Google Engineer Allegedly Punches Wife to Death…Then Never Speaks Again

there are so many things that you wouldn't even think have cameras but they do and they're potentially recording you and it sounds nefarious it's not all nefarious it's just unexpected is all like ovens a lot of smart ovens they have cameras inside the oven to utilize ai to detect what type of food you're putting in there so that they can cook it to completion without you having to think which i guess inside the oven is much less invasive than say like a robot vacuum those things have cameras and as they roam around cleaning your hardwood floors the camera is scanning to make sure that there's no obstacles in the way like you getting out of the shower butt naked even those little automatic pet feeders for your cats they typically come with cameras and i do think that that's a feature that a lot of people want they want to see their cats eating they want to make sure that their cats are getting fed if they're at work unless you're this guy who posts on reddit okay so this is kind of a complicated one but here goes my girlfriend got a new job so she got one of those auto feeders for her cat because she's going to be away a lot more now and it's like a doctor feeder so it has a camera in it and it can connect to wi-fi and doctor feeder you say i think it's one of those fancy cat feeders and he says it can connect to wi-fi she can actually look at the camera while she's at work and even talk through it and send the cat treats and it comes through the cat feeder i think it's kind of a complicated one but i think it's kind of a complicated one because i said initially i don't like the idea of you having a camera in the living room but she was like it's my place so you shut the fuck up so i did i shut the fuck up anyhow flash forward a couple of weeks on a friday i get out early and i was supposed to go to her place that night but i just went out like two in the afternoon to chill until she got back home from work i laid out on the couch i completely forget about the camera and i eventually start self-pleasuring because that's something that i just do and apparently she's at work talking to her colleague about this cat and decides that she wants to show her colleague how she feeds her cat and she's like a treat and see if the cat comes over so she turns the camera on with her colleague over her shoulder and here i am on the couch just beating it she's obviously very pissed off like how often do you do this which is not often and she would say things like you violated my space and all of this and we've been fighting on and off for a few weeks now and then to top it off her colleague found my instagram and has been liking some of my photos like even ones that my girlfriend's not even in and it's just kind of got me thinking about it and i'm like oh my god i don't know what to do with all this and i'm thinking like am i the asshole i mean that feels honestly more like a user problem than a cat feeder with a built-in camera problem the cat feeders will just capture the cat sprinting to the feeder typically and you'll hear the food come out the kittens being startled by the new there's a lot of viral cat feeder videos the cat food will tumble out and then the kittens will get so scared they jump like three feet in the air like a circus animal it's usually just like more on the wholesome spectrum people just love the cat videos which is exactly why tony and ivy this is a couple with two cats they get a cat feeder so tony and ivy and their two cats and they get that cat feeder and they put it in their house and on this particular day this cat feeder is picking up something just a lot of things alarming things but there's no built-in system to call the authorities because something is alarming or even call the people who own the pet feeder all this cat feeder does is just record so this cat feeder records by itself yeah oh like a security camera almost they keep a data log a little past midnight at 12 21 the wife ivy she's in her 20s she walks into the kitchen to close up shop for the night if you will i mean she's cleaning up she's turning off all the lights and by 104 a.m it just seems like the whole house is going to bed the lights are off there's not really action the cat camera is not picking up anything but it's just downstairs it sees the living room it sees the kitchen but it's not seeing the entirety of the house and then 4 43 a.m this is really bad early in the morning tony the husband suddenly appears in the cat feeder camera and his shirt looks like almost like he's been painting there's just deep red colors everywhere some sort of pigment he goes out of the frame and when he comes back he's holding one of those circular one of those wood saws that you turn on and the blade just starts rotating to cut the wood but it's not rotating it's turned off right now and he's looking at it and he brings it up to his neck and his finger is on the button to turn it on and he's about to press down and he's very tense it's almost like he's just waiting for the courage to press it and then he doesn't and then he walks off then the next time he's caught on the pet feeder his entire arm is swollen there's like this thick red liquid on him and it's very clear that it's blood like there's just blood everywhere but tony himself is not injured not even a little bit like that circular saw he didn't do anything there's no injuries on him there's not even a cut or a bruise really other than his leg and he's like swollen arm so where's all this blood coming from and what has he been doing all night and why is it that we haven't seen ivy since midnight and what is he going to do when he realizes that this cat feeder is recording his every move we would like to thank today's sponsors who have made it possible for rotten mango to support the national network to end domestic violence nnedv is a non-profit dedicated to ending workplace relationship and stalking violence this episode's partnerships have also made it possible to support rotten mango's team of dedicated researchers we'd also like to thank you guys for your continued support as always full show notes are available at rottenmangopodcast.com today's case involves topics like dv so please watch with discretion we also worked with our professional chinese translators since the news was it takes place in the u.s but it's a lot there was a lot more discussion in chinese media about this case but a lot of quotes statements may be translated and shortened or condensed for brevity so with that being said let's get into it chinese is arguably one of the hardest languages to learn and i'm not just saying that as somebody who has been trying to half-heartedly learn this language for the past 12 years of my life being with my chinese husband i just know how to say the very important stuff like yes no thank you and that's way too expensive but there are words in the chinese language that mean one thing but also sound like another thing and there's a lot of these so for example cup sounds like