Going Nuclear

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SimpliSafe keeps danger away from your family with three layers of protection. One, smart AI cameras and live U.S.-based agents help stop intruders before they break in. Two, we sound the alarm at points of entry. Three, our agents request emergency response. Plans starting around a dollar a day. Right now, get 60% off your new system with professional monitoring at simplisafe.com slash spotify. Outdoor deterrence plans start at $49.99 a month. Visit simplisafe.com slash licenses for alarm license information. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Whittling Wade cites his wanderlust, has a patellarized magenta, restarts an addiction that explains CCGs and Chernobyl. Moon-smashing Mark trashes his thonker, gets a cheesy hole, and discusses thorium and neutrons. Beatified Bob gives an infomercial, probes pronunciations, stabs Mark, and fakes his thonker. Famously, Mrs. Coasters, from Brimstone Beauty to Polish pylons, it's time for Going Nuclear. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host. I don't do this very often anymore. Why? I've fallen off. But today I do. And I'm joined as always by my co-hosts, Mark and Bob. Hello. Hello. How are you doing, you handsome devil? I'm doing pretty good. I had a good week that I'll talk about later. You delightful demon. Stop. You smart spawn of Satan. I think that was still technically a compliment, maybe. I'm gonna write something down, it might be good. If it feels good, isn't it good? They say that Satan was the most beautiful of all the angels. They specify that, I think. That's biblical? I'm pretty sure it's biblical. I believe you. And on the fifth day, God looked at Satan and said, damn. I might be going to hell for that joke alone. Ah, to see Satan, right? For yourself. Just to know what it's all about. That's why I took the seventh day off, you know what I mean? It was a bad breakup, that's what caused the fall. It's, you know, it's like, you know, history by the victors. God's just writing, Satan's such an asshole. God, I got me, damn. God, I got me, damn. God really wrote the first Taylor Swift album. Me, damn you, Satan. He's gonna be in hell, where evil people go. And I made that. It's not his choice, it's mine. Sounds like a Trump speech. And I made that, and that's how it's always been. I have a blank cage, baby, and I'll put you in. That was funny. Anyway, there's a show we host. We could do game. We small talk. Small talk? I got small talk. You guys have small talk? I got small talk. I got small talk. Small talk. Who first, small talk? You go first. Me? Yeah. If you use it up now, you won't get any points in the future. I've got to be careful, or else I might give myself the segue point. Well, I've been gone. We haven't seen each other in a couple of weeks, because I was out of town. Molly and I went on a trip to Virginia, hung out with some friends. It was a really nice, needed break. However, we did a lot, which is also fun. But that's that thing where you go on vacation, you come back, and you're like, oh, I'm so tired. I need like a week to recover from a vacation. Classic mistake. But it was really fun. We had a lot of good food, had some pool time. I got to test my knee a little bit, which is better. I still have moments where it doesn't really hurt, but it just feels. Something is still weird about it. Tyler had some theories on that, because we got to see Tyler, too. He's had some knee stuff going on, so I might go get some imaging done to see. I forget what he said. He was like, your magenta might be between your. My patellar bow flex. And I was like, oh, that sounds right. Tell your doctor exactly that. My magenta is between my patellar and my bow flex. You'll say it, and the doctor will be like, hmm. But then say, no, no, Tyler told me that. And the doctor will be like, oh, Tyler? You know Tyler. From Hit Podcast, go my favorite sports team. That's the one, dog. Oh, my God. And then he starts going cross-eyed and talking in an action. He's like, yeah, you're magenta, real patellarized. I hate when my doctor goes, Hill's a Tennessee accent. No, you love when your doctor does that. I love when my doctor goes, Hill's a Tennessee accent. Accent? Accident. No, accent. Accident's different. Hill's a Tennessee accident. Oh, what else? Oh, the real horrible tragedy of what happened in Virginia. We went to some retro, like, game stores and stuff where they have figurines and video games, and we were looking around at those kinds of things. They had cards, and Tyler and Bird, I guess, had been collecting different, like, collectible cards. There's all kinds now. There's, you know, there's Yu-Gi-Oh! Magic. Pokemon, One Piece. Like, I guess everything has a card set now. I used to collect Pokemon cards back in, like, the 90s. I made the mistake of mentioning that, and the guys were like, do you want to just, like, buy a pack for old time's sake? I was like, guys, that's probably a bad idea. Listen, I don't dip my toe into things. If I go in, I dive in headfirst that I'm all in. They're like, oh, come on, one pack. It won't be that bad. $4,000 later, Wade has a stack of valueless Pokemon cards in his closet. Only two. $2,000? Yes. Holy shit. Whoa. What did you do? I bought a lot of cards. Oh, my God. Did you get a single good one that was worth anything? Yeah, actually. So I started going in on Prismatic Evolution and Chaos Rising sets. What does that even mean? What does that mean? You know what that means? Prismatic Evolution and Chaos Rising? Please. People who know, know. If you don't know, I'm not. Listen, every like six months, a new Pokemon set comes out, it feels like, or something. What the hell is this chaos? What am I looking at? So back whenever I collected cards, there was the base set of Pokemon, right? Where you just had the, there was no symbols. There was no, no. It was just, that was the only Pokemon cards that existed. The first six Pokemon, yes. Then came the Jungle, Fossil, and Rocket sets. And then I guess some like Gym Leader set came after. I don't know. I stopped sometime during the Rocket Pokemon card release that came after. I think Fossil was the third one. And that's, that's the last I'd collected cards since whatever year that was, 2000. So I've seen that cards exist and people collect them. I've seen that like, if you have a pack of cards unopened from like the 90s, the first set, the pack itself, unopened, goes for like six, $700 because it could contain something crazy. If you have a box from back then, a box of packs, that can go for like $40,000. It's crazy what you can just, if you just buy something, and you do the Wade version of just stash it away. My God, one day it might be worth something. Just imagine if nine-year-old me was enough of a sociopath to not open any Pokemon card packs I ever got while I was a child. So I do have a full base set, but mine are played. So mine aren't worth as much as a lot of them would be, whatever. But I do have a full base set and maybe, I don't know. I'd have to look. But anyway, I've gotten, I've gone into the deep end of Pokemon cards, which is why I don't, I don't do hobbies. I don't just, I don't just like to have all. I'm like mobile game must have every character. Pokemon cards, must master set. What happened to like, like reading or like you could whittle? You seem like a guy who would whittle. You strike me as a whittler. He does got whittle vibes, don't he? I could see you on a porch in the Appalachians. Is it cedar that has like the purple center of the wood? I think that's, um, patchouli. No, what's that called? Pipipu. No, it's pipipu wood. Yes, yes, yes. Uh, yeah, it's purple cedar. Purple cedar. Yeah. Yeah. So I think whenever I was young, I had a pocket knife and my whittling of cedar was literally just like, aha, I'll go in a circle for hours. Smaller now. I did it. Grandpa, look. I thought whittling was distinct from carving because when you whittle, you kind of are just fucking up the wood. Like you're kind of just like, you know, get rid of this stupid wood. One tiny shred at a time. I'm whittling. I don't know. I was like 10 and that's what I did. And that's the last I was probably, I don't know. I have no idea. I was somewhere between the ages of nine. And 13 probably. I don't know. Wait, I'm going to share you something on discord and you know, we don't, we don't have to talk about further, but I think it's going to earn me some points. So I'm just going to share this with you. If you look up purple cedar, you know, there's a, there's a video and, um, I think that earns me some points, right? So should I describe the image? No, you don't need to describe it. You don't need to describe it. We don't need to talk about it. Listeners and viewers alike. We'll have to figure that one out for you. themselves. um what was i talking about whittling pokemon cards yeah so i've started collecting a little distracted feeling feeling distracted man yeah cedar it was just like that uh whenever i whittled it i won't describe the image but it was just like that yeah i've started collecting there's so many cards and it feels like so each card will have a number right it'll be like if there's 80 cards it'll be like oh you have card 37 out of 80 but apparently now it's a lie because it goes past the number if you get the rarer cards like oh you have card 97 out of 80 and it's like what the hell is that what's the good in that i don't know just like just tell me numbers have meaning i agree just tell me how many cards are total in the set so i know if i got them all so i can put them in a nice order and no don't