Grace Kuhlenschmidt Returns

fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross oh i hate mondays king's hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it welcome back freaking frack welcome to the jungle abc wednesdays abbott is back it's gonna be the best year yet thank you now we can finally turn this up and everyone's going wild y'all think you run this school but you don't it's going great abbott elementary anything can happen in the jungle right guys all new wednesdays on abc and stream next day on hulu wave people who work in real estate many of them need to go to prison totally many of them are doing unfathomable crimes and i will completely agree with you and even add my mom's a real estate agent totally and i don't know what how she's doing her business she absolutely she needs to be locked up we haven't we have an episode recording this week at 8 a.m and i for two weeks i've been looking at on the calendar like something has to give no like how are you gonna do that something that people do every day might do go to their job at 8 a.m i had a thought today where i was like okay caleb wants to be there at 11 a.m which means i need to be ready at 10 30 i need to leave at 10 30 which means i need to be up by 10 which means i need to be up in the nines yeah wow wow i'm up in the night i have to be up in the nines to do something not till the 11th see you've changed and lost touch you've changed and lost touch because the grace i knew oh yeah she was she was in the mind she wasn't sleeping at 5 a.m no way you've changed you think don't you think and this is only one such example i have many more oh really what are the other examples the way you talk to service workers so honestly i've always done that i have oh i've been so fucking consistent that's not new that's not new that's when you work in the yeah when you say i'm not tipping yeah when you but you screamed like where's my fucking ranch right but baby you've had ranch you know why someone would get so emotional about it the idea of you defending that story being like come on where's my ranch yeah it's not ketchup there's a really nice guy there's a really nice guy who that actually by the way what you said wasn't untrue ranch over catch because ketchup they just leave on the table ranch head they have to bring out completely so it is weird about it too and it's like i i know it's a bottle back there like it's not homemade bring it out because i would hate if it were homemade i don't like homemade stuff i don't need that there's a guy that works at the coffee shop that i go into a lot he's really sweet but he's so i love this i think i'm the problem here he's so cheery and he's like i walk in he's like morning caleb what are we thinking for the holidays and and like no and i love it and i'm like that is correct it is ultimately like i have become like a until i've had my coffee kind of person completely as i've gotten a little older and i don't like that that's humiliating but it really is like forcing me very early in the morning every day to like think about what kind of person i want to be absolutely because i like to think i'm a morning person in the way that like i feel better when i'm up in the morning yeah but like no part of me has ever wanted to wake up like ever ever ever i can't think of a single day in my life besides when i'm up in the morning when i'm up in the morning when i'm up inside it's like let's be real christmas morning that i have been like it's i want to get out of bed i'll own it christmas morning i'm 30 years old and i'm still like i've never wanted to get up out of bed except for christmas morning yeah just the way that it is i love that yeah what's the best christmas gift you think you've ever gotten oh do you have two and a half hours for me to stare into space and think yeah huh okay this actually isn't a gift that i got okay that's okay the show is actually whatever do you mind if i don't answer your question really quick absolutely okay cool i couldn't care i couldn't you're so chill about those kinds of things i'm not like one of those guys okay so this is obviously like i just said not a gift i got but my neighbors got my neighbors got electric scooters when i was in third grade tough and that was actually they were my friends yeah so i got to use those scooters and that weirdly was for me it was like a gift that i got and i got a gift that i got and i got me the best christmas gift i ever got because my parents would have never ever gotten that for me i was sad for you at first because i was like they got scooters and you didn't but i never thought about what community could look like no it seriously was so so beautiful yeah and by the way i just want to say these were hanukkah gifts for them yeah so this was really like they had yeah yeah they did this guy really knows hanukkah oh my god it's true i wish i was jewish but i'm a banger of gifts after banger of gifts really it was amazing see i really was my my first kind of foray into cultural competence was when i was like a cultural appreciation was that when i was a kid and i learned that hanukkah had eight gifts i was like wow other people might be onto something as well right it can't only be christianity right right that really was eye-opening for me yeah yeah yeah i think they get eight days of gifts i mean completely there's other ways to think out there well also it's like i do feel like opening more than a couple gifts on one day is completely exhausting oh it's garish nobody needs that even when i go to a birthday like an adult birthday dinner yeah and you know we hand our little whatever to the birthday person usually i'm not handing to be honest i'm pretty bad at giving birthday gifts but that's because i didn't grow up with birthday gifts anyways when people open and we're all sitting around the dinner table i'm kind of like this person needs to be doing this on their own time big time i don't want to be watching big time i don't want to be watching you receive gifts you know what i do want to watch if i write someone a sweet note and they read it in front of me yeah i'm into that yeah which is like with you kind of they're reading the note and your mouth is just kind of um going along with it and the way that you yeah are you to the part yeah you yeah yeah reread that line i feel like you stumbled over a word yeah read that part back yeah wow don't cry don't cry is there like a best note you've ever written you think oh my goodness gracious um oh my goodness gracious me oh my yeah a best note i've ever written do you know what i wrote and then did not send a fuck you note to one of my former bosses who like fired me from a day job that i had oh my god like two years later i had a really big career like win and i wrote a there was like a publication in a magazine about it oh my god and i wrote a note on the publication being like um working for you was a nightmare thank you so much for firing me oh and and i and then i like autographed the thing and i got this close to putting it in the mail and then i was like hey so instead why don't you like check in on yourself like i was like instead of sending this to this person who is a bitch why don't you go outside and like look at the sky or something because you clearly have a problem yeah i mean it was in that moment that i was like you need to do some reflection no i mean i've completely thought about like if i ever win a grammy one day maybe i will say like i love my parents i love my friends and fuck you to like these few people but it really is like whoa that's really we're getting hot yeah inside yeah anger is taking over hey you're holding on to something weirdly completely yeah it's weird it's weird to it's weird to have a moment of what should be joy for you right and allow it to be infiltrated by people you don't like right why would you do that because we're hot heads and we always