tragedy uh-huh can you say sure sure i guess cups is like how do you say tragedy tragedy so it sounds so much like that there are now sayings in chinese where they say life is like a cup if it's washed it breaks life is like a tragedy if it's washed it breaks it's like a play on words they say porridge sounds like like so on social media a lot of younger people will say things like i porridge you instead of i like you can you say porridge oh what's fine see fine like like okay see one see fine and see one all right okay the fruit pear sounds a lot like pressure they say so people will say like you feel a mountain of pear so the fruit the pear leads does it sound like pressure stress pressure leads just a food pear yeah fruit pear apparently they'll say i feel a mountain of pears right now instead of saying i feel a mountain of pressure right now because pear sounds like oh yeah oh yeah okay okay wait i don't get it yeah it's like like it's like a more formal turn of hair it's like though you say the full thing rather than the short term but yes i know what you're talking so it sounds the same yeah yeah yeah so instead of saying like i feel a mountain of pressure they say i feel a mountain of pairs and one of the reasons that you can't even give somebody a clock or a watch as a gift so typically in chinese culture i think also in korean culture although i'm not sure if it stems from this reasoning but if you give somebody a clock the word clock the words give a clock also sound like attend a funeral yes so when you give a clock that's really bad so a lot of the times if you gift somebody a clock or a watch they will give you a dollar in return so it seems more like a purchase a trade versus you know giving somebody a clock because you're almost wishing them death and to make it even trickier there are even number sounds so 520 sounds like i love you people will text 520 instead of texting i love you and everybody knows exactly what it means there's the long one what's the long one it's like oh it's like 201314 like like i love you my whole entire life something like that so people will just send a sequence of numbers and just think that you get the most deepest profound confession of love and may 20 may 20 is the chinese valentine's day now because it's 520 so yeah i love you because numbers just mean a lot of things like a lot of chinese buyers will make sure the house number doesn't sound or mean anything else that sounds negative lots of people don't like the number four because it sounds like death but when you're in the bay area in san francisco and you're buying a house where all the tech people are buying a house it's very difficult to be picky there's not a lot of options and the options that are there are already in the midst of bidding wars you have to act fast for a four bedroom two bathroom house that's less than 2 000 square feet by the way 1800 yeah about 1800 square feet which is okay that's not a bad size it's just the fact that it's over two million for less than 2 000 square feet two million dollars and it's a 20 minute drive from google's campus in sf it's going to get snatched up so regardless if the house number is 714 because 714 it sounds in chinese like wife will die regardless of that fact you're going to want to get the house january 15th 2024 police are inside a house 714 trying not to flinch at the mentality of the house and they're going to get the house and they're going to get the house and they're going to get the house and they're going to get the house and they're going to get the house the officers testified later that it just you walk into the house and it smells like blood there's no other way to describe it everything smells like blood you can't smell anything else because everybody's house has a very unique scent not that that is important to the officers but it can tell them a lot if you smell lots of feces and urine you could probably come to the conclusion that there is someone that is not well kept here and maybe not even a mentally good state if you smell other things like the scent of a dead body you can also people pick up on the smells they can't even smell anything but that strong eye-watering metallic scent they're performing a wellness check when they find a suspect in a nearly catatonic state that's the only way they can describe it just they're on their knees staring the officers they broke down the door and there's just a suspect on their knees staring at the wall it doesn't matter that the officers are slamming down the doors to get in they're just all screaming like get your hands in the air none of it matters the suspect it seems like they saw nothing heard nothing don't care about anything they're just catatonic they're just staring they're staring staring staring and right next to them is a dead body the police they walk the suspect out with their hands firmly behind the back they're walking past a little cabinet and this cabinet has a bunch of trinkets on top they're guiding the suspect out of the house like a dog and the suspect leans down onto the cabinet so he leans towards the cabinet and with their mouth bites the top of this picture frame and chucks it like a dog ripping apart a squeaky toy just chucks it onto the floor the picture frame shatters everywhere there's glass everywhere and inside the picture frame is a photo of ivy the same ivy that is now caked in blood laying on the bedroom floor her face is completely unrecognizable and she's dead the photo is it just ivy in there just ivy the wife of the house is now dead tony and ivy are a 27 year old couple from china and they put 500 000 down on this house they mortgage the rest which is a pretty substantial down payment they're able to afford it considering both of them are software engineers at google they buy the house one year into getting married they get two cats they even have a dedicated instagram for their cats named cooper and kiwi by all accounts i would say that they seem like a very standard software engineer tech couple they're obsessed with their cats they commission artwork for their cats they buy those cute little party hats for their cats during their birthdays the cats lay on their laps as they're working from home and they're able to afford a home and when they're not taking pictures of their cats for the instagram pages they're going skiing they're going snowboarding they're going hiking with their other software engineer couples in the bay area tony's instagram bio lists that he's into photography volleyball skiing rock climbing and a bunch of other sports ivy's adds yarn and gardening ters and they're both chinese so just to like paint a picture of both of them tony gives the very like the very first impression you give of tony is quiet academic focused nerd i there's really no other way to describe it he's always wearing black framed rectangular glasses his hair is very short and neat it looks very efficient like he doesn't want to spend too much time on his hair he's a very slender build he has a very unassuming face the most noticeable thing