Giggling about scoliosis, sex life, and sore losers

What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Are we recording? Yeah, we're recording. Yeah. Like, are you having sex right now? Me? Yeah. No, the reason I'm asking that is. Phenomenal question. You know what I mean? Like, with the mouth? Yeah. Who's smell? Who's smell? I wish we were recording. We're recording. Okay, so one, we're making little jokes during sex because we're two comedians just being silly, and I laugh, he takes his hand and puts it over my face, and that's us being Wait, Kiki Palmer just did this whole. She did, like, an interview with someone, or maybe it was even on her podcast, but she was talking to someone, and she was like, I don't give off sex immediately, and when I'm having sex, I want it to be, like, fun and funny. And, like, it's hot in here, and, like, stuff like. She was like, and I feel like that's why I have a hard time. Like, what are you laughing about? I think that because, like, let's be honest, sex is awkward, so we get the giggles. So we're giggling, but he's annoying because, like, he'll, like, do some impression or something, and I'm, like, laughing, but then when I do something weird, he's like, can we please be serious? You guys are doing impressions in the bedroom? Like. I don't know, but comedians, we have. We have intimacy issues, so in that moment, instead of just being, like. Like, are you doing different voices? Yeah, instead of being yourself. You know what I do? I'll, like, pretend to be sexy, so I'll be like. Yes. I've been thinking about you all day. You smell so good. He'll be like, please stop doing that, and then I'm, like, laughing, and I'll be like, I like how you're looking at me. Like, that kind of shit. Like. Okay, so let's just say on an average, because everyone's different, and, like, everyone's schedule's different. You love getting into my sex life right now. What's the average, not even yours, that you think a married couple. Oh, good question. is? Not having sex, making love. Once every six months. Wait, what. Like, not. I'm just, like, fucking. Because when you're married, when you're fucking, like, that's got to count, too. No, it totally counts. I'm saying how often. Sorry, I haven't seen you in person, if you like, with the mouth. Well, you haven't. No, I haven't. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's so. It's so. I'm so sorry. It's so much crazy. I'm so upset, because I gave myself a pep talk last night, and it was like, it's getting so much better. It is. We've seen so much improvement. It is. And I just sat down, and Paige was like, holy fuck, this is way worse than we thought. No, your upper lip looks so good. It looks like you got lip injections. Okay, so this is what happened. One of the comments is like, Hannah, for the love of God, please put a lip tint on before you record the pod. Oh, okay. Because they don't like my pale lips. I told you to get those milk jelly ones. Which I love. Yeah. This is a side note. With these lip tints, they're always too, like, bright pink. Yes. Like, can we please make a. Like, Barbie-ish. Yeah, can we please make, like, a. You need, like, the Clinique. A mocha. Yeah. A little amber. Like, a cool tone. Anyway, so I put it on, the lip tint today, but I went, like, I tried to overline it with the lip tint, and then it looked like I sucked a rocket. Popsicle. Popsicle. Yeah. Like, I was just a kid whose parents forgot about them for, like, three hours and was, like, hyped up. And it was just red all over, so I put concealer as, like, a must. And, honestly, it kind of. No, it actually. It looked really good. It was kind of working. But, Paige, you know that I'm still. You guys know I'm trying to act, so I've, like, been auditioning. Yeah. Well. Well. Not now. So, when it happened, I literally was, like, how am I going to be an actor when I can't have a wide range of emotion? Yeah. So, I got an audition for, like, a cop. That was great. Where I'm basically, like, serious. But these are great. They're comedies. So, like, whatever. You know what I would love to know? You know when they're, like, saying, like, describing what the role is? Oh, my God. And then they send it to the agents, and they're, like, if you have anyone that you think, like, fits this description, what was the description of the cop that one of your agents was, like, I have the perfect client? It's always, like. I either play, like, lesbian, cop, funny friend. Yeah. Then, oh, yeah, I played a lawyer. That was an audition I did, a lawyer. But then this last one. I was supposed to be a funny best friend. Yeah. And at one point, I, like, I, like, look, I'm delusional. Yeah. And I actually now think I look good. We knew this was going to happen. I'm, like, it's. I look good. Yeah. Let's stop pretending this is a problem. People love it. And then I watch the audition, and I'm, like, oh, my God. Put me away. Yeah. Did they send it in? No. No. But there are some faces I'm making that aren't human. That's a thing. Yeah. It's one thing if, like, I was. I'm making a face that, like. That's not natural. Yeah. Like, no one's. Yeah. Like, you're. It's just. So, anyway, my acting career has been stalled for a second. So, we're just going to put that on pause. It's funny because. I took the Oscar off the manifestation board. Anytime they send me roles that they're, like, we think you'd be good for this, it always starts out, like, she's really bitchy, and. Like, guys, how many high school. Not high school, but. Actually, you just learn what your agents think of you. Yeah. It's funny. But I hate when they send me roles that I'm not going to get. Like, this one role. Yeah. I had a whole fight with it. Yeah. I had a whole fight with them because it was, like, we want a Pilates instructor girl. And I said, look, if I was a casting director, I'd want a tiny blonde. Yeah. And they were, like, no, we think you could be good. We think you could be good. I said, this is going to take a whole day, and I don't think it's worth it. And they're, like, no. I'm, like, if they cast a tiny blonde, I'm going to be fucking pissed. And