Giggling about wrinkles, wikifeet, and moose knuckles

What's up my holding a grudge gig glues my grudgey gig glues you know and I just saw the one we've never said grasshopper that's really good and it's like sweet you don't have to like I'll do the one I did and it took me forever to come up with a grudge on every twice a week I know I am running out there's not so many do we've done you've done the same one alone you let me repeat and you you're like oh that's a good one um so women of some of the week has gotten out of control yeah everyone we're now nominated they're not themselves so we can't actually put you as women of some but shout out to for so I didn't watch the Kentucky Derby neither did any it's not a thing I people I guess why they do and the first woman trainer one yes I saw that when I first heard that I thought they might like the woman riding the the jockey the jockey and then I started to think why the fuck is every jockey five to 110 pounds and they're all men yeah they should just be a bunch of Sabrina carpenters right and the girls would crush it as jockeys but there's not one jockey that's a one I believe the girls were like no I also feel like the girls don't want to like force horses to do things I don't want to do like the men are they like to control where girls are like if the horse wants to eat a dandelion let him eat a dandelion you know that they walk the horses out with their horse best friend so that they're not stressed walking to like the stable that they take off for that's me and you and Jimmy found no literally I was like I have horse best friend wait I literally go places with my horse best friend wait speak of Jimmy found I saw him this weekend wait tell me everything I went to the like F1 like pre-race at like the preliminary I have no idea what it was all I know is I wore a linen set which a linen set is always a risk yeah because like you sit you literally get in the uber to go there and then you get out and you're like I'm a wrinkled mask one thing people hate is wrinkles one thing that'll get them worked up online is a wrinkled people have said some of the meanest things to me ever because my pants were wrinkled I was always everyone out here just like ironing every second of the day the internet made me buy a steamer because I can't be steaming all day long same with like things getting tailored they're like it doesn't it doesn't fit I'm like is everyone running to the tailor the minute they buy something from Zara like give me a fucking break so you're in your gorgeous white linen set anyway my gorgeous late white linen set I'm two cocktails deep I see Jimmy found from across the way and I'm like my first instinct is always like don't say anything yeah you don't you won't remember who I am so like I'm not gonna even put you in that awkward position because that would I don't know if you could like survive that kind of interaction I'd melt because I wouldn't I but I always start being like I don't know if someone will cut me off if they're like don't be stupid we'd like just talk yeah so whatever I see him and I go up to him and he's like oh my god like what are you doing here and I don't know why I was just like I'm all over I don't know what I'm doing here he's won't disagree like that bit around the streets and like I this like back pony and that's all I was in charge of for the day um it is funny how these random sporting events like the celebs that come out yeah it was fun but the one the my biggest takeaway from the weekend was a girl on tiktok was like it's my 28th birthday that girl Maddie you know that blonde girl we know that Maddie oh yes she was like oh it's my 28th birthday and whatever which is crazy because in my head she's my age but I mean like we're the same age right like she's not my age I'm her age exactly yeah 20 I'm she's not our age she's not our age we're her age we're all 28 I felt so compelled to comment I said 20 it was my hands down my favorite year of my 20s by far doesn't even compare to another year 28 is just such a good age because you're too far from 30 for people to be like oh my god you're almost 30 but you're also too far away from 25 so people respect you wow they're like oh she's a woman you know that I feel like you start to be a woman you get a different confidence I feel like at year 28 yeah and then it's all downhill from there but anyway I was thinking about aging and how I'm like aging sucks like you get old do you lose you lose strength you lose how you look whatever you get happier I have a video every video I've seen of women in their 40s 50s 60s just being like guys your 20s is the worst mental health of your life I mean the amount of women that are hotter after having children yeah like how do you do that also there's a hotness that comes with liking yourself yeah so yeah we had like a quick combo and he was great but anyway so I'm talking so whatever this girl posts this video that she's 28 and I'm like oh my god I love 28 and then I'm sitting and I'm thinking oh my gosh when I turned 29 something happened and I was like I'm allergic to alcohol like I could no longer drink from 29 30 31 32 I'm now 33 in the past like four to five months I've been experimenting like can I drink mama's back okay everyone should prepare for this summer because I had a cocktail and I was like okay I feel good but usually I can take one cocktail then I was like let me try another one so I have another cocktail and I'm like okay so are we going out tonight like I'm kind of cocktail actually it was really annoying it was we were at like a carbon sponsored something like I don't even know what it was and so I asked for a Hugo spritz and they were like we only have carbon spritzes and I'm like guys that's like when you say I don't know because you have all the ingredients back there I hate one places you're like I have a spritz and they're like we only have they're like well it is a Hugo spritz but it has like great I'm like okay I love no idea what a Hugo spritzes it's like Saint Germain that's all I know I don't need to know I'm not the one making it I don't need to know what's in it so I had three cocktails yeah and I went home and took a nap it was the best ever it's crazy I came ready to announce something as well I'm hungover who are we but this is the thing I'm actually you know when oh my god whenever I would drink you guys know I love sleep whenever I drink in my 20s I always wake up at 7 a.m it's like a weird thing I know people like you because normally I sleep till 10 thirty 7 a.m. I'm up and I get my body refuses and then I feel like kind