about him is that he's six feet two inches tall but other than that he just kind of looks like a software engineer he also has a very rigid look to his face it's not necessarily cold but he appears guarded he doesn't seem like the type and by all accounts people say he is not the type to engage in small talk in the elevator he's not going to be smiling at you when you're a random co-worker that gets into the google elevator and he's in there he's probably going to give you like a curt nod if anything whereas his wife ivy she looks a lot softer she's not super expressive people say she's also not very expressive with her face but she looks a little bit more open people say that she's the type that will smile at your jokes even though they're really not funny but it's not like a over the top like oh my god you're so funny like where did you learn that joke it's just like a very small talk in the elevator he's not going to be very polite smile so that you don't feel awkward she also has very bookish qualities to her she feels very approachable and unapproachable all at once the way everyone describes her is she's the one that will get you coffee one day in the office and then she's going to remember your coffee order three years later and you're not even her friend you're just like the person that works in the room next to her she feels very approachable in that sense because she's very kind and sweet but also unapproachable because she will probably score in like the top one percent of an ivy league school at all times and somehow be the smartest person in the world and she's going to be the in the room at the same time and you feel like you can't talk to them because maybe you feel insecure that you're not that smart but she doesn't make you feel that way the two of them they get married in 2022 in 2023 they buy this two million dollar house in the bay area and both of them are now working at google as software engineers but just because everything appears to be near perfect from the outside does not make it true do you know people who are obsessed with their first loves it's like a thing okay they don't marry their first love in the way that i mean the way that they think about their first love you would think that they're possessed to the point where they almost idolize their first love in a way that everybody around them is very confused they talk about their first love as if this is a member of black pink an idol that is untouchable somebody that would never grace planet earth ever again and everyone around them is just thinking i mean they're great but like are we talking about the same person right now because this is so crazy i don't know what you're saying it's like this longing that they have this unreachable love and you're like no i don't know and they're pretty reachable like i saw him working at the vape shop down the street like he hasn't gone anywhere i don't know why we're trying to make him out to be this prince charming that ran away he's down there selling vapes you can go get him tomorrow if you want probably tonight i don't think he has plans by the way that they talk about their first love you would think that they they were the one that got away and became an oscar-winning actor and actress that they'll never be able to connect to again it's never that serious but some people just idolize their first love and they're like i don't know why we're trying to make him out to be this first love chinese has a saying called um so guys will describe sometimes not even like first love but even like a girl that they like loved the white flower white they call it like white moonlight yes white moonlight white moonlight that's what i'm just about to say okay so they they call it white moonlight and then there's the other aspect where they call it like the red rose or something like the red moonlight so some people idolize their first love as this white moonlight so pure so innocent just yeah yeah pureness and then a lot of people will start idolizing this red rose which is a very passionate love so this comes later in life but this is a passionate love that they don't end up with but they remember this relationship and so there's almost this very annoyance that people have in china of when guys are always haunted by either the white moonlight or the red rose and it's just like get over yourself it's not that big of a deal there's even books written about this in china where a female author writes about how men tend to have two loves the white rose and the red rose they have two love interests and they're going to pick between one of them so the white rose is the first love but if he marries his first love she's no longer going to be the white rose she becomes a grain of sticky rice on his clothes just because he's a white rose is dull and irritating and then he's going to yearn after because he married the white rose he's going to yearn after the red rose the red rose is the passionate mistress that makes him feel alive and sensual and burning with love but here's the thing if he had chosen the red rose and doesn't marry the white rose if he married the red rose she will become mosquito blood on the wall sordid marriage he will consider her ugly and venomous even and then he will daydream and idolize about what life would have been like if he had chosen the red rose and doesn't marry the white rose she will consider her ugly and venomous even and then he will daydream and idolize about what life would have been like had he married the white rose the eternal pure moonlight before his bed type of woman it is a very deep outlook on males need to conquer women stating that this is the type of system where no real woman can win because the moment she's possessed by the man she gets downgraded and then the other woman is almost like a mythologized it's about how men only fantasize about those who he cannot conquer and how men tend to construct women as symbols and then they blame the woman once they become symbols for them but it's also just a very interesting concept and i'm sure it's not taken seriously but it's so widely known that people will even use the categories to determine what kind of x they were so like your last x are they your white rose or your red rose to the point that the question can even be asked at dinner parties would you rather be a white rose to your ex or a red rose to your ex oh like asking asking a girl yeah okay there's even memes about it with some people hating the concept of the white rose because a lot of girls have been compared to a guy's first name and then first love and it's really fucking annoying because typically first loves they say it's not even a real relationship so like you're in this relationship when you're in middle school high school sometimes college you never even have a real relationship with that person to see all the bad things that come from being in a relationship because there's a lot of hardship so of course you idolize the relationship that has no disappointment in it because you weren't old enough to be disappointed by