did they? They cast. Yeah. You know what I've been asking for? No one listens to me. Voiceover auditions. Yes. Because you can sit during the whole thing. You don't need to have glam. You can just, like. It's. Well. It's a dream. Let's be honest. You really thrived during your audiobook era? No. No, I got so deep in the audiobook. I went back, and I did another thing for Calm app. Yes. And they were, like, do you know how. I go, I'm a pro. It's my favorite thing. You have a good voice. I don't know if I. I think. Thank you. I personally don't think. Have we been in therapy? No, but we've been texting. Trying to find a time. Sorry. Should I cover my mouth? I don't think I have a good voice, because it's my own voice. But I do think that voiceover is, like. People don't realize how. You can make so much money from voiceover, and you never even see them. Apparently, Will Arnett. Everyone thought he, like, stopped acting. Apparently, he does voiceover for, like, everything, and he's making, like, tons of money. Yeah. Also known as Amy Puller's ex. Right. You know, in my head, when people do say his name, that is the first thought. Amy Puller's ex-husband. Quick question. Are you happy that I walked in with a pimple? Just saw it. Now. No, that's, like. Okay. Actually, what just pissed me off is you asking that question, because that's barely a pimple. That's, like, a. That's, like. It's amateur hours. Yeah, that's, like, you sweat a little too much yesterday while you were. That's exactly what happened. basking in the sun, and your skin was, like, okay. It's not, like, a real pimple. I'm just sweaty in general. I don't have to bask in the sun. I just was sweating, like, on a couch somewhere. Once. Have you ever had, like, a real cystic? Well, I had a cystic, and I freaked out and went on Instagram. I was, like, who wants to stab me? Which, like, of course this happened to me. I'm, like, this is where I get my sources from Instagram. And then, like, the next day it went away. I was, like, never mind. So then it wasn't, because they don't go away in a day. I wonder if that's, like, hereditary. Like, you just don't. You've never had one? When I get pimples, I. Sorry, when I have my period, I get one pimple on my forehead. Yeah. And people are, like, no, it's supposed to be on your chin. Let women. Don't control our insecurities. Let women exist, okay? Also, I went to acupuncture. Oh, yes, in, like, someone's house. Actually, yeah. Everyone was, like, don't go. Don't go see Marianne. Marianne was the person just answering the phone, so I didn't mind that she didn't know what a masseter was. That's not her job. Marianne could have been a temp for all we know. Yeah. She could have been, like, covering for her friend. Yeah. Women supporting women. I was realizing I don't want a male acupuncturist. Like, I don't want a man with a weapon. No. Do you get male masseuse? I do like a male masseuse. I like a hard hand every now and then. My girl, Laura, who I, like. Do you know I've been getting a massage once a week? I know I didn't tell you this. Does she do stretches, too? She does it all. She's amazing. She, like. Wait, did I tell you my scoliosis thing? No. Okay, I'm getting a massage. It's just right before I leave for Italy. I'm getting a massage. And she's like, wow, you're, like. You're, like, really tight in your neck and your shoulders. Like, to the point where it's, like, athletic. She's like, what are you doing that you're so tight? And I'm like, I'm literally nothing. Like, walking. Like, maybe I'll do, like, a Sculpt Society workout, like, for, like, 20 minutes. Like, once a year. She's like, do you have scoliosis, like, a little bit? Because, like, your spine definitely isn't fully, like, in line. And I'm like. No, I'm 33 years old. Like, I would know if I had scoliosis. So, I'm, like, in Italy, and I'm telling my mom. I'm like, yeah, I'm just, like, my back is always so sore. I'm always doing back exercises. Like, always trying to do stuff for my posture. Like, getting a massage once a week. Is it because your torso is so short? I don't know. But I say to my mom, oh, my masseuse actually thinks I have, like, scoliosis a little bit. Like, do you have every spine you need to, like. Because your torso is only so long. My mom goes, you do kind of have scoliosis a little bit. Oh, you're going to put that in the report card. - I know, well, she goes, well, when it came time time to get you checked you didn't have it enough to say that you had scoliosis but you were right there oh you're on the cusp i was on the cusp and they were just thought whatever like but i'm like no i think i only have that's the same with your dyslexia well no you made that up i've gotten so many messages being like it's okay we know you're dyslexic and i'm like but i'm not i started the rumor that you're dyslexic and you got engaged i'm an engaged dyslexic dyslexic people are allowed to get engaged what are you trying to say drive i never said you can't drive i never said you can't drive so it's my scoliosis story so stewart fullerton who opens for me who's hilarious who everyone has to follow she's so fucking funny has a whole bit about how she was jealous of the girls that were like i got scoliosis did you like cool girls have scoliosis and she was like i want scoliosis no i i don't even remember getting checked for it it was like one day that was like it's scoliosis day and it was like during gym class and you had to take your shirt off and it was like super dramatic i like vaguely remember but i don't remember there being chatter after i had my turn i don't remember everyone huddling about it one thing we know about kim is she hid a lot from you to protect you she hid whenever you didn't get a role she was like they wanted a blonde do you know that she hid the ending of charlotte's web she read the book charlotte's web and she hid the ending of charlotte's web and she hid the ending of charlotte's web and she hid the ending of charlotte's web and she hid the ending of charlotte's web and she hid the ending of charlotte's web to me and then i went to school in the fifth grade