of a little anxiety my body is just like we something weird happened last night and we're a little scared yeah and then I wake up and then I like right now I'm okay but it's gonna hit me in like four hours I'm gonna be like I've been hit by a car um well I was supposed to go out Saturday night but I got home and I I looked at Joe and I was like I'm not doing it to a day order a pizza like I'm not redoing my glam that's insane oh my god well the mental fortitude you have to have to like go out perform be hilarious and likeable yeah and no I wake everyone's day chatting come back home and then do it again not in one day no no I feel like I've talked to so many girls that are like oh I don't drink either and not because like of like a substance issue but it's like oh my stomach hurts or like I vomit or whatever and I genuinely think it was my anxiety taking over so much and I truly feel like my bodies like I needed this past year to get my like body re-regulated from the past like three years and I think that's why I can drink again because I'm like so much calmer and like I love how you're like guys if you get mentally healthy you can binge alcohol you can come and alcohol again well I you haven't even said anything about your bang your bangs oh yeah you have bangs your hairs is that real I've had bangs I know but this is like fresh bang oh yeah I did maybe trim them like two weeks ago yeah actually they could even be trimmed your hairs insanely long well I can do this better this was my first time trying my I have a new product new product to learn just like a random hot tools but everyone has a crimper now the thing to do now is crimp wait what I thought we just got the the other hot yeah well you have to have different versions but also the crimp not the like it has to be like a big crimp not like a little okay because I've done the other crimp you look like you're in 80s and I didn't do the appropriate steps prior but once I get the hang of it it's over for you bitches why do I feel like everyone's trying so hard to look like they just woke up out of bed woke up out of bed with their eyes not like but I that's this is just how I woke up actually actually this is my hair I got rained on at the bar last night who what is this podcast no rain on at the bar on a Sunday night when everyone out on a Sunday night my mom would be like really page but you know what I like the gigglers is cuz there was a moment where I was gonna care and I go, "Think I could just need this for me. They need the story." - Okay, well, before you tell the story, let me, let's actually preface the story. So Friday night, everyone has the most ambitions ever. We get a text message from Stasi Schroder, group chat, "Hey, when can we hang out this weekend?" We figure out that Sunday night is our night. That's when all three of us are free. Sunday morning comes, I wake up and I'm like, you thought, like, "I can't, guys, I can't, "I can't go out tonight to a dinner or something." So I'm on FaceTime with Hannah and I'm like, I'm gonna text in the group chat and say that I can't go. And in my head, I'm like, if I can't go, my friends aren't going. She's also busy. I literally said in the group chat, don't hang out without me. I'm too tired, I can't come. Crickets. Crickets. I, and then I'm laying in bed, a couple hours later, I go to FaceTime, Hannah, no answer. - Which never happens. - I go, "If this bitch went out "and didn't even say, oh, by the way, "me and Stasi are actually. " I'm like, so you went out of the group chat. You texted on your guys, oh, and was like, she's a loser, she's not coming. What's our plan? Because maybe I would have rallied throwing my hair up in a top knot of some sort. - How dare you right now turn this on me? Because you got out of it and I was protecting you, not forcing you to come out with us. And that's a different perspective. - I've been thinking on, there's two sides to every story. - I didn't look at it from the lens. - Thank you so much. - And you're like, you love me. I'm like, you literally got out of it before me. - I mean, and we all know you could have texted like, I'm still going and I could have been like, have fun going. - You're like, I'm like, so there was raining. - Yeah. - I knew it was crazy. You wanna know what? That was my first thought waking up in the morning. I was like, it's gonna rain all day. - Why the hell is that? - I didn't go out Saturday 'cause I was fully prepared for this, this was my social event of the weekend. And also, I've been touring my whole life. So I'm like, I have a rock star and I have an open weekend and I felt and Des was gone. And Butter and I can only talk so long, right? So I was like, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna go out. And I don't know what people order at the bar nowadays. I got nervous. I almost ordered apple juice. - What did you order? - I said, I got my classic vodka soda with a little pineapple on top. And I think everyone's gonna laugh at me and everyone goes genius. So I'm feeling myself, I'm like, I'm back, she's back. But I'm such a slow drinker that my ice melts all the time. - Well, 'cause you're talking so much. - Worsey, I'm a fast drinker because I'm like, I don't wanna participate. - I'm talking, talking, talking, talking. Everyone else is getting other drinks. I'm behind, they think I'm not fun. I'm like, I'm coordinating a conversation. I'm the host, I'm the MC of the event. I'm asking people questions. I'm tagging along. I'm getting people involved who weren't involved. - We literally have never been in a group setting. - The host of a reunion. - I'm Andy Cohen. (laughing) - You do get this weird, like almost like, okay, I gotta work. - I'm like, I'm available. - We were invited to a dinner. You don't have to make a speech. - No. - And you don't have to make a speech. - You're like, no, people are waiting for my speech. - Have I ever just like, disappear in the background of a group setting? Never in my life. - Where that is your role. - Yeah, which is I think why I feel so comfortable with you, because I'm like, I've yet to find a man. (laughing) I'm like, you go, you do it, you be in charge. Well, because when I hate that. - But with you, I'm like, yes, she's in charge. - I wonder what that is that I can't let a man take control 'cause I'm like, you're taking away my rights. - Yeah, but when it's your best friend, you're like, you go, you do it. - How many times have I been like, you go first? - Every time. - Well, you know, to tell me, I just know I'm like, you go first. - Well, I don't read the comments, but someone commented