Giggling about pranks, perfectionism, and dance anxiety

what's up my galloping gigglers that's a good one we've been really horse themed recently i'm not sure why you created a lot of backlash because everyone was like we have a horse team in texas it's called the mavericks you dumb bitch you can't just say that to me like you've created a lot of backlash like that will put me into a literal spiral that's the kind of backlash i love to have like oh my god i wouldn't let page start the pod because i'm trying to put together the perfect text message that's a name drop to maria sharpova and um obviously everything it's either like way too lovey-dovey or like not giving it the justice it deserves how old is she is she our age this is the thing she raised me but she's only like three years older than me because she won wimbledon at 17 is she the youngest woman to win there were younger like 15 16 year olds there was a time where girls were winning like pretty young but she came in and beat serena williams in the final wimbledon at 17 years old and everyone's like a star is born it was lady gaga how old was serena williams at the time i think in her 20s but like it was her 20s so everyone was like oh serena has got this girl no yeah i'm like sorry i'm still processing yesterday but let's before we get into it i'm just trying to think like wait what's the greatest thing i ever did at 17 and i think it was like that was the year that everyone was like page can do hair well like you could do other people's hair yeah but i really couldn't but for whatever reason i was on the prom circuit oh so you just had good pr you weren't actually it was all smoke you got lucky once and then you like it ran like wildfire i had phenomenal pr in high school if i could bring back my pr from high school into i was mysterious no one really knew does she drink we don't know does she have a boyfriend she's very candid what was the hair your go-to hairstyle like when a girl came up to you it was like i need my hair done you were like this is the page look okay i'm not kidding i straight up was a consultant in like my senior year of high school come to my locker be like this is the dress what are the shoes accessories in the hair and i'd be like you're smoking a cigarette you're like okay pulled to the side cascading are you following me i'm like not a necklace that will be detrimental to your well-being it's an earring it's a larger earring it's a bracelet and a shoe we don't see the shoe it's a clear loose like i would go off i think you need to consult with my sister ma genie because lois she's taking it next level she refused to wear her soccer jersey because she said it was too big and ugly well ben there done that i quit i quit t-ball okay i said mom what the hell is this i said no i'm not going lois is me i am lois well you want to know what is funny i got tagged i kept getting tagged in this instagram like real so like finally i'm watching it and it's this mom being to her first day of kindergarten and i'm freaking out because she picked out an outfit and i'm scared that the teachers are going to be like you're a bad mom basically so i'm like watching this video watching this i'm like waiting for the outfit i'm like it's going to be something crazy like a bathing suit and all this stuff i see the outfit i go honey you should take notes from your daughter that is the perfect first day outfit i've ever seen it's called editorial i go it's giving classy it's giving professional but it's giving whimsy it's giving i can move like i'm like i think your daughter's worried about you babe i think i think she's worried how you're gonna show up to bring her on her first day now when i was a child i didn't have that angst because my mom like she would walk in as like a chaperone for like a field trip and i would be like you other bitches could never like do you i would literally look at other girls and be like we're not the same here she's wearing high heels to the apple orchard we aren't the same we aren't the same i'll never forget that bitch's apple orchard outfit i couldn't believe she showed up it was perfect i can't believe her friends because i literally like two years ago i started being like oh i should put an outfit together it's been my whole life i quit cheerleading my senior year because i wanted to put outfits together for the friday night football games i literally go i can't be a cheerleader anymore i have to be creative no you've missed very important zoom meetings because you're planning your outfits for the week i'm like if it wasn't on my schedule i can't just jump to it oh my god wait so when did you fly to venice okay what day is it it's monday because i know you had to leave yesterday but like it all gets confusing you know we get thrown when page was overseas i flew friday sunday night my flight was at 9 p.m i flew 9 p.m landed here monday morning but really it was like 11 a.m here but it was like 5 a.m your time i couldn't sleep on the flight at all and that is so not me so when i was landing i started like having a panic attack that i didn't have like sleep deprivation and i'm gonna like pass out and i'm like it's gonna be so hot and then like i have to take a boat transfer and like what if i get nauseous honestly i'm so dramatic no but everyone talks about i'm going to europe i'm going to europe and i'm like it's stressful no my body really does need to acclimate here's the thing about venice and i've only been here for a couple hours and most of it in my room because i fell asleep they're not kidding that you take a boat everywhere i thought it was a bit i thought it was a full i thought it was like optional boat and then like you could like you can walk around i thought the gondola was like times square like you can see elmo if you want to i thought it was optional okay no cars there's no cars wait did you have have to paddle like you just get like this little like cigarette boat there's literally spot it looks like bus stops but it's for boats it's the cutest thing i've ever seen in my life