Group Chat: Handling a Situationship, Climbing Cringe Mountain & Who Leaked the Gender?

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Wait, what is part of the video crew? He is not a listener. He's a viewer. He's so cute. He literally sees you all day long and then he wants to watch your video podcast. But he hears in the other room while we record. And then he literally like sets up and does for us. I know he's very sweet. Well, I'm not even having so much fun recording Inner Childish. We hope you're loving it. We have both discussed that one of our favorite parts is the star 67. We get to hear your voice as about your life, what's going on with you. So we thought that for this episode, we would just do all Collins. So who's writing? I am so excited for this one. Like, I want to hear you guys yapping. Yeah. I'm so excited. And Aubrey and I are going into this blind. We have not heard any voice mails. Shout out Hannah for selecting them all for us. And let's do this thing. Let's do it. Hey, Abs and Vic. I was eating some advice almost about my little situation shift. I have been seeing this guy that I met on hinge about a year and a half ago. And we have been consistently talking for about a year and a half. We met on hinge, but we just happened to go to the same university. He did just graduate last spring. And now he's pursuing his career, but he's still seeing in the town that we went to college in. And mind you, we haven't been seeing other people. And I do fully trust him. I should probably throw that out there. Like, there's no red flags about him. At least I'm besides the fact that he hasn't asked me out yet. And we just recently hooked up, like, like about like two weeks ago. And it's, we met April 2025. It's September, 2026. And like, I don't know, I never felt pressure to. It just like, it was never about hooking up. And we, I don't know. I don't really know what to think. I don't know what to do. Things are, I don't know. I don't know. Like, what would you do? What should I do? Everyone's like just asking what you guys are. But I don't know how that feels really scary. Him and I are both pretty religious. And he's never had a girlfriend. We're also like very early 20s. I love you guys. Thank you for all your help. Okay, first of all, I love you. You're so sweet. Talk about a slow burn. Oh my lord. Yeah, I was like, let going to let you go first. Because I think we're going to have different takes. We're going to have such different takes. You know why just keep having fun. Until you're not having fun. Like, it's, but if you're having fun, you're having fun. And me, ask him what you are. You should definitely literally. I'm like, wait, we waited this long for the hook up. I'm like, let's just milk that for a while. I will say at this rate, you guys are going to get married in 2052. So maybe a conversation needs to meet staff. I appreciate that we got the religion nugget because, and that he's never had a girlfriend because perhaps he's of the mindset of like, if I have a girlfriend, that's my wife. And so he's putting all this pressure on himself that like, you guys being boyfriend and girlfriend is him proposing to you. And it's like, bro, it's really not that deep. Like, you got to date someone before you marry them. I mean, yeah, it feels like it depends if you're okay. Like, do you feel empowered with this situation? Do you feel like you want to be something more? Don't hold back anything that you want. I was always in the camp of like, I didn't ask because I never wanted anything serious. So like, I don't know, Vic, maybe you could. It is a personal thing and everyone views it differently. My advice that you are asking for, if it were me, I don't love being like, tried on as a girlfriend or tried on as a wife. Like, you are either committing to me and like, we are. We have clarity. And to me, I feel like I've got, you know, yeah, that clear identification of like what this is and what we both want where we're headed. So because my biggest thing is I feel for girls when guys just waste their time. When in your head, you're like, well, I trust him fully. We're basically together, but we don't have the title. And like, all you do is think about him, all you do is text him. You don't date anyone else. And like, you know, when you do have the conversation, he's going to disappoint you and say, like, I'm not ready for that. It's never a waste of time because we learn so much and everything happens, you know, for, I don't believe everything I was originally. But we get something out of everything. So, you know, I personally would want to have that conversation of like, I really like you. I feel like this is getting serious. And, you know, are we going to put a title on this? I would have that chat. See, I'm in the camp of like, but are you trying him on as a boyfriend? Because in that case, that's fine. Take your time, girl. Like, I feel like she sounds like she wants to be asked to be his girlfriend. Okay. If you want to be asked, then go for it. I was never one to like, you know, wait to say I love you or wait to be like, so what are we? And you'd be so bright. I don't think it scares guys away. I really don't. So you never went to wait, meaning you did ask those things? Yeah. Yeah. And like, if it was like, you know, one time I asked a guy, what are we? He was like, I'm good with what we're doing. I was like, cool. Me too. And then dumped him like a week later. Because I was like, actually, I'm not cool with that. But at least you got the clarity and you knew. I know. Yeah. Okay. I have a offer. Yeah. Ask Max what we were. I do think I had to like, nudge the like, it's time like to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Like, I think I had to be like, hello, like, you know, I think it was Flurdily. Flurdily. Is that a word? Flurdily is absolutely a word. It was Flurdily at a bar. And I was like, so like, I think we need to talk about this soon. You know, it was teasing him. And then literally the next day he asked me to be his girlfriend. And then when he went to Pittsburgh and he moved, I asked again, I was like, so are we doing this? Like, are we going to be long