on something being like, I don't understand how they're actually friends. They're so different. And I'm like, okay, first of all, like, tell us all this time. What, watch any Mary Kate Nashley movie. - I'm like, we're different. But we're different in a way where like, you still see us in the same friend group. - Hannah, we're really? - Not different, I think we've made it a bit that like, we're so different. But like, if you get in there and you are poor, it's the same DNA. And someone was like, they're both Italian, that's the whole thing. And I'm like, sorry for having a brand. - So, sorry for having ancestors. When you want me to tell my great grandma, they'll fuck us. - Do you want me to say I'm something else? Sorry, I have an identity. - Speaking of being Italian, I watched Green Book over the weekend. - Oh, I watched it. - It was like an Oscar. - I haven't watched it since it came out. - Yeah. - So good. - Literally one of the best movies of our time. - Anyway, that was. (laughing) - So, I've been watching Green Book. - It was you on Netflix. I was like, yeah. I was thinking how two friends, we always, if they're the same, they'd know each other. But like, you need your friend to be different from you. And like, to the point where we're in a marriage and like, I am the boyfriend. Like, I've fully taken on all the roles of the man one. And like, it really makes our relationship work. Like, I wake up in the morning and I literally treat you like my girlfriend. I'm like, is she comfortable? Does she like the routine right now? Is she okay? And like, that's why our relationship functions well. 'Cause like, we have a, we have each other's backs. Yeah, so we have each other's backs. - You know, so many times, like, me and Hannah will call each other and like, we'll gossip. And there's, you know, this is what I can ex. (laughing) - You can compare it to. - No, no, go out to dinner with a couple. - Yes. - And maybe you and your significant other have had a little tiff a couple days prior or even like the morning prior. Or like, you're like, I want this to change or I want. That's change. And then you go out to dinner with a couple and you are like, I'm in a perfect relationship. (laughing) Are you saying that we're good friends? - Oh yeah, I go back to me. - So I feel like every time we get on the phone to gossip. - Yeah, you're like, oh, thank you. - I'm like, oh my god, Hannah, there are other best friends out there that are just like, it's not it. It's not it and one of them should get out. They should both get out. But I feel so secure after I'm around other girls. 'Cause I'm like, you guys aren't real friends. - I wouldn't know what it's like to be in a real friendship. It's a thing like when you get home from dinner and you're like, to your boyfriend or your husband or whatever, you're like, wait, we do love each other. - Also the fact that we like, never get photos taken of us unless it's like we had to be in an event that like, actually we had to get photos is good friends too. It's like it's not performative. It's like, you know this performative friends who are like, out having fun together again. Out having fun together. I'm like, well, we're also in our 30s now. Like, we wouldn't post that even. Like, you change once you're getting your 30s. You're like, I don't need to perform that I'm out having fun because I'm out having fun. We're like in your 20s, you want people to have fun, right? - Well, you're like, this is fun, right? - Is this fun? This is fun. I also think that we don't actually like people besides Gikler's. So I was telling you like, the recent social media so annoying is 'cause it's like waking up and then having to walk into a party and have people talking to you, you don't want to talk to. That's what scrolling your phone feels like. That's why I follow cat accounts and architect digest. - It's so funny because like, being in Miami, I'll, there's, same with New York City, but being in Miami, there's like, some of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen in your life and they're like, walking down the street and like, their tits are out and they're just like, they have like the cutest little dog and anytime I'm like, like on a walk with Joe and I see like a hot girl. In my head, I'm like, this girl's a Gikler, like I can just tell. And so every time a girl will walk by and then like, notice it's me, like I feel like we have like a weird eye thing and then I like kind of turn to him and I'm like, are all the Giklers just the hottest girl you've ever seen in your life? - Literally. - No, I met two the other day, I was like, guys. - Gorgeous. - Get on a runway, get out of here. What are you doing at the dog park? - And then I met some Giklers who were here for F1 and they were like, oh, we're like head of marketing for whatever and we're the bosses. And I was like, obviously, yeah. Obviously, also I just have to do a quick showing of my moose knuckle shoe. Steve Matthews, put it on the table. - It's too sticky under there. It's too, I feel like that. - Also, you're trying to lower my wiki feet rating. I don't know exactly what you're doing. Okay, for people who don't know, it pages like a 4.9 and a wiki feet. - 4.7, anything. - No, it's 4.9. - I unchecked trees. (laughing) And I'm 4.8. And you are out here like, you're actually like - And I'm showing my feet that much. - You post your full grid post. - It's my self. - Oh yeah. (laughing) And I was like, she's trying to hide it at this point but she's like, you would make actual money but only fair. - There should be no billionaires so I'm giving my wiki for free. Okay, it would actually be unfair. - But I have to say these moose knuckle shoes, first time I wore them, I didn't know that they actually go in between your toe and the other. I thought it was just aesthetic. I feel violated right now. It feels like I'm wearing a thong. - To me, it feels like toe socks. I've actually never even tried one on. - It's invasive for sure. - But then I kind of like it. I'm kind of like, is this fun? You wear a thong, but you'll literally put it in between your toes. - Because it's ugly and it's not for men. That's why I'll do it. Thongs are for men. Are thongs for men? Are thongs pick me? - No, they're not. - Then why do you wear them? - Because I think they're more comfortable and I don't want them my underwear to show in any pants so I never have to think about my underwear. to wear a showing in pants because I only have thongs. - You're slow. (laughing) - At what point did you start wearing-- - Do you have any brands made-- (laughing) - On