Giggling about robbers, ringworm, and riffing

what's up gigglers carrie fix the wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed i mean the day just got away from me hello my guava gigglers good news it's a morning pod so shit's about to go down me texting by the way she's been yelling at me all morning she's like i want to record a hannah she literally wrote to the group text hannah like you yelled at me in the group hannah it was 1001 she wrote hannah now you're texting when we start i just have so much going on oh yeah you do have a photo shoot tonight and i took a red eye on saturday night so like i'm i'm messed i'll never recover until next weekend if i do a red eye i'm out for the month no i literally can i tell you i haven't had a no i can't say that because i just got back from newport i know but you've been going too hard and i know i've been worried about you and i've been i'm i'm your only real friend yeah you're the only one who's been bringing it up to you everyone else is yes people around you guys everyone's like yeah add another day add another day hannah's like take a nap i'm like she's the only one that cares about me i'm the only one because i know like you love glam but too many consecutive days of glam is not good for your no and then i'm so excited to get micro needling on saturday i accidentally get hannah facetimes me yesterday to bring up something serious i go i'm kind of dealing with a lot already what do you want to say to me i love how we tell stories to the gigglers like we're at dinner and there's a friend i'm like tell them about tell them about no i'm so excited to facetime you on a sunday like that's the best time to facetime and you're in a mood i'm in your nose is red and you're in a mood you go i can't even think right now i can't riff with you i couldn't even rip you couldn't riff that's how i knew it was bad you couldn't riff no but then i warmed you up and you were fine but at first you had that like when a kid falls and looks at you like what's my next move you're like should i cry and i'm like it's okay it's okay it's okay because there's certain things about my personality that are that i can count on no matter what and it's like i never lose things i'm always on time like so when one of those things goes awry what is that life like you never lose things i've never found anything you know my dad called me the other day because he's i have his personality which like i just i can't believe it he calls me the other day he's like you're never gonna guess i freaking lost something i go come on i go come on dad he goes i know and you're the only person that gets as upset as i do i go i can't have that you gotta find it that's like when my mom or des like take the wrong direction somewhere because they're my directional sherpas yeah so when they take a wrong turn i'm like i'm what am i supposed to do now you're like well i don't know okay so i saturday first of all i was in newport the southern california girls were you gonna tell the rest of the country that you're living like that like it's not a real place it's like whatever so i'm like out and about like walking around seeing the sights i put sunscreen on and then i get back to the hotel and i'm like i have a sunburn and like how could i have possibly gotten a sunburn i prepare for things like this so anyway i'm like maybe it'll get better so i like doing all my face masks i'm getting aloe gel i'm putting it on i'm like i have to get microneedling on tuesday they're not gonna let me get it sure enough i text the girl and i'm like i have a little sunburn she goes weeks like we can't do this and i waited all summer to get my last microneedling i'm crazy we're doing a callback only three minutes in but good you have too many yes people in your life someone needs to say no to you no and where i go to get my microneedling they just text me which is just like nice like don't send me an email it's getting lost in the abyss so i text her and i'm like hey i'm having an emergency i have a sunburn she was like yeah it's best if we do it in like a week or two well that's why i haven't done it because i'm i'm playing paddle i'm playing tennis i'm going on mental health walks there's a lot of people i don't listen to in the world a plastic surgeon is i'm listening to her if she says no let's wait it could damage your skin i'm waiting um one thing that i don't think people know is that i have my own friendship with who with your boyfriend oh it's not a friendship or is it like we're best friends it's basically all the sides that you don't have that i'm like we connect i become a full person when he's around that like you're interested in no we bond in the way you should we bond over that we both are obsessed with you so he will text me things about you that he knows will make me laugh so last night at 11 p.m he goes pages up for a midnight snack um i can hear the ruffles in the kitchen okay you can now speak your truth were you scurrying around in the kitchen oh you're interested in what my midnight snack situation is yes okay come to the right home come on martha stewart tell us what you were doing first of all uh my parents called me sunday morning like when i get home from the red eye and i was like oh my god i'm so happy like my flight landed because i'm making buffalo chicken wing dip today in my crock pot my dad called me trash also if we still had facebook that would have been your facebook status making buffalo chicken dip today absolutely that was your old personality yesterday my dad was like you're trash well italians are like make a bolognese yeah make bologna it's sunday sauce he actually said that to me he goes buffalo chicken wing dip your mother's over here making a bolognese what the hell are you doing over there so whatever i was shamed into my buffalo