Giggling about windbreakergate, celeb sightings, and sperms

- You know, we're making art here. - Get a giggler. - Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. - Man, I think that shit. We can't be manners. (laughing) - I'm in the day, just got away from me. - My gaggle of gigglers. - Yes, phenomenal one. - Oh my God, now my head's all big. (laughing) Also, you complimented my t-shirt at the airport, and I was like, no, you were being low-key chic at the airport. You've never said those words to describe me before? - Well, let's apologize to the academy. - Yeah, for. - This is our first late episode in forever. - Well, we were bamboozled, we were hoodwinked. - To grease on vacation, she loved us for dead. - We're literally lost chickens without her. Honestly, Josephine texted me over the weekend. She was like, did you take any pictures? And I go, I knew where I was freaking. (laughing) - No, Grace's on vacation's texted me, be like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, go have fun. Go have fun, meanwhile, we're drowning. We're drowning, we're drowning. We had a crazy weekend in the, in the-- - No, but we really did. - We really did. - I feel like we should start from the top. - Should we just address one breaker gate? - I feel like it's such a scene that needs to be set. 'Cause it's such a full story. - Let's start on Monday. - Let's take it all the way back. - Monday morning, we record the pod. We do some more housekeeping things. We're having just such a good best friend day. Hannah comes back to my apartment. We're getting our nails and toes done. We're yapping. - You showed me your closet. Hannah, I showed Hannah like new things I bought. I tried on jackets. - I was like walking her closet. I'd see so I'm like, that's cute. And then she told me like a whole story about how she sourced from-- - It's from from, it's fucking Germany. - I was like, this is my dream. Tell me my closet and look at my stuff. - Actually, it's so much, I felt like I was with my, in my grandma's closet with like all our perfumes. And I was like, this is what princesses do. - Yeah, I was like, I have stuff over here. And I have stuff over here. So anyway, so we're sitting there. And I was like, oh, what are you wearing? Saturday night for Netflix is a joke for our performance. And Hannah goes, I really want to wear something cool. I just want to do Capri's and a windbreaker. And I was like, I love it. Very in, very chic. Very, yeah. - 'Cause it's like a sports show running point. So I was like, let's lean in, Hannah. - Lean to a theme. - And so she goes, I ordered a windbreaker on Fashion Nova. No hate, no shade. - No hate, no shade, no tea. - I say, love it. But we are going to be on stage. - Well, this might have happened. I think this windbreaker trend is crazy. 'Cause I did buy Fashion Nova windbreakers and they're fucking cunt. And they're cool. And yeah, they don't have like a designer label on it. But I was like, I was feeling myself. But you looked at me and you said-- - They get the job done. - They get the job done. But you were like, Hannah. Kate Hudson, Minty Kaling and Brenda Sanger taking time out of their very important busy days. - They've looked in their closets. - To be in our closet. - It's called stylus. They've picked out an outfit. Minty Kaling showed up in a Gucci match-ings. - So I say, Hannah, I love you so much. I love where your head's at. I have a YSL windbreaker that I think will be perfect for the aesthetic you're trying to execute. I run upstairs, I get my YSL windbreaker. She tries it on. Perfect, we love it. - One thing that'll make you panic is knowing I'm unprepared and I'm gonna embarrass you. - So thinking back, it does look strategic for me to be like, I don't know what a little wear. I guess I have to wear your YSL windbreaker. - I went into a full body sweat. I was immediately panic. - You were like, I don't wanna do this, but I have to do this. - It was for the greater good of America that I had to put my YSL windbreaker out there. - No, this is so page-coded, but this YSL windbreaker sold out everywhere. I was thinking about if I were to get bull and a's on it, I can't just buy your another one. - It's done. - No one has this color combo. Like, I can't find, you can't find this color combo in the streets I had to have it sourced. - Yes, it's an endangered species. Like she had to give away like rights to like her firstborn. - No, truly. - To get this windbreaker. - The coveted is how I sourced it. They got it right. - But I also think the windbreaker's one thing right now that's you coded and me coded. And also it fit me. You were so excited. You're like your perfect, I'm just worried about you. Thank God. - It was perfect. And so I literally mentally checked that box. Like, okay, it kinda has an outfit. Great, we can go to the event. - But immediately I was scared. I was like, do you want me to take it with me? And you were like, yeah. And I'm like, you don't want to pack it. You trust me to pack it. Like you were like, you're grown up. Just figured out. - I was like, take it. So, okay, I mentally checked that off my list. We get to the airport one day. We're flying to LA. We're sitting, we're waiting for our plane. I'm making casual conversation. - I'm sorry, wait. - Were you not recording? That's okay. - That's okay. - That's okay. - That's okay. - We, it's fine, you can't beat yourself up. - Great. - All the things. It's okay. - Great. - We're out of here. - We're drowning. - Okay, so anyway, so back to our story. So we're sitting in the airport. We're, I'm making casual conversation. When we land in LA, Hannah is going to the Chelsea handler live show. - But you didn't know what we were in for. I found out my Hulu Special is dropping June 5th. So I was like, I have to do press when I'm in LA. And I find out that they were there. We booked a podcast in the morning, a Netflix brunch, and the show at night. Now look, I'm a resourceful person. And if I find an outfit that works, why risk an outfit that isn't gonna work? We all remembered the green corset of 2022. I'll do this all the time. I'll put together an outfit to get drinks the other night and it looked good. I'm wearing this every day this week. But then I realized this isn't my clothes. This is pages. - Yeah. - 35,000 dollar