the relationship it's just people are saying it's very annoying to be compared to the first love in relationships that's so interesting these are very like chinese specific yeah struggles of you know couples and relationship i know exactly what they're talking about though yeah and i feel like you don't really hear that a lot in the u.s yeah yeah because in china like i think even up until okay so before college relationships pretty much forbidden by school and by parents you're not allowed to publicly be dating right very different from here so there a lot of these relationship is like underground it's forbidden so it's like very subtle you you pass a no maybe You look at someone, you barely touch hands when you're going out. like it's this very subtle type of relationship so people have this like very pureness frame of lens when you're looking back at it maybe it's very bizarre it's really weird yeah it's really weird because i feel like in the u.s when you think of relationships in high school you're like oh yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah it's so strange but i just think that the comparison is very toxic and ivy hates the fact that tony will always compare her to his high school ex-girlfriend that he dated on and off in high school and in college his first love and her name is jiang jiang the ex-girlfriend was that in u.s or was that in china in china but they all come to the u.s all three of them when did they come to u.s this was during their phd years oh so they finished college and all that wow i mean they all went to the same college in china and then they all immigrated to the united states and then they all start working for alphabet so all of yeah well some of them work for google some of them work for subsidiaries of alphabet which is the parent company of google wow that's messy yeah very messy but that will come up but tony will compare ivy to his very first love jiang comparing their appearances their education which was practically the same their income hobbies and their education and their education and their education and their hobbies interests even their personality traits even going as far to imply that if ivy was not his wife and had he married jiang the ex-girlfriend instead of ivy he probably would be living better now the fuck i don't think it's very easy to cheat on your partner these days i feel like everything has a digital footprint text messages emails instagram dms snapchat yeah you can make the messages go away but they can still see when you were last active i think you can see like top friends or whatever that's changing you can delete as much as you want but there's going to be ways that you're going to get caught maybe they're not going to see the exact messages but they're going to see something that's weird even things that you think don't have a paper trail or you forget that they do like venmo a few years ago even uber you you were not able to delete a ride from your ride history on uber you can do that now i think they got a lot of complaints i don't know why you would need to delete it like who's deleting it but now they've fixed it so that you can actually delete specific rides from your ride history so when you go to your account and go to ride history you can delete specific rides but one of the more common ways as of recently is in the files the what people will cheat in the files what file google documents it sounds so strange but it's rather common these days people will use a google doc like a shared doc to have conversations in real time oh my god because when you share a google doc people can comment and it updates instantly yeah so they use it yes and no one goes through their partner's google docs because you're like what's in there nothing work stuff i guess that's very on brand with their job right so i mean but one person on reddit posts my husband used google docs for three years to communicate with his affair partner they had a shared google doc where they would talk and make plans i mean it was simple but effective i read it all the virtual sex the i love yous the secret meetings i had my soon-to-be ex-husband's phone to ease my mind but in three years i never thought to check google docs in a shared document you can type back and forth like a chat even leaving comments to things and it gets updated in real time because typically people use it to collaborate on work or school projects and it's unconventional but that's the whole point that way nobody will know who you're talking to your partner's going through your text messages highly unlikely they're going through your google docs to make sure you're doing anything weird there so she's just letting everyone know hey just so you know check the google docs wow well we know someone who use oh cash transfer app right yes so there's like this cash transfer app where you can message someone i guess to like send money and they were using that chat which is crazy yeah but it's not public but still and google docs is also i think both of them are equally so insane especially if it's titled like google docs if it's titled something as boring as like budget sheet for q2 q q3 who's gonna look at it if you want to look at something very private someone's inner thoughts something that they're hiding you might even go through the apple notes app you're not gonna go into google docs you're not gonna go through somebody's google docs unless unless you're ivy and you happen to stumble upon a google doc file between tony and his first love from college jung the ex-girlfriend it is a nearly 20 year old girl 20 000 word document detailing how tony and jung the ex-girlfriend miss each other how right before tony proposed to ivy he had first asked jung the ex-girlfriend if she would consider transferring to work at google instead of working at waymo which is all part of the same umbrella company but instead of working at waymo yes that's like the driverless cars she works at waymo transfer to google move to the bay area because she's working at waymo in seattle move to the bay area and they could buy a house together they talk about how jung the ex-girlfriend said no i don't want to do that and that's why he does everything else with ivy instead so once the ex-girlfriend said no he proposes to ivy he gets married to her and they buy a house in the bay area together but he would still be commenting and writing in the google doc saying things like i miss the old days which is already bad enough because you know why are they still talking to each other jung the ex-girlfriend also writes that this is supposed to be like a she started this google doc to send it as a let's get rid of the past feelings and get on our relationship she says it's more like a personal diary for herself to just hold on to the things and then write it down and let go of the past which she feels the need to send this google doc to tony and that's how they start this weird conversation this 20 000 word conversation on google docs wait so this mess this whole doc was sent by jung the ex-girlfriend when