Girl Dinner Diaries | Reading Reddit Stories

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It's being referred to as kind of the women's bathroom of the internet for people to share anything that's going on in their life and get advice from. They're fellow women and femmes. And I'm joined by. I'm not sure what I'm joined by right now. I don't know what's going on. Amanda and Courtney are here. Woo! Hi, Shane. Two good girl dinners. If I was a girl dinner, I'd be bolognese, meaty sauce. Yeah, I love that. Hello! We're starting here. Meaty sauce. You get it all over yourself. And I got some wine. Is that what you asked? Yeah, I guess. Sure. Courtney, do you want to follow that up? Yeah, what would be your girl dinner, Court? Pizza! Oh, my God. Okay. That's so millennial. Help! What? You are millennial. Except what kind of pizza? Pineapple? Yeah, pineapple, jalapeno, green bell pepper. Shut your mouth. That sounds awesome. That's so random. That's so random. Random pizza. What would you have, a random burger? Well, I'm not a girl. A random burger. I'm not a girl, so I don't get to have dinner. Bitch, you're in girl dinner, so tell us what your dinner is. Okay, fine. Early this year, we did battle bracket girl dinner. I won. Thank you so much. You did win. But we had a lot of amazing girl dinners. I feel like that version of girl dinner, though, is like, what do you do in a scrap? Whatever. Like, what do you do in a scrap? In a scrap. Like, I don't have much time. Whatever. A scrap. It's a struggle meal or a. I'm a scrap. a scrap, whatever. In a scrap. Like, I don't have much time, whatever. A scrap. It's a struggle meal or a scrap. Because you said bolognese, so I'll say a shrimp scampi. Okay, okay. Bolognese was fake. I'm so sorry. My real girl dinner was, like, dates and cheddar cheese and stuff. What's yours? Whoa. That sounds amazing. Yeah, no. And it won. So, yeah. Girl dinner can be like a bunch of little things put together or a lot of ones. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever she just said, go off that. You got that? The only thing, because you know what I eat. Six ounces of chicken. The only thing I can compare it is, like, I have, like, a chicken breast that I've cooked. So I eat the chicken breast, and then I just go through the fridge and I just eat random vegetables. Berries. When I don't want to make a dinner, I'm like, well, I have chicken breast. I need to get protein. And then I'm like, oh, there's a red pepper. Let me eat that. And then I'll be like, there's a carrot. Let me eat that. You don't eat a red pepper like an apple? I'll just eat all the fruits and vegetables that I find. You are incredible, honey. I'm like, I'll have dates. I'm like, I need to be healthy. High-fat date cheddar cheese. Two IPAs and a joint. And that's the answer that I was looking for. Thank you. That's how you unlock the DLC for Hades. And by DLC, I mean I just get to enjoy it more. That's how you get that body, honey. Get it, sweetie. Alright, tell us about this subreddit more. I'm obsessed. Okay, Emily just described this subreddit. I'm obsessed with it. I want to do so much with it. Yeah, it's a really incredible subreddit, right? It's truly just a place for people to vent about their life, meant to get advice from fellow women. So this covers a variety of stories ranging from wins, sad stories, feral rants, you name it. Feral rants? Feral rants. Oh, yeah. It gets intense. The ones that I've come across, there's been a lot of heartbreaking ones that I've read. And, of course, all these stories are accompanied by a photo of the dinner that they're having. Or the meal that they're having. It could be breakfast or lunch. Cordy and I will describe the picture if you are only listening audio. Yes. In great detail. In great detail. Should we get into our first girl dinner? Yes, Daddy. Do you like that? Okay, okay. I'll switch that. Do you like that? Yes, sir. Copy Papa. Go ahead, Dad. Father. Captain. Captain. Captain Father. Alright. Alright. First post comes from Girl Dinner Diaries. And this was posted yesterday as of recording this. I got hey girly texted. Oh. And then here is the dinner. That's a plague text. Oh. Oh, okay. This is like thought out. These are not, I feel like on this subreddit they are not, like I said, it's not last minute put together. These are some really good dinners. We have salmon and we got some sushi takeout. We got a salmon sushi. Salmon with like some cucumber. Like a cut roll. And then these look like some beef bulgogi rolls. Yeah. Cut rolls. Amazing. And then this looks like whipped cream. Or ice cream. She must have a soft serve machine of some kind. I don't know what that is. That could be like some creamy rock shrimp or like. Ooh. And then this is like raw, this is like red onions with some mayo. There's something under it. Anyways, it's basically sushi. Delicious, delicious sushi takeout for a delicious dinner. That's like a girl. Meal. Yum. We were one month away from our four year anniversary. We moved in together in December. They started chatting in January and he apparently ended things with her late May. Every solo hiking trip, solo camping, going to the track alone, they were all with her. Took her on the dates. I was embarrassingly begging him to take me on. Okay. Oh my god. So for some context, because I mean I feel like we. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hey Girlie text. The Hey Girlie text. The Hey Girlie text means that the woman that her boyfriend was cheating on with her. The other woman. The other woman texted her out of to be like, hey. Hey Girlie. Your boyfriend's cheating on you. Cheating on you. Oh. That's That's devastating. That's a knife. Oh man. So he told me it was a lapse in judgment during a mental health crisis, which I knew he was having and trying desperately to help him. Our relationship got rough. He barely even looked or talked with me. Then he started therapy and it was like a switch. My boy was back and as loving as ever, but that was April, not two fucking weeks ago. He told me he started it because he was planning on breaking up with me because things got so rough, but he didn't have the heart to actually do it. He thought getting another girl would make it easier to leave me until he realized I was the one he was really in love with. Oh my god. They kissed and he would place her hands on his boner, but she refused to do anything more until he made it official with her. He wouldn't. Good for her. He said he never planned He said he never planned actually having sex with her, but when I pointed out that he literally tried to initiate multiple times with her that he realized he would have. What a fucking joke. Part of me wants to think that it was a bad mental snap. After all, he did take full accountability only after I brought it up, and it is seriously not like him to do something like that. I am close with his mom and called her and even she couldn't believe me and she's a no bullshit kind of lady. He knows how badly he fucked up and I did lose my shit on him a bit and he took it all. He told me he'll do absolutely anything and is 100% devoted to me and fixing our relationship going forward. Another part knows there's really no going back. I could maybe forgive it if it was once or twice, but for almost five months and blaming it on the mental health episode you had two months before you ended it with her, saying you're going out with your friends and then spending romantic dates with her just to come home to me as if our relationship is perfect. For months, he's in another country for the next 1.5 weeks. He offered to fly back immediately, but I told him not to. Oh yeah, he also invited her to go to this country with him, but knew she would say no. I can't help but read all the Reddit threads about people coming back from cheating. Some people have made it work. They say it takes a lot of effort from the cheating side and it seems he's hitting every point they needed for forgiveness so far, but all these examples have been from a drunken one night stand, not months of romantic dates and future planning. To top it all off, I just had leg surgery two weeks ago and still can't walk slash drive anywhere. He was so loving and caring during my recovery before he went on this trip. Did everything I needed plus more. Anyways, I had a bunch of sushi yesterday because I got my stitches out. I can't really eat anything tonight, so it's a mixture of salmon and beef. Oh, so it is salmon and beef. Yeah, that's what I said. That's what we said. The girl can't walk. She gets a hey girly text. Her boyfriend's not even there that she can approach, like talk to him, person to person. What makes me, what I really want to know is did the other woman know the whole time that he had someone else? Yeah, you have to wonder. I mean, because they weren't official. No, and they would only place thine hand upon thine boner. And she'd go not until we're official will I curl my hand and make a move. That means this woman told her about this. It's like, hey girly, just letting you know that he'll put his hand on my boner. I'll put my hand, I'll put his, he'll put