Gracie Kramer on College Gymnastics, Building Confidence, & Launching Athletes After Hours

It crushed me. I'd been preparing for another national championship. I had been preparing for another perfect 10. I'd been preparing, preparing, preparing. And then the second it was gone, I'm like, oh my God, I didn't prepare. Welcome back to Athletes After Hours. I'm your host, Gracie Kramer. I cannot believe that we're here right now, you guys. I have been dying for a girl chat. I've been dying to catch up. I've been dying to tell you all the lore that has happened in the last three months since launching this podcast. It's been such a bitch hiding it from you guys. I can't tell you how hard it's been. I'm an awful secret keeper. So trying to find a way to work around, like not telling you probably the biggest thing that's ever happened in my life was very difficult to say the least, but I am so glad that we're finally here. The cat is out of the bag and you guys get to know all of the lore that is athletes. We have a lot to catch up on, but first and foremost, I wanted to introduce myself for those of you that don't know me or don't really know how I got into athletics or even how I got into social media and now how I've gotten into podcasting. It's so weird. I don't even identify myself as like a podcaster just yet. It's still a weird identity shift, but I'm honored to be here and just glad that we could get this all set up. I actually set up this entire podcast studio by myself today, not to toot my own horn, but very proud of myself for that. And then I also have my best friend Corey here working and monitoring the equipment for me because I honestly got so nervous to do a solo episode. It's new. It's vulnerable. It's different. And when I have a guest, I make it about them. I'm not the star of the show. So to be here by myself, I'm like, oh, scary, but we're going to ease yourself into it and have Corey here so that I feel super, super comfortable. And I'm going to be here for the rest of the show. So I'm going to be, obviously, eventually my producer Wes will be here when I do solo episodes. But for now, it's a girl chat day. Basically, for those of you that don't know, I have been a gymnast now for 20 years. And I felt like after my experience at UCLA competing, I just knew there was conversations that needed to be had. And I think it was something that needed to happen for a long time. When I think back on my career, I wish I had a podcast like this to listen to, to relate to, and to feel seen and heard and understood. And so that's kind of where this all started. But let's start from the beginning. I got into gymnastics because my dad did surgery on a guy who gifted us a trampoline. He works with WSL. So he had a lot of pro surfers coming and staying at our house. And then to say thank you, he bought us a trampoline. And I remember ripping on that thing. My brother and I, went ham. We were playing on that trampoline probably every single day. He brought the deck of his skateboard with no wheels on it and was playing tricks on it, throwing flips with the skateboard. And I remember watching him. And of course, little sister energy, I'm like, I want to try. So I start throwing flips, teaching myself crazy tricks. My mom's watching me while taking care of my baby sister at the time, Julia. And she's like, holy crap, she's going to kill herself. What do we do? I don't know what to put her in. And so they put me in dance for a second, like literally ballet when I was like four years old. It was kind of a joke. And literally, I'm like falling over because I can't pay attention. The teacher probably hates my guts because I am so ADHD. And I just want to yap and play and do cartwheels. So then they ended up finding something a little bit more high energy that drained my energy because I'm one of four children. And when you have a kid bouncing off the walls, you need to find an outlet. So gymnastics was my outlet. And they put me into gymnastics when I was six years old. And I'm pretty sure if I'm correct on the timeline, I got like, on to pre team within the week of joining the gymnastics gym. Like I was Cindy. And the coach was like, Yeah, you're gonna compete. Like, I think you have a potential to go pretty far. So they put me on pre team, I ended up getting into competitions pretty early. And I was at a smaller gym in Orange County. So when I started progressing fast, I kind of outgrew the gym. So I ended up going to a new gym. And then I was at that gym for three years. And then I ended up settling at my favorite home gym, which is like the one that's closest to my heart, wildfire. And that's the gym that I train at a good amount still, which is crazy. Literally, like what 10 years later, like I graduated in 2016. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Anyways. So yeah, still training there. 10 years after graduating from the gym. But they're just their family. I mean, it's a family run business. They're phenomenal. And so having that foundation was so key to taking my career even further and pushing myself to go to college. I did think about the Olympics when I was like 10 years old, because you have to when you're competing in gymnastics, because it's, it's a really grueling sport. And to prepare for that level. And that caliber, you decide pretty early in. And coaches also know the potential that you have pretty early in. So if they want you to train for the Olympics, like, you're pretty good. And I was on like the homeschool team is what they called it. We literally called it age group, because we all had to homeschool in order to train for as many hours as we did. We literally trained from 1pm till nine, eight hours a day. Insanity. And I did that for like, I don't know, like, for two years. And honestly, it was good. Because I was still so bright eyed and