did she send this this is way after tony's married bought the house has two cats everything oh this is like two three months before before ivy is killed so jung reached out first yeah really she reached out first because she said she was just going through a really tough time in her life she says out of everyone in her life he's really the only one that she can confide in she writes in the document that before all of this before tony married ivy before jung the ex-girlfriend got engaged to her boyfriend tony was the only one that was there for her and she was the only one and they were just at different places in their lives she thought it would be okay to move on but then she found out that her boyfriend turned fiance that she's dating he also works for alphabet he works for deep mind google deep mind yeah this is crazy yeah they all work in the same building no no no so they live in seattle jung the ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend live in seattle so their offices are in seattle and then um tony and ivy they work on the google campus in the city of seattle they run into each other a lot at work you'll see why later but it's just interesting that they all work for the same parent company interesting yeah well september 2023 jung the ex-girlfriend finds out that her fiance has been soliciting sex workers and the two of them end their engagement she's distressed she's in need of emotional support and comfort and the only person that she can think of reaching out to is her ex-boyfriend tony apparently it's like a thing in these tech centered areas so the bay area seattle where a lot of the tech companies are centered they have a lot of these massage parlors that are just fronts for sex work and a lot of the clientele that go there are just engineers software engineers tech bros they go they get their massages done yeah they get these massages done and for the police it's very easy it's kind of like what they do on canal street where they like bust the counterfeiters it's like a routine they'll go there every once in a while and just now ex-fiance was arrested at one of these massage parlors for soliciting sex work so she finds out and i'm sure there's a humiliation aspect to it because all these tech people they run in the same circles she's in need of emotional support she's in need of comfort and the only person that she can think of reaching out to is her ex-boyfriend tony she sends him this very lengthy google document and she says that this is just me trying to get closure on our relationship as i'm just categorically thinking about it and i'm like okay i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this about every romantic relationship that i've had and what led me to this point in my life where i'm now ending my engagement i am also looking back at our very long relationship and i'm having a lot of thoughts and feelings i don't even want to send it to you but i'm gonna send it to you she writes in the document if i had known i would have been betrayed by my fiance like this i might as well have accepted your request to get back together a few years ago before you married ivy you know the request to move to california buy a house together the only problem is if tony were to divorce ivy and start over with jiang the ex-girlfriend she says there would be way too much drama and jiang the ex-girlfriend is not ready for that drama she also doesn't want that type of reputation to follow her around and she's like you and ivy bought a house together so i feel like there's going to be a lot of financial splitting of the assets and like no offense i don't really want to date you if you're broke damn she said that yeah basically why the hell are you sending this letter then yeah so she's like you're gonna have a bad reputation you're also gonna be broke so i can't be with you if you don't want to date me but i just wish i could turn back in time and then take your offer from years ago before you married ivy and you know that would have been much easier i just do not have a single clue about the inner workings of such a woman and her mind but they're both commenting back and forth after she sends this google document and it's almost like they're texting and in the document it's very clear that the two of them have even met up in person and ivy's reading this yes they've met up after ivy's married has the house they actually meet up two months before ivy is dead wait how do ivy find find this there's two variations um some people suspect that she decided to go looking because there were lots of things sending her sensors off that there was an affair happening and then there's another version where some people speculate that maybe tony showed her the document to say see she's the one that reached out to me i wasn't the one that was trying to seek her out but we know for sure ivy saw this because she comments on this google doc later they met about two months before ivy is killed and this is around ivy and tony's wedding anniversary tony decides that he's going to meet his ex-girlfriend when ivy sees this google document she makes a comment of her own with her own account and she writes i hate you i hate all of you and she will be dead by the end of that week wong and her husband are very nervous they're waiting outside the front door they already rang at once and wong is she's reaching for the doorbell again she's hesitating she's debating whether or not she should bring it a second time or is that that's way too clingy when the door opens standing there at the end of the entryway is ivy which is wong's really good friend so wong and her husband are standing there and ivy just opened the door ivy and wong have been close girlfriends for years now their parents even know each other they have the same trajectory of life they both immigrated from china and they both work in the tech industry and they kind of get along in that sense where they just click both of them came to the u.s they have a bond and naturally wong's husband and tony become friends but they're not as close as wong and ivy they're just friends because they're the husbands really so wong is checking in on ivy and she just knows that ivy is not doing well when ivy opens that door her eyes are bloodshot it looks like she's been crying all day and ivy lets the couple in wong and her husband awkwardly sit on the couch in the living room tony's also there he's like barely engaging he's for the most part very quiet giving short answers to any and all questions that wong and her husband ask such as everything okay okay neither tony or ivy mentioned that they were just fighting like 20 minutes before the door opened and wong is checking in on ivy and she's before Wong and her husband came unannounced. But they don't really need to say anything because this is the most awkward living room gathering that they've ever had. Wong and her husband try to steer the conversation to work. How's work been? You know, because you were talking about work. And Tony will barely respond to any of the questions. Ivy starts