Giggling about pregnancy tests, pinky swears, and pilates

[music] Sub-giglers? Very picture-y-five. Manifest that shit. Be campaign-manage. [laughter] I'm in the day just got away from me. What's up my garden gnome, gigglers? Would you have a garden gnome if you had an outdoor area? Maybe if it was like this in the shape of Kitty. Cute. Thoughts on, like legitimately. Taxidermy. I'm out. Like one butter passes. God forbid in the year 2052. No, I'm putting her in a freezer and I'm Walt disneying her so that when the technology works. Why isn't it more. Like 3D printers? Why aren't people taxidermying their pets more? 'Cause it's creepy. Is it though? 'Cause I would cry every day if I saw butter stuffed with cotton balls. You're so. Yeah, I guess. Nashville coated right now. You're like just taxidermy. You know what you are? That's the meanest thing you've literally. You're so stage coach right now. [laughter] That is the meanest thing you've ever sent to me. It's a Monday and I'm coming so hard for your soul. You just said I was Nashville coated. Which you know is the number one place on Earth that if someone said you have to move there. I'd cry. Number two. [laughter] Oh my god. Okay, well don't start trying to convince me to taxidermy things. Could you imagine how they'd hate me in Nashville? [laughter] I have an announcement. I love announcements. I'm just like really since Chloe Kardashian, like, her. I've just been like really into my products recently. And everybody knows Sunday nights is when I do my hair mask and I do all my things. But I actually did my hair mask on Friday. So like my days are a little off. [laughter] Anyway. We have such different weekends. So last night I like showered. It was doing all my stuff and like. Blue dry my hair. And I was like, you know what? I'm gonna like throw a little. wave in here. Like I'm gonna like do my hair a little so that tomorrow morning on Gagley Squad's new I don't look a mess with my hair. Okay, you could have texted me but continue. So I. Sunday is like when I look at all my stuff that I've like gotten delivered. Like all the products that I've like never tried before and they're like all in a pile. And I'm like. So there was this hair thing and it was called a Bondy Boost like a heat curler. Yes, I've heard of them. And I was like, okay let me just like give this a whirl. I was shocked honey. Honestly, I hate that I'm about to say this. It's everything I've been wanting my. It's everything I've been thinking that my Dyson has been doing but hasn't been doing. I don't know if I ordered it then here's the other thing. Then I like try. Try a product and I'm like, I can't remember if I ordered this. Or if they said. Someone found your address. Someone found my address and sent it to me. Because I've been looking at this thing in a box for at least a month and a half and I'm like, I'm gonna try that. What's the price point? I have no idea. She goes, everything's free in your head. If it's on my glass desk, it was free. It was free. What does it do? It's basically just like a heated round brush. But I had blue. I blew dry my hair so it was kind of straight but kind of puffy. And it just looked like I got a blow out. My ends looked very blow out-ish. The way I want my Dyson to do it but it just never does it. And I think because I have fine hair. Anyway, so. That was. People lost their jobs just then. That was crazy. You're like Kylie Jenner tweeting that Snapchat's over. That's crazy. Oh, also I texted my friend Alexa last night and I said, I'm finally ready for micro-needling. And she said, perfect. I will find you someone this week. So. What made you think you were ready? Because I'll do it with you because I was scared. I wasn't gonna do it alone. Well, I've just been looking up, like I'm always looking at different things the girls are doing. And months and months ago, someone was like doing. Made a TikTok and was like, I don't get Botox and she was like. May. She was in her 40s. I love her yearnful anti- Botox algorithm now. And she. Well, she said she was like, I don't get Botox. I don't get fillers. The only thing I do is I do micro-needling. Micro-needling once a month. Which kind of seems like a lot. I always have stuff coming up that I have to be in front of a camera for. I don't know how I ended up in this. In just drama. But then I talked to someone yesterday and they were like, yeah, micro-needling, you have to keep doing it. And it gets more powerful as you keep doing it. Which does sound like a pyramid scheme. However. But one that I would fall into. I'll do it with you because if we're both gonna look busted for like four days, that's more fun than me alone. I don't even think that. It's even that long of a turnover. Like I truly think you get it done. You can't wear makeup like that night or that next day. But then you're fine. And then I had a dermatologist, Giggler, in STEM, message me and say, hey, if you have a really expensive product and you break out after. Sometimes it means it's like your skin purging. And I'm like, again, it's giving me your mischief. Like you guys are just keeping me going. Well, purging is something I've subscribed to. So you've been purging for three years now? I'm like, okay, but my chin keeps purging. And final thought, you know, girls, we like look how good my skin is because they just put like oil on it. And they're like, like how shiny. I'm like, yeah, because you put oil on it. Okay, I'm actually having a really great skin day. I was gonna say you're very shimmery, but you put on it. A Giggler really stressed me out the other day? Oh, no. Because I said on the pod last week, I was like, I've just been like a really obsessed with me the past couple of days. I don't know like what's going on. And a Giggler DM me and she was like, my cat did that a couple months ago. Like would not leave me alone. And she goes turns out I was pregnant. Now look, I've read a lot of DMs before about people telling me about myself. And I'm like, a person's not like, I'm not giving it a second thought. Let me tell you something. I overeats to a pregnancy test immediately. I don't know what I was overcome with, but I, because then I, then