Giggling about the garden, grandpas, and energy healers

(upbeat music) - Sup, Giggler? - Fairy, fix your Wi-Fi. - Manifest that shit. We can't be manners. (laughing) - I'm in the day just got away from me. - What up my Madison Square? I didn't even say garden, it's MS Giggler's baby. We're like, I'm a little, I'm still processing. I'm like in a shock mode, so. - Yeah, I'm very much like. - We just had an elevator ride and we just looked at each other. We were like, how's your day? (laughing) - No, like you guys, what the fuck is going on? - I have to unbutton my pants. I did literally form seconds into it. - Let it go, baby. - Yeah, what was I trying to do? Be a hero? - Everyone unzip your pants right now, actually. Everyone unzip right now. - Yeah, there were jeans and you sit down. - Every time. - And then it's in your vagina. - Yeah, every time. - It's, no, yeah. - And you have to pull the inseam. - By the way, we had like 20 minutes for sure, just sitting here totally fine. - Well, because then it started to burn. - Yeah. (laughing) Wait, is this the reason you beauty us? 'Cause you have me. 'Cause you're pencil jeans. I thought that we did this podcast. I knew your mom listened. I knew my mom listened. I knew my dad, he listens sometimes, but not always. - Yeah. - And my Nana listens. Bobby Flay listens. - I do think there was eight million of them. I'm getting text messages about tickets from people that I'm like, ah, I haven't spoken to you in 20 years. - Nana's getting DMs, but I do have to say, we planned the tour, like we underestimated it. And massins were a garden, and that was our like, if we could do massins were a garden. - You know what, I tried to keep the tour low key. I was like, you know what? We'll just do a couple shows. It won't be as big as last time. And then Hannah's like, okay, but what if and hear me out? And I said, you know what, I love it. One night, how special, how spectacular, I'm gonna do a custom daffini outfit. And then every 30 minutes, the past three days, she's like, hear me out. - This is how giggly squad works. Someone calls me and they go, how do you feel about this? And I'm like, okay. And then they go, how do we tell a page? And I say, I got you. - How do we take it to page? - I want you guys to know, after the first mass in Squared Garden, the phone with my mom. (laughs) After it's sold out, I face, I'm you. I look at you and I said, page. I know you said you don't want to do any other shows. We have to add more, like we have to. And you roll your eyes and you go, fine. Call you again, page. And you're like, now the outfit is gonna be a problem. - Well, after two shows. - Hannah knows exactly what she does to me. She said something that it would break a record of men and I said, fuck it. (laughs) - We were like, do it and then hang up. (laughs) - I felt like a man in finance. I said, like, yes. And then I just shut the fuck down. - You were like, sell the stock down. So we're working on creating the show right now. And now we're realizing, like we got to make it a mass in Squared Garden level. So we're figuring out maybe a chandelier. I don't know. - Well, actually I didn't even run this by you, but I said something to someone who's working on it with us. And I said, what if we made it action? (laughs) No, I was talking about Andrew, but I hate to say that we have a straight man on our team. But I said, what if we made it actually look like a garden? - And Taylor Swift says, okay, now we're getting, I think I'll, but it would just feel more homely. - You could what if Taylor Swift do with her wedding stuff? Like, you can act to me with this. - Is it in a back closet? Could they just bring it back out? - Well, because the vibes of MSG are very industrial. - Yeah. - It's very like, but we've played casinos before. - Right, it's like, it's cool tones to me. - I also think it's so funny that Paige, she barely made it through three shows of the first tour. And now she's sold four Madison Squared Gardens. - I'm gonna nap until then. - We're definitely on voice rest. The only time we talk is doing giggly squad or MSG. Once it hits December one, don't contact me till April. - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm hibernating. I have to get right, the amount of face masks I need. My micro-needalist texted me. She goes, you really need to come in. - Yeah, she's disappointed in you. - You're like, I'm dealing with a lot right now, but I've got a friend coming on. - My friend has got me by the balls. - No, she keeps making me work. - I also think just how happens that every hot girl in the tri-state area is coming. I'm still in shock. Like I'm processing still, like next episode, I'll be able to like speak freely on it. I did do something really stupid though last night. I got scammed. - Dude, dude. - I didn't tell Dess. I haven't told anyone. - Don't tell Dess. I won't tell Dess. - Please don't tell Dess. - I won't tell Dess. I think I was able to fix it. But, look, lately I've been a little Lucy Goosey with donations. - Yeah. - If I see a cause, I'm gonna just throw a couple dollars at it. - No, sometimes people vent mommy and I'm like, look at them. Maybe they really do have a cousin who is, and we get to stop stories. We don't know what's real or not. - Yeah. - When there's a kitten. - Oh my God. - Let's just say there's a lot of cat shelters that have been getting money over the last month. So last night I'm doing my scroll. - Yeah. - And this old man comes up, like saying something and then these kittens, and he has his own kitten shelter. - Take soccer, Instagram, what forum? - Instagram. - Okay. - So I first repost it and then he's like, please help us keep our shelter, like a float. - Don't, I don't need to read. - Don. - Don. - I now own this shelter. - I know. - Put my name on it and I'll support you. - It was just like a payment form. Like it wasn't a go fund me. It was just like-- - A link. - A link and I was like-- - In his bio. - Yeah. - Okay. - I was just like, yeah, I'm giving this man money. So I give it, I feel good about myself. I saved a shelter and I continue on my night. And then I get a DM from a gig lyric 'cause I had reposted it. And someone goes, babe, this is AI. (laughing) Someone was just putting old, an old man talking and then kittens and I said, - I need this yet. - My two favorite things in the world. - I need this. (laughing) - And to get a video specifically targeted to you. - No, they're getting good, you guys. And look, did I do my due diligence? - Absolutely not. But like, there's a lot of cat shelters. I'm like, are they showed the kittens? I'm in. - Speaking of old men. - Yeah. - I