have been yeah we always that's me and you we're fucking flying off the handle we don't play by the right right right the moment these mics go down my arm is just crossing right over yeah you're gonna hit me yeah fuck okay if you don't hit me first no it's great if you hit me and i'll come oh awesome yeah we haven't talked about hooking up in a long time i know but you know what is hard about your podcast what's up is that you treat every girl the same yeah yeah fuck you're very open about the chemistry that you have with every single female comedian in the world specifically lesbians i know there's something going on yeah with me and lesbians what is it i wish i could get to the bottom of it i know but you know what is so funny like I love that you love lesbians so much and I like-- Like, it wouldn't even be possible for a lesbian to love gay guys as much. No. You know what I mean? No. It makes sense. Like, I know, I see the path. I see the love, like, radiate from you onto lesbians. Yeah. And it couldn't go the other way. It could go to you, but to gay guys in general, the way that you are able to, no, couldn't happen. I know, because the thing about gay guys is, I love us. I love gay guys. I love being a gay guy. I love gay guys. Right. We are, at the end of the day, men. That's the thing. And so it's tough. Like, if you find yourself, like, standing a group of men, it's like, whoa. I know. It's not a cute look. No, I know. In this day and age. I remember years ago, I posted some video, like, making fun of gay guys. And this gay guy, like, responded, like, classic lesbians being homophobic. And I was like, I'm pretty sure you're a man. And if that's what I'm joking. I'm not joking about the fact that you're gay. Pretty sure I'm making fun of you for being a boy. I'm not saying, like, and by the way, butt sex. What a fucking stupid thing. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. So. I'll never criticize you. I know. I never have. I don't think I could even deserve it. I just wouldn't do that to you. I don't know what you could possibly criticize me about anyway. Yeah. Oh, my God. Do you want to hear something that's been making me sick? Yeah. Okay. I was out with my friends the other day. Beautiful couple. Beautiful heterosexual couple. We don't hold it against them. They found love. In a hopeless place. Mm-hmm. They are a beautiful heterosexual couple who I love deeply. I won't say their names just, you know, to be nice. Yeah. Michelle and Brock. Yes. M and B is all I'll say. But they were stressed out because they're building a library in Chicago right now. And, no, they, I was with my beautiful straight couple friends. And, um, I'm going to throw up. Um, I asked them how they met. They have a beautiful relationship. They're so great together. I asked them how they met. They, like, bumped into each other reading books in a coffee shop. And started, like, making fun of what the other person was reading. And then, and then she left the coffee shop. And then a woman across from, that was sitting across from them turns to the guy and goes, You idiot. Why didn't you get her number? No. He, like, runs out to catch her. Can't find her. She's gone. And then a couple days later, they, like, bump into each other on a train station. Oh, my God. Start. Ah! Ah! Sorry. That's. They bump into each other. I'm going to throw up. They bump into each other on a train station. They start dating. It's raining when they get out of the train, so they have to step into a bodega. They exchange numbers. They start dating. They're now happily married. Yeah. I will kill myself. Mm-hmm. Before I ever get married. I will never hear a story like that again. Right. My life means nothing. Completely. I have nothing. That's a meet cute in a movie where you're watching the movie and you're going, that's not realistic. Yeah. That's why that's fucked up. It's fucked up. They're both. It's because I would see that and go, that never happens. And when it does. And it did. I've had meet cutes where I meet someone and I'm like, oh, my God, this is such a cute way to meet. And then it turns out to be like, it's not the, for your meet cute to happen, your cutest meet cute to happen with you. It's your person. Like, I've had a meet cute and then you go on a couple of dates and you're like, oh, the meeting was cuter than that. Yes. And that's important because it grounds you. Yeah. Brings you back to reality. Yeah. But then this couple, which, who they sound amazing. And I'm sure they are. They've never touched ground again. But they, yeah, that's the problem. They've never touched earth since. They just think everything is perfect. They're floating 10 feet high all the time. Uh-huh. Yeah. I just don't like when that kind of stuff happens to other people. Right. No. It's not right. It's not right at all. It's not right. God. And they're perfect for each other. I don't like, I don't even know if I've ever even had meet cutes. I feel like almost all, every, and I'm talking in broad range when I say relationship, every relationship I've had pretty much has started from some sort of mistake or fuck up on my end. Yeah. It's almost all been like, I'm tumbling down a flight of stairs. Okay. Tell me about that. That's just like how, like, I'm just like, nothing cool has ever happened to me in that way. Yeah. The moment we kiss, then I can be cool as fuck. Then I'm like. Yeah. Yeah. I got this. Yeah. Like it's done deal. Yeah. And now I can be cool. Yeah. But like the way that it begins is always me being like sending typos in our first few texts and being like, fuck, sorry. Oh, fuck. Sorry. You're saying fuck. Sorry. A lot. First five texts. Like, fuck. Sorry. Fucking up the you, your, your, you know what I mean? Yeah. Who are you in your relationship? Like what are you? In my current relationship? Yeah. Like what do you, what role do you play in the relationship? Do you think? Honestly, I, I play. Stay at home mom, even though I'm the breadwinner. See, this is, but, but the way that you see, okay. Stay at home mom, even though you're the breadwinner. Completely. What is giving stay at home mom? Like I will cook. I will clean. Um, I will, I'm practically unemployed, even though I do have a full time job, but that's like the entertainment industry. It's like when I'm working, like working really hard, I'm an actor. Yeah. So. You know, I might be working multiple days in a row, but it's not going to compare to anyone else's jobs. No. But I will say like, since I was a kid, like I always remember seeing stay at home moms and being like, that does look fucking sick. It's a good gig. Oh my God. Heaven. It's a good gig. Yeah. Heaven on earth. Not to say it's not difficult. Stay at home mom community. Get out of the comments before you even get in there. It's difficult. It's labor. Oh, of course. It's a sweet gig. There were. They're working. Yeah. They're working the kids. Yeah. They're working. Yeah. But they're working in their house. Right. In pajamas. And that's lovely. I also do that. And I'm very lucky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that shit. Right. That's the other thing is like, there are times I don't need to, I mean, I could not leave the house for a full week at a time almost. Really? That's the way my job goes. Yeah. I get depressed quick. Well, I do too, but that's not like, that's what's getting me out of the house. I need an external factor to get me out of the house. Like what? What works the best? Usually work. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Nice. My work often won't take me out of the house unless it's to come. I mean, I guess that's not true. I just mean like on a day to day when I have free time, there's nothing like any work that I need to do that can be done from home, writing emails, whatever. Will be done from. Can be done from home. If I stay home alone for more than 26 hours, I'm going to a dark place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting, and it's not that I don't like spending time. I don't like spending time alone. I don't like spending time with myself. I just need to like spend time with myself at the park. Sure. At the grocery store. At the apartment. Yeah. Like I, I have to see other people. Don't have to talk to them. I just have to be around other people and things than my house. Something just happens. Well, you know what is affecting my mental health in this way? Tell me now. Is that I live in a garden level unit. You do. And so like my bedroom, like technically there are windows, but I would be facing the street at eye level. Yeah. So I have to have, um, curtains. Yeah. Almost lost that word completely by the way. I have to have. Cover the windows. They cover the windows. My brain went. Uh, they cover the windows. Curtains. So I have to have curtains. And then in my living room and kitchen, like I have natural light, but like, again, like I'm on the ground. Yeah. And so for me, it's like, if I'm home for multiple days in a row, it doesn't even feel like that because there's no time in my apartment. Yeah. There's no daylight. And there's no nighttime. Yeah. Because every hour of the day, the lamps are on. Yeah. Yeah. The time in your apartment is always apartment. Oh, I've Googled so much recently. Like, like Reddit thread, garden level apartment makes me want to die. And honestly, not enough. There's not enough Reddit threads as I thought there would be. Yeah. There's like one where it's like, yeah, I moved out of it and I did feel better. And I remember being like. No, no, no, no, no. No, you can't say that. We need to get, we need to talk. How do we fix the garden unit? How do we fix it? We seriously need to talk. None of us are okay, right? Yeah. It's crazy. Do you think you'll move out? Yeah, one day. Yeah. Okay. My rent is really good. Yeah. And that's kind of just what I'm working with at this point. Yeah. It's really hard. Like, you know, even if I know I can afford more, rent is just one of those things where it's like, well, if I can save on that, might as well. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I mean. 100%. And also in New York, truly, I would be doubling my rent. To find something similar. Yes. Because that's actually how good my rent is. I've been to your place. I know. It's pretty gorgeous. It's great. It's a great place. Right. Damn. Did you notice the lack of windows? Yeah. I can't. I will kill myself. No, completely. If I live in a garden unit. That's the truth. I can't. I found some. There's two things I can't do. Yeah. I found some incredible apartments in New York that I look at it and it's a garden unit. I can't do it no matter what. No matter how great everything else is. I personally can't do it. And then there's another thing I found where I'm like, whoa, this apartment is awesome. What's going on here? Why is this like so cheap? Yeah. And then you do the Google Street View and then you turn two feet to the left and there's a highway. Yes. Like a raised highway. That happens a lot. Yeah. Well, you know, on Street Easy specifically, I feel like you look up like Fort Green because it's like, you know, everyone in New York is like, that's the ideal place to live. You know? And it's like, but one block outside of Fort Greene is under us. a highway and that's where all the open apartments are yeah so it's kind of like otherwise you're not getting you're not living anywhere and also those those apartments their entire business model is trick someone into living here for one year right they'll leave right as soon as that lease is up they'll leave right but you trick a newcomer to the city into living here for one year and then they'll go yeah they're turning those apartments over did you feel like you got tricked when you moved to new york for the first time like did you get duped at all no they hadn't gotten rid of broker's fees yet and i paid a psychotic i want to say my broker's fee was in the six or seven thousands yeah i did that once as well of money that i it was just like you can't get this apartment unless you pay it was and it's crazy like oh no like that money's actually gone yeah i remember leaving that apartment where i paid a crazy um broker's fee and and when i moved out i kind of was like oops yeah that wasn't worth it at all yeah like it doesn't matter that i was there for over two years like i know that's not even that long but i'm like it really doesn't matter like every day just a few dollars were slipping out of my pocket because more than a few more than a few more than a few yeah i mean that's crazy yeah they people who work in real estate many of them need to go to prison totally many of them are doing unfathomable crimes and i will completely agree with you and even add my mom's a real estate agent totally and i don't know what how she's doing she needs to be locked up lock him up lock her up her up your mom is one of my favorite people i know she is so completely epic she's an icon she really is awesome she's everything to me she's the reason i get out of bed in the morning she's the light of my life she's who i thank at award shows yeah she is the mother of my children in some ways absolutely she's my mother in many ways because you guys do have children together you just are very absent yes we do uh-huh and she needs to get out of bed because she needs to get out of bed because she needs to get out of bed because she she knew i was a snake when she picked me up right and by the way it was crazy she got pregnant in her 70s yes but that's the way things go i'm extremely virile and not a word i've ever heard so i got your mom pregnant in her 70s whatever dude wait what does virile mean uh technical definition i think it just means like male version of fertile okay chance fact check me virile i think so v-u-o v-r-i-l-e v-i-r-i-a-l oh i've seen it i just never thought to say it out loud i don't think that's the one is it i think it's virile i think it's v-i-r-i-l-e that's one of my other favorite words virile v-i-what v-i-r-i-l-e you can just put it on the screen i dare you i dare you put it on the screen let us see it on the screen virile yeah having strength energy and strong sex drive okay that is how i would describe it yeah i thought it was more about like the technical like fertility of you were hoping it was specifically about semen yeah i wanted it to be about my seed right right how do you feel about me calling semen my seed i think it's amazing i really appreciate it like that i love it a lot like that yeah okay yeah nice well it's just a you know calling it your seed it's an easy way to slip it into any conversation ever yeah oh the other day i was spilling some seed right right right yeah that was one of my favorite parts of the bible as a kid is the spilling your seed well they're right there like thou shalt not spill thou seed outside of a womb on on the earth or whatever and i was like spilling seed is a sick bar actually yeah no it is a good like it's a perfect alliteration it just works yeah coming is so like what are you an animal i know but spilling seed is a bit like oh i know he spilled the seed well spilling seed is also like the way that i do like to think about it yeah when i when i really sit down and i think about sex yeah i know you're speaking of gay sex but i'm speaking of straight sex yeah when i think about it that's how i like to think about it yeah yes the man spills his seed yes and the stork brings that baby in yeah i also like it's i think my favorite part of his spill because it implies that it's always sort of a haphazard accident right like i just i spilled my seed in there like i knocked over a glass of my seed oh fuck i spilled my fucking oh whoops i'm so fucking sorry oh i dropped my seed again god damn yeah it's kind of like slipped out of my pocket it's