and they all talked about charlotte's web and they said so sad when charlotte died and i said charlotte didn't die and they said yes she does at the end of the book i go no she didn't my mom read me the book that wasn't the ending charlotte lived happily ever after i went home i said mom we need to talk let her protect her baby she goes well you were so so young and i didn't want you to be upset that reminds me me i went to see bambi too early in my psyche yeah and the mom gets killed immediately which like who at disney was like you know how we should start this child film disney murderer mom loves a dead mom loves a dead mom the earlier the better it's like a tiktok like let's reel him in with a murdered mom so the first three seconds i was like appalled yeah and then throughout the movie i'm i can't enjoy it because i'm like where's the mom the more that i think about it really disney loves a dead parent it's actually kind of crazy think of any movie disney movie and there's always something going on with the parents yeah which snow white didn't even have parents no i mean the little mermaid who's her who's her daddy who's her mom who's your mom she doesn't have a mom king poseidon is her dad oh my mom had me stay till the movie started again to be like there's the mom wait so i was back and then as i'm relieving you here i saw a woman on tiktok who was like trying to tell her son are you fucking texting chris you're finally back with us and you're texting who's young jesse don't ever say the phrase young jesse talk we are business women we're business when we don't okay tell young jesse it's not his time speaking of working out because i actually have been doing my job i'm not doing my job i'm not doing my job i'm not doing my job i saw like my little app you're so cute well it's just like a 20 minute and i like it it's like chill and you want to know the best thing about working out at home you can pause it yeah like when you're at a workout class and they're like take a 10 second drink break like no bitch i need two minutes at least i need you to count to 60 twice because i can't do it in that time so like when you're working out at home it's like and you like feeling naughty to be like what if i just paused it and she didn't even know i took a longer break i'm like what if i did the second half after lunch who's gonna know but anyway nobody's gonna know i've been doing butt exercises as one does you're so mad you don't have bbl allegations you're every day you wake up trying to look for it obviously the summer i get a stomach virus there's bbl allegations going around about everyone but me like so annoying i couldn't even get on the ozempic allegation because there's now a parasite going around when i do butt exercises sometimes i have to like stop halfway through and not because it's like hurting my butt it's literally hurting my vagina like it and i'm very triggered when it comes to like feeling like i have a uti and that's the feeling i get it's almost like i have to pee i'm gonna say something so controversial yeah are you doing it in a thong what the fuck would that have to do with anything when it's inside of my body i'm sorry you're because you're already like being held by a string actually no because sometimes i do it in my put that long ass fingers down sometimes i do it in my pajamas and i have no underwear on so no and it still hurts your vagina yeah it just feels like i it's not that it's hurting does it feel like after a bike ride when you're like oh no it's not like it's like maybe you had sex and it's hurting from that and then you worked out it's not it's like it almost feels like my pelvis isn't strong like i need to do more kegels i do have to say the giggler doctors are exhausted by us they turn on the episode and they get out their notepad and they're like okay now we have to dig in and the only reason i think i'm more sensitive to it than other people don't save a small canal i'll kill you that factors into it but i think anytime i feel even the slightest resemblance of a uti i'm like you have ptsd yeah i freak out you have uti ptsd but but i have heard though that like working out with a thong like that for you it's bad because the the butt and the vagina are too close yeah and it can get movement yeah they can be here yeah move exactly like also grace made fun of me because we have some like cool cousins staying with us yeah and they have like um a bag full of stuff and i said this is their getting high stuff is that what i called it and grace just starts dying laughing i'm like what do you want me to say and then this is their like it's weed and des said pot no des's brother said pot and des was like they don't call it pot anymore this is in the 70s but like our family we're just we don't touch that stuff yeah and what was it a bag of wrapping papers and i smelled something in there you're literally a mom you want to know what's crazy is like you're gonna have kids and i'm gonna have to tell you things that they're secretly doing because i have ears and eyes and you're gonna be like flabbergasted no apparently kids no i'm not even get into it kids do stupid stuff i'm just the parent still to this day with everyone on instagram smoking kills it truly does my i saw my friend smoking something and i texted her smoking kills recently yeah in italy lucho made me smoke a cigarette with him and you want to know what i could only do half was it a skinny one yeah it was okay you liked how it looked it was like aesthetic but i literally thought of you right as i was sparking is it healthier in italy to smoke yeah it is okay yeah that's what i think it's healthier in italy it's healthier in europe to smoke because their food is better okay so i have to tell you guys something every summer i have at least three moments to smoke and i'm like oh my god i'm a week where i'm like wait why do i have dinner a rooftop girls night a weekend trip all in the next 48 hours and somehow you've packed two outfits for six events exactly and that's why i always end up on revolve it's genuinely where i go i don't want to overthink my outfit