distance official? Like, what is your plan with your move? Because I need to emotionally prepare for if you're about to tell me, like, that feels way too serious. I just met you and I don't want to be long distance. So I was always an asker too. We love an asker. Be forward. Yeah. You can't scare the right one away. Period. Hi. I hope you guys are having a good day. Um, I just was hoping for your advice because I love listening to you guys. Um, and it's super, super fun. But every once in a while, it makes me a little bit sad. I guess that I've always wanted like a really strong lengthy friendship. Like you guys have had for so many years. And it's like been a dream of mine to have for a long time. And I guess I'm just wondering if you have any advice for someone who. It doesn't always have the best of luck with maintaining friendships and how you guys have stayed close for so many years. And just someone who wishes that they would have like clicked so well with someone at like five years old, like you guys did. Like you guys are so lucky to have each other. And I'm just wondering if you have any advice on that. Also, um, just to tell you, Vic, I have been through eating disorder recovery pretty recently. I'm 23 and, uh, just you and real pod and the hinder opponent and all of that has really helped me through it. So I just wanted to tell you, thank you so much for that. Bye guys. Oh my gosh. That is so sweet. I'm so happy for you. It sounds like you're an amazing place. Thank you for the kind words that means the world and I will pass that on to THO as well. And I'm so glad that you're listening to the show and that you left us this voicemail. I mean, it's tough. We're obviously speaking from a place of having this friendship, right? So anything we say, it's going to be like, we don't understand, you know, exactly how you're feeling fully, of course. You sound so sweet and genuine and I feel like I would focus on how can I cultivate that sort of friendship now to bring into the rest of my life. I think it's totally appropriate to like mourn and be sad that like, oh, I didn't take this friend through childhood or me and this person lost touch. And like, that has happened. And then once we get to that place of acceptance, the focus is like, okay, how do I cultivate those relationships for this next chapter? my life because it's important to me. I also think that like assuming that most people have a friend like this from childhood is is I think that's so rare that people keep a friend like this from childhood. And I think something that people assume is like, oh like you guys clicked so early and then you guys have been best friends forever. But like friendships are work. Friendships take time and friendships take dedication. So like knowing that like you have to pour a lot of yourself into a friendship to get a lot out of a friendship. I think it's important and like something that you can focus on moving forward realizing that like you know you might not click with someone right off the bat and then it's like roses and daisies after that. Like friendships are they're like a marriage. I feel like I mean that's a good point right of like it can feel out of your control to be like why has no one ever viewed me this way versus thinking about what is in your control of like how do I show up for the people I really want to be friends with. How do I initiate? How do I like what what do I bring to it because like you said it it does it it you have to give a lot. There was something else you just said that made me think of something. Friendships are like a marriage. We're literally a married couple. No. Well I was like when you were like friendships take work on my what work have you had to do for me. Think about all the times we've had uncomfortable conversations. We have. We have you know and we want to do an episode about like all of the like tips and things that we've worked through because yeah honestly I feel like you and I have had like big things that I can like remember and it's like four or five that we like to talk through. But I guess that oh that was part of this voicemail was they said how did you guys stay so close and talking about that. Oh oh this was what I was going to say welcome back. I'm not I'm here. You said it's very rare and I agree with you and that's part of the reason that people are fascinated with our friendship and like our friendship has become in a way part of like our online presence or uniqueness in a sense is because it is rare. So I guess I just want to like call that out that you know once again we're seeing things on the internet that like that is not everybody that is not something wrong with you inherently. It's something really unique that happened for Aubrey and I but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you if you don't have that you know. And it's never too late to make a friend like I think some of the best friendships that we're gonna have in our life are yet to come. What would be our last two cents on like cultivating a deep relationship with another woman. I think you get what you give but you can't expect anything back like I think you went through this not to make this so long-winded when you were looking for deeper friendships in college and remember you went on that coffee date with that girl coffee date with the girl but like a friendship date with that girl and you came back and you're like it was weird she was like kind of on her phone and you know like I felt like she wasn't fully like invested and I was like she didn't know she was being interviewed to be your new best friend. That was where the words I was thinking I was about to go off and be like she didn't know she was being interviewed. She didn't know she was being interviewed so like you know but I feel like you showed up and you gave it your all and like you poured yourself into it and like that's all you can do yeah yeah that's all you can do and I think no matter what it's something we all will keep experiencing even though I have abs and I feel so grateful for that trust me like you know you still have to develop other relationships and I think it's just a constant thing we're