Grit & Fruit | Part 1 | 04.14.26 | John Mark Caton

Welcome to another episode of Men's Bible Study. If you're listening online and want to join us in person, be sure to be here every Tuesday morning at 6am at Cottonwood Creek Church in Allen, Texas. If you have a question that you want answered, please text study to 77978. That's STUDI to 77978. Whether it be scripture, family, or life, no topic is off limits to have your question answered. Now let's hear today's message. Welcome to the new guys. We're starting a new series today. I was just sitting over there talking with the Jerkovich and Chase and Dave and we were thinking, "You know, if all of a sudden the senior staff at our church was on Artemis III and the toilet got backed up." We just were wondering who would be the last senior staff member that came out of the bathroom? Who do you all think it would be? Hill House. That's exactly what we said. We said, "Come on man!" So anyway, we do started a brand new series today on the fruit of the spirit. Grit and fruit. What grows in you? Proves what's leading you? And you know, when we think about the fruit of the spirit, you say does that really apply to us? Absolutely. And how we live and how we walk, how we raise our kids, how we interact with our friends, how people perceive us at the office. And a lot of times people were confused today. We've heard especially a lot of the last couple of years about what is masculinity. Well, we hear a lot about toxic masculinity, which for a lot of people is any time a guy wants to be strong, aggressive, passionate about something. And then the other side is everybody wants us to be timid. And the Bible doesn't paint either one of those pictures as a proper way for a man to live. We are to be toxic. We're not to be timid. We're literally to be transformed. And so when we start looking at the fruit of the spirit, this is a way for us to live, to act, it should affect our attitude, our work, everything that we do should be affected by God's spirit working in and through us. And so don't think toxic. Don't think timid. Think transformed. The God must do something in me and in my life and in my relationships that is powerful and special. So let's go to Galatians chapter 5. Go ahead and turn there. Just going to read them through. And then I'm only looking today at the first two of these. But here's what Paul says, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, guys, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have been crucified, have crucified the flesh, with its passions and its desires. So here's the deal. When we think about these first two, these are the unbreakable core. Guys, we have to learn to live with love and joy. A life without love becomes harsh for everyone around you. A marriage without love becomes harsh. But also a life without joy, our relationships become dull. And so guys, we need to be the kind of people, the kind of men if you're married with your kids that you learn how to bring real love and real joy into good times and in bad times into those seasons when it's hard to, that we show up and still show how to love. But when things aren't growing great that our kids can say, you know what? Dad's not been driven by circumstances today. Because if you and I live without love and without joy all the time, having consistent pattern, then what happens is our kids kind of live with a weather forecast. Or our wives live with a weather forecast. It changes. I mean, you walk into the house after work someday and based on the circumstances in your life, the wife, your bride, doesn't know what's coming home to her. Left kind of happy came back angry. Left lovingly came back unloving. And so that's why it's so important for us to think about these first two ideas. This is the unbreakable core. It'll improve every one of your relationships, every one of your conversations. It'll improve things at the office. We've got to learn to live with love and live with joy. Let's walk these through here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a definition of love and then I'm going to give you three thoughts that hopefully we can apply on our life. Then I'm going to give you a definition of joy and then I'll give you three thoughts. So write these down, take a picture of them, do whatever you want. And so let's learn and look at this unbreakable core. And so here it is, Galatians chapter 5 verse 22. The fruit of the spirit first of all is love. That's a gope that is choosing sacrifice when it cost you. If you are truly going to live in a gope kind of love, you have to choose to sacrifice. When you think about what Jesus did for God so love the world that he sacrificed, he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life. If you are going to live with a gope type love, if you're going to live with that kind of love, you're going to have a live and have to live in such a way that I am choosing to sacrifice for others. I love this idea. A sacrifice is sacrificial. It is selfless. It is unconditional. And it is a commitment to others over self. Go back to 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 4 to 7. It's anytime I'm married a couple I say, "Hey, I want to preach, I want to design, I want to write a marriage script, marriage ceremony for you. Choose a passage that is important to you." Most common one right here. Most common one right here. I love it when people go off off the bandwagon and throw me a passage from Job and I'm like, "Okay, what passage is that? Let me check that out." You don't want anything to do with Job or it only honeymoon night but here's the deal. This is the one that's most common. Let's walk through it and when I say it's active choosing to be sacrificial and selfless, every one of these, although they don't look like it, in the original