I thought it was touchdowns either way. I'll take it at eight minus one or two. All right. I'm going to go with the touchdowns. What was your favorite of all your things? We did like almost 80, it feels like. The first one, the Jets. Isn't that sick? Isn't that disgusting that the Jets to come in third is my favorite after all this? I think my favorite is Houston and Seattle both to make the playoffs plus 112. But I also really like Falcons to offense. The first two I took, the fourth place plus 343. Yeah, your favorite has to be the NFC South. Yeah. All right, that was really fun. Just so people know the plan. We give these out on Netflix and then we jump in your 2002 Dodge Intrepid and we drive to the Kentucky-Tennessee border and we place these bets and then we drive back hopefully in time for Pat's Seahawks kickoff. We did that with Harlan Coben. And with Harlan Coben. The three of us. It's going to be his next movie. We do everything by the book. You're going to wear a seatbelt every day. I've been wearing a seatbelt for the last month. I'm still unclear why this made people so upset. Like. If I had said I was smoking 10 cigarettes a day, would that make people more or less upset than the seatbelt? I think it's right up there. Let's take Babydoll, for instance. I think this is something I could see Babydoll, our agent, our crazy agent doing, not you. And by the way, you throw out there that you can't see. You're freaking Helen Keller. You're not able to see. No, I can see far. I can't see close. I see far. Great. Isn't the windshield close? Yeah. There's shit that goes on that's close. Thanks for making it. You're making it worse. No, you're using it now. This episode is brought to you by the Hulu original series, Chad Powers, starring our friend, Glenn Powell. This season, the walls are closing in on Chad's biggest secret. And with his future on the field hanging in the balance, he'll have to win back the one coach who wants nothing to do with him. Watch the new season of Chad Powers, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. This episode is brought to you by CorePower Protein Shakes. You know how we always talk about the little things that separate great athletes? Post-workout recovery is a big factor. CorePower Protein Shakes help you keep going after your workout with high-quality protein to build muscle and electrolytes to help hydrate. It's all you need for your recovery in one bottle, available in 26 and 42-gram protein options to pick what works best for you. Visit corepower.com to learn more. Wow, that's good. Today's Parent Corner, I'm squinting, is brought to you by Instagram. Instagram teen accounts have automatic protections on by default, built-in content settings for the entire team. The content teens can see, and I can't see. Contact limits for who can contact them and time management tools like daily time limits and sleep mode. My left eye is so dry. Teens are automatically placed in the teen accounts and teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of these settings to be less strict. Instagram will continue adding built-in safety features to help create age-appropriate experiences. I'm so glad they're doing this. I think I read that correctly. I think in like five minutes, you're like, so hold on, we got to do this. It was Instacart. I read it wrong. It's interstellar. I don't know. What's that? Instagram. No, it was Instagram. I got that right. Okay, you're up first. All right. All right, I have two beach stories with the summer officially wound down here. So last week, my youngest 12-year-old, Harris O and I, we're going to go to the beach. I'm like, we're running out of days here. So he brings his surfboard. We stop at the convenience store, get some fruit, sandwiches, chips, drinks, and I'm in heaven. We walk down to the beach. I lay it all out on the blanket. I'm like, let's eat first, and then we'll go in the sea, and it'll be great. And he says, he's like, no, no, no, I got to go. I got to go. The waves are good. They could go away. Like, they go away? He's like, yeah, it really could get less, and it could be shorter waves. I'm like, all right, fine. So now all the food's out. And I'm like recording him. He's like, get it? Actually catching a couple, and I'm getting some good shots. And then someone sets up a blanket right in front of me. And so now I can't record. So I have to walk down and record him. I just want a minute of him, and then I'll walk back. So I'm recording him, and I just happen to look back, and there were 30 effing seagulls on our blanket, and they just devoured everything. The sandwiches, the chips, and I go running up there like I'm a madman. They took the tub of watermelon, which is heavy for a bird. These scumbag rat birds took everything, everything, everything, and a half hour later, Harrison comes out, out of the ocean. I'm like, well, we got some bad news. I'm like, the food