all experiencing in a different way but you sound like a total sweetheart and I have complete faith that that friendship is just entering your life in a different chapter than the one you expected. Okay one of my most frequently asked questions since I got pregnant was which prenatal are you on? I had to try out a few different ones before I found parallel. I was on a prenatal for a few weeks and I just felt off for a while when my doctor told me that I was ironed efficient and I definitely needed to switch to a prenatal with iron in it so I did a ton of research asked around and kept landing on parallel. Parallel is amazing because it changes with you as your pregnancy changes they have separate stage specific packs for trying to conceive first trimester second third and postpartum for example the first trimester there's a premium prenatal plus extra B6 and ginger for nausea in the third trimester it swaps in probiotics for gut health and the baby's microbiome and you switch packs as your body moves into a new phase. It's a once daily pack omega's probiotics all the extras your OB tells you to add their OBGYN founded third party tested and they won the clean label project purity award if you're pregnant trying or postpartum check out parallel new customers can use code childish for 20% off your first order at parallel health dot com slash childish that's P E R E L E L health dot com slash C H I L D I S H okay quick break to tell you about story blocks which is basically our secret weapon when editing it's a stock media library with millions of professionally curated video music tracks sound effects templates and images and every single thing in there is 100% human made by real filmmakers and artists nothing is a I generated I use it all the time for b-roll background music and sound effects in our videos and since everything is pre-licensed for monetized content I never have to stress about whether I'm allowed to use something downloads are unlimited under one subscription so I can test out a bunch of songs or clips and keep the one that works members save an average of three and a half hours a week and honestly I feel like it might be more than that so head to story blocks dot com slash childish to access the human made stock media library that's essential to my workflow for a limited time they're offering 15% off any annual plan and the discount is only available through my link again that story blocks dot com slash childish for 15% off annual plans okay a lot of skin care over promises and under delivers but one skin is different it was started by four scientists who study aging they found that most anti-aging products only fix the surface and not what's actually causing your skin to age so they tested over 900 peptides and created OS one which is in everything they make over time your skin looks smoother with fewer lines my personal go to is the OS one face moisturizer I put it on every morning and it has been an absolute life saver as we start to get into the dry winter born from over 10 years of longevity research one skin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age for a limited time try one skin with 15% off using code childish at one skin dot com slash childish that's 15% off one skin dot com with code childish after you buy they'll ask where you heard about them so please support the show and tell them we sent you okay one of my most frequently asked questions since I got pregnant was which prenatal are you on I had to try out a few different ones before I found parallel I was on a prenatal for a few weeks and I just felt off for a while when my doctor told me that I was ironed efficient and I definitely needed to switch to a prenatal with iron in it so I did a ton of research asked around and kept landing on parallel parallel is amazing because it changes with you as your pregnancy changes they have separate stage specific packs for trying to conceive first trimester second third and postpartum for example the first trimester there's a premium prenatal plus extra b6 and ginger for nausea in the third trimester it swaps in probiotics for gut health and the baby's microbiome and you switch packs as your body moves into a new phase it's a once daily pack omega's probiotics all the extras your ob tells you to add their obgy and founded third party tested and they won the clean label project purity award if you're pregnant trying or postpartum check out parallel new customers can use code childish for 20% off your first order at parallel health dot com slash childish that's p-e-r-e-l-e-l health dot com slash c-h-i-l-d-i-s-h hi my name is Chloe I wanted to share a story that I just a situation that happened and I'm having trouble knowing how to respond to it there was a kind of big family event that happened in April my fiance's brother got engaged in so they were having an engagement party and they were family photos that were taken a couple months go by I hadn't seen them yet but then in June my future mother-in-law she posts them on Facebook and I noticed that right away she has altered my body in these photographs so essentially she definitely made my arm look slimmer and my body looks slimmer so essentially she photoshopped and altered my body my body was the only one that was changed for some context I in the past year was the lightest I was ever had ever been and then gained weight and was the heaviest I ever was and have been trying to lose weight and get healthier again this year. But yeah, I didn't know how to address the situation. And I haven't addressed it and some time has gone by. I was just wondering for some advice on what you guys would do in my situation. Thank you so much. Bye. I'm gonna let you take this one. That's insane. That is insane. First of all, like so sorry that you had to experience that. It's so wrong on so many levels on, yeah, on part of your mother-in-law. If that, I'm just trying to think if I, if that were me and that happened, I feel like, and I do this, Max and I do this frequently, like your relationship with your parent is unconditional in a sense. So you can just say things differently. So I might have my partner talk to their mom and be