Giggling about swans, sleepovers, and school dances

(upbeat music) - Sup, Giggler? - Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. - Manifest, I should be camping in it. (laughing) - Get in here. - I'm in the day, just got away from me. - Did you press record? - Yep. - Okay, Grace isn't here right now, so we have to triple check everything, 'cause if we mess up, she's gonna go so scared right now. Hello, my, oh my God, people. I love when they send me stuff. My grilled cheese gigglers, let's go. - I like someone. I just wanna do a PSA really quickly before we get into anything. - Yes. - There is, in fact, multiple registry apps. - Yeah, we're getting tagged up the wazoo. - We've got wishful, wishful. We've got giftful. We've got, I mean, I've never been inundated in my DMs more over a topic. - Also, people were like, Amazon wishlist ever heard of it? Pager Sorbo? - No, I'm literally, I was like, I have a great idea. - Your face is on the top of it. (laughing) - Also, can we bring back up the wazoo? - I wasn't aware that it left. (laughing) - I got my hair dyed again today, but. - Oh, it's not the color we agreed upon. - Yeah, I'm no better than a man, because I didn't notice. - Well, I just got like my roots, but. - Honey, we want fire engine. - So, this sounds so bougie, and sorry, I have my visa line in. Let me know if I should take it out. But, I have hair extensions that my glam team uses. I feel like I'm Erica Jane right now. And they basically were like, if you dye your hair at a different red, we can't use your extensions. And they were like, if you dye your hair, you have to dye your extensions too. - Okay. - And I was like, this is too much admin for me. So then I obviously like, forgot to bring extensions. And then I was like, just fucking do it normally. But I go to this place, I sit down, and what I always do is I show them the formula on my phone. I've never had an issue. - The formula of the color? - Yeah. - Okay. - How did you get that? - My girl gave it to me. I was like, if you're in a pinch, just, and it honestly looks like a really hard algebra. - Yeah. - Women in STEM, all of them. - Like the ammonium-fi glycolyte, like, yeah. - Yeah, and then it's like 78 divided by times pi. - Yeah. - Look at it, then I'm gonna take a screenshot. I just like, got it, and I'm like, I don't think you did. - I would trust a hair stylist to do open heart surgery on me. Like, truly. - I don't know what's in the ether with me, but this person looks at it and they go, this doesn't make sense. And I'm like, and how, every time I deal with someone, it's the first time on a-- - And you will always have a thing. - And I go, I'm not trying to start drama, but I'm like, I have showed this to like, maybe like, nine different hair stylist and they've all like been like, yes, and they did it. And the guy was like, I'll be right back. Gone for 30 minutes. Comes back, he's like, you pressed highlights. Highlights takes two hours, but you actually want a single process, and that doesn't take that long. So you booked the wrong appointment. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I didn't, I didn't know what to say. I didn't, I'm so sorry. So he's like, over me at this point. And I'm like, he's going back and forth to me. He's like, do you think it's a B instead of a C? And I was like, that's above my pay grade. Like, I'm not gonna, I also'm afraid if you change one thing, like, I'm gonna come out blue. And then I'm sitting there, being like, think he's going to kill me. Like, I found myself in this situation again. And he was like, is it okay if I don't use red kin? And I was like, I think someone didn't use red kin before and it'll be okay. He goes, okay, he leaves. And I'm like, I'm in my Botox appointment all over again. Like, the universe puts you right in the same place. Granted, it came out great, but I'm like, I didn't learn anything. - Nothing. - Well, I was just going to say, and how'd you find this place, Hannah? - You know, it's actually a very well established place, but I mean, I did like randomly book him. That was on me, that was on me. And it was like a last second booking. - You know, you don't have any like adrenaline seeking parts of your personality, but sometimes you're like too decisive. Like, you're like, no, I'll do it right now actually. - Oh, I'm a doer, but the problem is I've never done anything weeks in advance. Like, I literally woke up and I was like, I have to shoot something on Friday. It's Wednesday. Tomorrow I have to die in my hair. Book an af. (both laughing) - You know, I could probably do it for you one time. - I mean, I chose to do with my spray tan. I'll trust you with my hair. - No, like, I feel like if I watched three tutorials on YouTube got some boxed hair dye. - The way you said tutorial, just scratch my brain, say it again. - Tutorial. - Tutorial. Shout out to supporting another girl's girl. - Yeah. - Who's a girl I sent you who looks so fucking good? - Daisy and Gerjones. - She has this new hair color. They're calling strawberry brunette that I think is the direction I'm gonna go. 