did an energy healer. I do it at my energy healer once a year for my birth child because I just feel like it. I really believe in her. She's like amazing. - It feels like once a month, though. - No, I do it once a year, right before my birthday. I used to do it once a month because I had a lot going on. (laughing) I go, clearly my energy is gone. - Did she, like, hey, I don't need to keep telling you that you have anxiety? - Yeah. - Yeah. - She was, she looked at me and she's like, you know what to do with for your anxiety. So anyway, she's like, the first 30 minutes is her like talking to you. And then the last 30 minutes is like, you close your eyes and she does like energy work on you. And I'm not kidding. - Over Zoom. - Yes, you really feel it in your body. - See my husband would be like, you're getting scared again. - Okay, listen to this. So while she's doing it, I literally feel something on my shoulder. I thought Kitty had like jumped up on the couch and like hit my shoulder to the point where I turned my head and looked. When you wake up, she asks you like, if you feel anything and of course you know me. I tell her some things but I don't tell her everything 'cause I wanna see if she says it to me. So I did feel something else in my kidneys. I said that to her and she was like, yeah, you have like a lot of energy in your kidneys. You have to, I had to like clear it out. She goes and then something else weird happened. She was like, I felt a man over you and touch your shoulder and say, tell her congratulations. I'm on the phone with Hannah this morning and I'm telling her this story. The first word's out of her mouth. She goes, oh my God, my grandpa. She goes, my grandpa came to you. - I go, it was my grandpa and she goes, not everything is about your fucking grandpa. - I go, actually, as someone who has two dead grandpas, who never brings it up, not as just holds it in like a baby. - Don't say a single word about those, man. I'm like, maybe actually someone related to me was like not everything is about Grandpa Jerry. - We just told our MSG, "Grandpa loves basketball." It's my grandpa congratulating us for sure, but and you don't need to pay us like a psychic to tell you that. - Do your grandpa's even like basketball? - I'm like, sorry, my grandpa's about teams and he knows you're important for an essential for the team and who's giving you, he's a coach. Of course he's patting on the back. - Actually, the more I talk about it, I'm like, I'm sure it was Grandpa Jerry. - I'm sure. - Well, I will book another appointment and find out, but also the freaking me out is how do you know where your kidneys are that's a weird skill? - I'm like, oh my kidney right here. - I'm a UTI veteran. I know exactly where my kidneys are. - Okay, I don't mean to embarrass myself, but like, kidneys are for flushing blood. I feel like every organ. - No, that's your liver, is for a whole lot. - I've never heard of it. - Kidneys are, your kidneys are. - You have two, you do, and you can give a kidney. - Yes, you can give a liver. - You can't give a liver, but you can eat animal liver if that's your religion. Who, the juice, they eat animal livers? - They go, what am I, a piece of liver? - No, I think you're the same. thinking of something totally different. Like chopped liver. - Yeah, what am I chopped liver? - But that's not the meat eating it, is it? - It's chopped, so they could eat it. - I don't know, I'm asking the internet. The phrase, hold on. The phrase, is that about eating it? The phrase chopped liver. - We sell it on misji, we spend 30 minutes trying to figure out what chopped liver is. - Wait, comes from mid 20th century Jewish American culture, because chopped liver was served as an inexpensive side dish, or appetizer. I'm in shock. - Every now and then, a blind squirrel finds a nut. And that's what you guys just witnessed. - I mean, shock. Well, 'cause I thought chopped liver meant like, chop it up, discard it, we don't care. - I didn't know it was like, chop it up, put it in my mouth. - But I think it's also like, oh, look at us learning things. That would be so proud of us, he loves word sangs. Because when you have a chicken, no one wants the liver part, so they were like, is it cheap, they start eating it, so it's like, what am I, like, fucking throw away? Are your kidneys okay? - My kidneys are okay, she says. There's not a lot of energy in them. And she told me when I wake up in the morning, I should go like this, for 10 seconds, and then put it on my kidneys. - And for anyone who's listening, and they're like, this sounds fucking crazy. That's how she sold MSG. She's been doing that every single night. - She was believing in myself. I was like, you truly never know what's going on in someone's home. (laughing) Like no one expects me to wake up in the morning and be like, hold on. - That's what you're so tired of doing my stuff. - Yeah. - You've all started doing something else in the morning. I saw it on TikTok and now I can't remember. It's like part of Japanese culture. They do like different things in the morning to wake themselves up. One of them is I squeezed my ears for 10 seconds. And it like, you really start swallowing. Like it helps your lymphatic. - Oh wow. - And it wakes you up. - I haven't, I've forgotten lemons every day this week. - I've forgotten my lips. I'm so upset. - It's hard to implement a totally new routine. - Yeah. - Especially when you don't have one. - Right. - Right. - Do you do anything routine? - Check what email. - Yeah. - Text you. - Right now I have 100 emails. - And you're stressed. - And 78 text messages. - And 60 of them are me. - And I'm really stressed. It's so not me. But I just for some reason I can't do it. - My favorite thing that you do over text is when you call someone freaks for no reason. - And you love when I call people freaks. - But I love when it's literally no reason. Like I'll be like, oh like, it's too busy to like go to this place right now and you'd be like freaks. (laughing) And be like, who's in there about to free? - Free. (laughing) - I like as actually freak is a really good describing word for someone who's not being okay. - Yeah, like they're not okay but it's not like to a level where you go to call the police. - Yeah, it's like, they're just freaks. - Yeah. - Okay, you're a freak. - Or if someone like says something mean about me you're like, don't worry, they're freaks. - Yeah, like. - And immediately I'm like, you're so right. That just solved everything. - Yeah. - You guys, whenever anything that happens to you, just label it, people being freaks. - Freaks. - Okay, sorry that you're a freak. There's