chicken wing dip then i made cupcakes you made sprinkle cupcakes you made aesthetic cupcakes and then i didn't really eat because i filled up on buffalo chicken wing dip so at like 11 p.m i was like oh i have a hankering for some like carbs so my midnight snack is usually one of three things quesadilla in the microwave oh my god whoa you're starting hard yeah quesadilla in the microwave i had sour cream and salsa so it's basically like you're like uh what it's fucking mushroom star like this is what i waited to be an adult for yeah toast with butter and jelly and i had some like italian hard rolls so that was really up there those were the two contenders and then my third is always my fallback cereal last night i chose to have a quesadilla in the microwave oh with a ginger ale oh my god love that reminds me at university of wisconsin we go badgers we took wheat thins so it's already like sweet and like heavy and then we take cheese curds which is like a wisconsin thing how did you not choke well then you melt it over the wheat thins and it was the most like oh my god it was like nachos for a college kid yeah it was like nachos midwestern nachos it was so good um also not to we know this is the comedy pod we want to forget about all the horrible things of reality but we just have to we just have to say um fuck the cornell seven the fact that you can see the text message like and read the text message is so chilling bone it's actually bone chilling like it's and the casualness of like this wasn't the first time this is what i mean when i talk about like gen z which i think they're younger than gen z but like when i say i when i say gen z i mean everyone younger than me but whatever age they are this is what i mean when i when i'm talking about the younger boys are seeing so much online that's like so i saw a tweet that was again bone chilling that like people care more about these men's futures than this current girl's right like women are expected to like live with trauma but men are not like live with the trauma that they caused her but men are not expected to like have an inconvenience in their like future also i would argue that we should stunt their future because i don't want these creepy sick dudes to then be in places of power and making decisions and inflicting it on more women like it's the kind of thing where the there's a reason people should get in trouble when they do something wrong and then you wonder like how did this even happen that someone was like oh these guys should just write an essay because they they clearly were confused and need to write it out um it was just four old white dudes sitting in a room being like well we seven men's lives we can't affect what if i told you that that's what these men need like this is unsafe for them to just run free now they realize there's no repercussions like i can't wait for you to have a daughter to realize that women are humans here's the other thing like they were in college which that's young as fuck college is young as fuck where the hell did you learn that in the like four years that you were on earth before you went to college like when was that in your brain that like if a girl is passed out you could just sleep with her and then tell your friends someone also told me at a very young age that like and trigger warning i'm gonna use the word rape is violence it's it's a crime like the fact that they're they're 1920 and like no one was in jail like it's it's assault yeah i also feel like like when my little cousin told me she was going to college i immediately felt scared for her yeah so i'm looking at her and she's been in her parents house and being taken care of and i know for a fact there's a very high percent chance that when she leaves to college something bad's gonna happen and i also want to add to it and it's this situation as well it's mostly someone you know this was a guy friend that she texted yeah in situations i've had in college it's it's a friend group it's not a oh um someone kidnapped me in a corner and attacked me no these are people that you think you trust that then take advantage of you and then are like whoopsie miscommunication it's disgusting it's like i feel so bad for her she left school like i i can't even imagine i think one of the scariest part too is that because it was in like a group chat there wasn't one guy that texted back and was like dude what like what the are you talking about i also would argue it's kind of weird to say like you have to educate your sons not to take advantage of women like shouldn't that be innate like as good people you don't do that yeah that's like don't punch kittens yeah educate them don't punch a kitten no shit i'm not gonna punch a kitten right i hate to reduce it to that but it's like okay kids and you inherently know you don't kill animals so why would you think you could go to college and just like assault a girl but that's why it's good people are speaking up now because i hope there's tons of boys and men having this conversation there is something about like feminism is not being like fuck all the men feminism is hating misogyny i saw a quote that was really good and it was like and it said feminists are women who hate what men have done to them and men who hate feminists hate women for what women haven't done for them um like i don't hate men i i hate what men can do and real men are feminists yeah real men don't get offended when you're like i hate all men like they're like yeah you hate like loser guys i'm like yes so anyway sorry kitty just put her paw up to me like when you don't see your cat's body and you just see a paw it's like to coming toward you it's i can't explain that feeling anyway no smooth transition but um i watched the vmas did you sundays have become my day where like i can i have a day can i have a