language every one of these statements are in the form of a verb. If you want to put anything, put the word practices in front of each one of these words we see. Here's how this truly is. This is how it truly reads from the original. It says, "Love practices patience. Our love works at being patient." Let me ask you a question. When's the last time you've worked at being patient? When's the last time you step back and say, "You know what? I'm going to work on my patience today. Don't ever pray for it. Just work on it, right? Your love practices kindness. Love practices and chooses not to envy someone else. Is there anybody that you kind of envy your little jealous of? Man, you got to stop that. Love practices not boasting. Love practices not being proud. Love practices not dishonoring others. Love practices not being self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects. Always trust. Always hopes. And always perseveres. That's love. That's true, sacrificial love. When we implement it, we put it into practice. That's what love looks like. If that was a test for you and you were to say, "Check, check, check, check." Which of those do you think you do well in? Which of those do you little work? And if you're like me, you'd say it depends on the day, right? It just depends on the day. It depends on the circumstances. It depends on what's happening there. So here's a thought. Let me give you three thoughts on this. All right. Thoughts on real love for a man. Number one, love, agape, love, the kind of love that we're talking about here. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is a choice you make. It is not a feeling. Anybody can love when it's easy. Anybody can love when things are going well. The hard thing, the mature thing, the manly thing is to choose to love when it's not easy. Remember Jesus in the Upper Room, John chapter 13, verse 34 and 35, it says, "At the end of it, Institute of the Lord, supper, wash the disciples feet." Then He says, "A new command I give to you." What is that command that you love one another? Now think about the context. Jesus in the Upper Room is there with His disciples. Judas, about to betray. All the other disciples about to leave. Peter's about to deny him. He's had the last supper, is to the Lord's supper, washes the disciples feet, and then He gives this statement. "A new commandment I give to you that you would love one another." If I'm Jesus, I'm saying, "But I don't really love you right now, and I don't like you right now, and I don't know why I chose you 12." How many have you ever done that? You look rough. Guys, let me just tell you, this kind of love is more about backbone than butterflies. Everybody wants butterflies in a relationship, but let me take this kind of love. Jesus said, "This is about backbone." That you are going to choose to love one another because that's how men are. act and so I love this he says a new command I give to you is not an option he didn't say a new idea he says he didn't say hey guys I got a suggestion for you he says a new command I give you that you would love one another then he says as I have loved you so you must everybody say must I love this when I say it's more about backbone than butterflies he's used the word command and must already he's not saying this is optional he's not saying when circumstances are good or things are great so he says a new command I give to you that you would love one another as I have loved you so you must love one another then he says by this everyone will know you are my disciples if you love one another the greatest testimony you can give to a lost world is when we love each other when we love one another and so Jesus said this is a command so thought number one on love loves a choice not a feeling here's number two love is always sacrificial it's never selfish think about what Jesus was just about to do he was about to leave that room go out in the garden ask his disciples and join them said listen y'all stay here I'm gonna go pray he goes in praise come back what were the disciples doing or they fall asleep he says hey can you stay up for a minute I'm gonna go over pray goes over praise comes back they're asleep but what was Jesus on his way to do he was in their praying with sweat drops of blood coming out of his head and he's praying God if there's any way any how somehow that this cup can pass for me let it be so but ultimately not my will but you will be done that's the context of where Jesus is so I want you to note thought number two love is sacrificial it's never selfish Ephesians chapter 5 verse 25 husbands love your wives okay I'm gonna love my wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her if you only love your wife when it benefits you that's not love if you only love your kids when they do the right thing that's not real love true love will always choose sacrifice over selfishness it's what Paul is saying you want to know how you should love your wife just like Christ love the church that saddest conversations I had in that office around a table is a guy who come into me and say my wife's gonna leave me and sometimes he'll say something you know when I said I do at our wedding I'm in it then you begin to dig it below the surface and you realize he's been a bitter jerk for 25 years and now all of a sudden I do matters you understand what I'm saying guys and then you get her in the room said you know he's just mean to me not necessarily physically abusive just emotionally distant he just comes in he fires off and nothing I do is ever good enough and I will tell you that it breaks my heart because you do you literally have a guy sitting across from you going well what I said I do or till death does part it matter I said well what about how do you talk to her yesterday and the day before yesterday