my hand on his boner. But I'm not doing anything. And I'm like, no honey, but like, let me just see the size. But let me get a layup. So he's on the trip that he invited this other woman to go on with it. And he knew that she would say no. So what is that about? I don't care about that shit. He's just saying shit that's empty words. Yeah, totally. It all gives that he got caught. Yeah, he's not sorry. He's not genuinely sorry about what he did. He's sorry he got caught. Yeah. And he's being so helpful and more because he's guilty. Yeah. So, like, there was some time where he kind of got away with it for a while. Broke up with the other woman scotch-free. Five months. That's a long time. To be going on full romantic dates. That's an affair. And then dates that she wanted to go on. OP wanted to go on those dates so bad. And this guy would go, no, but that's a good idea. And then go and take somebody else. Yeah. So horrible. And he blamed it on, like, a mental health thing, which is, like, okay, valid. But five months. And she said that she was trying to win. And he was trying to work on it with him. So it sounds like he really was not working on it with her. No. And just, like, trying to get away and avoiding it with somebody else. Regardless, it's like, I'm so devoted to you. It's like, well, it's clear you're not. But he was also saying he was doing all of this because he was, like, planning on breaking up with her. I know. That maybe cheating on her would make it easier to break up with her. But now he's saying, no, you're the love of my life. It's made me realize you're the love of my life. It's like what Arasha said where it's like, oh, my God. Wait, I love my wife. Yeah, it's like all of this kind of doesn't matter now. This is so sad. None of the excuses hit if you were caught. Like, if you don't come first to confess it, you don't even say anything. Also, like, did he invite her on this trip with him? Well, she probably couldn't because of the surgery. Oh, yes. Of course. Yeah. So he just left her. Left her then. If this other woman hadn't broke it off with him, texted her, whatever, he would have continued doing this forever. So she needs to operate on knowing that. It sounds like she is very much in line with, like, she's saying it's over. But I also get it's hard for him. It's really, really hard. Also, even when he was being honest about having, like, mental problems and being like, oh, like, trying to work through them. No, he was never honest about any of it because those issues and that distress can come from having an affair and being dishonest with your partner. Like, he was lying and then double lying. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. He got caught and then he's coming up with excuses that really don't track with everything. It's also, like, it's the unfortunate thing, too, of, like, okay, so whenever things get hard, are you going to completely abandon me? Right, right. Like, all right, so we clearly can't work. Right, right. Also, stab in the heart to have, it's really, like, embarrassing and painful to have the other woman be like, hey, girl, I got your back. It's like, wow, okay, the other woman has to get your back and reach out to you and tell you what your partner is doing. Yeah. She has more respect for her than her partner does. And she doesn't even know her. I know. And we don't know if the other person knew that he was with her. Well, she knows now. She eventually figured it out, but we don't know because now they're kind of broken up. Yeah. So it's possible she found out and that's why she's no longer seeing him and everything. It's clear, like she says, she's read tons of stories online of other stories about infidelity and stuff and how they go and how some people can move on. Yeah. And move forward or whatever. I mean, it's, it's not. But it was all ones that were, it was like a one night thing. Yeah. Not an entire affair. OP is doing the work. OP is like researching. She's like, why did this happen? Why is this happening? And I think we do read a lot of cheating stories on Reddit and it is true. It's just like, sometimes it is like a one thing, but five months is, and I think maybe she, you know, got validated when she read a lot of other Reddit stories. Yeah. I'm just like, well. And then it got even more validated by the comments that are on this post, I'm sure. Yeah. And it's interesting because this is a story where they, he was not sleeping with this other person, but what's almost somehow worse is these elaborate romantic dates. Yeah. It's like, yeah, that it's like where it's like, oh, it was mostly emotional then, not so much physical. But the fact that she had to like walk him through why he was trying to make it physical. He was fully willing to go there. And like, yeah, it's, it's tough where maybe that's partially why OP is. OP was like, maybe trying to make it work because it hadn't gotten that far. But it's like, regardless, this person was like, it's two identities. Like you don't know this person when they're, when they're going that far like that. It was definitely cheating, even if they didn't get physical. But also, come on, a boner touch. Buddy. Yeah. Come on. You're trying to have her shift gears. Come on. Come on, pal. Second gear, fourth gear. He's like, don't drive the car. And she's like, I won't. I'm just checking out the gear. I don't know why. Where is she from? I don't know. I changed it up. Comments on this. Someone said, I wouldn't want to be with someone who, one, lacked enough respect for me to end things with me before beginning a new relationship. And two, didn't have the courage themselves to end their relationship before beginning a new one. It's not honesty if the truth comes out in breadcrumbs. It's only because you already know the answers to the questions you ask. You deserve better. So cowardly. That is well put. I think it's so cowardly to do anything but just be honest with the person and break up with them. Like, whether you choose to cheat or even just choose to stay in something that you're clearly not happy with, like, that person deserves better than just be honest. Don't waste any more of your guys' time. Like, oh, and to just, and just to go to somebody else too is just like, come on. Yeah. But I love this other girl. Honestly, I don't know how long she knew, but if she just found out and decided to reach out, good on you, girl. Yeah. I'm wondering what, what is this other girl's girl dinner? Yeah, what's her girl dinner? Is it just all meat? Like, beef? Just one hog. Sorry. From sticks of turkey? I'm sorry. Someone replied to that comment saying, I call these guys Tarzan. They refuse to release one vine until they have a firm hold on another. It's sad chicken shit behavior. He's going to do it again. He's going to do it again and drag her along any time he has another mental break. Like Brendan Fraser, Tarzan. That's George of the Jungle. Well, isn't that interesting too? Shut up. This guy. That's a different guy. Shut up. Didn't she say that this guy broke up with the other woman and time had passed and then eventually got the hey girly text, but that means time had passed and that this boyfriend had invited this girl she broke up with on this trip. So it wasn't over. So he's still like. He was still, he was still there. Yeah. He was trying to grip that vine. So he was Tarzan like this with two vines. He was in the middle of the jungle. You know when you're hanging on to two of the swings and you're like this? I also think my take on like this type of situation is it's like cool, maybe he's for real, but now she's going to forever go, were there other affairs before this one? Of course. Yeah, of course. And or is there going to be more? It's like, oh, no matter how much I want, my trust is gone forever. So this just simply can't work because of that. She would have never found out maybe if the girl didn't reach out to her. Yeah, exactly. And that's the power of girl dinner, man. It just connects you. Someone said, I would tell you to run, but with your leg surgery, I suggest you calmly and safely get away at your own speed. If you forgive him, in his mind, you are giving him a pass to cheat again in the future, 100% guaranteed. Someone said, I can give you a piggyback ride to get the fuck away from him. Someone said, I was a Reddit success story coming back from cheating. I married him and he tried to cheat again. Please don't waste your time. Right, literally? Sad. Someone said, he fucked around, now make him find out. Yeah, it is so rare to see a genuinely long-term success story. I would say it's certainly the extreme exception. Yeah. Like, I want to have faith in those things, but I would say it has to be so extreme. It has to be a lot of work, a lot of work together. It has to be very specific circumstances, but to me it's a no because he didn't even tell her. Oh, this one, yeah. No, if you are, if you are, I'm talking about in general, like whatever, but if you are caught, you are not the one who's telling your partner and they find out, you have to just, give them the respect of being like, I know this is over. It's done. Like, don't do the thing where it's like, we can make this work. Like, that makes you even more of an asshole. Yeah. My shoe untied. Oh my God, your shoe's untied? Hold on, everybody. 