day sundays have become my day where i'm like really not watching tv and not on my phone because i'm knee deep in a crock pot and yesterday getting off a red eye at a very extensive girl shower and girl day so i did miss the vmas but i saw like some stuff of the dresses online what were your thoughts the vmas is like i don't like consider it like a real carpet because you can show up in like a balloon if you wanted to but it is like music like it gets they're more like characters yeah i see it as like a fun like yeah the theme is whatever you want it to be and then it's like how they express yourself yeah so i see it as like fun i thought taylor swift looked very good i did too now as someone who's not a swifty like i haven't listened to any of the songs have you listened um yes i have as someone who's not a swifty who doesn't like go 10 toes down for her for like everything she does because i don't see everything she does i think i can also be objective when people are hating her yeah because you're like i don't have skin in the game yeah i don't have skin in the game but now then like when people are mean to her then i then i feel bad for her so i was happy that she looked as good as she did at the vmas because they know she's been getting a lot of hate i also she did say something at the vmas where she just was like i love creating and i think i feel the same way and when you're so mean to someone they stop creating so part of is like hey not everything's gonna be like what you envisioned she was gonna do right like you don't have to every time she does something then be like she's gone we lost her and she sucks now like that's why people go crazy where it's like you're only as good as like the last thing your last podcast like imagine we put out like a horrible last episode and people are like they're done i'm like yeah look page had a uti i'm dealing with my house you deal with different things at different times right and her putting out a bad song doesn't negate all the other good ones like it's not like you forget about them it is kind of fun to be like oh like now she's in love and she's writing about people love all the theories oh she's writing something that travis understands like people are trying to like connect i'm actually shocked she even came out with music i thought for sure no i know she was pulling an anne hathaway yeah and just disappearing i thought she would disappear but that's why i'm like let her cook like let her create i do think award shows and granted look well this is my thing with like awards lists when i get it i'm like i can't take this seriously yes like if i'm on a list i'm like this is a made-up list but then like if you see other people on this you're like that's great for like that's amazing um but as i get older i realize like everything's made up awards are made up also the the voting of vmas i guess is like fandom it is yeah like the fans vote yeah actually i think i knew that but like i feel like there's some i feel like there's weird stuff going on it's the same way i feel for any competition show i'm like guys maybe the fans did vote but if we're talking if we're talking tv ratings there's a producer somewhere in that like people get really upset yeah thinking like things aren't 100 real also like i've never voted for a vma i've never even seen where you could vote yeah i didn't even know the vmas were happening like usually there's like a bunch of commercials there's like pro promotion i didn't even snoop dog hosted who knew who knew so you know they went from a football game straight into the vma so like honestly like taylor is kind of like the ecosystem of all of this stuff like and like during the chiefs game they were they're like look all we have to do is vote for the vma do one commercial during the chiefs game that taylor swift is dropping her new music video at the vmas which is coming up next so everyone was like okay um and dakota johnson was in the video the video is patient zero which actually like i feel like everyone can relate to the concept of patient zero which is you ever date a guy and he ruins your life and when i say ruin your life i mean like you're like oh i can't eat i can't sleep this oh that's oh that's abuse yeah and then he's on to the next girl and for a second i was like oh my god i can't sleep i can't eat i can't sleep you think like oh but he's gonna treat her differently and then you realize oh he's hasn't done any work on himself he's the same thing and then i've seen a girl like date a guy i dated and like she started losing weight and i was just all i wanted to do was hold her and be like you're not crazy yeah you're not stop making yourself smaller like you're actually your whole life is after this relationship but like because i was patient i probably wasn't the first no but i was one of the i saw a girl and one time and i look we saw each other from across the room and we had never met and i'm not kidding it was like biblical the way we locked eyes because we locked eyes across the room and in my head i said you're not crazy and like then we started coming toward each other and i was like the amount of times i've wanted to text you and be like but i felt like i didn't want to get involved and like who am i to say anything and she was like i know i i see like we just looked at each other and was like i see you there's been like these girls that dated a guy i dated and i didn't really know them and then after they broke up they started commenting on my photos like cutie love you and i was like oh that's how that's literally a full dissertation of her being like i know exactly what you went through he talked so bad about you and at first i was like how oh and now i'm like wait can i tell you that i've even been on the other side where i've been the new girlfriend and i've