nothing I can do about that. - It's also giving middle school bully. Like if a middle school bully called you a freak, you'd have to like leave the school. So that's why it's really powerful. - Just trying to think of like, if I could identify in my middle school bully. And it was, I think a bully. - My middle school bully of course was like, someone directly in my close friend group. (laughing) Right, like there was one girl in like the four girls that like, I was like, did she love me? Did she hate me? She would definitely do things to like, kick me out of the group and stuff. But then it was like fun. - Yeah. - One thing about it was we were not bullies. I do think people. - I didn't talk. - So it literally, I couldn't have happened. - Yeah. - I'm too busy to bully. I was like dealing with like, getting coached by my dad. - Yeah, I was in a freak at home. - Like I was very reserved in the public. - No mean girls came. That was when people started to be mean. Once mean girls aired. Which is the greatest movie of all time. But we did have to have a full gym sit down. - You did. - Yeah, they got all the girls in the gym. And they were like, stop making clicks with weird names and starting civil wars. - Oh my God. You had like a real, was it all girl school? Or did they just left the guys out? - Well, I went to a school for like two years for tennis. And I got there in eighth grade. And I knew some of the girls from my neighborhood. I found so. - Okay, you found my neighborhood. - Your accent today is like, it's MSG. You're like. - I'm from New York Bay. - New York, New York. - Go. - I wish you would consult me more on the songs. - Okay, well, you're right. - No, because I give you 100% creative freedom. - Well, actually, I used the angel. - And that was perfect. - When we announced the second one in the Kylie Jenner Angel song hit, I got hyped, like I got emotional. - I was like shaking. - I threw up. - We talked a lot about the Victoria's Secret Fashion Joe before it aired. And then when it aired, I loved it. - I love it. - Every second of it. - Oh yeah, Paige and I texted the entire time with all a trillion opinions that's end. We were like, that was fun. - I'm like, gorgeous. - I love all the performances were great. I have a hot take, we're gonna empower women. If we're gonna empower women, put their fucking Instagram handle. - Right? - Like when the girl comes up and it's a new girl and they're like, we want her to be the face. I would love to promote her. What's her fucking handle? - Yeah, so true. - How are you even supposed to find that? - So true. - And then there's girls who are huge in Europe, but we don't know about them. Like I want to follow them. - Yeah. So like, tack a bitch. - Tape McCray, I think is like, how does she move like that? The flexibility. I'm like, I-- - And strength. - Yeah. The stamina alone. I actually said to Hannah, I need to build up my stamina, but that doesn't work hard. - Okay, do you remember the last tour Paige got mad 'cause I said let's not order fast food at midnight and then have me eat it all and you fall asleep? - This tour, I'm different. - She texted me, she said, I'm working out this tour. I need to get my cardio up and I was like, what? - I always said, I have no stamina. As a person who's tired by five o'clock, how the fuck am I gonna do all these shows? - Also 'cause you don't even know I'm about to plan you having to dance routines and stuff on stage. - You know, I said no to a brand today because they said, how would you feel about singing? And I said, get the fuck out of my emails. - That was my bad. They saw my music video in the goers pages. - Yeah, I knew this was gonna happen. I go, guys, I have to draw the line somewhere and this is why I'm drawing it. - Speaking of brands. - Butter got her first campaign offer. - Yeah, she did. - Butter got to go off the Mollie Wood. - Butter got the Mollie Wood and Hollywood is not prepared. - Yeah, they were so excited and positive and they were like, we are gonna get a studio. - Look it out all day. They go, Hannah doesn't even need to be there. - Yeah. - 'Cause we have all these shots we wanna get a butter. - In eight hours shoot day, when I tell you my agent was like, we did it, butters the star and I said, I got her from a dumpster in the Bronx. She's a full feral cat. - Mm-hmm. - I would never leave Butter alone, ever. - For anyone. - For anyone. Like a fashion. - But you're scared for that person. - Not for her. - Also, all your photos are not gonna be like a sweet cat. Like, Daphne just like, Daphne gives angles. She's like, a little bit more chin, a little less chin. - Daphne was plucked from a cloud and then just put into my hand. She doesn't know struggle. She doesn't know the streets. - So I was pushing back at my agent. I was like, I don't know if that's possible. And she was like, why? And I was like, butters not an actor. She's a full, she's like a squirrel. If you let a wild squirrel in a room and try to do a photo shoot, that's what would happen. And like, I don't wanna drug her. 'Cause that's insane. - No. - And I'm like, unless if it's me taking selfies, holding butter in my own home. - Yeah. - I don't know if she's ever drugged her. - Have you ever drugged her? - No, she's actually good at travel. - Yeah, but no, I feel like a mom, every time someone brings up drugging Daphne. I'm like, no, she's not going out. - I'm not just like throwing a pill at her for any little thing that goes wrong. We're gonna work it out. - She's a little. - Well. - Weed or something. - Yeah, but she'll go out of it. - She'll go be good. - She ever catnip it up. - She does love a catnip. - But, but that gets them going. Like, she's rolling around like. - But then they like sound cow. - Yeah, then they's on cow. - So I don't think I want to put her in that situation. Like I wanted to live a regular cat life. She's not meant for that life. And I literally had to tell my agent, I was like, butters not Daphne. - Yeah. - And that's okay. - And that's okay. - And Daphne is a working cat. - She's from like a line of like performance cats, right? Like they're like show cats. - No. - No. (laughing) - She's related to the king of frances. - But there's just like, there's aristocracy around her. - She's had dinner with Karl Lagerfeld's cat. You know, like that's the vibe she gives. - Yeah. - She goes and stays in London and like at that fancy hotel where a cat lives. Like that's her vibe. - Meanwhile, like butter would be. - Butter's doing stand-up on the lower east side. - In a basement. When I brought her on a flight, they were like, man, you have to take out your cat. And I was