everything is styled in a way that actually makes sense and it already feels curated also if you're anything like us you panic order 12 options at midnight which i absolutely do i'm obsessed that the shipping's fast the returns are easy and suddenly i'm like oh my god i'm gonna have to smoke a cigarette your spiral becomes a strategy and what i love is i'll find one top i like and then revolve shows me similar options so i can build an entire look it's dangerous but it is efficient and you can literally shop by vibe so date night night out vacation meeting your boyfriend's friends and wanting them to think you're effortlessly cool they got it or running into your ex and thriving huge category i recently got this pink house a skirt and matching top and i got it from revolve i got it for a dinner downtown and it was one of those outfits that i was like oh my god i'm gonna wear it and i was like oh my god i'm gonna wear it and i was like oh my god i'm gonna wear it and everyone just kept asking me where it was from and you know that's my favorite also the amount of times i've gone on there thinking i just need one outfit and then 30 minutes later i've planned my entire summer is honestly very impressive so whether it's a girl's night a date or one of those i need to look hot but not like i tried too hard moment revolve always has it go to revolve.com slash giggly and use code giggly for 15 off your first order fast shipping easy returns it just works that's revolve.com slash giggly you can shop our faves and get 15 off your first order offer ends august 4th so don't miss out so my cousin cara who is the originator of the lasagna story she has two little boys now i get over to her house and she goes the boys are downstairs being shy now one thing about kids you're not gonna be shy around aunt hannah yeah you're not yeah so i go downstairs and one thing about me i will rile these kids up so immediately i'm like you're ready to play i said hannah's hungry to eat little feet so then i oh and you can do a character with this face actually they were probably all that they were like trump no but little boys they love running so i'm like i'm gonna get you so they start yelling we're running they're chasing so i'm chasing these little boys and there's two of them so they're they're hard you know and they're fucking these little kids are fucking fastest kids i've ever met so i'm running around this like basement is lois the same where like she's hyper because i feel like when you're with lois you're doing like table activities you're coloring you're doing arts and craft she's gonna put an outfit on you're gonna tell her how good she looks well lois will like steal you and be like okay this is my world yeah she's like she'll shut the door and she's like i'm a princess you have to save me and i'm like lois i have so much to do today and she's like i'm gonna but she'll be like i'm gonna die like she'll like get all dramatic and i'm like okay i'll save because if i'm around kids i do this with dogs too like get them all riled up and then i leave yeah and i if i'm around kids i see who comes to me and like what they're like i'm never going to them no i'm like this kid doesn't know i'm about to be his best friend yeah but i don't do it like i wait for eye contact i'm not a monster but you know you give a little funny face kids love a funny face yeah they do i know they love asama they love a funny face not your no my humor is actually two-year-old kid like once i get him going i'm like i'm killing today where i'm like i wish there was like a kitchen table activity we could do yeah so we're running around and then we start playing baseball and one of the kids gets upset because he like wasn't playing he played great by the way he like missed one thing and he's really hard on himself yeah and he's afraid of being called a sore loser is this bad i'm spilling like all the tea on her son um he's like can i have privacy for one second but he it was so cute because he goes upstairs and he's like everyone's gonna call me a sore loser so then i'm in that moment like i'm not gonna let my baby be upset and i go upstairs and i say you're not a loser and he goes sore loser yeah he's like i'm a sore loser and he goes everyone thinks i suck and i was like i was i was taught gossiping about you no one said that they've said other things no one's a loser oh my god this is anxiety really this is and like i'm feeling connected to him because like in that moment when i felt like a loser i wanted someone to make me feel good so i was like he literally had the like everyone hates me he literally was under the covers everyone's talking about how i didn't get the ball by the way he's so good at baseball too yeah so he's just that's just me like on my way here today you know i'm like everyone hates me on the sidewalk like they can't believe i stepped outside today so honestly parenting's so interesting because you get to like relive childhood trauma so then i look at him and i said regardless what you feel you can be two people you could be i'm giving him a speech like a movie i'm like you could be lying here for the rest of the day or you can be the comeback kid oh you gave him a phrase i said so i'm gonna be down there holding the ball waiting for you to put your shoes back on and for you auditioning for you for you to hit a home run and if you want to be the comeback kid who can deal with adversity he's like i don't know what adversity means i'm like just go with it i think the comeback kid is a movie and actually kevin costner it didn't work and oh he still won't leave the room still won't leave the room okay now he's liking the attention okay now at that point you're done i'm done no i'm canceling my plans i said we have an emergency on our hands at that point i'm like you don't want to have fun with everyone else then you can sit in high by yourself because we're all going to be outside having fun no you're right if i was a mom that's what i do but i'm the fun aunt also i was getting in trouble because kids love being called like poopy head so once i know their humor i'm like throwing it