and i've broken up and i've reached out to the old girlfriend and i've been like i'm so sorry that i ever took a man's word for when in doubt i'm gonna look to message you like if you say some fucked up shit when on do you i i want to i'm in the dms like i'm in there with you and so this was like years not that long after I'd broken up with him but it was like eating me alive and I was like should I message her should I message her and then finally I was like I'm so sorry that I ever believed a single thing he said over you like you were right he's insane like that's why men do need yelp reviews we're like granted some of the reviews you're like okay one star she was overreacting but like if there's enough one stars there's yeah there's smoke there's fire and if you're a woman and you feel compelled enough to come into my dms and tell me about a man I'm gonna I'm listening like I'm typing back I don't think you're like there to attack me because I've been that girl where I'm like no someone's gotta tell her well especially because like these guys tend to be like handsome and tall so it's like they see him in like a mask coming towards you and they're like you don't see it because it looks fucking charming in the beginning yeah you we are busy people making one doctor's appointment is hard enough without adding separate lab visits referrals follow-ups weeks of waiting meanwhile tiktok has convinced us we have five different deficiencies we need all these new supplements every week that's why we're excited about superpower if there was ever a health membership made for gigglers superpower would be it superpower brings your testing results health history and personalized recommendations together all in one place taking control of your health without completely disrupting your day women in stem your membership includes 150 plus biomarkers every year across two tests a baseline test and a progress check compared to the 10 to 15 a typical annual physical checks you get a deeper look at things and usually overlooked like your hormones fertility stress levels thyroid metabolism nutrient levels maybe superpower is what can actually give me answers on why I've been doing this for so long I've been doing this for so long I've been doing this for so long I've been doing this for so long I've been rather be in bed than anywhere else and instead of getting a bunch of random numbers back and becoming your own doctor superpower helps you understand your results and gives you a personalized plan that is designed around you and your unique needs superpower can literally say hey you haven't been sleeping well for the past four nights your cortisol level is elevated and your iron is low and your family history gives us another reason to pay attention take control of your health with superpower for a limited time our listeners get fifty dollars off your doctor's appointment and off their superpower membership so head over to superpower.com slash giggly for fifty dollars off and after you sign up they'll ask how you heard about superpower tell them giggly squad sent you and support our show speaking of crimes can we talk about donald prima I thought he was doing satire people don't know the lore of us and donald prima donald is the head social media at bravo but the thing about donald is hannah me and donald all started at bravo at the same exact time so we're like in the same grade I met donald at a sunday drag brunch yeah he was sitting next to me he's like by the way I just got hired at bravo and I'm like oh my god same we had the best time and then from that moment on we've been besties but here's the thing donald is extremely professional so like in the thick of being at bravo there were times where I would want to like kiki about somebody else and donald like always kept it super professional there's a reason he's had his job for so long because also all the bravo lebs love him he's so fun to work with so sweet he's so nice so anyways he posted a video on tiktok and instagram that he was in new york city he was going into like into a bank into an atm you know how they have like the little atm vestibule like before you fully get into the bank which is so scary by the way but typically there's a police officer in there like a security guard so he's getting cash out and someone comes up behind him and says give me your money and he says he has like it looks like he has a gun in his shirt like pointing it to him and donald says no thank you now let me just say this is the most new york shit I've ever heard like you know when you're overstimulated and someone does something weird to you on the street in new york and but like you're a good person like you're nice and you don't want to be rude you just go no thank you like no thank you thank you but no thank you I've done that four billion times in new york so the fact that he's getting robbed at gunpoint and he's like no thank you oh this is bringing my charger oh thank you no thank you so the joke is that he was listening to giggly squad to giggly squad while this was happening and you had a very funny comment I said imagine if the guy just heard you listening to us and it was like us talking about nipple hair and he was like I kind of love that he was listening to giggly squad because it's giving like when people go to one of our live shows and someone's like it's all just like hot beautiful women like a straight guy should just go and I'm like these girls would stone a man after our live show like you know he was having no shit with these straight men pretending to shoot him it's so giggly squad coded to say no thank you like when you're getting robbed because it's like he didn't just say no thank you he said no thank you with no like it's giving like oh my god I didn't want to get up out of bed and now I'm here now you're