I go on my phone and I'm like, wait, I should have had my period. I was just with Taylor two days ago and she said, oh, I'm getting my period in two days. And typically I'm like a week prior to her. So I go on my phone and I'm like, oh my god, I did miss my period. And then I look at Kitty and I'm like, where are you going to say anything? Kitty's like, I've given you every sign. I'm not hungry. I'm trying to say that you've something growing in you. We don't have the closet space. We don't have the room. Kitty's like, it's me or her. It's me or her. Pick one of us. The test was negative and then I literally woke up the next morning with my period. She's so mad. Well, good for the gillers for keeping you on your toes. No, I was like, guys, I don't mean being, can I have a day? I do have to say I'm reading, I'm going to Dunham's book and there's like about four chapters about her. How long are you going to be reading this for? I'm like, I'm going to be reading this for. I'm like, I'm going to be a little break and then, doesn't I read it at night? Like, I was like, do you want to read your book? He was reading like Kafka or something and we, and I was reading the Dunham and I was like, wait, Hannah. That is so freaking cute. Well, it's my parents do they read before that. Oh my God. What nerds my parents would never. But when we got competitive, I was like getting tired, but he was still reading and I was like, "Clue burdened his story." Yeah, that's so you. That's so you. That's so you. Well, at one point he was, because I was like, I feel like it's too bright and he's like, well, I've really small words on my book. And I was like, he's like, let me see your book and he's like, they're small too, yeah. I'm like, you're like, I'm so competitive. I'm like, my words are little or the news. But she talks for like four chapters about, she ends up getting her uterus taken out. Sorry. What? Spoiler alert. Because she has one better. Why do we do this every morning? I can't just have a normal conversation with you before noon. It has to be like the most traumatizing thing I've ever heard in the past six months. I go and then she got her uterus removed. Have a great day. Good luck at school. Why did she have to have her uterus? Did she have full hysterectomy? She had endometriosis. She had a lot going on. Then it was like another disease, whatever. But then it's also, she can't have children. Probably not herself anymore. But she talks about that whole like feeling and the doctors were really like anti like we can't take out your uterus. It's so, it's like what makes a woman and she's like, yeah, but it's killing me. Like why do you care more about my future child than my current resistance as a woman? Right. But she also talks about how mentally, at one point they're like, are you happy? And she's like, what are you talking about? And they're like, if you're really upset and sad and stressed, it just kind of makes things worse. So it's kind of like inside your body. Yeah. But then it's also like, aren't you upset because you are in pain? And then it's kind of this back and forth. So she talks about how you feel. about pain a lot, but anyway, it got me thinking about how you have pain. Just all the time. Michelle, time. No, actually, my UTI has been pretty good. Like, I've been, I've felt it coming on a couple times and I've kind of told myself, no, it's not. Also, that's the answer you actually have to just go, not today, Satan. You said to look at the mirror. I don't have the time. I'm like, oh, really? I don't have time to go to urgent care. Say bloody Mary three times in the mirror. I'm almost at like six months, which is the longest I've ever gone since I'm 16 years old. Wait, that's crazy. I bet you didn't do anything besides the side. You don't want it anymore. No, I was like, oh, you know what it is. It's the, um, what is what's the new hair wrap that you're using? Fondi boost. No, I take one, um, a Reganau vitamin a day and two D manos cranberry supplements, but they're like, they're extra cranberry. Like they're the classic one and then I've bumped it up in notch. Oh, yeah, if you go to pages kitchen, she has like, I have a little display of UTI meds and my stuff. My Dyson, they're fucking expensive. It's like half of your rent is a Dyson. Dyson's are really expensive. And because I'm in so many hotels and leaving everything, sometimes the cleaning people will come in and they like to put your hair stuff like strainer's or Dyson. They put it like away. Yeah, yeah. They hide it. So obviously I love that. Yeah, but then when I'm packing, I'm not like opening cabinets to search for things. Right. Then I have to call the hotel. They have to ship it to me. I've had to ship this Dyson all over America. You know, it's interesting, not interesting, but whatever. Because we go on my family vacation every year. One of like the biggest gripes of the family vacation is my mom's hair. And she gets stressed about her hair because she has very naturally curly hair. And so like when we're on vacation and none of like the stuff he works because we're in a different country and she's always like stressed out about it. And I hate when she's stressed out about it. So I bought her a European Dyson. So now she can bring it on vacation with us. It goes voila. It says, okay. We'll do your hair now. Okay. Okay. I strain. Wait. Oh my god. More things should just be in Italian. Yeah. Why isn't there an Italian series? She's always British. No. Why isn't there an Italian series would be like, what the fuck are you doing? Okay. No. No. I'm not looking that up illegal. No. Okay. Yeah. Why don't you fuck yourself? Wait. Put it in for there would to be an Italian series that bullies you. She'd be like, I'm at lunch. Do not ask me questions. Yes. It's August. No working. Wait. Imagine Siri. Just like stopped answering the whole month of August. Was it you in the fall you stupid bitch? I don't know, look it up yourself. I would love that. Google it. You know, when I keep seeing it, I'm like, my fur you page and and for the past couple of months, it's like everyone talking about bringing 2016 back. Like 2016 was so much fun. Like people posting