tell me i've got like oh card one is this nice hollow but card 140 out of 80 is this full art rare gold i hate it so much i hate it so much god now that you're in that i know you're not like an expert because you just started doing it can i can i just ask do people do that do people get into pokemon because it's like oh this specific set appeals or is it literally like oh the value on these packs is trending up and there's a card you could get there's a pull you could get from this set that's worth like 800 is it money or is it because i'm like well it's cool but how how do you care about a thing where they just keep adding shit to it and they keep getting more complex is it really sentimental for people i don't know it just seems crazy to me i think the answer is both i think some people genuinely just enjoy collecting and like the cards and like pokemon i think the way that it's actually happening now is scalpers are running so rampant that the moment something launches a lot of places limit how much you can buy because people buy all of the stock up no matter the price they buy it all up eighty dollars a box i'll take a cup on ebay other sites so like hey this box that came out today for an eighty dollar retail price four hundred and fifty dollars it's yours and that's how all of it is done now so a lot of places like i've gone to some local card shops around cincinnati mom and i went out yesterday and just had lunch and stopped by a couple and a lot of them had limits like you can only buy six packs you can only buy one box and it's like actually i respect that because that means like if kids come in and want to buy it at least there's a chance that they could get something but each set also has cards that are worth you know they call them bulk they're like worthless cards i guess to me it's cool because that's like if i want a master set i want one of each card from a set right but people go for the chase cards which are ones they put in like the harder cases they're called top loaders i've learned i think all of them maybe there's other ones that aren't but they have like the sleeves are flimsy then you top load that for your really valuable cards we pulled one that was like a sylveon from the prismatic evolution that's apparently like a two to four hundred dollar card ungraded so that was a great pull i pulled that that was great finally bird pulled it but it was mine and that's cool to see stuff like that but for me it's just i don't plan on like selling them so for me it's like i'm gonna collect them and i want to have like a set i just want to have that set together like i did however long ago and i hope i don't try to get every set especially the old ones because my god the cost is insane there's like a latios latios if you guys know those two legendaries they're like jet plane looking birds from gen 3 there's a card where they like they form a heart with like their heads and their neck the cheapest i could even see that card in existence i wasn't looking to buy just someone who told me it was expensive like how expensive could it be the cheapest one i could find was two thousand dollars for one piece of cardboard i better start printing stuff on pieces of cardboard too it happens you guys want to make some distractible collectible cards and that's apparently a crazy industry might as well but yeah scalpers have the reason everything's so crazily priced is because people are like people want this what if i hoard this and raise price because they're fucking monsters scalpers are monsters but i mean it is just crazy how the the the way that people think about the money and it gets it just destroys anything but it's worse when the companies lean into it i feel like there's a lot from the pokemon company that's probably like very happy that a lot of people are trying to fight for the value of this and you know then they can raise their own prices and then they're gonna yeah well that's probably that's probably funny though because like they see this and they're like oh yeah oh people fucking love these things we gotta make more it's like yeah you're selling them for 80 a box or whatever and then someone sells what's it that box for five thousand dollars and you don't see any of that shit yeah that's the thing is like a lot of the retail it's still high i don't know what a pack comes out to typically now maybe like six to eight dollars a pack or something maybe more but like whenever we were collecting i say we whenever i was collecting back in the 90s it was like literally 299 or 399 for a single pack yeah well i used to do magic when i was in like middle school high school magic the gathering and i it was like two or three bucks for a booster back then so you could go go to go to the local store and buy a pack of magic and it was like two or three bucks for a booster back then so you could go grab a few boosters for like eight or ten bucks maybe have a good time open some packs get nothing and now it's higher the base value but you're never going to find base value anywhere uh gamestop just got uh in well i wouldn't say in trouble but there was a lot of controversy around gamestop because they themselves raised prices rather than waiting for scalpers they were like what if we just charge more i don't know how much they went up but people a lot of people were upset some people defended it some people were upset about it whatever but like they were just like why let scalpers raise the price when we can it's the dynamics of the market you know we the straight of hormuz is closed immediately raised prices oh it's open let's hold off let's not lower them just yet can't push it back down you don't know if the prices are going to go back down which we control in the end kept getting closed again so i guess i guess there may be some logic in that but no you know it's weird it's just a little weird uh i also had a really speaking of spending lots of money you guys god i'm ashamed to admit this what's going on with you? all right doordash i've used doordash a lot so for six years i've been using their subscription service for deliveries and they were like here's how much you've saved over the last six years by using doordash that's rude that's just rude do you have any idea what that number was five figure is this is this five year is this five figure number sixty thousand dollars jesus uh i don't know you eat a lot of food you've eaten a lot and that goes on back to covid where it was like there were knockdowns and shit where it was like if you didn't have groceries what are you supposed to do it was thirteen thousand nine hundred i knew it was five figures i knew it was five figures i saved thirteen thousand nine hundred dollars on deliveries over six years you saved listeners i'm doing air quotes sam please put in a sound effect for my air quotes did it have the total that you've spent accompanying that or was it just like thank god if it did i didn't see it it's all the savings what i'm saying on fees delivery and whatever else that you know the eighteen thousand charges you get good lord in five years i would bet i don't think it's six figures i bet it's not over a hundred thousand but i bet it's pretty up there i mean if you think about having a meal delivered probably on average one to two times not two times a day but probably at least once a day part of that too is you feed a lot of people i feel like a lot of the times or door door dashing it's like well we have guests in town and we need food and we don't want to bring a party of ten people to a restaurant necessarily or whatever and i'm not cooking for my friends all my money is going to pokemon cards and door dash so half of it is definitely weight eating freddy's while we're filming distractible so i've not had that in a minute that sounds good i've not had lunch yet thanks man he's gonna order now he's gonna order some freddy's for while we record yeah wait they have pokemon cards too you can door dash pokemon cars i don't know i don't please don't let me look at that i don't want to know all right that's my small talk i've taken a few and i had an episode too oh well we'll see if i can do it i had a lot to talk about we we could skip it i also have a lot to talk about we could save it for the next episode if you just want to go straight on give yourself the small talk point and the segue point man you're in the lead you're you're doing so good i i am all the small talk of my own episode i'm such a rude ass that's why i don't get to host anymore you're such a rude ass another thing i i did while traveling because i didn't have a book with me is i watched i watched a show that i hadn't seen about it i've been interested in watching i watched chernobyl on hbo great show fantastic show and segue i want to talk about us going nuclear today's episode's all about nuclear okay all right who would i nuke let's start with the countries that i hate the most i meant power but you can nuke if you look oh oh power oh what are we doing sports teams individuals institutions what are we nuking mark's like wait is sour patch kids a country learned that the one episode i haven't forgotten i say we nuke the moon take that a james what would he photograph then he would get the prettiest picture of like the nuke exploding the moon i have a new calendar called the end of the moon that was just a sequence of mark nuking the moon to bits how many nukes would it take to destroy the moon i don't know mr owl why don't you show us a one a two a different commercial the way that for everyone out there nuclear stuff at least worked back then was you had like fuel rods nuclear fuel rods they would