'Cause one thing about us, if you give it a brand, I'll do it. So strawberry brunette, you guys look at it. It's cute for full. - The giggle should know that on Friday night, we're having a slumbie party. No, we're having an adult slumber party. - Can I say the cutest thing? And like, I don't like to address that you have a boyfriend. I don't want to expose his life on this podcast. But I just have to say, one of your first arguments was that you went to his house and he didn't have snacks. And you texted me and you were like, hey, like everything's been great with him, but there's this one thing that's like really freaky me out. - No freaking me out. - Now I come from a non-snack family. Like people come over to my house and they're like, you got anything like for in-between meals and we're like, no, there's pasta tonight. - Yeah. - So you go to his house and you're like, where's the snacks? And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. And you trained him to make sure that when anyone walks in the house, there's snacks available for them and all different types of snacks for all types of the day. - Different walks of life may come into my home. God forbid I've got a gluten-free girl who's looking for a meal. I need to have something to offer her. - Mm-hmm. God forbid I need some protein beef jerky to go to sleep at night. - And if we're just leaving it up to Joe, you'll get mixed nuts and a water bottle. - So I'm gonna cry last night, he texts the group chat, hey, hand, what snacks do you like? He literally was like, hand is coming over. Shit, I don't have snacks. She's gonna be mad if I know of the right snacks. I'm like, page, bully, do you so? - So hard. It makes them better people. - But I also loved it 'cause it seemed like he was asking for my writer. - Yeah. - He's like, what do you want in your bedroom? Like, Kim DeSorbeau would have a forever shape. But I, let's not try to compete with that. - Well, I would never try and compete with Kim DeSorbeau, but I will say for you as my guest, I did book you a massage for the moment you land. - You guys were, were like a married couple that hasn't seen each other in a while. - She was. - So I, obviously, I'm getting like my weekly massage that I love and she comes to my home and she walks in and I go, we're gonna do something a little different today. And she was like, what's going on? And I said, I'm not having any pain, but I feel like when I watch myself talk. - I don't know. (laughing) - That's sad. That's so sad. - Okay, so she walks in and I'm like, I feel like my jaw is like going to one side, but I don't have like, Kim DeSorbeau, I don't have any pain. - I guess like you, I'm like, it's not. - So whatever, she's doing the massage. She puts gloves on. Like, she went inside my mouth. Hannah, I had an out of body experience. And then when she did a full head massage neck, 'cause she was like, I feel like your neck is really tight and that's like coming up to your jaw, whatever. When we're done, before I even open my eyes, she goes, I can't wait to see what your face looks like. Like, sit up. And she never says that. Usually she's like, and slowly get up, like, add in your own time, like, no rush, whatever. She goes, sit up, I need to see your face. I sit up, she goes, oh my god, go look in the mirror. Go look in the mirror. So if I'm looking a little more symmetrical today. - Well, your eye got popped up. - Well, I said, I do have like small orbital bone issues. And she was like, let me look at you. I actually stood in front of her naked, 'cause she was like, I wanna see where your body just naturally falls. - She's like, this nipples over here. This toe's over there. You love, but you, that's what you're like, I look at myself, naked in the mirror all the time. Someone else has to. - You love me. - Let me know your calculations, 'cause I'll tell you mine, for sure. So then she said, she's a giggler, obviously. And she was like, I really, really wish I could get my hands on Hannah. And I'm like, well, she's truly the tightest person I know. I go, she can't touch her toes. She goes, she can't touch her. I go, her hips are a mess, such. I go, actually, she's coming on Friday night to spend the night, do you have any time available? And she was like, I will make myself available. For Hannah, I gotta get in her mouth. And I was like, 'cause she was like her jaw tension, like I can see it when she talks. - See, I love witchy people who are like, yeah, I can see from looking at you. Like, you can't handle cheese. - Speaking of witchy people, I begged Morgan Stewart to give me her, - Psychic? - Psychic. She texted me and she was like, under no circumstances. Can you give this name to this is my near and dear? I feel like I'm holding the secrets of the world. Well LA psychics are like next level like Salem and LA are like similar similar auras. Yeah So anyway, I have an email to him back yet because I'm like nervous. I am like wait, what have you told me something and I'm just like hmm. No, thank you You love the chase of a new psychic. I love someone with fresh eyes on my future I need fresh eyes. Let's start from scratch. Wait, I have something so sad to say. Oh, no Sweet sweet kitty had to go for her like check up for whatever like her one year whatever and so we take her to the vet and the vet was like okay, she's really obese like extraordinarily obese and I'm like okay, like well, what are we talking here? She was like not only does she need to lose 4 to 5 pounds, but we're gonna put her on a prescription food because Whatever you're doing at home. It's not working. Yeah, just look at kitty and kitty just looks at me and I'm like you're a model No, but do they understand that the more plump she is the cuter she is I'm like, okay, she was fatter two years ago, and you didn't have to put her on prescription food And so I had to order it and it comes in like two days. Oh, so you're like, sorry everyone's on a ZMP nowadays. God forbid No, I don't live here. I'm like does her stomach touch the floor when she walks. Yeah, but she likes that No, it doesn't but like it's close to it See, I thought she would have lost weight from like playing with the dog and like being mean to the dog like that burns calories She lays down and hits the dog like she's no like when I say I birthed to this cat I birthed this cat so much that like when we are on our way to like photo shoots or any job that she's in She yells in the car like she knows she's going to work, but the minute we step on set Perfect angel. She's a pleasure to work with. She's a pleasure to work. Do you know what she needs? I'm matching walking