bushy tailed. And I love gymnastics. I was like, I couldn't get enough of it. So at the time, it was great. But after two years of doing that, I honestly burnt out I was having to catch up on school. After like practice around 10pm. By the time I drove home and ate, I had to eat dinner in the car. And on top of that, I also had to catch up on schoolwork on the weekends. So I literally had no life. And honestly, for me, and my parents also agreed for me, it was like, passion is my purpose and will forever be my purpose. And if you don't already know this by now, like if you even took a look at my content, or anything that I really do, like passion is my driving force. So I think knowing that about myself and my parents supporting me, we decided that college was the route to take. And it was the best decision I ever made. I remember, like it was yesterday, having to stretch to work on my flexibility at home while watching college gymnastics. It was my bread and butter. I looked forward to it every single day. When I was daydreaming in class, I would draw like my favorite schools logos to like manifest what school to go to. And when I committed to a college, I drew so many Sun Devils because I committed to Arizona State. I literally think I have a whole notebook like filled with Sun Devils and like their logo. And gymnastics and like, I don't even I'm not even an artist. I just like would look at the graphic and I just like tried to copy it. But any who's so yeah, I get into the college scene by getting my first college letter in eighth grade, which is absolutely insane. Like, I think in eighth grade, you don't even know what class you're going to take next year, let alone what college you're going to commit to. But in gymnastics, you had to decide pretty early. And this was back when they were able to recruit as young as I think seventh grade. Now, I think they're going to recruit as young as seventh grade. And I think there's a cap forgive, like, forgive me if I get this wrong. But like, I think it's junior year is when they can start like really actively recruiting you. But that was not the case for me. And it was extremely competitive and honestly, really stressful because I wasn't the best growing up. I rarely rarely I think I actually don't even think I've ever got first place. I was always kind of in the middle. I didn't really apply myself the way that I probably could have because I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Because my attention span wasn't very good. I have crippling ADHD. So and I wasn't medicated. So I think because of that, I wasn't able to focus on the details and really like get into the nitty gritty details of gymnastics. And that's what would have probably given me the edge to be spectacular. And it wasn't until I got older, and I really fell in love with the process of progression. And fine tuning my skills is when I really got better and, you know, was able to achieve 10. But any who's back to Arizona State committed there, you'll find you'll find out more about that in a later episode with Pua Hall. Any who's you can catch all the tea on that episode. But it was really, really exciting at the time when I got the full ride. I was over the moon. College gymnastics was the dream. It was something I'd been looking forward to since I was probably 10 years old. And it didn't pan out the way that I expected. And by expected, I mean, could have never guessed in a minute. But I digress. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was a blessing in disguise because I ended up decommitting a week before my graduation from high school. It was the most stressful experience of my life. I think I broke out in hives like the entire week. I had to go to the nurse every day. Um, but I ended up finally getting noticed by the ucla coach miss val shout out miss v thank you so much for having me on your radar i'm pretty sure jill hicks was the one that connected me to her because they were good friends and jill had done my floor routine back when i was like a level seven and so it was just kind of a weird network thing but basically jill was like i think ucla is looking for a vaulter and at the time i was a really high-ranked vaulter and i was just like okay and they go but there's no full rides left for you which was i mean there were no full rides left anywhere because when you commit so early the rosters fill up really quick so i mean there were only really walk-on spots my junior year let alone the week before my graduation my senior year so it was a bit uh slim pickings but i was able to check my ego at the door and say you know what this is still my dream and if i can finance it i'm going to do it and i'm going to do it and i'm going to do it afford it i am so blessed that my parents could support me through that and um we decided to have me walk on and a lot of people don't know that actually like kind of a fun fact that i was a walk-on all four years at ucla um and i actually i actually have a lot of pride in that i think there's something to say about someone who can see a challenge and choose it anyway and see something that is very scary ahead and and say i'm not going to do it because i'm not going to do it hell yeah and just go for it so that was a really really cool moment for me to build up my confidence and say you know what i'm willing to take on the challenge i'm willing to you know endure a couple hard years to climb my way to the top of the the food chain and get into the lineup and i did i do have a bit of an underdog mentality so i think i thrived in that position and for me it was like hell yeah let's go i think it's one of those things where yeah it was really intimidating my freshman year i was in the same class as kyla ross and madison koshin and felicia hano oh yeah and grace glenn and anna glenn who were both jam