around i'm like stop poopy head which like i can't even bring myself to like i go what's up fart face i think it's so funny and kara is like hannah all we've been trying to do is get them to stop saying fart and poop and that's all you've done like i'm literally the worst enabler yeah but then after we played baseball typical italian family we go to um a big italian restaurant chicken parmesan all this stuff forgot i had pilates after that's let's just say i dealt with adversity that day i feel like you're the kind of person that is never canceling a class no because the late fee would keep you up at night the late fee and then also just disappointed in myself for not being able to uh do what i was supposed to do i don't have that kind of guilt i in my head i'll say you can't put a price on convenience like if i want to cancel because it's convenient for me and i'm getting charged the slate fee my convenience is worth so much more than the slate fee i walked in i said i have calamari up to my throat right now one wrong move i don't know what's gonna happen throughout the class i got i got lucky like it was a moon the stars um but it was scary do you feel like you're having an intense mercury retrograde yeah i've been shot i've been shot i can't believe you chased kids around saying you're gonna bite their feet with your face looking like that actually that's probably why he was crying really terrifying i'm like still scared because even if you came into my home right now i'd be scared of that okay i just want to say one thing when you shamed me for gargling with peroxide i have had so many nurses doctors just regular girls dm me and say it's the best thing ever and totally acceptable and it's crazy i don't have one of those messages well because you're with the salt water people you're with the salt water people and my team we're taking we're just going right to peroxide and drugs is it actually hydrogen peroxide or is it like a specific kind of thing no just hydrogen peroxide what if like what if you slip and like you inhale what do you mean like swallow it i don't know i think you're fine can we talk about how hard it is to actually inhale weed no literally just you drink from a straw yeah but like okay then you could smoke because i thought you just breathe and it goes in you have to like like actually feel it go you know what i actually think is really hard what when you're smoking a cigar you're not actually smoking a cigar like if you were to inhale that everyone's like oh you would get so sick or like you'd get so dizzy like no one's inhaling it actually when we go on our family vacation because we go at like the same time every year there's also people that are also there at the same time every year there's this like older couple like older obsessed with them already the guy sits in a chair and the wife like lays down on the thing he i've never seen this he chews a cigar the whole day he's had a long life nothing else actually he got taken out by the stomach virus because one day i didn't see him one day i didn't see him and i thought hmm i wonder where he is maybe he swallowed and because there's no hippa in italy i found out from the one of the pool guys that he isn't back sick i love it there's no hippa in italy when hippa sounds italian um also because i love now i love like red pill dating shows the girls made me watch the ultimatum oh on netflix someone got kicked off because of how awful they spoke to their partner in text messages like immediately producer stepped in and they were like this is yes kicked him off then a couple episodes later nickel no a couple episodes later this is so crazy so they get so someone gives an ultimatum like hey if you don't want to marry me like i'm gone we're gonna do this first of all it's okay i have so much to say actually i need to collect my thoughts it's a ridiculous premise of a show because if anyone is doing this show you guys are already fucked as a couple but like i digress it's great imagine the motherfucker you're like you know what would make this better if we actually did this on tv no it would be better is if you went and lived with a different girl for three weeks wait wait don't tell me don't tell me just wait for the show yeah like so anyway so someone gives an ultimatum in the couple they couple up with other people they live with other people for a couple weeks to see if the grass is greener or if they want to go back to the show it's just like making the breakup at least monetizing a breakup yes eventually they all end up like breaking up now while this one girl is that wasn't a spoiler we don't know for sure while this one girl is coupled up with not her boyfriend who she's doing the experience with they're going somewhere and she sees on his phone that he's texting his group chat the group chat is talking about how his his original girlfriend is blonde and has big boobs and now the girl he's coupled up with is brunette and she has no no boobs or ass and she hasn't like slept with him all guys text about it's so crazy but then the friends go on to say well what if we just like hooked up with what if we just like fucked her basically and the guy she's coupled up with like texts back in the group and is like that's wild or like that's crazy so she sees the text messages and she's like dude the blonde girl no this isn't even his girlfriend it's the girl he's coupled up with got it so she sees all the messages and she's like what like this is this is insane and like really scary she tells his girlfriend and that girl's kind of like yeah like this is like him like my thing about these kinds of shows is i think in the year 2026 it's getting to a point where the girl is like oh my god i'm casting these men who have psychological issues like it's not just like oh he's like a bad dude and he like goes on on dates with a bunch of women like no they're methodically thinking about how to like control these girls this one guy said to the girl he was coupled up with not his actual girlfriend if your fiance or boyfriend or husband didn't want you to hang out with someone would you listen to