it's the i've never been here before i am i feel like i'm in a movie it's quite literally the prettiest place i've ever been obviously i've been to capri a bunch this is a different type of beauty like capri feels very vacation this is like italy yeah this is like oh my god my ancestors i was gonna say now you're with your people i do love that you go to the same vacation every year because it's like no drama you know what's going on but i'm like let's see some culture let's see some things my dad would be dying he'd be like but capri's right over there why don't we also this hotel room the wooden planks on the like it's already the aesthetic i'm vibing with it wait i want to like give you i want to like give you a tour the audio people love this the bathroom's in there and then like back there is like the toilet i'm gonna be honest the way they set it up the feng shui not the smartest italians don't do feng shui no italians don't do that the bathroom is bigger than like the bedroom part which i'm like honestly fine you could have used that the last italian vacation yeah i could have used this massive tub that there's two tubs in there it's venice is a very it feels very honeymoonish oh the only thing is it's you're not swimming in that water like i was like oh do people jump in this and they were like no that's disgusting you don't swim in the venice water so i feel like it's not like i don't consider that it to be a vacation if i'm not putting my bathing suit on and getting going in water anytime people are like oh i'm going on a ski vacation i'm going i'm like no you're going on a ski work trip that's a work trip all this shit you gotta pack and put on that's work talk about accessories don't get me started we did not we haven't skied because does torres acl because i prayed for it um and here we are you want to know what we probably never will again because now we're with two men that have zero interest in it they both have new problems yeah if we want to go on a ski vacation it would have to be just the two of us i think it would be like we book a show in aspen and end up being there for like three days and we shop one of the days and one of the days we like drink hot chocolate done i'm glad we wrapped that up glad we figured that out i can't believe you're in fucking italy right now i'm so i'm like i can't believe it but um i was gallivanting all weekend where i i feel like i saw that i didn't check your location but i saw your instagram story and you were glam and you were here and you were there no i was you guys this is my mic alla the u.s. but you know that and this was my weekend i did a lululemon party um and then after the party i went to another party who does that you know what's crazy about friends you're my this it's a pyramid right it's definitely oh and at the top did you ever watch dance moms actually you know i've never watched an episode of dance moms wow that was really bratty you gotta it's some of the best reality tv you - You gotta, you're at the top of the pyramid. You trickle down, about you everyone talks about you when anyone asks anything they have to consider you involved anything anyone tells me will be told to you anyway to some people i'm an imaginary friend they've never seen me they've just heard about me but you feel your presence always next to me like it's like a ghost sometimes people just talk to you when they're with me they're like can you tell page and i'm like or they'll just ask me about you and i'm just like you're a vessel to me i'm a literal vessel and spiritual vessel um but then i have these like i have my comedy friends who like have saved my life like comedy friends when i'm with them you know when you just feel like oh these are my people like they make fun of everything can i give you a compliment yeah you pick great friends how many bad people have i introduced you to some of the worst people you've ever met i've introduced you to some of the worst people you've ever met i've introduced you to some of the worst people you've ever met i've introduced you to some of the worst people you have you always find genuine nice women do you know my mom early on i remember middle school i was like complaining about something and she was like what if you hung out with people who liked you okay and i was like that's heavy i'm seven years old that was heavy for the fifth grade yeah that's heavy i'm like well they just don't like me because they don't know me yet and they haven't seen the sides of me thank you that's such a nice thing to say i do think i'm definitely quality over quantity and also i am better one-on-one i'm not that great in a group setting yeah i just feel like anyone you've introduced me to i've genuinely been like whether or not like i've kept a friendship with them or not i've genuinely been like that's a really good person a great example is hayley hayley's a perfect example of someone where i'm just like that's probably one of the nicest people i've ever met in my life that's a little angel it's just the friends you keep around you like their energy i don't know if this is the right word but it like bleeds on to you and like i cannot have like dirty fake weird vibes yeah close to me at all it's like i'm just like really sensitive yeah where like i'm like you can handle more than me because you could disassociate i think she's a sociopath let's find out i'm like do you think she'll skin me and wear me and then date my boyfriend let's see let's hang out with her for a year just to get to the bottom of it i love a fun crazy girlfriend to live vicariously through but a lot of them i don't care what they do i like when their heart their heart is there totally and then i met the comedy friends and i was like oh these are my people like this is they are joking about everything they're able to be self-aware and laugh at themselves i'm like i love this but then i forget like i have so many friendships from the tennis world that like i just haven't rekindled because i haven't seen and after this little lemon party there was this