like, first of all, I don't call my man. - Yeah. - And I was like, if I take this cat, she's, I'm never gonna see her again. And they're like, so what do you wanna do? I'm like, figure it out. We're not taking the cat out of the bag. - I'm surprised actually there's not more animals that get loose in airports. Like I've never seen someone running after their dog. Like I want to see that. - I'm surprised there aren't cats everywhere all over the airport. - And I'm never seeing like someone with like a weird emotional support animal. Like one time I want to be sitting there, and behind someone who has a bird. - Yeah, I was gonna say like a rooster. - Yeah, just so like see what it's like. - There are good TikToks of like a cat that gets free on the plane and everyone's like petting it. - I have a lot of stuff. - It's just I have a very shy cat and then once she's comfortable with you, she's the best cat in the world. Like butter is the cuddliest, sweetest baby. But she doesn't like men, she doesn't like strangers, she doesn't like, she also doesn't care about follower counts. - Honestly, she's bit you. (laughing) - She's really you. - I know, I have a little dope in my head. - When I talked to the pet psychic, Daphne's like, "Um, I'd love a bath." (laughing) I don't know if you could tell my fur was getting matted, but what are we doing here? - It's about photoshoeing three weeks and no one was even wearing that. - Oh my God, sorry. I was like, does she know she's on a diet? Yeah, I know. No, I know. - Oh, can I talk about my outfit from the MSG video? - Yes. - Because I just like loved that outfit so much. - Yeah. - Okay, my jacket was vintage from the real real. Homo de Garçon, I got it like two years ago maybe, or maybe like a year ago. I had only worn it once, that was my second time wearing it. Paired it with jeans that my chartreuse shoes that lowest loves. - The chartreuse of color or-- - And then my mom said, I was like, I need like another thing to be outfit. Like something's missing, like what am I doing? Like should I do like a turtle neck? Or like should I do whatever? And she was like, I think we add a leather glove. And so I added a leather glove. - And you just have leather gloves lying around just in case? - Yes, I'm not. (laughing) - Oh my God. - 'Cause those aren't like for like the cold, that's just pure style. (laughing) - Actually those specific leather gloves took me so long to track down because I wanted them to go up to here. - I know. - And they do, and I love them. - Yeah, I have all. - It's times to like wash dishes? - I have all types of gloves. - Wash dishes? - No. - What's your go? I haven't washed a dish since 2008. - Just like, since '08. - Yeah, since '08. - Which is a lie, I'm actually gonna need free. (laughing) - Why did I have the wear with all or the, actually the confidence to just say that? Like yeah, look at the fuck about this house. You know, like when they really came down on you for the trash, why didn't you say, then you get in the bag. Let me take you out. (laughing) - I did. - I mean, Laura, can I just say comedy-wise? Can you talk about the gloves? Comedy-wise, there's certain words that just work for comedy. And I feel bad for Gen Z's because our joke, it's fun to say like, I haven't done that since '86. Or I haven't had it whatever since, I'm getting a blow job since '92. - My dad says, I haven't had a hot meal. - Yeah, but like, you can't say like, since 2012, it doesn't hit the same. - Yeah, I know. - Well, maybe just not for us. - Oh, maybe. But like, saying like, since '94 is so funny. - I'm sure kids who are in their early 20s say like, and I haven't been happy since 2000. 'Cause that's when they were born. - Yeah. - They couldn't even say 90s, they weren't alive. - We're in the roaring 20s right now. That's why we're all partying on MSG. - It is roaring. - I do feel really happy though about MSG because when my first big stand-up shows in New York, I made all the girls go to Times Square. And everyone was like, we love you, we support you, but like, this is-- - Who had the best time at that show though? - My dad. - Yeah, tell them why. - You guys. It was the palladium. And it was my first big stand-up show in New York. My dad shows up and I'm like, this is it. He's gonna be, he's finally proud of me, like anything that I wasn't sure about. This is for, she's like, this daughter was worth it. And I put my-- - This daughter was worth it, it's the craze. - It took him 27 years to be like, I'm actually fine with the job. - Actually, I paid all fine, fine. - So put my heart and soul on the stage. It couldn't have gone better. I remember walking off stage being like, you did it, you did it. And my mom's hugging me and kissing me and I go up to my dad. And the opener was Tracy Carnazo, who he was hanging out with after the show. And I look at them and he goes, do you know? Tracy Carnazo found a spot, a parking spot on 42nd Street. Do you know how fucking incredible that is? And I was like, what? - Oh sorry, just let you know that Hannah's dad retells this story with the same awe. - He actually told this story to my dad. - He was like, have you ever found, at 7 p.m., a parking spot around the corner in Times Square? - My dad was like, I wouldn't even try. I wouldn't even try. - I was like, this is a once in a lifetime situation we witnessed. - No, that is so-- - My dad's a very dad. - Our dads are very proud of us. - Yeah, they are. - I was gonna spill the tea on my dad. Their friends are really cute. They're like all like starting to retire. So they start doing like hobbies. Like my mom is already in deep. One of my parents' friends was like, let's do like an open mic night. And we all do like random things. Like one guy's playing the guitar and another one's like reading a poem. - They're doing a variety show. - Well, variety show. - Where are they doing in someone's house? - At a restaurant. 