like, what the heck was this? This was so inappropriate and offensive on so many levels. Like, please don't ever do this again. Like, I probably would have it be handled through, I call it a little birdie. I'd have the little birdie handle it. And I would just keep the note in the back of my mind. I don't know like we didn't get, you know, context on how close you are with the mother-in-law. This felt like a betrayal or out of character, or you're not very close and this felt passive and who knows. So I would have my partner talk to their mom, be like, you know, little slap on the wrist. Please don't ever do that again. It was really hurtful. And then I would take the note. I love in life just keeping a little note. Like, I used to be someone who had to go wrong with me. You know, you never forget. Hold a grudge. I used to have, no, I just, I used to be super confrontational and like need to talk about something right then and there. And now I think the way I live my life better is by taking a little note, putting it in my filing cabinet of like, this was weird. And then using that to help me navigate like how I approach things in the future. That's how I would do it. How about you, Ubs? I completely agree. And I feel like the most important thing to note is like, know that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your mother-in-law and whatever insecurities she has had her entire life. Like, regardless of if you were your latest last year, your heaviest this year, but wrong on all fronts and again, has nothing to do with you. So just know that like, this is probably buried somewhere so deep inside of her. And like, I know it's hard to disassociate from it and like put it like, acknowledge that it's someone else's problem. But like, I think it might help. The last thing I'll add, and I don't want to minimize your feelings at all. I just want to add a different perspective because I know that I tend to create the entire storyline and be like, she doesn't like my body. She edited me like, create this thing. I do think and I see a lot of the time now, especially like older people are, I think getting fed these apps online where they like click a button and their teeth get white and their skin get clear. Like, I'm seeing more and more like online, but also people in life, like they edit themselves. And I don't know. Boomers on face too, and you guys. I'd be curious to look again and be like, is, does her face look different? Like, did she click a button that like, quote, beautified, which is so annoying, like in a, you know, a societal term, the picture, and that was part of it. And then now it feels like a personal just to you. I don't, I don't know. I'm just saying, I also, you know, missed it. Was there a photographer? Is that what she said? No, I think she said it was an engagement party and the photos weren't posted for a while, and then when they were posted, she was edited. Yeah, it's like, okay, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. That's really wrong in so many ways. That's insane. That is insane. That's insane. This looks like crazy work. It's insane. It is insane. So like, Chloe, validating you, that is insane. All of your feelings around this situation. Use your little birdies. Yeah. Use your little birdie. I have a little tongue. Yeah. Light a little fire under that little birdie and send them their way. Right? A little note and you're filing habit once you know what's happening and then move forward. Hi, Vick and Aubrey. I love you guys so much. I've been following along on your pages for so long and I love that you have this podcast together now. It's so awesome. I love listening. Speaking of podcasts, I am dialing in because my sisters and I are starting a podcast and it's just the three of us. We don't have any brothers or anything and we're all in our early 20s just navigating life through different perspectives with different professions and everything like that. So we thought it'd be fun to do a podcast. So just talk about all of those different life topics and I just wanted to see if you guys had any advice about how to kind of get rid of that internal fear of like judgment from other people and kind of like putting yourself out there. Neither or none of us are influencers or anything, so like we don't have an existing platform or kind of just like wing in it, seeing where it goes. And if it doesn't go anywhere, obviously we'll just be so much fun to look back on later in life. But yeah, I wanted to see if you guys had any thoughts on just pushing that judgment out from others and just being fully ourselves and enjoying this new podcast experience. Thanks. So fun. So fun. So I was literally thinking that too. I was like, regardless of what happens, you're going to have these recordings of these conversations. How special is that? I thought that all the time through real pot I'm like all these episodes with max our kids can go listen to. So I loved that. Totally. I would also encourage you guys. Sorry. I know you wanted to talk about the emotional mental side of it, but from the strategic side of it, I think you guys should start like throwing up some sister TikToks. You know, that can never hurt just because you know, it is very difficult to start a podcast with no existing platform because then it's hard to just get people you're funneling to listen. So if you launch your first episodes and they will be adorable and you'll love them and you guys will be really proud just flagging like, you know, it is hard to get a podcast out there. It's less hard to get a TikTok or viral video out there and then tell those people about the podcast. I was going to say like I feel like I relate to the cringe of posting like I posted my TikTok as a joke and now it's my career. Like literally I posted one video just for my 10 followers to see and now it's been me and my husband's full-time job for two years. So it is crazy what the internet and what content and social media can do. So I think Vic you were the one that told me about cringe mountain. I don't think I've ever said cringe mountain. There's cringe mountain. So you have to keep posting and you're climbing up cringe