pictures, whatever. Well, I keep getting like the Beyonce lemonade album. Like, oh my god, it was 10 years ago. And like, I don't know why I didn't think of it then. But like, imagine coming home. Just like imagine being Beyonce and just like walking in the front door. Like, albums been out for like a couple of weeks. Everyone's singing it and like, Jay-Z just being like, so, uh, I think anything happened at work today? Like, did they say, do they say to each other? Like, did you see that email? Like, imagine your husband cheating on you and then you make the most fire album to ever exist about him cheating on you and all the songs start with you speaking and like, dishing him. Like, how do they, how did they move on from that? Celebrity relationships are on such a different like mental wavelengths. Then like a normal relationship. And she probably was like, hey, I sold the bazillion records and he was probably like, go off. I knew to say, like, there's a line where she's like, imagine if you never had the coolest girl in your bed. And I'm like, that would crush me if I'm him. You know, there was definitely a fighter to, I would say, or three. But at some point, they're like empire and it's almost maybe this is all legit. Maybe they got to the point where they were like, it's actually more complicated to try to break up than to fight with you every day. I'd rather fight with you every day than go through an insane divorce and rather little microteau fights than like blowing up our entire empire. We built together, I guess, which is why they live separate lives. Yeah. Give I know that my husband has slept with another woman. But there's nothing that's keeping, there's nothing keeping me there. There's nothing that I'm staying for. Maybe she also has her side. Because she's rich on her own. So it's not like, but you know what? Maybe they have secrets about each other. But do you want to be able to like live out loud? Honestly, their relationship is so, so mysterious and interesting. For how long they've both been famous, it's so mysterious. So mysterious. And you think that she dropped the album about him. It does remind me at an extremely, extremely decimal percentage of my experience of me about to drop my Hulu special. Because the very end has like 15 minutes of jokes about Des that he's never actually heard. And like, I've run it by him. Okay. Yeah. I've run the premises by him. Yeah, how have you? Like, I wait till he's in like a silly mood and then we'll be in the car and I'll be like, Hey, I'm working on a new bit about this and he'll be like, Yeah, it sounds good. And like, that's so, so then if he does get annoyed, I'd be like, I asked you. And if people like the joke, like if it's funny, he's always okay with it. But like, I do go pretty hard. I have one joke that's like, can you give us like a taste? Like, yeah, I was just getting to say, is there one joke that you're like waiting for his reaction? There's one joke that I'm like, ooh. We like, I want you to tell us. It's the kind of joke that like, Hilly, there'd be like, I love it or be like, yeah, I'm getting into it. What's the, what's the genre? It's about his family. Okay. Okay. They're all dads are like, who are you really getting in trouble with? You know? But oh, many people. It's just like the relationship brings so much relatability and like, I'd never go into writing my specials to be like, I want to make fun of my husband. But there isn't a powering thing of growing up seeing all these other guy specials where they're just like, my naggy wife, my bitch ass wife, I'm my annoying wife. So it's kind of fun to be a female comic and like, make fun of your husband, I feel like it's empowering. You know, who I still think about is John Mulaney because when I first, I've like watched his stand-ups, a lot of his material was about his wife and was about his wife and actually about loving his wife. And I don't know why I think about him like leaving his wife and marrying Olivia Munn so much, but I do. I think about it at least once a month. I don't know why like, obviously I'm a John Mulaney fan. I think his stand-ups are funny, but I don't, but and I don't even know what his wife's name is. Actually, I think she wrote a book. It's not like I was like so obsessed with them or like that it keeps coming into my head, but I think about it all the time. I just got the vocals. Them. Am I a nicky fan? Pull up in the shoe. Lanko. What the hell is that? That's right. Like how's the coast? That was how's my like, COVID also. It's crazy how things don't hold up over time. No. Speaking of some random celebrity drama that I don't you love when there's celebrity drama from like the 2000s that you just didn't know about and you're like, why do people not talk about it enough? Do you remember Mary Louise Parker? I have been in a whole of them. Did we see the same TikTok or something or Instagram posts? It's so interesting before social media, the men were really getting away with even more. So do you want to tell them what happened? No you go. Okay. So Mary Louise Parker is with Billy Crude Up. Who's the guy? Wait, if you don't know who she is, she was the-- Started Weeds. Yeah, she was the main actress in Weeds. Hilarious, genius, also gorgeous. So Weeds was 2005 to 2012. So Billy Crude Up, I don't know where he was in his career at this time. I didn't know him, but he's-- I know him from-- He's in like the first season of the morning, shall we? - No, he's like in random stuff. - Yeah. - He's never like the main, main guy, but he's in, he's in a lot of big stuff. - I don't hate short men. I hate short men who do bad. I hate little evil short men. If they're short and they're nice. - I hate short men that do short things. - Yeah, so immediately when a guy does something fucked up, first I check his height, it's first thing I do. - Five nine. - It's very talling. Five nine's not good enough. Not good enough babe. Not good enough for this. So she's seven months pregnant. Billy crud up. Well, this is the problem with dating actors. He's, I think in a show with Claire Danes, they fall in love because they're fucking making out every scene probably. This is with acting. It's