Gone in 60 Minutes

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We've got a great show for you tonight. But first, let's get into it. What a week. And what a week it has been for people getting big jobs that make everybody big mad on Tuesday. Trump named finance here and one of his donors, Bill Pulti, who is his current housing finance director to be director of national intelligence. Pulti pictured here making the same face we all did about finding out that Trump had named Bill Pulti to be acting director of national intelligence. Hey, you know that job that you were going to apply for that says you need three to five years of experience, but you only had one year of experience and you didn't apply. Send in that resume, babe. Bet on yourself. Pulti has no national security or intelligence experience and his iPad password is his birthday said a Chinese spy laughing with the other spies. What Pulti lacks an experience he makes up for in a willingness to do Trump's bidding. Pulti used confidential mortgage information to target Trump's political enemies, including New York attorney general, Justice James, the feds Lisa Cook and vegan senator Adam Schiff. And by the way, Pulti is not even particularly good at this. The charges against James were dismissed and then a grand jury refused to return a new indictment. None of the other referrals to DOJ have at least so far resulted in any charges. All of this has led to an open investigation by the government accountability office into Bill Pulti into how he access private mortgage data and subverted the inspector general to make these criminal referrals. So Pulti is not even competent at being a Trump stooch, but maybe just hasn't found his special talent. Maybe his innate gift is integrating foreign military domestic intelligence from 18 different agencies and he's just never had the chance. Like that time they let me pitch one time in little league, assuming I'd be bad because I was small and gay and bad. But then I threw a heater and I saw the two coaches give each other a look that was like, hey, that little fat can throw. And then I stopped playing sports forever. That was that was the first one. Several Republicans were less than psyched about the picks and a majority leader, John Thune told reporters, quote, we don't need a weaponized DNI. Pulti responded by saying that Thune is really starting to sound like the type of guy that commits mortgage fraud. Mitch McConnell said that the DNI must have a, quote, extensive national security experience and that no nominee who falls short of this requirement will earn my vote. And I know a thing or two about falling short said McConnell coming to at the bottom of a staircase. One person close to Pulti explained the decision to CNN saying, this isn't something to overthink. President Trump wanted someone in that position who is a true loyalist. Pulti speaks to the president more than anyone I know. They really are very close said Don Jr. staring at an empty wedding chair. Even without Senate confirmation, Pulti could serve as acting intelligence chief through the midterm elections, which seems to be the goal. Here's what Trump said when asked why he chose this unqualified person. Well, he's very smart. He's a person who's got high integrity and it's an acting position. It's not a problem. He's not going to be permanent because, you know, I don't think he'd want to be permanent. But he's a very smart guy and he may find out some things about the rigged elections, etc. Don't worry. He won't be in the job long just long enough to fulfill your worst possible fears. In other curses linked in news over at the Pentagon, the Trump administration appointed a convicted January 6 rioter to be part of a counterterrorism office involved in sensitive operations, including, according to the Post, Embassy security and hostage rescue. This guy does seem more qualified than Pulti though when you think about it. He knows how to navigate the security of government facilities and if the insurrectionist had actually found Mike Pence, he might have had some pretty good experience negotiating a hostage release as well. You know, they would because they would have grabbed him, you know, they would have grabbed him because they wanted to fucking kill him. They wanted to they were trying to find the vice president of to fucking kill him. They wanted to kill him dead. Yeah. Could have shot on Nancy Pelosi's desk too. And that part was cool. Here is this rioter, Elias Irizari, in the middle of storming the Capitol when he was 19. You know what? I just think it's nice to see a teenager off his phone, part of a community in the real world. According to prosecutors, Irizari entered the building through a broken window while wielding a metal pole that we didn't personally hit anybody with it. Sometimes just having the pole in your hand is enough. Happy Pride. It's worth saying Irizari expressed regret almost immediately. He described his decision to be part of the riot as quote the worst mistake of my life. He called January 6th the largest attack on our democracy since the Civil War and he said that the very response to January 6 proves that as a country we are still strong in our democratic values. On the other hand, prosecutors said there was a gap on his phone between January 1 and January 8, suggesting he may have deleted messages related to how he was involved in the insurrection. If Irizari was so changed by January 6th and so appreciative of the response, it's a bit strange to then take a job for the guy who pardoned everyone involved, including him, claims the whole thing as a hoax and just tried to steal $1.8 billion from taxpayers for an insurrectionist relief fund. Regardless, I don't think one mistake should define you for the rest of your life. I do think one mistake should rule out sensitive counterterrorism jobs at the Defense Department. We don't even know if the guy is basic Pentagon skills, like how many gin and tonics can he put down before lunch? And then there's the drama at 60 minutes, thanks to Happy Pride, CBS News, Editor-in-Chief, Barry Weiss, really defying the stereotype about lesbians being good at fixing stuff. Last week, Weiss tapped Nick Bilton to be the new executive producer of 60 minutes. Bilton was one of five flawed children to find a golden ticket in a chocolate bar. Now, Bilton as a tech reporter, he became a filmmaker, he doesn't have any TV news experience and will take over the job from Tonya