react and their reaction would produce heat heat would boil water water turns into steam steam creates power and that's how it was supposed to work and then you have these control rods that are supposed to go into the nuclear reactor that stop or slow down the reaction that was your emergency breaks this guy watches one miniseries knows how nukes work well it's a simple that's a simple thing that's a simple thing that's a - It's a pretty simple. - It's a simple science. - That's such a simple science. whole breakdown of a very complicated process. Like that's baby's description of nuclear power. All right. Comrade, the gas off and Chernobyl, a lot of things went wrong. Um, for one, they were supposed to be doing a test. Then someone was like, Hey, actually we need more power for the day. Can you guys just, so they, they'd gone into low power mode and they were like, all right, we're going to run this test. And someone made the call like, actually, can you put the test off for 12 hours? And they're like, yes. Cause here we only say yes. Um, so the nuclear power plant stayed in low power mode all day, which is not good for it. It was beating, uh, building up like xenon gas and other stuff that wasn't great for the reactor because it wasn't running at full power. It wasn't burning away as usual. When they went to run the test, they were like, huh, some of this shit doesn't look right. And the guy running the test was like, nah, it's fine. Trust me. I'm an expert. Night shift had never been prepared for the tests. They'd never learned how to do them. They hadn't studied them. They were just like, Hey, is this a good idea? All these things say not to do it. And the guy in charge is like, yeah, yeah, but I'm the expert. Do it. I want this promotion. Do it. So they do all these things to run the test. And then the nuclear reactor, they're supposed to stop, I think like 700, I don't know, kilowatts or whatever it was a power. And then the reactor's like, Ooh, I'm still going down. I'm still going down. Power basically goes all the way down. And the way that they decided to bring power back up was removing some of those safety rods. They're like, Oh, let's pull these control rods out. That way they're not stopping the nuclear reaction. Nuclear reaction can go, we'll get our power back. And it did. But all of a sudden there were no, I think it was down to like 18 out of what? 250 control rods, only 18 were left inside. And the nuclear reaction was like, Hey, there's nothing stopping me. I'm let's fucking go crazy. Yo. Ultimately, as the number started shooting up, there was a kill switch. I forget what it was called. There was a name for it, but they hit the kill switch. Like, all right, put all the new, the rods back in. We're shutting this down finally. Um, however, there was a flaw in the design of the nuclear control rods in order to save money. They had graphite tipped control rods instead of whatever it was supposed to be. I don't know what the alternative was, but the graphite itself, whenever inserted into the core has a temporary moment of actually increasing the reaction, uh, rather than decreasing. So even though the rod itself is supposed to stop it, the moment all of those graphite tips went in, it was basically like a bunch of lighters at a gas station. Just like, what if we just light a bunch of fires here real quick? And then reactor go boom and meltdown happened. Radiation leaked. Um, some disasters were actually prevented. That could have been a lot worse at Chernobyl, but I think it's still responsible for at least four to 9,000 deaths. Plus who knows how many cancers and so on and so forth. But those are the basics of Chernobyl. However, the kill switch in theory should have worked if government wasn't cheap and didn't say, well, what are the odds of the graphite tip things causing a problem? All these things have to go wrong for it to be bad. And then it was, and it did and so on and so forth. Uh, the only other nuclear things of problems I know about, there was a thing at three mile Island in Pennsylvania in the seventies. And then there was Fukushima back in like, what was it? 2011. Those are the only other ones I personally know about. I don't know what caused the issues at three mile. I've not looked into that one. Fukushima, there was a, like a magnitude nine earthquake. And then a tsunami went over the protective wall, hit the power plant, drowned the steam engines, took away any ability for power to keep water cooling the reactors. And since it was being hit with seawater, all of the power was gone. All they were doing all kinds of shit to try to get power to these reactors. They couldn't do it fast enough. And then boom, boom, boom, boom from hydrogen buildup and so on and so forth. That's why she shops at BJ's wholesale club, saving up to 25% off grocery store prices, beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods. Even they can't screw up. This is your home road warrior mom, home of the save. Open soon. Limited time offer new members only. BJ's home of the save. They call it a Swiss cheese of failure. I didn't know that. Is that true? You don't know about the term Swiss cheese of failure? I did not. It's like if you line up slices of Swiss cheese from say a different cheese block, there's not much chance that you're going to get a hole that goes all the way through. But every once in a while in rare circumstances, if you line up enough Swiss cheese, slices, there's going to be one that series of Swiss cheese that has a hole that goes all the way through. And that's the Swiss cheese of failure. It's rare chances and need to overlap for it to happen. So I only eat American cheese. I think we found our first country. We need to nuke, which is the subject of this episode and their shitty cheese and any other country that has holes with holes with cheese in them. Cheese with holes and holes with cheese around them. Anyone that's got cheese in their holes, you deserve to be nuked. I think I speak for everyone here. That's the official stance of Distractible hosted by Wade. He's the leader of this operation. Oh God. Keep cheese out of your holes. Keep holes out of your cheese, everyone. That's today's PSA. And we're going to have regular hole inspections to make sure those holes aren't cheesy. Please don't ask me to inspect your holes. Wade's going to do it. I don't want to. I really don't. I don't want to cavity search for cheese. No, no, no, no, no, not cavity search, hole search. What are we talking about? Nuclear, nuclear power. Oh, those are what I know about. You guys are welcome to describe three mile. If you know what happened at three mile, but ultimately there's still a huge debate about whether or not nuclear power is safe from what I can tell. Fukushima sounded like a pretty freak accident, but there were still some cutting costs, things that went into effect that led to it being a disaster Chernobyl. If they'd had the right kind of control rods in place. Yeah. The fucking idiot running the thing was going to cause a disaster, but the shutoff button still should have shut off. Both of those things I think have been preventable. Fukushima, I'm a little bit less of a, I'm a little bit less knowledgeable about other than the basics I already described, but a lot of people still argue that nuclear power is still safer and still has less of a death toll. I've got it. And I got the perfect company to do. I know what you're asking us. You don't even need to explain it anymore. RYOBI nuclear batteries. I think the entire RYOBI line could be souped up if it's already green. It's already green. It's already green. Nothing greener than nuke Lear. That's what I say. I love the catchphrase. You like your bot, you pick up the drill and it's like nothing greener than, and it's just like a mushroom cloud. It's like, oh, I love it when my mushroom clouds are green. That's when you know, they're good. That's a RYOBI branding on there. RYOBI call me. I'm going to get so many sponsors by the end of this year. I'm going to be so sponsored nuclear power. RYOBI go, well, no GoPro's probably just blah, blah. We'll get to go for nuclear. GoPros would also be awesome. But I think if a RYOBI chainsaw that's nuclear powered instead of like revving or whirring, it's like just the clicks from a Geiger counter. And so you just like the radiation goes up. Get your new RYOBI brushless nuclear drill with new RYOBI's new 1.21 gigawatt nuclear powered four amp hour battery. It will be powered for slightly longer than on the old ones. The best of the best, right? This is what you wanted out of this episode, right? Oh yeah. I mean, imagine like, do you guys ever had like a little flower bed outside and like weeds keep popping, up and it's so annoying. Like, but imagine your nuclear spray that just keeps the weeds gone forever. Well, that's just because it'll kill you. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly there's nuclear. Maybe. Yes. Maybe. Protect me. Protect me from myself. Protect us from our brand slander. Protect us RYOBI. Come on. Oh, I'm the Joker, but with lawsuits. Come on Sumi. Why should I do it? I'm like a dog biting mailman. I just keep getting more lawsuits. I keep chasing sponsorships. I wouldn't know what if I actually got one. What would I do? I would do what I did with Prusa where it was like I put my butts around and don't make a video for six goddamn months. Hey, they're cool. We're cool. Right Prusa? They're cool. I did have this revelation on, on like a stream yesterday where I'm like, Hey, I kind of have, if everyone in my audience knows that I haven't done a brand video for Prusa, everyone I've done the job, right? It's kind of perfect viral marketing, really. Cause then there's a bunch of people feeling sympathy for Prusa. And if any of them needs a 3d printer, they're like, Mark's not going to make a video. I got to buy one of the others. Like, yeah, yeah. Help these guys out. I got to reach out and see if I get more sponsorships where I don't agree. Don't do what I agree to to see if guys the sympathy will garnish over the next five years. It'll be crazy. Yeah, I know. Right. The sympathy. If you get so many sympathy sales, you're going to, it's going to be through the roof. It's the new, it's the new generation of pain exposure, but you guys in sympathy, just wait. I don't really want a 3d printer, but Mark didn't do the video. So I guess I'll get one as an empath. I really feel for Prusa. Nuclear powered 3d printing would go hard. Nuclear. Anything nuclear. This is just, we're going nuclear today. Are we talking about power plants? Is nuclear power the way? In a serious space, the, the, there's been developments. I don't know what it is, but there's been developments in thorium reactors. Uh, I haven't checked up on it in thorium salt reactors. I don't think before it was practical. There was something about it that's practical. It was safer, but with thorium salts, there's a much lower, like power ratio. You can get out of it in the current way that they make them. I forget what the main problem is though. It was, there was something that was fundamentally, a problem with it, uh, that needed more research to get further into it. Right. Thorium ironically also was the thing that was co, those Minolta lenses that makes it radioactive. So you know it's good. Yeah, so thorium, it looks like, still involves using fissile fuel, so nuclear material. Molten salts are highly corrosive at extreme temperatures, requiring advanced expensive alloys. There's not really a streamlined global framework for cooling and regulation because it's such a new technology, I guess. All right, so I think maybe the issue was that thorium, to become fissile, it needs to absorb a neutron to become uranium-233, but the problem is uranium-233 could quickly or fairly simply turn into plutonium. No, protactinium-233. The fuck is that? Oh shit. What in the shit? Sounds like bad news. Never heard of that one. All right, okay, this is where we're starting to babble about things that we don't know about, and we're making all the actual nuclear engineers mad, which is my favorite thing to do. Somehow still better than our brander? Brandslander? Our brander? You've coined a term for our brander. I want you guys to settle something for me because I feel conflicted about this. I've already said it once or twice, but this is an honest-to-God debate, and I think different crowds and different people come down on different sides of this. The word is nuclear, as in nucleus, nuclear, right? Yes, nuclear. I don't think any of the three of us sincerely say nuclear because of our accents or anything, but that is a way that a large proportion of, like, native English-speaking people say that word, much the same way as people pronounce, like, pillow as pillow or room as rum. Is someone in my room? What weirdos would do that? We are experts in speaking out loud, so thus we are experts in language. Is nuclear an acceptable way to pronounce the word, or is it unacceptable? Because I feel conflicted about this because there are deep parts of me that find it very funny that, like, George W. Bush said nuclear, right? He was the president of our country. He was the leader of the free world, whatever, and he said that to me when I was a kid. I was like, he said it wrong. We're gonna find her. We're gonna nuclear. Read the word. It's nuclear, sir. I think a linguist would say, well, language is kind of a living thing, right? So if someone's colloquial pronunciation is accepted as nuclear, man, oh, language is a living thing. I've got a lot of, like, southernisms in my family, so I feel like I've heard nuclear a bunch. I mean, I say nuclear. If someone I'm talking to says nuclear, I'll just continue to say nuclear. Do you, like, say it more emphatically to try and tell them that you're smarter than them? I am, but, like, everyone knows I'm smarter than them, but, like, what a thing to throw out there. My cross to bear. So to you, it's acceptable because, go there, friends and family, have that. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna, like, make a big deal out of it. Yeah, I don't care, but for different reasons than Wade, I just want to differentiate myself from him a little bit. But I don't care just because it's not worth the fight. Like, there's so many, if we're as a society to the point where we can start fighting about that stuff again, we're in a good place. I think that that's, that's a sign that, you know, society's progressing down to where we want to be. And until we get there again, I don't think that we, any of us can complain too much. You know what I mean? You get what I'm saying here? You understand what I'm getting at, what I'm stabbing at. You're picking up what I'm, what I'm stabbing. You stabbing what I'm stabbing? I'm stabbing it. I'll stab it with you. Okay, stab, stab me. I'll stab you. Sam, where'd you even get that video of me stabbing Mark? Wow, look at all these different angles of him stabbing Mark. That's crazy. Whoa. We got a 4D Gaussian splat of me getting stabbed by Mark. Holy shit. Wait, we have a slow-mo angle from the knife's perspective. Oh my God. We've got the minority report psychic future view of Bob stabbing me. Dream sequence and everything. Wow. Sam, where'd you get that? That's crazy shit. That's production value right there. There's me as the dead wife under the bedsheets before I got stabbed. I don't know whose perspective we're looking at. I guess Amy's. What happened exactly? Hold on, where's the, I thought it was just you and Bob. Where's the wife come from? I don't know. It's from the, Amy's perspective. So Amy's not in this. It's just me under the sheets. You know, the dead wife thing. Yeah. No, that's a thing. You can't act like I'm great. It doesn't seem like he knows. Everybody knows the dead wife thing. Yeah. I can't tell if you're doing that just to piss him off or if you actually sincerely have no idea. We'll never know. So back to nuclear or nuclear if you prefer. I don't. I don't either. I guess what we're saying is if you're a watcher say nuclear, but also good for you. The noise, but for those listening, Bob made a slight smirk as he gave that one light giggle. They know what that noise means. You don't have to explain my noises. It was so light. I barely even heard it. That's the sound my ass makes after I eat too much skyline. No, no, that's wetter. No. Anyway, let's get back to discussing how nuclear reactors function. Right, right, right. Wait, can I talk about, I meant to talk about this during small talk, but. Cause there was something that was so funny that happened, uh, on my journeys and it's not necessarily, uh, the main point of my small talk, but I met some fans, right? Gee, whoa. So many things happening. Uh, someone spotted me through my, um, through my mask, which I'm like, Hey, if you managed to get me through that, like you, it's totally fine. I usually do in the airport both because I've never really. Exactly. Just like that. That's, that's what it was. Uh, so I say, hi, I take a picture and we go our separate ways. They were very nice. Um, and they were even very nice afterwards. Uh, and they posted the picture on the subreddit and it got tons, tons of upvotes for some reason. Um, but in, in the comments of this, it's really funny because it just shows like some people's psychic perceptions, psychological perceptions of reality get distorted in some way. Cause I, I don't know, it might be a joke, but someone's like set a comment is like, well, he's surprisingly average in height, blah, blah, blah. And the person responded, I'm five, nine. And my friend is around the same height. He was shorter than us. Both lol. And I'm like, you posted the picture of us. And in the picture, I'm taller than both of you literally, uh, that was so nice of them to bend down to make you look taller. I know. That's what someone said. Like, oh, so kind of you to bend down so low for this fun. I'm like literally in the photo you posted I'm taller than both of you. Like what did why, why would you do this to me? commenter comes or original poster comes back and is like yeah it's weird mark actually carries around his own apple box to stand on for fan pictures he's not as tall as he appears in this photograph gotta make sure you explain it accurately it's happened more than once and i you guys know i'm not a tall guy i don't i never claim to be a tall guy but i am comfortably average in height and it's just because you freaks make me look tiny and no one understands how gigantic you both are you both are like in the 99th percentile of height and i was like there's no way both of them can be that tall he's got a beauty beauty microscopic and i'm like oh i mean it's pretty unlikely that you'd have two such a freakishly tall friends isn't that weird almost like it couldn't be so almost like and also like the other people in our friend group that are weirdly tall and above average you know i think jesse is actually the same height as all of you guys he's also six foot four for some fucking reason in cincinnati they put something in the chili that i didn't get i don't know maybe i was destined to be five one but i ate the chili and i grew nine inches it's just like i feel you didn't get the big boy three-way did