really gonna do this to me he's like I'm already overstimulated I can't do this right now with you after Donald said no thank you the guy dropped his hand from his shirt which that with no gun which to me that encompasses what New York City is if you hear anyone say like oh people in New York City are so mean but at the end of the day they're nice like yeah they'll tell you to get the fuck out of the way but if you fell in the street like they're helping you New York City is also like quite practical so that robber was like yeah and you called my bluff and so I'm gonna give you like I'm gonna take the L on that and I'm gonna give you your flowers like yeah you you won that one I love how you're like New Yorkers are so nice the gunman didn't really shoot him he was like thank god he's okay but it is funny it is a numbers game so this guy's like I'm just gonna wait for the next person right who's gonna give it to me but it reminds me and I I've talked to the gigglers about this before when you're like scared try to look confident oh we're getting a death is she just on her back right now yeah just like in my lap that's an angel no it's that is it so that is the sweetest little girl okay I have a Daphne photo shoot today and this is the first time Daphne is not coming because we have a different cast oh so that's why she's overcompensating right now yeah she's like am I losing my am I not an it girl right now she's like I was so hot and I was so the girl of the moment she's like I'm the CEO I'm in charge who's this black cat thank goodness Donald Prima is okay but then he just said he started listening to Giggly Squad again and continuing about his day a bounce back story one thing I'd like to bring up for the fall is I I'm going to be wearing a lot of low ponytails this fall I've decided a lot Paul Revere um I just feel like with my bangs you can't visualize it right now so don't feel as though you need to with my bangs I'm gonna start just doing a lot more like things that's like look like here and like a knot and like just low ponies and you're gonna throw like a ribbon I might throw a ribbon in there because I did one of that for Sports Illustrated and I really loved it the problem is if you don't get the pony in the photo I don't have the bone structure to pull that off I understand what you're saying but when you do get the pony in the back you're like that's Ella Enchanted well yeah it has to be long enough that if at a certain time you need to bring it to the side you can it can yeah but here's my thing I'm not a braid person and I feel like I'm seeing a lot of girls doing like a low braid I just could never get into a braid I think there's a time and a place for a braid yeah and it's like not me not now like any time anyone was going to prom and they were doing like a low braid I just couldn't there is a specific girl who pulled off the French braid and it was very specific type of girl very specific setting that setting that was only from 11 to noon on Thursday in chemistry class as a junior in high school that girl I never saw her again she could have lived in that room like that girl could do a French French braid I um wait sorry speaking of continuing on the hair journey Ken Urich made an entire video on TikTok about how she's always wanted a pixie cut and someone said start with a bixie cut which is like a bob pixie which I sent you all that inspo and she was just talking about how like if you don't have a phase where you want a pixie you're not that girl like only that girl can genuinely sit down and think like do I want a pixie wait is Ken helping my campaign well I was like you know what she's pointing out so many things because it's like yeah if you've got a pixie like that's it that's your outfit and that's how I would feel about my bob like I would worry less about my outfit because I was like I have a bob people to this day when they think of you just think like yeah pages of bob I'm like I'm already 10 steps ahead of these bitches I'm in a blunt bob right now you've had long hair for five years and people are like wow her hair's so long like yeah it was generational it was generational so anyway that made me feel good I don't feel as though it's my time yet but but she's coming it could be 10 years it could be 20 I don't know I just at one point in your life i think it's it's worth it like i also this is me i wanted to put my hair up in like a claw clip when i walk i walk heavy you know that i'm slapping i'm slapping the ground i was going for a walk and i was kind of hot out so i want to put my hair up in a claw clip yep five steps in it's falling apart yeah like it's claw clips are not all created equal you're right and they're really not i think it was just like a cheap one because it's not like you have like unmanageable hair if i can do it you should be able to do it because mine was just slipping through the cracks and then you know when you put it in wrong and then it's like you have one crazy spike like you you walk around like alfalfa anyway i tried one day to be a claw clip casual girl and it was it was chaos i hate to put you on the spot and i hate to do a visual thing while we're on the pod but your two favorite things to do continue but you you your two only hobbies continue but do you do you think you could give us just because i'm so interested in this could you give us a quick demonstration without the clip of how you're putting it up oh oh i would love to okay so i kind of just twist it and go like that okay and then i like put it but then yes okay i look like alfalfa okay okay so you're not doing anything like insane no no it just isn't it's not meant for me okay so i saw genevieve last week who the hell is genevieve my unborn daughter the cat that i want to adopt that my husband's not letting me because for like