mountain and everyone you're worried about everyone being like, oh my god, that's so weird. Why does she think she's an influencer? Why do they think that they deserve podcast equipment blah blah blah? And then you get to the top and you get to the other side and everyone's like, wow, that's so cool that they did that and they made it and everyone forget that like it was embarrassing and hard for a while. But like just keep climbing cringe mountain. I love that, you know, anyone who's gonna hate or say something negative is projecting the fact that they themselves could never put themselves out there and chase their dreams. So, you know, I always think about that. Like anyone who's crushing it and happy in their life has nothing negative to say about someone else. So anyone who would project or would judge you, it is them who's insecure and secretly and deeply respects and admires the fact that like you guys did the thing. Hey, it's Julie Louie Drives from Why's With Me, etc. Just popping in with a little reality check. Food waste shouldn't exist. There is no reason that our leftovers should end up in a landfill, but that's the final destination for about a third of the food we grow. Our ancestors would be confused. They use their food scraps as compost or as animal feed or in weird soups, all the stuff we did before garbage was invented. But composting is hard work. Living with a bucket of rotten food on your counter is gross. Most food goes in the trash because it's easy, but now there's something easier. Drop your scraps in a mill food recycler. It looks like a kitchen bin and an iPhone had a baby. It takes nearly anything, even meat and bones. It works automatically. You can keep filling it for weeks and it never smells. When you finally empty it, you've got these nutrient-rich grounds. Use them in your garden, pour them in your green bin, or have mill get them to a small farm. It's why I own a mill, why I invest in mill and why I'm still obsessed with my mill. If you want to get obsessed too, go to mill.com/wisor to get $75 off. That's mill.com. Slash Weiser for $75 off. Okay quick break to tell you about Storyblocks, which is basically our secret weapon when editing. It's a stock media library with millions of professionally curated video, music tracks, sound effects, templates, and images, and every single thing in there is 100% human made by real filmmakers and artists. Nothing is AI generated. I use it all the time for B-roll, background music, and sound effects in our videos, and since everything is pre-licensed for monetized content, I never have to stress about whether I'm allowed to use something. Downloads are unlimited under one subscription so I can test out a bunch of songs or clips and keep the one that works. Members save an average of 3 and a half hours a week, and honestly, I feel like it might be more than that. So head to storyblocks.com/childish to access the human made stock media library that's essential to my workflow. For a limited time, they're offering 15% off any annual plan and the discount is only available through my link. Again, that's storyblocks.com/childish for 15% off annual plans. Hello! I love your guys' podcasts so much. I've seen you guys on TikTok, my mom's obsessed with you guys, so I started listening to podcast and I love it. I just wanted to know since you guys are both married now. And I know I'm about getting there to that process and I'm excited for the wedding and the bachelor at trip and all of that and actually getting married. But what is something, it does scare me sometimes when it's like, "Oh, all that fun stuff will be over and then you're just with each other. Like, what do we do now?" If we don't want to have babies right away, what is something that you love? You love about being married and that change through the better once you made that commitment to each other. Oh my god, wait, no, you're just getting to the fun part. I know I'm like, that's the best just getting to the fun part. The best part is when it's all over and it's just you two. Yeah, you guys can breathe and do whatever you want and not have wedding calls and all these people's opinions and stuff in your business. Oh my god, no, there's nothing to be worried about after the wedding. I totally get that fear though, like I think, I think wedding planning is fun and challenging and something to do together. But like, don't you feel like being married is different than being engaged? It's definitely different because you're now on the other side of making this commitment of like, I will be with you forever in sickness and health or richer for poor through struggles, hard times. And like, after you're married, you have these, you know, big conversations about savings or investments or buying a home or where you want to live or where you want to grow your family, like whatever the things are. And I know Max and I, when things would get intense, we would just behind that, like we would both be like, oh my god, like we're a married couple, like talking about this stuff. Like we're literally like, we're arguing about pink color, like it's so cute, you know? Oh my god, no, being married is actually the best. I will say for everyone in general though, like, you know, the majority of your life with this person is the many, many years where there's not a big festive celebration. So, you know, obviously soak it up while it's happening, but also ensure that, you know, that's someone you want to be with all the time. Max and I always say the person you marry is your default hang. You don't have anything to do on a Friday night. That's your default hang. You don't know what to do on a Saturday. You're going to walk to coffee who goes with you. Your default hang, like you need to really love this person so much that at a default that's the person you're going to be with while you do every single thing in your life. I couldn't agree more. And also, if you're worried about being bored and maybe like, you know, your friends have stopped going out and you feel like there's a lull and you're not ready for kids. Get a dog, get a dog and give yourself something to work towards together. Getting a dog