them and the girl was like well who's the person my friend of 20 years like no i'm not listening and he was like in shock and so it's just it's very scary it's very weird well men are afraid that like they're not masculine if they don't like have control i don't yeah the number one thing i will say that i've learned for a relationship whether it's a best friend or a partner the number one thing is that you respect each other and i don't mean respect in like a like you like i say please and thank you like i mean like respect like in your heart you respect their opinion yeah you respect how they carry themselves yes that is how you like if you hear something like that someone said or did and your initial thought is like i would never do that to my partner yeah or like that's a good thing like there are some people that are just like i mean i've dated guys that i don't respect and like yeah you you're still calling your mom every day a hundred percent and like or if and if they don't respect you you know that in your core and that's why you start feeling bad about yourself yeah so just find so many respects let's like start with that yeah that's good and yeah i mean he needs to make your life easier not harder if he's making it harder it's not for you there's a woman who died okay and it's not funny how getting nad iv from an unlicensed doctor in the bronx and the second i saw that i had chills up my spine because i was like bitch that could have been me that could have been me wait an unlicensed doctor in the bronx like a holistic i don't know the details i just know that like if you looked into it he wasn't licensed but like i don't know when you're just getting an iv i'm not like researching the person i feel like no you're never gonna get iv again she died instantly instantly like within a couple hours from an nad plus i mean i don't know the facts she either fell over on the table or something like that fell over on the table wait the day she got it she died the day of nad which is a thing that like heli bieber takes to like try to live longer or something so like anyway just you guys there's a lot of shit going on please find doctors and i'm speaking to myself right now find doctors that have like that went to school yeah maybe an ivy league you know in my in my um findings through i feel like the men are actually talking about like peptides way more than i hear any girls talk about it yeah because they're all about like maximizing their testosterone why did i say that correctly no and if i hear another man bring up his testosterone level to me i'm actually going to stab because the only thing that's proven is more testosterone means more murders and that's statistically and also don't come to me with a lot of stuff like that because i'm not going to hormonal issue when my hormones change every single week like what what's really happening in your life that is so bad that your testosterone is going down a little like what are their side effects they don't have as much of a sex drive okay good welcome to the last month the last week of every month of my life like good put it away for a minute there's also a point where like we don't need just like jacked up men running around everywhere like at some point learn knitting i don't need it at all at some point read it read a book also like for the peptides do an ab workout first and then just like see if you need it i just feel like men are like really quickly doing peptides are not scientifically proven we're not on them yet we'll tell you what we do but that like they don't know long-term effects of like what it's doing to your insides we have sensitive bodies we have really or we just can't just jump into things the way other people can no like we can't just like oh i'll try it for the first time because we all have that friend who's like i went to the back of a truck and injected my lips and they look great and i'm like i wish that could be me it is crazy though now that you know we've lived so many years on this planet how we see trends do you know that i hate to say this but last year i bought like a bunch of stuff from and i was really excited for it and i went through my closet i didn't wear any of it and i donated it today because it's all too trendy like it's like not like if i wore it now people would like what give me an example of one item like it was like a long sleeve denim like frilly 70s shirt i mean you would have never gotten in first place but like at the time i love when you talk to yourself and i'm passionate about that well my first thought is you who sweat so much who are you putting on a denim shirt long sleeve shirt you're gonna sweat right through that when i shop i envision i'm someone who has completely different than who you are the stuff i buy i want to meet the girl you shop for because she's quirky she's never bloated in her life she's she loves a corset on a wednesday night she's for sure from like a different time period i'm so interested i get crazy colors all i want to wear is a baggy black outfit and my my closet is like sparkles orange green patterns frills what what's like your closet organization these days what's like i feel like i haven't seen your closet living in like a couple months half my closet's literally from just my tour which is like your tour i had to get like tons of squirts and tons of white button-down shirts okay i have a whole thing of ties that like i lived off of for like seven months okay oh i thought you were saying like you didn't unpack from your tour no i unpacked but it's like i'm like i can't get myself to throw away these squirts i feel like i might use them one day my daughter i love a squirt i love a squirt i love a summer like okay i came back from italy on a thursday i was unpacked laundry by what's today monday i like admire you i got i landed from italy took a shower did a hair mask did a face mask fell asleep in a room this is why we're so good together we both have work ethic just very different ways completely different ways we're working in the places well because my environment very much affects my brain where you can your