Granny Pannies. - As they show. - For you. - As they should. - Wait, when did you first start wearing thongs? - I think high school. - Did Kim say anything? Was Kim like, did you go to Victoria's Secret? - Yeah, here's the thing. - Kim and I, like, love a song. (laughing) - We were working. Okay, like we were putting outfits together on Monday for Friday night football games. Like we had a, we were running a business. We knew which days we went to the mall. - Maybe if you knew what a business was. - Yeah, maybe if you had a business. - You'd be passionate about it. So like, Kim and I were working. We never got into like the weeds of the wise. - No, me and my mom in high school never got into the weeds of like a daughter fighting with their mom. Like, we just didn't do that because we were all business. - Yeah. - But she was like, this Capri requires this song. - Yes. Like, she told me what to do. I did it. And then, but then I gave back to her like, I need X, Y, and Z, and you say I'm not Tuesday nights. Like, we don't very working relationship in high school. - She, my mom was like, hey, are you gonna start shaving above your knee? And I was like, I didn't know that was the thing. And she's like, just, never mind. And I was like, okay. Don't ever bring that. - I would even top bottom in fifth grade. - Yeah. - No, my mom was like, I think shaving should be a thing. We should start if you want, but if you're uncomfortable with it, it's fine. - Well, if you want to really talk about like, girly every Saturday morning. - Oh, I can't wait to tell you my Saturday morning go. - Every Saturday morning, my mom would run the bath and she would mix up some type of potion that she would put all over her face. - And in our, like the house I grew up in, like, you could like step into the tub. So it was almost like there was like a bench outside the tub. And so I would lay on the bench and she would like shave and she would essentially be actually getting ready for Saturday night. But she would be doing this like all Saturday. So like, to me and my head, Saturdays were like, you were grooming. - You groomed your, and so that's why now Sundays, I'm like, I try my products and I do my hair oil. - Saturday morning. My dad wakes me up. It's go time. He's written a chart. - Never saw my dad on a Saturday. Didn't even know he was allowed to be alive on a Saturday. - My dog woke me up sweating. So in his bedroom, he had a treadmill and weights. So he would, it was actually so cute. He'd draw this chart that showed all the weights and exercises I had to do with stretching in between. And when I finished it, I had to check. So he'd be working out and I'd be working out. And we'd be doing weights at like eight. And then I'd run on the treadmill and I'd blistered, I'd blast the space jam sound track. And that was our Saturday morning. - We had another Olympian athlete. - Yes, it was crazy. And then sometimes we lived right by Prospect Park. So sometimes he'd be like, we're doing laughs in the park. And we'd run together around the park until I was like too tired. And if someone like passed us, he'd be like, we gotta get home and maybe like racing rid of people. - Our own, Kim and I is only cardio, cross-gates mall, Saturday afternoon. - And then he would take me to tennis. - Our Saturday's gonna have been more different. - Then we get home and then he'd some pasta. That was pretty similar. - Yeah, that was definitely similar. - But the Saturday morning's blasting space jam, just like imagining I was gonna win the US Open. That was what I did. - Oh, you have ambition. - Baby, you have a mission too, but it's for beauty. - That's true. - And mine was vain. - You're so fine, mine is so fine. - Good hair days do more than we give them credit for. When your hair feels healthy, you show up differently. You're more confident, more relaxed, and not constantly chucking mirrors just to adjust your hair. Your hair becomes one less thing competing for your attention throughout the day. 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That's Nutriful.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code Giggly. - Actually, I'm meant to tell the gigglers because I've never been in warm weather for as long as I have been in the past couple of months. Do you use a, it's like really not gonna be interesting at all, it's just like legit girl stuff. - Yeah, let's just do it. - Yeah, this is like serious. Do you use a leaving conditioner? - I have so many times bought it trying to be that person, but I never have convinced myself. - I can't not use a leaving conditioner. - You use it in the shower? - No, when I get out, I put it in. And then you have to wash it out. - No, you leave it in. - Really? - Leave in. - Do you spray it on? - No, I use the Crown Affair one and I really like it. I've tried a couple and this one is my favorite. - And you think it works? - I think it works, but like, okay, perfect example is like I didn't put it in last night 'cause I was gonna do a hair mask and then I fell asleep. And so I feel like my ends are a little like, and this is air-dried and then I jimmed crimp. - I have been getting some TikToks and doing like, I'll buy anything paid-as-orbo recommends and like I fear we've lost the bottom of fear. Girls are spending all their money on random shit that you're doing. - It's not random, it's fun stuff that I liked. That really worked. - Yeah, and then six months later, you're like, "Guys, I actually hate it." And it's a hairspray that I've been using on my pussy. - No, now you have me thinking, I think I'm gonna do a TikTok every week of like, products that I've used that week that I like and I don't like. - Please, actually, please, that'll be so good. But also that is our newsletter too. Like the newsletter. - Oh, Ryan, you can't see me in the newsletter. It's like something that you wouldn't know. - I think you should. Well, 'cause one thing about you is you will be trying everything. - I will be trying everything and every season, I like to change my makeup bag. Like, okay, we use that blush now for the past three months. Let's switch it up. Summer's coming. My makeup bag is different. - You're an actual influencer. - It's my hobby. - Yeah. - Some girl like Giggler Dionry, something like I forgot, I forgot what she even said, but basically calling me like ridiculous. And then she was like, but like in a nice way. And then she was like, and then I remember, that's just your hobby. Like keep going. - Letter of life. - Have joy. - Yeah, letter of life. - It sparks joy. - But we're so opposite. I don't believe in any product. I