windbreak. (laughing) So then I was gonna do it and not tell you, but I was looking at you and you were looking so sweet and nice and I said, you know what? - Let's get ahead of it. And I said, just so you know I'm gonna be, I think I'm gonna wear the windbreaker for some other stuff in there. - And I go, oh, what are you wearing tonight to the Chelsea Handler Show? And she goes, the YSL windbreaker. And I go, oh, okay. And then I go, well, in the morning, what are you wearing to the brunch? And she goes, no, for Chelsea, I wore fashion Nova. She, 'cause I felt like two days was that selfish. Like that's greedy. But I was like, is it really wearing it? It's just, I just wore it one day. - And mind you, this is my sweaty friend. - I've been using my dog. I've been, I've been trying not to sweat. - So I'm like dying in the airport. I'm like, Hannah, you can't wear the YSL windbreaker for every single event. She's like, it's literally fine. So we go through the whole weekend and she honestly crashes it in the YSL windbreaker. If it works, it works, why change the recipe? - When she did show up to the brunch in her Steve Madden tabby, like, heel, I did look her in the eye and say, you cannot wear these heels on stage. I literally won't go. So she changes her heel. - I think I'm a different person when I'm packing. So I brought fame sick and I brought, I'm glad my mother died. (laughing) But not a second outfit. God forbid. God forbid the trip we were taking for work for three different events. God forbid you brought a second outfit. Two books, Hannah. You got it. - The people who were cleaning the room like organized them somewhere. Left them in the hotel. 'Cause I didn't remember that old Hannah packed books. So when I was, (laughing) - Wait, that's so funny. I left my pimple cream in the hotel and that's so me. - I get there and I take out the YSL windbreaker, I hang it up. 'Cause I have respect for you. - Yeah. - And I was nervous about it. - I was actually freaking out. I kept checking it like every 10 minutes to make sure it was still there. (laughing) - It's like your passport when you want to try. You're like, you keep like unzipping your suitcase. You're like, okay, cool. - Literally. And then I realize I'm wearing my Cucupries and I go, I want a huge massive thing. - We forgot. - A thong. So I go on Instacart. - Yeah. - Target. - And I press thong. And I'm like, I hope whatever male Instacart guy. - And then you like said the Hail Mary, 10 times. - Did the rosary? - Yeah. And I was like, I'm a little slut and I sent for, also what girl needs target thongs right now. (laughing) So then I go to the Chelsea Handler show. - There's a lot of reasons. - Yeah, I had to go to the Chelsea Handler show. So I was like, let go and let go. I hope the Instacart finds its way back to me. - Oh, commando to Chelsea Handler show or under my bed. - Oh, I was wearing jeans, I was wearing jeans. - Got it, got it, got it. - I was wearing my full beat, my full beat hands comfortable. Enjoying the last couple days of comfort and not the invasiveness of a thong. - Dental floss. - Yes. So I get back and it's like 11 p.m. I'm getting my spray tan and I'm like, oh that's weird, where's the Instacart? And I look and it says it was delivered. So I'm like, I'll just call downstairs. I'm like, hey, I'm is there an Instacart for Hannah Berner? And they're like, hmm, what's it from? And I was like, I think it's Target. And they're like, hmm, let me check. And it comes back and he goes, is it underpants? [LAUGHS] And I'm like, why the fuck did you look in the-- how many Target bags did you have in the hotel? And also, never say underpants again. Underpants? I go, I'm a grown-up wearing a thong. I'm a fucking little slut wearing a thong. So the guy literally comes up, the same guy, who knows I ordered underpants, comes up, looks me in the eye. And he said, thank you, sir. Good night. So next time, they invited me for having to wear the same outfit all day. I know that there's a lot of stuff going on underneath. I'm literally crying. And I'm like, I'm just trying to live. I'm just trying to be the best I could be. And people don't let me. Yes. Rebecca, you had to order thongs. If I showed up at the Netflix brunch with pantylines, I would have been more tough-hide. Because it's with your win-breaker. So it's like disrespecting the win-breaker. The YSL outfit was perfect. And I did put on really nice heels for the show. But I ended up having this big podcast in the morning. And I was like, Paige would love me wear the YSL for that. And all these things are photographed. Then we go to the craziest Netflix brunch. And they're taking photos everywhere. And the thing is with the blazer, the win-breaker, it's not subtle. Like, it's the moment. So people aren't going to forget that I was wearing an orange win-breaker everywhere. So at this brunch, I run into Kate Hudson. I say, oh, no. Oh, no. This is my nightmare. And she's like, are you doing the panel with me later, right? And I said, and I'm like, trying to cover the win-breaker. I'm like, yeah. And I'm like, can't wait to see you there. Kate Hudson shows up in a gorgeous gown. I'm standing there in my win-breaker. Of course. It's literally art. She's standing in like an art piece that she's like, oh, it's a skirt I had. I'm like, that should be in the Louvre. And Hannah's here. In the same win-breaker, she saw me in six hours ago. Tell them what my mom messaged you. So then I'm on the plane Friday morning coming back to the East Coast. I get a DM from none other than Lenore Berner, who hasn't spoken to me unbeknownst. Did Hannah's luggage get lost? Question mark? Why is she wearing that outfit? Question mark. I go, LOL. She said she wanted to wear it. She doesn't look bad. But did she wear that two days in a row, period? I'm confused, period. Sorry. Hannah, I nearly fell off my chair. And this is why no one will ever hurt my feelings because my mom is my biggest op. My mom goes, I'm confused, sorry. I love how she's like, I need to first find out from Paige why this has happened. I love how she's like, she doesn't look bad. It's just like why did you wear the same outfit from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. today? No, she literally was that TikTok being like-- I love her. But like-- She was like, what's going