Giggling about squatting, stationery, and suppositories

what's up gigglers gary fix the wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed i mean the day just got away from me hello my glorious gigglers it's hannah from the future she's back bitches she's a time traveler she's back in the past she's gonna tell us what she's learned you got i don't understand time that was crazy me neither but i do have to say the i took a 14 hour flight from hong kong to dallas yeah easiest flight in my life i fucking sleep the whole time slept the whole time like you don't take a melatonin for like that type of flight honey this is natural talent okay this is my god-given talent that i can i have depression turn off the light i'm out what time was it when you took off like in hong kong like what time of day where like was it night morning 4 p.m in hong kong okay and i ordered some dan dan noodles if you don't know what dan dan noodles are shout out dan dan they are um peanut noodles hot with chili sauce it was the dessert and i ordered them on the plane no at the lake at the lounge i was injecting into my veins and as i was eating it i was like this is gonna put me to sleep like i was like this potion is gonna be what i need and then we love a noodle i had this like sesame bun and i was like what if i just dipped it in and i looked around and like no one else was dipping it and i'm like this is so italian of me i was like what is that right that's there's like a word for that the carbs scarpetta i think is the word that's like to sop up i was sopping up the juices i was look i was blending all the cultures that are within me um but then i landed in dallas and i was like you uncultured swines it was and look shout out to my texas girls i love you of course you know i love dallas we oh you love i love dallas even though we um we believe in abortion speaking of make sure you guys vote today i'm voting i'm voting right after this hell yeah scurrying myself to the only time i like waiting in line is scurrying to the polls scurrying to the polls and then getting a fucking sticker you want to know something i need to start voting in person more because i'm missing the vibes i only voted one time in person for barack obama and honestly i remember standing there with my dad saying who are you putting and i looked at his and then i put the same thing but we got barack obama as a president so maybe me and gary should be in charge more that people don't talk enough about how when you're younger you're just your parents are like vote and this is who you vote for well it was my first time voting i think i had just it was like i think it was my birthday because i'm always on election day and so i was but then i was like wait what do i do my dad was like we're voting for obama so you're voting you're voting tomorrow i mean no you're brit sorry i got really thrown with dates because i'm like from the future stop okay i left hong kong at 4 30 p.m sunday i landed in dallas and i was like i'm gonna vote for barack obama i'm gonna vote for dallas at 4 50 p.m sunday tell me how that works you left at four in hong kong you landed at four oh so you were only on the flight for 50 minutes that's yeah i had a 20 minute nap um but then i yeah it was you guys i did it and not to mention we we turned the clocks back all in like that was too much for me to handle and then my mom had the nerve to be like oh my god they changed it by an hour i'm like thrown i'm like oh i was you know i was pretty groaned i feel like i'm 12 hours also then butter comes in she's exhausted she's so tired she's sleeping all day acting like she has a 12-hour jet lag um yeah but this is the thing i'm left to my own devices i'm alone because des went to australia and i'm so fucking mad i couldn't go to australia i've never been i want to go so you wouldn't have been able to handle it no but like your body wouldn't have been your body would have shut down one thing about des is he like knows things like he knows like okay you should technically nap now you shouldn't nap now like don't drink coffee now like he's good at the travel stuff but i'm like alone and it's like 2 p.m and i'm feeling tired and i'm like what if i just butter and i passed out we were asleep all day yesterday which is what you're not supposed to do it's like the one rule des was like go outside for a walk i was like bye do you ever find yourself like by yourself and my favorite thing to do whether you have a significant other or not yeah but you're just like by yourself and you ever have like an internal monologue of like oh actually no one's in charge of me and i'll do whatever i want and whenever you like remember that you have free will it's very liberating yeah the fun thing about marriage is like yeah you're married but like you're not always with that person so there's like another identity you have when it's like yes i'm texting i'm saying miss you babe like all this stuff but at home butter and i are partying hold on hold on hold on hold on so you can have relationships with men she's taking the mental load right now this is what they call the mental load she's trying to find his golf clubs when she's supposed to be working i'm so sorry i just did a speech about how you have to take on the mental load are you no i'm not i refuse to did you have to go to the garage that's so scary you i literally said this is what happens when you choose love i hate men they're so insufficient joe went golfing and just called me and goes i forgot my golf clubs i got was that the whole point of going so i had to bring them outside and put them in an uber no i really i can't and my birthday is tomorrow and so i'm having an existential crisis already of like what is my life what do i want for it and what i don't want is mental load well to make you feel better i was shopping in hong kong as i do i don't shop for you i like to send you links but i'm not like buying stuff because right truly my mom i have like a i have like a five percent hit rate of you being like cute but you still don't even want it but you'll be like okay like i see what you i see what you're going with that and every now and then i like to just page bait and like send you something crazy i want you to wear and then you send me a stark email on the side you're clogging up my messages with nonsense so i go to this vintage shop called hula it's incredible it's like the real real of hong kong and yeah there was this bag that was like you know when you see a bag and it's like like it was glowing speaking to me but not for me she had an aura