Give your to-do list a makeover

You're listening to LifeKit from NPR. Hey, it's burial. I keep it to do list on a notepad on my desk. And when I looked at it not too long ago, I noticed something. It's kind of all over the place. On a given day, it might read, "Make Allergist Appointment" by Razors, Retile Kitchen Floor, "Throw Out Compost." Microblading, question mark. Microblading, by the way, is something you do to make your eyebrows look fuller. It's like a tattoo that lasts a couple years. I mean, the list is filled with tasks, but some are big and some are small. Some are urgent and some are definitely not. Some, I'm not even sure it should be on there. Like the microblading, which I frantically scribbled down after the lady at my eyebrow threading salon asked who messed up my eyebrows so bad. Hi, yeah, that was me and a tweezer. But yeah, I just never felt like I've had a good system for making it to do list and deciding what goes on it. I don't think I'm alone in that. So on this episode of LifeKit, we are exploring how to make a better to do list because there's a lot we want to do and a well-made to do list can help. When you make it to do list that's aligned intentionally with what you want out of your life, it's really powerful. We'll teach you how to break down your goals into actionable tasks and to figure out a to-do list system that works for you. So to-do lists, there are tools we use to get stuff done, right? And I mean, how good does it feel when you finally cross off that task that's been hanging over your head? But warning, to-do lists can also become a trap. They can feed our impulse to stay productive at all times. The thing is, we don't want to make a better to-do list just so we can indiscriminately accomplish more. It's about doing what matters. That's Angel Trinidad, the CEO and founder of Passion Planner, a company that makes digital and paper planners that show people how to break down their goals into day-to-day actions. You can access a free version of the planner on their website. So, take away number one in making a better to-do list as Angel was saying. Decide what matters to you in this moment. Because wouldn't it be great to fill our to-do lists with intention? So the stuff on them is actually helping us get somewhere? One way to do this is to come up with a big picture goal. Something that's especially important to you right now. Something that would make a big impact in your life. Angel calls it a game changer. What is that one thing that would make everything easier, better? And that answer is different for everyone. To come up with that goal, ask yourself some questions. What do I want to be? What do I want to experience? And what do I want to have? Maybe you want to be more present in your physical body. If so, your goal could be to run a 5K. Or maybe you want to give back to your community. So your goal is to volunteer once a week. Or you want to become a doctor. So your goal? Take the MCAT. Now sometimes you don't choose the goal. Life hands it to you. Like sometimes your parent is sick. Or sometimes your dog is sick. Or maybe you need a finding job. Or else you're not going to eat. And that might be your reality for now. Whatever it is, once you have a goal, you'll break it down into actionable steps and deadlines to put on your to-do list. And we'll get to that. First though, I want to acknowledge this goal making approach might feel kind of top down. Like maybe you don't have a big picture goal in mind yet. And that's okay. Oliver Berkman is a journalist and author. He wrote the book "4000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals." That's how many weeks are in the average human life, by the way. And he says another option is to let your current to-do list guide you. There are various exercises out there like you might know the one that involves asking why five times in succession. For instance, my to-do list says "Retail Kitchen Floor." Oliver says I could work backwards from there. So like I want to retile my floor why to make that room look better. Why? And you know, eventually you hopefully get to something that feels like a bedrock valley of your life. And if you don't, maybe that's a sign that it's a kind of a zombie project that could be easily abandoned. Another tip from Oliver, look at the stuff that's filling your to-do list at the moment and ask. Do these choices enlarge me or diminish me? He says this question comes from the psychotherapist James Hollis. And he finds it really clarifying and more useful than asking something like, "Is this making me happy?" You know, lots of life is not so happy but can be really meaningful and plenty of pleasures are kind of shallow and pointless and you don't want to fill up your life with them. But does this enlarge me? Well, let's use work as an example. Maybe your job right now is hard, but is it the kind of hard that's helping you grow as a person and develop skills? Or is it the pointless kind of hard? If it's the latter, maybe it's time to add update resume and pick three jobs to apply to to your to-do list. Once you have a sense of your priorities and your goals, it's time for takeaway two. Pick a system, a way of making a to-do list that works for you. One question to get you started, paper or digital. Angel says some people like paper to-do lists because they're concrete and tactile. And what I also love about to-do lists on paper is when you cross it off, there's nothing like it. Also, paper comes to an end. When you put it digitally, there's no end. You can keep going. And I think that's when to-do lists get really overwhelming. It's kind of like a cluttered room. When it's too much, then you just avoid it completely. Digital has its pluses, though. If you make a to-do list on your phone, it's searchable and quite possibly more organized. If you do choose digital, there are lots of websites and apps you can try. Some are built into your phone. Some you can download. Folks on a life kit team have used the free versions of "To-do list, notion, a sauna, and trello." Another question to ask yourself, how do you want to structure your to-do list? Some people prefer a kind of calendar approach with the hours of the day listed. I like to time block on my agenda, and it's literally making a square of time for the task. So, you know, Thursday from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. I'll be working on my novel. Wednesday from 7 to 8 p.m. I'll be at soccer practice. Friday from 5 to 5.30. I'll be cleaning