is the best thing ever and we swore we weren't going to do it. And it's like something to love, like get a dog, you won't regret it. And to your point, OBS about the party is slowing down everything like you're in that stage of life right now where like you have so much energy to like do the wedding and the bachelorette and all those things. I promise you in a couple of years, like you're going to be on a different wavelength. We're like, we are now where like a bachelorette doesn't sound as exciting as it did like when they were on. I'm tired. So enjoy the ride and trust. You know, when you get there, you're going to be in a different spot emotionally. You might be exhausted and it's so fun to attend weddings with your person you married and you don't, you don't have no work to do. Exactly. I, I got to make this fast because I just keep rambling. I personally have a troublesome but also great relationship with my mom. It's day to day, I'll be honest. I see Vic with Laney and I'm like, oh, I love that. That's so sweet. I haven't heard much about Aubrey's mom but my main question was more so how have you guys reflected on walking into motherhood and how have you, how has your relationships with your mom like affected that? That's my question. I don't want to lose sight of that. Love the pod. Hope y'all play this one and cannot wait to hear y'all's answers. Oh my god. Her voice is so cute. I love it. Y'all. I was going to say she sounds adorable. Also, we did just release the day we're recording this is the episode about us talking about raising girls where I feel like I listened to it this morning. We talk a lot about this dynamics specifically so I think you're going to love that episode. You're going to love that episode. Should we address it here? I think at a high level because that episode I do think dives deep into it. It's called we're having girls. I think at a high level like, yeah, let's each give a nugget for sure. Start with Queen Lini because she makes an appearance everywhere. Yes. I love my mom so much. We are so close and that I think of course is something that's like playing into how I think about having my daughter and I'm so close with my mom's mom, my yaya and my mom's going to be a yaya and I can't even imagine if my yaya like God willing gets to hold my daughter and we have all four of us together. I think I am taking so many great things from my relationship with my mom. I feel like she was just always a friend. She was always loving, always forgiving, always took like growing up, wait, why am I going to cry? Oh, I'm literally going to cry. I just think my mom took a lot on from all of her kids and just did it and she just like would let the attitude roll off her back. She'd let the disappointment roll off her back. She just like constantly came with love at all times and in a way like that is what you need when you are giving attitude, you know, like as long as you're obviously a good kid and your mom knows they had a hard day or they had this. I just feel like my mom always was like that place for me and I hope to do that. I'm definitely a little bit more stubborn than my mom and I'm a little bit more, no, no, no. You know, I'm excited to be challenged with a daughter and have a totally new perspective for how my mom had her relationship with me. Yeah. It's very sweet. Your mom is like just like duck in the rain, just everything just rolls off of her. I feel like I can speak to the difficult part of your question. My mom and I are so close and because we're so close and I think we're so similar even though I wouldn't say we are. She wouldn't say we are. My brothers say that when we argue, it's like we're arguing with a mirror because like it's just we're both so stubborn. Like I addressed this in the last episode. It's just like we both dig our heels in and we're both oldest daughters and like, you know, I would say about once every two months, I end up in tears. We don't talk for two days and like it's our, if anyone listens to so much to say it's our pain bodies, like that we just haven't healed with each other and I don't even know if like I really have an answer to your question, but just know that like I think most mom daughter relationships are difficult in any sense of the word. Like whatever that looks like for you guys, like I don't know if it's because moms and daughters are you turn into your mom at the end of the day, like in one way or the other. And I feel like a lot of daughters resist that and then it's just, it's just what happens. So I feel like for me what, like I have a lot of fear about being a mom and like knowing what a hard time I gave my mom when my mom is so loving and sweet and like just just hoping the little one inside of me just cuts me a little more slack than I cut my mom. I love that obfs and just to emphasize as well, like the majority of mom daughter relationships I hear about, I witness I see I would rate more difficult on the scale of difficult than I would say like seamless, easy breezy, no problem. So I feel like the mom daughter complexities is happening. all around us and I find that it does seem like people think it's just them and their mom and every other mom and daughter relationship is perfect but really the majority of the time every mom daughter relationship has their kinks they iron out literally when I told my brother I was having a girl he was like ooh the universe's way of showing you what's on the other side you I know you're right we'll have to check out on this in ten years yeah we'll do a break up and then 16 and then 20 and then 25 hey obs and Vic my name is Nicole I'm 39 I'm a teacher from Chicago and this is a message to any girls who are frustrated by their timeline and a gentle reminder to just enjoy the ride and be on the timeline that you're meant to be on when I was 27 years old very tragically my fiance Tim was killed in a hit-and-run they never found the person who did it was a very strange way to go out of your 20s it was you know a decade of heartache and bad relationships and not letting myself fully heal and grieve and grow but it was only when I finally decided to let go do therapy journaling meditation