is gone. He's like, well, how much? I'm like, all of it. Literally all of it. Yeah, yeah. Yes, all of it. There's like a little scrap of lettuce on the blanket, but a seagull will be there in a minute to get there. All right, so that's that story. Can I interrupt you quick on that? Yeah, yeah. That was my fault. Completely my fault. Nothing cute about kids or anything. What do seagulls bring to the table? No, I know. It's kind of an underrated, they don't get enough scorn bird. Awful. Who has a good seagull story? Anyway, keep going. I have a good one. My father hated him so much, he would maybe plant Alka-Seltzer on the blanket. Yeah, he's a bad dude. Poof. Not good for seagulls. Oh, my God. Read the back of the, probably shouldn't have said that. At least we're not live. I know. There you go. All right. Okay, so fast forward another beach story to a couple of days ago, our friend Brad. How would you describe for our first time Netflix? Actually, he's been on Netflix. He was in that hitchhiker, that hatchet-wielding hitchhiker thing. He's been on this pod with us. He's been, we've done stuff with him. Go back and listen. He's just a crazy person. He fled, he joined the Navy to escape paying gambling debts. He doesn't have a nervous system, I think would be the best way to describe him. That's good. The way he is day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minutes-a-minute, it's like if somebody came in right now and threw fireworks into the studio as I was doing the pod and I jumped up because I was scared, that's kind of him all the time. Exactly. I would say. And he's loud and he's boisterous and he's very confident, right? Very confident. He'll go after you. A lot of opinions. The draft's going to be fun with him just going after. So anyway. All right. So he's come, I have custody of him for a couple of days when Kimmel's on hiatus and he comes out here and he's like, I only want to go to the beach. So you would think if he only, only want to go to the beach, he would bring a bathing suit. But being 53 years old and having lived here a couple of decades, he doesn't own a bathing suit. So I have to lend him a bathing suit. Yeah. Oh no, burn that thing. Yeah, that's it. So I lend him to burn him and the seagulls at the same time. Yeah. I lend him a bathing suit. I don't expect to see it again. So he goes right for the ocean when we get there and he is getting pounded. He is getting slammed to shit by the waves and he's screaming at the waves while he's getting slammed. He's like, turn it off, turn it off. Like a lot of it is for show, but he's also getting like thrown around. And he also doesn't know how to, like the drawstring is a foreign concept to him. He just puts it on. I guess he's never had a bathing suit before. And so when he's getting hit by the waves, his, my bathing suit is immediately coming down. So he's nude and he's screaming in the ocean and onlookers watching from the beach, the reaction range from somewhere between thoroughly amused and considering pressing charges and so after, I'm not getting like 20 minutes of this, my son Jack comes up to me. He's like, Hey, I think we should get him out. I'm like, all right, let's get him out. I'm on the thoroughly amused side, but let's get him out. Now as I'm coming out. We should mention, you're also videotaping this. Yes. Send the videos later. Yeah, exactly. I sent it to you. And, and like the lifeguard walks up too and he's like, Hey, should you get him out? Like he's asking me if I should get him out. Like this is a situation like he should probably be in there, but he doesn't want to touch Brad. And so, so I'm going to have to pull him out. He's like, Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? And I pull him out. I'm like, you're nude. You're screaming. You're a menace. I have to get you out. And he's like, motherfucker. I was just having fun out there. I'm like, having fun. You're dying. Well, then the lifeguard thought he was drowning, right? Yeah. The lifeguards like, Hey, go get him. He's drowning. It's not a lifeguard thing to do. Anyway, that's that. We've watched the Ray Gunn documentary and that was, that was my fourth, son. I mean, here's the thing. He can't keep his normal pants on. Everyone in LA has seen his butt crack for 23 years. So putting a bathing suit on him, I don't know how tight the drawstring would have to be. It's true. Yeah. I should have duct taped it to him. Yeah. Yeah. You might do the thing where they painted it on. Well, it's his now, so you can figure it out. Brad. I have two stories, both about walks. I went back to Boston for my daughter's first two games, walking to the game. And it's kind of, it's like drizzling a little bit. We're walking through the city and I'm walking with, my daughter's already there. I'm walking with her boyfriend, the famous Hank and my son, Ben. And I feel like this thing hit my head, which I thought was