my apartment. This method is called time boxing. And it can be a good way to understand how much you can realistically tackle in a day, since you're visually blocking off time for each of your to-do's. That kind of awareness gets you thinking, am I spending my time in a way that makes sense for me? And what my intention is for my life. But again, this is about finding a system that works for you. For Oliver, trying to plan this way, feels too rigid. I've never really found it works to make a very rigorous association between a task and the time of day. Because my moods, my responsibilities as a parent, random emergencies that arise, you just can't sort of say, "I'm absolutely going to be doing this thing between 3 and 3.40." You have to with appointments and things, but if you try and do it with everything, very quickly it feels imprisoning. It feels like life isn't any fun anymore, even if you're working on things that matter. So another option is a straight up list of tasks. Call me old-fashioned, but that's what I'm sticking with. Remember, by the way, whatever you pick, is just a starting point. An important thing here is to feel like your systems for organizing your life can evolve constantly. We'll have more life kit after the break. All right, we're back with life kit. Once you have a system in mind, take away 3. It's time to fill your list. Let's start with an acknowledgement. There are some things you just have to get done. The tasks of daily living. Refill that prescription by groceries. Get more toilet paper. Those tasks can go on your to-do list, but they don't necessarily have to. There's a thing within the productivity world called the two-minute rule. And if it takes less than two minutes, just do it right then. It's not worth spending the bandwidth to write it down. Hopefully, remember it. Hopefully, do it. You could also consider automating some of these things, so they never make the to-do list at all. Maybe you have toilet paper delivered to your house once a month. You're gonna need it. Okay, so we're meeting our daily needs. Now we want to reflect our bigger goals on our to-do list. Maybe what a mind is to redecorate my apartment. The thing is, and this is what trips a lot of people up, that's not a to-do list item. So often things hang around on our to-do lists, and we don't get them done, because we're not even expressing them in a doable form. Let's break this down. Which parts of the apartment do I want to redecorate? Well, definitely the kitchen. I want to replace the tile floor. Still not actionable enough. We're gonna have to go even smaller. Call the hardware store for an estimate. Now that's doable. Go look at tile. That's doable. Order the tile. Also doable. These are the kind of things to put on your list or in your planner. Oliver says you also might consider limiting your to-do list to four or five doable tasks at a time. And you're not gonna add a new one to that list until you've moved one away, thereby freeing up a slot. That can help you stay focused, because you can't do everything at once. And that's takeaway four. Pick something to let go. In his book, Oliver talks about the art of creative neglect. He borrowed that phrasing from graphic novelist and creativity coach Jessica Abel. You're gonna be not excelling on a whole load of dimensions. If you're gonna be like a really good parent and a really good employee, then you're probably not gonna be able to be a really good, I don't know, runner of triathlons or something. There's a million. examples. We really can't do it all, at least not simultaneously. So as you're making your to-do list with your big picture goals in mind, pick something to fail at too. To say, well, okay, instead of constantly being dismayed when I realize that I'm not superhuman, I'm going to make a decision about a few things in advance, but for this season of my life I'm just not gonna be doing. So like, you know what, I'm not gonna be keeping a tidy, beautiful house while dealing with a newborn baby and working full-time, you know. And he says, "When you choose what to fail at ahead of time, you're really changing your mindset because months from now when you see your messy house, maybe you won't actually feel like you're failing. Instead, you could see it as a reminder of your values in this moment and what you've committed to." Okay, time for a recap. Take away one. Figure out what matters to you. What are your priorities at this moment? Do you have a big goal or project in mind? Take away two. Pick a to-do list system. Paper or digital. Our by hour or a simple list of tasks. The system can change. This is just a starting point. Take away three. Fill your list with the tasks of daily living, but also with steps toward your big picture goals. And take away four. Pick something to fail at. You don't have to do everything all at once. And you definitely don't have to do it all well. Also, remember that to-do lists exist to serve us. We don't answer to them. So if you're to-do list, just making you feel bad about yourself or your life, crumble it up, brodo, and start over again when you're ready. I think that a lot of us seem to go through life feeling like we're in sort of productivity debt. You know, we've got to work really hard today to try to pay off the debt by the end of the day. But remember, Oliver says, there's nothing you need to do to earn your right to exist. Before we go, an editorial note. We want to let you know that Angel Trinidad, the founder and CEO of Passion Planner, and LifeKit reporter producer Andy Tagle, have been friends since college. But we asked Angel to share their experience with us, not because of this personal relationship, but because for other life kit staffers, independently discovered Passion Planner, and found it to be a really useful tool to help them manage their time. You're supporting LifeKit just by listening to this episode. But if you feel like showing your support for LifeKit even more than you already do, you can sign up for LifeKit Plus. Find out more at plus.npr.org/lifeKit. This episode of LifeKit was produced by Audrey Winn. It was edited by Sylvie Douglas. Our digital editor is Malika Garib, and our visuals editor is CJ Riccalon. Megan Kane is our senior supervising editor, and Beth Donovan is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle, Clarem Maree Schneider, Margaret Serino, and Mika Ellison. Engineering support comes from Quacy Lee and Josephine Neonye. I'm Mary Elle Sagara. Thanks for listening. [MUSIC]