Simon, who's been ousted from the show after more than 30 years. Bilton, who I need to disclose to all of you, is a friend of mine and was invited to my wedding and who I did have to bump to RSVP, started the job on Monday, and I'm sorry. But a program like 60 minutes needs the kind of executive producer who RSVP's to a wedding on time. In that first staff meeting, 60 minutes correspondent Scott Pelley interrupted Bilton to say that Weiss quote, "does not love this place, she was brought into kill it, and is doing exactly that." Which is shocking to hear, usually the only thing lesbians kill is the vibe. Pelley also asked Bilton, who again started that morning, why he'd accepted a position at 60 minutes knowing that you will never be welcome here. Continued Pelley, no one here will ever tell you where the bathrooms are, we have taken down all the signs like the Ukrainians during the Russian invasion. You will be holding it for the rest of your fucking life. In the exchange, Bilton apparently said, quote, "I care so deeply about this institution, only for Pelley to interrupt with, oh please." At which point, Bilton started slapping himself in the face, trying to wake up from what must be a first day of work nightmare. Bilton was naked, by the way, and his first great teacher was trying to get it as teeth. Scott Pelley, meanwhile, is in this meeting like a 60 minutes Gundam. You're not just chocolate at me, you're facing the full powers of all 60 minutes correspondents living in dead, and right now I'm combining the powers of Anderson Cooper and Andy Rooney gay cunt. That was the second one. Teddy, that was the second one. Alright, I think we're good. You're okay, still? We're good. Yeah, you're great. He's doing great. On Tuesday, Nick's second day, CBS fired Scott Pelley after 37 years at the network, and Pelley's already been replaced by, it says, "Housing Finance Director Bill Pulti." Oh no! Now, maybe Nick would have been in a more forgiving mood about Pelley's diatribe if he had made it to my wedding. There was a blueberry walnut cake with a lemon buttercream. We had clowns. We did. We had clowns at my wedding. I've never seen clowns in a wedding before. By Wednesday, Nick's third day, pelly responded with a letter lambasting the network for firing the show senior leadership and two of its correspondents saying, quote, "good people for silence because they stood for fairness and against the forces of political bias." I texted Nick, and this is real, "Hump Day!" No response. I'm getting maybe not in a joking mood just yet, I'm getting it. On Thursday, built an email 60 minutes to affers reassuring them that the show will continue in good faith, respect, and trust while praising Bill Whitaker, John Wortham, and Leslie Stahl. "Oh, that's actually nice to hear," said Leslie Stahl, from inside the air duct on the 11th floor of BlackRock just above Nick's new office, removing her bala clava and recorking that jar of fire ants. It's back it up, back it up Leslie. But I, for one, am looking forward to the new 60 minutes. I'm Pennywise the Clown. I'm Darth Maul. I'm Kyle Rittenhouse, those stories in Ricky Gervais tonight on 60 minutes. And we've got a great show for you tonight when we come back. It's time for us. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Not everyone experiences summer as an endless parade of hot dogs, vacations, and pool parties. For some people, life's woes don't abate when the temperature climbs and the days get longer. If you've got the summertime blues, or simply feeling overwhelmed, BetterHelp is there when you need it. There's over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp has the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally and it works. With an average rating of 4.9 into 5. For a live session, based on over 1.7 million client reviews, they have quality therapists. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US. They help the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. 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Todd Glass and Blair Saki will be out in just a moment. But first, if you are a friend of the pod, thank you. Thanks to the friends of the pod that are here tonight. And if you're not, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Subscribers get a ton of bonus content, including ad-free episodes of all your favorite pods. Access to our excellent sub-stack newsletters, including open tabs, Dan Fifer's Polar Coaster, and ad-free breaking news episodes. Plus, your subscription supports independent media that brings you exclusives like this week's PodSafe America Only Friends with me and John Favreau Plus. Subscribers get special perks at cricket events, including at CricketCon, some discounts, too. So, head to Cricket.com/Friends to learn more and unlock all of the incredible benefits, just incredible. And if you're in the LA area, you can still get tickets at Cricket.com/events to check out our new studio and upcoming guests, such as SNL alum Jay Farrow, plus comedian and literal clown school graduate, Zach Zucker, and Domiz are very special pride episode on June 16th, featuring Otsuko Otsuko. Clark and Delicado, Mickey Meeks, Bruce Foulanche, Sabrina Jelise, and more. And now, please welcome to the stage, the podcasters, comedians, comedians, it's Todd Glass. Hi, good to see you, buddy. Come on in. You're good. I got dressed up for you, people. Do I sit right there? Yeah, sit right there. That's the classic. It's comfortable. It's a comfortable sofa. Yes, it's great. I found it at the store. I bought this couch. I bought this couch. Good to meet you. Nice to meet you too. I know. It's so strange. I feel like I know you. You want to know why? I'll tell you partially why. I watched you on last comic standing. The very first time you're on it. Oh, thank you. And I remember thinking, you're not as funny as dad fan. So I think it all made sense. What happened? All right. Thank you. Hey, you like social media. No, you made this way. You're going for it. You're really doing bits on there. You're really pushing it. Not that you need this answer, but during the pandemic, I stumbled upon TikTok. And I was like one of the only comedians. I liked it. There's a lot of garbage on every. There's a lot of garbage on television. There's a lot of garbage comedians. There's a lot of garbage music. But if you sift through it and you find the gems. So I wasn't mad at it. I thought, to be honest, I thought it could be really funny and