think it's all made up. I think it's all marketing. - Except the other day I texted you and I said, "I really think you should get micro-needling." - Which I'm gonna do. - And you were like, "You skin looks really good, actually." - I really enjoy it. - And you're really not even, you don't even see the benefits until you've done it like two or three times. - That's what I really get you. - That you go back up. - You don't see the benefits. - So what do you do at 800 times? The movie gets really good like 40 minutes in. - That's how I feel at laser hair removal. They're like, "Don't worry, it'll be gone in 20 years." - I actually use laser hair removal, save my life. Because I had it in grown hair problem. - Yeah, like your bikini line. - Since I was little, because I was running and sweating everywhere. I was getting these like horrible. - And I was exfoliating at eight. - See, I didn't know what exfoliating was. I also was using Nair, which I think that started to cope with, actually. - Oh my god, I furred. - Ternobiles from Nair. My mom and I had a Nair phase where we'd be like, Nair time and the room would smell like. - Ternobiles. - This is so niche and so Italian. Did you ever bleach? - No. - Never? - Like your butthole? - No, like. (laughing) - No? - Which I still don't understand what's going on. - No, but I do have a couple of friends who have-- - I just wanna bleach your butthole hair or skin. - I thought it was bleach your butthole hair. - Definitely not. (laughing) - And what is your skin? - What? Who even knows what color their butthole skin is? How do you even see that? - That's me. (laughing) - I've never once, and guys, I'm not trying to be pick me, but like, I hear men talk a lot. - Yeah. - Unfortunately, I mean circles where men are like, men talk in front of me like, I'm a boy. - Yeah. - Never once, they've been like, she's really hot, but then like, you know what I was so like, it was bleached. - Like they don't-- - I think about that sometimes when like, I don't shave. I'm like, he's not. He doesn't even know where he is. (laughing) - Blings. - Blings. - I was tired telling people to bleach your butthole. - They click a lot of people do that. In my 20s, I had like two friends that like, could did it consistently. - Oh, there's upkeep required? - I believe so, 'cause I think it fades. - What were we talking about before that we got to this? - How did we get here? - Oh, because you don't really, it was like dark hair. You know, when I dyed my hair blonde at one time? - Yeah. - I could see a mustache. Because our hair's dark, it almost like all blends, but if you were blonde, you'd be like, oh, I have mustache. - No, before laser hair removal, I used to bleach my arms and my, like, hair on my face, like in high school. - I love that for you. Who did it? - Myself. - You're actually an artist. - No, Sally Hansen. I'd look at it. like mix it up every Friday night before I went to like the football game, I would be like bleaching. And my girlfriend's in high school would always be like, oh my God, like the hair around your forehead is always like lighter than your real hair. And I would just be like, genetics. - But really? - It was because I was bleaching like any facial hair, but I would never tell anyone that. 'Cause no one was as Italian as I was. So I wouldn't set, they were like all blah. I was friends with in high school. Everyone was blonde hair, blue eyes, and had the biggest boobs in the world. And then it was me. - You were literally Audrey Hepburn and a bunch of Marilyn Monroe's. - Yes. - I don't know how you survived that. - Like Stephanie did. - Did you ever speaking up about that? - Thank you, because I'm best friends. Stephanie is like Irish and German and God knows what she does not have a single hair, like on her body. - When my mom went to Cornell and shut up to my smart mom, she was like one of the few Italians. - Yeah. - And it's like, I just like my mom has dark hair. - Can I actually talk shit about my husband and her hair? - So as you guys know, does got his knee surgery. So do you guys knee surgery? They shaved his leg, one of his legs. So it's been like a week and a half. And he looks at me and he's like look at my leg and I'm like what? And he's like look at it. I'm like what do you want to show me? - No. - His hair hadn't grown back. - Your kids are gonna be really lucky. - Well, let's hope that they take up their hair. And I'm sitting there and I have a five o'clock shadow and I shaved earlier that morning. And I'm like, it's just crazy. - My kids are like already hairy. That's how hairy I am. - Yeah, my kids. - I'm already fucking my daughter with her hair. - My kids are gonna come out as a hair ball. Just like, it's just a bunch of hair. - Can he just get a berther and it's just hair. - My kids who come out with like full dark hair. - Yeah, it's gonna be my child. - So cute. (laughing) - My children's gonna come out with like full ringlets and like, ask me where the leaving condition are in. - I'm just gonna have a mustache. - Yeah. Did I talk about my derma plane incident with the TSA agent? (laughing) - You know, I think that one slips into cracks. I'm not sure that we've heard that. - Because as you guys know, it's a wreck. - I mean, that is a weapon. - I'm flying. - Yeah, five times a week sometimes. I have a downward science. I know exactly what to do to make everything smooth. So it's always the end of the tour that shit starts to go all right. - It's like a universe stops protecting me. - To like go home. (laughing) - You're like, let it go. - Your aura is too much. - You're across the country. - You're a burnt. - Yeah. - You're, what did I say, cropped? - No, your chops. - Chop. (laughing) - So I'm in fucking, where the fuck was I? - Yeah, it doesn't matter. I don't know if they're in North Carolina, I think. - Yeah. - And my luggage gets pulled to the VIP line. - Yeah. - Pulled to the side. - Great way to buy. (laughing) - I need to take a second, huh? - And immediately, I'm, I actually get furious. Like I get a little Karen in the head of like, I do this every week. Why is this now? - Yeah. - Like what's different? Like cause they actually, - Look at you possibly found that - They see something different. - Yeah, yeah, like you guys have seen something. Anyway, so it's just like 35-year-old guy and he's just doing his job. And he was like, do you have any liquids? And I'm like, no, I'm not fucking dumb. - Yeah. - I fly every day. Like I'm not, I mean I didn't talk like that. But I was just like, no. I don't even have my duck and freshers. And he's, so he's like looking