10 out of 10 girl dinner, by the way. Yeah, the girl dinner was good. The girl dinner was gorgeous. You ever try a bulgogi roll? Well, it's bulgogi beef. It's beef bulgogi. Oh, wait. Yes, I have. That's more like Korean food. In a sushi cut roll. It's a fusion. It's a fusion. Wait, I've had it in a beef roll and it's delicious. Oh, bulgogi rocks. You gripped the beef roll? Oh, yeah, I did. I was like, I was like what that guy wanted. Okay. I didn't get it. Faithful woman. Here we go. Our next girl dinner. Yes, yes, yes. My one year long gym crush liked me on Hinge. Oh, a gym crush. Gym crush is spicy because you are working out in tight spandex. All right. This is far more of a girl dinner here. Okay, okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, okay. Tupperwares. We love it. Hummus. And those little cucumbers. Thick cucumber. Uncut. She's gripping the. She's uncut. Uncut, sweetie. So it's carrots, cucumbers, and hummus. And it's one carrot and what's that other? It's two big ass carrots. One. No, that's. - That's too-- - Too big ass cucumbers. But little cucumbers. They're short. They're little, right? They're short and thick. They're like the little ones. Me at the grocery store looking at baby carrots. Look at these huge carrots. Whoa! Oh, you know what's funny? She writes exactly what it is. Oh, there's, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, baby cucumbers and baby carrots with hummus. Yeah. That's a nice healthy. We did a good job. We did great. Okay, that's along the lines of my girl dinner because I grab like vegetables and I dip them in hummus. Oh, you know what it is? You know why we were confused? Because it's like, wait, why is there two cucumbers in separate containers? That's the lid. So there's two Tupperwares. Oh, so she opened this up in a rush. She pulled out all the Tupperware and went. Read it. She's freaking out. She's freaking out because her one year crush. Yes! Oh my gosh. Here we go. Pre-dinner snack. There's way more food coming, but I'm too excited to wait. Of hummus and baby cucumbers and baby carrots. I had a gym crush at my old gym for pretty much a whole year. It wasn't just that he's crazy, handsome, unbelievably athletic, and very stylish. Oh my gosh. No, no, no, no. It's that his form on all his lifts were perfect. My man's cares about doing things right. He made 140 kilograms look like thin air. He could do multiple pull-ups with 20 kilograms chained to him. Uh, ahem, in exquisite form. Really, it was like watching art performed in real time. He liked me on Hinge. I messaged all my girlfriends asking if it'd be weird to bring up the gym because I've moved cities and haven't been there since February. They all. Begged me on to ask, and well, he ended up bringing it up. He was like, are you the girl from ex-gym? I thought about saying hello a few times, but you looked like you wouldn't want a bar of it. And I nearly cried. I couldn't believe a man this handsome could ever notice little old me. Anyway. And he can read the room. Yeah, very good, very good. Anyway, I need to work on the RBF, I suppose. But we are going on a date on Friday. We'll post update with outcome for those interested. This is so exciting. This is so exciting. I'm kind of obsessed. The way she said chain to him. My goodness. This woman should write a romance novel. You know a thing or two about those. Yeah, I do. Romanticies. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's so exciting. And that would not have been weird to bring up at all. Like, oh, wait, aren't you crazy? Are you the girl that, yeah. Excellent icebreaker. Yeah, are you? Yeah, are you the girl that squatted so well your butt almost hit the ground? Your butt almost exploded. Your butt hit the ground and then lifted back up like it was nothing? Yeah, and you went back up not because of your legs, because of your butt. It was your butt. It was crazy. Yeah, so is that you? Wait, was that you? Was that you with the butt? I couldn't tell. Oh, my God. Wow. That's amazing. Update. Are you fucking joking? Why even give us that? I don't know. I have to read comments and stuff first. That's like giving us sauce with nothing to dip it with. Are you joking? That's like someone going like, olive oil, a little bit of balsamic. Have a good night. Have a good night. No bread. Sorry. No bread. That's crazy, town. I think him not talking to her at the gym was like a green flag. Yes. It sucks because you want to be able to approach people, but the gym is a tough spot. The gym is a tough spot. It's a tough spot. I really do not want to be bothered when I'm at the gym. Same. No, I think an RBF is required at the gym. Yeah. There's unfortunately too many annoying people at the gym. Yeah. And I've worked out at so many different gyms, and I don't get bothered because I'm a gym. I'm a gym dude. But like, I know women get bothered constantly. Yeah. And that sucks. Yeah. And I think it's even just having that awareness that women get bothered at the gym. It's like, well, but I'm a nice guy. Maybe they'll be cool with me. It's like having that awareness is huge. Yeah. Yeah. I also work out early in the morning. I'm like, nobody wants to talk at 6 a.m. I'm like, everybody's trying to get to work. I don't know. I used to do Muay Thai very early in the morning, and people were chatty. People still do. People were chatty. Muay Thai is different, though, because you don't want to talk at 6 a.m. You have to partner up with people. So you kind of have to chat with random people. And I always kind of enjoyed it. Yeah. I guess that's a little. It was nice. It was fine. Yeah. No, when you and I talk about our gym experiences, it's so different. It is very different. Yeah, of course. Extremely different. You don't have a butt like her. Actually, that's not true. Yeah, you do. Yeah. I said I would stop talking about your butt, and I'm done. I'm literally done. No, you described my butt as being like, bow! Your butt's like, bah! Boom! Courtney's butt is like, bah, yeah. Oh, what's going on? Bah, yeah. Bah, yeah, what's going on? Some comments here. Someone posted a photo of a TV pastor praying intensely, going, Jesus, I'll see what you've done for other people, and I want that for me. Oh, I love that. I love that. Someone said, can we talk about the fact that he noticed you and still decided not to bother you? That's a green flag right there. The gym is no place. The gym is no place to hit on women. Yes! Someone said, my gym crush found me on Insta last year, and we've been together ever since, and recently celebrated our one-year anniversary. Go get it, girly! Get it, girly! Guys! Hey, girly! You can meet people at the gym. Not, like, directly at the gym, but you can meet people at the gym. Sorry, I looked at you. Yeah, later. What? Look at Shane. He's so respectful. He won't even laugh at it. Look at him all. Look at him all. Look at him all. Do you know what's happening? Do you know where you are right now? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Only guy to fail a sobriety test when he's sober. Turns out you're sober, but your vibes are off. Vibes are way off, buddy. We're taking you in. Okay, update. What the hell is wrong with you? Really? You're actually sober. I was like, what? Why? So, okay, now the garlic bread hits the table, and the girls go, why? Okay, we psyched you out. Here's the problem. The girls go crazy. Here's the whole baguette, and I just frickin' bow! A baguette? That's not good. No, no, no. Then the girls have to be like, which part do you want? You have to eat it like Scooby-Doo. Yeah. Okay. By the way, your butt is like, oh, whoa! Yeah, because it's been through shit. My butt has been through some stuff. Okay, I'm sorry. Meaning I had a child. It's been sitting and, you know, whatever, just move the fuck. I'm grateful. I loved that. So, this update comes from four. Three days later, check out this girl dinner. Hey. New girl dinner? That looks like a bolognese of some sort, maybe. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, wait. Why is there three bowls? Wait, wait, because they're having a threesome with another gym guy. Turns out he's two men. Oh, it's a dinner for, because it's, oh, my God, 24-hour pork ragout by my friends. Oh, my God. What's a friend's girls' dinner? Plural. The girls are having ragout together. Okay, okay, it's for her support system. Pork ragout. I thought it was for her. I thought it was like him, her, and whoever else was having the third bowl of ragout. No, it's the friends. It's the girlies together, and the parsley is about, has yet to be put on. Yeah, a really nice cutting board, too. Okay, here we go. We like that. In great detail, we said. By the way, I really loved my butt sound. I really did appreciate it. And I meant, I didn't mean it like it's been through a lot. No, no, no. It's like, whoa, wow. Yeah, and that was it going like, wow, the world is wild, and whoa, I'm still here. And I love it. I like that. All right. Dinner from the other night because no appetite because I am sick. 24-hour pork ragout by my friends with homemade linguine by yours truly for three because my support system is elite. Oh, no. Guys, I'm so sorry for the delay. I was honestly tossing up whether to post this or not for fear of being accused of karma farming, and I can't edit the original post, nor do I know how to pin a comment, and perhaps someone can enlighten rather than tear me down. I want to keep things very vague because he deserves privacy, so probably no juicy details beyond we had fun, we might meet again, but limerence is an invisible hand that can greatly mislead. Someone commented that I needed to stop idolizing this man and that I was in danger. I'm glad to report I was absolutely not. He is very polite, but I believe at our cores we are very different people, and I'm not one to embrace opposites attract. Personally, I'm in a chapter of my life where I'd like for things to fit with ease, and I'm not convinced this is the case here. But everyone deserves a second chance. To all the men who called me a slut and berated me for only caring about looks, I hope this proves you wrong. Why were there men in the comments? Because women aren't allowed to be happy. Why are there men? What the fuck? Get the men out of here! You can call us hot, you can call us too thin, too fat, whatever, but we can't call a man handsome, chained up. Let us live, bitch. Go eat. Go eat your fucking six-ounce chicken. Nothing against you, buddy. Them. All of them. Them. That's crazy. How much is 20 kilograms again? Computer, tell me how much 20 kilograms. Is that a 45-pound weight? Yeah. Nice. That's impressive. Can you do that? I don't know. A pull-up with a 45-pound weight is really intense. Yeah, exactly. You can do so many pull-ups, though, that I feel like maybe one big one will be okay. Yeah, do one big one. With perfect form? That's really hard. See, that's what you should say in the comments. Not calling this woman a slut. Men are not supposed to be commenting, in Girl Dinner Diaries. Yeah, get them out of here. The only thing that would have been funny is if they were all just commenting about, like, form and weights and stuff. Yeah. All right. To all the people who told me I had a whole year to shoot my shot and why did I wait when I could have taken action, you're actually right. I hope to be braver from this point going forward. And most importantly, of course, to all the support I got, which was entirely unexpected, thank you. I do not want this underwhelming update to deter the romantics out there. I believe my big love is out there, and I'm bloody 30. Everything that must be will be. And good luck to all the muscle mommies out there. I love you. I loved reading your personal stories of connecting your gym crush getting married and living a full life together may love like that find us all oh yeah damn that doesn't feel like a type of story that you're it's like you need to go in and it's like oh a guy like uh we matched on hinge it's like well let me critique you let me tell you ruin your day with my insecurities and jealousy jesus yeah yeah a little bit of joy seriously and also while we're at it we need to get a camera on emily because i just want a camera to cut back to us and back to emily being like emily cam it's crazy because nothing happened literally nothing has happened girl they matched on hinge and it's so cool that like life can happen in that way where she had a crush on a guy and he happened to like her too and then you know they found out that maybe oh we're different people yeah because it's true looks aren't the end-all be-all decider of whether a relationship will work totally so and yeah she like the fact that she debated on the update in itself makes sense especially with how people are responding to her and her one brief nice moment oh but well i'm glad that she has her bolognese her bolognese that's all you need to solve anything it's a ragu i need some i'm not hey your mouth amanda get your shit together you know what i'm done can we get shane out of here this is girl not dickhead dinner do we have to bleep all that for dinner i'm having dickhead that's what the first guy wanted what is the what is the difference between ragu and bolognese yeah a ragu is it's cooked for a lot longer it's uh i it's in a wine sauce right and bolognese is more of a meat sauce tomato get this guy a cookie am i right a beautifully designed squarespace website is the difference between thinking about photography school and selling your portraits online it's the difference between giving away those cookies you just made for free and running your cookie empire a beautifully designed squarespace website is the difference between having a movie reviewing hobby and a movie reviewing career squarespace because no matter what you're into a website makes it real use offer code difference for 50 off select plans terms and conditions apply now that fall is in full swing and october report cards are right around the corner keeping up with classroom lessons can feel like a challenge that's why i love ixl ixl is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning from math and reading to science it gives kids personalized practice aligned directly with what they're covering in class offering instant feedback and clear explanations that build lasting confidence whether your child needs a boost in a tricky subject or is ready to move ahead ixl adapts to their exact level and pace plus one subscription covers all your kids from pre-k through 12th grade and an entire month of ixl costs less than just one hour of tutoring make an impact on your child's learning get ixl now and listeners can get an exclusive 20 off ixl membership when they sign up today at ixllearning.com audio visit ixllearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price i can't they are very different i don't know what i'm not italian it's kind of like a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn't a square because a ragu is a generic term for meat-based sauces but bolognese is a specific type of ragu ah so bolognese is part of the family of ragu apparently i was wrong that i knew i knew that like we knew you were wrong sheen by the way ragu is the daddy bolognese the base feels like it goes back to the conversation we've had before we've had before we've had the conversation we've had before we've had where i've said that all pasta is the same no get out of here you need to wash off sorry sorry different shapes you need to get in a cold shower all right cool get in a cold shower and wash it all off i don't care i'll eat it all it's delicious i'm just saying it's all the same done with you next girl dinner looking for innovative and slightly quirky nicknames to call boyfriend what do you girls call yours check out check out like that what do you girls call yours yeah what happened there next up we're talking to the next big sensation in this country we are looking at boiled potatoes for crust tossed in air fryer for 20 minutes pizza to me potato pizza to me it looks like like like it looks like it looks like kind of like a drunk meal you know it also looks like but it actually isn't she tried to make it look yeah look at the plating she's got the sauce run it's like a sauce run like a top chef sauce run that's a good this is okay it just looks like a lot of um i think it must be it is like a spices yeah on a crust on a potato crust with cheese on it anyways good for her that's incredible okay i'm actually curious about the nicknames that people are providing i don't really have a nickname for you a pet name for you you go shane i literally do hey stupid shane hey shane come to bed now stupid i'm like okay no she would never say that she'd go shane come to bed you should do that she didn't like that she didn't do that i go do you want to know what i do yeah sometimes when he's staying up a little late i'll come down and go you like that you're like an old southern woman from the top of the stairs telling you to get to bed hey girls i'm looking to expand my vocabulary of nicknames and wanted to fish for some inspiration here calling them different names depending on the mood sometimes sweet sometimes catchy and sometimes a little quirky like four asterix baby classic but a bit generic my handyman when he fixes things my big man my blank inside jokes i'm looking for innovative catchy ideas that drive guys absolutely crazy or just make them melt i really want to avoid the cringe route so things like daddy are a hard no for me what are your absolute favorite unique nicknames for your guys give me your best most innovative by the way this is my low effort boiled potatoes for crust tossed in air fryer for 20 minutes pizza i mean it looks pretty sick also handyman is never gonna make your man melt i'm sorry my handyman get in here and fix sounds like you're ripping that thing my man people do a lot of my man my man my man's my man's i guess i call my husband baby okay yeah h i do baby big daddy i'll never do an unironic listen listen sometimes when we're like cole is there i'll be like daddy's going outside daddy did that so sometimes