on, man? But she's amazing, but like, sorry, I just-- I love her, but she like is the problem. And I'm like, no, I'm obsessed with her. But it was cunt. No, it totally was. Also, I spent a pretty penny on that windbreaker. Let her get out there, let her see the town, let her be photographed on other bodies. OK, that was good. Don't body positivity me. She's like, I wanted to see different experiences, hugging different places. But no, I wanted to milk every what it was worth, even though you paid for it. Also, yeah, we don't-- I'll write it off. We don't fit in the same clothes. Like, it's not normal. That Paige is like, I don't want to wear this. Do you want to wear it? I'd be like, no, my ass will hang out. Because you love a little mini thing. Right, this was just two girls cheering clothes. Just sisters. And it's so sisterly for you to be like, hey, are you going to give me back that windbreaker? You know, it's funny, it's because the picture is from the brunch, at the same DM that I kept getting, was like, why do you and Hannah look alike at the brunch? And I truly feel like we're morphing into the same person a little bit. It's almost like when you look like your dog. Wait, OK, so Netflix is a joke festival has this brunch. You got there early. Unbeknownst to me, I thought you were going to wait. But I was in a four-hour podcast in my YSL one-breaker. And I have these texts from Paige saying, where are you? You're dead to me. You love me for dead. I'm going to kill you. You're dead to me. And I'm like, OK, what the fuck? And I realize she's been there for an hour without me. Oh, I was going to say, mind you, it's like 15 minutes ago. I went to the Uber driver. I was like, step on it. My friend's alone. My friend's in danger. The amount of small talk that I had to do, honestly, the only way I could describe it is I felt like I went to visit my friend's college for the weekend. And this was the first Friday night party. And you were bringing me around being like, this is my brunch, it goes to a different school. But she's here for the weekend, so have fun. And you guys have seen her around. Like, yeah. You're like, you've definitely seen her on my Instagram. Like, no, she doesn't go here, but she's really fun. She's my friend. Literally, the head of Netflix was like, she doesn't even go here, and you were just in a hoodie in the back. But it was so fun, because I feel like my comedy friends, my co-workers, and this other job I have. So to like, I was also showing off. Like, I was like, Paige, look, look at all my friends. And I started, I got in crazy hand in mode again. Well, you and I are very different that when we get into a situation that's like overstimulating or like a lot of things happening, I get more reserved and quiet. And you get louder. And you're like, there was a moment where Hannah just yelled, women and children only. [LAUGHTER] I know this is the most insane brunch. We're like, imagine you spot a celebrity. Like, that feeling you get. Imagine that's every time you look somewhere. So like, I look at any Murphy's right there, Kevin Hart's right there, Nikki Glazer's right there, Nick Kruel's right there, David Letterman's right there, John has to was right there, like, that's just who you're with. And we had to take this big photo. And we're all trying to like, figure out where to stand. And it got kind of chaotic. And then at one point, I was just filming myself. I go, women and children only. I look back at Nick Kruel's just standing there. And I was like, kind of Kruel. No, there was a moment where I like squeezed Hannah's arm. And I was like, shut up. But I put down the, um, the window, the corner. And I was like, yelling at Chelsea Handler. Literally, I was like, stop causing a spectacle. No, you literally, like, kind of stop. Hannah get in the car. Hannah get, Hannah get in the car. I clenched my teeth and I was like, we have to go. You fed enough. You fed it. We'll talk about this later. Take off the windbreaker. I feel the adrenaline hit. And I was looking at you like, I couldn't control myself. Like, you knew I wanted to be normal. But I was like, I was like, page. You were too so excited. I got so excited to see all my friends and all these people I look up to. Did go up to Matt Reif and tell him that I have a joke about him and my upcoming special. We don't know if he loved it or not, but he laughed. We'll see. We'll say, I feel like that was like a recipe. He laughed and then he walked away. He was like, I'm done here. No, the brunch was very cool. I loved my glam so I was having a good time, which is really that so something unhealthy, but it's fine. You looked so good. Thank you, and I love to my dress. Did you meet anyone that you were excited to meet there? Or you were just observing? I was observing. I didn't want to go up to anyone and be annoying. Obviously, I love seeing Chelsea Handler and Nikki Glaser. And I love seeing the girls. Yeah. And it was so much fun. Taylor Thompson said she loves our clips. I love her. She loves Taylor, shout out, iconic. But the actual event of like Mindy Kaling, Brenda Song, Kate Hudson, was-- first of all, I am Mindy Mindy is me. I felt like we were long lost sisters. Actually, I felt like we were friends from high school that hadn't seen each other in a minute, but it was like nothing had no time had passed. But it was also giving maybe one to different high schools, but you were the same font in that high school. And so we were cool with each other. She was like, I know what it's like being prom queen 800 times. You had to run the society of whatever. Like, it's exhausting. I know that-- And no one gives you any credit for how beautiful you are. Like that was the vibe we were giving to each other. And I feel like Kate Hudson was so Hannah coded in so many different situations. And let me tell you, she's the definition of whimsy. There's something about her aura that's very calming while also being, oh my God, I don't even know what the word is. It's not star-struck and it's not, you're not like, you say star-struck it? Star-struck? Like, it wasn't, it wasn't like I was star-struck, but I was very aware that you're like-- No, I was just celebrity. Well, you, you're a bitch, because Kate Hudson, we asked her about revenge, if how they feel about revenge and Kate