through everything and obviously my bag is a fucking mess. So they open it up and you get exposed. And it's just bad. And I'm like, there's no way he's gonna shut this. Like, you know how hard it was to, and I'm just sitting there like this. And he can't find anything. So I'm like, this is on you guys. Like what did you, you're the one who got me here. You're asking me what the problem is when you said there's a problem. You tell me what the problem is. So finally he's looking through my makeup bag and I was like, whatever. And he pulls out my derma plane racer and he's looking at it for like three minutes. - No, this could be an entire show. - So and I'm looking at him 'cause I'm annoyed. So I'm not giving him anything. I'm like, he's just looking at it. And finally he looks at me and goes, what is this? And I go, sometimes I got these little goat hairs on the bottom of my head. - You said this? - I said, so I'm gonna see a little hairs and it takes the hairs off my chin. And he looks at me and he's like. - It's essentially a really thin racer. - Yeah, so then he starts like trying to take it apart and it's like a nice derma plane. It's like a heavy one. Like it's one of the things that I got like three years ago. - Yeah, yeah. - It probably doesn't work anymore. - Do you have a derma plane your eyebrows? - I'm scared. - Yeah. - I'm scared. I have like intrusive thoughts that I'd be like, what if I just-- - Yeah. - So because I feel like it would be so, like why don't people do that more? 'Cause it's harder to control it, I think. But it's essentially shaving, I don't know, whatever. - So he, he's looking at me, I'm looking at him. He like doesn't trust me or something. So he goes, hold on one sec. Get his manager holding my weapon. And he's basically, he's like, is this a gun? Like he's talking to the lady. It was a full 15 minutes of him talking to this woman deciding, so he comes back and I go, look sir. I've been flying with this weapon for six months now and it's never been a problem. Why is he getting flagged now? And he's like, well technically, it is a razor and you're not allowed to have razors. And he, he takes it apart and you can pull, he goes, see this is, I'm like, what you just broke it. And he's like, okay, well, do you want it without the razor? And I go, no, you know, it's not, it's just-- - I want the plastic wand. - I want the plastic wand. So-- - I have enough microplastics in me, sir. I'm not like taking this now for the rest of my journey. You've stolen the good part. - So he's like, sorry, you can't have your full sword. And I was just like, okay, you win. - It's crazy 'cause I have a razor in my carry on all the time. - It never gets-- - Yeah, I've never gone. So like, it was this huge deal. And then I was at the point where I was like, do I just for women argue that like this is important to have in our bags? And that like also-- - And you know what, I do need a razor on me at all times, because people are crazy. - Also, speaking of not all men, I got into the Uber this morning. And my name says, just pee, just the letter P. And I get in the Uber and he was like, oh, what's pee for, like Patricia? And I was like, oh, no, my name is Paige, but I put pee 'cause I don't want the person to know if I'm a girl or a boy like before I get out there. - And he-- I did say get out there, before I really get going. And he like started laughing. And he was like, oh, yeah, that's actually really smart, you never know. Send him in the bag of the Uber and I'm like, you don't ever know. Do we know right now though? Like are we both in a way? - You got to know, you never know, but do I know? - Are we in agreement right now that we're not gonna know, we're gonna know that you're gonna take me the destination I'm gonna get out and then you're gonna leave. Like we're not gonna do this on Monday morning at 8 a.m. But I was like, wow, a grown man whose job is to drive people around was like really smart idea 'cause you never know. That's scary. It's so scary that, yeah, the person, he's like, yeah, no, these people are fucking nuts. And they'll take people. - He's like, no, easily, I could take you right now. - Yeah, I thought you, yeah. Do you remember when you get off at airports? Well, they're still there and people would just be like, hey, do you want to ride? Do you want to ride on a car? I don't know how it happened, but I was at a young age. And I couldn't get a taxi and some guy was like, hey, when he just seemed nice. And he was like a white fan and I remember thinking this the last time I'm ever gonna see my family. And I didn't have my cell phone was dead. I was like, what are the situations that I'm like, only I would find myself in my cell phone was dead. I was in a white man. I don't know direction. - Really should I just suffocate myself or are you gonna do it? Do you want me to just all start it? - I mean, you literally gave it to them on a god damn platter. He like slides the van door open. - He almost was like, this is boring. This is too easy. I want a little bit of a fight or something. I was like taking so I go, he calls his mom. He's like, she wants to come with us. So I don't, I don't know what to do. I actually Nikki Glaser in her specials this past weekend was like talking about how American women aren't getting sex traffic as much as like European women, which find whatever they are hotter. But every single day, I'm like someone's trying to take me. - Did she say in the bathroom stalls? - There's like a warning. - In the women's stalls, it's always like, if you're being sex traffic, where it's like in the men's stalls, it's like. - Do you want to say? (laughing) - Do you want to blow down me? - The weather's cloudy today. - What does it say in their stalls now? - We both are getting our nails done today. - We are. - What color are you doing? - I'm gonna do the same thing. But now I've roped myself into being your assistant when it comes to your nails and toes. Now my guy texts me when I make an appointment, he goes, "What about Hannah?" - I go, "Well, let me check." - You know what? That made my day 'cause someone's looking out for me. Someone cares about me 'cause other people didn't believe in me. They were like, "I see her nail journey "and I don't want to be part of a strict regiment." And I actually like waited for you. Like I was like, "I this is the longest I've ever gone. "I've gone like six weeks." - It's pretty crazy. - It's disgusting. - Me and you both watched at least the beginning of the documentary. - Should I marry a murderer? - I keep falling asleep. - I thought it was AI. I