when i shop i shop for you my mom and me that's who i and occasionally grace yeah and butter and nana so and lois this but this thing i'm not like a pink girl in my heart but i'm like if i was a pink girl i feel like that's the pink i would like so i send a video to you but obviously you're asleep because i'm like in the future so then you caught up to the future and you text me and you're like i want that back so i i say des cancel your plans we have to go to hong kong and i'm like i have to go back to that random vintage store and he's like why and i'm like paige actually likes his bag i found and he understood how like momentous that was for me the camaraderie that we were having in that moment yeah and i felt like i was like trafficking a bag for my best friend from a foreign land sorry you sourced a bag for me i was vintage sourcing for my fashionista friend like this was actually like on the company so it was so cute and i like grabbed it and i grabbed this bag and they put it on the counter and it was like multiple women were walking by going that's a cute bag and then i'm like oh is this what it feels like what to shop when you're page because i've never had that happen to me like something someone's like oh i'm so sick that i can remember being in the fourth grade and going into the gap and there was a suede skirt and jacket set and my mom was like you have to get the set and i was like i don't know if i'm really liking it and then i saw another girl trying it on and i was like mom get the skirt back yeah you feel like you've like won you've like it's like a race i found a cardigan and the guy who works there was like oh i was gonna buy that for my partner so like i was i was fighting his husband for a sweater yeah i got you the cutest bag i can't wait to give it to you but i got you something else for your birthday even though you said and we said we're done with gifts for each other it's just the mental load i can't take it the mental that's so sweet my whole life i'm just trying to ease my mental load the thing with gifting with you is that gifting is your love language like gifting is not my love language but it's like i feel like i'm speaking your language by giving you a pink little vintage bag i'm halfway done with my christmas shopping yeah thanksgiving me and joseph you made a whole excel spreadsheet this year what you're talking about your like extended family oh everyone anyone so I categorize them into different groups so like everyone I work with will get the same gift of something then all like my doctors my dentist like random people that are in my life but like I'm not really like that close to they get like candy they get a separate gift people I met yeah like I'll add them to the list in passing then I have like actual family and friends and they get like individualized gifts but then that's separate from like my Daphne business gifting but like all my Daphne employees they're on like my work list and they'll get the same gift as like my agents and stuff like that you can't gift our agents and then not tell me you gifted the agents because then I look like a bitch I do gift my agents every year so oh that explains it explains a lot see I try to gift them by actually doing the work someone needs to do the work I can't just send thank you notes I'm like but what about a Saks gift card you're like no I will not be doing that brand deal however I did get you a really cute gift here's a tray from Hermes I hope you love it don't ever email me again oh my god our agent's listening right now right now being like that makes sense no I love I truly gifting is my love language but I think it is a double-edged sword because then when someone gets me a gift I'm like yeah so you've never met me you don't know intricate things about me well I'm like I know everything to get you the perfect gift like I already have gotten I've gotten Joe two Christmas gifts already that I'm like he's gonna be like oh my god you know me so well you're putting a lot of pressure on him he's can't even remember golf clubs of the golf club right I'm stressed for him I'm actually very stressed for him I it's funny though like this is us you will never respond to an agent over text and I will be like responding immediately like making sure everything's okay setting it up but they will get the nicest gift of their life from you once a year and they're like pages the best and a handwritten note and they're like does that even care does that even care about our relationship my um Daphne designer her name is Katie and she's like she's just so fucking chic it's crazy but like two weeks ago she brought me this like coffee table book and it was all different beds and like different bed setups and she was like this is so you and I just saw it and I was like I have to get it for you and so she gave it to me and I was like that was so nice and we actually have our birthdays are like a day apart and I mailed her a thank you note and I actually recently just got new stationery so I'm really excited about that and she texted me and she was like I haven't gotten a mailed thank you note in I don't know how long and that's also my love language I love a mailed note so I was on Etsy for like two hours one day trying to find you like the perfect stationery but I got like first of all I psyched myself out I had to I know because I I was like she's doing a custom like Louis Vuitton like I don't know but I basically was like I had to have it I was I was in over my head and then I was like the idea is there but like if I got you like 400 stationery that you weren't going to use that's really bad for the environment but I want to let you know that I knew you wanted stationery so my current stationery yeah tell us the situation so inside of the Daphne box when you buy something from Daphne inside the box there's a drawing of Kitty that we own like we bought the drawing like we had someone make the drawing and like we own that drawing so I took that drawing and I put it I made up like a fake cardstock and it has a blue border because Daphne's colors are blue then it has Kitty that drawing at the bottom so it looks like she's stretching on the border of the stationery and then up at the top it says Paige Audie DeSorbo now some people do their address on their stationery I don't do that because I don't want you to know where I am like maybe I am there maybe I'm not I was gonna do a Daphne photo but I couldn't I didn't do custom I couldn't find one that looked exactly like her like some of them the nose was like not big enough the eyes nose