water, but I was like, man, that felt heavy. Pull my head up and it's a giant green bird shit. That's just a clump. And I throw it down. So now, now it's in my head. I'm in my hand. I'm wiping on the thing. But then, and Ben and Hank are horrified, but I'm like, no, no, this is good luck. This is good luck. This is a big Italian thing. I wrote about this in 2004 when the, when the Red Sox, that whole playoff run, I got shit on by a bird and I didn't wash the shirt because it was good luck. And I have a whole column about it. So I was just like, this is great luck. There's no way Zoe's not scoring today. Wish we could have bet on it, but they don't, they don't have a lot of D3 women's soccer. But anyway, she did score. It was a good start to the season. I get to the game and people are like, Hey, out. And I'm like, don't shake my hand. Hold on. I got burned. And I walked like an extra 15 yards. So anyway, that was one. The other one is, um, go to Fenway with my dad and my son and Hank. And my dad takes an Uber. He meets us there. And then we're going to walk back to his place after, which I would say is a 25 minute walk. We leave Fenway. They get killed by the Mariners. It was the one good game. The Mariners have played probably in 10 days. And I want to mention, just as an aside, I hate the Mariners with the passion of seven hells. Wow. We have so many of them on our fantasy team. Um, Kate Anderson, who they yanked around forever, finally brought up. And now he's not even doing as well as we thought George Kirby, who I would rather quit fantasy baseball than have him again, Josh Naylor, who's been pretty good this year and limp through. It just didn't run out of double play where the guy, the second baseman bobbled the ball throws it. And so, somehow they still get Josh Naylor in the double play because the whole team is quit on the manager. And then Munoz, the best closer in the L who's blown nine saves this year. And every time he comes in, he throws a hundred miles an hour and people just hit it everywhere. I hate this team. I can't even imagine how Mariners feel. Uh, I don't know why they haven't fired Dan Wilson, except there's a theory that they want the Mariners. They want the Mariners fans to feel happy after the year. So they're saving the Dan Wilson firing. Anyway, we lose to the Mariners. And we're leaving Fenway. And my dad's like, we should take a cab now. It's like this huge mass of people. And we're like, nah, we'll walk slow. Ask this guy. There's a cab driver. There's like how much we tell the address. He's like 35. I'm like, we're not paying 35 to go. It's a, it's a short walk. Dad, you'll be fine. We're walking. He starts complaining halfway through my dad's 78. He's doing the I'm 14 months till being 80. We stop at one intersection. He puts his hand on the meter. Then he says he has a pulled. Groin. He's like, I pulled my groin a few months ago. And I, so now we're arguing about his pulled groin on the intersection. Hey, pulled groin. How are you like playing pickleball? Get to the house. Um, he's completely wiped out. And then the next day he's supposed to go to the museum with Ben and, uh, and bails because he was still worn out from the Fenway park, 25 minute walk, which we then argued about for the rest of the way. And he's like, you should be more supportive. I have a pulled groin. And I guess this is, it's just what our relationship is going to be like with our parents for the rest of our lives. I am a thousand percent on his side with this pulled 25 minute walk, 25 minute walk. First of all, that doesn't even count all the meat heads who are going to approach you. Yeah. I love what you do, man. Hey, you know what you should do? You should talk about it when Tatum and then Brown and like, Oh, but how do you even deal with that for 25 minutes? $35. Who cares? I thought you were going to say it was like, it was a nice day. It was a nice, nice, nice walk. Everyone's going slow anyway. I agree with that. 78. I didn't even know I had a pulled groin. So now I felt like I was like an elder abuser. Yeah. Um, yeah. It's then, then he wouldn't go to the museum the next day. Wow. That sucks. And then I should mention during power corner, we have a new strategy with my mom. Yeah. Because you'll know this cause the Italian side, they want to be invited, but they never want to come. Oh yeah. So we now call my mom every time we're doing anything. Because she'll turn it down. But then she feels like we thought about her and we asked her, like, do you want to go to this labor day party tonight? Starts at six o'clock. There's no way she's going, but now she feels, you know, she feels like, Oh, they thought of me. They were nice stuff to invite me. And you somehow win points, inviting them to do something they'll never do. I know you identify with this, right? That's good. Of course. Are you making her walk? Is that why she's ever going? My mom walks