Gracie & Keirstin Roose on Softball, Competing with Diabetes, & Life without Sport

A mom actually came up to me in a hotel and she's like you don't know me but this is my daughter she just got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last year and she thought that she wasn't going to be able to play softball ever again and then we found her page and she realized that she can do things at a high level and perform at a high level with type 1 diabetes and you just really helped show her that and now she has dreams of going D1 and I'm like no I was like the mom was crying when she was telling me that and I'm like sitting here like it's 8 a.m. on a Saturday. What are you doing? Today's guest is built a life around sport, strength and chasing the next challenge. Today's guest is a division 1 softball player who competed at Coastal Carolina and the University of Georgia earning all SEC and academic all American awards and hitting an impressive 40 home runs throughout her college career. After college she has recently gone on to play professional softball in the AUSL not only has Kirsten Bill an impressive resume on the field but she's done a great job of expanding her brand beyond athletics. She's a strength and conditioning coach, cross-fitter, creator, traveler, self-proclaimed side-questor like myself and host of the podcast like a girl. She advocates for people living with type 1 diabetes and challenges the idea of what women's bodies are supposed to look like in sports. Today we're talking about body image, fueling for performance, surgeries, the mental side of sports, NIL, and learning how to embrace strength in every sense of the word. Kirsten Rose, welcome to Athletes After Hours. Hey, thank you for having me. I paid her to sail that by the way. It's a period. No, I'm super excited to be here. Really excited for a fun conversation. I know I'm so glad that you made it. We were literally just talking about how she was in the middle of a hiking of a mountain in Arizona and she's like, oh shit, I have a flight in literally two hours. It's real. It did happen, unfortunately. I went from type A to type B so quick after stopping softball. Now I'm type B, I guess. I just go with the flow day by day. No, I love that for you, though. I mean, the fact that you're able to kind of tune, like I don't know, like tune out the world, shut your brain off and like do things that fill your cup. I mean, that's what living your life is all about. Yeah, I don't know if it's overstimulated or if I'm just doing everything great. You're like running away from the identity crisis. Yeah, I mean, who knows what it is, but I'm happy either way. So well, we're going to pack it. So I'm really excited that you could come on and I haven't had a softball player on yet. So you're my first. I love being a pioneer. So excited. And you have the perfect hairstyle too for that. Thank you. I always admire all the softball girlies with their hair. Oh, we admire the gymnastics girls. So that's where I get a lot. Yeah, that's where I get a lot of my inspo. Oh, I love that gymnastics. I have worn my hair like that, actually. And I mean, you guys just often wear it a lot higher than we can because we have helmets. So yes, true. We wear it very high, almost sometimes too high. But we did find out that we're both the team braiders, which I love. Yeah, I love that for us. No wonder why we have such strong arms, actually. I was going to say it's not an easy lie. No, it's not like I didn't make a schedule. I was going to say you have to, like you have to book you. Oh, literally, I was like, babe, what what's the time for you to 38. I can do the next one at 245. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then when I transferred to Georgia, I kind of gatekeep to the fact that I could do hair for a while. Then one person found out and I just became her designated. Okay, there you go. Yeah, I had like my OG like girlies that I was like, like, Sav, I like did notoriously like she was my girl every single meet. But then I had like certain people that would try to pop in after the fact that I'm like, girl, you lost it. Yeah, no, you can't do that. No, you can't do that to me because now I'm stressed out. Yeah, because I got to do my hair too. I got to pencil you in exactly. And then you end up slicking your hair back because you were right another. Yeah, everyone else looks fabulous and you're like half-assed. Your makeup looks like crap and you're like, well, it is what it is. Selfless. But you know what? It's a grind on song heroes about looks. We're we're complaining about having to braid hair. First of all, but it's fine. If you're the team braider though, you know, you know the grind. We feel we feel you. Yeah. Well, I want to jump into a topic that I think you and I are both extremely passionate about. And that is growing up strong. We have a lot to unpack with with this because one, you have a podcast that you've really kind of leaned into this topic about. So I want to hear your take and kind of what inspired your strong advocacy for strong girls. Yeah, I mean, I I've always looked different than the typical girl. Yeah, just because I've I've always been built. And it's like people will ask like, do you do steroids and like how much testosterone do you have? There's always they're trying to attribute it to something. So as a kid, like you also try to attribute it to something and you wonder, oh, why do I look this way? And like, is it weird that I look different than these other girls? And then there's also just different societal norms for how people look and it kind of shapes your view of what beauty is. Yeah. And so that's a really messed up thing to have to like grow up with as a kid. Like, beautiful as being tall, skinny and like, you have like no chub between your legs. Littlely stick then. Yeah, I remember the thigh gaps were so popular. Yeah, now I will never have that traumatized me. Yeah, I don't think I've like, I think I literally had to like pose. No, I would stand in pictures where I like would try to like move my legs out. No, I like these thighs don't have gaps. No, like, this is the biggest thigh gap. They never will. Like, not even in the splits, but like, come on, be so for real. No gaps. So yeah, I remember like that was low-key so traumatizing and seeing like skinny girls too and never seeing anyone else that was strong besides like my teammates, right? And I think like, it's easy to kind of get in your head when you're at school. One, because like, I went to a Catholic school where we had to wear uniforms and skirts. So our thighs were out. Yeah. Constant. And you're sitting. Oh gosh, yeah. And so I'm sitting, writing, staring at my thighs and I'm looking at every other girl who's sitting and I'm looking at their thighs when they sit down and does not look like my thighs. Not like like that. Yeah. And like, I remember like even being like having like, like, pulling my leg. Yeah. So it doesn't do the little smush thing. Yes. I'm literally like pulling my feet up and I'm like, and I like, now I'm talking about it out. I'm like, we're actually insane. Like, I'm not insane. But this is such a common experience. But it's so relatable. Yeah. And I think every athlete one can relate, but I think every woman can relate because like, you're the one percent. If you sit down in your legs, don't look enormous. Yeah. When they're flattened out. Like, come on. Yeah. But yeah, I think there's just in another level when you're in a sport and you don't see a lot of other strong girls. And so then in turn, like, I thought I was fat growing up. So I developed like crippling bias, Morphea. Yeah. Like, I thought I looked like the Hulk next to other girls. Oh, yeah. And then you see a picture for yourself. And you're like, wait, I am bigger than them. Yes. And then you see other girls, like, they start getting attention from boys. Yes. The only attention you got from boys is like, hey, do you want to be my partner and flag football or dodgeball or like, like, it's, like, that's the attention you get on our muscle. Yeah. How many balls can you do? I bet I can do more polps than you. And I'm like, good for you, dude. Yeah. I just, yeah. And so no one's asking me on dates, though. Yeah. And you see that like, everyone who's skinny has like a boyfriend. Yeah. It's like idolized to some degree and glamorized. And yeah, it's, it's, I don't blame those girls. You do you girl. How do you feel? It just sucks when it's like, we are forced to then compare and kind of question why we're not. Yeah. Value the same way. Yeah. Or like, maybe celebrate the same way. Um, then like a really naturally skinny girl. Yeah. And especially like the environment you grow up into. Yeah. Like certain people in my life would just point out this specific type of woman and be like, oh, that's a beautiful woman. And so then your idea of a beautiful woman gets shaped by the people in your life. Yeah. And it's typically only one type of woman. And yeah. Like, obviously, now I'm older and like, I think all types of women are beautiful. Like it's beauty is just such a social norm and just a society thing. Like, who's to say, like, this is beautiful? You know, yeah. I mean, look at like, look at like Asian culture versus our culture. We want to be tan. Yeah. People literally get spray tans and drop thousands of dollars on spray tans. And then you see Asian women hiding their skin because they don't want to be. Yeah. It's just like culturally. It's like, how do we fit into these societal norms? Then you start realizing as you get older, like, dude, if this, I don't want to fit into anybody's norm, like, I want to be confident in the skin that I'm in. And I want to