ratio wasn't right and like Daphne's very specific and how she looks as in the most beautiful cat in the world and she'll sue you you know she'll sue you her likeness can't just be replicated she's like cool I was gonna have it say from the desk of Paige Audie DeSorbo I do like from the desk of I knew you would I knew you would but I couldn't get it together I couldn't get it together also how thick is it because isn't that like a a wealth status she's not wedding invitation thick but she is substantial I have 500 stationery and I divvied them out so like the Daphne office has some in case they have to send a personalized note for me Josephine has some in case she has to send a personalized note for me and then I have some I'll give you some too in case you need to send a note thank you part of Josephine's training is getting your handwriting down exactly which she's nailed um I watched American Psycho because I'm trying to um understand Des's culture which is movies from the 90s and I'm like I'm gonna send a note to her and I'm like I'm gonna send a note to her from the 90s oh have you never seen it no it was I really liked it but it's very funny I thought it was supposed to be no I thought it was hilarious the fact that they have this ongoing bit about like business cards and like oh I got the business card with the gold on it like yeah and it was that's what you remind me of also we have enough like look we're entrepreneurs here we love starting businesses for someone who's type B like me but wants to be like you in terms of thank you notes and stuff I know that they have companies that are like thank you boxes and stuff but like I really would love an easy like just put together get a candle and a fucking thank you note and like yeah like the perfect easy thank you that you could just like send all the time that isn't like crazy expensive like a gift basket thank you like like something in the same genre of like an edible arrangement but not an edible arrangement do you know what my mom loves I know that they have companies that are like thank you boxes and stuff but like yeah I really would love an easy like a gift basket thank you like a gift basket thank you like a gift basket thank you yeah I totally agree also speaking of businesses I'm officially it's not a business it's my passion project for my heart and soul I'm launching gym class Wednesday morning we're working out on Wednesdays we work out you're gonna do it butter's doing it butter just came in the room hey butter we're getting our I don't want to call us lazy asses but sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself so we are I want the girls to hold hands on Wednesdays we're gonna work out because working out gives you endorphins endorphins make you happy happy people don't shoot their husbands but if you do there's probably normally a reason you're like I could think of a hundred no there I could think of I got bringing golf clubs to the side to the sidewalk I you love that man you brought you brought golf clubs downstairs into the road no no no they were in the garage no they were in the garage I just have to roll them out but here's the kicker the uber driver didn't get out of the car to help me put it in the trunk so I just lifted a bag full of golf clubs and put them in the trunk no when you get a female uber driver do you let her put your bags in no see cuz I'm like girl we're in this together I say we're in this together girl code I'm like you're smaller than me what the hell are you gonna do I hate when that happens they're like the tiniest person and I'm like no no no no no no but when it's a man and they don't get out of the car I'm like you're actually just making this process go longer because yes I can lift it but it's I'm slower to put it in and I'm like you're just rude but like if a woman driver if I have a woman uber driver yeah and if she doesn't get out of the car I don't even give it a second thought I'm like yeah well I could do it wait can we talk about something that's like kind of somber but also like I just want to see what your take is yeah did you see the plane crash in West Palm all I saw was someone saying like they weren't on the plane okay those are like weird crazy conspiracy theorists yeah I was in Hong Kong yeah your algorithm got switched up what happened so there was a private plane that was going from Texas to the Bahamas and it's crazy because I was flying out of Florida that day back to New York and I woke up and I was like there's no way my flight is going like it's thunder it's lightning it's like crazy weather and i kept checking and it like the flights were getting delayed maybe like by 20 25 minutes nothing crazy so i took off at like one o'clock this happened at like 105 and so everyone in the plane perished and so sad so unfortunate and when the news was doing the coverage of it they kept showing the co-pilot who was a young woman she was only 20 years old she had her pilot license and she was in high school but she was still really young and the pilot was a man but they kept showing her well they kept showing her picture and and which okay yes she was involved in the crash but it wasn't solely her fault and also the comments under it were so crazy like this is why you don't this is why you don't fly with a woman pilot this is why like men should it almost felt like it was like bots you're like okay no one thinks like this poor 20 year old young girl just died who the fuck is commenting oh well this is why i only fly with like male pilots like also you don't know who they are when you get in the flight you dumb dumb i also feel like being a pilot is a one of those industries that women have had to really fight to be seen as like as equal and so i just felt bad for like all the women pilots after this because it was like okay she wasn't even the main pilot and they're still getting blamed and they just like pushing that narrative well someone posted and it like really hit me hard and it was like even in death you will not escape misogyny oh geez and i was like oh you know it's so funny and i was walking through so many airports this week because i'm a time traveler and i saw a couple women pilots they look so cool because they're wearing like this uniform with the you know i love a tie with a tie but they're like tailored and like they look chic as fuck like these girls are so cool like i was like nervous around them like i wanted to be hi i'm a huge fan like i just love their work and you just know how much harder they had to work to get where they are i think half the reason