national champions like olympians were literally in my class two olympians so coming in as a walk-on kind of being a nobody not being super nationally ranked or really renowned in my sport it was humbling but i think the moment i really recognized my place on the team and and understood where i belonged i thrived and i was able to really like kind of put everything that i wanted to do in motion and charge at my goals head on there is a lot of lore that goes into my college experience so i might have to say that save that for another episode but um i'm like realizing that i can honestly ramble on to you guys for so long so i need to be smart about how much i share so i can save these for more solo episodes if you guys like them but long story short i'm going to be a part of the team and i'm going to be a part of the team and i'm going to be a part of the team and i'm going to be a part of the team and i'm going to be a part of the team and i'm going to be a part of the team and i'm going to be a part of the long story short college was incredible i ended up becoming a three-time all-american got a perfect 10 i won a national championship with my team which was insane and i don't know a lot of other athletes that can say they did that so that was like such a cool moment in my career covid did end my career so that was very unfortunate and honestly it crushed me it's it was very unfortunate and honestly it crushed me it crushed me it crushed me i had to prepare for this i had been preparing for another national championship i had been preparing for another perfect 10 i had been preparing preparing preparing for my gymnastics career and then the second it was gone i'm like oh my god i didn't prepare for life after sport and that's when i realized i needed to figure out who the hell i was so that i could figure out what the hell i wanted to do and at the time i was fully convinced i was going to be a college coach and build a program somewhere i don't know i just loved coaching i knew i was pretty good at it i loved building character i loved helping people and helping humans evolve and so that felt like a really easy position to kind of slip into after competing at such a high level in college athletics so and obviously i was fresh off of ucla gyms so i had everything kind of fresh in my head i was coached by phenomenal you know world-class coaches so i had a lot of their philosophies fresh in my mind and that i could take into my coaching career and when i went to utah state i was a volunteer coach there for a year and i loved the coaching aspect but i didn't love the politics i didn't love all the extra stuff that came along with coaching at a university level um having to worry about their grades having to worry about what they they're doing outside of the gym like partying and boys and i don't know it felt like a lot of bullshit i really didn't want to stress about i just wanted to focus on gymnastics and i think at the time too i was really holding tight onto like that identity and i didn't want to evolve into anything else because i was still so reluctant to move on because of the way things ended with covid you know ending my career so one day after practice i just kind of had this itch to flip and every gymnast knows what it feels like it's just like your body just like wants to do flips it's a really bizarre feeling i don't know how to explain it to other people that don't know gymnastics but maybe other sports can relate but basically i was like oh i really want to flip and i hadn't flipped in literally seven months seven months i hadn't done a flip so i was like maybe let's see if i can like still do my tumbling passes so i start doing like basics you know like round off all of a sudden i'm like i feel really good like let me see if i can do my like actual competitive passes i ended up knocking out a skill routine back to back to back with zero flaws as if i had just done my perfect 10 like the day before it was bizarre my body just knew my muscle memory was so intact i was able to literally replicate my perfect 10 routine without even trying essentially so i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like i kind of want to keep flipping and see how far i can take this like why do i have to retire why do i have to stop just because like it's cringe to keep flipping like i remember battling that in my head of like this was kind of before gymnastics content creation was a thing like thank goodness it's kind of become a trend now and people still do it and people are doing it a lot more now but back when i was coaching like that was not a thing and i just thought to myself why not why not just keep doing it i'll stay in shape and then if i want to do commercial work i want to do stunt work then i'll have the foundation of gymnastics to kind of carry me through and set me up for success with any opportunity that kind of came my way because the worst feeling is when an opportunity comes and then you're like oh i haven't swung bars in nine months i can't do a bar routine for you you know so i kind of that was my thought process with everything so that's how i got into training again and then when i started training um i was like i kind of want to go home and keep training and and get into like the hollywood scene and get into stunt work so when i got into stunt work i was living at home i was driving up to northridge every single day to train in hopes that i would get into the movie industry and be like the next heidi moneymaker which is one of the best stunt women in the industry and she also happens to be a ucla alum so shout out heidi she's a freaking badass i hope one day i can have such a cool person but she really inspired that transition and i remember talking to my old coach miss val on the phone and feeling like i was going to let her down by telling her that