other party called the racket mag party the team bug party party and i was with um ayan who is francis tiapo's girlfriend who like played tennis for ucla madison appell shout out who um was number one for indiana like i'm just and i'm like it's so funny how you you have different identities and like in that moment i was like tennis hannah again i was like we're just some athletes hanging out we're just we're just athletes some former division one athletes who have make it their whole personality i feel like society kind of teaches you you have one friend group and that's your friend group and if you don't stay friends with them for the rest of your life you're kind of a bad person because they've known you when in reality i think it's so much nicer to have different friends also in your 30s it's so different having friends than in your 20s it's like for sure complete different life but it's also funny how many people from the beginning like come back around because they were that girl like the people who are meant to stick around will you don't have to force friendships with people from when you were little right what's crazy with tennis though is like we weren't friends we actually fucking hated each other right like imagine you it's similar to you with like all the other models that you'd see in your child modeling how you were like i'm trying to put it in your perspective i was gonna say like when i see people from other reality shows that i have nothing to do with i feel like we already have a connection because we both did a reality show yes but back then like i would see all these girls names on the draw and they were it was just like they were standing between me and like my dreams right oh okay i literally had to fight them for a spot yeah the girl that beat me out for the barbie commercial who then got her own show on nickelodeon yeah yeah think about like a ton of victoria justices in the room and there were some that i got along with really well but it was still like looked down upon to like be good friends with girls it was almost like you were weak like you weren't tough and you weren't scary yeah you had to walk in and everyone needed to be scared of you and you know that's not my vibe so if you were at a tournament and it was like you you would you go into like a girl's locker room you would love the vibe of a tournament everyone has their own outfit like you get to wear whatever you want and you walk in and you're with like your dad or your coach and you just wait around for your name to be called and then you and the girl don't say a word to each other get the balls and go on the court and battle it out so where are you prior to the court waiting you're just like in a tennis club so like you're all just like got it not talking to each other in the tennis club waiting and like you're warming up sometimes you intimidate people by like doing some crazy warm-up was there ever like fights in terms of outfits or like she always wears her hair like well there would be like every now and then a girl would like get sponsored by nike so like the girls that got sponsored by nike or adidas like one day they'd walk in like wearing the outfit that like maria sharpova just wore at the u.s open and you were like oh she's that girl oh okay because she got attention from brands yeah wow okay okay so like she was wearing all the best stuff where sometimes i mean i'd be showing up to these tournaments wild with a sophie short and like a ripped shirt are there any rules on things you can't wear i don't believe not wear a baggy t-shirt i don't believe so there's some rules like in tournaments where like you can't wear logos that are too big and wimbledon you have to wear white but like wimbledon you have to wear all white you knew that i didn't you knew that maybe i knew that and it was deep in my brain but i love that i think that's why you first fell in love with the sport and you forgot how you first fell in love with it well no i think i first fell in love that i realized it was all grass like it was all greenery one thing about me i love a plant i love oxygen i go it's giving wedding aesthetic i love it's giving the background of a brunch wedding has anyone ever gotten married at wimbledon that's a really good question it's also very you like it because it's like impossible to become a member of the wimbledon tennis club like you have to win to be like invited or you have to be like your dad had to like invent london toaster strudels you like the explosivity of it um yeah sunday long story short i walk into rock and mac party and you know me a second i walked to a party i'm like we got to get out of here yeah but immediately i see some kid guy gary who i literally trained with in brooklyn and he's just like hannah i'm like gary and shout out gary i see this guy kahari who played on the beacon boys tennis team with me runned up to me gives me a bear hug and immediately i'm like a kid again just like a tennis players like i cry talking about it and i'm just seeing all these faces and i'm seeing these girls who like i they're tennis influencers now who i follow and i'm like i know you played for ucla like this girl chanel and i'm like i've always like looked up to you and she's like i saw your name in the draws too like it's so cool what you're up to and i'm like do you know tennis was crazy right we just like had this like out of cult moment where i was like i know that we never talked to each other before but like yeah i love you like i'm so proud of you like i'm so proud of these girls once like you have children and then you like run into someone from high school in the grocery store it's like that vibe yeah where you're like oh my god where'd your life go congrats no i was so proud of everyone but it was just so cool to feel community and like different places because there was a moment where it was just the gigglers that's all i had yeah that's all i was and that's honestly that's all i actually want that's all i need i actually don't want any outside groups coming in it's done the