Hudson was like, we love forgiveness. And I was like, I love that Kate. I love forgives us too. And then you called my ass out and you said, Hannah Burner. You were the most vengeful person I've ever met. So I'm trying to suck up to Kate Hudson and make her like you. And I said, how dare you call me out. I was about to be best friends with Kate Hudson and then you called me a fraud. I like, forgot the crowd was there, because I was like, don't embarrass yourself in front of Kate Hudson. Yeah. But Kate Hudson, what I love about her is she's exactly how she is in every rom-com. Like, she's the-- Who do you want, like, if you think about meeting her, it's exactly who you want her to be. Easy laugh for charming little jokes under her breath. Oh, she's just so iconic. And she's nominated for an Oscar for Singing last year. And you just want to keep looking at her and be around her. She has a very, like, infectious smile and personality and Brenda's song. Oh, my God. One of the most down-to-earth, very nice, just-- I just felt like we were girls together. I didn't want to bring this up on the panel, because it seemed like two intents. But I was like, she's been acting since she's three years old. Like, the fact that she's as normal as she is-- She's been on a lot of stuff, too. A lot of stuff. She's had so many different lives in Hollywood. The fact that she's so fucking well-rounded and cool and like-- Like, she was in the Facebook movie. Oh, my God. She's done everything. Also, she's married to McCulloch and I forgot about that. I mean, she's London-tipped and-- She's London-fucking-tipped. Which was always my favorite. I feel like I was, like, a little bit too old for that show, but I knew what you loved London. I knew I was a London-tipped-in-girl. I'm also a Sharpe Evans. You wanted your name to be London-tipped-in. It definitely was on my baby name last forever. For a time. She also wore this outfit that was both Hannah and Paige Codic, because it was like-- And she said that to us. Yeah, which was crazy. We didn't talk about, at the Netflix's joke brunch. I don't have to say that full of them every time. This is crazy. Just say the brunch. We met Brittany Snow. No, you attacked her. Oh, no. Physically? And emotion. Oh, no. In my head, we met her, but you're right. You're right. You're right and grabbed her by the shoulders. And I told her, I loved her so. You're right. I assaulted Brittany Snow. I go, Brittany Snow came up to us. And you know she didn't. Unfortunately, she didn't know. No, you know what happened. I did tell her she was my Carolyn Bassette. No, because she had a very Carolyn Bassette outfit on. She had the perfect black, maxi skirt and a white button up. And I was like, so chic. Can I say what actually happened? I made eye contact with her while you were trying to pull me out of the party. I ripped you off of me. I said, stop it. It's Brittany Snow. And she locked eyes with us. Thank God you don't do drugs. You would be a nightmare to go out with. I'd have something to do on the street. Later, I was on drugs at that party. But I go up to her. Do you know what I said? I said, you're in everything right now. I'm obsessed with you. And she's like, oh my god, thank you. And I'm like, you're like Glenn Powell. And then I was like, I didn't mean that in like a-- no, I didn't mean it. And then she was like, no, I know what you mean. I was like, oh, oh. And then you were like, you're Carolyn Bassette. I'm like, better. That was better. I had to come in, save. Apparently, anything Glenn Powell wants to do, Holly would make. That's what I meant. Like, anything she wants to be in, I'm like, make it. Yeah, everyone's going to watch it. She's everything. Also, her style is so fucking good now. And then you were like, how do we have a live show in 30 minutes? But I'm like, I'm wearing the same outfit. I don't need to. No, I know. I was like, early. I'm going home, washing my face, getting glam redone. Wait, I loved my LA glam. You looked sexy. Like, you had a, like, Jennie's a queen. No, I had a moment where I was like, should I move to LA for a couple of months? Because, like, I'm really feeling this glam and, like, who my style is when I'm there. What did you think it was about the makeup? Because, like, you obviously looked like yourself. But, like, was it the brow? Like, what made it more sexy? I think it was my spray tan. At the end of the day. And now we've set it. Now we've set it. You guys know we live and die by revolve. When I don't want to overthink it, because there's so much going on, I go to revolve. I find whatever event I'm going to. It has all the curated recommendations. And I order all the stuff I want to try on. And then it's, I'm so bad at returning things. Returns are so easy. And shipping is so fast. Like, it really gets you out. It got me out of so many pinches and pickles. Also, yeah, when you're, like, last minute, you could also know you have an event coming up and you've ordered something for it. And then you're, like, I hate everything. And revolve will always come in handy. Because they're shipping. No, it's just, like, it's next level. They have, like, a festival shop that, like, I think went off during Coachella. Oh my god, I'm sure. I love when they break it down to, like, vacation, work, festival. Because you're like, yep, this is, like, my-- this is what I'm doing. This is where I'm going. And I actually just wore this, like, black cut out dress from revolve. And it was super last minute. I had to go to a dinner. Came beautiful, fit, gorgeous love. I recently got shoes. Because you know you have an outfit. This never happened to you, but you have an outfit. And you're like, I did not think about the shoes. And I need it. That's what happened to me. And they have all the brands I actually wear in one place. So you don't have to go to, like, a Brazilian website. All the brands are there. I love my angled, um, barrel jeans that I got there. I, like, live in them. And then also a random look at, like, skin care sometimes. So whether it's a girl's night, a date, or you're running into your ex, but thriving, revolve has it. Go to revolve.com/giggly and use code giggly for 15% off your first order. Offer ends May 19th. So don't miss out. I got a spray tan at 10.30 p.m. after the Chelsea Handler show. And we