like mr bean or something yes it is it's like oh there goes my seed again god yeah whole time it's come the whole time whole time it's come it's never switches throughout the whole story yeah hey by the way you want to know something i realized i wish you would tell me this is my first time ever going on a podcast for the second time really oh i find that hard to believe i know you're such a fabulous guest i think that's true you are as i said it i'm kind of like maybe it's not no i think it's true do you think it's true that this is your first time being a second timer wow and so i figure i just you know i know we've already spoken some bits but i figure i'll just from here on out do the same things i did last time yeah yeah what were the same stories i remember from the from the first time you were on probably my favorite memory of having you on was you you talking about that you were you're like i was so convinced that i was straight in high school i thought it was ironic that i was on the completely that is an all-timer that is an all-timer and like i well i think what i like about that story is that people are like come on she had to know and it's like no i didn't i didn't have to know anything i didn't have to know shit like i was so focused on not failing out of seventh grade yeah you know i mean like i didn't think about a sexuality no way yeah what do i what do i look like thinking about sexuality i'm literally about to flunk out of and also i think i might have that on the last podcast but i do want to reiterate like the boys that i grew up with were smoking hot yeah say that so say that i seriously am like how was i to know yeah the girls i grew up with dumb as fuck stupid really yes yes so you had these stupid girls these dumb but you're like you're like the girls were fucking idiots the boys were fine i was surrounded by disgusting dumb girls bimbos yeah and sexy sexy boys yeah these are like six six and seventh graders yeah at the time yeah i can speak um until high school as well unto high school as well um that's so interesting yeah heterosexuality i it briefly of course plagued me right and um god i'm happy it didn't stick i know fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross i hate mondays king's hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen is making my day way better with these new soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it welcome back freaking frack welcome to the jungle abc wednesdays abbott is back it's gonna be the best year yet thank you now we can't finally turn this up and everyone's going wild y'all think you run this school but you don't it's going great abbott elementary anything can happen in the jungle right guys all new wednesdays on abc and stream next day on hulu do you think about is there a turning point in your life where had something gone a little bit differently you would have never come out it's a really good question grace um no really i think in every lifetime i come out whoa i really do i just feel it was so overwhelming she makes me emotional that's so cute i'm like i just don't think i'm capable i don't think i guess maybe if i had different a different mom sure maybe that would be the thing but that's too far like then you wouldn't exist right yeah right i'm like with my mom there's no way yeah because i just am so cute yeah i just am so like she's so cute she's i am too opinionated and was encouraged to be opinionated and i don't see how i could ever what about you well first of all like that is so cute and shout out to your mom shout out kelly oh my god she's all right unbelievable don't mind her at all i've thought about it like maybe if okay from high school i went to skidmore college which is a small liberal arts school in upstate new york and it was like if i didn't get into skidmore i would have gone to university of arizona probably yeah and i do think i would probably be straight if i went there really i yeah i don't see like me like being in sorority life like i know you were like in a fraternity yeah but like i don't see me as the like drinker that i was specifically in high school going to a sorority and like realizing anything about myself i feel you would only be more lesbian i don't know to be in a - A munching rug. - Okay, but I went there to an all-girls high school yeah and i had not a single clue that's crazy so what were you thinking i know you were just getting drunk with these girls and it was never coming up no like that's so funny i mean no that's not true like i had some like weird you know sexual moments that's not true hold on that's like literally no caleb we didn't do anything and then i'm like well we used to lay next to each other and do some sorts of shit yeah but it still wasn't like gay in my head right it was like i don't even want to get more specific what's good about loving a friend yeah and having like a guy in your class on video chat like hello you know i mean as you're gonna do him yeah right it's for him if it's for him it's straight right yeah so so what's the problem i'm not sure yeah but yeah i do still think there there's a chance i would never come out really i think i would have to be a really different person of course and i think it will be dark and i do think perhaps i would be like all right yeah whoa not that i think i'm capable of that but i'm just saying like honey we're all capable of that we're all capable of that all it takes is like one bad one bad day for anyone to be like you know what i'm picking up the alt-right flag i just think it's like if i went to university of arizona if i found myself in sorority life amongst too many republican friends who knows what would have happened yeah maybe i would have never come out at the least i'd be working for barstool minimum at the least bare minimum and bare minimum you'd be and by the way i've thought about that a lot i'm like there really was like because i went to a liberal arts school that's why i'm not on barstool also i was kidding earlier when i said that anyone can be all right right no i know you love you are always making jokes on this podcast well that's the thing is i need to tighten up a little bit because people think everything you say is serious no i just think it would be nice to get more serious you know i'm getting older i think it would be nice to like get a little more serious i think so too you know stop kidding around so much well honey you're wearing a hat inside you know what i mean if you really want to take yourself seriously you'd start making these choices what did you say about my hat you're wearing a hat inside is that not i don't think that's something that what's the word i'm thinking of that that intellectuals intellectuals is the word that i struggle to think of okay intellectuals do you don't think i'm intellectual because of the hat yeah well i think if anything could be a fedora yeah really would you be so serious right now yeah what would you do if i was wearing it like if you had walked in here today and i was wearing a fedora and no one was commenting on it well unfortunately i would have thought it was like a nod to me because i'm a lesbian i would have been like you goofy guy yeah but if you were like looked at me and were like then i would have gone fully red in the face yeah peed my pants a little bit yeah and been very very scared yeah okay yeah good to know that kind of shows the power you have too that's nice right i love to be powerful yeah i love that that's really nice yeah oh my god is there ever a time in your life you wore a fedora yes oh yes you know when you know when it was what i let a bunch of kids on a mission trip on a youth group mission trip talk me into shaving uh my head uh into the george costanza haircut wait which was what again hair on the side i let them shave my head like that and then i was like guys okay it's funny we got the picture shave the rest