just, I'm sorry, you're just like pretending to pretend to date, you guys are dating. So men are doing full, what is it called when you're like, - Method acting. - Method. (laughing) - Taking a method acting too seriously. By the way, apparently Adam Driver on Girls was doing method acting, but Lena Dunham didn't say it, but it hasn't been confirmed, but she just says how like they'd be practicing their lines and he'd throw a chair. - Yeah. - And someone was like, "He's method acting." - She's like, "I feel like he's just mad "and this is weird." - I'm gonna start doing that. If anyone gets mad at me, I'm gonna be like, "Sorry, I'm method acting." And they're like, "For what?" - Male actors are very, you know what's funny? Is you grow up your whole life and maybe just because of when we were born and before social media, you grow up your whole life having this like preconceived notion about celebrity, specifically celebrity male actors. And then you become an adult and you realize that those men were some of the biggest losers in high school and like, it's just, it's very interesting. - But then you realize the athletes were also losers. - Yes. - Because they had a reading level of a pre-case student. - Where have the good men gone? - Because if you asked me in high school, like, "Oh my God, who's the hottest? "Who's your husband gonna be?" I'd be like a professional athlete or a famous musician or actor, I would kill myself. - Yeah. - If I ever-- - Now the nerds are even diabolical. Now the nerds are more, you know what I mean. - We don't have a lead on the nerds. - We've lost the nerds. - The nerds are out here cheating on other nerds. - So Billy Crudup, Crudup, Unom, I'll agree for a Crudup. (laughing) - Oh, it's 10.30 a.m. on a Monday. - I was just gonna say, "I crud a tie." I crud a tie. - I'm warning crud a tie. - Billy, also, you're 61, your name's not Billy. (laughing) - Your name is William. I'm not calling you, I'm not calling anyone Bobby or Billy past the age of 12. - Grow the fuck up. - That is so true. - Billy, you can use that Billy. - Also, do you know who he's with now? - Yeah. - Naomi Watts. - The man pulls. - Yeah, something about Claire Deans scares me. And I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's because every role that she plays, it's like, it's like really overstressed, like anxious character. And that's like how I see her. But like something about her, I'm like, oh, I always have to take a deep breath, I feel like. - But I also, the feminist side of me is like, I love her playing these like really imperfect characters. Like, Homeland was iconic. 'Cause like, she was so unlikable. And like, up until that time, there weren't a lot of female roles to be unlikable and star. - Yeah, she's just always so stressed. And I'm like, I'm stressed. - You're like, take a bath. - Yeah. - Take an nap some soul bath. - I'm like, do a hair mask. - You're gonna love it. - Okay, keep going. - No, yeah, so that's what happened. - Okay, so he laughs at seven months pregnant, which it's giving, it's giving the wicked Ariana Grande drama. - I was just gonna say, I remember when everyone forgot about that. - That was crazy. - And I think that was pretty good. - That was crazy work. - I think she's still with SpongeBob. - Are they? - That's actually going pretty strong. - Yeah. - I just feel like if you're, I mean, obviously, it's so nuanced. But I just feel like if you're going to leave your wife for someone else, really physically get up and leave your pregnant or with child wife, it's gotta be for the long haul. And I don't think he dated Claire Daines for that long. - I think it was three years. 'Cause also I think they actually did get a lot of public blowback that they couldn't endure. - I mean. - I do say I don't care how sturdy your relationship is if you're constantly being attacked by the public, like it's gonna cause issues internally. - 100%. It might bring you closer together for a minute, for a moment. - Yes. - Because it's almost like a trauma bond. - Us versus the world type thing. - But once your court is all level kind of goes down, it's like, it's very. - I would argue, it obviously sucks. But if a guy leaves you while you're seven months pregnant, thank God he showed you who he really is, which is that he doesn't fucking care about you. 'Cause all I know is if I'm seven months pregnant, I feel not myself, my hormones are insane. I need help, I'm exhausted. Like you're in a really vulnerable period of your life. And if your man can't be there for you when you're holding and growing his child, I don't want you around later. - Right. Get out. - Also, I'd go as far to say, not only does he not care about you, he doesn't care about basic human. - Do you some say? - I don't know, just basic human rights. (laughing) World peace. - Like is it? It's just that I could be. - I could date someone for three minutes. And if I found out they were pregnant, I'd be like, oh my God. - Let's do everything that you need. - I can imagine leaving does during his knee operation. (laughing) He's helpless. (laughing) - Just leave me no more minutes. - Tell you no, you didn't like her six months ago. - Like it seems like something that didn't, it wasn't just sprung on you that you don't in fact like your wife. - Oh God. - If you told me an app could replace a personal trainer, I would have laughed. But honestly, latter is the closest thing I've found. You get a new plan every week from a real coach, it talks you through every rep, and latter is an expert in strength training plan, and it's not a content library. These aren't influencer workouts or challenges, it's real progressive programming designed by certified coaches. It works for any strength training style, like Pilates, Body Building at Home, Dumbbell Only, Hybrid Strength, Glute Focus Programs, Kettle Bells, and whether you train at home or in the gym, there's a plan for you. It costs less than $1 a day, and that's elite level personal training for a fraction of what you'd pay in person. So remove the guesswork with latter, and get a real coach in your ear, telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything is planned