thought she was AI. - 'Cause she's so expressive. - Yeah, I actually had to go back and in the beginning and I was like, "Did they do a warning?" - She should have her own podcast. She's really charismatic. - There's also something about like a British documentary that I'm just like. - It's Scottish. - Oh. (laughs) time. They say, "Meldere." "Meldere." "Meldere." Did I marry Meldalette? Yeah. "Meldere." I was not my phone for most. Skye's people, it's an incredible accent. I can't. Yeah. I think you were having trouble understanding possibly. But if you don't, okay, it's incredible. This is incredible documentary because it's literally about how long will you stay with a guy if he's six four? She brings it up multiple times. She's like, "But he's six four, and he's six four, and he's six four." And she literally is like, he took a. I think, okay, fast-forward if you don't know what happened, but she makes this guy into six four, and she's sold. Yeah. And he loves her, and then he's like, "I have to tell you something." And it's funny when a guy says, "I have to tell you something." You're like flashes before you're like, of all the horrible things. Like, what could it be? See, I usually know. I'm like, I've been waiting. Yeah. Oh, you finally won. I'm like, "Money, tell me." Mm-hmm. You're kidding. And when was that? Yeah. We already do. They're group chat do, okay? So, this guy's like drinking and driving with his twin, who's also six four, which I think adds the lore. Yeah. Like maybe she, whatever, three, some, whatever. Okay, so he kills an old man and hits him with the car. Which like, look. Oh, that's how he killed him. You didn't watch that segment. I was literally two minutes in. That was the entire premise that I married murder. You didn't watch that. I couldn't understand that. It was actually shown in a visual that he hit him with the car. I was on TikTok. I was on TikTok. Kitty was getting better. I was on a crumper. At the same time that me and you are getting our nails done, Kitty will also be getting her nails done. You got a groomer, to check your house? Yes. Well, she goes into like a little van. She gets sex traffic. She's a lot to go to do a little. Yes, she's an animal. She's like, "Mom, have you checked this guy's license?" She goes down into Louis Vuitton case and she's like, "Oh, I don't think so." My brother would never. Well, I want to get her like, her nails trimmed, her paws trimmed. Does she get a glove? Get her hair washed for like this summer. Yeah. So like, every like three months, 10 weeks usually, I get her a little spa day. She loves it. Kitty loves getting brush. It's her hobby. I thought she walks back in the house. She's like stuff looking. Yeah, stuff like she knows. The center of his guy, he hit an old man of this car. Which, look, drunk driving is beyond fucked up. Yeah. And he knew that he's in trouble. So he kills him on accident. Also, when you're drunk driving, I assume you're going to kill someone. But like, he drunk drove. Drunk driving is really, really annoys me because I'm like, it's one thing I just like, I just never have like, I've never been in the situation to drunk driving. Well, I never drink. Drinking and never drives. I can't drive. Yeah. And growing up in the city, we had a lot less drunk driving incidents because, you know, when none of us had licenses, so it's crazy how like in a suburb, how many kids get in trouble. But anyway, and they can't drive to beginning. Don't try to drive and stop when he cigarettes. It's not cool. I don't care if I didn't read it. Anyway, I'm ever with mom. Yeah. So they hit the guy and they realized, he's still fucking alive. But instead of calling an ambulance, they like, change their clothes and they bury him alive. I don't know if he was alive, but he had died by that point, but in like the 40 minutes that he was dying, he could have been saved. So she's like, oh, this is layers of diabolical. Yeah. But then she's like, he is six, four. And made mistakes. He makes mistakes. But she decides she's going to tell the police. He confesses this to her. Yep. She calls the police. And what are the police, sir? She finds out from him where the body is located. Like the police would have never found it. And she's drinking a red bull. And she drops the red bull right where the place is. So she marks it. Like she's fucking full. She's also a woman in STEM of the week. And she's doing that for the cops. For the cops. They're like farmers on like acres and acres. And he also like cuts up bodies and stuff. Like, oh, he's a hunter. Yes. Okay. So I thought this was going to get way more interesting and be like, this is one of the many people he killed. He's not like a serial killer, which was kind of disappointing. But I'm the crazy thing is though, the cops don't protect her. The cops and she calls the cops. She's like, hey, this guy killed him. They bring him in. They bring him in. And they are like, we think that you killed this guy and he denies it. And then when he gets out, she doesn't know if the cops talk to him or not about her. And he calls her and he's like, where are you? And she's like, I cannot be with him. But she has to pretend that she's not like hanging out with the murderer that she just tried to get to prison. But he's six, four. So she's like, come in, baby. And he looks at her and he's, he doesn't know. But then the cops go to check in on her because she was like, I'm going to like, I can get killed right now. They and they know her name. So they go Caroline. And then he's like, receptive. He goes, how did they know your name? Oh my god. How are these the dumbest cops in America? Do not protect her at all. Like that's mostly what you get from the documentary is how like this woman put her life in line and like really ruined her life. Yeah. But then during COVID, she can't tell anyone her story because the cops sold her she can't. So she's like losing her mind alone. He's out by the farm. I think something happened. But basically she's like, he's the only person I could like beat myself with. So she moves back in with him. Oh my god. That's insane. I've said for some crazy ass things. Okay. I am not one to talk. But look, you know what? Oh, so this is what happens. He finds out she was the one who told. And yeah, she thinks that he's going to kill her. And he comes up to her and he cries and he goes, I shouldn't have put you in that position. And like, I'm so sorry. And like you did what you had to do. So she's like, I'm in love with you again. Because she's like, he's honest. He understands me. He sees me and you six four. So