that giggly squad live sold out is because if you're a woman and you're my pilot or my flight attendant and you ask me for giggly squad tickets i've given them to you like i've given i don't know what it is about flight attendants that are like i couldn't get a ticket and i'm like email me babe yeah like i there's just something about them that i'm like no i'm gonna help you um speaking of delta something has gone awry i don't know if it's because i recently i'm renting this apartment and like in the move i lost all my delta headphones yeah thank god page i need my delta headphones to record this podcast and i had wait a minute i don't know what it is about flight attendants wait who's someone's under attack your dog is attacking someone the dog no how dare you say my dog you're it's you it's yours that's your dog babe that's your dog another thing about mental load is i had to fly here with my cat my personal cat she's amazing at travel she doesn't make a sound she sits in her case and then the dog saw that i was also on the flight and he was like well obviously i'm gonna sit with her so i'm taking care of both pets and my boyfriend who's in the seat above me or seat in front of me no pets i'm like no i'm not taking care of two kids take your dog back i was like no can i bring up something traumatizing that came up in my feed recently yeah do you remember saturdays are for the boys i'm going through a tough time right now no that came across my desk and i was like no no how did do you remember like 2017 that was going on and no one everyone was like yeah saturdays are for the boys i feel like i hate myself but i feel like i even said it a couple times in college i feel like i somehow was walking past a huge flag that said it and might have taken a photo accidentally like make sure that's nowhere on the internet but that was just like what a time what a time to be alive it was coupled with smoke show of the week oh sorry how did this get so dark let's discuss why did you do that that just like really threw me off well when something upsets me i need everyone to know about it and that's my toxic you know that that just upset upset all of us for sure well i want it i want people to know like how far we've come also like there's positivity in it oh i know what'll bring you joy i brought i had some like health tips from hong kong yes so the chinese are obsessed with when you wake up in the morning similar to your hot warm lemon tea having a hot breakfast and hot liquids they said waking up and like jolting your body with like a cold iced coffee they're not about so like every millennial shaking right now they basically know i know they have a hot soup hot tofu they have a thing called congee which is like this hot rice and like you have hot oatmeal they just think in the morning you need hot stuff to like get things moving in your stomach yeah and comforting your insides i mean i don't know the science behind it but they're basically like obsessed with warm things in the morning not to sound out of touch for a second but on my rider i put i have hot water with lemon because anytime i do a shoot and i have to be there for glam at like 6 a.m and they're like do you want a coffee i'm like i'll actually shit all over you like no so i need a hot water with lemon like i can't be jolted by an iced coffee at 6 a.m in a foreign place lately what i'm into when like you have to perform and stuff but you can't eat because you'll shit yourself is i like just like a protein drink i like a protein drink a little vanilla protein like a shake like fair life has a really really good protein shake that just tastes like a milkshake but it's not it's not unhealthy it's not unhealthy it's not unhealthy it's not is fair life regular milk or is that like lactose intolerant they have lactose free like the one i'm doing is lactose free but fair life has two things they have just like milk and then like a protein shake but it's it looks similar so i've multiple times accidentally just grabbed the milk and i'm like drinking on a plane just like raw just full milk thinking it's gonna be a protein sorry i'm not the guy from love is blind um no that was great i think there's i think they're still together okay so i'm i had i watched it on the flight i finally watched the scene of the guy having the mental breakdown it's so reality tv though because i'm like what did he actually do like no one's saying it well you can tell the clips are cut up cut up like crazy you guys when there's a straight man drunk yelling at people on national television just know it was way worse in real life it was 10 times worse it was 20 times worse but you'll see him be like what a woman and then some girls like i'm so traumatized by what happened it's like yeah that's not all he yelled because when i was expecting something like horrible to happen how everyone was reacting but they didn't show it but he clearly was going around being super inappropriate and like saying fucked up shit but they didn't show it also he didn't like fully hit on the other girl he just at one point like pulled his seat around but i wonder why they're protecting him maybe just because it got too dark if i had to surmise being a reality tv veteran it's not necessarily that they're protecting the awful man that did something more so they're protecting their own network yeah you're 100 they would get more backlash as the network of like why did you allow this to be aired to millions of people yeah it just works out for the bad man who's drunk yelling it works out in their favor the truth isn't shown fully also the fact that michaela is getting any hate like people are like she was a pick me i'm like the second she saw him being a weirdo she was like i'm out i thought she handled it amazing i think it's such a good example for women to see how easy it is to actually just be like yeah i'm out like we watch so many relationships of women being like but i'm there for him i'm there for him and he's my person i'll make it work and you're like why is she torturing herself for years like it's actually so easy like i've i tortured myself so in so many relationships and let me edit that it's not easy it's not easy it's actually very difficult but once you see someone move on you see how like oh life goes on like she hasn't lost her entire life and when the other girl she didn't mean to but when she was like you have to start from scratch i'm like she met this guy three weeks ago she's not she hasn't invested eight years of her life with the family kids she can start over also it takes one man