exercise I got two masters degrees in that time traveled the world met a bunch of amazing friends had the support of my family and felt the richness of that and also joined the cover band and joined sports teams when my life was really full that's when it was able to find love again and now it's been a year and a half with my new wonderful boyfriend Andy we just moved in together and all the talks and all the future things are going really well and I'm 39 so anybody that's still waiting for their moment to come it's coming you just have to cultivate a life that you're really proud of to let it in and let space and you two girls do that so well and I'm just so excited for you to be moms so thank you for everything you do and have a wonderful day oh my god Nicole you sound like literal ray of sunshine sparkles in a bottle like wow your teacher also Chicago I was born in Chicago love a Chicago gal I can't even imagine what it was like to go through everything you went through what a beautiful ending Andy Andy I can tell he's like the sweetest man what an angel what an angel Andy you deserve Andy oh Andy deserves you any guy I've never met a bad Andy every Andy is precious are they not walking green flags and precious truly we I love this reminder things happen for different people at different times and I feel like there's such a pressure to like rush and want and decide what's right and the universal just give you what you need as it comes yeah thank you Nicole for calling in with this PSA I think it's so important it's commendable admirable this journey you've been on where you are now the way you put yourself out there you join the cover band I think one of the star six sevens in a few episodes ago was talking about ways to keep life fun and playful and I think this is just such a beautiful example and a beautiful reminder so we just we want echo that thank you okay a lot of skincare over promises and underdelivers but one skin is different it was started by four scientists to study aging they found that most anti-aging products only fix the surface and not what's actually causing your skin to age so they tested over 900 peptides and created OS one which is in everything they make over time your skin looks smoother with fewer lines my personal go to is the OS one face moisturizer I put it on every morning and it has been an absolute life saver as we start to get into the dry winter born from over 10 years of longevity research one skin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age for a limited time try one skin with 15% off using code childish at oneskidden.co/childish that's 15% off one skin.co with code childish after you buy they'll ask where you heard about them so please support the show and tell them we set you hi guys I love the podcast I'm calling asking for advice I guess my best friend has been suffering from anxiety pretty pretty strong lately and I've been having a hard time handling it which sounds selfish to like make it about me like I know she's the one struggling but I've just found her anxiety has been manifesting lately and kind of like questioning plans that I have together or just kind of like my allegiance to her and it's getting getting really frustrating to me like we had plans to go the mall the other day and days leading up to it she kept texting me like do you even still want to go like what are we doing and I'm like yeah like of course I never said otherwise and I know it's just her anxiety talking but I can't help but get like so frustrated and feel like my loyalty is being questioned or something I don't know I want to be a better friend for her but it's hard when it feels like I'm being like shoved away because she's so socially anxious and I guess I'm just curious if you guys have any advice for me and love your podcast thank you first of all I feel for your friend who hasn't having the anxiety because I've had moments with you where I'm like I'm so socially anxious and like I tell you like I'm overthinking like things in our friendship and then you always like quickly are like you know like stop chill so I feel you're doing what I feel for her and also it's very sad when you see someone create a belief and then do everything to make that be the truth so she's telling herself my friends don't like me they don't want to hang out with me and then she is making it impossible for you to want to hang out with her and want to like enjoy her in those moments to then prove her like her her her anxious thought you know people subconsciously you know they create the belief they have so that's also so sad on the other hand yes you deserve to have you know friendships that bring you joy and don't drain you and all that jazz I feel like it sounds like there needs to be a conversation where I I mean if it were me I would just be like I don't know his person's name but I'd be like Megan I know you're struggling right now with your anxiety and I'm so glad that you feel comfortable talking to me about it and I'm always here for you and I need you to know you do not have to question our friendship I love you I will always be your friend I love hanging out with you if we have a plan to hang out I want to hang out like I want you to give yourself the relief of not needing to overthink our friendship I promise you if there's anything wrong I will come to you like I I will tell you but there's nothing wrong and I really just want to us to be able to spend our time together like enjoying each other the way that I know that we can like I would try to have one of those chats where you feel like you really are direct and reassuring and they hear that because then from there if they're still like creating this thing that's another thing to think about is like okay they're clearly not listening to me in this friendship and they're not like you know what I mean I feel like that was really well said yeah I feel like our advice is always have a conversation like I think even just setting up a system with her just being like hey you can just say text me do you hate me I will text you no and then we'll meet at the mall like you know what I mean like like let's just squash the bug and like you