i will call him daddy yeah yeah he does you're doing it in the little i'm doing in that but if i called him like daddy in the bedroom he would not go for it yeah but if i called him my man or handyman he would not go for it yeah i think baby baby is baby is good yeah yeah he lets you call him baby when you call him baby when you call him baby when you guys have a real life baby right there yeah i'm like baby he's like that's our son no that's baby that's him big man yeah i don't know we've never been big nickname people no no yeah like what's wrong with us i don't i don't do honey or sweetie or there's nothing wrong with that if you want to do that get it but like i i just don't do it i i don't know of any unique ones my pony my pony my little pony my steed my pony my my pride sir there's what rory said on smosh mouth uh my lover my lover oh i do love lover i feel like you that oh lover like i would i would say lover definitely yeah but i don't i'm not like hey lover no ever really lover could you grab me the grilled cheese lover could you could you pick me up off the couch yeah i don't know i guess lover mate mate honey baby cakes sweetie muffin top hey turn to that thing get it oh hell yeah my steed my seed my steed oh my god oh jesus my sperm count get over here finish the job get it done sperm count come on over here buddy oh my god comments say his name is mitchell and when he's being annoying i call him bitchel hope this helps someone said most of my names for my husband are food related potato muffin pumpkin i also often call my cat the same names and it can get confusing oh no um muffin get in here the cat's like someone said we call each other all variations of sugar just sugar sugar snap pea sugar plum sugar bean i love bear etc sugar bear someone said pookie someone said pants someone said mine is jim and when he's grumpy he's grim jim grim jim when he's snappin to a grim jim someone said beautiful boy lover my sweet monster that's kind of sweet my sweet monster's too long it's very long it's like my sweet monster what are you doing on the toilet for so long get off yeah monster i want something that like i'm not even thinking about it just comes out my baby is quick someone said punk ass random dumb variations on his name handsome etc handsome handsome's good that's cute someone said reading these makes me think i need to step up the nicknames i literally call him boyfriend he calls me girlfriend i don't know it's been like 14 years and it kind of stuck it's kind of cute that's cute yeah i don't know i don't know i don't know don't really judge people for what they call each other no neither do i i don't i will say i don't call my husband like husband wife i don't do any of that i've called you shania like since we've met yeah twain i've had a lot of i like a lot of singers names okay i know what courtney's like in the home now get to bed shane are you you are the only one who calls me shania shania no some people i've heard other people shania is very cute back before you know people would call me shania yeah and uh that was that was damien's name for me shania um shaney shaney real slim shaney oh oh so long i love it all right sorry shania is very cute shania is good but tonight you should try wife on her and film it send it to me i thank y'all wife wife oh wife yeah i'll see how that goes what can i call you though you just said a bunch you just said a bunch you can do pookie or pants those were pants is crazy pants pants is fun what up pants what up pants i like the lady who has the same nicknames for her husband and her cat i know that can get confusing i i realize i i don't i definitely call our cats normal stuff but i definitely call bones stupid a little bit more than i call birdie that i never call birdie stupid but bones i'll be like what's up stupid i have a million see that's the thing is i have a million things i have a million nicknames for bones yeah we call birdie birdie i call her birdie or burpee lady like lady i think it's easier to do that with like animals it's so animals i also do with my son too i'll be like i'll call him coley bear you'll call him michael michael get your ass in here what if cole was short for michael that's crazy michael cole michael michael wow oh it's not it's just cole next story next girl dinner they made a separate group chat without me devastating i think that that might be the word that's devastating and that's my kind of dinner oh this is i literally guys yeah courtney had this last night yes yes taquitos and it's the chicken ones it's the good ones it's the corn tortilla chicken those from trader joe's are bomb diggity these are the better ones than trader joe's okay heard okay ma'am courtney's a taquito aficionado oh my god connoisseur okay sure here we go sorry i'm sorry i got mad don't ever ever apologize for being upset about food okay this happened a few weeks ago and i've been ruminating long story short my friend let it slip that there's a separate group chat and had an oh shit look on her face when i clarified it i wasn't supposed to find out frozen walmart taquitos seasoned with tears i only see one person in my friend group on a regular basis this friend and i live in the same town i don't have a car and most of our friends live in the next town over so they all see each other often but i usually can't come because i don't have a car to drive myself there i don't mind at all people are allowed to hang out even if not everyone can make it one time she was telling me about a funny meme someone sent in the group chat i hadn't checked my phone that day so i said i'd look at it later i couldn't find one that was exactly the same but one was similar so i thought she misremembered the details of the joke i didn't think anything of it oh no then another time she mentioned something about dinner plans everyone made i said i don't remember seeing any messages about it and she said oh weird maybe we talked about it in person when you weren't there and we forgot to send the details in the group chat but she sounded like she kind of made a lie up on the spot she did end up telling me the plans i was included and i got no obvious weird vibes from anyone during dinner the time i finally figured it out was a birthday party i had already bought a gift for the birthday girl and figured i'd give it to her the next time i was in her town i texted her happy birthday and didn't get a response i assumed she was spending time with her boyfriend and family so i didn't mind that she didn't answer but later that night i saw instagram stories and posts it looked like a really fun party tons of food balloons yard games a cake with a funny inside joke with our friend group everyone was there in the pictures even boyfriends and friends of friends i was the only one not included i brought this up to my friend the next time i saw her and she said i was wondering why you didn't come it sounded like she was genuinely confused i said that i didn't even know about it and nobody said anything she said yes we did we've been planning it for a whole month in the group chat and pulled it up to show me homegirl realized her mistake she got the group chats mixed up they were similar titles and emojis example bad bitch club versus bad bitches i said so there's a separate group chat and she kind of stammered and said it's because sometimes i can't hang out because i can't drive there myself to meet them so they made a separate one so i don't feel bad and like i'm missing out even though she could drive me we live five minutes away from each other it's pretty much crickets in the group chat i'm in unless i say something first even then i might only get one or two responses or a heart reaction to my message they've been strategically planning what i'm included in and what i'm not like they're slowly phasing me out until i just quit trying what the hell that's heartbreaking i have a big question is she in the bad bitches club or bad bitches we don't know we don't know i think she's i think she's in bad bitches she's in bad bitches but she's not in the club that sucks that's so sad this is really this is really really this would be heartbreaking i don't think they're phasing her out but i'm sure it feels that way like that's so sad to to not even have a conversation about like hey like we feel bad that you can't come do you feel weird being in a group chat where things are happening you can't always go to like right or are they being honest with her if like that's the reason why she's not in it i think the the her not being included because she doesn't have a car but her friend who lives five minutes away never offers to drive her this just sounds and she wasn't at the birthday party that's a big that's like they don't gather there and not invite her not even think of her yeah i don't want her i don't know this sounds like maybe not that they're phasing her out but like that's devastating that the other chat is like radio silence unless she says something so like they're not even making an effort her way i wonder what she's saying what she used to say in to make them think that they had to was she like oh i can't make it all