pad that you guys can walk in the morning, wake your calls Call your mom Jinger is coffee. No, I think I do. I think I need to get her moving more, but like we play Every day like children, but she'll only run for like seven minutes max. She's like, okay I do think some cats naturally have that body type and like let's be honest. You don't see like Tiny skinny ragdolls. They're relax. They're big And like the boys the boys are big like if you're getting a boy ragdoll, that's a big cat Yeah, I mean, I think she's perfect same I'm so sorry that did she hear what they were saying about she did right in front of her She can hurt you. Yeah, and like she loves looking in the mirror And I haven't seen her look in the mirror in two days. I was like some people's faces look better around her Yeah, did I ever tell you like the time I caught her just like staring at the mirror like in the middle of the night Make it Yeah, we got it like I'm like now. I know how people feel around me. It's enough Like you make everything about yourself. Speaking of people And sexiness. Yeah, I don't know if it's just like the vibe or culture right now, but like it feels toned of And unnecessary to have a people's sexiest man right now Yes, and this is the type of combo that I wanted to have on giggly squad because what man? Are they even gonna pick? I've never once been like you know we need to list a bunch of sexy men. I feel like no man's sexy right now unless you're speaking up for women's wrongs and rights Is they pick right now like is now the time? I think they like nominated like I just feel like it's not the right time In our society. Yeah to be worried about who's the sexiest man right now. I'd say none of them No one's sexy until Women feel like we can walk down the street at night. Did you see that video where it was like a guy went around being like if you had Didn't have to worry about your safety at all from men. What would you do when every woman was like go for a walk Walk on the west side highway once No, like they never have to think about being kidnapped some girl also did a Very it's not funny, but just interesting she was like imagine if there's a group chat where someone said free penis Yeah, the girls would be like Ew did you see the video where it was like a bachelor at party and they were like we ran into a guy who was really drunk and We charged his phone figured out where he was living and like made sure he was home Yeah, it's really it's a really scary scary world specifically for women That's why that's why podcasts like giggly squad and other female lead podcasts are really so important because At the end of the day the community with each other It's longevity. It's good for your soul like it's like these men truly There's so much nuance in the world that just goes right over their head. So it's like you can't connect with a man ever on everything Do you can't you have to like pick your battles and pick your things because it's never gonna be It's just never gonna be the same the way you talk to your girlfriends and I think what I love about comedy is that You can get your point across in such a more palatable way where like if someone just goes on a rant online people like I'm not listening to that But if you say something so funny that leaves you thinking like that's the genius behind it But that's also like giggly squad. Oh, we do talk about mental health But we don't call ourselves a mental health pod so no one calls it that because that would be like intense We're like But we're sending subliminal messages. I mean, I do say mental health moment, which is pretty in your face But um, our my favorite woman of stem of the week goes to avidal ash who's a comedian who had the funniest Bit that I posted on my Instagram and she's like we should replace the word rapist with rapers to sound more like murder or killer Instead of like artist philanthropist florist Oh my god, I never thought of that She's like because rape is about power. Yeah. Oh, that is a good one It's my entire feed right now. So I'm just we're in The dark times. But yeah, vote people's sexiest men of the year award Well, I think what's even scarier is that the younger generation of men are scarier than even our generation of men And I thought they couldn't get scared. I thought after Milan everyone's gonna be like girls are cool I thought from Milan the guys are gonna be like she's awesome. I don't know I thought maybe when we were dominating the job market making 10 times more what men are making And we've only been able to truly be in the workforce for like 30 40 years that they'd be like oh Maybe they are equal to us and like now that we're getting close to like baby making age which I love how we had to be 34 to like be like should we have a baby? I just started thinking about it yesterday. I'm like Wait, what about that mother thing everyone's talking about I'm across my desk And no one asked me about it You cannot pressure someone to have a baby someone try to pressure you to have a baby I mean, I feel like a lot of people have tried to like put me in a box. I feel like we've both We've dated different kinds of guys. I've dated more outwardly evil You've dated evil that you were like wait a minute I've dated more I think more outwardly charming Yes, but less wealthy Well, and you pick your battles, you know I hated my life at a five star dinner You hated your life on someone's couch, but I was laughing but same I'm in this interesting place, which I did talk about I don't know if it was in my stand-up special, but I was just saying like so many girls get mad that after you get married People are like are you gonna have a baby you're gonna have a baby? Yeah And I was like that's so annoying the second you get married everyone thinks you're just like a baby maker. Yeah, but then like No one's asked me to the point that I'm