know no we're good and yeah like Vic said like if anything's wrong I will tell you yeah yeah it's it's so tough when someone's struggling with their mental health in a way because you want to give them so much grace and be there for them and it would be wild to assume that doesn't have an effect on the receiving party and that they then have like certain duties to take for their own mental health so we recommend you chat with your friend we're so sorry she's going through this but ideally this conversation makes you guys even closer and also last thing I do think my social anxiety kind of goes in waves like it'll happen for a little bit and then it's like gone for months everyone's different but maybe this is just not one of her best times because it sounds like this hasn't always been the way she is so whatever it is you know hopefully you can stick it through with her and then that'll be something of the past and this anxiety will be less like top of mind. Hi Vic and I'm love love love love love your podcast and I Victoria I am so happy you're having girl and you guys are having you guys didn't have those girl besties and I literally I'm so happy for that I just fun to say there was a podcast that I was listening of you guys Victoria before you announced that you were having a girl for the gender reveal and I swear I think I heard you say a comment about talking about your babies and then you said the word she but I don't know if that was meant for you or for Aubrey because um I was like throwing off I was like wait what girl but you never posted your gender reveal or anything but I just thought that was funny I wanted to tell you but um love you guys um I can't wait to hear more of your podcast I love that everyone sings they're like me - Okay, so funny that you say this because I've seen some comments and DMs of people being like, "I heard the she, I was like, let's just let them think that because then like, but I think in that episode I was referring to your baby." I know, can someone tell us what timestamp this was at? - I know, I need the exact episode timestamp because there's no way, like with us recording it, then it going through Jules, shout out Jules, who edits the pod, and then it going through Hannah who reviews the edits. There's no way a leak would have passed. So I think everyone on our team thought it was about your baby. - Maybe, maybe what happened, you know how we refer to like my water bottle as she, this lamp as she, that's her. Like, could you have been referring to like something inanimate as a she? - I need someone to send us the timestamp and I will be honest, if I fibbed, if I fibbed and I'll let you know, but someone sent us the timestamp. - You know what I did, and I didn't tell anyone because I was so anxious about it, I didn't even tell Wood about what. Oh my God, I was doing an AMA after I posted that I was pregnant and whatever, doing an AMA, and I posted me and Wood's mom and Wood in the ultrasound room, and I swear I listened to it, but I moved fast and I don't double check anything, and Carolyn goes, "Oh, she's so cute." And I got 40 DMs immediately. It's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl, and I was like, "No, it's not." Then I just deleted it. - Oh my gosh, wow. I was doing, she's because I never double checked my work, I never checked anything, I never listened to anything with sound. - I know, I don't either. There's so much, I just got to keep moving. That's why I have so many typos. Literally all my haters are like, "She can't spell, I'm like, okay, this slows me down." - You know what's nice is I'm just like sick, so no, I can't spell. - What was your something beautiful? - My something beautiful is, sorry, I'm always self-conscious when I make it max for the single release listening, but we hadn't seen each other today, like he woke up and started working, I left the house, and then I came back, and Emma was here helping us with some stuff, and Emma was there, and then like, Max came into the room, and we like had this moment of like, and Emma was like, "What's going on?" And then Max was like, "We haven't seen each other yet." And he came over and gave me a hug and kissed. - So cute. - And that's my something beautiful. That's a really good one. - Let's see, my something beautiful was, I had a wonderful phone call with my mom for 40 minutes this morning, while I walked to the gym, while I was on the stair master, and you know, usually wouldn't I go to the gym together, and we don't have any alone time ever, but now with Hank, someone stays with him. So I have time to like, yap with all my favorite people, and it always makes me so happy to start my day that way. - Oh, I love that. I love that, a good call with Kay. We need her name out there. Everyone says Leni, we've got Queen Kay. - Yeah, this is Kristina. Kristina is my mom, and if you meet her, she's like the bubblier and more radiant version of me. - That is not true. My mom exudes, there's no one bubblier than my mom. - I mean, that is true, but it doesn't need to be compared to you, like, you are less than. - No, it's like, we're so similar, except she's me dialed up, you know? - Well, you know what your mom is? Like, she's a Disney princess. - My mom is a Disney princess. - Your mom is a Disney princess, and like, picture in the opening of like a princess movie where like, the birds are flying in, and she's singing to them, and all the animals have flocked there. Like, that's your mom. Like, she's got like 10 to 15 animals in the house at a given time. - Exactly. Exactly. She's literally snow white. - Okay, well, I love you so much. This was so fun. I love doing this star six seven exclusive episode with you guys. We'll definitely do more in the future. Let us know if you enjoyed it. And we'll see you next time. - Yay. Bye. - Bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of Inner Childish. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen so you never miss an episode. - Oh, and follow us on Instagram at Inner Childish Pod so you always get the behind the scenes. - We're so, so grateful for you. See you next time. 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