build my own norm. And I feel like we've done a really good job of like using our platforms to encourage that norm of just being like strong as beautiful. I think it's so much more interesting to be able to be capable to do something. Yeah. And functional versus stick than an out of breath going up five flights of stairs. Yeah. It's your mind just kind of shapes more of what your body can do instead of how it looks. And it's like a really hard thing to swallow. Oh my gosh. It's such a hard mind shift. I mean, you probably agree. It doesn't always stay that way too. No. Like, it's a constant battle to have to deal with body dysmorphia. Like, everyone has it. Even the prettiest people, even the tall thin people we're talking about, like, everyone has body dysmorphia in some way. And it's this, it sucks because you don't want it. And you could, you could look perfect other people, but you're always going to criticize yourself. And that's just such a big thing, especially in sports. Oh my god. You're constantly comparing yourself to other people. And I mean, You're a gymnast, so you guys are in Lea Tards. Like I can't even imagine the amount of comparison to other gymnasts. - Well yeah, and your sport's like, hey, you have to be perfect. - Yeah. - And then you don't really know what perfect is because it's not cut and dry, it's very subjective. So then it's like, it's not like a goal, right? Where it's like, okay, you make, you make a goal on the soccer field, that's a point. - Yeah. - It's like to get a perfect 10 in your head when you're twisted and you have like all these insecurities and you have all these things that you're trying to like work through as a young adult and you're impressionable and you're, you know, easily influenced. It's like, well, what's perfect looks like? And in my head, I got so obsessed. Like I was like, I need to be strict with what I eat. I need to be strict with where I work out, how I work out, what workouts I'm doing. I need to be strict with how often I'm stretching. I was stretching before bed every night. - Oh wow. Like for like an hour, because I was like, my problem is I'm not flexible and it's making my gymnastics bad. So like I need to work on that. And so that was something that like I took to an extreme and even like my makeup. I remember spending like hundreds of dollars on makeup that I was probably gonna sweat off anyways. - Yeah. - Just to look perfect, to fit into what I thought the judges were looking for. - Yeah. - And there is no real like book on what they're really looking for. - Yeah. - And it's like easy to also be like, oh if I'm fat, like are they gonna judge me harsher? - Yeah. And no one will ever come out and say it. - But sometimes, but is it true? - Is it true? You know, it's all subjective so it's tough to know. But like how do you feel like being in softball is kind of shaped your perception of your body and your body image? - I'd say softball, we kind of have it good in that regard, because there's not one body type for softball. - Yes. - There's a whole spectrum of body types with softball and it's really cool to see what different bodies can do and how you can really lean into different strengths with different body types. And so there's that, but there's-- - And there's different positions, right? - And there's different positions. - You need a certain body type, it's kind of like football where it's like you need some body types for different positions, correct? - Yeah. - But then, there'll also be outliers, so it's never cut and dry with softball, so I think that helps, but also it's just we're all female athletes and we're all changing in the locker room and we're all wearing tight pants and-- - Those pants are tight. - Everyone wants to have a big butt and everyone wants to have, I mean, I don't know if everyone wants to have little legs, but like-- - To show me, yeah, I mean, I love these guys. - Yeah, but like it's a constant battle, no matter I think what sport you're in, I feel like gymnastics is probably one of the bigger ones just because of the uniform. - Yeah. - Like it's gotta be so-- - It's very vulnerable. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's vulnerable. - And being on TV and for some reason, nowadays with social media, people think it's okay to talk about your body. - Oh my God. - Far more than it ever was. - Yeah. - And it's just like the more and more I'm online, I go on like blocking sprays. Like this second, you talk on my body, your blocked bed. - Oh, yeah. - Like I think it's so disrespectful. - Where do people find the audacity? - I don't know. - Imagine going up to somebody and just reloading about their body. - Yeah, imagine being like, I don't like the way your legs look. To their face, no one will do it. - It's crazy. Or it's like even like reverses. Like when we were talking about like the most outrageous things that people say to us, just like on the street, God forbid a girl wears a tank top. - Oh my God. - People are like, oh my God, how much do you lift? How many push ups can you do? Imagine if I said that to a skinny girl and was like, do you get tired when you were young? - Yeah. - Do you want me to eat? Like it's like, or if I said that to a man, like have you ever hit calves before my guy? - Have you ever done like day? - That's what I'm saying. Like why is it okay if it's one way? - Yeah. - But then it's not okay if it's the other way. When like we, I don't think people understand and maybe this might sound like a pick me thing, but like I don't think there's ever like an ideal body type and I think the more people draw attention to body types or things about someone's body, the more it actually makes you insecure. - Oh, absolutely. - Like why are you talking about it? And you don't need to talk, like what if God forbid, I'm like mad and secure about something and you keep bringing it up thinking that you're celebrating me? But I don't know, can we celebrate something else? - Yeah, like we are way more than our bodies. - Yes. - And it's really hard to shift out of that mindset, especially growing up when like bodies were just praised. And it's like even getting introduced to my new job, I'm like now a performance coach for this new club. I was kind of introduced as, oh she's the influencer who has like some follower, so it'll be good publicity for the club. I'm like dude, I have like three degrees and I have so much to offer other than-- - A following? - A following? I think, like I honestly think my following is the least interesting part about me. Why would you have that as the-- - The forefront. - The selling factor, like it's, and I think that's the same thing with your body. - Yeah. - Okay, it's great, like hone it in. And if you want a goal and you want to chase a goal and you want to look a certain way, like do it, but as long as it's in a healthy way, it's for you, not for the ideal body standard that society has told us, this is beautiful. - Yeah. And I think what I've also talked about too with certain people where it's like going up to somebody and being like, oh my god, you look amazing. Like you look so good. God forbid, that girl's not doing it in a healthy way. Do you mean? - And then it's really-- - Like now you're celebrating, exactly. You're celebrating something that's extremely toxic and that's very, very harmful to someone's health. And I just think it's-- I think we just need to graduate from it and I'm subscribed to be honest. But I love what you said about how it's like the most uninteresting thing about you because it's like, there are so many things now that I've noticed that like society's putting on a pedestal that we like have lost the plan. - Yeah. - Like I heard recently, like there was a girl that was, she's a teacher and she was telling me that all the first students want to be influencers. - Wow. - Not even they want to be influencers, they want to go viral and then just make a bunch of money. - It's so interesting that that's the goal. 'Cause usually that's-- - Is that so sad? - That's like a sub-product or a by-product of usually a goal. - Usually that you do that's interesting or you work hard for whatever. - If you're passionate about something and then it shows through, I think of Instagram as like a portfolio. - I think of that as well. - It's like my digital portfolio. - Or like my resume. - Yeah. - And this is me showing up through that. Obviously there's gonna be the glamour. There's always a glamour with Instagram no matter how authentic you try to be. Like it's always highly real. - Yeah. - But that's crazy that that's like-- - It's not wild. - Yeah. - I think it's like the YouTubers era where it's like these kids are watching YouTube. They see Mr. Beast making a hundred million dollars or whatever and like they see the glamourized side of what like that life could look like. - Yeah. - But it's just like we've lost the entire idea of what life is about. I think. - Yeah. - Like we can go so deep about this. But like I actually talk about it for days. - I'm like, we, GLP once. - Oh. - We're losing the entire incredible meaningful process of what it means to lose weight. - Yeah. - You will not ever benefit from weight loss if you didn't work hard for it. - It's, there's something to be said. - But unless obviously if you're like, in a very unhealthy place. - I think GLP once for the right population are super beneficial. - Yes. - But there is something to be said for working out and just the mental process of reaching your goals. - Yeah. - 10 times more satisfying than something that was just handed to you. - 100%. - Yeah, we're talking about that with money. - Yeah. - It's the same thing. It's like there's so many things in life that I think