i wasn't going to be a coach um and she goes are you kidding flip till you can't you can coach whenever you want you can literally coach till you're 80 if you want so take advantage of how your body feels right now see where you can take it and then if you you know want to retire later you can and you can always fall on coaching and i was like oh you're so freaking right for that like that's actually a really good point so i ended up doing that and really diving in you know head first into the stunt scene got my ass kicked it was brutal i would say try it if you want if you're like really ballsy and have zero fear but like i wouldn't recommend personally because it was kind of traumatizing it was just it was a lot i i also have a tendency to dive you know all in on everything that i do and i think now kind of figuring out how to have balance and not do that um has been really healthy for me but at the time i had zero balance i i literally was grinding i was training at like five in the morning you know driving two hours to train then driving home i barely was eating i just i really wanted to like prove to myself and prove to people that i could like do this thing because i had zero clue what my new identity was going to be and so i was just like chasing this you know approval of others um and then i remember one day just like being covered in bruises having multiple injuries and just thinking to myself who am i doing this for what am i doing this for this is like so dumb i feel like i've proven myself time and time again i've done so much in my career why am i I kind of realized I was just chasing. The next gymnastics career, you know, and and basically kind of trying to replicate that in the stunt industry. And for me, it was like, let's do it differently this time. Let's find balance. Let's do it because we're passionate, not because we want to prove ourselves. Let's do it because we love ourself, not because we hate ourself. And the moment I think that shifted, I felt more empowered and more happy and more balanced than I ever had felt in my whole life. And I realized, too, like with content, I can do whatever I want. I can start randomly making, I don't know, comedy skits. I could, you know, make videos with my friend Corey where we do WWE moves and basically kill each other. Or I can do makeup and hair and feel beautiful and feel feminine. Like, that's the beautiful thing about being a content creator is like whatever you're passionate about, you can tap into. And I think realizing that was super, super cool. And it brought out my creative side. And so after that, I got to have some really cool opportunities. I ended up getting discovered by Red Bull, got to work with Red Bull Cliff Diving on multiple occasions. I've traveled with them the last two seasons now. And it's been amazing. I mean, getting to travel the world and interview extreme athletes. Are you freaking kidding me? And they found me. They found me through my social media. That's the craziest part. They literally messaged me and they were like, hey, we absolutely love your personality on your socials. We think your YouTube videos are sick. Like, we'd love to hop on a call with you. And then literally they hop on a call with me. And then they asked me if my passport was up to date. And they flew me out to Greece two weeks later. Like, absolutely unreal. Wow. The fact that that came from taking a leap of faith and betting on myself and building out my social media and doing it full time was like so much confirmation that this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. And it confirmed alignment for me. And then after doing Sports Swap, Sports Swap is a YouTube series I do. And I swap sports with professional athletes. And it is so freaky. It is so freaking fun. If you haven't seen it yet, go watch them all. There's so many episodes now. I've done pole vaulting. I've done artistic swimming. I've done, oh, my gosh, track with a heptathlete. I just recently tried soccer with a four-time Olympian. Like, what? I even tried rugby and got freaking tackled. Like, it's an insane series, but it's so fun because I basically, long story short, I grew up not doing any other sport except for gymnastics. So I kind of am, like, healing my inner child by doing this series. It's been so freaking fun trying other sports and just getting out of my comfort zone and connecting with these badass athletes. And after multiple different interactions with these professional and Olympic athletes, I realized there was a really common theme. And that was there's a lot more that happens behind the scenes. There is a lot that we as athletes are told to not talk about. There's a lot that we're encouraged to hide, that if we say something, we're not tough, that if we're vulnerable, we're weak. It's so toxic, but that's been the culture of athletics for a long time, at least for my own personal experience. And I was just so fired up to talk to these amazing athletes that I just didn't want to wait any longer for you guys to, like, get to know them on a more personal level. And to connect with them and relate to them, because as intimidating as they may seem from the outside looking in, they're literally just like you and me. They're sometimes just a girl or just a boy. And they just had a dream, and they were determined to get there, and they accomplished that dream. But that doesn't mean that they didn't have struggles and hardships and adversity along the way. And through my own adversity at UCLA that I handled so privately. I realized, like, there are probably thousands, if not tens and hundreds of thousands of people that have the exact same experience as me. And I think looking back on that time, I would have loved to have a platform like Athletes After Hours to go to, to turn to, and rely on for emotional support and