'Cause it's like a smoke. They're just like, can we use it for three o'clock? - Yeah. - My dad did five minutes of standout. - Stop, Hannah. I need a video. - Did you want a video of it? - Yes. - So. - I go to the newsletter. - I know, but you got, my dad is the funniest person I know. - Yeah. - He really is. - And his silliness and everything is just, but he's like, why would you stand up calmly? I'm just like, why would I do that? - And I'm like, dad, do it. - Yeah. - And then in my head, I'm like, if he gets 10 minutes together, I'll bring him on the road. - Stop. Imagine if your dad was just opening for us at Madison Square Garden. - Imagine after his 10 minutes, can I talk to you for a second? I'm really disappointed. - He didn't. (laughing) - What the fuck was that? - Yeah, you knew. - You've been, why are you training so hard to do that out there and various the family? - Oh, how the tables have turned. - How the tables have turned. - Well, Gary and Dan are, should we let them sit together? I'm gonna show you. - Oh, they're gonna have to. My dad's gonna cry the whole time. My dad just texted me, are you busy? (laughing) - No dad, I have all the time in the world. (laughing) - Someone messaged me asking about what our microwave etiquette is. - I actually moved to a new apartment and I thought I was crazy, no microwave. - That seems illegal in a rented apartment. - Oh, so we don't do appliances. - I was like trying to say like, how am I supposed to make hot chocolate? - Wait, are you sure, Paige? I thought, so I thought I was crazy. I didn't call does yet. - We're gonna get back to you making hot chocolate in the microwave, but that's like a separate situation. - Let's do a walk around. - Yeah. - And I was, 'cause you know, there's a lot of, I'm like, maybe it's time to. - I need to come over. Yeah, because I feel like there's no way. - The guy comes over to be like, hey, how's everything in the house so far? And I was like, crazy question. We can't find the microwave. Is it like stored away? - Yeah. - And the guy was like, oh, we don't do microwaves. They're like, you know? They're like yoga people. And then he like looked at me like. - Oh, not the whole building, just the people. - Just the people. - Just this one. - Like the people who. And he looked at me like I was the radiation. - He looked at me like I had eight hot dogs shoved down my throat. He was like, you sick fuck. No, we're not killing each other with microwaves. - As someone who made a case idea this morning, no plate used in the microwave plate, because why would you need to plate when they give you one? - Page, page. So then he was like, you could get like a microwave oven that's like a lot of health theories. Like, I'm like, I want to put water in a cup. - Yeah. - Put it in for a minute and a half. Make it too hot, burn my tongue. - Squeeze your lemon. - Squeeze my lemon. - And go on with your device. - I think I can't put, I want to do boil water. What am I, a tradwife? - How often are you having hot chocolate? - Well, I got this like protein chocolate thing that you can like, it's a case of hot chocolate. So at night, sometimes if I need something a little sweet and I'm not eating, you're doing it with water though. - Water and then I throw some oat milk in it. - Yeah, okay. - But I hate some fucking freaky. - Hot chocolate with water. I think it's just- - If you're gonna have chocolate, you need to have some cream. - You literally need to do it with heavy cream or whole milk. - Have you ever went to Europe though and they give you hot chocolate and it's like dark chocolate and you're like- - Like in France. - Yeah, in France. - They're like, you know, it's like decadent, but you're like, even a milk chocolate with like- - And Josephine woke up really early just to go get the specific hot chocolate last time we were there. And my mom made us go to church. It was a whole thing. - I also look, I like the fake little marshmallows. I do, sorry I said it. - I like it too, but I'm a fluff person. - Okay, with her microwave etiquette. - You're obsessed with her. - No, I'm obsessed with it because I actually do think there is microwave etiquette because if you're in the kitchen and you're putting something in the microwave and there's people around and you're not busy and you don't stop it before it beeps, I find that rude. - I agree. - And like if, or or and I'm usually in the situation, everyone's sleeping, I'm up doing God knows what. I'm stopping it before it beeps. I'm not insane. - But then does get annoyed with me because he says I never let it go to zero. And I was like, 'cause it gives me anxiety. - Yeah. - When you let the alarm go off. - Like when it's going down, I feel like it's a bomb. - I feel bomb is going to be like, oh my God. The whole street is going to know. Also it's like, I don't like getting yelled at. And it literally feels like it's like-- - And it literally feels like it's my own home. - It's kind of the same. like when you're a refrigerator blanks, you're like, "Okay, actually, hold on a second." - I mean, because that was 45 seconds. - It's not like all the food is gone. - No, no, so I always, I never let it go down to zero. I have a huge phobia of it. And, and I'll also only add 30 seconds. Like, that's how I do stuff. I'm just like, everything's a 30-second increment. - Well, you know what I don't like? These new microwaves where it's like you press the button and it comes out like the door opens like a, it's not like a push open like a regular door. It's like, it like comes out. Yeah, it's like usually in the counter. I hate that because you have to press the button and then you have to wait for it to slowly open. I'm like, "Oh no, you're trying to be fancy." And I'm like, "It's been done the right way for a long time. It's not reinvent the wheel." - That's why like when they say like, "We're gonna have robots in our house." No, because I will fight you. - Like, I feel like when appliances are like making too much noise, I'm like, "What company gave you the audacity "to be that loud in my home?" - Also part of me imagine they're like renting out the apartment to me and they're like talking to each other like, "She's gonna look for a microwave." (laughing) - What if we just hid the microwave from her? What if we give her a beautiful apartment? - I give who you explained it that they don't have a microwave because they do yoga. (laughing) - Exactly. - That was your ex when you were like, "Well, they don't have it because they're doing yoga." - That was the way I said. - People do really think that it's like really bad radiation. - No, for sure. And I'm not saying everyone should buy microwaves. I'm not like standing for the big microwave community. I'm just saying in that moment, I really needed a microwave and it wasn't there. - Yeah. - And when I said it to the guy, he literally was like, "We are not trying to kill ourselves. You suicidal freak." - I had cheetos yesterday. And like, I'm not in this race with them. He was like, "You should learn how to love yourself." And I'm like, "I just, the only thing I've ever really heard is like don't stare into the microwave." But even then, I'm like, "Why?" - We've all looked at the eclipse accident like before. - Yeah, like, I mean, come on. - But microwaves also, I'm like, "Look, I'm a woman who works." - Yeah. - I do think that's why they were invented. - I can't