and a couple of months ago in the last couple of years and the patterns you have and he hasn't lived a life or a marriage of sacrifice it's been selfish so guys I don't want that to happen to you so listen when you journey out of here you think about this how do you love your wife just like Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her here's number three you ready number three on love love is visible not rhetorical or not theoretical was that mean that that people want to be able to see your love it's not this heartfelt butterfly feeling that I have in my heart they ought to see it they ought to know it I love this idea first John chapter three verse 18 dear children everybody say that's us it's good from time to time to feel younger so I just thought I'd throw that out there let us not love with words and speech only but with actions and in truth a love that cannot be seen cannot be felt I want to say it a love that your wife or your kids or your friends or your church cannot see cannot be felt you say well honey you know I love you it's just right in here she goes I can't see that man your wife needs to see that you love her she needs to hear that you love her he needs to know that you love her all right so it's way more than a feeling so those your three ideas now you don't just stop with love the unbreakable core first who is now joy so let's look at look back he says Galatians the fruit of the spirit is love then joy here's kind of a thought joy is not soft shallow or sentimental joy is strength under pressure strong men care a deep joy because they know God is bigger than any one of their circumstances I love what James the brother of Jesus said James chapter one this isn't new to you James chapter one verse two and three says consider pure joy my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds and you will because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance God will let bad things come in our life hard things come into our life and we need to understand men consider it all joy when trials come our way I don't know about you but here's what I've noticed about trials in my life it is they don't come single file well spaced out they don't say all right here's your trial okay I see it coming I'm gonna deal with this trial and then once I get this trial taken care of and I set it off to the side I've got a couple of minutes to take a breath and in here comes the next trial I see that I get to deal with it no he says your trials plural I don't know about you but they all come to me at the same time right is that the way your trials show up it's like bad call after bad call after bad call you want to turn your phone off because that was a bad day that's the way they show up and so notice what James this is the brother of Jesus he says consider pure joy brothers and sisters when trials come your way various kinds multiple kinds of trials different kinds of trials because you know that the way we deal with our trials is what ultimately produces perseverance in our life so let me give you a couple of thoughts I'll enjoy number one joy is always rooted in God not our circumstances if your joy is based on your own circumstances I will promise you you are just gonna be like the weather forecast your to your kids and your family they're gonna see you leave the house one way then they're gonna see you come back another way they're never gonna know who they get back you think your life is bad go go read the book of her back it let me just show you a few verses up here her back at chapter three verse 17 and 18 though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food everybody says bad day he's having a bad day all right especially when you're you say none of that matters to me well that's because we're not a grarian I mean if we if we're a grarian that now was our commerce in our society this is bad noobs because not only can't do you not have anything to eat a lot of then you don't have anything to trade with you can't buy something you can't gain something you can't go in and walk and do some merchandising so here it is though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls yet I will rejoice in the Lord I will be joyful God of my Savior what is the back of saying listen circumcestances hallelujah but I still get to make a choice I still get to choose how I respond I still get to choose my attitude I still get to choose my life back it says this is all happening by the way this is not theoretical this is real this is in his life and he goes though all those things be true I am still going to make a choice as a man who's not toxic who's not timid but is transformed I am going to choose to be a man that rejoices in the Lord here's it here it is if your joy is always based on your circumstances your joy will always be unstable your joy needs to be in a relationship and it's not a relationship with your kids or your wife because those things go up and down your joy ultimately needs to be in your relationship with God not my circumstances not my bank account not all these other things my joy is going to be based on the fact that I have a relationship with the God who spoke to world and existence God who loved me so much that he sent his son over 2,000 years ago and that's going to be what drives my joy not whether they're sheep in the pen, not whether all of them in the ground are in the trees, not none of that. My choice is to rejoice in the Lord. So number one, joy is always rooted in God, not your circumstance. Here's number two, joy is a choice, not a mood. Joy is a choice, not a mood. Just like love is a choice, and not a feeling, joy is a choice, not a mood. You say where you see that, Philippians chapter four verse four. Here's what Paul says. He says rejoice in the Lord. Everybody say rejoice in the Lord. Young