better at staying focused and like not worrying about what's around you i think it's because i've always been in like chaotic situations but i can like focus on one thing not that i'm like doing well at it i'm just like focusing on it it's even like the last episode everyone was calling me out for having cat hair on my mic which is so valid okay try having a cat one time but like i'm upset that like i never once in my vagina like it's everywhere the hair was like touching my lip the entire time not once did i notice that it was like full of hair and that's kind of my vibe because i like convenience it's and you want to know what i can get too much the opposite that's why like i need doses of you to be like let's be crazy and leave a spoon in the sink yeah like chill out it does not everything has to be like perfectly coordinated but like for example i bought a vibration plate right i really stressed me out to open it up oh it's an easy open where do i want to put it it's an easy open because it's literally just the vibration plate and the remote they don't give you any other it's no like frills i put it in my bathroom like under my sink so that when i'm doing like my skincare at night i just do it my mom would love you because she said everything has a home you gotta put things away everything has a home well my amazon boxes were stacking up and my our cats we have in west hampton made a run for it and they got on the box right where the door was and they opened the door wait what shameless and freckles they literally are two little genius bandits granted they're so open the door and went outside so in the morning the door is wide open i said where the where are my little boys aiden just shook the treats and they came right back where were they like where'd they go just hanging out on the porch hanging on the floor and the cats are just so cool they're so i love that we're like we're not actually like hey there's weed here they're like did you hear hannah that fucking nerd there's a joint on the table they're like what if we just hey heard there's smoking stuff here but they're like i'm not crossing the street there's like eagles and shit over there but let's just get some breeze some fresh breeze came right back in but i was like okay we have to put the amazon boxes away well you want to know what you your door wasn't locked well that's another problem that's insane that's insane you watch so many murder documentaries I can't even, like, not only do my doors have locks, they have bolts at the bottom that you, like, flip over. So even if it did get unlocked and the door got open, you're not getting through my bolt. You're not getting through my bolt. Try getting through my bolt. Yeah, try getting through it. You're not. Also, I went to my acupuncture appointment. I was saying. Oh, right. That's how we started. She was a girl. Obsessed with her. I immediately loved her energy. Immediately, somehow, we got into her telling me all about how her ex-boyfriend pissed her off. And then she became an acupuncturist. And then he, one day, decides he wants to be an acupuncturist. So now he shows up at all these places because there's only so many acupuncturists on Long Island. So she has to deal with him. So you went to, like, conventions and stuff? Yeah, like, acupuncture meetings and stuff. So, like, that was, I got. That is so weird. I was like. It's in every field. Every field. Every industry. I said. Oh, my God. I was telling her about. Yeah, I was like, honestly, like, same. Yeah. So that was really fun. Okay, so will you go back to acupuncture? Oh, I really liked it. Where'd they do it? So they put it in my feet. Okay. And my hands to help circulate, like, detox. Okay. And granted, I'm not a good example right now because my mouth is still stuck. However, I did feel like. Then she did, like. It's called. Your lips are definitely moving better, though. You know what was crazy? When I first started, I was. I couldn't move my lips. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, by the end of the pod, I was so tired from trying to move my lips. That's the other thing people don't talk about. Your face gets, like, sore. Yeah. Because you're like, I'm trying to talk. Trying so hard. Yeah. Also, like, are you guys going to miss me when I'm gone? Yeah, I am. Like, this version of me. Like, are you, like, going to even like me when I have a normal smile? When you can smile. I'm just going to, like, we're definitely going to have to do some. Some type of, like, in memoriam. You know, like, we're definitely going to have. I thought you were going to be like, we definitely have to add a new story to your personality because you'll be lacking. We'll definitely have, like, some type of service because she is her own person. She has, like, totally a different personality than you. Really? Well, I am, like, a little more deadpan. And you're, like, a bit more emotional on, like, certain things where you're, like. Life is hard. And you're usually very optimistic and, like, you're, like, look at this. At the end of the day, everyone will die if I have anything to do with it. You know? So, I'm not used to you being like that. We're, like, hey, that's my 9 to 5. Like, that's me all the time. I'm also, like, as an athlete, you guys know, if I didn't get injured, I would have known. As an athlete, I'm obsessed with, like, being. Well, I'm not that obsessed with being in my physical prime. But, like, I like making sure that I'm capable. Yeah. I like. Like, if anything were to break out or happen, you are. Ready. Ready. Able. Yes. You are sitting in the exit row of the plane. You're ready. You're able. You're willing. I'm not prime time. But, like, I try to make sure that I'm not, like, in bad. Like, if my back hurts a little, I try to fix it. Like, I can't, like, run a mile. But, like, I can get my knees up. Yeah. In the beginning. Totally. Or no. You're in shape. I feel like an injured bird. Just walking around New York City and everyone else is just smiling, smiling, smiling. Yeah. I've never seen more smiley people in my life. Yeah. And taking it for granted. Well, I