also sweet and kind. So I jumped in. I wasn't like when I did Twitter. It wasn't like, it was okay. But I wasn't like, you know, it wasn't my favorite thing to do. But I'm a bit person. So I've been having a ball over there. So let's show one of your, I really find it. This is you at a ring doorbell. Let's roll the clip. Hello? Do you have a black priest? There's a black priest with it's lights on. I figured I'd save someone a dead battery. I don't know if that's you. No. No, okay. All right. Have a good night. All right. Thanks a lot. Okay. Okay. This motherfucker getting insane. Thank you. It's sitting your house with your pencil dick in you. Stupid wife. And I hope you haven't fucked in 20 years. Okay. My cat gets in every video that he possibly can. So I like this video. It's because it's funny. That's the first thing about it. That's what I always go for. I think it's funny. But I also appreciate it because I feel like what I see. I see you feel. People are getting rude all the time and it's driving you crazy. Is that right? Do you feel that? There's something, it feels like you're attacking a kind of rudeness that you're experiencing. But yeah, but I don't know if it's getting worse. I think it's always been, you know, there's always been worse. I think it's getting worse. No, I don't. Do you think it's getting worse? You don't. I don't. That's good. I think it is. You do? Oh, yeah. Really? I think people are not getting meaner. I think they're getting more ostentatiously oblivious about other people. And most people agree with you. Yeah. But that's not a good sign. Right. But I could be wrong. Right. It could be just an experience. It could be that we're just seeing more people and experiencing more. Yeah. What do you think? You know, I don't want to say I'm argumentative. But I always, like, no, I don't think most of the time people go, like, oh, it's getting worse. I go, where people used to be nicer. There was more of a civility back in the day. But I don't think so. I look at some of the things we did. So I don't know. I think there's always been nice people. There's always been kind people. But I am making fun of that. You know, whenever you do something nice or something and just no thank you. You know, when you let someone in in traffic, you ever let somebody in. It's like, what the fuck? You know, it's like, give me a thank you. You know? Yes. I practice, and it's unhealthy, what I call road justice. And that is where I try to be, I try to make sure the roads are fair. And so I try to be really generous when I think the situation is called for. Yeah. But I also try to make sure that we're exacting penalties for misbehavior. And I know that's wrong. I know it's wrong. It's a bad part of my brain. It's bad. And I'm going to get killed. But I like it. But it's in there. And so I like letting people in. And then you're like, wow. There's a feels like there's like, if people understood how good it felt to let people in, they might do it more. Yeah. Instead of what they're doing out there on the roads these days. Yeah. Yeah, it always feels good to let somebody in. There was a guy the other day. I let him in. He didn't thank me. I'm like, this fuck. You know? And then he opened his window and waved at me. And I started the tear up. I'm like, oh, I was wrong. That's humanity. And now we're dating. And now you're dating. We're having clowns that are wedding. I'm paying attention, you people. Remember when you came out on Mark Maren's podcast in 2012? I do. I do. Were you hoping he would also come out? No. Or. I had that happen when I was younger. When I started to tell people. And I was so nervous. But I would have like a crush on somebody. And I thought they were. And then I would tell them. And then they would not be gay. And then I was like, nah, I wasted this tell. Yeah. You just opened up for no reason. Yeah. You just let somebody into your inner experience. It got closer to them for no purpose. Right. Right. What a shame. Mark, doing that was the best thing I ever did because before that, I really thought I was gonna go to my death with it, the being of the closet. I just, I had a plan. Now, look, I have perspective now, and it's years later, but I had a plan. I'm not even making this up, like it sounds absurd, that how I could hide for the rest of my life and that I was gonna meet a girl that somehow, I don't, I hadn't had cancer. Okay, right, you get where I'm going with this, and then when, I didn't think about the person or the life, so it's not, I wasn't being mean, but that she would die, and then people go, "How come Todd never got married?" I don't know, he never got over Rachel. Never got over Rachel. And I'm not even joking, that was like a plan, and my brother once later, he goes, "Well, how were you gonna meet a girl with cancer?" I go, "I, please, I didn't think about it. I go to the hospital, you know?" I, maybe this is glib. I think that's the easiest part. Meeting the girl with cancer? Yeah, then what's the hard part? Well, I think hiding who you truly are for the rest of your life. Yes, that was true. (laughter) I thought that part was. That was pretty clear. I got comfortable in the lie, but it was great. I got in the car, you know what, seriously? I got in the car after I did it. I went on a podcast and did it, the more marriage show, and I ugly cried. Only for about 60 seconds. And I was so happy. He said, "Get out of here." Then it was over, then it was over, and it was the best thing I ever did, and I was very nervous to do it, obviously. Yeah, well, I remember when you came out, and I remember thinking, "Oh, like, because I remember when I saw you," whether it was on Las Comasanti, or other kind of stand-up appearances, that I was like, "I just thought of you as a straight guy, "but I really liked you." And I realized now in hindsight, like, "Oh, there was a frequency there, "because you were doing bits about Andrea, "which was really about your long-term partner, "who was a man the whole time." Right, right. And I feel like there must have. Do you hear that from people who kind of like, do you have a gay fan base at all? They're like, "Oh, you know what, I kind of. "I didn't know, but I kind of on some level knew." Some people said I talked about a girlfriend more than any comedians that had girlfriends, but they were true stories. I just switched the sex, which is really indirectly, you know, sort of an experiment that I didn't know that I was conducting, is that no