because we have so much access to it now, we've forgotten the meaning behind it and the lessons that come from it. And like when you work out with a goal in mind to be healthier, to feel like you have longevity in your life, to be able to pick up your kids comfortably, to be able to sit on an airplane comfortably. Like I think those are all incredible goals that you can work hard towards and also develop really great characteristics from that process. - Yeah, and then you take a lot of pride in it too. - Yeah, and you won't revert back to old ways either because you put so much work in to reach that goal. - Yeah, it's easy to have like imposter syndrome when you didn't work for it. - Yeah, I've had, but I've had imposter syndrome when I've worked hard for things. So there's a difference, but I think it's a lot easier when something was just handed to you and you're like, do I deserve this? - Yeah. - You, if you're truly working hard for something and this is like your end goal and you finally hit it, there's so much pride in yourself and not like a overbearing cockiness. - No, never. - It's just, you worked hard for it. - You worked hard for it and it's just so fulfilling to be able to reach a goal. - Yeah. - And then I mean, I'm sure you feel the same way. Like in a good way, never being satisfied. Like there's always another goal to be had. - You develop a growth mindset. - Yeah. - You develop the ability to have neuroplasticity. Yeah. And understand that there's so much more of yourself to be discovered. Yeah. And to evolve. And it's like you think about the people that you surround yourself with. And I think you do a really good job of that because you're very mature for your age. But it's like you are who you surround yourself with. Absolutely. And when you surround yourself with people that are like minded who have a growth mindset that have neuroplasticity and want to evolve, you're then inspired to do the exact same thing. And then maybe you guys can come together and achieve a great goal together. Like we were talking about running a marathon. I wouldn't want to run a marathon if it was going to isolate me. I want to do it if I'm surrounded by people that are doing it with me that want to push me, inspire me. And then I could do the same for them. And I think it, again, it's like with social media and with all these like instant gratification things. Yeah. We're losing the community. We're losing the depth. We're losing the true value of what life is all about. Yeah. And yeah, I just feel like, oh, I could go off on a whole tangent. But I just, it's so sad. And I hope that these conversations and people that continue to keep talking about the benefits of like just daily movement. And like the benefits of moving daily for your 80 year old self. Yes. Because like GLP ones can't get you that bit. No. And a lot of people don't do this supplemental strength and conditioning that helped GLP one like success. Yeah. Because yeah, you lose all this weight. And there's so much science to show that it is extremely effective. But people's like bone mineral density. And there's so much that gets affected by it. The osteoporosis. Yeah. Is so gnarly. It's so scary. Like it's, it's like actually so sketchy. Like my dad was even saying like the higher likelihood, like the, the probability of you developing osteoporosis and later in your life from just not even like lifting weights. Yeah. Forget GLP ones. Yeah. Just not lifting weights, not doing any high impact. Yeah. Work out or movement. It's like the craziest stats. Like if you're ever curious about go look it up. Like I don't know what to tell you. I don't know all the stats. I don't want to say anything that's not true. But I've heard insane stories about the really detrimental effects of taking weight loss drugs without knowing one how your body's going to respond. But to like how to prevent things like osteoporosis. I heard people are even going blind. Oh my gosh. I mean, yeah. There's, there's so many extremes. But to the, the point of that there's kind of a metaphor to be said with. I mean, bones are built and bones grow through stress. Like the muscle pulling on the bone is what actually like helps the density of the bone. Yeah. And that is achieved through strength and conditioning. So I think that can be kind of like a metaphor for life because without stress, you don't really get better. And without hard things, it is really hard to grow. You don't just get better from constantly succeeding. There's nowhere to grow if you're just already at 100% success. And I think when you can look at it that way where it's, it's, and you can grow from this instead. Oh, I failed. And I'm at this rock bottom. No, there's so much to achieve. Yeah. You can, that's the best part about being at rock bottom. It's exciting. Yeah. There's only one way to go. And it's up. And I think doing hard things and sometimes intentionally, sometimes it's just the, you know, the card's life dealt. But you can kind of look at it that way as it's, it's going to help you in some way if you choose to look at it that way. Yeah. You can just sit there and like let it affect you and just play the character entire personality. Yeah. Gosh. Yeah. Don't get me started. Or you can again, yeah. She's been here for a little bit. We've been yapping about things. And I'm like, we talked about the victim mentality. It is literally like the most toxic thing you could possibly have as a person because it literally limits your growth like 100. But I couldn't agree more. I think there's something so beautiful in not reaching your full potential because that means that you even have more potential to grow. And also like we always say, well, I always say this. I can't say weeks. I don't even have anybody I live with. Like we don't have failure in this household. Hey, we don't. Failure's not a word. Yeah. It's household. Because failure means that you tried. Yeah. And to me, that's a win. Exactly. You tried. You're actually 10 steps ahead of somebody who was too scared to try. Yeah, you stepped into the arena. That's the hardest thing to do sometimes. That is the hardest thing to do sometimes. And honestly, there's so many times where you step into that role. And then you're like, oh my god, this person isn't even that hard. Yeah. Like it's getting there. It's doing there. It's just getting into the card. Yeah. Or whatever it may be. It's putting the foot forward. That's the hard part. Yeah. And even like with weight loss, it's just like just go walk outside for a day. Yeah. And then do it twice a day or do it once a week or do it every day and see what happens. Yeah. And it's like there, there's a domino effect body bodies. I think people as a whole like they crave momentum for sure and routine and structure. And it's like when you give yourself a little bit of structure and a little bit of momentum, you're like, oh, I can walk 10 minutes. And then you're next to you. You know, you're walking 30 minutes. Yeah. Next thing you know, you're walk for an hour because you call a friend and you're gaping. And maybe you're listening to a really good podcast called athletes after hours. I don't know. But like that one. It's pretty good. It's put a day. Yeah. I know my mom does that. She's like, I already know that Wednesdays are my long walk days because I always listen to athletes after periods. That's a good mom right there. That's good mom. No, but like the whole you who used to run yourself with truly does matter. And I was talking to my friend who's an Ironman and her Iron woman period. She's like a badass. Hell yeah. And it is so inspiring to me to see all that she can achieve. And it's so interesting when we'll talk about our friendships and how as a strong woman, sometimes other women can be intimidated by either your achievements or even just your physical strength or it's you can tell they're a little bit intimidated. And it's really important to have friends who truly want you to succeed. Yeah. And who aren't like slightly jealous of you. Yeah. Because I mean, me and her weren't completely different realms and just completely different things. But we both appreciate what each other does. Yeah. And it's just this cool, we just fuel each other so much in respect. And then when you can get that and for people trying to lose weight, like accountability, if you can have an accountability partner. Yeah. Who truly wants the best for you. And you truly want the best for them. Yeah. Like that is the best way to go about it because communities everything. Like it's the connections that really make life worth living. And you don't get those by just sitting on your couch. 