like I don't know maybe everyone's just like super respectful nowadays But I don't think so. I see tiktok's people ask other people about babies I'm like why not look capable. Yeah, what do you think that is because maybe I like I'm so I'm such a feminist that they're like I I know I'll offend her if I ask her about babies I also feel like that so like male coded and has like changed the meaning of feminist It's like okay being a feminist doesn't mean you're not married and have children like It's that's just very good point very good point It's like them trying to weaponize the word feminist. It's like look. They don't even want to bring life into the world It's like I think the idea of being a mother is just evolving. Well, it's also like No, I don't want to have a daughter and now in 20 years have to think about her going to her college to Further her education and your dumbass son attacks her Like funny that no one has to educate girls not to assault boys I don't know, but like at what age as a parent do you stop calling the other kids parents? never Because I feel like No one I'll call her mom like I feel like I am gonna be such a like and I'll talk to his parents Bye, but like even when they're in college I'm like, I'm showing up at their house. - This is like old school Brooklyn story, but my dad was getting beat up by this older girl at Brooklyn Tech, who was like huge. Like she went through puberty already. My dad was still skinny. And he was like scared to go to school 'cause this girl was beating his ass. And my grandpa, it was like back then where you're like, what block does she live on? And he was like, six street. And he's like, we're going, brings my dad. It goes into the person's house. Hey, your daughter's beating the shit out of my son. And I'm going to need you to stop. - Oh, my God. - And she would like look at him in the window of the classroom and be like, you after school. Don't, he was really, but then he said that summer, he like worked out and like went through puberty and like showed up. And he was like, busy and she was like, oh, your dad. And he was like, I think she had a crush on me. I'm like, whatever, whatever you do. And then I saw an old TikTok that I had posted, you know, like you just forget your old personalities. - Yeah. - I've reinvented so many times, I like it can't. - Do you remember when you first heard that if you kick a guy in the balls, like it hurts him? And you were like, okay, that's the answer to all my problems. - Yeah, probably like middle school was the first time I realized that like they cry if they get kicked in the balls. - So I think I was like six or seven. And I think I told this like two or three years ago on the pod, but my dad was like blocking me from like where I wanted to go. Like I was clearly being crazy and like wanting to go so where my dad was like, you can't go there. And I just was like, okay, don't make me do it. And I just fucking kick him in the nuts. And he falls down and my mom had to give me like a whole speech about how you can't just go around kicking guys in the nuts. And I like could not comprehend it. I'm like, then why is he have nuts? - I feel like you still can't comprehend it. - If I can't kick them, why is he have a nut? - Why are they swinging right in front of my face? 'Cause I will karate chop. - Why are they so like tender and they're not inside their bodies? - The whole ball thing is unnecessary. - I feel like God has not made us mothers yet because-- - Let's bring God into this. - No, let's bring them into it because sometimes he's the only answer. I feel like we are not mothers yet because the moment, not even the moment I give birth, the moment I get pregnant, I'm scared for every man around me because you can't bring life into this world. What is your purpose? - Like, you're gonna tell me anything when I just made breast milk? I just made milk from my body. I'm not even a cow, I'm not a goat. Like, and I can sustain life. You know, it's crazy to think about is anyone living off of breast milk, like, no, that's disgusting as an adult. - That's what I was gonna say. - I was gonna say, the best episodes are really early morning or at night and you guys were getting a night party tonight. It's a night party. Paige had a full day of shooting. - How long do you think the longest woman has gone? - Breastfeeding. - I think that's a TLC show and it's like 10 years or something crazy. - That's crazy. - Oh my God. You guys, I have so much homework for you, but I'm excited. Okay, you have to watch the swan on Hulu. - Watch that. You have to watch the widower that just came out on Netflix today and you have to watch a killer story also on Hulu. Those are three documentaries must watch. - I think I have a period piece that just came out on Netflix so I'm gonna be busy. - You're gonna be out for like three weeks. Notes on the swan. - Now, I watched it with Josephine who does not remember the show. So if you don't remember when it was on, it's certainly not gonna hit the way it will for millennials. I distinctly remember watching this show with my grandma and being fucking hyped. - It was crazy. That was popcorn TV. - In the context of what the show was supposed to be, I don't think it was like a bad idea. Like I understand the idea. I totally get why women heard this. It's also crazy, like how time just things change. Like everyone heard about it on the radio. - No, I know. - You know, like I just, I was like, I heard that and I was like, oh my God. I mean, we feel so like nostalgic. - But you're right. It was pitched to them as a life transformation. - Yes, it was. - It was. - Yeah, like inner work and then it's going to show and we're gonna do some procedures that just like up your confidence a little. When in reality, it was, they were like, and now there's a bathing suit competition part. - Now they literally lied to them and was like, you're doing a pageant. They didn't know they were doing that. Then they have to compete against each other. - They couldn't talk to their families for six months. - They couldn't talk to their families. And it's all just big network money. The network was like, that's not interested to hear these people like talk what the problems are, like learn style or whatever. They're like, let's see who can be hotter and let's fucking change their faces and bodies as much as we can. - And half the girls saw themselves for the first time and were like, what the fuck is this? 