one in the audience ever went, "God, I was talking about his girlfriend, "because it was really about a God." Nobody went, "I just didn't relate all his stories, "they were all like, "Oh, my God, it's exactly like us." Everybody in the crowd applauding every night, "This is just like us, this guy and his girlfriend." Meanwhile, I'm talking about a guy which sort of says relationships or relationships. I wonder about some of like, "This isn't right." But we do that again and you're all applauded. (audience applause) You show some God damn respect. You show some God. But anyway, other than that, I feel good. But I wonder about some of those like, this is something that doesn't ring true about this guy. He doesn't hate his girlfriend enough. You know what I mean? He seems to have a pretty sort of sweet and generous relationship with this woman and that's not the usual tone from these comedians. Usually they fucking hate their wives. Yeah, something's going on here. Yeah, a lot of guys are so worried about, they're always worried that gay people marrying her but they're gonna ruin the sanctity of marriage, you know, gay people. And I'm like, I think you guys are doing a great job all by yourselves, the way you talk about women and the way the ball and chain and every joke, the sexist jokes. It's like, then where you don't need gay people to ruin the sanctity of marriage. We'll be back right after this. (audience laughs) Now Todd, it's Pride Month. Yes, it is. And you know what that means? Discourse. That's what we're gonna talk about in our segment. We're calling Breaking the Glass ceiling. I like it. (bell rings) All right. Yeah. We're getting it. Let's start with an easy one. What do you think about the word queer? You know, I'm afraid I might not agree with you. No, you could, there's nothing to be afraid of. Well, I wouldn't, you know, for me obviously, the first reaction is why. Like queer is just so negative and queer. But I don't, I'm okay with some people want to use that word. And I think the problem, I know that who I am in awe of, who said, David's an arisen. Right, right, right. So that's who also I don't. But I think when you say, oh, you know, like, oh, now they're calling it this and now they're calling it that, you sort of feed for the lack of a better way to say, you feed idiots that don't want to learn any new verbiage. So when you go, when someone goes, oh, yeah, now they're calling it this. You can't even keep up with it. It feeds people that don't want to learn anything. So I'm like, I wouldn't call myself queer, you know, because for me, it's always a negative in my mind. A queer, it's like worse than, you know, seeing gay as a pejorative. But if other people are, I'm fine with it. I'm absolutely fine with it. Yeah, well, I remember when I was first coming out, and I'm at school, and there was like the queer student union, and the word queer never felt right for me. It just didn't-- Me neither. But there's something interesting about that, which is part of it-- I go back and forth, which is, why does it not feel totally right for me? And even if there's a lot of things that would apply to me that I might not go to, but they don't feel weird. I would call myself gay. I wouldn't necessarily go to queer right away. But there is a discomfort, I feel, in the word, even now, that I don't totally understand. And part of it is, because I know other people are on come through with it. And I'm like, no, I want to put the best foot forward. It's like, why am I performing for the other people who don't like the word? They don't like anything, you know? And that's confusing. Right. And also, the people that are referenced in themselves queer, they're not saying everybody has to. It's just-- and you know, a lot of times, if you do the homework, including me, I haven't, like, you know, why it was called, you know, maybe this is a lighter, but why is it's called a made-than-house keeper, or a flake, if you do a little work, and you research it, you'll sometimes get an answer. You're like, OK, before you just go, you know, I don't like it. But like I said, I wouldn't reference myself that. But if people do, I have no problem with it. This week, the official ex-account for Representative Andy Ogles tweeted, quote, "Homans' actuality is no place in America. Happy, nuclear family month." Now, look at this guy. That just looks exactly like you'd think a guy named Andy Ogles, tweeting, anti-gay shit would look like. Now, here's what's interesting. He was criticized by a bunch of Republicans, including Ted Cruz. And Cruz said, for all of recorded history, homosexuals have been part of humanity. I'm quite libertarian by nature. I think this behavior of consenting adults is their business. Isn't that interesting from someone like Ted Cruz? So he-- this guy deleted it. He had-- well, he felt he had to delete it. And then he blamed his staff. He said, I was working on my farm. My phone began growing crazy, yep. Because of a post made by a member of my comms team. The post was stupid, hurtful, and completely distracting from my America first focus. The employee has been reprimanded. Happy Pride. Shabbat. It is interesting that Republicans now, even-- this was-- have a nuclear family month, gay people are terrible. That was sort of-- that was an appetizer back in the day. It was sort of completely normal. But now they feel like they got to run from it. That's interesting. Yeah, well, the problem is a lot of them don't feel it from their heart. So that's why they say these things, but they don't feel it. Yeah. That's why a lot of times I think when I see someone that's having trouble with issues of today, whatever's on the plate, and they're complaining about it, they're probably not all right. There's a lot of people. They're not OK with gay people. They're not OK with gay marriage. They're just done complaining about it. But they don't mind closed doors. They're not OK with it. So that's why they get-- when you see especially comics that are getting matter and matter and matter at change, it's because they're not all right with the change that started 30 years ago. I'm not mad at change. I don't mind growing as I get older. I don't mind changing my beliefs. If anything, it's probably good, you know? So when you see people that are angry at what is on the plate today, like, oh, they're still angry. And that's why when gay people are given a new group hard time, I'm like, what the fuck? Like, you know, come on. You're