of it off and they're like no and i was like what and so then they're like no you should keep it like this for the whole mission trip and i was like okay because they're like that'd be funny and i was like okay and so then i was like it's really funny but then we have to go out to like dinner and it's not so funny yeah so i was like it's funny when it's just us but at dinner it's not very funny right so i bought a fedora and i wore a fedora over my bald spot and then i got oh i spent too much money i spent like about a pretty expensive fedora yeah and i accidentally spent too much of my money on it so then i ran out of food money no and then my youth pastor had to lend me money and my mom my mom called me and was like hey did did the youth pastor have to give you money because you spent too much on a fedora after you shaved your head and i said yeah and then she goes okay we'll talk about when you get home have fun and i was like okay yeah and that's kind of my fedora journey right and i bet this is gonna strike the court of millions of people you are seriously not alone i speak for we are charlie kirk we shave our head at youth group we are all caleb i just have to say like you are smart though because if you are trying to tell i have hair yes but i need to cover the top fedora is the move i am we are you are caleb heron i am caleb heron yes we are all caleb heron there's nobody who's not caleb heron no nobody nobody everybody listening to this you are caleb heron yes print the shirts caleb you are caleb heron thank you we are all caleb we are all caleb heron and then it's a picture of me in a fedora where you can kind of tell that my head is shaved half bald yeah you see just the sliver yeah because it's glimmering it's shining i have a picture of it somewhere oh i would love to see why don't i try to find it okay really quick i'm also looking you were a chance i'm looking for it wow we are caleb heron you know what year it was buddy if you think i know stuff like that 2009 like 15 ish yeah i would in 2009 i would have been 14 14 15 yeah this is gonna take way too do you know what i'm not even kidding while i was scrolling do you know what just came up grace what oh this picture of that picture is so cute we are so cute it's really a good what year was this this was 2018 so cute i was so in love with you then i know me too god knows what happened that time was oh my god we're gonna get it yeah so that's when they finally shaved the rest of it off oh my god i'm obsessed look at how cute your head is that's when they finally shaved the rest of it off yeah by the way i meant to say this a couple minutes ago when you were just telling the story but i do know you could rock a buzz cut like in this current day you think so yeah i get scared of it i know because you do so cute take these away you do have like really good hair and that has been consistent for many a years since i've known you thank you but there's something just about like your skin tone and your hair where i know the buzz cut will work because that's where buzz cuts can get scary yeah is when someone's the way that those two things contrast it's not working but yours it does i'm scared no i'm scared i'm serious no because um i want one yeah i want a buzz cut right but there's maybe think about how easy showers will be you won't have to cry before you get in you know it tells you like you can't do it right and then you have your good friend sit across from you and say that you could right that's me you know i am caleb heron we are all caleb heron yeah maybe i'll do it yeah you know i've had to have a petrifying thought of by the way are you really i got a little bit of tears i was kind of walked in in the scene there for a moment right yeah it was beautiful being in the scene but i'm not crying i'm not crying i'm not crying with you it was really beautiful yeah and you really i'd stand by what i said what were you saying okay so god bless me one day i will play a lesbian in a tv show or a movie i don't one day one day it'll happen i don't think so no i know because there are too busy casting straight people yes however yeah this is not a political statement by the way people are yeah i will i've always said that yeah but i do kind of think that if i only have one role in my lifetime one lesbian role in my lifetime there's a good chance that it's some for some reason a lesbian in the 80s wow i just think that's in the cards for me if that is true we're talking really really short hair yeah and i just do feel like you know if i'm gonna finally get my role of playing a lesbian in something it's gonna be with the most fucking stupid hair i've ever seen i've ever had to experience in my whole life and i will just have to have that yeah are you gonna get the cut for real i think i will because i'm a serious actor okay i can't wait i have i auditioned for something somewhat recently where they were like would love to know if you would cut your hair and it was a really bad haircut and i told my agent like let's say yes and she was like no grace i don't think you should she was genuinely like this before i even got a call back from her for the role she was like i don't know like i don't think it will look that good yeah like she was really protecting me there you have to wake up the day this movie wraps yeah exactly and be you still you still have to live in that hair but i was ready because i'm really serious you're committed yeah you studied at juilliard and what didn't you have i didn't study at juilliard caleb i taught oh fuck i'm sorry yeah how did how was that how did that come about i don't know i was 13 yeah and i honestly was just walking around that campus wherever it is you're walking on juilliard when you were 13 okay And I started talking to some people and slowly people started gathering more and more and more. Yeah. And next thing I knew, they asked me to come back the next day. What were you talking about? What was I talking about? What were you talking about that people were gathering? I was honestly talking about. Process? Yeah. Yeah. I was talking about process. I was talking about, you know, having a routine. Because at 13, that's all you have. Sorry. Just so I'm clear. Because I want to make sure I understand. When you were 13, living in Los Angeles. Yeah. You were walking around the campus of Juilliard. Which is? In New York. Uh-huh. Talking about process. Wasn't sure, but yeah. And routine. Mm-hmm. And people started gathering. Yeah. And they liked it so much, they asked me to come back the next day. Okay. Yeah. And when you went back the next day, just so I understand. Right. You were offered a teaching position? Yes. It was a salary position. Huh. Which, by the way. I wasn't making a lot. You know, teachers don't make a lot. Yeah. It was like 65K. So, obviously, for 13, that was pretty good. Yeah. But, you know, hindsight, it wasn't that great. Had you taught before that? Yeah. Where? It's embarrassing. Harvard? Yeah. I know. It's humiliating. Yeah. Because now you're part of the problem. Well, and it also just wasn't Harvard, though. Like, it was Harvard Law. Yo, fuck. And so, yeah. At 12, 11, 10, not 9. 9. Yeah. Stop. Yeah. You were teaching at Harvard Law when you were 9. Yeah. Wow. Honestly, same exact situation, by the way. Yeah. I was just walking around the campus. Talking about process and routine. Yeah. As you do. You were also on Epstein's flight logs. Well, that's where things get tricky with my history. Because there's a lot of things Wikipedia says about me. Yeah. And that thing. That it says about me. But that was when you were much older. That was like two years ago. Yeah. He had already passed. You were just still taking the plane. And so, because that's the thing, is like, I just do feel like no one, when they were trying to release Epstein's list, no one was saying if they were on it or not. So, I honestly just raised my hand. Yeah. And that's unfair because he had already passed when you were on the jet. Exactly. It wasn't even going to that place anymore. No. So, it really was just bad luck. Yeah. Like, wrong place. Wrong time. Yeah. That whole thing was a mess. He was a friend. Right. Yeah. And we, I mean, you were very close to being there also. On the island? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't make it. He had asked me, Jeffrey had texted me. Yeah. And said, hey, we're going to get the jet to the island this weekend. Do you want to come? We're going to get into some stuff. And I had said, what kind of stuff are you getting into? And he said, I don't really text about it. It'll come through. Right. And I was going to go, but I was on my way to the airstrip. Uh-huh. I was making my way to the airstrip. I was city biking. Yep. And a voice yelled out to me. Okay. And said, Caleb! And I turned, and it was, oh, I forget his name. He was the mayor of New York for a time. Rudy Giuliani. Oh! Oh! It was Rudy. Yeah. And do you remember Rudy Giuliani from being the mayor of New York? Yeah, I do. He was yelling out to me from a bodega. Right. And I looked over. This is 2013. Yeah. And I looked over, and he was in there with Barack Obama. Mm-hmm. And what was her name? Hillary. No, she was already on the island. I was going to meet up with her there. This was the girl who played, it was Rudy Giuliani, Barack Obama, and the girl who played the lead girl in Saved by the Bell. I never watched that show. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly Ripa? Kelly Kapowski. Kelly. Kelly. What was her name? Jennifer, not Jennifer Love Hewitt. What was her name? The girl who played the lead in Saved by the Bell. The lead girl in Saved by the Bell, Brunette. The actress's name? Yeah. Tiffany. Tiffany. Amber Thiessen. Tiffany Thiessen. Tiffany Thiessen. Oh, got it. It was Rudy, Barack, and Tiffany in the bodega. They were playing dice. And he said, come play dice with us. And I did. And then we got cross-faded in there. Right. And I missed the fucking fight. Yeah. And so I still don't know what they got up to. I know. That is like, I know that's one of your biggest regrets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tiffany's incredible at cards and dice. Really? She, yeah, she really is something. So you guys were doing dice and you were like playing poker? Yeah. Well, it was, well, it ended up being a long night. Yeah. We, I woke up. A bender. It was a bender. Yes. For lack of a better term. And yeah, I woke up. Rudy had left around three or four. He went to, afters at Club Cumming or something. There was something going on at Club Cumming. Yeah. Yeah. He was trying to get a group. He was like, let's go to Club Cumming. I was like, I was just there the other night and I woke up with, not in the same bed, but in a hotel room in Atlantic City with Barack and yeah, the cast, the cast of Saved by the Bell had come through. Really? All of them had come through. That's so cool. They're all so, so close. Yeah, they are. And yeah, we had, we had ended up in Atlantic City, but it was fun to see those guys. I hadn't seen them in a minute. Right. Yeah. And yeah, that's one of those things. I don't know about New York. You're doing this and you're not even making eye contact with me. So it's like, it's like the most trying to be like, how long is he going here? It's the most useless bit to begin with. Yeah. But then to also never let it in is amazing. I think, I think it's an all timer. I think, I mean, what do we think that was for four minutes minimum? That's New York. You know, you go out thinking your night's going to be one thing. You end up at the, and then that's New York. That's New York. Yeah. That's New York to me. That's my New York anyway. At this point, do you feel like, okay, New York is so fucking awesome. What do you mean? Because you've lived here for a little bit now. A little bit. But you still kind of go all over. Yep. So now are you like, I love New York or are you like, New York is still kind of New York to me? Well, here's the funny thing. My friends in New York. Cause you were pretty LA pilled for a while. Here we go. Okay. So this is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not trying to go into that conversation. I'm just saying. I just don't want to, yeah, I don't want to have tension. I don't want to have confrontation. A lot of my friends who lived in New York before I moved here, they're like, you totally flip-flopped on New York. And I'm like, that's actually not true. I have always loved New York and always hated many things about New York. Right. And I still hate all of those things about New York. And I live here anyway. Why did that happen? Well, I love LA, but I was tired of being 29 years old and texting people to go out and do stuff. And they're telling me that they're in bed and it's 9 PM. Right. I couldn't do it anymore. I was like, this is going to be really appropriate in 15 years. Right. Right now. Right. We need to. Everyone like needing to get to bed so they can wake up for a sunrise yoga class. Right. That's not the space that I'm in. I know. And I'm not even a partier or anything like that. I just want to be doing stuff. Yeah. So I'm loving New York. Yeah. People do things. Yeah. People have a life here. People do stuff. Right. And that's LA. It's like very, people do stuff in LA for sure. But it's just my most frequent experience in LA was that, myself included, we would go out to a dinner or a drink and then the night was over. Yep. Yep. So I'm like, I'm looking for a little more. Right. Right. Right. Activity right now. Definitely. That's all. Yeah. Yeah. And that is what, what New York has. And when I go to LA, I, I find myself falling asleep just being there. Yeah. Yeah. At the wheel. Yeah. I'm falling asleep at the wheel. No, it is nice. I mean, it's like, I do, I did have a great time in LA. I liked, like, there's something really great about the pace in LA sometimes. It could be lovely. Yeah. When you want that pace, LA is to die for. Yeah. But I also get that when I go to LA. I go to Kansas City. I'm like, Kansas City has stuff going on. I know. I know. But it's like a nice place to like relax as well. So how do I feel about New York? Well, I love it. I just need to know when I'm supposed to come to Kansas City. Anytime. But like. Let's go. Can you tell me, like, give me like an option or two of like best weekends to come. Yeah. And I'll be there. Okay. Unless you feel like it's actually so all around awesome that I just can come at any time. You can come at any time and we'll have a great time. Yeah. I would say I. I'm kind of encouraging everyone all the time to come for the benefit show for the tenant union. It's in the fall. Yeah. It's always a blast. Right. And it's like a big fun night and a great bill every time. Yeah. But you can come to Kansas City anytime, babe. Yeah. Come stay at my house. I can't wait. Holmes and I were just talking about doing a writing retreat there to finish up some projects that we need to finish. Not together. Who is. Who did you say? Holmes. Chelsea Holmes. I'm unfamiliar completely. Do you know? No. They were. They were an IO person. No. Non-binary. Non-binary. I don't think so. A lot of overalls when we were in Chicago. Really dark brunette. For a couple of months. One year. Yeah. No. I don't know. Yeah. Non-binary. Totally. Used to drink quite a bit. You'd think I'd be familiar, but no. Right. I'm trying to think if there's anything else that you would. I don't think I know who that is. They were in Overcompensating, Benny Skinner's show. I know every. I feel like I can list everyone on that cast, but I don't know the name you're saying. Yeah. I just don't know it. Obviously tough. I'm not super close with them, but I used to be. Right, right, right. But that sounds amazing. Yeah. And I will join. for that