were getting on the plane. And Hannah was like, I have a spray tan tonight. And I was like, pardon? I was like, you didn't even tell me. And so then I was like, well, I'll get a spray tan too. It can be your pale, weird friend, which I've been many times. It's not that bad. The only place I like getting spray tans is in Los Angeles. They don't fuck around with it. They're artists. Like, I've yet to find a really good spray tan artist in New York City for whatever reason. I feel like everyone goes to Sugarton Bronz in New York. And I, not that I dislike them. I just feel like I did that in my early 20s. And they changed their formula at some point. And ever since then, I don't feel like it looks the same on my particular body. You just Kylie Jenner Snapchated them. Sorry. Like the fucking marketing girls, like, oh, no, I love them. No, I love them. I think they're great. They are great. If you're the kind of girl that's like, I'm making an appointment. I'm going after work on a Thursday, getting ready. I don't like to leave my apartment. So I like someone to come to my house. I've yet to find someone in New York City that comes to my house that I think is good. Love Sugarton Bronz. I had a little incident with them where I was there. This was during, like, reality TV. And a girl was, like, in my labial apps. And she's, like, by the way, I love you on summer house. And I was, like, [INAUDIBLE] And then I got on the subway after and sweat through my entire tan. And I was, like, this is going to work. But I feel like LA has to be good spray tans, because people around you are tan. We're in New York. When you guys spray tans, everyone else is pale. So it doesn't even have to be that good. You're like, I'm glistening. Where LA, you're competing with actual tans around you. There's something-- I know that New York City is like the fashion capital or one of the fashion capitals of the world. But there's something about New York City that's, like, you can be a gremlin on the street. And there's-- and in other cities, sometimes, it doesn't feel as accepted. And LA is one of those cities. And not even gremlin. You can express any range of emotions. You can express it. You can yell at people. You can cry. You can send me an any outfit and be coming or going from anywhere. And I appreciate that. It's a Sunday, and she's in full sweats and, like-- Yeah. Or full glam. Or full glam. I mean, you do photo shoots in the middle of the street in New York City, and everyone's, like, she's working. That's my front yard. That's where that's my office. Did you get on one of those buses for a photo shoot? Oh, my god. OK, so the Daphne summer comes out on Tuesday, actually, on the 12th. And-- Oh, my god, it's a very summer. And so, like, we were, like, let's you-- like, our vibe this summer is, like, let's do, like, city in the summer. So we're coming up with, like, all these different ideas. And they're like, what if we get on one of those buses? And I'm like, OK, but we're going to have to, like, buy tickets. Yeah, so like get out because you like buy tickets to get on those buses and then you have to like do a 45-minute tour and because I was like how are we gonna get the pictures so it's me like one other girl at the photographer we get on we buy tickets we get on bus we already like know the route we like did it the day before to like know what to do get on the bus we use the tour guide like um no one's listening in the back we're doing a full everyone starts getting on there's like the sweetest families in the back row and we're like hey do you mind if you move for just like one minute I'm gonna take a quick picture and then you can sit back down this family by the way this is what she did to me on my bachelorette continue this family was so sweet that's how I knew they were tourists they were probably like what in New York City moment this random woman is gonna just have a photo shoot they move they move their kids they're like watching me do the pictures they're like amazed they're fanning you these are giving you notes they're like chin down they now work for Daphne they're getting BTS we get the picture we get off before the tour starts so we didn't even have to do the tour but but thank god we bought the tickets just in case because like the bus could have started moving um but then we got it and it was great there was so much stuff I don't want to just quickly what's the word skip over tick up well tick up all words but yeah Chelsea Handler show you guys don't understand my lord with Chelsea Handler I taught tennis to her when I was younger she doesn't remember I was like I've read all your books you're my everything Chelsea lately made me want to be me to man but I didn't know you taught tennis to her when you were younger after college I was teaching tennis in shelter island to like six-year-olds to like 85-year-old men and one of my older male clients was like oh Chelsea's coming to play doubles with us today because she was dating Andre Belage at the time who had a hotel in shelter island who the heck is Andre you just said that like we all know he's a hotelier oh chic I've never said hotelier before that was iconic Chelsea fucking handler comes in and this was like during Chelsea lately and this is like my knees went weak I was like double-falting I was like so nervous it's one thing to like be with your your the person you look up to for like a minute and meet them I played crazy doubles with her that's intimate it was crazy and I I had to pretend I didn't know anything about her I was afraid from New Jersey wait I love the cheese from New Jersey like I think New Jersey gets such a bad rep but I genuinely do think some of the funniest people I've met in my like personal life are from New Jersey and at the end like I was because I was I had no idea what I wanted to do for a living I did not think I was gonna be in comedy and I was just like do you have any advice for like women in the workforce and she looks at me and she was like I got lucky and then when I met her years later I told her about it and she was like I must have been high don't that doesn't bring anything like that's horrible advice like I've never been to shelter island before she like that wasn't me you weird freak here's one thing I want to say about Chelsea handler and I'm not