bummer i can't do it that is so sad i have so much love for friends who no matter how many times you can't make a thing they will always keep extending an invite like that will always be me yeah especially well especially for her circumstances like where it's not like oh i'm not able to make it she's like i can't drive so it's like they're not trying to make it work like the friend who's i don't know this is this is i think that she should text it in the group chat yeah i think she should and you know she clearly may be able to do it but i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know maybe it's it's i think it's i think she's a solid lock solid person because she's got great taquito taste yeah yeah she does she's lock solid it's lock solid that's what i've said it's what i've said though we're like things with friends like friend friend breakups friend uh deceiving is almost more heartbreaking than romantic because it's like she goes hey what's going on it's like personality and if they're like they're as a group to have decided they are phasing her out it's like i'm interested like what is actually happening here because i understand taking someone off a group chat if they are constantly like oh shit i can't go this sucks and they're like i don't want to keep hurting her feelings we live in a different area yeah or is it the other route of like they are actually phasing her out and that's such a fucking shitty way to do it it really is then what are they supposed to say either hey we're phasing you out hey you're out of the bad like yeah like i on it this is tricky um comments yep so what you do with that information is up to you now but it should be to distance yourself from them someone said this happened to me too it hurt for a really long time i removed myself from their lives entirely hurts but i swear it hurts more to stick around and take that shit yeah it happens it's it's so hurtful but it's it's almost similar it what can be comparable to like being in a relationship where someone cheated on you is it's just like do you want to be friends with people who don't want to be your friend like yeah it sucks it sucks it's so hard to find a group of friends uh when you're an adult but man do you want to stick around these people who clearly don't want to be with or don't respect you enough to have a conversation yeah it's like are you you're living a lie with these yeah yeah someone said fuck them and when i say fuck them i mean literally do not give a fuck cut them off like leave that shitty little group and go out and do things that you enjoy live your life yes find your friends they'll like you for you all this mean girl high school bs like we don't encourage violence but someone needs to slap some sense into them vapid hoes you don't you don't need that energy her group chat is called vapid hoes yeah come join us someone said my family did that with me i finally had them put me in the group chat and they created a new one without me sucks op responded your family yeah um that's rough someone said i've had this happen before and i used to have those plates edit editing to add one person is the ringleader and they are jealous of you probably yeah maybe they should absolutely it kind of starts started the new one without her that's atrocious to start a whole group chat to exclude one person and she's probably like oh you know blah blah blah can't make it to all these things so i just want to start this so she doesn't feel bad and everyone's like great yeah they're all just talking there but then they still talk in the other one it's weird well only when she initiates that and that stuff can always be like just like one person doing also it sounds like the girl who kind of spilled the beans is closer friends with her so like what's the deal there why didn't she say it i'd be so betrayed though because i'm like cool there could be one person who's a ringleader but they're all going along with it right and this person only confessed once they were caught in the lot like they're all lying to her girl get out find friends that care about you it's like these people ultimately do not respect you right it's heartbreaking I wouldn't like feel like I could be safe and 100% myself around friends like that yeah nope update we have more taquitos taquitos just rained down let's go is it more or less or the exact same amount as last time four four taquitos four is a perfect amount she doesn't put any dressing on them she doesn't because you put like cheese and sauce sometimes whoa hey Shania slow down sorry about that also I eat 8 to 12 damn mommy damn I love it not fucking around of course all right update they made a separate group chat without me the sequel the sequel frozen taquitos again in a bowl this time I got an overwhelming amount of support in my last post plus a sobering reality check it was a slap in the face that I didn't know I needed I decided to leave the group chat without a word and my phone was immediately flooding with messages two different people saying some variation of girl what happened upset faces and one person asked did you have a falling out with group leader's name the texts were so performative and obviously playing dumb they knew exactly what was going on I wasn't answering anyone because between the texts and trying to respond to everyone on my last post I was overwhelmed then I got a text from the one woman who I would consider my real friend it was a screenshot of the other group chat that I was not included in the group leader was saying thank god she's gone I thought she was never going to leave compared me to a parasite even though I never asked her for anything in another screenshot she said that she knew I was a fake bitch when I stole a client from her in November for context we work in a nightlife entertainment industry that's heavily based on sales I'm sure you can figure out what our job is she and I had a client one night who dropped a lot of money on both of us and we both got his number and started a group chat we tried really hard to get him to come back in but he never texted back she even asked me one day if he'd been answering me he hadn't he was young probably really young probably regretted the amount of money he spent and it was a one time thing this whole time she thought I pulled him away from her and was getting all this money without her bro that night we made all that money was the last night I ever worked in that place it was my last huzzah and I've been working from home ever since so now it makes perfect sense everyone was right about there being a ringleader who started this based on a lie and everyone else just kind of went along with it good riddance that is so sad it is like the worst of what we thought like damn she really like organized that and then she said it in the group chat ugh yeah it's like cool like her one friend sending her screenshots and stuff but it's like it's like okay so this person was talking mad shit about me and you all just were why are you sending her screenshots though I don't find that it's like what does that it's like you're kind of proving like oh so you were hearing this for months and you're fine with it I didn't say anything that shit grinds my gears but actually like in a sad way it really grinds my gears in a really sad way it's really that's it's really sad I don't think this real friend is a real friend if you're ever in a situation where someone is speaking ill of another one of your friends be the good friend and check on that friend maybe even ask their side yeah because it is so devastating to me when that happens where like I've been in these situations where someone will just not check on me or see what how I feel or what I'm experiencing whether or not they believe what was going on it's still like oh like it's devastating and it's like oh did you just like want to believe that about me even though it's not true yeah or like it's an assumption they just all went with it yeah like that's so sad that is so sad all about money too yeah and it's like about a thing that again wasn't even true and that this this ringleader thought happened didn't happen she didn't even have the opportunity to stand up for herself or say anything yeah she was completely just left in the dark this whole time this whole time yeah our next girl dinner I said something unhinged get it girl check this out just freaking sauce everywhere okay poke bowl with some fish cucumbers avocado mayo the fixings beautiful plating look at this I think they did this themselves the cucumbers are sliced so thin the sesame seeds on it or whatever that is spicy mayo and the mayo drizzled oh my god honey to make a homemade poke bowl at home a kitty cat looking longingly in the background mom are you okay are you gonna cry can I have the salmon please wow mom don't cry tonight and it's such a cute little bowl too hell yeah that's a good girl dinner okay they write I don't date much and I get pretty awkward when things turn overtly flirty or sexual last night I was with a guy I'm seeing he's genuinely really cute and I like him we were getting frisky stripping off clothes when I saw his