100% have some common goals surround yourself with good people because you know, we were talking about energy vampires earlier. And you don't realize how toxic people can be until you separate yourself from the situation. You're like, wow. Yeah. That's really bad. You don't want to surround yourself with people like that. Energy is so precious these days. And I think when you see someone like your friend who can do an Iron Man, you're like, there's no way she's putting up a toxic shit. Yeah. How could one even do an Iron Man when you have BS weighing you down? You know, it's like when you realize that and you're like, oh, there's like toxic things that are pulling me down that are holding me from my goals and my dreams and my achievements that I really want to accomplish before I die. Then it's not that deep. Really easy to drop. It's real easy to cut that shit. Yeah. Because at the end of the day, again, it's not that deep. And I think there's a really important way to go about things. Again, like cutting out toxic people are like just going separate ways from people that may not maybe be like, you're naturally or authentically rooting for you or in your corner. And that's okay. Yeah. Like I'm insecure about certain things as well. But at the end of the day, like we all have to be respectful and understand like sometimes you outgrow people and you grow from your experiences and sometimes those people don't get to come with you. Yeah. And that's okay. Wish you the best. That's a really hard thing to kind of wrap your head around sometimes because like you can truly see people and like, oh, you're you're a good person. But not everyone is everyone's cup of tea. Yes. And that's okay. Like I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Like I'm over here saying like, I have to surround myself with good people. Well, maybe someone who I kind of pushed out of my circle has to surround themselves with good people too. And they don't see me being in that circle. Yeah. That's just how life works. And it's okay to make those decisions. And I think that's really hard, especially as a woman, you, I'm a people pleaser. Yeah. And I just want everyone to be okay. And I want to feel liked by everyone. And that's been a big thing to try to like contradict in my life, not not necessarily contradict, but like worth with in limit to because I can. Yes, boundaries. Well, you can always call me because I'm very good at that now. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I still am a people pleaser for sure. Like I just I don't like, I guess like I want to be easy to work with. I want to make sure everyone's happy. And like I want to make sure that the vibes are good. But then at the end of the day, like you do have to set boundaries of just like, okay, is this for them or is this for me? Yeah. And like when it's again, like hurting you or it's just no longer serving you, not that deep things, you know, sometimes just don't work, but you have to be willing to put yourself first. Yeah. And I think right now being 23, like you do have to kind of enter into a very like selfish headspace. And I remember when I first graduated, it was a really difficult thing for me to do. 'cause I came from a team. - Yeah. - I mean, obviously my gymnastics career before college was individual to some degree. But wildfire in my old club did a really good job of making it feel like it was a team and feel like it was like college to kind of gear us up for that. But like when you're on a team with 20 plus girls, like you don't think about yourself that much. - Well, you think about how you can serve. - Yeah. - You're one of many and you wanna be a team player and you wanna find your role and serve everyone in that role. And I think when you graduate and you're forced to kind of look in the mirror and you look around and you're like where the hell did everybody go? - Yeah. - It's a bit daunting, it's a bit scary. But I think it's also like we said, when you have that growth mindset, it's exciting. It's like cool, it's a clean slate. Now who do I get to choose to be on my team? - Yeah, 'cause when you're on a team, you don't really choose who you hang out with. - You don't get to choose. - And so you hang out with the team whether you like it or not. - Yeah. - And I mean, I've been blessed with some really good team. So I'm not like not complaining but I've seen some really toxic situations because people have to stay in it. Like you can't leave the locker room until you're allowed to. And so you're forced into these groups of people. And so like now, I mean, I'm at a phase of my life where I get to choose who I wanna hang out with. And it is fun. It's fun to meet people and also just like grow connections in a way that you don't really put yourself out there as much as an athlete because you're so busy. And you already have your group of friends because you're on the team and it's who you know, it's what you know and you don't really have time to do anything else. And now I'm having time, that's so false. I don't have time to do anything. (laughs) But I'm making friends still. - Yeah, through all the activities and the side quests. - Of course. - I know, I feel like I've attracted so many awesome friends from even like work. - Yeah. - And there's so many times where I catch myself and I'm like, when people ask me like, you know, what are you up to, how are you doing? And like the only thing I'm listening off is things that are in affiliation with my work. And I'm like, oh my God, am I a workaholic? Like, but I love what I do, so it doesn't really. - It's not work. - Yeah. Like I'm not talking about like all the editing and stuff, you know, like that's work. - That's definitely work. - But I'm like, when I feel like a sports swap with a friend, like that's fun. And I get to like, essentially trauma bond with people because they get to like try my sport and I try theirs and like we're very vulnerable. - Absolutely. - And you know, we're put in very uncomfortable positions, but I think yeah, there's something really beautiful to say about like when you're doing what you love, you attract some really great people. - Yeah. - And I'm excited to see that for you. Like you're stepping into such a new role. Like obviously you just graduated from Georgia, you're now entering into like, pro softball, hopefully pro softball part two. - And maybe we'll see. - We're finding out soon. - Okay. - Everyone cross your fingers. - Yeah, cross your fingers, cross your toes. 'Cause it's everything. - I could not believe that that's like, they don't update you on the roster until like, a few months before. - Yeah. Well, our season is June to like August, beginning of August. - Okay. - And then there's all star cup. And this season I was kind of, I was a reserve. So I just hopped up to different teams and I hopped up to like, three different teams and there's only six teams in the league. - Oh my gosh. - And so that, I don't know that I would want to be a reserve. Again. - That's stressful. - Because I wouldn't be training with my team. I trained the whole season with Georgia, played the whole season with Georgia. So it was easy to transition into pro. - Well, especially with a sport like that where it's chemistry, like really chemistry heavy. - Well, honestly, it's like the skill work that's involved in softball. Like that's why people can have any body type because it's a skill sport. And it's not necessary. Like I, I'm very muscular, but like, that can only take you so far if you don't have any skills. And so like the live pitching component, you can't replicate that. And so like if I'm gonna train for softball, I'm gonna go all in. - Yeah. - But I don't want to do that for being a reserve, like for the chance to play because I did that and it was so much fun and I had such a great summer. - You're like a floater. - But I don't want to be a floater. It's like, if I'm playing, I'm gonna play, if I'm not, I'm not. And then, I mean, what happens next, happens next, but I have a new work gig lined up and I'm excited about it. So all is working out. - Yeah. - I wanna say, I think what's so nice for people like you who have so many other things outside of your sport, not continuing with softball isn't the end of the world. - No. It's like-- - I've been preparing for this moment my entire life 'cause there really wasn't like a pro league for softball. So I knew after college it was kind of it, but now that there's a pro league, like that's super exciting. - Oh, I know it's that new. - It's, there were pro leagues, but this is like the first established league. - Well, they're like paying, or they're actually paying athletes. - A proper salary. - Yes, yes, yes. So like I'm just super grateful. Like it's like anything in addition to college at this point is a supplement. It's just awesome to be able to continue to do it. So we'll see where life takes me. I'm not making any commitments or non-commitments right now, but it's gonna be interesting. It is interesting, the timing of it all and the back and forth of it all, you just never really know. - Yeah. - But from where it was 10 years ago, to basically non-existent and out. It's amazing, the growth of the sport and just actually having funding and just so grateful, you know? - Women and sports are having their moments. It's about time. - It's about time. - It's about time. I'm so excited for you. That's really exciting. I think it's cool that you just get to see all so like your teammates and like your friends like thrive as well and like get to do a sport that they love. If their bodies can do it, it's like, why not? Like why not continue your career? - And the age of some of the women playing, I was playing with or against some of the people I grew up watching in softball. So my idol, I was like, I was playing next to my idol when I was on one of the teams and like this is insane. Like I watched her when she was in college and I was like 11 or 12. - So was she like 30? - Yeah, she actually just retired that year. And so like whoa, and it's also expanding the ceiling for softball because no one really knew how old you could be in play softball. I was just gonna ask you. - Because no one tested the ceiling. - Yeah. - And like women are so powerful. And we don't really peak until I think the numbers like around 25 at that. Obviously it's different for everyone. So the fact that we haven't even been able to test our peak because there hasn't been that post college exposure. So it's like, it's really cool to see the growth of the sport and like how far people are taking it. - I never thought of it like that. - And I guess too, like what's interesting is, I mean obviously with gymnastics, we always said like your peak is 18. And like I peaked when I was, I