you get the normal one actually i didn't start eating skyle until later so maybe that was my problem that's the thing yeah that's the thing that's your mistake ignore the fact that i grew up in a different city uh nuclear-powered dildos nuclear-powered um side tangent mark's fan so okay whoa what the fuck wait your fan your fan may not figure this memory in my head whoa hold on a second you can't go from nuclear-powered dildos to oh this reminds me of you mark well no no before we get to the dildos before the dildos okay all right okay nothing to do with this uh-huh wink uh molly and i were flying back and apparently there's no direct flights from richmond to cincinnati so we had to fly to atlanta there we had to fly to detroit on the way back here while in detroit uh we decided we wanted to get food and the food place molly decided on was like we were in b terminal this was in like the very end of a terminal which i didn't know till i was getting there it was a long walk so we walked to our gate and we drop off our bags like yeah molly molly said she'd sit with the bags while i go get food and on the way we're on one of those like little moving escalator flat platform sidewalk whatever they call moving sidewalk i don't know what the term is speedifiers there's a guy on the phone looking out a window and he is just yelling and he's screaming and he's cursing into his phone and as we approach like people nearby are all watching this guy and he's getting more and more just like animated more and more angry and we're like that's gonna be a problem they're gonna someone's gonna come do something about that because like there's kids nearby this guy's just dropping f-bombs like he's on this podcast get to the gate set my stuff down go back guy is still cursing more people are kind of like watching seeing like hey something terrible about to happen don't want to miss it something horrible happened in his life i don't know but he's very angry to whoever he's on the phone with i keep going i get past him i'm walking and i'm like i'm walking but feels like a half an hour excursion to go get food and molly texts me updates like hey talk to the guy but now there's a lady who missed her flight very upset she's like i'm supposed to be first class i blah blah blah and you can't do this to me because they wouldn't let her board after the plane apparently had already left i guess they're supposed to hold the whole plane up for her and she was late or something i don't know that does make it tricky so police calm the guy down they're keep an eye on him but they've calmed him down now they're back talking to this lady i get the food i come all the way back i get on one of the moving sidewalk things and actually there's the two police officers with that lady going right by me like oh well i guess at least they whatever's happening they're handling that get back start eating food uh we eat i put on my headphones i go back to watching my regularly scheduled chernobyl on my tablet and uh molly like taps me and i look up and there's the two police officers just standing there smiling like arms crossed looking at me and i'm like hello uh hi they're like are you wade and i was like who's asking yes uh like dude we are such big fans and i was like oh thank god oh every because everyone in our like sitting areas like looking at me they're like these police officers have had to take care of two problematic people here already is this guy ground zero who is this mystery bald man so like i get up i take a picture with them they're very nice uh i'm like i was like oh thank god i didn't know what you guys were i was like i didn't know i don't know anything i didn't see what happened take the picture and you know they head off and people just stare i'm like don't worry just youtube i'm not actually and i put my headphones back on and go back to watching but like i was the center of attention for a moment that's the first time that's happened and i see like them like go down one of the employee only staircases they get in their car because we're sitting in front of the window and they drive off so i think they saw me on a camera and drove back over to come say hi which is cool but headphones on after all these events looking up and just see like two cops staring at me i was like whatever it was i i just got food i just got food i'm watching watching shit you guys like chernobyl i scared the shit out of me i was like i don't oh god what i do i didn't do anything wrong wait you get the segue point for my current story oh great i can contribute to this fans recognizing us in places where it's a whole situation this was another one where it's really attention i didn't want but it was it's not a huge deal it's just funny now uh we went to king's island and anyone who is large in the way that i am large knows the uncertainty that comes with roller coasters we went to king's island and we were like all right let's go on a coaster and literally like was talking to mandy and her brother about like all right so which coasters are like comfortable would be okay for me as a very like large even if you're just tall those roller coasters are tough so we we debated and it was like okay we're gonna go on this one we're gonna go on the what used to be the uh italian job one and is now just called like stunt coaster or something uh and we wait in line and we get all the way up there i they don't have like a test seat so i have no idea if i'm gonna fit we get all the way to the front they we it's our turn we're going to get in and anyone who's a fat guy like me has had this experience where like i get in and i pull it and it goes oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh click click click click and i'm like okay it clicked a bunch and the guy comes over and is like ah i can't see i have to see this line for and i'm like okay yeah yeah click one more is that good and he's like nah nah it needs like a few more still it's like step on it i'll suck in my gut you step on it and literally this guy's like all right man and just like and i'm like yeah do it do it this is gonna be great i'll survive and like they do it and it and finally he calls his buddy over and they look and they're like no we have to see the line clearly past this it's that's not enough but and i'm like all right i'm too fat and the way they build roller coasters of course they can't just unbuckle me and be like all right you off they're like all right everybody uh we're gonna have to unbuckle your seatbelts or just stay in your seats there's just a really big fat guy up at the front of the roller coaster he's not gonna fit uh so just pull it right back in and he's like oh my god i'm so fat i'm so fat i'm so fat i'm so fat i'm so down and uh we'll just make him leave while you do that and so it was like everything opens and everyone's kind of like oh what i climb out and as i'm like trying to climb out really awkward and feeling bad about myself the guy who was stepping on my lap bar to try and make me fit was like wait a minute are you bob like literally we were at the front of the train in front of everyone else and he's like are you bob for distractible guys this is bob cool yeah cool hey do you want to pick do you want to make these people wait while we take a picture really quickly you go to everybody you're like all right everybody bust out your coins time to start flipping uh suffice to say uh he didn't ask for a picture but we didn't take one i just like ran away like i'm not him ran and hid somewhere in my shame but uh what a moment for someone to just be like wait i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do you look everybody another annoying ass thing about those roller coasters they do put them like super tight on you when when you're big like it goes all like it's in your gut but a lot of the way that they release is they don't just pop up you have to push down more for it to release yeah oh god oh god i've seen like people have to have like the things fucking removed because they put it so tight on you and when they come around they push down they're like don't give a fuck if it's already tight on you and it's like and then you go to get off the thing and you're like oh my god it's like guys help they're like oh don't worry but sometimes they can't get it in far enough so they have to come and fucking like disassemble the goddamn thing to get you out it's the best it's the best yeah because those things are built for like you know i guess kids and they have to be able to fit kids and people i don't know up to really tall but they're built for mark-sized humans hey i was about to say yeah i never have these problem guys i i hate to say it but imagine being average i don't remember what the rule is for insulting mark but you've got two points for mark insults already that wasn't an insult he's average i didn't call him short at all i said he's average that's not a short joke yeah you freaks you freaks fuck does that mean i insulted him by thinking it was an insult i think yeah you did wait man yeah what the hell man all right i mean because you got one insult mark point then for the pillow rum thing because that was definitely was that targeted no that was i was specifically targeting my high school friend peter i don't know if you listen to this show peter but yes i remember that you say pillow wrong peter peter if you're listening to this you need to run peter this is you're in a coma you need to wake up this is your sign hey peter run hey peter all right well i gave myself one mark insult point those two combined had to be at least one mark insult right i wasn't targeting mark at