one day i actually thought michaela had more grace talking to that girl than she even did with rob like that girl literally looked at her and was like oh my god your life sucks like she i felt so bad for michaela because she was like oh my god if i were you i'd kill myself like it was so crazy also we're all watching it we're all watching it knowing that that girl's fully with a man without a home he lives on a boat and he's fucking girls in croatia as they're speaking that man has has a full other family in St. Thomas. His wife and kids are looking him also why are all his friends girls i didn't like that why was i scared of those girls at one point the girl was like okay we're done here like i don't have to do this if you guys are so mad about it should i just leave like i felt really bad for her in that moment this is the problem though like yeah what's his name blake his name blake it's like he looks like to me who knows but it's like yeah he's charming in that way of like you meet him on the weekend and you're like oh what a crazy life we could live but like we're not gonna do it like i'm not gonna talk to him again he's not like marriage material but like what a fun concept if i was like also when he's working he was like she'd love to have a summer in europe i'm like yeah with you not like locked in a hotel room while you're out here who knows doing what also i've been with men before that will like have these ideas of grandeur and they'll say it to you and they'll be like oh yes won't that be amazing like and we'll travel with our family across the world and i'm like okay but logistically like no we're not like because are you throwing a kid on your fucking back like are you breastfeeding on the plane like you live in an here's the thing i think with men in society right now a lot of them live in an alternate reality and i almost like don't blame them because it's they're becoming adults or if not been adults for a long time and they're not 15 fucking years but i feel like women in our generation are so changing the narrative and they haven't caught up so like they give you these like false ideas of like and then we'll get married and we'll do this this and this and it's like but you're actually lying to me because that's not gonna happen like yeah every woman does think about summering in europe in a five-star hotel like like in a dream world we don't want to be following you on some fucking boat like shut up and you know what's happening girls are doing it but they're doing it with their other successful friends yeah and they're doing it on their own on their own everything that ever pissed me off in my 20s that i'm like that a man would hold over my head i now do it on my own and it's so much more satisfying i'm like oh really you don't want to buy me a first class ticket watch this in five years like fuck you my favorite is when i like walk in somewhere and it's like me with like a tall like gray-haired man so they always talk to him like he's in control and i'm like you guys and he loves he giggles he thinks it's so funny and eventually he's like you're talking the wrong person bro okay you want to know what maybe that's why i love going to italy every summer because like when i check into our hotel i feel like they know i'm in charge well you've been going there for five years i think they know how it works they're also like all still traumatized by that time you had to put a um seltzer in your arm or whatever when it's a what get an iv yeah but they put like a what's like the italian drink it's like green wait i i usually always know what you're talking about i'm really lost in this one when i had to put a seltzer on my arm what is like the sparkling water they have in italy do they have different sparkling water no they don't wait we just had a glitch in the matrix what the fuck are you talking about it looked like sparkling water was attached to your arm in that photo where you had the oh yes the pellegrino yes yes and that took way too long to get there but we got there and we got okay people want to know about my my pooping status and look it's a little they have they actually they dm'd you and said what's the status okay they're freaks sick freaks many of you have dm'd tana and said no my all my dms are just have you pooped yet okay so i thought after you're constipated because i've never been constipated before in my life i thought after you're constipated you'd one day have this like incredible release of like and it was euphoric and then you're like have a six-pack after and you just like walk around and like do cartwheels it hasn't been like that it's been yeah just like a couple little tiny poops throughout and like it's slowly getting back to normal but i'm not blocked anymore but i didn't have like an iconic moment that i could like share with the gigglers oh but i did shove something up my butt you did a suppository i love how it took 40 minutes for us to get to this i'm like i've done it once in my life and i was like a child my mom made me do it i was like god i must have been constipated and i was like i don't like this do you know when you're traveling and like one of the days just like kicks your ass like i actually was so good with organizing dinners and all the stores i wanted and all the cat cafes and then i had one day where everything just like punched me in the face yeah there was a tennis tournament in hong kong so i go and it's free because it's qualifying and i got in the wrong line and then like i never got in and i waited in line for like an hour and it was like 85 degrees so i was like okay i decide okay i need to get um a suppository hello sorry i'm from the future and like i got a glitch we're so brain dead i don't know why i'm sober i'm honestly my birthday being tomorrow is just really fucking me up page i'm 35 i've been 35 it's not about the age i'm i feel like i crushed 33 i i'm like excited to be like i'm 34 like i feel fine it's more about like the overall arching theme of existence yes of aging of aging and i don't mean in like the vain like conceited way of aging of like oh you have wrinkles or like oh you look older not that because i i think i look the same age as i did when i turned 30 but like it's more like oh so like that part of my life is over and i probably won't ever experience that part of my life in the same way again you know i'm i like long for nostalgia yeah but you like hated going to clubs i mean you loved it but now you would hate it so like what are we missing right that's what i'm saying so but it's almost like getting over