for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder.fit/giggly, and take a quick quiz to find out your perfect ladder plan. Use our link and get a free seven day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. - Anyway, I did a traumatizing Pilates class, can I tell you about it? - Yeah, I would love that. - It was like, by the way, I love Pilates, but it was one of those classes. If you see me in a Pilates class, turn around. Do you love Pilates? - I do, I love both of my heart, but I also love complaining about it. If you see me in a Pilates class, you know some shit's gonna go down. Some's gonna faint, some crazy shit's happening. So I walk in and to new Pilates place, and my thing is when I go to Pilates, first they have to do, go to the bathroom 'cause I have a phobia that I'm gonna have to poop during the class, God forbid, that would ruin everyone's experience. - Oh my God, wait. - What? (laughs) Why, he scared me. You literally gave me-- - You said, I gave you a free, I'm sorry. (laughs) - Because you know how I always, I forget things. So if I don't say it, you said pooping, and so it made me think of it. - Have you heard of coconut cold? - A cold? - Hannah, get into it. Okay, so I have heard of it for like a couple months, but randomly saw this girl on my four-you page, like eating coconut cold, and I was like, I'm gonna order one of those jar of basically, like such intent, it's not even yogurt, but they call it a yogurt, but you can't eat it in one sitting. You can only eat one spoonful of a day, of it a day, because it has such active probiotics in it. It's the consistency is actually like a moose. It's actually really hard to only eat one spoonful, you like, 'cause it tastes good, you like wanna eat another one. - Mm-hmm. - I am obsessed. I've only had the strawberry flavor, I have one spoonful in the morning, and I have like a spoonful at like four in the afternoon. If you eat too much, it is diabolical, and it is one of the scariest things I've ever experienced in my life. But if you like stick to a steady routine, you do feel like over time you feel less bloated. I've probably been having it for like a full two weeks now. - Oh. - I'm obsessed, I love it. You have to keep it in the refrigerator, and you can't do it. double dip your spoon. - Oh. - 'Cause it's like the probiotics are so active, and if you've already had it in your mouth, and then, I don't know, that's like a weird science thing, that's a moment in STEM that I'm not equipped for. - Okay, I'll definitely look into coconut cold. It's really cute. - Look at you, being. - And I think it would really help your stomach. - I have had a little sour stomach the last week. - That's how I do it. - Yeah, but I didn't wanna, well yeah, it's still on and off. - You know, and I'm always in fear of getting, and I think it's 'cause it's just like the grossest name, have you ever heard of leaky gut? (laughing) - Why does that remind me of leafy greens? - At any given point in the day, I'm scared that I have leaky gut. - Oh no, that's a whole new thing for me to, oh I know I have leaky gut, actually. I've been having leaky gut. - Okay, so I'm out of my plot, he's going back, I'm 'cause I'm afraid I'm gonna have leaky gut, and I'm in like the locker room area, so I see a door, I'm like, this must be the bathroom. I open it up, it's not the bathroom. It's like a storage closet, shut the door, oopsie, go into the other bathroom. And I'm in the bathroom and I really like an alarm is going off, but it's like a subtle alarm, it's like just a light and being like fire, fire, orn, yeah, and I'm like, and I'm like, did I do that? Like I assume that everything's my fault, I'm like, it's 'cause I open that weird door. So I, - That's actually so funny that you go, you live your life throughout the day, being like, I miss something out. - No, I just, I'm like, wait, what did I do? - Wait, what did I do? - What did I do? - No, that's so stressful. - Well, I think it's, I'm very powerful, like, this is something good happens, I'm like, that was me. (laughing) - Yeah. - Well, that happens, I'm like, that was me. (laughing) I just feel like I'm a catalyst anywhere I go. I'm like, let's change the molecules of this place. So I'm sitting there and like, the alarm's going off very subtly though, and it's basically fire, fire. And no one's acknowledging it. - But like a chill fire. - A chill, like a chill? - And I can't tell if this is just something that happens in the building, but the lady's not being like, hey, just ignore that, it happens. Instead, I'm like, am I the only one that sees this? And I'm the one that caused it. So anyway, that's how it started. And then I looked to my left. There's a man there. - In the bathroom? - No, in the Pilates. (laughing) - Oh. - I looked to my left, there's a man sitting on the sink. No, it's like, hey, I'm a fire fighter. There's a fire. Get out. No, but I'm like, if there's a man here, he better be like, putting out this fire. He shouldn't be here for Pilates, but he's there for Pilates. And of course, he's doing the work. - Straight. - I actually didn't make eye contact with him, so I couldn't tell, but I feel like he was straight because she kept-- - You can tell without eye contact. - I know, he was straight. - She kept having to be like, over this one, you can add more to him, and I'm like, shut the fuck up. - Buy himself? - Or with his girlfriend. - Buy himself. - He was like, he was like going through something like in his 50s. It was like, he definitely, probably divorce, trying to start his life over. - Wait, I don't like that even more, actually. - No, I know. So I was already like, bad energy. The fire also was giving bad energy. So he was throwing me up. Then, now look, when you sit on a reformer, never sit next to the person who's already there. That's just like a rule, because we're all doing our legs, stretches like, go to a different Pilates reformer. So this girl comes in and sits in between me and another girl when there's other reformers open. And I was like, that was a crazy move. But that's fine, whatever. Let's be communal. - Wait, that's a crazy move. - There was like five other reformers open. Maybe she