all the word that marks as funny was not in part of my examples i mean i say room kind of funny apparently oh real it kind of is it's still it's not room it's room it's room the bedroom what are we talking about nuclear bombs clear icbms uh nuclear underpants radioactive you know they used to have radium things to make your water radioactive i just saw uh they're used to just straight up be tinctures the only thing about which is this has a shitload of radium in it drink this and you'll get your daily dose of radium which you want yep that's it between that and like lead products like um we were saying a thing about the diatlov pass i don't know if you guys are familiar with that one where people went like hiking and ended up all being dead or whatever and then there was uh did they solve the diatlov pass mystery ultimately they concluded like five or six years ago there was like a a guy that went out and said yes they think what ended up happening was there was an avalanche like a minor a minor avalanche that came down and hit the tent which is like usually the precursor to a bigger avalanche so i think that the people burst out of the tent to run away thinking you know what i'm doing i'm just gonna go to bed i'm gonna go to bed i'm gonna go to bed there was another avalanche but since there wasn't a bigger one they were just out there fucking freezing to death because they didn't get all their stuff in time because they were running thinking there's gonna be an avalanche they tried building like a little campfire or hiding under like some some rock structure that ended up collapsing ultimately hypothermia they for all froze to death or got crushed by shit to death thinking they were escaping an avalanche that never came couldn't be me i have this regular thought experiment i'm like okay what if i was transported into the siberian wilderness like boom i'm naked in the middle of the frozen tundra what do i do and the answer shockingly isn't die immediately i i i i figure away you figure away non-specifically i figure it out well i once i watch enough outdoor boys youtube channel videos i'll know exactly what to do nothing makes your brain move faster than the cold right you just yeah i absolutely have that same confidence i've never once started a fire without the aid of like a lighter and flammable shit i would definitely figure it out i would within the first few hours i would have camp set up i would have enough shelter with some kind of fire that i would survive that i'd have to work out food because you have to figure out the food situation but that's not as immediately pressing as dying of exposure so yeah i figured no i see what you're saying i figured out i was thinking of the franklin expedition which was uh like 160 odd years ago so 10 cans used to not be 10 cans they were lead cans and a lot of food so they had this long expedition where they were trying to find a trade route through like the arctic all of their meals they were like eating out of lead cans which you know how good lead is for you and then they got stuck in the ice and a bunch of shit went wrong you know they all died whatever how have you but like yeah lead we used to eat lead we're just like oh lead paint lead cans lead i know about this because i went to norway and so you get it from the norwegian perspective of the people they were racing to find like an arctic path and then the first to the south pole is also another part of that and every time from the norwegian's perspective was just like yeah Yeah, and then the British really fucked up. they did not know what they were doing at all and it's like especially to the south pole one where it's like the norwegian expedition is like oh it's such a race it's very arduous you know they have to send people back all the time and they get there and their first plant their flag from the british perspective it's like and then 13 people died on the first leg and then they shot all their horses on the second leg and then they lost another person and there were four people left to climb the last ridge and one person went there and or uh maybe a few and then they get there and there's already a norwegian flag after all of their people died and their horses are dead they did not make it back they all died so yeah from the norwegian perspective uh these these franklin's lost expedition does not surprise me i'm curious what we're gonna find i'm sure something with fast food will come out in like 200 years where they're like these fuckers voluntarily went and spent their money eating this poison plastics it's definitely microplastics yeah at least we're aware you know but there's probably something we're not aware of right i'm already like 18 microplastic when i die i'm either gonna be buried or recycled i'm too much plastic to be cremated i'm bad for the environment that's true sadly you can't recycle plastic can't you well you can but they don't i i've been so disheartened because when i get my trash collected i see them pick up the garbage can throw it in the back and then i see them pick up the recycling can throw it in the same spot and i go oh man maybe there's a there's like a divider system it's just like shunts it and i still i still separate my recyclable i still do it even though i know what's happening to it there i'm still like i i'm doing my part i i can't imagine not i know that it's not this is just like a privilege thing because i grew up in a in a better off neighborhood and whatever i grew up where i grew up i grew up we had recycling like my whole childhood as far as i remember so literally the way you take the trash out is you separate out the recycling and take it out and you have two bins and that it's always been like a and i can't i can't even imagine not because because i like you i'm sort of disillusioned about the state of industrial recycling and what what they actually do with any of the stuff and that i pay for the extra recycling service seems really stupid but like it's a compulsion how do you put out your trash if you're not separating the recycling and like making sure like oh this is a number one that can go in the recycling that's good okay i have neighbors in the neighborhood i live in now who just have just a trash can in my brain and i'm like oh my god i can't even imagine that's like what do you just keep your recycling what do you recycle it yourself my grandparents did that they would keep the recycling and take it in themselves they got one of those like can crushers where they just put the cans and i love that i feel like i would be better off just trying getting a smelter and melting all my aluminum cans down and smelting it smelting out and i could smelt it into things dude you could you could make your own custom heat sinks get some kind of mold well you have 3d printers right so you could 3d print and then make a sandcast of your 3d print and then use the sand sand molding to make like perfect little shelves you can make them with capri sun insert slots for cooling i just melt down the capri suns do you ever watch uh night hawk in lights videos they're the person that got me into glauber's salt i do not they made a video about two weeks ago that had a like it's to make flow batteries and it's not about flow batteries it kind of tangentially nuclear so i'll take some points for this uh but it's like he's making okay well i don't know that's how this one works he's making a flow battery and he needs like this sort of graphite material to have like a lot of surface area for the anode and cathode right um of a battery and it's like there's this extremely expensive material that you can buy in bulk but it's expensive but you can make your own using this carbon insulation material that then you strip with some fluid and then put in your microwave kiln and microwave till it's too hot and then you can make your own and then you can make your own and then you can make your own and then you can make your own and then you can make your own and i'm like holy shit this is why i think microwaves don't work the way people say they do because it's just like he had it in this is that safe to go that high he had it outside so it's perfectly fine uh but it's just like i i know they say like oh it heats up by water molecules vibrating and that's what heats your food and i go like well then why when you put aluminum foil into it it turns into plasma what water molecules are vibrating and it's just like oh my god it's vibrating to do that and i'm like there's i i want to make a microwave smelter well i don't know why that wouldn't work i couldn't tell you why it would work either but i definitely don't know why it wouldn't work in los angeles this is probably the best thing i could do does not sound like the headline of the next fire that destroys a major residential area at all what would you be smelting metal aluminum cans i'm recycling i'm helping the environment yeah there's only so many things you could smelt at home you don't want to be you can't be doing high temp like high temperature complicated shit call me crazy here but isn't isn't that the one thing you're not supposed to put in a microwave is metal no no they just say that so you don't discover it's yeah it's dangerous if you don't if you're not doing it on purpose it's dangerous because you might do something you're not expecting but isn't it dangerous if you do it on purpose oh it just becomes a plasma what about that one youtuber who who created like a 20 000 watt microwave and it is talking about william william osmond no styro pyro have you seen his 40 like 400 car battery experiment yes that just literally melts and causes