the fact that like yeah but you hate that now so like why do you care it's like i'm sad that i hate it now that's the thing you do love nostalgia but you know not to be full psychic on you uh-huh i think when you have a child you are gonna relive every moment and you're gonna love it so much and you're gonna be like reliving the nostalgia in the best way you could ever imagine that is gonna make me cry that is so nice and i actually that's what i need like i'm gonna look i look forward to that when that happens well whenever we talk to your energy healers and your psychics and your pet psychics and your astrologers they all they are going to be like oh my god i'm so like all talk about you me being a mom like this home and being a mom which is so funny because you've it's like you've you never talk about being a mom but i think like yeah look speaking as an aunt to lois and bobby like they just had halloween like the joy i had from just watching on my phone videos of them like being like look how cool my outfit is and going like you you live it again through it right right so true and i think one of the themes of getting older is realizing like each year i feel like you realize things that are really important in life and i think i'm just like i keep getting older and older and i realize that like your relationships with people are truly what's the most important thing in life whether it's like with your parents with your friends with your significant other it's just like how you nurture relationships really is the most important thing in life and i feel like community like keeps you living longer okay jet gpt that's why i love giggly squad because it's like no because yes how fucking dare you giggly squad like finding other girls and gays with the same sense of humor like what could bring more joy name it yeah and i feel like whenever i get a dm from a girl about anything where it's like hey you really like encouraged me or gave me the confidence to do x y and z i then i'm like okay everything then everything i do is fine it's all worth that it's all worth it like okay if you got out of a really sucky relationship and the guy was like borderline abusive or was abusive and you got out of it because i said one thing on a podcast then yeah i don't care how much hate i get for the rest of my life because it mattered to that one girl and that's fine those are the best dms ever also like yeah to her bun gym class but like if i get one girl to work out who thought she couldn't work out no working out is like so good for your mental health like it sucks like but i did the research like if i get one girl who was scared to go to the gym to like work out in her living room and like feel better about herself that day like fuck yeah okay so the suppository yes sir you don't just like get a suppository i had to go to like all these pharmacies in hong kong and like they don't speak english there so i had to try to explain that i can't poop to multiple different people so i'd be like i need and i would have just died i'd be like stomach and when you say stomach they think like you're having diarrhea and then you have to be like no no no diarrhea blocked and then and then the guy was kept giving me dulcolax and i was like no no i need to show you should have used like a true like a translator app or something for some reason that was like more embarrassing to me to be walking around with a sign like you and des was supposed to be my fucking um translator but he doesn't speak cantonese he speaks mandarin so he's no help so annoying so annoying like like okay learn the right language yeah like why were we not in beijing if you can't if why'd we go to hong kong anyway i'm like over that so he was dead to me i was going around just pointing to like up my butthole to like random like six years why americans have a bad reputation when we travel because of me it's always a redhead doing something to us so then i finally get the suppository after going to like countless pharmacies who like didn't understand me and i'm scared to insert something foreign into my body like it's scary and i was overseas gotta have a couple cocktails and it's not that scary i was like at least at least give me tell me a joke or something to start off at least let me have a noodle with a sesame seed give me some compliments first so des would just say there's like you're gonna do it and i'm like okay i don't need you like micromanaging yeah pressuring me my anal this is like literally like peer pressuring you into drugs like just do it you're gonna like it it's gonna feel good you know i hate that and then he was like i waited for him to be in the shower because i just didn't know what was gonna happen i didn't want to like ruin our relationship with like a weird suppository so but they were quick don't they this is my advice i went to the bathroom because for some reason i was like i should be in the bathroom for doing this but apparently you should actually just be well no no where the fuck else would you be no apparently you should just do it like lying on your side in bed because once you stick it up your butthole so powerful your butthole wants to reject you your butthole is like this is foreign so like but you needed to stay up there to break down whatever's going on so technically i put it up there and then i like ran to the bed and like in that walking it could like release it but like i clenched so anyway just for girls when you do in the future just lay in bed on your side and put it in you know what's nice to know is that you would never get kidnapped to become like a drug trafficker because they'd never be able to do it to keep the drugs inside your butthole they'd be like she has she has ibs you know and that's something funny to think about that drug dealers who are trafficking drugs are thinking about people who have ibs or not also i can barely hold a tampon in like i put it in at slightly the wrong angle i'm like i'm taking it out this is ruining my day yeah so like the fact that people are shoving stuff up their vaginas just holding it i mean hannah people are going to the er because they've shoved so many things up their assholes and they can't get them out like that's like a whole tiktok series i think like they shit nurses have seen in the er justice for richard whatever remember everyone said he had like stuck a gerbil up his butt once who the guy from pretty woman that was like a 90s or 80s reference that does told me about richard richard gear shoved a hamster up his ass he didn't but that was like the marilla manson like