wanted to be like in our area. I don't know, but I was a little bit like, interesting decision. And then, it's hot in there. And she's wearing like a full suited up, long sleeve, everything. And I'm like, she's probably so hot. And then, she's filming herself. So I guess she was vlogging or something. And I was like, I'm just going to ignore this. She starts taking calls during the class. You were going to say she started interviewing. No, her phone was buzzing. I don't know. She was like, hello. She thought she was going to be a man with me. I thought she was going to be like, can I ask you a couple questions? - Do you care if women fart? - Okay. - So she's on the phone. - She's like taking, like, she's still doing the moves. - Kind of. And she's like, hey, like talking on the phone. Like it was crazy. And I'm like, this is bonkers. And then, this other girl on the right of me was one of these like insane breeders. Do you know, look, you have three of your Pilates class, but you know the performative breeders, they're like, shh. Every breath. And I was like, there's no need to breed like that on this. - Yeah. - So she's doing her performative breaths that are next level. This one's picking out phone calls. A man is plotting all our deaths. - Usually the person that, for me, that I always notice is doing the performative breathing is like one of those moms that's like, kids are grown. Kids are grown. Kids are out of the house. They still call her for everything. She's bony. She's bony. She's a hat on. Okay. And she's, shh. And like, tiny, tiny little thing. - Hasn't had a carb since '92. (laughing) - Oh my God, has not had a carb since before, why, to, okay. And you're like, how do you run all these marathons? And you're like, you have osteoporosis. - Like, you have to stop doing this. This is like the fourth thing she's done today. And it's 10 a.m. And she's already like, done all her groceries. She's like, biked four miles. Yes. She was doing crazy breathing. And then I'm sitting there and I'm like, this is, this is my hell. Like, this is where I came for peace. And then I'm wondering what they're thinking about me. They're like, this bitch is starting fire. (laughing) So. - I survived it to tell the tale. - I'm so against workout classes. - See, I need them. - I can do it in my own home. - When I do it alone, you don't trust that you're doing it right. - No, I know I'm doing it right. I know that I don't trust myself to keep doing it. Like, after three setups, I'm like, we're good. - Okay, so I'm the opposite. I will keep doing it, but I don't know if I'm doing it right. So it's like, is this, am I doing it for nothing because I'm doing it wrong? - I needed peer pressure and I'll do anything if someone else is there. But when I'm alone, I cannot be held accountable. (laughing) - See, for me, I want to turn my TV on. I want to be listening to that. I don't want to really be listening to the girl teaching. I just want to watch her moves and I just want to keep doing them. And then I want to mine my own business. - See, I'll be like, oh, that kind of hurts. I want to stop. But then if I'm in a class, I'll break my leg right now for me to finish this if the girl next to me is finishing it. - Right. - But that's my own-- - Oh, and that's how we're different. - That's how we're different. I have a woman in some of the week. - Yeah, fuck yeah. I'm so obsessed with women in some of the week now. - See, we grow and learn. Okay, so you know how you'd page it and introduce me to ice face baths. Like when we first started some our house. - Yes, it does. - She's been doing it. Wake up hungover, she's like, watch this. And then she'd waterboard herself for like 20 seconds. Like three seconds too long where I was like, should I check on her? (laughing) - And then you were gonna take on the day. - Yeah. So have you heard of the snorkel that girls have added? - I have seen it. - Is it something people are selling online? - It's stupid. - It's stupid. Well girls have invented a snorkel so that when you go under a nice water face bath for yourself, you add a snorkel so you could stay down like forever if you want. - So dumb. - Gimmie. - She's a gimmicky and stupid. Like stick your head in the bowl of ice. You don't need to breathe in there. You're not staying longer than 30 seconds. And if you can hold your breath for 30 seconds, we have bigger issues. You need to go to the doctor because you're not getting full lung capacity. - It's dumb. - It's giving when they invented that straw that you sip so that doesn't purse your lips so you don't like purse your lips too much to get. - I never saw that. - Lip wrinkles. You never seen it? - Wait, I love that. (laughing) - Now that's something I can get behind. That's a shark tank product I want to see. Yes, so it's different so I don't know. You could look it up. - Wait, I'm obsessed with that. - Yeah. - All day I try and think of things that I can literally, since I'm like 16, I'm like, what's something I couldn't invent so that I never have to work again. - I thought up to the three billion. - Do you mind my last invention idea to you was cute, colorful smelling garbage bag? (laughing) - Full pitch deck, I pitch page. Full pitch deck and you were like, I'm obsessed. (laughing) - I'm like, I think they have these but I love your perseverance. I love how yours is different though. - I was like, this gonna be a wasabi color. (laughing) - People need to call more things wasabi color and that is true. - Yes. - And that's true. - And that's true. - Wait, do you know what I'm having really bad PR right now? - So you were never into this show but I was an avid watcher of the Basharrette. - Yeah. - And there was a time when people were sacrificing six to eight hours of their week on these shows and if you got on these shows and you got the good at it and you made it at least five episodes, like you were made as an influencer. Like you'd have over 800,000 followers. you'd be going on the other excursions, Batcharat, Island, Scandinavia, - And I see mountains. - Like you were made. And then obviously they had drama with the host and they lost the host. He got canceled and then-- - Oh, right. I