logical reasons yeah so i've been volunteering so i went in and i'm like look i'm here to see all the cats i love all the cats and i'm like if i'm meant to be with genevieve she'll like come to me so obviously immediately genevieve's at my foot like hi mom yeah and i'm like genevieve don't i feel like i had a crush where i'm like don't yeah and then she's right there because she's acting different than the other cats like like obviously different not obviously but like she we have a connection yeah like she loves me she also looks just like butter so anyway i'm petting her i'm petting her and then you know when you're petting a cat and they're purring and you're like we're in a like like we're we're simpatico like we're breathing the same like i'm holding her like it's symbiosis it's symbiosis where i'm like the world is yeah invisible it's just me and genevieve and then she starts like well i'm kissing her her head's like in my mouth and then at one point she starts like licking my eye and i'm like i hope i'm not gonna like get a disease because you know these this cat was found you know yeah kitty longs to be a street cat no she doesn't but genevieve is a true street cat was found under a ditch somewhere the way kitty my kitty looks out the window it's never gonna be you babe it's never gonna be you babe you'll turn she would go outside and be like it's hot it's windy and come back in so genevieve we're just like obsessed with each other and then i'm i'm loving all the other cats too they're all amazing then the vet comes in like an hour later and she's like how are the cats doing i'm like this one has a little like cough and like this one has something on its eye and then i'm like i'm obsessed with genevieve and she picks up genevieve and she goes oh like what and she goes looks like she has ringworm oh my god she's like low-key one of my my biggest fears is getting ringworm i go that's crazy because she was licking my eye and i also put her head in my mouth like i i'm like i i could not explain how connected we were for at least an hour and she was like don't worry like if you if you get some ringworm we'll put something on it but she was like go home don't pet your cat and just like in the shower so i got home i told des i'm like we have to we have to adopt genevieve she also did give me ringworm so ringworm that contagious that like also wait was she does that mean she was shitting worms no no no ring she i don't know what it is but it's not as like she had something on her eye that was just like it's not okay it's not as intense as it sounds it's a horrible name but um what are the chances the one cat that i was rolling around with i mean that's who you so shout out to genevieve even though this is i can't adopt her you can't i just and i am so for multiple cats but butter would literally feel i know and i would never want to do that to butter but then deep down i'm like what if butter becomes a different cat and she's like she like genevieve brings something out of her where butter's like you know i didn't think of that i love people now you you know what you you need to get the pet psychic you're so right actually if a pet psychic was like genevieve's meant for other things i would let it go but there's also a world where she could be like butter actually would live the rest of her life so happy having like a little she wouldn't think she would be in the beginning but then like having a little kitty would change her life i'm just envisioning me sitting des down being like okay so the psychic said there's a couple things that we can't say to him and that's one of them but you guys this is the we're whispering because we don't want him to hear this is the craziest thing is he's psychic yeah so he'll be like i don't believe in psychics i'm like that's crazy because you're a scorpio psychic and i ask you for everything low-key i want like a psychic that listens to giggly squad to like dm me and see like what do i need what are the tools i need to become more psychic like how can i hone in on it hen and page try new things being psychic it's just us looking at each other trying to reach each other's future i'm like how do i but i feel like i always see those tiktoks where it's like yeah how to channel your yeah and i'm like i want to channel it i have a friend who you know gets drunk and like reads everyone and she no i didn't know this there are ways there's like classes and stuff okay i don't want to go to a class i know because you have to be a student of i want to be a student of it but i want a private session you're like can it be an audiobook that i just listen to while i'm doing my skincare routine no i just want like one giggler psychic who could dm me and be like just like do these couple of things and like over time it'll get stronger this is the problem too is i thought of what i would call genevieve oh you're because i realized it has to go with butter so i was at first i was like butter toast no i don't like toast butter um parmesan i'm like she's not parmesan like she's like yeah you do that then i heard someone call a cat pecan butter pecan but then there's the drama of like is it pecan or pecan or pecan and i don't know if i want to be part of that like controversy every day that narrative imagine every time she introduced herself she's like hi i'm pecan and they're like you mean pecan yeah and then god forbid there's a substitute teacher because then they'll be lost but butter and pecan see when you even you want to do when you say butter you want to say pecan but if you're just talking about pecan on her own she's pecan but when she's with butter she's pecan butter and pecan pecan pecan what are you doing take take that out of your mouth and then i feel like you have to give her a middle name because it's just like funny also none of