type himself head yeah type of thing that like it was like the leah michelle can't read wait i forgot to mention this i went to a charity event like two weeks ago now and i'm walking up the stairs and they're like taking pictures whatever and then i see leah michelle walking up the stairs and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i would love to like she's so sweet and then she got up on stage because she was presenting an award and she read off the teleprompter and i almost took a video of like stop hating on my girl like she can read is it so nice yeah it was it was so how do you know there were words on it i chose to trust i like the leah michelle lore and she's a giggler yeah i love her for a rumor to stick like that you have to be an it girl for how much i don't want to go to a musical i love musical theater people she's a songbird of our generation yeah i feel like i can separate their art where i'm like i don't want to sit through a three hour long singing play but i find you so incredibly talented and like above people when you're a theater actor i just think they do it all documentary about like where these rumors start like actually getting to the bottom of like where did that actually begin rumors start from one person really really hating you and i feel like someone was so jealous of leah michelle and they started that and then you can hire pr companies to like keep lies going it's really scary yes yep i know that so she um my thing is i love that rumor for her because i'm like so she does full musicals without being able to read that's the most impressive thing i've ever heard she reads music without being able to read right letters that's fucking right like she's a genius like it's almost like a fuck you like oh i can't read and i did all this without being able to yeah read yeah imagine if she could she'd take over the goddamn world you should hope that she can't because this is already this powerful butter cameo wait that's so sweet she never makes why don't you read the sign above your bed hannah okay you guys i'm renting and every room is beautiful but i did walk into this room and it says all you need is love and i said desmond we have to do something about this he's like why i'm like butter's trying to read it right now she's actually hates it and if any man ever says all you need is love know that that man is broke and he will not spend any money on you or your future children okay so keep that in the back of your head ladies because all you need is not love you need a lot more that you need security you need a 401k speaking of love everyone on love is blind hates each other like i know it's the edit but like the way they're fighting i'm like you guys there's no love there's no respect oh butter's trying to take down the sign right he's like butter's like wait up wait a minute the fuck's it say but it's like this is not my aesthetic this is not my brand something needs to be done um but i find the people in love is blind like there's not one couple actually rob and michaela were my couple i know even though they're dysfunctional i was like yeah i see it i did like cam and the girl he i can't here's the thing i hate that i like can't remember any of their names i liked them together in the beginning and then i was kind of like i just want to feel like during the first three weeks of your relationship i know they're putting them through a lot and it's a lot of pressure but like you were on your best fucking behavior i like to say it's your representative it's your representative and it's your highest like dopamine time like that's that's when the guys can get away with so much because you're just like you just see his height and you're just like the fact these people are fighting within the first three weeks i like i'm actually out this is what i think a man anyone actually i shouldn't even just say a man a woman too you can be on your best behavior and you can lie about your personality for three months after three months you that's it then you start to go back to who you really are so that's why like in the first three months if it's not perfect get out well she said a neat anejo was like i asked you questions and it takes you 15 seconds to respond i'm like yeah that's cold not having chemistry like you guys just like trying to talk to you and you just don't talk and it's like and she's like can we figure this out that's just that's when you go thank you so much for your time like yeah how do you have a phone call right she's like there's some or they would have the best marriage oh god also i think it's funny that um like rob's friends like one of the things that they said to michaela was like you know like we had to wonder if coming on this show like you had ulterior motives like what could you gain from the show? Like, yeah, dude, they're getting famous off of you guys. Like, shut the fuck up. Also, Rob, why are you on the show? You're both on the fucking show. Yeah, what are you trying to do? Why are they just pointing fingers at Mikayla? What did you want from the show? You wanted to be able to get, be like, I'm on TV. You wanted to be able to fuck other girls. Like, you never, you weren't trying to get married, yeah. I love how he's sitting on reality TV like, why'd you do reality TV, you fake ass? I'm like, I don't know, ask your representative. Also, coming onto reality TV for the first time ever and being high on drugs, I think, is one of the craziest things you can ever do. Like, all of his friends that were in that scene were high off the, I have gone out for so many years. I know when someone is high. All of those men were high. And that's the difference between me and you. I was like, they're dumb. Also, it's so funny to be like, I'm such a tough guy. I'm like, fighting producers to let my 42-year-old friend have another beer. Like, you're not a tough guy, bro. Like, just calm down. I also just want to say that actually a man wanting to go on reality TV is so much worse than a woman going on reality TV. So much worse. If anything, the woman is trying to be entrepreneurial and like, make money for her future family. We're like, why are you going? So much worse. Even hot take, men saying I want to be famous. That's for women. Becoming famous is for women. Sorry, famous is not for, if you're a man trying to be famous, I'll puke. No, I can't. If you're a man who's really good at something, like you have a skill and like people admire it, great. If you're just going on TV to be famous, that's not a game. And I don't know what that voice is. I've never done