not supposed to do this to the new group. And you give married. They're like, even gay people aren't OK with that. So yeah, I'm not-- the angry you see some-- I'm telling you, like, I have some gay friends that are not all right with some of the-- how people identify the day. And I go, oh, come on, please. You just-- you know, this is not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to not give the new group a hard time. Hey, Trump's treasury secretary, Scott Bessent, who's been pushing for a Trump $250 bill, he's gay. Let me see him. Oh. You think that's progress? He's gay. He also threatened to beat up Bill Pulti. Bill Pulti, the housing finance director. And Scott Bessent was asked, hey, did you threaten to punch Bill Pulti in the face? And he said, no, that's not correct. I threatened to kick his ass, which is, honestly, a banger from Scott Bessent. That's very funny. That was very funny. But he also is this kind of gay person. And I don't know. I don't know. If you saw this, the kind of person that's holding up a $250 bill with Donald Trump's face on it, making that expression while defending tariffs and the most corrupt and disastrous administration of the history of the public, is he welcome at Pride? I guess everybody is. I know, it's such a bummer. Is he openly gay? Openly. And for a long time. Well, well, and he's a Republican. Yeah. Well, maybe go. Thank you to Todd Glass. Thank you. Check out his standup and get tickets at Toddglass.com. When we come back, Claire Socky joins. Love it or leave it brought to you by Zbiotics. I tell you about the game-changing product I use before a night out with drinks. It's called pre-alcohol. I just got married. We had a bunch of them there for people. People loved it. 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Learn more and get 15% of your first order when you use love it at checkout. Zebiotics is backed with 100% money-back guarantee. So if you're unsatisfied for any reason, the refunds or money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zebiotics.com/loveit and use the code love it at checkout for 15% off. (upbeat music) And we're back, please welcome to the stage. She's a hilarious stand-up, she has a great podcast, and I'm sure she's a third thing too. It's Blair Socky. (audience cheering and applauding) - Hi, thanks for being here. - Hi Blair, good to see you again. - Oh, great to see you, John. Hello. - Hello. - Hey, so you're a busy gal. - I am a busy gal, thank you for saying so. - You're doing stand-up. - Yeah. - You're doing your podcast? - I am. - And you have autism. (laughing) - I do. Thank you. - Did you know, did you have clues before you got an actual evaluation? - Yeah, well, I actually wouldn't have thought that I had it because I am a jock and I went to prom three times. But I started having all these people come up to me after my shows and be like, I have autism to you and I was like, what are they seeing? And then I started thinking about it. Well, if I'm gonna have a kid, maybe it would be a good thing to find out. And so then I ended up getting evaluated. But looking in hindsight, there were many things, yeah. Like how I had to apologize to all my septal animals every time I left the house. Or why my mom, back then we had VCRs and my mom had it in a cabinet on the floor. So when I was three years old, I would rewind the wicked witch part of the Wizard of Oz over and over and she was scared. (audience laughs) - You know, when I was growing up, my dad was a salesman. His box sales made a box factory, but you know there's an old sink. You can always sell a salesman. And so he bought a laser disc player because they were gonna be the thing. Remember, basically they were giant cities, giant cities, the size of a record. And halfway through the movie, he did have to flip 'em. (audience laughs) But we had one, we only ended up having one laser disc and it was home alone. - Oh. - And we would watch this one scene where Catherine O'Hara was trying to barter to get on the plane, she's trying to sell her earrings. And this old guy was like, she's got a great old box of 'em, little dangly ones. And I would watch little dangly ones over and over and over again. - Well, it was funny because I remember with Ron Funch's who later also got diagnosed. I opened for him for years. And he was like, yeah, well, and this was right before I was about to get evaluated. I think it was already set up and we were at lunch and he was like, yeah, one of the first signs was when my son, he would rewind the same scene over in a movie. And I was like, oh, I did that. He's like, no, same scene. I was like, no, I did that. A lot, I was like, what, that's a sign? And yeah, so. (audience laughs) - And Todd came out as gay later in life, not late in life, but you came out as autistic. - I know, we're all sharing a lot today. You know, Mr. Rogers said, if it's mentionable, it's manageable. So whenever I share stuff, I go, why am I sharing all this stuff? Because if you mention, he can manage it. Those words have stuck with me since I heard that quote. It's great. - That's so true, yeah. - You know what, I want to say this. I'm not a fan of Mr. Rogers. - No, shut up. - I'm kidding. - Oh my God, I thought you were serious. - That was so fun. I've never thought to do that before. Mr. Rogers, I don't think he was very good. (audience laughs) - Well, by the way, there are a lot of people when I grew up, they didn't. When I was growing up, a lot of people just thought that he wasn't in, not everybody was in awe of him back then. There were people like he was too feminine, he was too, yeah, it's interesting to remember that because now, of course, you know, people should have learned. - I watched the shit out of that shit. - Me too. Remember the crayons? - My favorite part was when they would go into like the little play land. If you would do all the voices, an incredible performer. - Amazing. - I have a question for you. - So after you've found that out, has it helped you at all, like in certain ways? Of course, you understand things. - Yeah. - Has it helped you maybe navigate a little easier through life? - Yeah, I mean, it's given me a lot of peace and context because I think older generations are like, why do you guys need to find out? And it's like, well, one, now I know why I have believed everything, every straight man has ever told me, because I don't lie. So I just assume words mean words. And then people think you're stupid and it's like, I'm not stupid, I was a very good student. I just, you know, there's certain things. It's like called purity of perception. There's all sorts of things. I get more tired than my colleagues. - That's, yeah. - 'Cause we're 50% more processing, John, you know? - Yeah, I'm not really been diagnosed, but I just-- - I diagnosed you. - Yeah. (laughing) I just think it's so clear. But I mean, I don't want to belittle the diagnosis by claiming it 'cause I simply can't. - Right. - I can tell you about the difference between the Boeing 777 and the Airbus A350, 900, and I can tell you the difference between the Airbus A350, 900 and the 1000, but I've never been diagnosed with anything. - Hey. - I'm a doctor. - Are you watching Real Housewives of Rhode Island? - I am. - Holy shit, it's good. - Yeah, I mean, this is the best franchise launch, I think in the history. 