mean I don't think I would have peaked as early if COVID didn't hit. I'm really like curious how I would have been if I was you know in it for another year or anything like that. But even then it's like you think okay, well once college is done then you retire. That's like the norm. And then instead I like decided not to. And I was like well, I don't have to. And I like doing this and this is fun. And I got better as I got older. - I'm saying. - Because I had more confidence in my body. I knew more, I was so much more knowledgeable in like the science behind what creates a great athlete. And so I am super curious to see where female sports goes because like you see baseball players who were in their 40s. - Oh, absolutely. And it's the same sport. - It's the same sport. So who's to say we can't do it? - Exactly. - Maybe I'll be 40 still for like a period. - I can't even imagine. - Well, have you back on the pod? - Yeah, when I'm 40. (laughing) Oh, it's so far away. - Wow. - But I mean it's so cool. Yeah, like we just interviewed, I don't even say Joss, we interviewed her a few months ago. But Rachel Entrican, she did the 250, the coconut 250 in Arizona. She ran 250 miles, this girl's 32. - It's so inspiring. - And I'm like, and she was saying that a lot of times like women in endurance sports thrive, over men. - Oh yeah. - And I think women are built differently. - Yeah. - Biologically for endurance. - There's so many biological factors that like, I don't quite remember. - Maybe because we're like gathersers. - I think it's 'cause we're just superior. - No. - Yeah. - Yeah, no. But there are biological factors where like longevity or endurance women actually are better in some capacities. - But when we're allowed to run marathons until like, not that long ago. - I think they were afraid of what would happen. - No, we literally weren't allowed. They were pulling the first woman in the marathon off. Oh, you're afraid, yeah, that we were gonna beat 'em. - Yeah. - Oh, 100%. - They were afraid. - Uh-huh. - They wanna limit us. - But we can't because we're strong. - Yeah, and we break the ceiling. - That part. - Right through the glass ceiling. (laughs) - Well, I wanna run back to your Georgia experience. You went from Carolina, a smaller school, Coastal Carolina, to Georgia, which is a massive SEC. - Yeah. - Big house, very intimidating. How is that transition like for you and what inspired it? - It was definitely a big transition as far as just the physical transition of it all. Like it's, I think there were like 10,000 students at Coastal. - Oh my god. - And I don't even know how many at Georgia. It's huge school. - Yeah. - And I loved my time at Coastal. And I loved the people and the place. It was like right on the beach. It was so awesome. And so like, I'm actually very thankful that I had that experience. - Yeah. - And it was such a good experience too. I ended up transferring after like four years playing at Coastal because I already got two degrees and I had no other school to do. And I had shoulder surgery, so I read Shirted. And so I got a fifth year. And it was like my, my year to kind of see where I could go and what I could do and I entered the portal in October. I was in the portal art my entire season which is like kind of an odd thing. People don't usually do that. Yeah it was a really weird thing. And you played really well. Oh yeah it was it was I'm really glad I looked at it this way. I took the pressure of trying to transfer somewhere big off my plate and I was like this is my senior year and I just want to enjoy it. I just want to enjoy my senior year. It's a victory lap. What happens happens but I was going on visits on like off days. Okay I would drive to this school and drive to that school and so I was in the portal the entire season. My coaches were so supportive of me because they knew I didn't have anything to do at coastal and they wanted to see how far I could go to so they would like help contact other coaches and stuff for me. Super grateful for that. But anyway I was about to commit to this one school and then I the Georgia coach contacted my coach at the time and was like hey like we see she's in the portal which you want to come on a visitor. Like what do you what can you tell me about her whatever a lot of story short end up being like you know yeah I'll go on a visit even though I'm gonna commit to this school. I'll just go because it's free you know I'll go see an SEC school and like yeah see I've heard the facilities are awesome and it's they're a good team or whatever and then I went and I like fell in love with it and like it was more so a vibe thing like all the facility and stuff yeah we're awesome but I went in thinking that I wasn't gonna switch my thought process and I thought I was going to this other school and then I drove back from Georgia's five-hour drive and I didn't have any music on it I just sat there I'm like dang I might I might be going to Georgia and I had asked so many people their opinions and your people please yourself was probably because I was basically committed to them and I had told the other school that like yeah I'm all yeah and I don't like breaking like promises yeah this is my word I want to stand by it yeah I'm the same way that was the hardest thing was to like call them and be like because they even called me before my Georgia visit they knew I was going on the visit and they're like that each of their coaches call me for a different time and they're like we know you're going on the visit and their facilities are a lot better than ours it's the only area we can't compete in just want to let you know and I'm like yeah like you know I I can see through shiny things like it's it's not going to be a shiny thing that affects me but I didn't know how to tell them that like I just got a better vibe from Georgia and I'm so glad that I made the transfer like I had the best second last year ever because I thought my other last year was my last year and I'm just the the facilities the fuel like we got so much food I like a celebrity again like 10 pounds at Georgia but just muscle because that we're actually eating protein yeah and it's just awesome and yeah the SEC outreach like I have so much more of a platform yeah the network the access to like the alumni yeah yeah it's just top tier I mean like even right now like where I just got invited to do like um they're putting together like a brewing athlete alumni event where we're gonna like all meet up and like go out and like have an event and then like go out after yeah and then also go to the the football game the next day and I'm like how cool that like I'm gonna get access to every athlete that's ever been through UCLA and UCLA is like hooded go to go to go to so many good athletes 20 you see in my world I'm like that's networking on crack like of course I'm gonna go yeah yeah if you didn't go no brain edging so literally I'm like you can just be I'll go for you yeah yeah yeah I'll straighten my hair yeah perfect but yeah no I think there's something to say about when you are picking a college I think for anyone listening that's on the fence of like where do I want to go like that's a really good thing to come and think about you know like take into consideration of just like if I didn't do a sport what would it feel like if I did do a sport what would that do for me and like I love that you did it because you felt the vibe not because you were chasing a check yeah yeah no I didn't get paid anything to go to Georgia I mean I got a scholarship which was great but you had a scholarship so it wasn't any different I didn't but the thing was I didn't expect anything because there's also a little bit of imposter syndrome going from a small school to SEC where it's like I had it so much oh my gosh the first half of the season where I was playing second and I was like I don't belong here because I I made some errors early on where I really got in my head about it and no one else thought deeply of it but it was just it dragged on for so long and I was like I don't think I belong here like they're probably wondering why they've even brought me here and like like I continue to play second like it wasn't that big of a deal but it was such a big deal to me because I just let it and then I was like you know it's pressuring yourself yeah but there was a turning point I actually talked to Chris a lot about it yeah and just like we we say I'm where I belong like I W I B I love that it's just realizing like no you you've worked so hard to get to where you are yeah and everyone makes mistakes it doesn't define you and you are where you belong no matter if you're on a big stage or a little stage everything happens for a reason yeah I didn't just like sneak my way onto the big stage stumble upon it didn't just happen no and they didn't offer you money yeah like they didn't pay for your schooling for nothing yeah yeah yeah and you you belong there you deserve to be there just as much as anyone else yeah it took me a little long to realize like I wish I figured it out sooner but there was a certain point where I'm like okay now I can carry myself a confidence and I can like I I am meant to be here because like what does that even look like it looks different for everyone yeah so who might have like take myself off the stage yeah so there's just kind of a annoying part of my season but I've grown so much from it and just I think that's what sports do for you they they help give you the confidence that you can do anything because I mean we do so much as athletes and we have to deal with so much and just juggling all the things we do like it's helps me go into life where I I don't have to worry about what I'm doing