my cat's last name is bishop they're all burner well yeah we're single moms i just want to let people know in case anyone was like it's not butter bishop burner even though it is really funny daphne actually doesn't even have a last name she's kind of like madonna she's like she's just daft by the way madonna won every award last night and you could tell she was tired she's like i have to get up again she's like i just came to perform the only thing i saw was her being on stage with sabrina carpenter and basically being like yeah you like didn't respond to my team's email do you want to talk it was giving nikki minaj miley cyrus like 2011 vmas like you had a lot to say in the media what's up like um wait that was the good old days no that was like when we fought about like fun stuff yeah but also it makes you mad like like if you're sabrina you're are you not calling your team up and being like hey i pay you guys 30 or whatever they have in the music industry it's like you can't respond to one email from madonna in defense of gen z which i never do sabrina's gen z right oh she might be a millennial whatever she's tiny there's nuance what if what what if she didn't want to do it no i don't know what if like what if the initial ask was something like so weird it was like some type of song she was like i don't want to do that song like no for sure i could see madonna being just like hey let's record a song this week and her team's like uh she's in poland yeah a tour doing a private bat mitzvah like for an oligarch like she's literally she has no self-service right now like i don't know no there's definitely and also five days in the entertainment industry that's quick you know how long it takes to make a movie that's so quick that's so you know madonna had to go on stage like four times she's in her like she's 66 or something and she's having to sit down get up i mean i'm 35 my back would be out that's why i love the anne hathaway business model you work really hard for a couple years then you fuck off for 20 then you come back you work really hard for a couple years then you fuck off i need a period of fucking off you know and so that that's what i do when i do my my sundays are very important to me but that's the thing you can't wait for things to be off you have to put the foot down yes i mean i've never done it yeah i get bored be off for two minutes i'm like i've got things to do let's speed it up i had an embarrassing moment with my husband was it sexual no i was well it was in the bathroom okay this is the problem when you're married there's always a man there yeah so like envision your life if you're not married but then just put a man there and it's not always convenient so i'm dermaplaning yeah actually i was so proud of myself for doing because i was like wow i'm i'm like page the sword but i'm dermaplaning like yeah like you're making sure that i don't have a beard full billy goat beard and des goes are you shaving you're like it's quite different you wouldn't get it i heard a voice a voice i said what is what is what is going he goes are you shaving and i go actually not at all i'm dermaplaning and he goes so you're shaving and i was like completely completely different genres not even similar in nature you wouldn't know what you're it's dermaplaning he goes it looks like you're shaving yeah and i said google dermaplaning it's not it has nothing to do with shaving it's an art form that the girls and gays do does this look like a razor to you he's like yeah it does i'm like define shaving he's like what you're doing i go okay but i love how we really have rebranded dermaplaning to be like i'm like it helps makeup sit better i'm like it helps makeup sit better i'm like it helps makeup sit better it's cleansing my pores i'm doing skincare he goes right you're shaving right that's so interesting because the other day i said i actually apologized to joe which is something i very rarely do but he said i said wow you're like the only boyfriend i've ever had that i've talked about bodily functions like more what like you know so much about the interworkings of my body after that italy trip there was no going back he looked to me and he goes yeah i've literally seen your shit before and i was like i said i was like oh my god because in italy i was dying so much from every hole that like there was no escaping it and then to go to a hotel after that had no bathroom door was like so that was just the universe people don't realize is that's intimacy like people make fun of me for being like open and stuff i'm like how am i supposed to be open and stuff and i'm like how am i supposed to be open have you ever had a guy look into your soul through your asshole no because at one point in italy it was coming out of both ends so much that like i was constantly flushing and like so there was like something on the flusher and i don't know what it was it was either it was either throw up or diarrhea but like no one knows and he was privy to that and so that put us into like a whole different situation oh a girl dm'd me and she was like no you need to know what imitation crab is and she was like it's basically the hot dog of the sea it's a bunch of fish put together into one thing to just be like imitation crab i heard that sometimes it's like a fish an actual fish with like a ton of starch starch i don't know woman in stem stuff like they mix it up in a bowl yeah that makes sense but that's good to know the other day i had a thought i'm buying baby gifts i'm set i run a whole control room i'm buying baby gifts i'm selling baby gifts i'm selling baby gifts i'm center okay i'm sending out gifts all the time i'm mailing shit i'm getting candles i'm mailing them out i got baby trucks i got wedding stuff i'm sending things out then i had a thought i was like oh my god i