'Cause there's something so authentic about that show where it does feel like, even though, in case you audience aren't watching, it feels like the early 2000s somehow. - Yes. - It feels like back in time? - Yes, it's like, it's like somehow, you just, they should have flip phones. Like, I do that, they should not be allowed, they shouldn't be texting or using apps. Like, these women have flip phones. - Yes. - These women are printing out MapQuest to get from their house. - 100%. - They are not on the web. - Their accents are incredible. Just all their really regional specific stuff is so interesting to me. - Did you know the term slam pig? - I hadn't heard slam pig, but I was delighted. - It's not slam pig summer. - What does it mean? - What does it mean? It's just, I think it just means slut. Or maybe like, slut in a kind of chubby way? - Well, no. - It doesn't mean just chubby slut. - Kelsey actually very trim figure. - I'm not saying it's a. - No, no, I didn't say you said that. - I'm not saying it's fair to call anyone a slam pig or I'm not even evaluating who is not a slam pig. I'm just saying that if I were to say what is a slam pig, it's a slut with some heat on their bones. - Right, but actually what they distilled it down to on the show, a slam pig was that they got paid to have sex or she was insinuating. I think. - Oh, so I thought that was. - Constitution, I see it. - Less nice way in the fight. - Chubby slut was my, I had a grunge. (laughter) - I had to go back. I couldn't let my stupid thing in my head go. No, I don't need to say. - Why? - Chubby slut was actually my grunge. - Chubby slut. (laughter) - Say it into the mic, Todd Glass. Chubby slut, go on. - Could you say it in the dark like I'm at least coming in fresh? - Yeah. - So chubby slut. (laughter) - Chubby slut. - Actually, that was my grunge band in high school. - Yeah, that's real. Oh, see, it just happened. - No, it was really good. It was really good. - I believed him. - Wow. - I know, it's frustrating. - You've got it bad. - But you're telling me. - Blair, it says here, your podcast is about pop culture, mental health and weird facts about aliens. However, there are no such things as facts about aliens. There has truly not a one. - Do you think that? - Is that your position? - Yes. - That there are no aliens. - My position is that there are currently no facts about aliens. - Oh, okay. - Other than they may exist. - Right. - That's where I'm at. - Okay, sort of that gnostic. - Yeah, that's right. - So what do you feel about the government releasing, slow releasing UAP staff? - I think it's the kind of thing where, if there was clear proof that aliens existed, it would be clear proof that aliens existed and wouldn't be debatable because, you know, if, like, for example, like if, like, you don't even do aliens. Like, has a plain load of French acrobat's landage in California. And it's like, oh, there are rumors that there are. And actually, I saw a little bit of a, there was a little one of those, what do they throw at the acrobat's? What are those things called? The little bats, pins. Oh, there was a sighting of a pin. It's blurry, but it's definitely a pin. Like, no, if there were French acrobat's wanting around Los Angeles, we'll see him. And we'll note for sure. So why can we know with French acrobat's but we can't know with aliens? You know what I'm saying? - Well, I feel like, I do know what you're saying there and I appreciate your unique metaphor. (laughing) But I feel like there is a little bit more weight of what that could mean and how that could change society than if French acrobat's landed. - I agree with that. I agree with that. completely. Yeah. I'm just I'm my view of the whole thing is why like it's not just that they're aliens and it's not just that they're here it's that they don't necessarily want us to know that they're here and they're just good enough at hiding that we only get the barest of hints full stop like if aliens are trying to keep themselves from us there would be a range of acts and they're not perfect at it which is what the claim would have to be that would mean that they are perfect at getting it to the point where we almost don't know they're here but just get whispers and that just seems hmm I don't I think it's I don't buy that wow I love I love your mind I really do I see I just feel like there's two billion light years ahead of us in intelligence and they sort of only be seen if they want to it's not that they're trying to hide from us in failing and that and look I actually know nothing about aliens you did I the logline of the podcast it says and a little bit of aliens it's really just mentioned and it's a small segment at the end but I do feel like did you see the movie the age of disclosure not yet not yet it is it is that will bring up a lot because it's all these ex high military professionals and these people that were in secret task forces for the government for like the last 70 years and they're all saying yeah like we've seen we have four different types of biologics all this stuff but who the hell knows what is true I can't say that I know for sure Todd you moving aliens woo I know there's stuff I don't know exists out there right you know it's not I've talked about this with my brother like it's not that people just to believe in aliens that might might have a trouble with it's like when they believe in they believe in ghosts I believe in Harlem astrological signs they believe in God they believe in witches and it's like everything but accountability sometimes so if there's chaos in their life they can sort of blame it on all