'Cause they wouldn't let them look in the mirror. - You know what I mean? Me sick because I'm that girl that would have been in the chair and been like, okay. And like not spoken up, well, that's a lot of them said. They made everyone get veneers, which. - Old school veneers too. - Look, as someone who like always goes back and forth that like, should I get a boob job? Do I want a boob job? Like blah, blah, blah. One thing I've never, and these people's veneers looked insane. - Not fitting in their mouths, falling out years later. - Also, when you have dental problems, nothing more painful. Like to have to go to the dentist time after time because they gave you these fuck-ass veneers, I would have literally, I would have been livid. - And because of the filming schedule, they basically were like, you have 10 hours with each girl to do as much as you can. And the girls just went under. One girl almost didn't make it out, but there was this one girl who would happen to be older that said, don't touch my nose. - Yeah. - And they were like, you're not gonna make it for her in the competition. She goes, "Angle of fuck, you're not touching my nose." And she looked beautiful, but that's just, like if I did reality TV now, I'd be like, I'm not gonna involve in that. - No, it's really, it just like prays on your insecurity. It's like a manipulative boyfriend, 'cause it's like everything you thought in your head, you're like, oh, everyone does notice it. And it's like, no, they just pinpointed what you were insecure about and exploited it. It's like, if I had a neck all. - We other producers do not care about your life after. They literally just care. Also, when they would get the reactions, they'd stop and be like, do it again, that wasn't enough. Do it again, that wasn't enough. - When I heard that, I was like, wait, that's crazy, because they were like that ending scene, they would film for hours. - But a lot of the girls were like, the plastic surgery wasn't even the worst part, even though their boobs popped and their teeth fell out and like, their lips were fucking contorted, 'cause that one guy had some special procedure he was doing, like, whatever, but they were like, it was the mental assault of the reality TV being locked in. - Well, I mean, dare I say, we went through something very similar this year, where we both were like, what if we just got a little Botox? Everyone's doing it. It's gonna help this, we're gonna look like this, we're gonna feel like this. And then the minute we did it, we were like, no, I loved my old face, I loved my old face. Even now, sometimes when I'm eating something that's really chewy, I feel like my chin muscle cramps up. - I feel like I subconsciously put that in here. I witch do. - I can't wait for you to get your massage. Like, am I gonna cry during it? - Joe asked the same thing. - No, 'cause there's always take talks of people being like, hey, can you just touch this part? (screams) - What the hell? I was like, no, you're not gonna cry during it. - Also, I've at your feet, I have nothing left here. - What does that mean? - Like, 'cause I haven't been able to like, use that muscle. - Yeah. - It's like, disappear. But it's still, I didn't get to the root of whatever the issue was. - Well, I'm gonna sit like next to you while you're getting your massage and just continue to listen, ask you like, do you like getting it, like what's going on? And then I'm gonna feed you chicken parm. - Wait, no, you're gonna hold my hand. Like, we're in an ultrasound together. You're gonna hold my hand. - And the best news is that Kitty will probably sleep with you. - I'm so excited for our play date. Should we go to Blackbuster and like get a movie? - No, literally the other day I was cosplaying, like being a mom, because me and Josephine had to get up at like 5 a.m. and go somewhere and then we had like time in between and then like how did thing at night. So we got back to my house and she was like, I'm really tired and I was like, why don't you go take a little nap? Kitty went and I'll wake you up when we have like our next thing and she was like, okay. And the kitty went right with her. She wakes up and she goes, I'm a little hungry. And I go, I go, why don't I make you a girl cheese stall? And she goes, I would love that. And I said, okay, pick out your chips. And that was Kitty's face. Pick out your pickles because we have different types of pickles. And I made her and I loved every second. 