next day i drove to dc and by drove i mean got driven aiden and des drove me to dc for a wedding my first wedding of the summer i didn't know you had a wedding this past weekend i know i was and then we drove back that night oh i know it was a lot but a giggler came up to me she was like hey what are you doing here it actually is funny when you see gigglers out in the wild doing like the most mundane thing no she was like what are you doing at this random family wedding right now in washington dc that's nice though that des doesn't drink so he could drive home i do have to say shout out to des and aiden you know what they did what aiden put on dolly parton the whole ride and he's like obsessed with dolly parton and just like saying dolly parton and talked about how amazing she is the whole time honestly after 30 minutes that pissed me off two out two and a half hours of dolly parton okay i love her okay jesus the way i sat in the back they sat in the front they were like yeah car ride i went full uber driver they tried talking to me i was like no thank you no talk just you have to lay down put your headphones on lay down didn't say a word they were like are you okay and i was like i put no talking on the uber app like please leave me alone so yeah the wedding was fun i did a lot of dancing speeches but i just you went to more weddings this summer than me i'm so sick of weddings i really there's literally i don't want to go to any weddings next year i have one wedding my girlfriend ariana next summer in greece that is like the only wedding i want to go to from now till then i did it was a church wedding too and i haven't been in church in a minute um long long sermons um long long sermons can i say something that's like a bit controversial and like people might look at me differently but i'm just gonna like speak my truth you love a church wedding i do love a church wedding i definitely will have a church wedding as someone who like travels with rosary beads yeah obviously i actually was packing my bag to go to the airport and i was like hannah would die laughing i have like a rosary beads case with rosaries in them and like a little handkerchief that my grandma gave me that i think was a little bit too big for me i was like oh my god i'm gonna go to the airport it was her mom's that's beautiful so i have that but then i also have another rosary bead case that has this like little charm lock on it that my grandpa gave me and i travel with both those items and i used to keep them in my car because i feel like wherever i go they protect me anyway that's like a not even that's a whole nother podcast that's a whole nother podcast at weddings i and like i've been obviously i've been to family weddings i've been to like close friends weddings i've been to like i'm the plus one i don't know anyone at this wedding it does not matter what the wedding is i don't feel comfortable dancing ever i don't care who i'm with i don't care who my date is i don't care like how comfortable i am at the wedding it doesn't really ever cross my mind to get on the dance floor at my wedding at some point there was like a crazy grind line where someone's feet were being held in the air and like there was and you were i remember seeing you just like you were sitting that's insane i have a traumatizing wedding dance story it's not it's not that traumatizing but i just remember i was like 17 and you know like actually that's like the weirdest age to be at a wedding because you're like it's so weird you're like i just remember being like i don't want to dance like i was like you want to dance and you're like oh i wasn't gonna work with you and then yeah i tried to dance i think and then i like came down sat down and my mom was on the dance floor and i was sitting with my dad and my dad goes what come on he goes you see how she moves her hips that's how you need to learn how to dance and i was like what the fuck yeah maybe it's because i don't think consider myself a dancer like i don't consider myself a good dancer that maybe that's my insecurity but i don't but then i look at people and i'm like okay well i couldn't dance as well as that person so it's not that i just think it's like i don't know what it is in me that i'm just like i don't wanna wait no one's talking about dance anxiety it's so fucking real and i feel it the second i hit the dance floor i'm like everyone's staring at me right now and then i'm like oh i didn't hit everyone's staring at me didn't hit that oh and then like bad bunny comes on and i'm like i don't know if i said i don't know if i could yeah i just like feel i feel more comfortable being like at the bar and mingling yeah then i do going on the dance floor you guys know des loves dancing does he he did dancing with the stars in ireland you guys should all google it it's a crazy era in his life so when you get to a wedding and you see like okay come on let's get on the dance floor yeah so then i was talking to a giggler obviously and i'm looking at him middle of the dance floor going crazy starting to sweat waving me over i'm pretending i can't see him and he keeps keeping me over dying in that moment and i'm like in a deep conversation with the giggler and i'm like yeah mom is working right now and then finally i'm like fine as i go over the crowd like he's everyone's like yeah come in they start opening up next you know i'm in the middle of a circle no and i look at him in the eye like my eyes were scared i was like i did not sign up to be the middle of the circle i signed into like be on the side dancing middle of the circle so scary because only move i have is the worm otherwise like what do you do in the middle and you can't bust out the worm at not a close friend's wedding this is des's friend's wedding this is not even my friends no like my friend's anything i do they're like no that was funny hannah this is who what the fuck's going on who let that girl dance for even though you're his wife essentially as a plus one at a wedding i feel like it's your duty to kind of like i don't think