these outside forces so but I maybe I shouldn't throw aliens into there yeah I think the why it's crazy say aliens horoscopes God well like the you know what does that all those do am I squeezing them together but like it yet does seem like oh well this I'm this because that or that I don't know but I don't think there's I a shorter answer is there's got to be some stuff we're not aware of so I don't give a hard no I agree yeah that's how I feel I know those things that you mentioned I just would like to say that I just take a little from each you know I'm not I don't think it doctrine of anything I like that yeah just a little bit a little touch of a little fairy dust of each of them and you can listen to Blair's podcast based out with Blair Sockie wherever you get your podcast and catch her on tour at Blair Sockie dot com hey don't go anywhere there's more of Love it or Leave it coming up and we're back as we were talking about just before the break there's all kinds of conspiracies about aliens where do they come from how did they get here we were just talking about these new UFO videos which is why it's time for a segment we're calling conspiracy you next Tuesday conspiracy you next Tuesday conspiracy you next Tuesday I'm gonna tell you about a conspiracy theory if you don't buy it oh wait let me give these out oh for this for this segment you will you will each have a tin foil hat whoa exciting well we can you can just see how they fit for now we can just put them on but I will just say for this we actually would like you to keep your hat on your lap oh if you if you don't believe the conspiracy theory keep it on your lap if you're open to it hold it hold it hold it a little get it close to your head all right and if you believe it goes right on let's start with one of the 50 new UFO videos released by the federal government two weeks ago let's take a look at one look at it look at it there just sort of darts around uh-oh it's arts around or is it just something that's static and we're seeing parallax wow I'm sorry to say do you do these videos together make you think that there are aliens I can't say it's the this particular video that would make me think that no but have but do the but you do you believe that there is a conspiracy hiding that the government knows about aliens yeah I don't know why would they tell it I mean I don't know I'm too naive maybe I just like why disclose now so that's the question yeah that's the question so you don't so you don't believe the conspiracy I don't think it's as conspiracy I think they're trying to roll something out I don't know exactly what it is well let's go to the next one some inter-internet weirdos thinks Steven Spielberg's new sci-fi movie disclosure day in theaters June 12 was made a conjunction with the deep state to get us all ready for the actual reveal of alien contact do you believe that Todd do you believe that I don't believe that no I just don't picture Spielberg working with the deep state but I do think like on a zoomed out mystical level that there is some way that they could be happening at the same time like unrelated well here's Spielberg talking about it I used to say to myself wouldn't it be wonderful if all of this turned out to be true I'm now thinking wouldn't it be wonderful for people to know all of this is true weird what a weird way to say that he knows some shit you know ET and American travel influence are posted from the Hauntavirus cruise ship which Todd was on he was accused of being a crisis actor online skeptics claim that Jake Rosmarin was a crisis actor for big pharma last month after he continued to post from the MV Hondias the Dutch flag cruise ship that came down with a bad case of Hauntavirus then from the University of Nebraska Medical Center where he was temporarily quarantined people think he's a crisis actor with more ties then you know waky waky folks didn't he push people to get the covid-vax not fallen for this one what do you think about that I don't even understand he's been hired by big pharma to infect to infect and raise so that they can market their drugs they're cheers all right so we don't believe that one here's one groups of people are descending into the American sewer system to hunt for treasure oh that's true I think yeah well the question is my mom said they're searching for valuables that have been flushed down the grain drain or that there are secret stashes of like wealth and treasure down there I gotta tell you something what are we are we thinking the mom or what like I think all kinds of like hiding like what are we thinking they're hiding now there nothing has felt more real to me than ghost busters too like I believe that there is a secret world down there filled with beautiful untapped magical things and if I could just be brave well you know what I thought I wonder for a lot of people there are people that live in the sewer system didn't they have a little documentary on that yeah that sounds familiar yeah in New York or in New York oh because you know how they get talking about the Ellie I want to put mine on with you guys yeah and you know what I thought if I lived down there how I would make my place super nice but I don't know why yeah my sewer apartment's beautiful yeah wait to see how I laid out my sewer home even sometimes and it's not in disrespect to people that are homeless whatsoever it's more my neuroses like I look at an underpass and I'm always thinking I could I would like put my little my tent there you know I'd make because it wouldn't be in the well but also I did see that video where people going under the sewer wonder if they're looking for stuff like they get flushed down the toilet because you know there's got to be so much diamonds and rings and necklace can I tell you something I've only been wearing a ring for a week and a half sure congratulations thank you thank you for saying that I now have come to believe that as a society like a lot of people wear rings right and it is crazy to me that they're just our drains and that rings can go down this is a side doesn't make any fucking sense yeah it really is it and I'm sure it is because all most women or women are more likely to wear rings than men and the only man who really wear rings for the most men who are wearing rings are wearing a wedding band right but like a lot of men don't wear rings but the idea that like there are drains they're just isn't this a solvable problem like yeah just make it so that the