even trying to like suck these celebrities like assholes I'm like genuinely saying my experience I think they're in any field no matter what you do for a living I think there are so many women that say I want to like make room at the table for you or I want to like help you I want to be a mentor or whatever Chelsea handler is one of those people that I feel like says that stuff and actually means it like anytime I've ever seen her in a public setting I've never felt more safe to be with someone and it's almost in and I know she doesn't have children it's almost in a very maternal way and so like it is something to say about like I think that women who don't have children sometimes people can say like really mean things to them and I and I think that your maternal instincts can come out in so many different ways rather than just having children there is something so maternal about her that is so comforting and I feel like she genuinely means what she says like when I saw her at the brunch she literally looked at both of us and said like my two little girls like I instantly healed my inner child that was like Chelsea's out here like she's taking care of her whole family by the way she's she has so many amazing friendships in her life she also she does have a lot of people she did she's a mom to like the all of America me I'm like I called him I was like you're out like Chelsea's answering my emails now long story short she's like come to the show tonight and I was like this is a dream because I actually I don't think I've ever seen her like live and I get there and I realize oh everyone's friends with Chelsea and I walk in immediately see Tana mojo no way and we're talking about podcasting wait there are so many times where I've quoted Tana mojo and people have like looked at me and I'm like guys you need to get on the internet and the number one quote that I quote from her is whenever she remember when TJ Callad said he doesn't eat his wife out and then Tana mojo says but you eat everything else and so the amount of times I've said in my everyday life but you eat everything else my dream for her is I want her to like come out because she had a singing career at one point oh I want her to remix her most iconic things like if she made bleach and tone into a song the clubs would lose their fucking mind and I don't know why she keeps me like it's a good idea LL and like she's not and maybe there's some DJ we'll do it for but anyway that's what we were saying I continue to walk in Monica Lewinsky what Monica Lewinsky's standing at the bar I don't know you know me I don't approach people unless they make eye contact or I've known them I've met them before I don't cold call celebrities when is Monica Lewinsky gonna do like a big documentary and like I mean I think it's her time now imagine if that happened now I think she's done some form of documentaries and she has an amazing podcast however um it she needs to have like a yeah because like I couldn't imagine in today's day and age us looking at like a 25 year old girl in the White House being like she tricked the president of the United States like that was so fucked up also remember when that was the craziest thing that happened in our government whimsy and fun but I was with Gabby and Stuart and I go I don't know what came over me but I was like we need to say hi to her we swarm her and we just go Monica you're so inspirational we love you you're amazing you're everything and she was so nice and then we left but I was like so might be I attacked Monica Lewinsky I need a Ryan Murphy monocle Lewinsky show I need a real she does play Bill Clinton wait you can't play the saxophone but he does have a nice so wait I'm obsessed with that idea should we just cast it she we just you like a play in your backyard sorry we're busy we're late on the podcast today does forgot his lines you know anything about all the time that your parents performed a play last summer and it like literally I could cry when I think about it because I think it's so my parents didn't just perform a play my mom ended up writing producing directing the play God forbid the woman takes a break she's retired by the way and I'd call her and she's like where we're her saying so we're Monica Lewinsky's behind me Tana Mojus and sorry we are going in so many tangents okay yeah Tish Cyrus walks in my mom I was too nervous to say anything because again what do I have what am I going to be like what am I saying I don't know what am I saying a Tish what am I saying a Tish so I love Tish alone we must leave Tish alone also is Tish a full name or is it a part we still Tish is tired do you know Tish me so Tish's other daughter Noah was dating a guy they broke up Tish married the guy put that in your straw and drink it this morning these holes ain't loyal but I got crazy and I don't think Tish and Noah speak and I don't know if Noah speaks to Miley because I think Miley I think she went to the wedding so she was kind of like okay so then there's like this little after-party in the lobby and there's a very tall woman's in like the middle so obviously my eyes went to her Maria Sharapova Maria Sharapova now wait when Hannah was telling me like she briefly told me that she saw Maria Sharapova and I just kind of looked at her like okay and she looked back I mean she goes you walk in a room and half the ways there I'm like got it got it yep okay keep going Because my friends I guess didn't really know Maria Share Pova and I'm freaking out and they're like go talk to her go talk to her. I said I'm not just Respecting Maria Share Pova also imagine your whole life you you're watching someone and like they're your idol And then you have a chance to say something to them and it doesn't go well and like 80% of my interactions don't go well And that's that you've harmed the The image of your idol and your head forever so depressing, yeah, so they were like they literally we had I don't have like a third of my conversation of why I wasn't gonna talk to Maria Share Pova yeah, but my thing with some of these people is I will meet her when I'm supposed to meet her like I Don't know when it'll be but it's it was not that time. It was not the moment. Oh Lance Bass was also there, okay, I was and I ended up you know when you're in a conversation But like you haven't