relatability. And just feeling seen, heard, and understood. And connected. To know that my favorite athletes and Olympic-level athletes are going through similar things as me, it just, it would have healed a part of me. And it honestly would have made my experience at UCLA probably a lot less painful and a lot less lonely. So that's been the main driving force for launching this podcast. I also just firmly believe that the younger generation is going to benefit so much from here. And I think that's something that I've been hearing these stories and having a safe space to be vulnerable. And hopefully it encourages them to also be vulnerable with their teammates and their friends and their families. Because these conversations need to be heard, but they also need to be had. And I feel like it's 2026, babe. Being vulnerable is not a weakness. And sharing your emotional struggle is not a burden. It actually is. It actually is the fastest way to connect with others. And through my own personal experience, I've noticed how quickly I've been able to form friendships and connections with people because I was brave enough to be vulnerable and share my story. And I just hope that this podcast does that for people. And it gives them an opportunity to share some really vulnerable sides to themselves and give them a voice. Especially in athletics, I feel like. Sports lacks empathy. Everyone is so quick. If you watch a football game or you watch a baseball game, look in the stadium, you look in the crowd. Everyone is so quick to scream at someone who messes up or to judge or criticize or assume the worst. And I just hope that this podcast gives people an opportunity to step into their shoes and see it from a different light and understand you never truly know what someone. Someone is going through behind the scenes. And again, that's what Athletes After Hours is all about. Because if we don't pull back that curtain, people are going to continue to assume. And I really hope the foundation of this community is based on empathy because it is one of the most important qualities when connecting with people and understanding humans as a whole. I don't know. I am just. I really pray that this has a positive impact and that. I at least positively impact one person. I already know that I've been extremely positively impacted. And my best friend, Corey, told me that that is success in itself. That I've been already impacted so much through just the process of interviewing these athletes and creating these stories and creating this safe space for people to be vulnerable. So, a win is a win. Really proud of myself. But, you know, hopefully the next step is to. To just continue to reach more audiences, reach more people, and, yeah, impact more. Leave more of a lasting impression and just give more light to the world. I think the world could use a little more light. And I just hope that this podcast does that for you and does that for the community. I have yapped your guys' freaking ears off. Hopefully I've covered enough for you guys to really get the gist of my background and why I'm interviewing. These athletes and also why I know these athletes personally. I'm just so grateful that I even get to be in the same space as all these amazing people. And now we get to share our interactions with you guys. So, any whoosies, I'm going to stop yapping your ear off and we're going to get into Dear Athlete, which is my favorite little segment that I do here on the show where I answer questions from you guys so that I can offer my advice. I have been through a lot and I'm also a big sister. So, I thought. It's kind of a fun thing to kind of be a big sister for you guys. Let's get into it. First question is, do you have any tips on building your self-confidence? Oh, my God. Do I have tips? I have had to work at this for as long as I can possibly remember. I think probably I've struggled. I think I've struggled with my self-esteem probably since I was 11 years old. I had a little bit of an awkward stage that lasted a lot longer. Then. My peers. And it was humbling to say the least. And it also just like made me feel very self-aware of how I looked. And maybe it was also because I grew up in an area that cared a lot about aesthetics. Like Orange County is known for plastic surgery and people that have money and people loving to flaunt their money. And not that Orange County is a bad place, but it is sometimes a little bit materialistic. And maybe that, I don't know, maybe that played into it, but who knows. The tips that I have for you, just know you're not alone. But some tips that really helped me are, one. reminding myself that everything i say has weight so even if you don't believe it your words have power and your words hold energy and if they're negative they will have negative energy that will ultimately affect you your psyche your soul the way that you view yourself and also your words create your reality so and so basically your words that you say to yourself are your thoughts which then create your reality so one focusing on what verbiage you're using what you're saying to yourself how often you're saying these negative things to yourself i noticed i was beating myself up i was a straight up freaking bully to myself for so long and i never understood why i was so insecure and it was like oh no babe like you actually are kind of a bitch to yourself like you are saying some nasty things and in in my head because i came from gymnastics it was all just critical it was all self-criticism it was all you know this is me trying to get better it's like well no babe if you're ripping yourself to shreds over things you can't control how is that gonna make you any better if i do think it's gonna make you worse like things like me having acne and especially cystitis i remember staring in the mirror sobbing for like