the magnetic feels so strong all the wires to the thing just he made a microwave that was unbelievable he called it a microwave dude i get nervous just plugging things into the wall i wouldn't fuck with that yeah well he seems to not care about that so maybe you should reevaluate your priorities i'm a coward you are a coward i'll take some points for that can i just say as a i would never salt bar first opportunity wade you fucking bitch that was an hour into recording that was not the first opportunity hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save i i know as a completely ignorant non-scientist myself how the fuck do we have things that are so ubiquitous that we don't understand the technology do we sincerely not really understand how microwaves work because every house in america definitely has at least one of those bad boys sitting somewhere inside that makes popcorn once every two months at minimum it's no there it's understood how like the microwaves are generated the wave guide putting them in there the the kind of but like it's not clear how it heats things up or why aluminum becomes plas like i i know that you said that but like that's a thing right people are like oh we don't even know how it works completely i think i don't know how it works completely i'm sure there's plenty of scientists that could explain it better than i could i think it probably is a it probably does make water molecules vibrate in food and then it also does other things depending on the material like it might scientists explain it to me like i'm a host on distractible whatever intelligence level you think that represents but that that's a that's maybe it's just complicated or hard for normies to understand you're not the first and or only person i've heard say that right it's a common like it's one of those things people just throw out we're like ah we don't even really know how microwaves work there has to be some amount of truth to that but i don't think it's that or like maybe we didn't for a long time or something obviously not that because they make them so they know how to make the thing that emits the microwaves to begin with and they contain them theoretically so that it's safe to be in your house but there's some mystery in it what's the mystery you got me but it makes things hot makes a hell of a good pizza roll if you do it right whoa whoa are you are you telling me you microwave pizza rolls tell me you do this to yourself on purpose what's wrong with that i i find a way to make them better there than i feel like they come out in the oven yeah wrong it's a hell of i know it's a hell of an accusation but like there's one thing that microwaves don't do it's make anything in the known universe crispy and that's the only thing i want with my pizza rolls is a little bit of crispiness if you overcook them in the microwave they do come out crispy and i feel like they're better than when they're in the oven i haven't had uh pizza rolls since i've gotten an air fryer but i bet an air fryer would do it really well dude air fryer is the way air fryer is the truth when it comes to pizza rolls it's air fryer is basically just an oven with a fan it's a convection oven yeah but it's small so you could put only the amount of food you actually want to eat inside of it which is problematic if what you want to eat is 20 chicken wings 20 chicken wings would fit in my air fryer you just have to have the right air fryer i'm hungry so i'm eating lunch nuclear we've really gone nuclear we've gone microwave we've gone king's island we've gone plastics i will say i think that modern nuclear technology probably is pretty safe and if it's made not cheaply and correctly it probably is oh absolutely yeah but like i guess long-term ramifications are like is it safe 500 years from now like does the how how do they replace all the infrastructure i'm sure there's probably a plan hopefully in place also there is nuclear waste and the way that the half-life of nuclear material works is it radiation and shit like that sticks around a while so eventually you're gonna have a lot of waste that's what i was gonna say is i'm not an expert but my understanding is that nuclear power is just as safe as current standards and also like the the most environmentally effective version of generating electricity except it does generate nuclear waste and our current solution for that is put in that big fucking mountain and nobody go over there and we'll just hope that never fills all the way up so we can keep putting it in that big mountain that we made um but like yeah assume that's at some point in the future someone will invent the whatever device and it will remanufacture nuclear waste into probably puppy food or diapers for babies who knows my baby's ass is glowing is that normal doctor oh so you could change it in the dark without having to turn on the lights and wake your poor baby well i mean okay the thing about nuclear waste is it really doesn't generate that much compared to other energy mediums because nuclear power is so dense compared to other any other form of it so either we put it in one spot in the ground and don't touch it which you know someone could i guess sabotage it or we do what we currently do which is shoot it all in the air like all the byproducts just oh why can't we just launch our nuclear waste to the moon oh i thought you said sun uh you almost had a smart idea yeah see i guess it would be expensive to put it in a thing that's safe to get through the atmosphere and then also its job is to go explode on the sun it's like restaurants in the 90s we just need to make sure that we're in the non-smoking section of the earth and everyone else can have the nuclear fallout when that happens right we need to make sure that we're in the non-smoking section of the earth and everyone else can have the nuclear fallout when that happens right maybe yeah actually we just we just put a big non-nuclear sign over america and that'll keep all the nuclear dust out of our atmosphere we just designate some parts of the world as being the ew zone and we'll put all of our ew there don't we already have that isn't it called the ew we could i had an idea you can say it i'll look i'll just take my points i don't know i forgot what it was is that how this episode works you just ask for points you didn't ask for points he told yeah yeah i'll just take them true all right well that's nuclear power everyone we've we've done it we've gone nuclear the waste we're just gonna launch into a mountain and if you guys finally want housing to be affordable just buy it near the nuclear waste site i remember why can't we throw it in a volcano that thing you said about it going in the atmosphere i think a volcano would just be a much cooler version of that wouldn't it oh you throw it in there it'll melt down you see we're putting all of our waste up and then you take a big cork and you go and that way it stays in there till it's all gone see this is why science works in teams you got the ideas all build and then you're pressure cooking it so you can use it again yeah yeah what if i put it in a can crusher and i put that in my microwave and i turn it into something else it will become a plasma which i've heard is a good thing to donate to blood banks so i assume is a good thing but i got nuclear powered plasma running through my veins i have at least three days to live that'd be a long time you kind of don't want that at that point if you get nuclear plasma in your blood now one thing i learned is how awful radiation sickness and death is from when you were a problem in the airport and the police interrupted your chernobyl watching yeah i was talking i was like guys listen what if we all just go to chernobyl as one we could all be a cult and we want your photograph like sure that seems normal this reminds me of a story uh that i don't think i did i tell when i went from poland to back to america and we were in line for the security and then someone walked through these these two little pylons and one of them started beeping right and it was one of those beeps where i was like that's a new one haven't heard that one before and everyone goes quiet and it's quiet for like a minute before this guy security guard comes out and he's got a hand detector for something and he's waving it like this and it's not like clicking like a geiger counter it's beeping and he's just sweeping around looking around everyone's dead silent looking at this guy and he's just and he goes up to someone there's a woman who i thought was like holding a baby and he's holding the thing right up to what i think is a baby and it's going and he just was like just gestures with his finger i'm not hearing any words exchange and it's like they're slowly meandering and what'll happen is this guy keeps waving it as he's going but he's like follow me they go through the pylons it goes beep again and every once in a while he'll stop turn around go to the people that are following him and it's like taking a couple steps at a time he's sweeping around come with me and then they left no announcement nothing was said everyone just resumed back into security no clue what it was i have no idea it was at the poland airport anybody know what that was it's actually just a system they use to keep order he gets all those people back to the back and they're all terrified and he's like oh it's okay we're just gonna look at your passport so that you could go we just use that to keep the crowds chilled out yeah everyone out there is gonna be freaked out for the whole rest of the time they're here it's great it's actually a detector for full arts