pee pee for the first time it was so incredibly huge stop I was shut up please stop I was shocked excited scared all at the same time please stop I completely froze and the only thing my brain managed to produce was what war was this cannon in oh my another word for penis cannon gone cannon I said it out loud in real life to his face he said it was the best thing he's ever heard poke bowl and cat cannoli did not eat cat did not eat cat wait I love this person so much what war was this cannon in what war was this cannon in the guy was probably like hell yeah oh fuck yeah gets larger somehow the war is tonight honey the battle is on battle of the bulge come here soldier she's like alright alright slow down he's like can the troops slow down drumming in uh oh wow damn that's incredible it's good shit glad it went well I should say that to H tonight say it I dare you I film it and send me we'll exchange videos tonight I got you and I just go sorry one second I'm sending this to Shane Shane and I have a group chat Shane and I have a group chat that you're not on you're not on I film it and the light goes on it's a group chat called wives and cannons and uh it's basically just all that and it's your penis and Courtney and and your penis and Courtney it's your penis and Courtney separate videos yeah yeah yeah don't worry about it don't worry about it uh comments on this someone said well regardless of how it pans out that man will never ever forget you aww two thousand upvotes someone said when's the wedding someone said LMFAO uh that was a good one and hey he really liked it someone uh replied she really liked it someone said that happened to me once this guy took off his clothes and I said get away from me with that thing jokingly of course it was huge anyway last October we celebrated 30 years okay that's a little different the way she said it is a little different get me away from this boulder get away from me with that thing it's scary just aww yeah go away you're scaring me 30 years later celebrating 30 years someone said some girls have all the luck little tears some girls have all the luck you can find what did she say when she saw her last peepee peepee I hate the word peepee do not like it I saw his peepee yeah I saw his peepee yes I'm glad she didn't say that I like that she said peepee and then the fact that I ended up being huge so I saw his peepee it was massive it was massive I don't like it the peepee thing not my favorite okay but it's okay hey it's okay it's okay it's alright if you say that that's fine I don't say it I say I fully say penis or hog penis hog peace peace huh I say it really quick I say it referring to any penis how many penises I've seen in a day so you you um I'm sorry you try to make it less yeah yeah yeah exactly alright you know any penis you happen to pass by on the street nice piece nice piece nice piece nice piece a good piece my man excellent hog yes sir our next girl dinner my dad who's 50 no is dating a 23 year old no is that I didn't read the description is that eel anyways eel enoki mushrooms and rice okay that is a classy girl do you like eel I love eel eel tastes I like seeing them in the water there's a game in this to eel that I cannot get with that's fair eel is not my favorite but seeing an eel oh like eel sauce well like a yeah let me tell you they really look like the ones in Little Mermaid when you see those big green ones they're scary yeah and did you know they just appear yeah people people don't know what they are they just arrive yeah they do here we go they are engaged oh wait her dad is engaged to a yeah oh they had a correction underneath their title of asterix engaged oh my dad got engaged to a 23 year old I'm 25 for reference no no no younger than her and didn't tell me about it I found out because I accidentally saw a photo of their engagement he left my mom after being married for 26 years he refuses to talk about it and admits that it's weird she's a clear sugar baby he uses his money to control my siblings and mom so no one can do or say anything what I am like I'm luckily financially independent me and him are so close it's not like we don't talk okay but anyways eel enoki mushrooms and rice he did this all last year while my mom was in a mental hospital and made her sign divorce papers over text with no lawyer present while she was in a mental hospital in a psychosis state she had no idea what she was signing and he threatened to cut off her medical care if she didn't sign oh but you still keep talking to your father oh okay don't talk to this man oh my goodness that sounds like a nightmare what yeah he sounds truly like the uh a demon and you're close with him yeah it's like you're gonna you're gonna say all that and be like yeah and i like this guy honey no wonder why you're eating eel your dad is one of those he just arrives oh he just arrives i don't know how people handle their parents dating people even younger remotely close to their age let alone younger that is so embarrassing i signed up for my dad for match.com years and years ago like i said it was very it was a it was a journey hard to find a good picture man every picture of him was just him like this with a plate of food and i'm like dad girl dinner so i had one with a guitar and one with us and then i had to do a plate of food because that was just what it was but he kept saying he he's like all these younger women wanted to date him and talk to him and he he's he's he's now married to someone that he met on match.com his age he was not into it but he was like yeah you know and sometimes i would you know talk to these women and they were just they were very sad very sad and they were lonely and they just you know they wanted to talk about life so sometimes i would i would message them but i never wanted to see them on a date why would they want to date someone like me whoa i don't know dad you love ikea i don't know you're you finished netflix on saturdays have you gone in there it's hard to get out yeah the meatballs are very good very good meatballs interesting parking lot is this you being your dad yes people think of people think of italy with meatballs but turns out sweden they've really got the swedish meatballs oh my god weird swedish shows on netflix so weird those swedish yeah anyways have you seen disclosure day seriously it's really gonna happen but like he found that a lot of younger women wanted to message him and i remember him saying that because we're pretty close and he was just like yeah it was that's so interesting yeah i think that there's a lot of young folk like that and i think that's a lot of young folk looking for security no i'm not judging the 23 year old i'm judging the 50 year old for i'm judging them all yeah we're getting in for getting engaged to the 23 year old kind of awkward when i'm just daughter is 25 because it's like it feels disrespectful to your kids i just like it really just changes the lens on you you know what i feel most upset about is the whole thing that happened with the mom oh yeah that and it's like oh oh that's a whole other nightmare novel also yeah how could you treat the you know the mother of your children like that my dad has the morals of dr frankenstein i can't help it i am terrified by that like i would i would simply run comments i'm just gonna be real weirdo relationship aside if someone did that to my mom i would not be talking to them again yeah someone said probably some legality issues with what he did to your mom especially if she was in a psychosis state someone said so divorce papers have to be notarized i don't understand how this can happen if she is committed yeah he said he faked her signature on the notary i think his assistant got one of her friends who's a notary to forge it because he did it in staten island and it was dated on the same day i was with him in boston so impossible he was there that day oh my god i'm nauseous uh so fully a crime someone said my father did a very similar thing he was 50 and she was 21 i was 23 they now have three children between them and have divorced obviously that's where this was headed from the beginning but now there are kids who are not divorced and they're not divorced and they're not going to have my own sad dinner tonight last someone said a poop emoji and you yeah sometimes it's all you gotta say is poop and ew i just this seems very a very complicated story like i don't know everything that's happening but regardless the thing with the mom is unacceptable oh yeah absolutely and it's just you know you grow up and you you learn things about your parents and like you kind of accept things not really realizing the gravity of them because you're like they're like you look up to them you've learned everything from them but then like at a certain point in your life you really it kind of like things hit you later in life that's all yeah yeah they do but this is that's heavy well this is really hard for her because it's like what relationship does she have with her mom right now exactly and what relationship is she gonna have with her dad yeah oh oh well her dinner's beautiful oh the dinner's great beautiful