and they're cute together. So literally, who am I running for? Ultimately, I let you guys watch the end. But they don't come on. He gets like 12 years. And he's still in jail. 12 years. I know. It should have been more, but they weren't able to prove that the guy was alive when he first hit him. So it's more like a hit and run. Yeah. So she, but she's, she went, her life was ruined from it just from meeting this tall guy on Tinder. So just like, watch out in these streets. Oh my God. And don't drunk drive. He loved bomb her. But like, he was so nice and stuff. And probably just like was a different person. Like, they lie and change their personality. You know, it gives it gives that friend that like is horrible to other people. But they've never been to you. Yeah. And still hang out with them. Yeah. And you're all these stories and people warn you. And you're like, but they're literally nice to me. Yeah. And then when they fucking do something crazy, you're like, why didn't I listen? But you're like, because they were being nice to me. Yeah. And that's, see the signs, see the, it's, but also when was this? What year was this? Like having COVID? Because recently, not that long ago. Also, also, I forgot to tell you, she's a doctor. Okay. She's not a dummy. She's a full doctor. Okay. And that's where the police also were like, she's not a vulnerable victim. She's smart. And it's like just because she's smart. Right. I mean, she's not vulnerable against. Right. Like, he's still six four alcohol. Which like a six four alcoholic. We've all died. If I had a god damn. It's called an alcoholic has a crush on you. Oh, he, he chases your ass. Yeah. He can't see. The voice mills you got. He thinks you have a twin. Okay. And her job, once I was dating this guy and he was an alcoholic. And he would like, try and convince me that he wasn't an alcoholic. And once I'm we, like, one out or something, the way to know if you're an alcoholic is if you have to try to explain someone why you're not an alcoholic, continue. He tried to tell me that someone roofied him. I was like, I was like, babe, it was you. He was like, no, I'm telling you. Like, they got it out for me. I'm like, no one slips something in your eight drinks. That you made for yourself. But honestly, in the moment, I was like, well, man, it's crazy. Who? I was lucky to be jealous. I'm like, why did my boyfriend get roofied and not me? Turn college. Like I was really scared about everyone getting roofied. Yeah. I got roofied twice in my adult life. Oh my god. And my most recent time, I was probably 26. I think it was, it was like a Halloween party. I don't think someone intentionally tried to roofie me. I actually think which is a great situation. Because I'm like, now I'm picturing the guy is probably like, I didn't want Paige to drink it. Who the fuck cares about me? I think it was intended for someone else because I grabbed the wrong drink. They're long fingers. But also kind of like did it to myself. No, no, no, no, I didn't. But when you get roofied, it hits instantly. Like I think I, and the only reason I knew is because it was my first drink. So there's a nail polish out there that you can dip into drinks and it turns a different color if there's a roofie in it. That's nice. Yeah. And those girls made that like, coupled, like they made like a, looks like a hair tie that you can like put over your drink. And also, there's a new camera that these girls invented that's in your beret, no not beret. It's a hair clip. Upsass in my beret? It's a hair clip. So if you wear a hair clip, it films so you can like get content whenever but also it can like protect you in a night out. That would be funny though. I mean not funny but if you wake up you're like what I do last night and then you just watch it with your friends. You're like, that was crazy. You see in my head I'm like you get your boyfriend this new gift and you're like where this out every night. Cuz you're Russia. Yeah, I guess I'm crazy. But it's fun sometimes. It is, it is. I got the mango pineapple Duncan refresher, it's so refreshing for a Monday after drinking the night before. Oh my gosh. This is your first one called refresher. I got a berry as I eat refresher and it's just like my new personality recently. I think it is my favorite flavor. You love that color purple? Well I think it's my aura. Is that your aura? No it's pink. Yeah. Maybe it's maybe there is change. This on a Monday. No. Pink. You could be pink purple. I'm pink. I'll have to DM Michaela and just be like hated pages or a change. She's been acting kind of off lately. She's cramping her hair. Um, things are crazy. Also do I look tan? Okay. No matter. Not like particular like I think actually I'm somber. Like laid out. Actually quite pink. Yeah. No you're not tan. Yeah. Come back to you Friday's episode. It's your turn. I'll be right back. Everyone look. Fuck the love. Oh also we're going to LA this week. Oh yeah. We're leaving Wednesday. Yes. For the Netflix as a joke. The have gotten a lot of messages being like we can't wait for the Giggly Swad show. And I'm like just letting you guys know it is an interview show. Yeah. For the first time ever we're interviewing people live. Important people. Very important. We've written it out. We hope it's like those. Netflix was like hey guys what do you want to name your show? And we were like hey what show? And they're like when you interview Kate Hudson, Mindy Kaling and Brenneston. This isn't an interview show. And Hannah goes um how about just like Giggly Swad interviews, important people. And they go we love it. And I was like Hollywood is a joke. Hollywood is a literal joke. They go perfect. Incredible. They're like wow that's so artsy and so fun. But I also love that they're like these girls never interview people. Let's this will be perfect. I've been talking to Giggly Swad, I'm like this isn't normal Giggly Swad, like we're not like throwing rocks at men. We have to like ask professional important women questions. Mindy Kaling is going to be there. Mindy Kaling. Kate Hudson, also Brenda Song has been everywhere on my feed. She like really no sports. Yes. Have you seen her like yelling at everything? So um it'd be iconic. I don't know what I'm wearing yet. I mean either. I'm deciding today. I'm wearing. But us in LA is a different animal. I know but we're not saying that long, which probably good. Yeah. I could say that we got no but we have cats. We do have cats. We have a family. We love you guys so much for Giggly with us. Thank you Duncan for sponsoring the episode and we'll talk to you guys later. Bye.