responding for him. That, oh, he's just anxious with all the ongoing layoffs in the industry. He's just worried about getting laid off. And if he does, he's going to have a hard time finding another job in the industry. And then the doorbell rings because Wong and her husband had ordered food and she thought maybe if we just eat together, it's going to make it less awkward, like ease some of the tension. They thought it would help. Whatever is happening between Tony and Ivy, it's just very tense and Wong wants to help. So they sit down, they open up all the to-go boxes and Tony is just quiet the entire time. The only time he responds is they go, Tony, do you want some rice? Yeah, that's it. No other response, nothing. He's not even engaging. During dinner, Ivy tries to answer all these questions that Wong and her husband are asking. Oh yeah, he's just stressed from work. He was saying that he was having some like auditory hallucinations recently and muscle tension because he's been so stressed. Wong and her husband don't really know how to respond exactly because this is the first time that they're hearing about something like this, but they want to be supportive. But they say it was just weird because Ivy said that he's experiencing all these crazy things from the stress of work, but they don't see anything out of the ordinary. Nothing indicates that he's like listening to the walls and hears voices where they're not coming from. He just seems quiet. He just seems like he's pissed off even or just got into a fight with his partner. Nothing about it seems like he's having a full mental breakdown. So maybe that's just something he told Ivy. Nobody knows. The rest of that dinner, largely silent. Nobody's really talking. Wong and her husband, they're just offering surface level comfort at this point because what else can they do? And as they're about to leave, after the most awkward dinner that they've ever experienced, when they get outside, Wong's husband goes to the car and Wong is standing there. Ivy pulls her aside and she's telling her, I think I'm going to divorce Tony. What? Why? He's still talking to his ex-girlfriend and we had a fight earlier today and he said things like, my life would have been so much better if it weren't for you. When was this in the timeline? This is a few hours before Ivy is dead. This is the night of? The night of. And Wong wants to stay, but Ivy's like, just go. Like, I'll text you tomorrow. Just go. It's fine. Like, you guys already stayed long enough. I mean, what are they going to do? Go through another awkward dinner? So Wong gets in the car with her husband. They drive off and they just feel really off about this. I mean, the only reason that they even showed up today is because earlier that day, so they just had dinner with Ivy and Tony. But earlier for lunch, they were hosting this huge lunch gathering with like nine of their closest friends. It's been on the calendar for a while, but Ivy texts Wong last minute telling her, hey, we're not going to be able to make it to lunch. She's like, what do you mean? Why? Why? We've been planning this for so long. All of our friends are coming. You have to come. And she's like, no, just Tony's really stressed about work. And so I just don't want to go. The whole lunch, Wong feels really weird about this. She's feeling very uncomfortable. And then a few hours right after lunch, Tony's parents call Wong because all their parents know each other back in China. All their parents live in China, but they all kind of know each other and they know, they know each other. They know each other. They know that all their kids are friends. The parents from China is calling her? Yes. So they're not, it's not like, oh, their parents were all family friends and then the kids were friends. It's like all these kids became friends and then they introduced their parents all to one another. Okay. And they all have each other's WeChat numbers. So Tony's parents are WeChat calling Wong and she's like, what's going on? This is so random. She picks up and Tony's parents are like, hey, listen, I would not have called you unless something serious is happening. But have you seen or have you spoken to Tony or his wife Ivy recently? Tony's, he hasn't been in touch for like the past month and this is very unlike him. And when I tried to talk to Ivy, it seemed like they were going through a fight. It seemed like they were just not doing well. So I don't know what's going on. Wong is like, well, I was supposed to see them for lunch, but they didn't show up. She hangs up and this seems to be the biggest factor of why she goes over for dinner. I think that if she, if her friend just said, I'm not going, maybe she wouldn't have gone for dinner because it's very intrusive for her to just barge in and be like, why are you guys going over for dinner? Why are you guys fighting? Tell me about your fight. Let's talk about work. It seems like a lot, right? But it's the fact that Tony's parents even called her. So she's like, I got to do something. She gets her husband in the car and is like, we have to go visit Tony and Ivy. Like, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight unless we go visit Tony and Ivy. They even order the food almost as an excuse to stay longer and try to get more answers and try to help more. But it just is so uncomfortable. There's no, there's no talking. There's no reasoning. There's no comforting. There's nothing. The whole night throughout the entire dinner, even after, their demeanors are off. They both seem unusually quiet. Ivy, there were moments where Ivy would be responding and then she would just zone out. Tony's even more quiet than normal. So Wong and her husband, they drive home that night and they just cannot shake this feeling that something bad is happening. Tony and Ivy's relationship has been really rough since the beginning. Technically on paper, I would say that Tony and Ivy are perfect for each other. At least most people would think that. Both of them graduated from Tsinghua University, which is one of China's top universities. It's like their Yale. It's their Harvard. Yeah. And even there's, you know, those little quizzes that give you impossible options. Like you can pick to have one, $5 million. Your pet gets to live forever. You get to marry your soulmate. You get to graduate from Tsinghua. Most people would choose Tsinghua because it's not even just, like you get the respect, the reputation. It is the most elite school that you can get into. And education is weighted much heavier in Asia. It doesn't just make you a better work prospect. It's just the prestige. So they both major in computer science and engineering at Tsinghua University. Then both of them immigrate to the US and they finish. Does that mean like his first love also is from Tsinghua? Yeah. Then they both immigrate to the US and both Tony and Ivy, they finish their PhD in computer science at UC San Diego. So once they graduate from UC San Diego, they go naturally to the Bay Area to join. Well, they were just trying to