haven't gone through half the majority of things i gift for i've never experienced myself so i have no idea what my reaction is going to be in these moments like when that happens to me and in my head i'm thinking if i want something i'm already buying it i'm not waiting to put it on some registry what when i get so when a man is involved then i get to get all of these gifts like no and also as someone who like i don't even think i'd have i'll have a bridal shower i don't even know if i'll have a baby shower i didn't have a i didn't have a bridal shower yeah like i don't feel like they're as like prominent now whatever teach their own but i'm okay but what if i chose not to get married so what i'm never entitled to us like a mixing bowl like excuse me so then i started to get annoyed for the girls who are like uh so i have to go out and buy seven kitchenaids and a lay crew set but i can't get a goddamn place setting like myself why aren't we doing housewarming gifts and having a full a registry for housewarmings and that could be anyone yeah i mean new york city if a lot of new yorkers like i moved eight times so like i would have me at 24 having another housewarming for a fake bedroom that's like a wall that divides one and we'd have to put a cap on it we'd have to put an age limit and like you have to first of all mandatory you have to be over 30 yes and but i do think there should be more housewarming lists or yeah there should be some kind of system that the girls can like benefit from each other well i think that registries i find them to be fascinating and interesting because it's the only time in your life that you can be like hey buy me this and nobody bats an eye yeah and i but so i and i like that and then think about how many times you've dated a man and they've been like what do you want for christmas well like can you send me a link and you're like so i'm picking out my own christmas gift yeah here's the link but like that's annoying to me i want a registry at all times like i wish there was a platform that i could put things into a registry that i want other people to buy me or myself so anytime like my my birthday comes around or christmas comes around i'm like we'll check my registry yeah and people could like just put a hundred dollars towards something you could ask for donations to your registry and it could be like i'm going on a vacation with my girlfriend buy me some shots or hey i have to buy books so you're saying so it's so there's less like just things that are bought that you don't even want like a majority of gifts you don't want correct like you're like i see the thought behind it thank you but like no i'm not gonna use this notebook what if there were like family registries like you know like every time oh yeah like your aunt is getting you something for your birthday you know like people send out christmas cards you could put like your family registry on your christmas card and it's like okay an aunt you don't see that often oh but i know the children will love this i'm gonna mail this to them because it was on my registry yes i do think it's good that things evolve because people like 30 years ago were really obsessed with china right like they were all like you can't get married without having proper china and i don't i don't know we we've lost that yeah but it's kind of sad it's kind of sad but like people were obsessed with if you're still using her fine china on christmas morning also i hate to put you on the spot but i have to call you out wow you let me go 52 minutes i guess that's okay you haven't given me my birthday gift yet you know it's so funny because i came home the other day when we were together and i was like it's sitting right here we have been two ships in the night it's not like we've been in the same place when am i seeing you i don't know but it's supposed to be your okay this is a rule i'm okay with it being late but it cannot hit your birthday before me getting my gift wait you know i bought something last night that i was like should i send this to hannah because she could just get me this for my birthday and i think it's so cute and it's like kind of us and then i thought no i'll just buy it myself and i bought it myself last night but no i have your birthday gift i've had it since your birthday which does count for something i i did buy you something for your birthday already but it's one of those like it's not good enough to be a full gift i really i don't want to even get into this habit with you which habit getting gifts i know well who's one of us started it with one of us started it one time and then we like should we just stop after this birthday let's should we stop wait i love what you're like this is too stressful for me and your friendship registry so how am i no but our friendship is based on zero stress whenever anything stresses us out we just like take care of it well because you want to know we're the and we get it like what about the day you just sent me that book of cats i know so like we do that but i think we do little cute things randomly all year round also you told me that you bought my gift and then one day looked at it and you're like that's actually cute i'm gonna keep it what was it whatever i don't know what the gift is but you're saying my birthday oh this one right now yeah well there's been so many times where i'm like and that actually would go so well but i can't use them i wouldn't care if you wore it i'd be like paige sorbo wore it at the at the end of the day and then i'd be like oh my god it's so cute and then i'd be like oh my god it's so cute and then i'd be like oh my god it's so cute and then i'd be like oh my god it's so cute when we share clothes anyway you guys thank you for giggling with us have an amazing amazing week and we'll talk to you later bye bye