next because I know whatever it's gonna be like I'm gonna do everything I can to be good at it yeah it's as long as I like it like we'll be fine 100 percent I think two a lot of people just put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect and all it does is just make you worse yeah like I could not relate more because I crumbled under the pressure my freshman year I had the worst imposter syndrome I walked on to one of the biggest gymnastics programs in the country I was only recruited for vault so then when a vault turned to shit I was like I really don't belong here like I was literally brought on for one thing imagine like being brought on for literally like I want to know what the equivalent of that is but like because you're a good hitter and then all of a sudden you get hit yeah literally just hitting and then you get the yips yeah I literally got a mental block because I was so like I crumbled so much under the pressure that I had built up in my own head like there was no pressure I didn't have to get pressure I just chose to feel pressure and I ended up like completely just cutting off vault and just going to floor because I'm like I need a mental reset I'm clearly built this up to be like this huge thing and I couldn't even get back to vaulting the way that I wanted to vault until my junior year wow so don't be yourself up your girls been there and mine was worse Loki yeah yeah I ain't it like affected my performance like a lot absolutely yeah it's crazy what I took my line up and stuff yeah it's our minds are so powerful so powerful and we can let them be powerful in a negative way yeah them to or not even if we want them to have the time we don't every time we don't want to be the way we're feeling but it's like what do you want more do you want to just sit here in pity or are we gonna fix it and sometimes that's finding the right resources for it and sometimes you don't always have those resources but I think schools are now understanding the importance more and bringing people on and yeah I think it's like a team should say utilize it yes absolutely like even if you think you're in the best headspace ever utilize a sports bike why would you not one extra edge oh my gosh there that was the thing with Georgia all the resources we had yeah oh my gosh I stoked every resource because I'm like when in life am I gonna get this again for free for free never never you have to like go to therapy after the fact and you're like this is actually super expensive and we got free therapy yeah we had this thing called caps where it was literally free therapy for any student crazy yeah or maybe not for every student I think it was just for the athletes I don't know but when people come in and talk you know you take it for granted when yeah like you're like oh we have to be here at 8 pm on a school night like I don't want to be here but then I mean I think as an upper class and I just I really appreciate it whenever someone would come in and give us their time and truly listening to the message they had to say like people don't bring people in just for kicks and giggles like yeah it's it's for a reason and there's a lot of resources that I'm grateful for and it's up to the athlete to utilize them yeah but I mean if I'm an athlete I'm utilizing everything I can to have that competitive advantage yeah speaking of a resource that you took advantage of my friend Chris is the reason I got to meet you yeah and I'm so excited he introduced me to you because he's the king of connectors by the way he literally like he's the reason I know like five six seven different people in my hometown or in my town that I live in because he literally be like, oh, you want to learn this? Okay, let me connect you. Let me do this, let me connect you, let me connect you. And when he found out that I was launching a podcast and he heard about, you know, people I want to bring on, he was like, I have the perfect person and it was you. And I was like, hell yeah, send me your way, like I can't wait. And I think the fact that one, he spoke so highly of you and he was so excited to have gotten to work with you. And he learned I'm sure a lot from working with you. But also like you getting to work with him. Yeah, he's so smart. Like anyone that's listened to our podcast episode, it's with Chris Cohen, he's great. Go listen to it, you'll learn so much. But like I think he's done such a good job of building those relationships with the athletes. What was something that you learned working with him in that last year of college? Honestly, it was like one of the first things that kind of drew me to talk to him because he, I mean, he came in and we had a connection 'cause of the coastal thing. Okay. He, I think played baseball at coastal for like a year or so. Oh yeah. There was a connection there. So he's like, oh, Sean's up, type of thing. Like, oh, yeah, cool. And then he gave us a book, his book. It's I get to, like you've read it, I'm sure. Yeah, that's how I met. Yeah, I literally found it at a coffee shop posted on my Instagram story and he messaged me. Oh my gosh, stop. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Everything happens for a reason that's a butterfly effects. But my coach used to say I get to. Yeah. That was like her mantra, she had gone through breast cancer. Wow. And so then that was her mantra telling us, you know, like you get to condition. Yeah. There's people in the hospital beds that are wishing they could move their bodies well in the last time and you get to move your body. It's, we take so many things for granted. Yeah. So like that, I mean, that book just puts everything in perspective. So, hyaluric mend, reading. Yeah. Sanitary mend, a little shout out to Chris. And we're not even just saying that. It's really awesome book. And he gave us a copy. He gave everyone a copy. And he wrote like a little note inside everyone's book. And I think there was all individual or whatever based on what he had seen so far. And it was funny because speaking of everything happens for a reason, he wrote something about how like leadership is lonely. And it's so weird because I read that. And like one of the loneliest parts of my life where I had just transferred to a new school and I hadn't. I hadn't really made connections with people as much as I wanted to. And so I didn't like have a friend group or anything. And also, I was struggling with how to kind of deal with leadership because I've always been like a leader at Coastal. And I was a grad student. I was the oldest person on the team, but I felt like a rookie. I mean, I was a rookie. You're a new freshman. Yeah. And so it was this weird thing that I was dealing with. And I remember it hit me really hard like randomly on a day. And then I read the inside of the book. And it was like leadership is lonely. But I don't remember what the rest said. But I just remember being like, oh, shoot. This was so needed at this time. And I remember I sent him a message like, this was so needed, like serendipitous for sure. And I mean, we've just had a good connection after that because it's also like, he's a great person to have in your corner. Because just having someone who can talk about the science behind it, but who is also a person. And very empathetic. Empathetic, it was a great listener. And it's just awesome to have people like that. And so we're very blessed of like coming to contact with Chris. And I'm glad that connection has brought us together too, because I mean, connections are everything. And what's life without meeting people and having a human connection. So it's, you know, it's crazy how everything just lines up. I know the butterfly effect. Well, you just know you always have a big sister in your corner, rooting for you genuinely. Well, you have a little sister here. Well, I also want to get into your experience. Obviously you said that you had a shoulder surgery. When was your shoulder surgery? So my shoulder surgery was three years ago? No, I think it was. So when you were at Coastal? Yes. So I had a few, I had three knee surgeries before that. First one was an ACL. So that was the biggest one. Oh, geez. Whatever surgeries and then shoulder. And then I actually diagnosed type one diabetes two weeks after the shoulder surgery. So you didn't even know you had diabetes? No, no. It was, did you have symptoms or anything? Yeah, okay. Leading up to it. Yeah, I talked me through this. I want to know. It's so interesting, because I think for two years, I was kind of having one of the symptoms, which was floaters in my vision. So there was like just a blob in my vision. You know, when you look into the sun that it follows you, I had that and it would constantly. It would come and go. Okay. So like there was one time I was in a drill. And I had to step out of the drill because I'm like, I can't see the ball right now. Because every time I move my eye, there's like a blob there. And then-- That's scary. I was looking at my computer and I couldn't like read the screen one day and I'm like, what's happening? But I just kind of like, you know, athletes, we have all these different random symptoms. And it's just because we're an athlete and we're doing a lot. Yeah. And so I let that go on for like two years and-- Two years? But that was just the floaters. And then I would like get shaky and stuff. Okay. But it wouldn't affect me all the time. So it's like, oh, it's fine. You never really have time to focus on something as an athlete. Yeah. Usually the recipe for success for an injury is like, oh, rest. I'm like, yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, right. Let me do that in like six months. Yeah. Because you don't have time to rest. No. But anyway, a month leading up to getting diagnosed with diabetes, I lost 17 pounds. And I was constantly drinking water. I was going to the bathroom all the time because you just filter through water. It's your body's like way of trying to dilute your blood and your urine. But I-- yeah, those were the really big symptoms. And I was talking to my boyfriend who's a dietician. And he's like, you should really get blood work. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, like, haven't thought about that. Let me go do it. Whatever. You're like, wait, no one else is drinking water as much as I am? Well, and you just think, oh, I'm dehydrated because I'm an athlete. Yeah. And you don't think anything of it. But in the losing way, I remember my dad being like, you look skinny. Oh, like, you're just my dad. You know, like, he's just-- Yeah, he doesn't know what he's talking about. And then I weighed myself. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. And I'm like, really like, because I don't weigh myself that much. Yeah. And then, yeah, got diagnosed. It was two weeks after surgery, which I found it was super dangerous to have surgery with such a high blood sugar because it increases your risk of infection. So thankfully, nothing happened. Oh, my gosh. But they didn't do any, like, pre-op blood work or anything to see if I was good, because I'm a seemingly healthy female, you know? And-- but then I got my-- they like prick my finger at the student health center, and they're like, you're diabetic. I'm like, you can just tell me that I'm like a finger prick? What do you mean? And I mean, I studied exercise science, so I knew the science behind type 1 and type 2. Yeah. Because type 1 is genetic, right? Yes, genetic and autoimmune. So it can also be triggered by environmental things. And so we kind of later realized that I do have some family history, not super close family, like people who have had type 1. But I got a bunch of cortisone shots in my shoulder, which are steroids. And steroids jack up your blood sugar. So any oral steroid, you know, and you get sick, like you take an antibiotic or a steroid, and I can't take steroids anymore. Like, I don't do steroids, guys. That's why I try to like, clarify. Like we got to clarify something real quick, because people do accuse me of this, which is crazy, which is crazy, because I work really hard. This starts crying. No, but it can't take steroids because it jacks up your blood sugar. And that's what they think happened. I had so many cortisone shots that it's just like, yeah, it's cortisone shots. If you get a virus, it, because autoimmune, it's so environmental. There can be anything. And then, and that's why people are getting diagnosed later with these autoimmune diseases, because there's so much in the environment now that, like, really mess you up, but that's a whole other topic. But then I got Hashimoto's, which is like a hypothyroidism. Yeah, so a lot of autoimmune diseases come in pairs. How is being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes so late in your life, late in your athletic career affected how you approach your life now? It's a big change. Huge. And, but, you know, as an athlete, you're so used to being presented with challenges, and you just have to figure out a way to solve it. And so like, we haven't been aware of like what we put on our bodies. Yeah. So I think a little bit more hyper aware. That background has helped so much. Yeah. Like, and thankfully, I was an extra science major and, oh, there you go. I, it certainly helped, but it was a huge lifestyle change in just like having to take insulin for every carb that I eat. It's like, you have to count things and you have to do ratios. And thankfully, technology makes it so much easier. Yeah. And so, you know, technology fails and you have to guess these things. And so oftentimes you guess wrong and then your blood sugar is low or it's too high. And it's just having, and that affects your mood and it affects how you feel. And it's just trying to play a sport while trying to like keep your, keep your life going. It's a little difficult, but the support staff, especially at like Georgia, it was so dense. And they made it really easy for me to just go play softball and not worry about it. Yeah. But it has honestly given me a lot of good because I share a lot about it on like Instagram and stuff. And there's been this really cool niche that's formed because of it. And it's like little softball players who have type 1 diabetes, and so now little girls will come to the games and they'll be wearing their pumps and their monitors. We'll take pictures with them, and we'll like sign each other's thing. And a mom actually came up to me in a hotel, we were eating breakfast, and she's like, you don't know me, but this is my daughter. She just got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last year. And she thought that she wasn't going to be able to place off all of her again. And then we found your page, and she realized that she can do things at a high level and perform at a high level with type 1 diabetes. And you just really helped show her that, and now she has dreams of going to you one. And then like, no, I was like, the mom was crying when she was telling me that. And I'm like sitting here like, it's 8 a.m. on a Saturday, what are you doing to me? What are you doing to me? And it's just, it's a cool perspective moment because it just, your identity is not rooted in the sport when you have so much to just kind of display other than your ability to perform. And I remember I had a really bad game, this was early in the season, and I was so bummed about it. And then I came out of the game, and there was a little girl holding a sign that said T1D just like me. And I'm like, bro, I'm just like wanting you to cry out, I'm sure, I'm about to get my period. You come out of a bad game and you're so, you're thinking about how you performed what, or performed bad. And it's really easy to sit there and spiral about it. And then you see that and it's like, life is so much more than how I just performed on dirt. No, literally. I literally just played on dirt and I didn't do well. So for me and life sucks. But then this eight year old is dealing with type 1 diabetes and she sees me playing on dirt and doing it well and it's, it's just a really cool perspective moment. And that has been one of the biggest blessings in my sport life is it really has helped me have an identity outside of sport. And it's really why I share so much about it because there's so many type 1 diabetes out there and I didn't know that. Yeah. And it's so cool to have a purpose that's more than a batting average because who cares? Who cares? Who cares? It's so cool. Like if you can impact a life. Yeah. Like who cares? How hard you can hit a ball. You know, it's, it's so dumb what we focus on. But I mean, that's what makes us good athletes. We want to succeed and you can't really take that away from an athlete. But being able to be a person outside of so much more, it just, it makes it all worth it. So it's a, it's a good thing. How special is it to that you then in turn get to see that you're not alone? Yeah. No. People think they're like, Oh, you inspire me so much. And I'm like, No, you inspire me. Yeah. I'm 18 years old, 12 years old, dealing with a super difficult disease. You're like, I'm 23 and I struggle with it. I'm 23. And I just cried yesterday because it was really hard. Yeah. And the fact that you're doing it like, it's reciprocal. Yeah. People don't realize like they're inspiring me so much. And so it's, it's just a really cool community that's kind of been formed through this. Like any bad thing has a positive light as long as you look at it through that lens. Yeah. It's super cool to be able to see things like that now and it's all the bad things that have happened. Bad things in my life have been for a reason and they teach you something. The injuries, the diabetes, it's, it's all for a reason. Yeah. Yeah. Not saying that everything bad happens for a reason necessarily, but you can find reasoning from it. You can always find the light. You can find the light. Yeah. And really terrible things happen. Too good people, but what can we learn from it? Not that you can do anything different, but how can we appreciate life more because of it? Yeah. Like it's, there's so many things that make you just realize like, I'm going to live today, the best that I can do it and I'm going to be happy doing it. And that's okay. No matter how I do doing it, yeah, I don't have to perform at a 100% or an A plus or be perfect. And I used to deal with perfectionism so much. Yeah. Girl relatable. Yeah. I always saw the story, the, the root of my perfectionism was when I asked my dad at the book fair to buy any racer and he said, no, like you shouldn't make mistakes. I think he was joking, but like as kids, you're so literal seriously, I was like, okay, I'll get a pen and I'm never going to say that when you bought the eraser, you didn't want to use it because you don't want to make it dirty because I know that's completely valid. That is all the time. Hey, you don't want it to like get dirty. Yeah. Okay. Perfect. I say we get into rapid fire since you know, I just cried my fucking eyes out or your, your pages wet. Yeah. Thank you. My hands are sweating. My legs are sweating. I'm very unwell. But it's okay. I am dying. I think you need to have a camp of just type one diabetes kids. Okay. We host the sports clinic. We should. Oh my gosh. There are probably so many type one gymnasts has to be. Yeah. They're supposed just athletes all over, you know, I think it'd be so fun for all the athletes to come together and be