join one of the Mango companies. They used to call it something else, but now they call it Mango. So it's Meta, Apple, NVIDIA, Google, and OpenAI. When you say that, like they were not dating in college in China though, right? They were not dating at Tsinghua University. They start kind of becoming closer at UC San Diego. Okay, okay. Were they friends? Some people say that they were friends because they knew of each other at Tsinghua, but he was still on and off with his ex-girlfriend at Tsinghua University. I see. Then at UC San Diego, they were friends, they kind of knew each other, and then they started slowly dating. Got it. So right after graduating, they both don't actually immediately go to Google. Tony goes to Google and Ivy actually goes to Amazon as a software engineer. And Tony specifically starts working at the YouTube Shorts algorithm department of Google. So on paper, it seems like the two of them are on the same page. They're resonating. are stacked, but for the very super cutthroat Chinese matchmakers they would say that tony is marrying down which makes me want to punch the nearest car salesman in my vicinity but they're just i just really dislike east asian culture sometimes certain aspects obviously but they say that for high school tony attended chengdu number seven high school it's widely regarded as one of the top schools in the province or even the entire country of china so chengdu number seven is known as a key point high school so they receive priority when it comes to funding and resources they get the best teachers they have the most funding for educational resources they have a stunning campus that looks more like a college campus than a high school they have many parks and koi ponds on the campus of a high school they also have the highest number of kids going to the ivy leagues in china in 2022 that one high school had 70 students admitted into qinghua and beijing university in 2023 79 students 2024 90 students 2025 99 students admitted they also have a study abroad program which tony went to for his senior year of the high school it's fifty thousand dollars a semester just so he can study in the u.s classmates remember tony coming from a very very well-off family they believe that his dad was a leader in some sort of government-affiliated organization he had a thing for model airplanes he was like a key member of the school's science and technology association that his parents were involved in he would also write these like study tips for other classmates of like how to systematically remember material yeah there he was a student he even won a province-wide statewide award when he was in elementary school for outstanding youth citizen of sichuan province so they're saying he went to this high school and his parents are very powerful in the government and they seem very well off ivy also comes from a very good high school a key point high school in her province really cutthroat school the school has a very brutal hierarchy starting in middle school where you get a rolling class system so students are ranked and reshuffled based on exams and they're not going to be able to get into a high school because they're not going to be able to get into a high school because they're not going to get into a high school you're ranking yeah so class one is known as the key point class they get the best teachers and the best resources the brightest students toward the end all the way to class 27 you really have students that are like left to fend for themselves if you will and this high school is already like the smartest of the smart kids so if you're in the more advanced classes the elite and key point classes you typically end up studying a lot more it's relentless it's normal for students to forego lunch breaks and routinely study past midnight some of them will stand up against the walls in the middle of the day to stay awake to memorize material the school though this school specifically that she went to so tony school most of the kids were really well off ivy school there's a huge wealth gap some students come from very privileged backgrounds similar to tony they get to eat whatever they want spend as much money on school supplies as they want get the latest technology everything whereas students who don't do well you know who they are because most of the time they're studying and eating steamed buns and pickles is it ivy yeah ivy comes from an average she doesn't come from a family that's not doing well which honestly you would think that this is a better catch because yeah it's more impressive yeah but i guess when you are talking about east asian culture of prestige and family lineage they're like well tony's a super catch and ivy is just a poor girl who clawed through it to become even more successful who cares about that so she comes from a very average family i mean they were okay so much so that even during ivy's senior year of high school ivy's mom quit her job for a year which is actually very common um amongst the the more average families in terms of socioeconomic status for the privileged families usually one of the parents don't work but um for the average families one of the parents will take off for a year because it's not like the schools in the u.s where you naturally live very close to especially if you're in the public school system because that's how it's zoned you go to a school you have to travel to certain schools especially if you get into one of these key point high schools so her mom quit her job so they rented this tiny little apartment near the high school campus so that she could support her full-time they're known as full-time study support moms there's like a whole culture and language and groups about it parents relocate because they want to eliminate long commutes they want to make sure that the kids don't have to do laundry commute they're cooking all the food ivy maintains consistent high rankings all through high school and ultimately she scores 702 out of 750 on the 2014 gaokao yeah like the exam of the college entry exam and she is the city's science top scholar so she scores the highest in science with one teacher saying about ivy she's very well behaved and introverted not usually expressive but she's particularly outstanding in the science subjects still balanced across the others including english and mandarin her grades are excellent and the gaokao is exceptional she also holds herself to very very high standards the teacher recalls that one time she forgot to bring her books to class and the teacher is like okay i know you ivy like you're not one of those kids that's messing around and forgetting carelessly like it's just one day that you forgot your books she was like sobbing just in the corner because she was so disappointed in herself she was so upset with herself for making a dumb mistake like that but because and both of them end up at but because tony's parents are high up in government positions and ivy's parents are just normal well-to-do people the matchmaking according to a lot of people was not equal according