'Cause your house is a home. see that's so funny because if someone said that to me I'd be like do you know how to order a brief? I said what can I whip up for you? You are a caretaker. Yeah. Except when you're on tours for some reason it switches. Because nobody wants to work these days myself included. Wait I was just gonna say something cute. Oh that's what I was gonna say. My mom was like oh my god your birthday is coming up. What do you want? I asked for a leg crusade. I'm gonna be so real with you and I know I don't know what that is. A leg crusade? It's like what? It's like one of those big. Wait is that like a cardigan? Is that like oh it's like a serving platter? No it's like no it's like a dish. It's like a like a cook like you cook in it like you cook a crustacean. You can put your leg crusade in the oven. Like I could do my pot roast in my leg crusade. It's just like chic to have a leg crusade. It's like something that you like oh it's like a lasagna tub. Totally. But it has like a top. What's the decor? I asked for the color ivory. Do you know if I asked my mom for a leg crusade she'd call the police? Because I was like why don't you start my collection mother and she goes I would love that. Yes I could do that. Okay I'll get you one. Which one you want the big one? I said yes. Oh my god no I'm really it's really getting dark over here. I'm in such tradwavy things and I'm like enjoying it. No but it's also like think of in your twenties you would at night be like where are we going and now you're like what do I want to create? You're an artist. You know I think back all the time because when I was in middle school and high school I was like I love school dances. How am I gonna live without school dances? I needed school dances. No I'd get really upset because I'd be like are this our last eighth grade dance leg of it's just downhill from here. Did you dance at the dances? Yes. You never felt awkward at one of the dances. No because I was letting my freak flag fly. Cause you like had a guy that you were going to dance. I was dancing so much I was getting in trouble. I was getting put in the corner. Yeah you were. They were like one more time Mr. Sorbo we're gonna have to call your mom. And they're like you don't even go here. How did you get in this? She picked out this outfit so call that bitch up. I just I was like okay we're in a gym and like the guys are like looking at us and we'd be like okay and then I'm like I'm not dancing as well as that girl and then I'm like I don't know what to do with my hands and I'm like mom can you come pick me up? No but it's it's just very true because you don't ever think you'll get over something or you like move past it you don't ever think you're not gonna want to do something. And then one day the things that used to bring you joy just don't and it's not sad because you're entering into like a new chapter that you don't even realize. And truly in like the last couple of years I really like I went out so much in my 20s it's actually disgusting. But I genuinely feel I'm so happy that I don't long for it. Like there was a time where I was like no I long to go out. That is actually so wise of you. And I had that same realization sorry I feel smarter within this line. I'm like I have the same rules. I can't even be drawing my way. You have a protractor that we don't know what you're using for. You just say protractor oh my god. Remember you would have to get like notebooks but it could only be graph paper and I'd be like never saw that on the list. You love nostalgia. I can't say nostalgia right now. Oh I was gonna say when you're 20s you're like oh my god like I'm not gonna be able to do this and you don't realize that you do change as a person to the point that you will not want to do it and that's one thing people don't tell you is that you will change. Like it's not like you're you're 30 and five and you're like I want to go out but I just keep getting hung over. It's like no something inside you starts being like oh 8 p.m. bedtime. Yeah just cuddle around. No you don't realize how strong you are as a woman until you're putting certain situations and until those moments which it happens to everyone you you won't know until like you could be in a really bad situation and sometimes there's good that comes of it because you're like wait that's how I reacted. Hell yeah. Like I'm strong as fuck and it's like you end up getting closer to yourself. Thank you Mel Robbins. Yeah whoa my queen it's going on today. Quick update about cats. I was having a nice little breakfast with Desmond and he goes yeah you talk about me on the pod and I was like what pod. I was like I never talk about you on the pod. I don't talk about you. He goes I'm getting blown up with the m saying let Hannah adopt the cat. And sometimes we use our power for evil and I agree with it and I said you know it's crazy I swear to God I did not tell the gigglers this is gigglers take they see you as a barrier to my joy. We don't control people. I may have accidentally said that like you didn't think it was a good idea for me to get a cat and they took that as a threat. Yeah and their hearts are in totally the right place but um then I obviously saw Genevieve who now we we're calling Peacan peanut we have a lot of options. And she was in a slow cell because she's still as ringworm. Well yeah keep her away from the other cats. But I went to volunteer at this place and I walk in and there was like a girl standing there and she just looks she goes I had a burner like I forget that people might know who I am and she must have been so freaked out and then I was like you want to clean some poop with me so me and this giggler just like cleaned poop for like wait have you ever seen an animal that legit has worms. So ringworm actually isn't worm it's a fungus. Right but have you ever seen animals that legit have worms. No I don't want to see it. It's disgusting. I don't want to see it that's why I'm not a vet. I would have become a vet if I can handle any kind of pain. Like one time we had a dog and he had worms like right when we got him and I was a little and I remember like watching the like it went to the bathroom and the worm was like alive in its poop. I remember turning to my dad and being like I don't fuck with animals. It took you literally 17 years to recover from that. No I remember I was like maybe five and I remember looking up at my dad and being like get it away from I don't give a fuck about this dog get it away from me. You go I like my sparkly cute things in my room that don't poop and I treat them as my children. So Genevieve is doing well you can you guys can stop damning