grace i have a question for you yeah what is so true to you oh my god okay i feel i here's what i need to preface this with okay i'm absolutely open to i'm completely open to like any um thoughts people have on this but i want to just say i'm really passionate about it and so i really want people to before they kind of go what just stick with me here okay okay what's so true is that christmas should be in february or march yeah easy oh done done yes yeah okay and my main reasoning being that we're we're filming this right now in december yes we are and it's like i'm having an amazing time it snowed a couple days ago there's still snow outside which is fucking beautiful yeah the snow is not dirty and all the christmas lights and everything are up and it's magical in february february and march new york specifically will look so horrible yes and as did chicago when we lived there and as in upstate new york when i've lived there yeah it will look so horrible and there's not a christmas light to be seen we need the cheer we need the cheer my also can i just say yeah two major holidays in november and january already thanksgiving and my birthday yep so to have christmas in december is a little bit like let's just like relax when it's needed when it's needed yeah that's what jesus would want i like that and here's the deal is also it gives us time to like admire and and and celebrate these other holidays hanukkah and kwanzaa yeah christmas just absolutely fucking steam rolls the others yeah it's not right yeah and it's potentially important to note that christmas it does come from a fictional storybook yeah and so i do think let's change it let's change it let's take what we can okay we can't change um what's it called when now the lights the sun goes down early winter no you guys know the equinox no come on daylight savings we can't change daylight savings they won't let us we should though we should but i swore a few years ago there was major articles saying that someone was trying do you know what i mean like i don't know what i mean like i don't know what i mean like i don't know what i've been saying for a long time we should have it should be one time everywhere if it's one if it's one p.m in new york i already know hold on hold on if it's one p.m in new york and it's daytime then it's one p.m in australia it's one p.m in london and it just means different times for different places it's it's one p.m everywhere you go hey do you have a phone call at one p.m tomorrow you say that everyone it's one p.m but some people would say no because one p.m they're night so then so then you go it's like okay so you know you know how you have to do you know how you have to do so much math about the times that's easy for me but continue it's easy for me too i love addition it's one of my favorite math forms okay and subtraction okay well i'm not saying it's difficult i'm just saying it's silly and superfluous to be doing that we could have one time everywhere okay i'm hearing you like i want to be fully agreeing with you okay i just have a few questions ask them my first question is like so then like what hours of the day do people work they work whatever the like daylight like so they work like whatever okay so you know how you know you know right now like five times right now it's like nine to five yeah that's like the classic one right that's the classic one i know and love that's the totally classic one yeah but instead it would be like okay you're gonna work sunrise for seven hours or whatever we would find a way to do it okay okay i like that people waking up at sunrise every day no it's like we would find a standard way that's kind of where i wanted your answer to go so it is still based on sunrise it's based on sunrise but i think the tricky part is then like you know sunrise changes a couple minutes or so every day maybe totally that seemed right guys so but what i'm saying is like you wouldn't do it day by day like in like say in new say we were gonna set new york as the standard okay that you'd say okay new york's workday is nine to five well that means that la's workday would be uh like you know freaking freaking and theirs would be like whatever their hours were of course don't make the man do math so it'd be like okay ours is nine to five theirs is noon to eight because that's out there well do you know what i mean like that's where the sun do you understand there's what i'm saying i think because the sun well the sun rotates yep yep so i just want to make sure though that we are not having are are you having places where it will be dark for their their work day work hours no okay so you're trying to avoid that no like is that my question to you like i'm avoiding that that's totally avoided me saying is that my question to you that's your question to you that's your question to you that's your question to me that confused right and i've avoided it and i want to tell you when we make this change we're also going to a four-day work week yeah that's huge we're going to a four-day work week that is so impactful caleb monday through thursday i really want you to follow through on this monday through thursday no i don't want you to i don't want to text you in a week and you go oh i dropped this idea no no i want you to really make this happen i think you can four-day work week is the moderate proposal yeah five and two is one of the most fucked up it's things i've ever heard because i literally and i really am saying this with so much immense privilege because i rarely work five days a week yeah but i seriously it's like friday at 6 p.m comes around and i'm like great it's already saturday yeah and then saturday well that's monday honey yeah that's how depressing sunday's tuesday yeah it's not right it's not right this isn't working i remember a friend of mine um his job like maybe six years ago switched to four days a week and like actually productivity in his whole work i know this is like everyone knows this kind of thing and europe does this shit all the time but his the productivity over his whole workplace like every employee went up 40 yeah well because a lot of those places that have switched to four-day work weeks they put in other protocols as well where it's like right no meetings without an agenda no agenda is longer than a page like they they put things in place which is a bummer because my favorite kind of meeting has no agenda right but i understand it for people who are at work for productivity yeah for productivity yeah yeah yeah europeans are lazy is that what it is i'll let you say that they just fuck off for the middle of entire days and whole months yeah sorry i like i do i'm actually going back we're gonna keep the times the way they are and we're gonna work eight to seven really yeah i just decided that seven i love america i just got really five days a week are you going to five now no i don't think europeans are lazy i'm quite jealous and that's where that came from yeah yeah i'm jealous of the way they treat work right i mean they may they may not be able to do that but i'm jealous of the way they treat work yeah you see their salaries and you go i understand why you're getting the time off but okay i mean no that is crazy europe gets they i mean my friend who lives in france she has like all of august off yeah all of it yeah how is that possible i'm unsure i'm jealous i'm completely jealous it pisses me off but here's something with my christmas idea say it i realize that the hardest mental block for people will be that you know christmas time yeah is our biggest like work break of the year right but i'm saying we're adding more i'm saying now we we keep our christmas time off yes for hanukkah and kwanzaa yes and for new year's i want to i want to thank you by the way for for adding kwanzaa into the whole mix of course you've been really fighting for kwanzaa i'm really fighting for kwanzaa