been introduced. I somehow found myself in a conversation with him But not talking to him and trying to take knowledge that I know him and he knows he's like look at this millennial bitch like obviously she's Right Lance Bass so I was just I just stayed quiet the whole time Can I tell you something because I see a lot of people online being like patients everyone's gay like not all her ex-boyfriends are gay If it doesn't clock to you Lance Bass was my favorite in in sync Okay, so yeah, actually I do have a little knowledge on what it's like to have a crush on a gay man They're word for like the gay dar of if you're attracted to them. He's gay I don't know, but I think I could like put it in numerical form if I did the appropriate research Because what are the chances at every and everyone was out here loving Justin Timberlake and I thought too straight for me Have a crush on Lance. You know who I liked who get away from tone No, but he was cute Who did you like because I would have said Lance Bass JC? You did yeah, cuz he was the underdog. I was like he's the one with a good voice and I just remember like it's just dancing around the front I'm like let JC sing JC's the real talent here, and he was kind of quiet. Yeah, and I like that in a man Yeah, yeah, I like that in a man too But I wouldn't have seen I would have seen you as a Justin Timberlake. I did like Justin Timberlake But I knew that he we weren't gonna settle down Right like I'm like I was like we're not He's not gonna each other. Yeah, he's not gonna be like How's the material where JC was husband material Same with backstreet boys like I liked What was his name not near Carter Nick Carter and it's like Nick Carter you have bad taste in men Nick Carter is bad. I can acknowledge that he's attractive But he's again, let's start calling men not marriage material Let's start calling out men's bad behavior and not saying that women pick badly Yeah Also a lot of the time the women aren't picking. It's the men that come to They lie and then they lie and then the women are told that they picked wrong and then you're six months in you're like Wait, where's your where's your personality? And he's like oh, I changed it. This is my new one and you're like what? It's very scary. It's very rattling. Anyhow since we're on like a little bit of a celebrity Like gossip session right now Timothy and Kylie. I can't get enough. I'm obsessed Oh, then like kissing at the next game. Did you see her with like her her digital camera just like Taking picks having just like being a girl out of basketball game She is me when I'm with a man at a sporting event because I'm like I don't care. I don't give a flying Fuck she has to go to a lot of games like and she's not even watching her husband play She's watching her husband watch other men play that's when you know you really love someone when like the things that they like That you don't care about You get excited to watch them be excited to like have fun That's kind of like one dozen. I are trying to pick something to watch and he gets he's really excited to watch something and I don't care Yeah, I'm I'll enjoy it because he's enjoying it and then he's like you can watch it without me and I'm like Okay, if you're dating a guy and you find his hobbies to be like Well, there's so much nuance in that When I love this is the first time in the pot ever you're like, I'm not gonna say that because there's nuance to it There's nuance. There's nuance there and I can't make up I actually can't make a blanket statement, which was what I usually like to do I'm thinking that I don't know much about wait my friend Katie had a baby literally yesterday And I went to send I was like oh, I have to send like something something to the house for her to get home It's a very weird feeling when your friend text you and is like, hey, baby's here Eagle has laid you're like, are they staying and so I'm sitting there and I'm thinking I'm like I'm like, what should I send to the house for the baby and then I realized She's a small baby my friend like I'm like, so I send her a lola blanket because I was like no Katie is the small baby Who they just made give birth? Loki, I get nervous though because it is like your friend introducing you to someone new and it's like I don't know this bitch It's also funny because it's like I've been friends with Katie for like over 10 years now and she sent me a picture of her baby and in my head I was like I know that you love him more than me now Another thing I just want to say to like about this past weekend traveling to The West Coast is just In itself like a whole thing trauma And I'm not even like saying anything. I'm just saying about traveling in general Whether you're traveling on a train a plane a bus or whatever wherever you are in your journey I don't think serving fish is ever appropriate ever In any capacity if you're on delta they're trying to push shrimp on you if you're on jet blue I literally got on a jet blue flight and they said do you want a trout Christina? I said I literally looked at this man and I said Does anyone want a trout Christina on here see that's where you mean you're different I said I've been having a boring ass day Let's see that's my drug of choice. I'm like a trout Christina in the middle of a plane where the bathroom is Very far. I just think when you're traveling in the air Inside of a tin can there's so many variables Why throw in one that we don't need and that would be fish on a plane god forbid one trout went bad It all it takes is one trout and then like in my head I'm sitting there and I was like I haven't said the word trout since the parent trap like And I couldn't stop thinking about it. You know what I was thinking about with fish This lady was telling me about how like salmon sperm facials are doing so well and everyone looks salmon sperm and sperm I'm like what about Other fishes sperm like her other fish like my com means nothing like why is it just the salmon that there come is good for People's faces. There's so many fish out there. What about a flute? What about a and like I can't say I don't know any other fish Are the salmon in the water just being like hey we're more than our sperm Like this is fucked up. You tell me swordfish doesn't have good com So we fishes are the fuck boys of the