nourish Smith this. Like, I have shit to do. I'm running around, I'm throwing stuff in. It's very convenient. And if that's how I go, that's how I go. - Speaking of me, I'm nourish Smith. I changed my like, my Lay Crucet order. Lay Crucet, sorry, I got a lot of DMs that I was a trashy, uncultured fuck. When I said Lay Crucet, they were like, pronounce the T. I was like, "I know Hannah was impressed, but we weren't." I was like, "This is a beautiful thing I've ever heard." - I'm going with pink. - Just because I'm going to do an adult thing in this pan, doesn't mean I have to actually be an adult. And like, I feel like a lot of people, like, I feel like I used to put in my head when I got my first department like, "Okay, I'm not going to be able to decorate really girly "for the rest of my life." And then I got to a point where I was like, "Yeah, if I want to, I actually will." - Well, I'm also going to challenge you on that. I think girliness does not mean it's not an adult. Thank you, and that was my own internal massage. So all my pots and pans are pink. (laughing) - It's not like kid-like to be girly. It's so easy and you need an adult woman who likes pink. - Yeah, and that's why there needs to be more pink cars. - There needs to be more pink car. I actually know one girl who has her car wrapped pink. - I feel like there'd be less accidents on the road. If you were accidents. - No, there'd be more because I would stare at her. - Remember when everyone was putting eyelashes on their car? I was like, "Dad, please!" (laughing) "Please!" That in a personalized license plate, my mom said, "You're not getting a personalized license plate." - You wanted a pedazzle. - I wanted a personalized license plate, my whole life. I didn't even know because they made me so upset that I couldn't get it. My mom was like, "No, someone's gonna stalk you. Someone's gonna find you." - It would be limited to girl. - I just wanted to be like, "I don't know, something cool." - What if we both had a car and mine said gal one and you're said gal two? - Well yours would say giggly and mine would say squad. - True. - Are we at the point, after MSG, where we have to get tattoos? - No. - No. - I feel like that's what millennials do. When something happens, they're like-- - I've never subscribed to that because as you know, I have two holes. I'm like, "I've done." I stop. - You're so emo. - I'm like, "No." - She's a wrong star. - She's a wrong star. - She was piercing my ears. - That's so 25-year-old of me to be in the East Village. - I had so much fun with you today. Should we go matching tattoos? - It's funny that that's never crossed my mind to get a tattoo. - Mine either. When a friend would say that, I'd be like, "I've never spoken to you again 'cause I can't hang." - Yeah. One, I don't have a high-paying tolerance. Two, I get so sick of everything. - I'd have to put it somewhere on my body that I actually didn't see it. - Yes. Because I'd be like, "Oh, this thing again?" - Yeah. - That's my friend Becca got something on her butt and it like, after you sit in it enough times, it just kind of fades. - Fades. - Same with like when people get it inside their mouth. But I'm always like, "I'm really turning into my mother "because I'm like, "No, it's gonna go in your blood." That has to go in your bloodstream and that can't be good. And I do enough bad things that I feel like I don't need to add to it. - Have you ever been with a guy who's like, "Tadded"? - Like, "Tadded," like what? Like, full sleeves? Yeah. - Yeah, I'm like, "Tadded." - Yeah, I'm like, "Tadded." - I'm like, "Tadded." - I'm like, "Tadded." - I'm like, "Tadded." - I'm like, "Tadded." - You're getting an uncomfortable tax later. - I'm telling you. - I'm literally running home and telling him. - I feel like 'cause he's Italian. - Exactly. - I just know that I've had guy friends who were getting Hawaiian tattoos, and they're not Hawaiian. - Right. - And no one in their life is telling them not to. - Jo has one that says, "Welcome to Hobo again." - Okay, from Hobo again, he's Italian. What do you want to do? Does he regret any? - No, I really don't think so. - My thing with men that have tattoos, is it's nice to know that they actually can sit still for a long period of time. - Like, think about how much dedication and patience you have to have. - That's a real commitment. - And they're men in the arts. - Yes. - Like, they appreciate a good design. - A good design. - A little doodle. - Yes. And so, to that, I'm like, I like that. I do feel like men with tattoos treat me like girls who love cocaine at parties. - Yeah. - Where they're like, totally respect you. Love whatever you're doing. Not for me. - Yeah. - Like, no tatted man is like approaching me. - Interesting. - A guy who has like a big like earring and like. - Like a gage. - Like a gage. - Well, that's a different approach for me. - Like, yeah, I can handle like a football. Like, oh, I got tatted a little and whatever. - Yeah. - But like a real tatted guy doesn't. - A real, yeah. - Like, I wouldn't even constitute Joe as like a real tatted guy. - No, he, he just, he's a guy who has tattoos. - On the low has tattoos. - Yeah. - And they like, stop at his risk. Actually, he said like, what if he got one on his hand? And I was like, no. - You're like, you need me. - That's where I literally draw the line. - Like, you need to go to work. - No, I think that getting it on your hands is, that's for girls. - See, you know what I would ask him? Why? - Yeah, I didn't think of that. - When I do crowd work, all I do is I'm like, why do you have a fucking phoenix on your calf? - I think it's bored. - We did have like 10 minutes in our last live show making fun of men with tattoos on their calves. - Yeah, well, because that is a different. - I love landing in a certain city. And you just look around and it's like, some cities are full of cav tatted men. - Yes. - And for some reason, they're the biggest calves you've ever seen in your life. Like, it is a wide canvas. - Yeah, and it's very religious. - And it's also, it's also shorts all year round. - Yes. - They're the kind of people where they're like-- - Cargo shorts. - Yeah, they're like, the cold has nothing to do. - They love a new balance. - But they're not runners. They would never run. - No, no, no, no. - They're not even working out. - How they have those calves? We don't know. - Well, they're carrying a lot of torso. They're sturdy. And they always have a hat. And they put sunglasses on top of that. - Yeah. And underneath the hat, there is a buzz cut. But it's patchy because they are bolting a little. But it's like they have a buzz cut