hours because my cystic acne was so bad and i was so insecure to even like leave my house you know even having like random insecurities that came from people saying mean things to me i think it was just me lacking my own awareness of my self-worth and not building myself up enough to kind of brush off when people made comments whether that was making comments about my weight or making comments about my skin or my hair or my face whatever like i know it sounds absurd but like people have said some pretty crazy things um and being on social media is not making it better and being on social media is not for the weak like i get comments constantly about how i look and now that i've evolved and i've grown and i've matured i've learned that the way i look is the least interesting thing about me so i think realizing that has given me so much confidence because all it does is remind me of all the really interesting things about me that make me me and make me unique and make me amazing and not feeling weird about loving myself like every single time i'm criticizing myself i have to combat it with a positive thing and so that was actually my new year's resolution this year was for every mean thing i say to myself i have to say three nice things to balance out the skills and it's honestly been a game changer i have never felt more confident in myself and i've never felt more unbothered by my insecurities because i've worked on it so that's a big tip that i have for you but also another one is understanding kind of the root cause of the insecurity because i think a lot of times we have this like noise in our heads that tells us this and that but we actually don't know why we have these thoughts or where they're coming from or again if it came from something or someone and i think that's a big tip that i have for you and if it came from someone it's bullshit they're not your friend they don't love you the way that you need to love yourself and so i think a lot of times we let those words affect us a lot more than we'd like and so recognizing kind of where the root is you can kind of get to the source a lot quicker and you can handle it a lot better but those are my two tips for you for building self confidence but also girly pop i still struggle so sadly there's never like really a fixed solution there's not really like a destination with self-love it's something that you have to consistently work on every day kind of like working out your body you need to work out your mind you need to work out your heart and working on it and being consistent with it is is really the key but let me tell you we've come a long way okay what advice would you have for someone going through a breakup i'm so sorry that you had to go through yours oh my god i wish i had this podcast when i was going through it but also thank god i didn't because i would have been like oh my god i wish i had this podcast been an absolute freaking train wreck i i went through it that was my first ever like real breakup and i understand now why people write such dramatic songs because it is really freaking hard to get through and my biggest advice for getting through a breakup is finding your community leaning on your friends leaning on your family leaning on your loved ones consistently checking in with them because a lot of times we expect people to come to us whether that's because we went through a breakup we're like oh why why are they not calling me i just went through a breakup it's like people of lives lives get busy and also it sucks but nowadays with social media if you're posting like how i had to post people assume i'm great people assume i'm doing amazing but my core center group of people that i keep really close to me are the only ones that truly know what's going on behind the scenes so just going out of your way to check in with you and your family and your family and your family and your family and your family and your friends they're going to check in with you too and obviously don't do it just to like have them check on you but connecting with them and and being vulnerable and being like hey today was actually a shit day i kept thinking about him i wanted to text him so badly i am so hung up on him whatever it is and i think sharing that with a true friend hopefully these friends are true and authentic and and love you and support you if they do find a way to make you feel better whether that's coming over and watching a show with you or supporting you in some capacity because it's hard for people to read your mind it's hard for people to know if you're struggling so just consistently voicing that to people if you are will make such a big difference i mean shit when i went through my breakup i called cory and my mom immediately they both dropped everything that they were doing came over my house and we literally binge watched traders for an entire day we binge watched the whole season it was insane and i was like i'm gonna go to my mom's house and i'm gonna go to my mom's house and i'm saying i think my ass was sore from sitting on that couch but like it was so healing because i would have if i was alone god knows what would happen honestly i would have probably cried for a record number of like 24 hours it was it was brutal so no you're not alone everyone not everyone goes through it but the people have been through it i've been freaking through it and really truly the best way to get out of it is to just consistently pour your love and your energy into the people that deserve it the person that you broke up with or got broken up with doesn't deserve that energy and doesn't deserve that love so take it you have loads of it take it and give it to someone that will hold it near their heart and take really good care of it okay next question how do you deal with feeling like a failure okay i was gonna say not in