dinner our final dinner girls i come to you from your future all right uh i want to check out this this is a nice little this is more of a girl dessert it's an iced coffee with i want to say that's like a coconut custard cake with coconut flakes on top of it it's literally written right limoncello cake i'd pretend i do not see it it's limoncello cake vanilla cold brew okay someone likes it sweet wrong yeah that sounds delicious limoncello cake vanilla cold brew i'll be 40 tomorrow my kid just brought me an early treat we're out of town doing our music thing let me tell you about my life i am the bell of the ball professionally i have more offers than i can accept same goes for the gentleman on the two block walk from the room to the cafe three different guys of various age stopped to respectfully hit on me my kid graduating high school at 16 creative deeply decent and hilarious my extended family and friends our relationships are not going to be as good as they used to be i'm not going to get into the particulars but 2020 was not good for me i am a modest homeowner bought myself the gently used car i always wanted i have what i call a normal amount of rescues which when delivered deadpan in response to oh you have a cat how many do you have is hilarious i am telling you all of this because there was a time i was making reddit posts about the absolute worst treatment from the worst people hoping to make sense of what was going on and i was like i'm not going to do that what is nonsensical if you are reading this and you are excusing justifying contorting your very self in order to stay in a relationship with someone based on these posts some dude i am here to tell you stop it feels bad because it is bad it feels wrong because it is you feel belittled or used or ignored or unloved because you are from that person you are not unlovable they are unable to love you do deserve and can have and will have better but first you have to stop hanging out with them you have to stop they will let you spend your whole entire life engaged in loss loss after loss after loss they will not wake up they will not suddenly understand the error of their ways they will not validate or love you and sometimes it's not just you they won't love but the children you share i know that's hard to accept but acceptance can be liberating there is no day it will all have been worth it and you will be repaid for your suffering that day is never coming it stops when you stop it what feels important to me is that you have to stop it and you have to stop it and possible to you now, peace, happiness, safety, success, is actually just on the other side of this person's bullshit. I see it again and again on here, and y'all have to know there's a better way. You're stronger than you think, and all those lies you've heard so much you started to believe them are just that, lies. I have been where you are. It can be so much different. I just realized today, wow, there was a time I couldn't even imagine how happy I'd be today. I wish the same for you all. Damn. Hitting everybody with a sledgehammer. A big sledgehammer of her own positive reflection. That's really cool that she had a moment where she's like, holy shit, I am so glad to be where I'm at and to have made the decisions I did. Sounds like decisions that can feel really scary, leaving something. Because so many people, like we heard, people stay in relationships out of fear. Fear of being alone. Or anything, but like, because the idea of being alone, it's like, well, that's the unhappy option, right, is to be alone. But she's not alone. She's also so right. It's just kind of like, if you feel like you are getting, you know, being taken advantage of or anything, you are. You are. It's like, I don't know why we do it. I do it too, but we tell ourselves, this isn't happening. This isn't happening. I think because it's like, it's really challenging to work through it when it is happening. You have to, like, restart everything. And it's really hard. And you have to kind of accept the reality. And I love that she's just like, if this is how you feel, that's what's happening. And it sounds like she's been through a lot. And also, cake. Yeah. Hell yeah. Solves it all. Sounds like she's got some cake too, where people will be hitting on her walking. Hey! Oh my God, yeah. I think it's also really something to say about, like, how long life is, right? I think, like, a lot of people, they're in these situations where they're like, oh, I'm not going to do this. I'm especially when we read stories where people are, like, 25 or something. And they're like, yeah, I cheated on me, but, like, we're trying to make it work. And I'm just like, you could put a lot more years to this. And man, it's a long time. Like, I know it sucks to break up and to take on the challenge of being single again. But it's like, it's a long time, man. You have a lot of life. Like, it keeps going. And like, life is long. It really is long. You can say life is short, but life is actually long. Life is so long. If you look at it as, like, seasons, you're in different seasons of your life. And the past is not. supposed to be, you know, your passport. It's not supposed to be something that you take with you everywhere. Like it's a season that you can close the chapter on. And in order to do that, you kind of have to like grieve it and work through it and moving forward in each season. And I think it's amazing when someone just consistently reflects on the seasons of their life. Totally. Because those are the people that I want to be listening to. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like those are the people that I want to hear is people like, shit, this happened. My gut told me it. I will listen now. Yeah. You know? I'm very glad. Like I know it's tough. I am so glad that people nowadays I do think are being better about like choosing to be single over being in a bad relationship, right? Yeah. I hope so. Yeah. But I feel so bad for people who are in horrible things where they're being so mistreated and they're so scared of being single. And I guess to me, almost speaking. Oh, you don't want to be alone with yourself. That's how you feel about yourself almost in some ways. But I also know it's like treated like being single is like failure or whatever, but it's sometimes when you're in a bad relationship, it's hard to get out because that's them. They are bad. The relationship is just because they're like, I'm the only one. Yeah. Maybe they've manipulated you enough that you don't talk to your family or your friends or you have any outside people being like, Hey, they've driven. This isn't good. It's very, I think. I think it's very brave to go that this isn't working for me. This hurts me. I'm leaving. Right. And I think it is really scary for people to be alone. And for sure. But like, yeah, listening to this person, it sounds like they've been through the works and they're like, I'm so much happier now because I'm listening to my gut. Right. And valuing herself. Absolutely. As herself. Yeah. And limoncello cake. And limoncello cake. Have I ever had it? No. Sounds amazing. Sound awesome. Vanilla cold brew. We have one comment. They just write, thank you. And apparently that was most of the comments. Now I'm like, I need to get it on this subreddit. I kind of do too. It's a good one. Take pictures of my girl dinner. I don't even know what it is anymore. Like, what do I even eat anymore? Whatever my son doesn't eat, I guess. I'm eating some weird stuff lately. Let me just be real. What are you feeding your kid? Good, good stuff. I've seen what you got. No, we came over one time. And, like, he's eating better than. He's eating better than me. Better than me. Completely better than me. I was like, holy shit. He's eating, like, lamb chops. I'm like, what the hell? Yeah. It's incredible. It's amazing. Gnawing on bones. That's great. Okay, so that sounds like a dog. Yeah, he's a little, my little doggy. Well, thank you both for joining me for girl dinners. I want to do it again. I know. I want to do it all over again. All right. I have felt. Thanks for having us. Yes, say that again. Thanks for having us, Shania. And thank you for joining me. And thank you all for watching, listening, and we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye. I felt so far away from you this whole time on this couch. Oh, sorry, because I was just leaning and it felt really good. Don't cut it. Don't cut it. Don't cut it yet. No. Cut it. Keep it going for another hour. Thanks again to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode of Reddit Stories. Hi, this is PJ Vogt from the search engine, podcast. So you're a great small business owner, but math was never your thing. Totally get it. Enter Xero. That's X-E-R-O as in X marks the spot for the perfect platform that puts accounting, payments, payroll, and analytics in one connected platform. With visual dashboards, Xero makes it easy to understand your cash flow. You know exactly what's coming in and what's going out. Join 5 million customers worldwide who use Xero to manage their finances. Learn more at Xero.com. That's X-E-R-O.