sea a swordfish. What are the fish that are like the flat ones? flute a flounder flounder. Yeah, no like stingray I feel like they have really potent sperm Anyway Speaking of celebrities can I just say something Justice for Rachel Zegler justice for Rachel Zegler. Oh, it's snow white. Yeah. Why? Well, I just feel like I we know her And she's like the nicest sweetest theater kid you've ever met in your life They were being so mean to her at the Met Gala. I was just going to say we didn't even speak about the Met Gala And honestly the only thing I can say about it is I thought a lot of people looked bad I thought more people looked bad than they looked good. I don't think No, first of all I thought the theme would it when I heard the theme I was like oh people are going to go really I wanted on this structure. I wanted literally pieces of works of art But they were just like taking inspiration from like a painting of like a woman in a white dress. Yeah, and I just thought like Or it's not you. Yeah, I just I didn't really like anyone's It's funny because people are like I think people are trying to be too cool They're trying to be like I'm just taking a hint of this like Monet photo I'm like I hate to say but the Kardashians are just so interesting to look at Sorry, they're Kardashians. They just are killed it Did you see Gigi Hadid's interview? I? Did not page Page is my biggest nightmare. Wait. Why is my face today? She's she's happy like she's obviously stressed out. She's at the Met She stops to do a favor and do someone's interview and they go Gigi, what's your favorite piece of art? Oh No, that's like whenever someone's like what's the last book you read and you're like all killer nights. Good tell she's like I'm not going down without a fight. Yeah. - She starts just kind of rambling almost. - She's like every painting I've ever seen in my life. - She starts going, "I love collecting. "Collecting art is fun. "I've looked at a lot of collect art. "There's been, like, she's killed them. "And it's the most painful watch. "But like, you cannot judge this girl "because what, well, I would've just been like Michelangelo." You know what she should've said? - She should've said my child, when my child wasn't pleased. - Yeah, that's a really good one. I would've immediately just been like the impressionist. I don't know. I don't know what have come to my head. One time I was on a date with a guy and he asked me that question and I got so nervous. - She break up with him for that question. Like, that's a setup that he wants you to fail. He's rooting against you. - Okay, I thought about it for years after this date. Like, it really fucked me up that I felt like so dumb and I came to the conclusion in my own head that he was trying to make me feel dumb. Like, he didn't actually care to talk about like art. He just wanted me to feel, I actually think he wanted me to feel poor. - Yeah, 'cause that's such a pretentious question. - Yeah, I was like, "Shut the fuck up, dude." - I don't know, I go to society6.com and I print out something. I don't know how to chest.com, probably not. - She responded to me like, "And what's your favorite female painter of the 1920s?" - I don't know, really. Like, I thought about it for years. I don't know why it annoyed me so much. - Well, I went on a podcast and they sent questions beforehand, which I like to riff. I don't even like to look at what they're gonna ask, but I saw a book and I was like, that got my attention. (laughs) - I started strangers. - Do you love it? - I love it. - Are you doing audio or, and I don't judge. - I'm reading. - I'm judging. - I'm reading. - The audio, her voice is great. - Okay, maybe I'll do like a couple of travelers. - Or you know what you can do? You can listen and read at the same time. - Okay, that sounds nice. - Yeah, 'cause you can, it flows. It flows. - I think that we should be allowed to kill one man a year. (laughs) Here's what I will say as a forewarning, if you're reading the book. If you've even had, if you've even had a small discrepancy on like where the coffee was that morning, with your partner, do not dive into this book, because I found myself looking up from the book. (laughs) Looking around, being like all murdered someone. - Because she's waspy and waspy people, like don't even talk about their feelings to their children. They're just like, you know, Winston, get out of here. She's pouring her heart and soul about her feelings. - Privilege that these men, these rich men, it's, oh, it's so blood in fury. Like your blood starts boiling, reading this. It's the audacity of these men. I can't wait to read. I actually am gonna read it today when I go to the pool. - So this podcast was like, do you, what's your favorite book turned into a movie? And I was like, oh my God. You lost me a book. - Yeah. - So then I'm googling like books to my, I was like, can't say Harry Potter. (laughs) - Can't say Harry Potter. - Can't say Harry Potter. I'm like, do I have to have read the book? 'Cause I loved Gone Girl. That was a book. - Yeah. - Everything was a book. So anyway, we're in the pod and then before that, they go, what was the last thing you googled? And I'm like, let's pull it up. I go, what's the movie that was that got turned, a book that was turned into a movie? And they were like, thank you for your time. (laughs) You know what I forget is that we're near time's best-selling authors. - Yeah, we're writers. Writers and readers are different things. Anyway, oh my God, so we've just found out that we got recordings from the live show. And by the way, this wasn't like a typical live show. It was like a full interview, which we've never done with these incredible women. So let us know if you want us to post it. We're working for the logistics if we're able to. And sorry, this episode was up late. We're really sorry. We can't have to wear a thong. We're just sipping a fucking margarita right now. Well, we are fighting for our life now. We love you Grace, you deserve it. And we'll talk to you guys later. Oh, and everyone mark your calendars June 5th. Take out your gel pens, your Sharpie, whatever you use, put it in your little journal. - And Hannah looks so good in the. - We're excited, we got approvals. - We're excited. We love you guys, bye! (upbeat music) (upbeat music)