able to meet everybody and like relate and like have representation and see each other and be like, oh my god, you do that sport. You do that sport and like, it's so, yeah, it's so fun. One of the coolest things I did, I gave like a virtual presentation. I wanted to do it in person, which didn't make sense for me to like a diabetes camp. And so it was just a bunch of young kids that have diabetes and their parents. And it was so cool because I got so many messages after that that we're like, we see you doing like good things and it's so inspiring for my kid because you don't realize how much it affects the parent too. Yeah. Because they're dealing with it as well. You're sending your kid off to school and just hoping that everything works out or asleep over. Like, how do you try to have your kid live a normal life while also trying to keep their life, you know? Yeah. It's like someone with like extreme allergies as well. Yeah. It's like, you're hoping that they listen and they know not to do certain things and they know the protocol. Yeah, but when Jimmy has a cupcake, you're going to be a cupcake. Yeah. And they want to be a normal kid and like, they get distracted and like, I get it. I get distracted. I get distracted. I forgot I had diabetes the other day. Yeah. I literally ate an entire meal. I was having such good conversation with people and we were just, it was so fun. And then I get into my car and my blood sugar is at 300 and I'm like, no wonder why I feel like crap. No, no, but it's just like, it happens. Yeah. I mean, you just said good. You forgot to pack your stuff. Yeah. I literally forgot my like insulin pumps, my extra pumps. So I was somebody down the mountain. I still feel like I literally just dropped and rolled. I was at, it was sunrise and I was so excited to go up to the top of the mountain. It's, it's the big one. I'm sorry. I ruined your hike. No, it's fine. So glad you made it though. I, it wasn't ruined. I'm going to do it tomorrow. Okay. That's, that's the goal. I'm so glad that I was going on the hike, speaking of things happening for a reason. Yeah. I was going to sleep in. There you go. But I got up at 5 a.m. to go see the sunrise on this mountain and I ended up in LA. That's when I put on my sword and I'm like, it feels like this weird like object permanence thing. Yeah. I was just there. I was sleeping there and I don't even know what country I'm in right now because I was just in Europe and oh my gosh, yeah. Well, I'm so glad that we could have a really good conversation without being fully delusional. Oh, yeah. No, it's great. I mean, we may be delusional. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit. Who's to say? Hey, delus always good. Yeah, it's fun. All right. I want to jump into the rapid fire. Okay. And things on a nice little high. I'll try to keep it quick. Lift heavy or run far? Lift heavy. Oh, all day. Is that a question? Do you see me? Oh my gosh. Do you see me? Do I look like I run far? We're feeling striking out or getting hit by a ball. Striking out. I get hit by a ball. 10 times before I strike out. I'm done. I said, you can't take away the mental pain. You can't take away the physical pain. Yeah. That trauma is deep. Yeah. Anyway. Biggest idol growing up. I didn't really have that many like-- I didn't really either. Idols. Whenever people ask me this question, I mean-- Mine was strong Johnson, but that's because she was strong like me. So I had representation, you know? Derek Jeter. Period. Derek Jeter family. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, I never really had like strong female figures that I looked up to. Which is so weird. Now you are. You're her. But that's why you're that bitch. Yeah. I look up to you. When I'm standing in your city. Yeah. Biggest athlete, ik. Ooh. For softball players, it's like-- So usually we wear our pants up here. But when people wear their pants, like down here, or their song. Or like-- Because there's baseball length and then they're softball length. Oh. And when people wear it, baseball length, it's like really weird. Okay. Or-- Oh my gosh. And then we wear our pants up here. do do oh my gosh I see workout in oh yeah no I've never seen a gym ever like whenever people ask me do you workout I just want to be like no so badly like I didn't just get this way and that's also like when people accuse me of like taking steroids I'm like do thank you me and my teammate got tested for steroids in college wow yeah I was a random drug test and we ran a drug test for steroids we ran a drug test very strong anyways one sport you think you could go pro in within six months of training honestly I was a really good soccer player period I would need a really strong legs yeah we could take a ball hard yeah I could see it run fast most unhinged softball superstition probably the order in which I like put my batting gloves and elbow guard on there's no helmet oh my gosh yeah oh it's chronological yeah okay like left go right love elbow helmet shin oh it's a lot interesting it used to be worse I think I used to put my grips on the same way too but I don't think that was like me superstitiously it was just me because I just was a routine I've gotten a lot better about it the more I've realized that like your family not gonna die if you don't do that yeah yeah I like I won't die my family won't die and that like I am actually skilled outside of like putting my batting gloves on right you know it's not just that that makes it so crazy that we create that our heads absolutely yeah no matter what it's like control it's like even even going to like playing a board game with your family I like we'll set the dice in my hand the same way if I got a good role that like it's like I can't I can't flip the switch it's so bad you know what I love a little whimsy though okay sometimes there is magic in the world and it's okay if we think it's gonna help yeah we're going to therapy yeah we're we're on our way next you know it's fine okay stretch or strength stretch or strength again is that question do I look flexible I love stretching I love stretching overstring I should stretch over strength you should stretch I should maybe I'll do that tonight or before my hike tomorrow okay yeah I'll do I won't play sauna or cold plunge sauna oh cool oh I love a red light therapy yes all day all day I don't like being in a cold plunge I hate them I have it but I've been wanting to it's pretty trippy I've been wanting to I don't hate it I don't love it I just don't like the water so I feel like I would I wouldn't say it's better than being wet yeah home game or away game home obviously all right one athlete stereotype that you think is a hundred percent accurate some athletes are just there for the sport there it's more so I feel like it's the guys like what do you mean like the football players you can't tell me they're there for academics no yeah like that stereotype is so I don't even think they're there for the sport anymore no they're there for the money the money the money for the attention yeah and for the girls the cloud yeah being easy for them yes yeah yeah but I for women girls can do no wrong I'm sorry I were perfect I don't know so far I was plenty of stereotypes let me tell you but I don't not necessarily super fitting anymore I know we were just talking about how like they were saying that yeah like everyone was like oh every so but there was a lesbian yeah but it's actually like not really true anymore like obviously we it's just being in pro women sports like it oftentimes there's like so many different just preferences yeah and but softball historically is when so gay yeah and that's what everyone it everyone automatically just assumes that I am and which is like fine because but it's like when I'm getting hit on by women and men I'm like also feeling conflicted that is very odd yeah I will think I've ever been hit on by one before I don't know how to feel about this yeah and it's hard because you think girls are like just being girly pop and like your friend and you're like wait oh is this more than it is oh I don't know how it feel about I made a friend on a different team when I was playing at Coastal and she like we started like snapping each other and I'm like oh cool like new friend from another school yeah started sending me like pictures of a trap flex and I'm like oh not not the vibe I was going for the fact that it's a trap that's like crazier than I asked my teammates and like what am I doing that's like making them the vibe yeah you're like do I give off gave us you need to take off the chain I was like this big 42 change oh sister yeah yeah yeah that'll do it we've grown we've got we've evolved well I'm not no on that no I'm not no I'm not not no guys ladies and gents and we're off to therapy well pencil it in after this yeah of course naturally thank you so much for coming on thank you for having me I adore you you're the best this is so fun hopefully yeah I was saying maybe I can come on your podcast yes yeah I need to like start shooting again but I think that's my first year to start shooting yeah is it if I just come over like I'll press your podcast or what that'll pressure me hey if you're nothing yes well I am really excited for the future for you I think it's gonna look really fun and adventures in bright and likewise I think it'll be honestly just as chaotic as mine so you know I'm stoked for you that's okay because you're still smiling in the best way no chaos is good yeah we love chaos I actually when I don't have chaos I don't know what to do that part yeah I get very bored yeah anyways I love you guys so so much thank you for listening thank you for watching and I'll see you next Wednesday you