so you don't really know. - Yeah, but it's not bolting in like a way that makes sense. - Speaking of bolting, actually, because I'm out my reality TV game, I just started Real Housewives of Potomac. There's a new housewife. And she gets confronted by another housewife. And the housewife says, hey, I just want to let you know, I think your husband's on dating apps. And everyone's like, there's no way they've been married for 20 years. This new housewife goes home and says, hey, are you on a dating app? And he goes, yeah, I am. And she's like, okay, no one, they show the picture of this man. Now, not shaming anyone. - His hair was, he wasn't bald. No, he was not bald. But his hair was thinning and bald just here. - Reverse my walk. [BLANK_AUDIO] - There's no way, there's no way this man thought, yeah, I'm gonna get so many girls on this day, it's Potomac is awesome. - He admitted he was like trying to cheat on her? - Yeah, on camera. - Yeah, and then she goes, - He was like, "Yeah, what are you gonna do about this?" And she goes, "Do you think you can delete it?" And he's like, "Yeah, I know it." And she's like, "I'm gonna go on the best season of that bear." - He's like, "I'll see you haven't got much clicks." - People are making a big enough deal about it on social. It's the second episode of Potomac. I think they only have two episodes at this season. - Well, Shada all started. - She's Al Bryant, who is so supportive of the Gaglic Squad. She just texted me, and she's that girl. - For now, on an ultimate girl's trip. - How, it's something happened with Sonia? Or is that the other show? - That's the other show. - Okay, I don't know that other show. - So I don't have threads, but it won't stop showing up on my Instagram. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - And like, advertised way, so I only see half of what's happening. - Of what's happening, so be like, "Can't believe it's Sonia." And then I'm like, "Oh, wait for page six, why?" 'Cause I can't, like, yeah. - No, they're on a different show. I think it's on the e. I haven't even seen-- - Yeah. - Actually I haven't even seen it advertised. - Yeah. And ladies of London, I still have to put the VPN in. How's that going? - You know, I have not caught up. - Did you see the next championship rings? - No, I didn't. - A gay man designed it for sure. It's this huge diamonds, and it opens up to see the mess and square red. - You go ahead and picture in it? - Yeah. - Yeah. - And this is-- - They have lockets. - They have lockets. And they're showing them off to each other. - I love the New York things, but don't get me started on their bedazzles t-shirts. - You're still not over it. - No, I'm still not over it because that should have been a legal leave, something for the world. - But that's where you're coming for it for us. - If I was one of their wives, I'd be like, why is your diamond ring bearer than mine? - Yeah, oh yeah, I'd demand an upgrade. - Well, I just hiccuped and swallowed at the same time, and I think I just saw God. - Well, everything's been figured out. (laughing) - No, no, no, no, no. - An MSG announcement day? (laughing) - Stop. - Should you hold your breath. - Hold your breath. We need you to get scared. - There you go, you got it. - I'm fighting for my wife. - Can you hold her up? - No. (laughing) - The universe is telling me to stop. You tell the story. (laughing) - 'Cause you want to know what? People are gonna tune in who have never heard of us and be like, "Who are these fucking, "for lack of a better word, Shane? "4." - It's sold out four times MSG, and it's gonna be like, "She legit hiccuped "during the whole podcast. "The only thing she had to do is talk." (laughing) - You know, that's giggly squad. Follow your dreams. (laughing) - If we could do it, you can do it. (laughing) - No, mental health moment? - No one knows what they're doing, you guys. - Truly not a soul. - We've met so many in parentheses, not parentheses, and quotations have gone at people. I'm like, "How'd you get here?" - Yeah. - How'd you get here? - Actually, this morning I was talking about an important person and they said to Hannah, "You better not fucking look at me sideways." (laughing) - No one knows what they're doing. - Everyone's just a scared little kid. - Power is a made up thing. I'll kill you. Like I don't care. - Everyone is thinking and worried about themselves all the time. - All the time. - And the only people who have like, accomplished stuff is just 'cause they, like, A, believed in themselves, even if they shouldn't, or B, like, can't handle failure. - You know what I was thinking about? And this is like maybe like a little dark, but like, do you think it's come across the algorithm of like, manosphere people that like, you and I are doing MSG for "Nights in a Row" because I feel like they would see that, like as us spewing man hate in an arena. - This is super empowering because MSG is like, a real boys club. - Yeah. - Besides Amy Schumer, it's only been male comics that have done MSG. - Yeah. - And male podcasts. I believe. - Maybe there's a murder plot. - We might not make it so then, because Hannah's crying. - Before I black out, I'm so proud. - Julie, it feels like you're under water. Like, it feels like you're grasping for it. You're not just hiccuping, you're literally grasping for air. You can't even hiccup like a normal person. (laughing) - Why, I love that universe is like, we're gonna let you sell out for MSG's, but we're not gonna let you get through this podcast. - I actually can't wait to go home later and watch the next five episodes of "Love is Blind." - The best thing about MSG is it's like, the ultimate women taking up space. - Yeah. - And it's a shout out to also all the other women in comedy who have done huge things and are gonna do huge things. But because you're a woman, they can write it off. Where it's like, MSG, it doesn't matter where you're from, what you do, you're like, that's the biggest coolest venue in the world. - Somebody said-- - Put some respect on women's names. - Somebody said something to my parents of like, well, what do they even talk about? How are they doing MSG? What is their podcast even about? - And my dad goes, the number one show on TV, my entire life was sign felt. And do you wanna know how they described it? It was a show about nothing. - And I was like, oh my God. I'm like, you didn't need to clap back at the mailman. - That's hard. - But my dad was like, live my mom and dad were livid at the question. Like, what do they do? How dare you? Now you'll never know. - Well guys, we'll tell my dad like, she's kind of like, raunchy, right? But then they'll