every day. My mom was outraged that my dad wouldn't, he was like, this is why we, we got divorced. See, now he's going to be mad at me. I don't know. I love it. Like 20 short, slow, 25 minute walk. Yeah. Uh, 78. Yeah. I mean, you power walk through the Sistine chapel. I mean, it's just a foreign concept to you. When we went to the Red Sox game, I didn't see him on the injury report. Like shouldn't they put questionable, questionable groin. You took your Mariners frustration out on a 78 year old man. Very sad. One other thing on Fenway park, they have the Fenway Frank, which is delicious, but they also have the jumbo Fenway Frank. It's like a fatter, better one. I think it's the best hot dog of, of any stadium or, but I, it's really delicious. And they have the spicy brown mustard too. I just, I forgot. Oh, they do have it. Okay. So I think they're like one of four parks that have the spicy brown. There must've been a lawsuit there somewhere because city field has it. Dodger stadium does not. Yeah. They only have like the gross yellow yellow for seven-year-old. Kids yellow mustard. Can we make this a passion thing for us for the rest of the year is to push for more spicy brown mustard. It's like, that's what goes with a hot dog. Of course. That the only thing I could think is there was a lawsuit. Someone burnt their tongue or some idiot complained. And that was that. Oh, like it was too spicy. Yeah. So just make a nice spicy yellow. Yeah. I just forgot how good that jumbo dog is. This is great. I had a great time. Anyway, that is a that's parent corner for us. It was brought to you by Instagram, Instagram teen accounts, come with automatic protections that limit who can contact teens, the content they can see in the time they spend on the app. Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com slash teen accounts. I pulled it off. Comes with automatic erections protections. Damn it. I can't read. I screwed up again. Oh man. Um, all right. That's it. We did it. Let me say one thing. I won't get us in trouble, but with the Hank thing, and I just, I, I'm not gonna get us in trouble here, but do you went the lengths you went through to get rid of your daughter's boyfriend? It was D that it was Tony's I know ask, I can't believe it. And it now I feel the opposite. I love Hank. I didn't want to put Hank in jeopardy. He fell for it. Hook line. And so you think it was a Tony Soprano move really was. I mean, he's got a work release. He has to get out for three hours to go to a Red Sox game with you. It's very sad. Listen, it would, it was a very funny bit on the podcast last week. And it probably, probably colored my opinion on whether it should stay. Cause we're always going to go for the comedy first, right? This week, you're going to get in trouble. Cause your dad was feeding Alka-Seltzer to seagulls. This is just how it's going to go. You fed your dad to the seagulls. They're going to walk there. They did his mystery pulled grid. People are already mad at me. They say I instigated that whole story, Hank story. And I feel like I, I feel like I'm the guy run interference on some of your decisions. I remember when you, at the time you wanted to come out and brag about tossing your jury summons in the trash. And I'm like, don't, don't do it. You're going to get in trouble. And you're like, yeah, you made that up. You made that up. That's it for Harlan Coben's guess the lines year 20. Check that out. Thanks to Eduardo and Chris and Gahal and Jack and everybody at Spotify, Jack Wilson, just a complete maniac runs production for us and just went in on, went in today. Just wanted to make sure everything goes right. So thanks for him. Where'd he go in and he went into work to help produce this. Oh, neither of us are there. And then with, thanks. Thanks to everybody who voted on the polls. Thanks to everybody who sent a mail back. So when we come back on Sunday, it will be after Cowboys giants. It'll either be both of us happy because we have Cowboys bets or crestfallen Sal and me screaming at you. Why'd you let me bet on the Cowboys? Come on. Don't screw me. Give me one week of pure joy. Thanks. That flicks cousin Sal. Good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. Must be 21 plus and president select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas star casino or 18 plus and president DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming game prom call 1-800-GAMBLE or 1-800-GAMBLE. 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 888-79-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24 seven support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York for Louisiana call 877-770-7867. This episode is brought to you by seven up. Okay. This one's a case for accuracy bill. Let's bring them in. Ever noticed lemon is everywhere from lemon recipes to lemon scented cleaning supplies. 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