to a lot of people that you would maybe want to punch in the face but they're not working with matchmakers they're just naturally meeting each other at either chinhua or uc san diego they start dating officially around the time that they're at uc san diego and a fellow classmate says their relationship seems really respectful and harmonious i mean that's really the only way that you can describe they're not really people that tell you a lot though so it's not like everyone would know about their dating history they're not really someone that like posts lovey-dovey things on social media they're not going around just like making out in hallways they're just very private they say that ivy barely spoke i mean she's very quiet she's not the type to be like oh this is my boyfriend this is who i'm dating let me tell you about my relationship so people don't really know but it just seemed like a good match just based off their energies so when they graduate they're still dating now working at separate companies and ivy decides that she's going to make the very unusual choice of leaving amazon to go work at google now i will say i have heard that google is a better working environment than amazon however ivy was up for a promotion when she left amazon so they are all making very very good money yeah it estimated probably total compensation two three hundred thousand dollars a year each yes each right yeah okay but like he was comparing her to her ex in money and income right she was he was talking about that yeah so i was looking at i mean i couldn't get a exact but based off of their job descriptions it seemed like maybe the ex-girlfriend was making a few tens of thousands of dollars more a year which is a lot but not really when you're making three hundred thousand dollars a year it's not like one of them is making three hundred thousand dollars and the other one's making fifty thousand dollars yeah it's almost like you just want to put her down for whatever everything right everything because that's what he does at amazon so she's working at amazon and like i said yes i have heard that google is a working environment so naturally a lot of people might leave amazon to work at google depending on the position that they want to get into but ivy is up for a promotion at amazon so technically a lot of people are saying it would be a lot more advantageous had she stayed at amazon got the promotion maybe even worked in that position for a little while and then she could actually yes reapply to google and she could probably get in at a better position and a better pay total comp yeah that's that's what a normal person would do but why did she move to google all of a sudden like did she just really move to google was there an opening and she was like you know what i don't mind taking a pay cut and i'll just go work at google but people who are really close to the couple say that's probably not why they say that tony is very calm but he seems really controlling and there were lots of from what people remember tense fights about tony doesn't know anyone at amazon and he doesn't know if ivy is talking to or potentially even flirting with a lot of male colleagues because he would never know he just always seemed very uncomfortable and i don't know if he's going to be able to do it but i think that's what i think is really important and i think that's what i think is really important anxious that ivy was cheating on him which seems like a master class and just projection but one person close to the couple states that ivy was not excited to work at google i mean she likes google but like she was really excited to get promoted at amazon she was about to be up for this promotion she had her whole career track that was going well it would make more sense to get the promotion and then you know move to a different company the only reason she moved was to maintain her relationship with tony there were rumors that tony at gatherings with people a former classmate of his was going to be a it was weird during gatherings he would constantly be glued to her side and he would just watch her closely but it doesn't come off as like the kind of closeness that you expect from a very affectionate couple of like oh he just wants to be by her oh he just wants to help her when she's grabbing something it almost seems like he's analyzing every single person that she's talking to every single thing that she's saying it feels like he's monitoring her it didn't feel sweet it didn't feel oh like he's just a little protected it just felt creepy it felt overbearing and uncomfortable like aggressively but it didn't feel like he was monitoring her it didn't feel like he was possessive to the point where the two of them would get into some sort of argument at the gathering they're never like fighting in front of people but it's like you can tell that they fought at the gathering because suddenly the energy shifts everybody's uncomfortable it's just something happened he felt like she could easily form close bonds with male employees so there were rumors that he's constantly accusing her of cheating on him with male colleagues he wouldn't even let her go shopping with female friends without his presence there so he convinces her to come to google and he's like it's actually going to be a lot more convenient for us too because we could commute together and like we have the same perks like it's just and google's better everybody likes working at google more which again invalid but like you know meanwhile Ivy misses out on a potential promotion starts a whole new job Tony is out there telling friends while this is happening she's giving up all of this Tony is out there telling friends I didn't even really want to get married to begin with I just kind of felt pressured because everybody around me is getting married everybody around me is buying a house everybody's having a kid so I just thought that that's what I have to do and I just thought the person that I would do that with is Ivy because she's the one that I'm dating and with that I'm going to leave you with part one of this audio podcast part two is going to be up ASAP but in part two we're going to go through the trial all of the victim blaming that happens because everybody I think the reason is no one can really understand or grasp why Tony did what he did and then what we know what happened yes yes we know how he killed her and it's worse than what most people will think and then all the victim blaming comes afterwards because nobody understands why he killed her and there are people out there who genuinely think well there must be a reason and it's just so sick the trial was a mess a lot of Chinese netizens they came to court in person a lot of Chinese Americans who have nothing to do with the tech industry they showed up to the courthouse in SF to just figure out what the hell is happening was ex-girlfriend there ex-girlfriend testified she was forced to testify and people hate her so with that being said stay tuned for part two and stay safe I'll see you in the next one