and that's beautiful well absolutely yeah do i know really very much about hanukkah or kwanzaa no no but you know what that's okay realistically i know very little about christmas as well i know little about much yeah i know honey that's what i know yeah so what i'm saying is if we do christmas in i i want to do february but let's say march why not yeah but maybe we should do february just there's still snow on the ground do you know what else we could do every month yeah we work the first second and third week of the month oh hold on what about this okay january yeah we work we don't work the first week of the month why would we second third and fourth we work yeah then we work the first second and third of february we don't work the fourth week of february we don't work the first week of march and we keep going in that pattern where there's like six weeks in a row sometimes where we're all working but then there's two weeks where we're not and we do that all year round baby i think that's how it should be that's a good one because the moment that like uh like national holidays are over near the beginning of the year it honestly looking at the calendar is really dark it's tough it's really dark you'll be in like february and you'll be like oh shit so we're straight up waiting till fourth of july yeah that's our next like to have a day off yeah but in my system it's not like that i know and if i think this is what i'll say to whoever's listening if you if anybody is in charge of this how we do this i'll keep the time the way it is i will give on the time okay as a uh concession if we do my we plan yeah yeah if anyone listening has control over that stuff but you don't want to do you want to do six weeks well i just thought it would be nice because then it creates the reality where we have two weeks off in a row sometimes i know and the two weeks off is very special especially for vacation kind of stuff vacation but i was thinking like what if just the first week of every month is off well i thought that too but then the reality is you never get two weeks in a row off i know unless you want to use your pto right yeah you could use it i'm talking to friends with corporate jobs like my friend last week was like what are you doing today and i was like i'm like you know waiting to see if i'm going into work or not but what are you doing he's like i took the week off and i was like how and he's like i had vacation time i had to use and i truly am like what does that mean yeah how that doesn't make any sense like i'm happy for him but that's why corporate america is so bizarre it's crazy he literally was like yeah i'm not going anywhere so i just i'm going to take a week off even though i'm at home in new york yeah just because he should i know i know i have to take that time i know but it's just so funny yeah i guess i've just never worked a corporate job in my whole life i have i did service to this you did yeah you did i remember that yeah i remember that and i remember you and your corporate job i was yeah it was not pretty crazy it was not pretty no it wasn't i was showing up to those offices with an outsized attitude i was do feel like you were like borderline getting in trouble sometimes oh border honey borderline okay i was in trouble it wasn't even getting in i existed in trouble yeah yeah yeah yeah oh i was yeah i would hit the sweet spot i would get a new job and i would do i would do what i call hitting the sweet spot which is where you work a little hard for two weeks when everybody over personality style take all your sick days quickly take any pto that you have accrued and then just kind of wait for them to fire you or quit right right right right right right i yeah i was really i was focused on comedy only yeah was not worried about those day jobs well no and why would you have been didn't care about benefits because i was also like i'm on my mom's health insurance sure until she's a nurse so i was on her health i was lucky to have like a decent health insurance yeah that's amazing i was like i got to chicago when i was 21 or something 21 22 and i was like i got a couple years of not having to think about benefits right i'm doing whatever i want yeah also how like amazing but also depressing that the only thing that you really cared about was health insurance yeah and that's what most people cannot get at all that's why they don't oh my god that's why they don't want us to universalize health insurance is because it would disincentivize so many people from working bad jobs exactly exactly they want us to michelle what's going on over there oh food's here food's here i didn't know we were still ordering food i love that did you did i get something nice i got something too by the way did you yay we're gonna eat lunch soon just something for you to know what your lunch that your crew got yeah today this is how my boy is doing that this restaurant is my i'm really gonna ball out for takeout tonight it's only my sushi spot where i'm like i can't believe i'm doing this let's go so you're so happy yeah i'm really fucking happy making you happy is my only goal i know do you want to play a game yeah okay grace miserable already just seeing that clipboard you know what time it is grace i'm gonna read you 15 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what i just said was true or false if you get 10 or more correct we're gonna give you 50 us dollars that's it it hasn't gone up since last time i was here no this is yeah now you get sushi the foo fighters formed in 2000 false false 1994. michelle obama went to yale for undergrad true false princeton mobile is the capital of alabama true false montgomery the clown from stephen king's it is play is named pennywise true true the blackberry was invented in california true false waterloo canada skidmore college was originally the young women's industrial club true true dogs have three eyelids false true fuck marge simpson's mother's name is madeline true false jacqueline mariska hargitay went to hoover high school false false marymount high school identical twins don't have the same fingerprints true true walmart and target opened their first stores in the same year true true the current mayor of chicago is brandon johnson oh i don't know true true snow leopards can leap up to 50 feet in a single jump true true jupiter is the largest object in our solar system false false it's the sun doctors who are liver specialists are called hepatologists true true how'd she do an incredible comeback for the age is 10 wow grace grace grace grace grace hell yeah queen your crew comes lifts me up in my chair they're not allowed to move because i did so bad last time yeah did you well i didn't win oh i didn't know that oh my god how does my money come in cash um is it zelle uh it's best not to ask what it was so nice to have you on how does my money come and god we love you grace tell people where they can find you uh grace i love you so much i love you so much thanks for doing it again buddy of course i love the so true fan base and i really love being here do you want to tell people where they can find you yeah you can find me on instagram tiktok and and other platforms at g-k-u-h-l-e-n-s-c-h-m-i-d-t yeah and on the daily show and right now i think that's about it for me okay it's a lot hey pretty good love you i love you fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross i hate mondays king's wine cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one um you hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it welcome back freaking frack welcome to the jungle abc wednesdays abbott is back gonna be the best year yet thank you now we can finally turn this up and everyone's going wild y'all think you run this school but you don't it's going great abbott elementary anything can happen in the jungle right guys all new wednesdays on abc and stream next day on hulu