really valuable pokemon cards and whenever that went off the guy knew that she had one he's like i gotta confiscate this kept it in a baby papoose just like it's just cards all the way down laughing i had to buy a little like carry-on bag to bring the cards back because our suitcase was already so full going there i was like you stuffed a carry-on full of pokemon cards you have a problem sounds like a federal crime or something cross state lines did you pay taxes on that it went through their scanner they let me through i guess i could have driven it across state lines and it would have been fine too that's weird i hope someone tells us what that meant because now i'm curious i want to know what that was i'll take some points for mark's story thanks uh can i get the same you guys are certainly getting something well it's points i assume any final thoughts on nuclear i'm gonna wrap this one up i don't know if i had any original thoughts on nuclear but you're welcome great that's how this show works i bring up a topic and you just don't give a fuck yeah pretty much bounty bounty bounty oh what is that it's a picture of my dog in a distractible merch oh shit how do we confirm this is there or is it we look at the bounty what do you mean how do we confirm this we can i'm showing you what oh you mean how do we confirm it's a bounty yeah it's on the list that that is on the official list on the subreddit that is a bounty i had a picture of the moon and i for some reason couldn't find it i was like i had a picture that i managed to take with my gopro of like it through a telephoto lens and i got a good picture of it and i can't find it so i ran out and i put the shirt on chica number four on the may list of bounty additions recent persimmon 4148 get a picture of their dog in distractible merch shirt specifically shirt which he did do all right bounty confirmed over dean that's our first bounty that's what i'm talking about i forgot to get the coin flip right after i walked away from those fans i was like fuck ah shit i completely forgot yeah now that you say it i had a hell of a way to bookend that story of me holding up the entire roller coaster ride if i had just done the coin flip thing then and there and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry but it didn't fucking occur to me i wish i'd pull out a coin turn to the cops have been like i want to play a game well that's why that's why when we have this thing and people will sam don't put this in when we have this you know when it's ready we'll have this always on us yes yes yes i think you should believe that but just sam blur it to death so they have no idea what's happening you'll you'll love that when you get to know what it is i guarantee it i'm like the men's warehouse guy we'll go through the points bob you got points for like a dog biting a mailman nuclear pillow room peter slash not mark jab mark sized human not an insult called me a coward yes insult fan in the worst way at king's island and you got some points for wanting points mark you got points for a thick cedar picture thorium salt reactor if people are saying nuclear society's in a good place if we're fighting over the way to say words learning about the franklin expedition in norway i asked what would be the thing in 200 years we look back on our era and be like bad idea you said plastic very quickly uh you met some very tall fans you had a tangential nuclear story you brought up the macro microwave stuff you asked for points a couple times you got a couple points for asking for them uh and then you got the i gave you three points for the bounty because it's the first bounty we've ever done we said two to three points it's our first ever bounty so i gave out the three uh our totals it was 11 to 7 mark and then mark got three for the bounty so you didn't really need to use that bounty here so he's 14 to seven wait a minute whoa whoa three i thought regular bounties were one i thought we said two to three judges i only gave three i would say something that's as low effort as getting your dog picture in a shirt is doesn't rise to the level of like oh that's an extraordinary bounty that's not a super hard one i i would agree that it's a two-pointer so i gave a point for it being the first ever bounty redeemed oh jesus wow all right well so and i figured if he was going to use it on an episode he was already dominating might as well give him the point now for it right come on golf rules let's do this all right oh and i have four points one of which is a mark insult because i thought bob insulted mark but it was really just me insulting him on the inside or something it's your own prejudice shining through you jerk oh great wheel we ask you how many spins will we do in the next round of the game we're going to do a lot of them i'm going to ask you how many spins will we do today two it is thank you we need to pick me up you know sometimes people just have a bad time or a bad week so i'm going to add Had the worst time since we last spoke. Because you know what? A point for that at least means you're getting something out of it. That's good. That's good. I hope I get that one. I had a great week, but you know. Got 113 options. Like, one of them will save me in this situation. I got two spins to find it. What are the odds? Let's go, baby. It's only between you two, right? So since I'm on the board with four, it wouldn't go to me, right? I don't know. I don't think we've ever had that precedence. Post interruptions of the other guy. Which other guy? I don't remember what that means. I think whenever, like, one of the competitors is talking, the other person interrupts a bunch. That's kind of what I do. Yeah, but we have a separate rule where if none of us can remember what the rule is, we delete it. But I think we know what that one is. Is that a respin or do you want to call that Wade? Because we probably interrupted each other, but it wasn't aggressive this episode or anything. It doesn't stand out. I would say respin. Spin number one, part two. Mention their significant other the most. I said Amy. I. Both of you mentioned your significant others, and I did not mention Mandy a single time, I don't think. I would have if I had done small talk. I will be honest. My small talk included Mandy. I had it prepared. We'll never know. Yeah, I'll probably forget it by the time we record the next one. Anyway, come on, golf rules. Come on. Okay. It's minus one to current loser. Is that me or you? Because I'm on the board. If you can't win, it's me because you're not the winner or the loser. You're the host. So that means I'm the current loser. That's hilarious. You get a bad day. You just need to make it worse. Back to my old ways with the random chance games. I love this for me. Let's flip some coins. I'm feeling it, guys. Final score is me with five. Oh, no. Bob with six. Okay, I beat Wade. Thank God. Mark with 15. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. That might be one of the biggest point differentials we've had, at least in recent memory. Mark really went off at the end there, and then he had the bounty on top of it. So, yeah. Bob, loser speech. Sometimes the universe speaks to you, and who am I to question the wisdom of the universe? I suck, and I deserve to lose. So says the wheel. So says the universe. So it must be true. Today, it's just the truth of everything. I suck. I should not have won, and I did not win. And the one who should have won clearly did. So thank you, universe, for your infinite wisdom. Thank you, Wade, for not giving me any points for most of what I said. And congratulations to Mark, clearly the better competitor and person on today's episode. Uh, Mark, our liege, our king, our leader, our most dominant winner. Would you like to give a winner's speech? My goodness, I can barely be humble with all these accolades being heaped upon me. But I will humbly accept them all. I did it. Whatever I did, whenever I was saying the random stuff, and we were both saying pretty random things the entire time, I said it better, somehow. Which just shows that fate aligned with me on this day. What Bob said was right. It was purely the gods above smiling down upon us. And I think that that is something you can just let happen. You don't need to mention it a lot. You don't need to look it in the eye. It's just happening. I'm not going to say I did anything about it, because that will keep it going. As long as I don't acknowledge it ever happened, my winning streak will continue, and the good luck will shower upon me. For the moment that I look it in the eye, it will turn on me, and it will rip me from twain to twain. Both twains? Both my twains are going to be ripped straight out. From Mark all the way to Shania. Yeah, your host speech. Both of them don't like the way I did points, even though Mark won with them. So I won't be winning again anytime soon. So enjoy this while it lasts. I'll see you all next season whenever I host again. Congratulations. If you haven't already, go follow Bob at MySquared, Mark at Markiplier. Don't follow me. Stay tuned for the next one, where Mark will host, and we'll probably definitely not do the perfectest crime. Unless. Podcast. Out. Home of the save. Join for just $20 at BJ's dot com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the save. Starting a business can seem like a daunting task. Unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website, to marketing, to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need. There's a reason. And millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into. 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