think for God that time. - Yeah. - Anything that happened during COVID, I'm like, I actually don't remember. Well people are saying we feel 27, 28 'cause that's when COVID happened and that's when all of our lives stopped. - Now that we're as many years out as we are from COVID, it really did change our lives. Like I think because we're millennials, we're like, oh yeah, like another crazy thing happened. - Yeah. - Like really don't think we're sitting and realizing how much it, like I keep saying, maybe this is because of reality TV too. I used to have so much fun in my life prior to COVID. Yeah, it's so much fun. - She goes like, you should do this thing called fun? - Yeah, I have, I'm genuinely. I can't, and I don't mean fun like day to day fun. Like I have fun every day, I'm doing something. I look with kiddie, something fun is happening. - Yeah. - And I don't even mean in like work stuff. Like okay, we went to the Devil Wars product. So fun. I haven't had a night out of fun. Like stupid fun, that means nothing debatery, didn't plan this fun in years. - Not to relate to Lena Dunham, but she said somewhere in an article that she hates organized fun. - I hate it. - And I've never, I was like, no one's put it into those words. I'm so bad at organized fun. Like whenever people are like, this is supposed to be fun, then I'm immediately in my head. I'm like, why am I so different from the rest of the world? Like why can't I see anything like other people? - You're so dramatic. - I'm so, I'm listening. They'll be like, why can't you for once? Just fucking me normal. - You're so the girl like looking out the window at like 12 years old. - I'm different. - I'm always looking out the mirror. No but no one is like me. - That my first immediate thought is New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is a great example of like everybody's having fun. And we're all going here. We're gonna have fun in every year. I'm like, this is the worst and I'm going home. - Yeah, well New Year's, when I came back from Florida and was going to school at Beacon, Upper West Side, it was like the first time I was invited to like a cool Manhattan. And it was not cool. It was like me and like my seven friends, who were not doing hard drugs. Like we were not the drugies. We were like kind of athletes. - Boring. - Well no one was telling me about the drugs. - Yeah, it was fun about the drugs. But like we're like 17. And I remember as playing Fear Pong. And yeah, getting so drunk that I like through the ping pong and it like hit the wall. Like I was like falling as I was throwing it. And I passed out and puked. And then my mom called the police because she was like the one time how it goes to a party. Because I was supposed to come home that night I guess. And I passed out and I didn't come home. My mom thought I died. - You were a missing person. - Your mom literally thought you were a missing person. - And my mom's in Brooklyn being like my daughters on the island of Manhattan. That's why I can't have fun. I ruined everyone's hair. - And there was no location sharing. - No, she just was like she's dead in the dumpster somewhere. - The way that we are probably gonna like live our mom's dreams. Like my mom would have given her left arm for them to have invented location sharing in the year 2006. Like when I entered high school. - Like that would have been her dream. - Gen Z is like our jealous of us for certain nostalgic things, which is so valid. Like I would be too if I didn't have to go up with a phone. But the fact that we didn't have location sharing or ring cameras is iconic. - I mean the way I'm going to torture my children. Like I'm literally gonna put an apple air tag in my child's shoe. Like in case they big. Like there's no situation that like they're moving and I'm not knowing exactly where they are in today's day and age. It's actually kind of sad. Like I'm gonna be so annoying as a mom 'cause I'm gonna be like tell me everything. - I was with a mom recently whose kid goes to school in the city like teenager and she was tracking the Uber and was like annoyed with the route that Uber was going to get them somewhere. She was like why would they take that bridge? And I'm like the fact you know this and she's like texting him. Tell him not to take the bridge. And I was like guys everyone calm down. Like we need to have Uber's. How do we get place to taxis? Subway? - But you know what's so funny is that it's just like not all men. We wouldn't have to be tracking everyone and knowing where our kids were at all times and tracking Uber's if the men were in out here doing weird fucking shit. But not all of them. - So back to the batcher. - Back to the batcher. - Yeah, oh yeah. - So more Higgins was recently interviewed being like do you want to be the batcher at? 'Cause that was like it's kind of the thing like if you got famous and you were single. Well no the batcher never really had famous people on it but I guess they asked me if I do want to be the batcher at. And she literally was like I think I'd rather not be. I don't want to be the batcher at she's like I don't want a man. I want space to myself having a ton of men in my vicinity is literally my nightmare. Sierra also was like fuck that. I would never want to be on the batcher at and deal with a bunch of like thirsty dudes that want to be famous through me. - She can do it and she doesn't have to be on TV. It's giving Rihanna like 2008. What are you looking for in a man and her being like I'm not looking for a man. - Yeah, but I think it's just so funny. There was a time where being the batcher at was like the coolest thing. You get to pick from all these guys who want to do protein ads on their Instagram and start their own workout company. - It's funny because I saw a TikTok the other day that was talking about how we'll always say since the beginning of time that women are like gold diggers or they're looking to marry someone who has a lot of money or has a big job or like can provide for them and blah, blah, blah. But we never talk about how men can also marry extremely well. And it's never even brought up that like oh wow, that guy really married well. Like his whole