does he's he doesn't support me and he's not letting me adopt it but um he gets he gets the memo. Wait we didn't even talk about me going on Chloe's pod. Wait tell us everything like I want all the details all the like nuance. No she's such a good person like now this is like the second or third time so you guys were like hey what's up it wasn't like uh hi yeah it was like I literally walked in I was like thanks for having me this can be so fun like here's what here's how I will sum up my entire like morning with Chloe when the pod was over and we were about to leave she pulls out of her purse this big truly this little like um like figurine of Jesus and she goes I want you to have this and I go what is this she goes oh I just have like all these like mini little figurines of Jesus and like sometimes like I'll leave them in a bathroom if I'm somewhere or if like I'm with someone and I feel like hey like you need this like you might just like help someone wait it's like Elf on a shelf but Jesus yeah but he's like literally the size of like my nail and I was like that's I'm sorry that's the nicest thing Kim DeSorgos crying somewhere no my mom was like oh that's nice she's like that's like kind of people we need in your life okay she goes that's nice she's close to God it's very important no but I was like that's so sweet like where was she like that after talking you for an hour you need help you're gonna need this and it's stronger than a therapist I think you need Jesus wait it would be so funny if she gave you Saint Anthony that's my dog that's my guy did you tell her we have a faith based podcast I didn't I didn't say that who do you think she would like more like if we both were on like I'm not saying like like we both were our most charming that's my friend how dare you did I ask you this when you were charming it up with Hayley you thought about it but I didn't say it well it's because of the Kardashians no of the Kardashians I think that you and her would get along the most because I when I said this to her I was she's a funniest by far hands down the funniest or do you think unless we're getting Rob involved I actually like Rob is the funny and I hate to say that that I think a man is but I think Rob is the funniest of of all of them Chloe is out there every fucking sees doing the work there's an argument that I would get along with Kim the best because Kim is like you so like we would mesh where like Chloe likes you better because you guys are different you know like you walk into a room. You can feel someone's aura. Like you know, you know when someone's gonna be rude to you or like you know when someone's like, hi. She has, and she's been famous for so long. She is zero of that. She genuinely is very down to earth. Other than like, they live in massive houses and she has a custom bed, Hannah. That's two king size beds. I said, where do you get your sheets? And she goes, babe, they're custom. 'Cause I was like, wait, you can't just stop at target and get double king size. She's like, where are you getting them? Also, Chloe publicly has been through so much and I can't even imagine privately. And she has stayed as like such a light. Chloe after dark was ahead of its time. She had a radio show. Did you talk to her about Chloe? I didn't. I didn't. That like was fucking, oh my God. She was ahead of her time. Did you say that Kylie has six cats? Hannah, they're a family of cats. Why are they kind of hiding this from the community? It's like it's just not like brand safe. They basically like, be cat girls. All switched over to cats. No, I feel like every cool girl is. Did you call her Chloe or Chloe? Chloe, I respected. I wrote her a note though, like, 'cause I brought her a gift. Oh, you love a note. Yeah, you love a note. I brought her a gift when I went to do her pod. And I wrote her like a little note. And I made sure I put the asterix over her E in her name. 'Cause I think that's extremely important. She gave me an entire gift box of all stuff for Kitty. Wait, you guys have the same love language. You just want to give each other gifts and Jesus. And she bedazzled, I mean, she didn't do it, but the churros that like Kitty loved, she, they were bedazzled. Shut up. Yeah, I showed Kitty when we got home. You have to get her like a vintage or like something, like a really beautiful rose right next time you see her. That's so smart. I do have to say the text you wake up with sometimes can make a break your day. No, true. You ever wake up and read the text you go, "Let's not do today." No. Less. I was trying to think the last time, like, I got, my day was ruined. And before I'd even gotten out of bed. You didn't say anything when two days ago I sent you like, my first or second ever invisible ink text. What did it say? I don't remember, but. I'm gonna be honest, Hannah, I get a lot of invisible text. 'Cause you're a vault. I'm rolling in a little vault. You're a vault. See, I'm not a vault. So people weren't really doing it. Oh, I'm reading it. Yep, can't say that out loud. But also this is my question. If you were subpoenaed, they're not gonna be like, "Well, it was invisible, so we can't use it against with the jury." And even you can un-invisible it and still screenshot it. Imagine it's like a murder case and he's like, "I'm gonna tell you right now if I did it or not." Invisible text, "Get ya." - Okay, we haven't got ya, then a while. - Get ya. - No, invisible text is solely for, we don't, I don't know who you're around in this exact moment. God forbid someone looked over at your phone and saw a page of Sorbo saying the most nefarious, disgusting thing ever about someone. - You remember now, which it does happen. - Yeah, maybe when it's like about a person. - I've been visible to full pictures. (laughing) I didn't know you could do that. - I'm like, "Wait, get a load of this one. Get a load