my household but this is my household actually you guys are in my home so i'm gonna say not in my household but this is my household actually you guys are in my home so in my household the word failure does not exist failure means you're trying if you're not failing you're not trying and i that was actually the best lesson i could have possibly learned in my 20s because that's what 20s is all about is failing and learning and trying and getting out of your comfort zone and doing new things and meeting new people and being uncomfortable being in your 20s it really is and i don't think people talk about enough but i'm here to tell you if you're uncomfy in your 20s you're doing it right uncomfy in a good way that means you're growing it means you're evolving it means that you're consistently pushing yourself to be better than who you were yesterday and to me that speaks way more volume to your character than a win or a loss like who gives a fuck if you're not learning and you're not genuinely committed to getting better you can just win because you got lucky but that doesn't mean anything that doesn't actually help you grow and i think we as a society put way too much emphasis on wins and losses and not enough on growth and progression and pure enjoyment like let's talk sports right because this is athletes after hours let's talk about the fact that here in the u.s we care so much about getting first place in norway i'm norwegian by the way my grandma's from there in norway did you know that you cannot receive a medal until you're 13 years old in sports because it forces you to genuinely develop a love for the sport develop a passion for it and rely on progression to give you the gratification that you need and not a number and not a medal and not a trophy or a title and i think that could not be more special and more powerful in athletics like i wish we as a society did that but i don't think we can do that because we're not ready for it and we're not ready that's phenomenal and honestly such a great idea so if you're a parent try to think of it like that like never ask what place did you get never ask how did you do you just say how was it did you have fun are you still passionate about this if not let's find something else that you're passionate about because the results will come and if you're driven by results great you're probably going to become an olympian i was not able to be driven by results because i never got super high titles and i never achieved you know, the top spot in my age group. So I had to rely on, oh my God, I know I didn't get first today, but I was better than the last meet. I'm really, really proud of my performance. I felt like I really showed off a lot more in my dance. I felt like I really held my landings. I felt way more confident in my body on the floor at this competition. And that's growth. And that's what you should be relying on for the satisfaction of a meet. And I constantly get messages and it honestly kind of breaks my heart. And I wish I could respond to everybody and be like, baby doesn't matter, but I know it matters to a lot of people. And yeah, let me be honest. Like it matters to me too. But I think at the end of the day, like it doesn't. And when I get messages saying, I, I keep getting fifth, like, what do I do? How do I make it? It's just like, did you have fun? Did you grow? Did you connect with your teammates? Did you cheer on your teammates? Did you become a better teammate? Did you become a better student? Did you become a better athlete? In your book, not compared to anyone else. Cause that's the problem is when you're relying on a title, you you're literally comparing yourself to other people. I can't control what Becky over there is doing. I can't control what Alyssa is doing on beam. I can't control what Maddie is doing on floor. I can control though, my reaction. I can control my attitude. I can control my outlook on my life and my perspective on my career. I can control so much when it's just with me, but when I'm focusing on outside and getting first and the medals and the titles and the bullshit, it's like, no, I'm sorry. Now we're focusing on the wrong thing. Long story short, failure does not exist. And I really hope that you learn to reframe that and to cut that out of your vocabulary completely because it does not serve you. It only makes you fearful of taking risks and of trying new things. And that's not what we're doing here. Okay. I was brave enough to launch an entire freaking podcast by myself. So did I worry about failure? Sure. But what is failure? I tried. We're trying. We're out here trying. I think me launching it, that's a win in itself. Okay. I actually feel really good about all the advice I just gave you. I feel like it's going to help give you a little bit of perspective, give you some confidence and hopefully help you tackle your next challenge. And, feel really good about it. I am so proud of myself and I'm so proud of you guys. And I am just so excited for what this podcast is going to continue to do. And hopefully you guys enjoyed this episode. It was very uncomfy. And again, we're trying new things and we're getting out of our comfort zones. It was just weird, like sitting here and talking to myself for an hour. I didn't think I could do it, but also all of my friends were like, are you kidding? You can literally talk to a brick wall, like be freaking. For real. Um, which is super fair. Thank you guys so much for listening. Be sure to tune in every Wednesday to hear more from me and my incredible guests. I am so excited for you guys to see all these episodes. They're so freaking fun and it's going to be one hell of a journey. So lock in, grab your popcorn and let's go. I love you guys so much. Thank you for tuning in. Athletes after hours, and I'll see you next Wednesday. Goodbye. We did it.