existence and actually they were giving the example was Emma grade because she's like getting a lot of criticism for like random stuff. She's on her book tour and people were like I'm sick of her or she's speaking to like rich women. She's not speaking to you. Like there were just like all these different discourse things about her. And one of the things I saw was her husband, they were talking about her husband. And it was like yeah, he's a businessman but his best investment ever was her. And that like he knew that she could take whatever he was doing and blow it up 10 times more. And I just think that I feel like women never get, you never get that like accolade of like well actually he married well and I changed his whole life. But that's like Michelle Obama. Yeah, actually they were, he was another example. Like Barack Obama actually married extremely well. And the probably half the reason he got the presidency is because he had a phenomenal wife behind him. And I just want to add to this conversation too that people's what makes a person is more than what they look like and how much money they make. There's something about like integrity and kindness. Character. And drive and character and conversation that makes like a quality person. So just when you see numbers on a page or like someone with like a nice nose, like let's like stop for a second. It's because people do marry people without considering their character. And that's why there's 50% of divorce. Every day. They're doing it every day. I had a friend text me a guy friend of mine text me because he saw one of our clips. And one of the clips was me being like if you're a 36 year old man and you're trying to date like a 26 year old girl like what do you have in common? And I was like, I was like the guy wants to go younger because anyone, a woman his age probably isn't putting up with as much shit as someone 26 because maybe they have an experience that they don't know. And they're just more apt to like put up with your bullshit. And he texted me and he was like, this is so not accurate. And he was like the perfect person to text me and say that. Yeah, but it was just interesting how life really imitates art. And no one in my real life ever will text me like something that's set on Gagley Squag 'cause I'm like this is a safe space. This is like my personal journal. But that was an interesting text that I got. Shout out to Ria from "Trix in the Office." She did something really funny. I think her husband was like annoyed with her for some reason or something happened. And she was like, this is what I always do to make him feel better. And she goes up to him with her hand. And she goes, look how much bigger your hands are than mine to make him happy. And I was like genius. Whenever he's like in his head or like upset about something just stroke his ego and be like look at my little hand and you're just so big strong. That's actually really depressing because sometimes my hands are bigger. Well actually as I was saying it I was like this isn't for all women. If you just heard Hannah say that do not feel slated my fingers are so long. Typically my fingers are always gonna be longer. I also can't do that with men with calves. I can't be like look how much bigger your calves are than mine never mine. One person who does have as long fingers as you is Haley Bieber. You have similar font of fingers. When she does her skincare I'm like oh yeah. Her page could have finger pinky. What's it called pinky? Pinkie swears like crazy. Our pinky swears would go nuts. They'd wrap all the way around the city block. I mean do you remember how powerful a pinky square was? Back in the day. I still put a lot of onus on a pinky swear. Like all sign a deal with a pinky swear. I'm like but you swear. No there's something about pinky swear. That was my first born I just gave away. Yeah because it's very um I think because it comes from childhood it's like you mean it. Like you wouldn't fuck with a little kid so like you're being serious right? Like that's your inner child. Yeah it's like you wouldn't lie to my inner child. Shout out to a really good press tour of a movie star. Like and you know there's like stars and then they're like oh that's a movie star. Yeah I love this. Like this is a celebrity. Like this is like I'm like a gasp every time I see her. Charlize Theron. Yes. And I think I added a little a little hoodspot to us. To the end of her name but first of all if your name is Charlize Theron you can't know. There are P.A. movies. The. What the fuck. I'm saying like Theron. Yeah. She's Theron. That is? She's that. She's at least there. I'm just looking something up about her. Keep talking. She's a movie star. Her looks have been so cool. Like it's a kind of thing that like yeah other people could try to copy but it's not gonna hit. When she stepped out in that like men's suit. I think it was YSL but it was like men's like she put that thing around her neck. Oh she is so gorgeous and people don't I mean people do talk about her but like it was kind of game over when she walked out. I was like oh and that's that's a celebrity. Like bring back celebrities. Did you know that her mom killed her dad in self-defense like during a domestic violence situation? And that's where all our conversations go. I'm pretty sure she I'd have to look up the story but I heard this. I was a partied in South Africa. It was crazy violence and yeah the mom defending herself shot her dad and her mom still alive. And I think she like watched it. I think like Charlize was like in the room. She was like 13 or something. I mean I cannot imagine but that's why one of her like Oscar speeches she broke down thinking her mom who was there for like everything she did to protect her. I love her. So I'm gonna be sure least they're in. You're that girl we love you. I think she has a movie out. She does on Netflix but like a thriller you know how I feel about it. I'm scared of the girls. No I'm scared. I'm scared. It's like a knock. Anyway you guys to end on that note. Thank you for giggling us. We love you so much. Anything else Paige? No I feel good. Perfect perfect have an amazing week. Keep her head up. Bye!