good better than that. Rejoice in the Lord, say it. - Rejoice in the Lord. - That's right. Rejoice in the Lord, it's not accidental. Joy is an accidental, it's something that just show up. It's intentional. Rejoice in the Lord, and he says, I will say it again, rejoice. I love this idea when you think about it. You say why would Paul say rejoice in the Lord, and I'll say it again, rejoice. Why would he do that? Somebody tell me. Huh? - That's right. - Because we have a tendency to forget. Just that simple. He says rejoice in the Lord, and I'll go ahead and say it again, rejoice. Right? Why? Because we have a tendency to be driven by circumstances, not God's relationship with us. And so Paul says, I want to remind you, at the end of the day, rejoice. Now if you read on a few verses later, we're going to look at this, I come August in a series we're going to do. Philippians chapter four verse eight. Right after that, he says, so guys, whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, and then he gets down to that phrase. If there's anything worthy of praise, think about that. Think about that. So he says, how can you rejoice, and again say it's a rejoice, by choosing to focus and look at whatever is true? It's a bad day. But what's true is I'm still breathing. That cost more than I thought I was going to. But it didn't cost me everything. You always have to be doing that. That wasn't good, but my joy is based on something else. And so guys, we've got to make a choice to be joyful and everything that we do. And this ought to be seen, just like love, joy, visible not theoretical. I really thank guys that you and I need to be the kind of people that people see joy in our face, just when we walk in the room, putting a smile on our face. Let there be something different about us when you show up for a sales car or you walk into the office. People ought to look at us and say, you know, there's something unique about that. Remember what, that's what Jesus said about love. This is my command, I'll give you that you love one another. Buy this, all men will know you. Buy your love one another. They should also know you by your joy. So that's what Paul challenges us as men that we need to understand joy is a choice. It's not a mood, a real joy. It's like a daily discipline. What is the area in your life that you are most disciplined in? Is it working out? Is it what you eat? Is it where you're going to work? Is it what time you wake up? Is it, do you have a daily devotion? Just like those disciplines, you and I need to have a discipline of joy. You say, today, this day, regardless of what comes my way, I am going to choose joy over everything else. I am not going to let my circumstances defeat me. I am going to choose joy and I'm going to choose love. And here's your third thought, final thought, when it comes to joy. Joy is strength, not weakness. Joy is always strength and it's never weak. Now you remember the story of Nehemiah. Nehemiah grew up in a day where he didn't grow up in Israel. Came back to Israel, saw that the walls were down. Everything was down. The people were discouraged. The people were unhappy. And so sure enough, Nehemiah comes back, rallies the troops. They rebuild the walls. All right? And they rebuild the walls. The first thing they do when they rebuild the walls is they bring everybody together. All the people together in Ezra, the priest, stands up and go read it. So next time you complain about the length of one of my sermons, this dude preached for four hours. And it says, now, and it says, the people stood. Now you want to hear me preach a long sermon. Just a little, what if I walked in there one day and all the chairs were gone? I said, you're going to stand up today. Four hours, the people stood and listened to Ezra preach. And they're celebrating the walls are up. And I love this. Notice what he says. Nehemiah chapter 8 verse 10. Nehemiah then said, "Go and enjoy food and sweet drinks. And since unto those who have nothing." Let me just stop you there. When God really impacts your life, you're going to be thinking about others not just yourself. And the two things that allow you to think about others and not just yourself the most is that unbreakable core of love and joy. And so Nehemiah says, the walls are up. But the reality of it is, some of y'all have a lot. Some of you have very little. Some of you have a surplus. Some of you don't. And he says, those that have a surplus, don't be selfish with it. Find somebody that needs something and give them something. Man, we need to live with the idea of, we're going to be people and men that man, everybody sees how loving we are. Everybody sees how joyful we are. And then notice what he says. Go back to verse 10. He says, "Go and enjoy food and sweet drinks. And since unto those who have nothing prepared, this day is holy to the Lord." And notice what he says, "Do not grieve for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Joy isn't weakness, guys. It's a spiritual muscle. The more you can learn to be joyful, regardless of what life brings your way, the more you're just truly going to enjoy yourself, your relationships, and your life. Let's pray. God, thank you so much for this day. God, thank you for men who want some grit and want real fruit in their lives. Let's pray that we would leave here today in the loving attitude. So it can be seen and visible, not theoretical in the people's lives we encounter. But let us also, Lord, leave here today understanding and knowing this, that we're going to choose joy, regardless of the circumstances. Jesus, name we pray, Amen, and Amen. Thanks for tuning in to today's Bible Study. For more information regarding Cottonwood Creek, go to CottonwoodCreek.org. We hope you tune in next week for more episodes of Men's Bible Study.