watch a mail comedy special. I'll turn on a mail comedy special just to see what the guys are up to. - Yeah. And they're doing the first 15 minutes about sex. And I'm like, if I did that, it's like, women only talk about sex. - Yeah, I literally said to my mom the other day, I was like, wait, they said that my podcast is dirty. And she was like, yeah, they said that like, during the live show, sometimes you guys are dirty. And they go, I'm a 35 year old woman. If I want to talk about my vagina, I'm going to talk about that. - Talk about your vagina is not dirty, it's clinical. - Yeah. - So you're raising awareness about you T.I.'s endometriosis and men who can't give you orgasms. - Yeah, like science. - I'm going to get into perimenopause in a minute. - I can't wait to be the face of perimenopause. - To hit my goddamn algorithm. The girls are really dealing with something. I have a couple years until I have to deal with that. - I actually recently called a guy perimenopausal. - Yeah, definitely had no idea. - Oh, speaking of men, Tinks brought up on a TikTok about slow burns. Watch like this is the last episode people listen to giggly squawks. They're like, I couldn't get through Hannah with the hiccuping. That was the last straw for me. People being like, I need to have an instant spark versus you look at me with the sadness. You looked at me when I first couldn't smile where you're like, you love me, but you feel bad. - You're annoying me. You look at me like, how much longer do I have to deal with this shit? Stay with me till last. - Okay. - So do you prefer having a spark, instant spark, or slow burn? - Maybe unpopular, I can't slow burn. Because in my head, if I'm slow burning, that just means like, I've tricked myself into wanting to fuck you and I actually never did. - I so agree with you. - Right? I 100% agree with you, 'cause the biggest insult I ever got from this one guy who was a menace. - Uh huh. - Who I was really into, thought he was really into me. He kept telling me, I love us, 'cause it's such a slow burn. And I was like-- - And he wanted a boyfriend. - And he actually probably had one. - I wasn't feeling a slow burn. - He kept complimenting me like, I've always had big sparks with girls and with you, it's a slow burn. And I was like, first of all, I'm trying to spark this up. Like this is me trying hard with the match. And he was like, I love our slowness. - No, fuck that. I feel like you have to trust your gut and your gut knows. Your gut knows even when you meet a random person in the first five seconds, if that person gives good energy or not, it's just you're ignoring your gut. So if I don't have sex with you, that's why I like the love is blind. She'll really like throws me for a loop. Because like, I'm like, nope, sorry, maybe I'm too vain, but like, I gotta see ya. - Yeah. - Like, and if I don't feel like you have like a swag, which I feel like makes me such a millennial saying that. But like even the first 15 seconds, if I don't think about what it would be like having sex with you, then we're probably never gonna have sex. - 100%. 100%. Also, with like the slow burn concept, it's a little bit like, you know, they're like, I didn't realize. - It feels a little like coercion. - It's giving settling. - Yeah, it's just, it's giving branded for settling. - Well, I also feel like a lot of people say like, a great relationship starts from a friendship. - No. - And I actually don't think so. - I've tried to date guy friends and I've been like, oh, I missed it. And then I'm like, no, there's a reason when I first saw them. - Yeah. - I put them in the friend zone. - Yeah. - Cause they're my friends. - And I don't mean like, oh, I find that person's humor similar to mine and we can be friends. like. Like, you can know that person, they can be in your friend group, but you don't really talk to them. Like I can't be with someone that I, like you've been my best friend for five. Like I did it one time and I was like, I actually just realized that I was too lazy to like go out and find someone else and you were right there. - Also hot take, I feel like whatever, noise you about them. Like in the very beginning is what you break up with them for. So in the very beginning you were like, now he's too short or something. I don't care what he becomes funny. He's charming. He becomes successful. I don't care. At one point you're going to be like, this guy's so fucking short. - Yeah. - You're going to have eight kids with him and be like, look at the short fucking menace that I married. - And I don't mean to body shame, man. - Yeah. - No, I totally got it. - Because short men deserve to have rights. - In some things. - But like not my, you don't have a right to me. - Well, not, yeah, not in your life. Not in your households. - You can have a right. - Not in your aura. - No, I got it. - Voting, yes. - Anyway, midterms are coming up, make sure you vote. - Actually, there's a lot of things on my TikTok being like, women shouldn't vote. And it's actually getting like really scary. - You're all grown up in my eye. - It freaks me out sometimes. - Well, sometimes I think you go on the dark side to research. - Sometimes. - Well, you know what? I do watch a lot of police videos. - Oh, that'll get you. - Well, because I want to see the body came and then I want to see. Actually, with the other person was filming because I think you went in their home illegally. I actually don't think you had a warrant. I'm on a lot of cop TikTok. I don't know why. - Really? - Yeah. It's crazy, but it's actually the best reality TV. Like sometimes you're rooting for like, oh my God, get him. He's a manist. But then other times you're like, no, you didn't even read his Miranda rights. So this is illegal, illegal. And then I open the comments. And it's like, I hope you sued. So I'm actually gonna check to see where we are 'cause we just announced the fourth MSG. Let's see if he has-- - It goes in the queue every once in a while to like see what the user experience is. - I just had to rejoin the queue. I had to wait four to five minutes to get tickets. - And who you are. - I feel like I'm hiding in the crowd. - By the way, my dad didn't pick up the phone. My mom said she was busy at like, mage ogre something. Okay, it's not loading, but we are gonna release more tickets. - On Friday. - On Friday. And there are tickets available as of now for the Sunday. And we love you guys so so much. We can't believe that we're experiencing this with you and the Google community is the best community in the whole world. We love you. Oh, and LA and Ireland are on sale now. See you later. Bye. (upbeat music)