holes are smaller than the fucking rings right my crazy insane like oh yeah I my family diamond went down the drain my mother snuck it out of fucking Auschwitz but now it's gone because a man designed this bathroom John welcome to hell it's like all of them are like that for women anytime you go to class be your necklace and usually you know you're getting ready to make up and it's over the sink you know my dad's hot to open up the drain multiple times growing up crazy yeah fell in there next conspiracy theory ahead of the LA mayoral race Jake Tapper grilled Spencer Pratt about comments he made in 2009 and Alex Jones a show agreeing that 9/11 was an inside job Pratt said his view has changed my hat fell off jumped off my head but but was that the result of neglectful government vetting that would have identified and prevented the al Qaeda agents from carrying it out. Well, I have to say, I mean, there was a memo that said al Qaeda determined to-- been allowed and determined to strike within the US and George W. Bush was like, boy, that's bad. So maybe that was real. You think it wasn't inside, John? No, no. No, I think it was just incompetence. Well, some part of it was preventable. Had they been paying enough attention, I think is what I would say. OK. Teens say they were stalked by sacked squatches. Is two sacked squatches a sacked squatch? Is it like deer? One sacked squatch, two sacked squatches, or one sacked squatch, two sacked squatches? Sacked squatches. Sacked squatches. They say they were stalked by a group of 10 teens-- camping in Idaho's pay at National Forest-- say they were followed by several big-feet-- big-foot over big-foot, big-foot. Memorial Day. So big-foot doesn't respect the truth. Oh, just very recently. Very recently. This just happened. They cited strange whistling at a one-point according to Fox News that around 3 a.m. on Sunday. Well, everyone was sleeping. One of them heard what sounded like someone trying to start their car. I don't think sacked squatch was trying to start their car. Yeah, I don't know about this. Is there conspiracy theory you do believe, Todd Glass? We were talking about that up in the green room. Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry, the person who made these. They even have the little World War I, German little hat at the top. Beautiful. It's start-- you start. Is there one you believe? What was one I believe? Here's one that I believe. I believe that Fidel Castro is the father of Justin Trudeau. I really do. I really do to swear. I really genuinely believe that. Or I would say this. I don't know. Here's what I say. I would say it is those who claim it has been debunked are not telling the truth. It has not been debunked. It is true that it didn't happen when it could have happened, but it did happen when it could have hit. Here's what I'm saying. Let me say it like. I sound fucking crazy. Here's what I'll say. I agree with those who claim it has debunked that when it couldn't have happened, it didn't happen. But they're ignoring the moment when it could have happened. That's all that I'm saying. I think it is possible. It's just possible. And they look alike. I've ever seen a picture of Justin Trudeau and Fidel Castro side by side. I can't say that I have. Well, when you see-- when you do, you'll be like, oh, shit. Yeah. There's the two that I think of off the top of my head. One that Courtney Kardashian's third baby is Justin Bieber's. That one, it comes up on my TikTok a lot. And then also the gaylers that think that Taylor Swift is gay. And I don't know if I necessarily believe that. But then when you see the gaylers and the argument that they line out, it's like the freaking DaVinci code. It's insane. And it starts being like, wait, is she gay? Has this whole been gay this whole time? It's just an elaborate treasure hunt piece? Yeah. I mean, it is these. That is also how you get into QAnon, because there's a lot of data. Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I don't need a theory. We'll be right back. [MUSIC PLAYING] And we're back. Now it's time for our favorite end-of-show segment, where I take a loving stroll through everything. I said, or did this evening, and it's not whether or not I regret it in a segment. We call second thoughts. Todd and Blair, I would love to hear any second thoughts you have about this evening as well. First up, I said, pooping on Nancy's explosive desk was cool. I remember that. I swore multiple times in front of who I believe is a future leader of America. Oh, this is-- I know who wrote this one. "Shitting on lesbians again, we are actually very fun. Prove me wrong, Halley." Oh, one other second thought. In case there are aliens, I want to let them know that I'm on their side. On me too, me too. I don't have to say that, because I know they're all already like me. Yeah. One other regret. We should have just put the tinfoil hats and just had them on for the whole segment. Using them to gauge, it was a mess. It was a, frankly, it was a mess. Yes, it was a mess. I should have just put the hat on and say, fuck it. We're putting on these hats, because instead it was like, because we didn't really believe a lot of them. So the hats are sitting on our laps. They're falling over stupid. We fucked up the hat, thank God. I-- it was fun to wear the hat. Yeah, once the hat was on, it was like, this is a dream hour out of in a good time. It was fun. It's like, oh, I feel-- you forgive yourself. You have to forgive yourself. Nice person. I wish I could take back the, oh, you didn't ask me yet. Hey, what do you have any regrets, Blair? Oh, thank you so much for asking, John. That's really timely. I wish I didn't bring up Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber and possibly a Kardashian, because I don't actually believe either of those. I didn't know I came through. I think you're OK. All right, just telling the Swifties out there. Stand down. And that's our show. Whoa. Thank you to Todd Glass and Blair Sockie. There are 150 days until the midterms. We will be back next week. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Bye. Thank you. Love it or leave it as a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, film a graph, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Love it. Our production team includes Halikipa, Sarah Lazarus, David Tolls, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroat. And our staff is proudly unionized with the writer's Guild of America East.