think that's the thing. When something like this happens, you really take inventory of, like, how much in your body you take for granted. Like, even if your, like, thumb is hurting, you're like, I don't realize how much I use my fucking thumb. Side note. There, you know when, well, you know when you have a hangnail? How do you approach a hangnail? Because I feel like we, me and you would approach it in two very different ways. I take the nail clipper and I cut it really short. Okay. I pull it, obviously. Yeah, of course. And then it goes a whole lot. Well, because at first I'm like, imagine. Yeah. I have the most painful, like, hangnail bruise. Like, I've never had something more painful in my life. Like, to the point where, like, it woke me up this morning. It's, like, throbbing. Yeah. You gotta throw a little neop. Get a little hydroderm peroxide and then throw a little neospore. Hydroderm peroxide. I'm a dunk it and I'm a lick it. Yeah. So, yeah. And I'm like, remember when my. Finger. I used that finger. Yeah. Yeah. No, there's nothing worse than, like, something being wrong with your body. When you have to, like. But one thing, shout out to my man. Shout out to my mans. Because he makes me feel beautiful. And I've been hanging out with him too much. And now that I'm, like, in the public. You guys have been hanging out together a lot. And, like, I forget about my smile when I'm with him. Yeah, that's. Because he just, like, treats me like I'm normal. Occasionally he'll laugh, but it's cute. But, like, again, I'm like, he's obsessed with me. And then I talk to someone else and they're like, Hey, is everything okay at home? In sickness and in health. So, in my head, I was like, I actually look pretty when I smile. Wait, do you know that I saw, like, a crazy statistic? And I don't remember what it is. But that, like, the comparison to, like, when women get sick, like, their husbands leaving compared to, like, when men get sick, like, their wives leaving. When you say leave, you mean, like, break up? Yeah, like divorce. Like, when something physically happens. Imagine you get a sniffle and they're like, we're good, babe. No, but I was thinking, like, imagine if Des was, like. Burn her at the stake. It's been fun. Babe, I'm out. Yeah, it's, like, it's not even comparable. Like, obviously, there are women, like, that happens where they will leave. But, like, it's not even comparable to the amount of men that leave. Imagine Des texting his friends being like, this bitch can't smile and I can't handle it anymore. No, it's crazy. Is your girlfriend smiling? Because mine hasn't smiled in weeks. I just. The audacity that they have. Okay, wait, this is fascinating. What are you going to do the first time you can smile? Just not stop. I'm going to be like Nicole Kidman after her divorce. Do you think you'll wake up one morning and it'll just be like. You'll have so much more movement. Des said not to check it till the end of August. What? What do you mean? He said, do you know how many roles I'm going to lose by then? You have to look in the mirror. I don't really look in the mirror that often. Right. Oh, right. But I really, like, think it's better. It is. This is what's coming across my algorithm. I don't know what this means. And this is a study, by the way. And by study, I mean this actual blind girl says she sees how hot people are treated because she can't see if they're hot or not. Yeah. So she will say. Okay, I'm going to get it, like, wrong because I don't remember exactly what she said. It was, like, two weeks ago. But she said something along the lines of there'll be people that I hear who are, like, boring as shit and everyone wants to be friends with them. And she goes, that's how I know they're hot. And she goes, there's people who, like, have no personality and everyone talks about them a lot. She goes, that's how I know they're hot. Or, like, she could tell, like, how, like, nice people are to people. So imagine not knowing someone's hot and being like, why is everyone obsessed with that dud? Yeah. It's like if. Sometimes I would try to think, like, especially when I was, like, being really shallow with men and I'd be really into an attractive man, I'm like, imagine he was ugly. Imagine he was short. Would you like his soul? But it's hard. It's hard to separate the art from the artist. It's such a double-edged sword. You can't separate the art from the artist sometimes. No, there's so many men that I'm like, oh, my God, if you were under six foot, no one would even be listening to what the fuck you're saying. It's so annoying. And I envision, like, if this guy didn't have a cute face. And because. Because also I think it's the opposite for women. Like, if there's a really pretty girl and she does even one thing, people are like, yeah, burn her. But it is funny how socially it's like people want to hang out with pretty people more. Mm-hmm. Like, in friendships and stuff. But, no, as a woman, I did see a girl say that, you know, you're an it girl if you were 16 and you had beef with a middle-aged woman. I sent it to you. That's. You know what? Cock head. Cock head. And I do love when you have glam, but I love when you're yourself, too. I did my makeup today. I put on blush. I did put on blush. Actually, I do apologize that I have, like, full glam today, but I've been going to. You look so, like, natural. Thank you. Like, glowing. I'm going to Vogue, just, like, Vogue summer school. Yes. They do, like, little sessions. Yes. So I'm going to, like, talk to some high school girls. You'll be like, I'm gonna bite your little feetsies. No, I'm just kidding. Sorry, it's Leo season. My whole feed is Leo season. Oh, your birthday's coming up. Oh, my God, it is. I haven't thought about it at all. Wait. I'm going to be able to smile for her birthday. Wait, you're turning 35? Yeah. Is that a big birthday? I feel like, yeah. What should we do? I don't know. We'll just FaceTime. Oh, it's fine. We'll FaceTime. I won't be able to express joy on my birthday, but it's fine. We love you guys so much. Have an amazing weekend. And we'll giggle with you later. Bye.