of this." - I do have to say, I made it a good purchase recently 'cause you know me, I don't make a lot of recently. - Yeah, I know. - I got a new phone screen. - Like a visibility cloak on? - I didn't know. Just a normal one. - Yeah, but I should get the invisible one. But this one, I didn't realize how long I was using it like while it was cracked. But like a fresh screen, I'm scrolling like, I feel like a gazelle in an open view for it. I didn't realize how messed up my last one was. - It's kind of like when you hurt like your thumb and you're like, "Whatever, I'll be fine, it's my thumb." - And then you're like, "Holy shit, I use my thumb more than anybody part." I'm like, "How am I getting through the day without my goddamn thumb?" - Also, you know what, Gen Z's that I love you guys. I don't know if they're as tough as us because back in my day, if you dropped your phone, you're not, you're like, "Remember when you dropped your phone? It was just like, I've been shot." Like everyone was like, "No!" Obviously you're a kid, you drop your phone like every fucking second. So like you drop your phone to cracks and then you had to like tell your parents that it was like a whole ordeal. - That was a whole ordeal. - I was trying, I broke my phone so many times. - Yeah. - I just like got out, I got a lot of stuff out. I feel like this is so therapeutic for me. - No, it's so necessary. - Especially after a long day when like everyone annoys you. - Oh, and then just to be like. - And you know what's crazy is 'cause I was in the car for an hour before this and I already vented to my mom. So I'm going on two hours of just like, and another thing I thought of. Some days I get nothing done because I'll vent to you. - Yeah. - Vent to does. - Yeah. - Vent to my mom. - Yeah. - And then by the time I've done all that, a whole new crop of issues have started. I have to go talk to you again, talk to my mom, talk to does. - I've wasted full days, Jackson. - And my mom's like, "What'd you do today?" And I'm like, "You know what I did?" I've been making the rounds. - Sorry. - You know the horse that's in my home that I was beating? - Like, come on. - No, and it was a little like recently. Me and Hannah are like, I feel like we've found such peace that you have us. Because recently I've noticed myself calling you and telling you gossip that like, we've already talked about. - I'm like, there's nothing new, but I'm like, let's just like revisit it. Like, we don't even have a new gossip to get into sometimes. - I mean, I'm so proud of us. - Yeah, I know. - But I mean, knock on wood. - I'm like, a little boring, sometimes I'm not super boring. I'm like, I don't know, I'm so creepy married person. That's like, tell me about your dating life. 'Cause I'm over here married. - It's not even like dating life drama. I'm like-- - No, like when Grace tells us she went on a date, the way we freak the fuck out, we're like, tell us everything. - Yeah, I'm like, I want like, I want group chat drama. I want like, I need something. - We don't have any friend group drama. - What, what friend group? (laughing) - You know what's crazy? We started out with a large friend group. - Wait, I cried one night. And I was like, why are you crying? Are you crying over a boy? And I'm like, no, because I'm losing all my friends. (laughing) - What? - And they're like, welcome to your 30s. - Oh yeah. - They just, the people who drop off, 'cause like yeah. - I recently saw a TikTok of all these photos of like, people hanging out having the best time in their 20s. And it's just me with the fakers friends I've ever had. (laughing) - Sometimes I do feel bad. I'm like, oh wait, I don't have like, oh that many friends or like, to go out with like, everyone's like, doing their own thing. Like, I don't have a, I guess I, what I'm saying is, I don't have a cohesive friend group where they all know each other. - Hmm. - You know, like all my girlfriends don't really, like they know each other, but they're not like, it's not one big group text. - I do have to say the comedy community is quite nice 'cause they all know each other and they do have good gossip. - Yeah, no, the comedy community does have really good gossip. - No, but sometimes I'll listen to like, some of my other friends who have these like, big friend groups and either like, half of them are married so they hang out their husbands or like, some of them are single so they'll go out whatever. - Truly couldn't pay me. Like, then I'll hear those stories and I'm like, no, no, no, no, I want no part of that. It's some of the most insane, because here's the thing. Even though you get married, that doesn't mean you are matured, that doesn't mean you figured out anything in yourself internally. So now you're just bringing along another person to witness your debauchery. So some of like friend group drama where it's like, everyone's married. I'm like, miss me with it. Like, I rather have no one and be with my cat and have peace than be in whatever the fuck that is. - You've had like, 40 epiphanies on this pod about your existence and it was super, super, super powerful. - It's a perfect time to red light mask and settle in for the night. - Wait, I'm gonna see you tomorrow night. - Yeah, I'm so excited. - I'm so excited. - I'm literally gonna get to my shoot tomorrow and be like, no, I have a hard hour. - My friends get me over. - My friends sleeping over. I can't tell you the last time I had a friend sleep over. - No, I'm so excited. We're gonna be like, light. - Well, then I was thinking I was like, we should have like, I lay in the bed with her. Like, I'm gonna like, like, like talk. - At least we'll like, watch something together and then we'll see like, where we wanna sleep. - Okay. - We'll just, we'll discuss. - Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Love you. Bye. (laughs) (upbeat music)