it before, but I don't like it. It gives me the heebie-jeebies. It makes me. I couldn't even date like a professional act. Athlete, I don't think. Which I wouldn't consider like a. I mean, are professional athletes famous? I mean, yeah, I guess. But like, I don't know. When I think of famous men, I think like Harry Styles. Like, I think like a singer, an actor, like a Jacob Elordi. Like, I don't think I could be with anyone that is essentially the star. I want a guy who's like, I love him like I want a guy while I'm married, but like, he's like, this is literally Des, but he's like, I hate that I have to post, like, this is my art and this is what I need to do. Like, do you know that Des, like, never posts just like a photo of himself? That's different. He has a skill set. He's an artist. He's a type of artist. But I was like, why don't you post photos from Hong Kong? And he's like, why would I do that? And I'm like, and that is such a good question. Yeah. And that is the thing I need to ask themselves. Yeah. It's like, what are you promoting? What are you promoting? What is the purpose of this photo? What are we promoting in this photo? Yeah. I think that's a great question. Also, I want to raise awareness for one other thing men are doing that, like, girls have had to deal with in darkness. And I think Taylor Swift is one of them. A lot of men are addicted to video games and they are ruining their relationships. Taylor Swift has to deal with that? Well, Travis Kelsey, like, when he's not playing football, he's playing, like, he has a headset on. Do you know I've never dated someone who played video games? I know girls who dated professional athletes who, like, they just love games. Like, the second they're off the field, they're just, like, playing. And, like, it's, you're not around. Like, they're not physically. It's like if they were on their phone the whole time. That's how it feels. And they're just, like, talking to other men on the headsets. You know what's crazy is that, like, football is on Mondays, Thursdays. Is it on Thursdays? Mondays, Thursdays, Saturdays. Thursdays, Sundays. And then they golf. Let's just say they golf once a week. But God forbid I watch Dancing with the Stars. That's five days of, like, you know your hobby is going to be in works. In the works. It's going to be happening. You're either going to be watching or you're either going to be playing. No wonder we have a mental load. Like, that's crazy. I was like, no wonder women are excelling because during the eight hours. I mean, look, I play fantasy football, but I'm not watching the games. I'm watching my scores. And by the way, I had a comeback. I'm ranked number one right now. Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you. You know me. I'm not one thing. It's resilient. And I lost the first three games. And, you know, I love being the underdog. I love people not believing me. And I love rising like a phoenix from the ashes. And that's what I've done. Totally. And now I'm number one in the league. And, like, people need to put some fucking respect on my name. What's your team name? Oh, it's something really. Really stupid. Like, I don't know what it is. It's more about my aura. Yeah. OK. Another thing I learned about Hong Kong. Two things that we have to do when you go to a public restroom. They have like a sanitizer. So instead of just like wiping down the seat or putting toilet paper on, you take the toilet paper, you put the hand sanitizer on and you get to just like wipe down with like the actual germs. I don't want to do that. I just think it feels cleaner to me. I'm just squatting. It's like I think about it like, oh, 30 second workout squat. I actually have never squatted in my life. Like, life is too short. On a public toilet, you've never squatted? No. To pee? Maybe if there's no, like, toilet seat, then I'll. So you're putting toilet paper on the toilet seat to sit or you're just sitting? I'll put toilet paper or I'll wipe it down. With what? Toilet paper? With toilet paper. Like, you know, there's like. But how is that getting the germs? Exactly. I've never gotten the germs. You know, I went through a really weird phase of like two months in college where I was like, do you know you can get STDs from sitting on toilet seats? And it really scared me for like a solid two months. I don't know why. And then I like forgot about it. But I was like, you can get chlamydia. What happens between the time that someone flushes and you walk in that there's just tons of water all over the toilet seat? Like, did they dunk their head in it? Like, I don't even know how the water gets on the toilet seat like that. But I think that's pee. Oh, because someone was squatting. Yeah, because I was squatting. So you're peeing on the seat. I'm wiping it. No, I'm wiping. I'm wiping down my own pee if I pee on the seat. But also, I'm not peeing on the seat. I'm not like I can squat and. I've just embraced that like we're in a public bathroom. There's going to be germs. And public things are going to happen. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And wash your hands after. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also has electric vehicle SUVs, which like are everywhere. And they have these amazing seats that have massages. Like, why don't we have massages in our car? Did you go on their public trans transportation at all? Like, did you go on there? So, yes. So clean. How was that? No way. What's like what are the vibes on their subway? Culturally acceptable to like just like skip people online and stuff. And there's a freeness to that. Like, people will just like cut you. And you cut them. And you just like squeezing. And like, yeah, it's there's there's it's just like chaos in the most beautiful way. You're like, you're all going to get there eventually. And. Yeah. Yeah. No one's like, excuse me. I was scared in here. Oh, there's not someone like wielding a cucumber at your head. The subway. Oh, God. Oh, gosh. So anyway, you guys. Thank you so much for giggling with us today. We love you so, so much. Tomorrow's my birthday. So say a prayer to St. Anthony. Say a prayer to St. Anthony for Paige's birthday. Also, we still have tickets available in Ireland at the O3 Arena. And I think we still have some tickets in our fourth Madison Square Garden show. Check that out. And. Oh, yeah. We love you so much. And Daphne. We're launching Black. We're launching Black this week for my birthday, which I'm so excited. So check it out. And also, don't forget to vote. Guys, don't forget to vote today. Okay. Love you.