you should stand out a hundred percent i don't think you get in the middle of the floor and you're commanding the room because at some point people are gonna go who is this person a hundred percent and yeah like i don't need to be dancing you know with the mom and the grandma in the middle doing like they were like greek and we started doing like a greek i was teaching people like but look if you have fun you have fun and totally there's some people that you should hire for your weddings like that are just really good wedding guests like they add to the vibe it takes one person to make a wedding fun hannah i was thinking about that because i was like i don't for my own future wedding i don't want to kill the vibe of the dance floor and i was like what if i just hired actors that were like dancers that like got people to dance in the hamptons we met maurice through southampton social and he is the most fun amazing guy ever who i stay in touch with and for my wedding obviously he was invited when i tell you he made my wedding yeah like maurice was the dj the hose the dancer the greeter like he did everything who was your dj i don't remember who did your i got like a cool girl dj and the music was like i don't know i don't know i don't anyway oh my god it was so long ago good it hannah it feels so long ago i was like was that when weddings like i don't even remember you guys i picked the first dress i picked out in a strip mall like this was a different time that was like a fever dream like i don't that is great you're married wait i i got announced yesterday they were like and next is hannah burner who resides and i was like definitely have a husband wait i have a question has dez ever said anything because have you ever had a conversation about changing your last name we've talked about the concept of it but he he knew i mean we've talked about i was like can our kids have my last name oh would you okay okay you took it one step further okay as someone who has thought about changing my last name my whole life like literally even when i was like 10 years old i'd be like and isn't it crazy i won't always be page to sorbo you're so different i literally was like my name is burner it'll always be burner and i was gonna take that from me i'd be like what do you think my last name will be let be and my mom would be like i don't know but right now it's just sorbo now at 33 honey i'm page to sorbo i am no one else i am page to sorbo and those kids can have his last name fine i don't really even know those kids yet so i am fine with that but my name i don't want to change my last name anymore which i never thought never even if you asked me like five years ago are you going to change your last name i'd be like well yeah it's so crazy you've changed a lot over the last three years through this podcast i've changed a lot i've changed a lot through this but i when i did morgan stewart i was talking about our tour and how like transformational it was for me as a woman our tour and your bachelorette party were two really pivotal moments womanhood because you did a photo shoot the whole bachelorette i just felt myself and you were like i just felt like it was finally a time for everyone to celebrate me yeah it was like finally my time to shine you know i'll never forget that green sparkly dress i think about that green sparkly dress all the time i can't find it you're like finally women embraced me as i am truly and you were there people have been re-listening to the pod from the beginning someone was like and i was like are we like really fucking stupid in the beginning and then they like kind of paused and i'm like have we actually evolved and changed at all and she was like not really no and thank god and thank god imagine now imagine we like evolved into like this is like a news podcast or something no even like when we have children like i don't want to talk about them no they're gonna be like des we're like they'll be mentioned yeah like they'll we'll know about them there's a lot of wellness brands out there that often greenwash their products and that means that they try and make it seem like it's more natural or clean than they really are have you ever ordered something that claims it's going to do something and then it just never does well nature sunshine doesn't just talk about the planet they sustainably source ingredients and craft their supplements with 100 solar powered manufacturing other companies use nature as branding nature sunshine builds everything around it pure potent ingredients that are thoughtfully sourced and preserved i love their brain edge for clean cognitive support it combines traditional yerba mate with nootropic adaptogens and botanicals that help support mental clarity focus and stamina if you're looking for healthier skin they also have a marine glow the only collagen that combines skin supporting marine collagen with the sun and blue light protection of lutein to defend skin against damage and boost moisture try nature sunshine and experience the difference with supplements that are better for you and the planet go to naturesunshine.com today and use code giggly for 20 off your first order plus shipping that's code giggly for 20 off your first order at naturesunshine.com i went to the u.s open last night and when you get there now like the u.s open wasn't like this now it's like you get out and there's immediately a red carpet and someone asked me like interview was like where's page and i was like pages and bennis she couldn't make it she was supposed to be here with me but i ended up watching the novak djokovic match and he like puked the whole time wait i saw that on my instagram yeah i was we're sitting there watching the headline was like his body betrayed him i was like oh okay but when i do it it's like maybe you're weak no i like he walked to the side and i'm like i can see him from there and i'm like he just puked and does is like there's no way he just puked i'm like i saw water come out of his mouth wow i wonder what was going on dehydration who knows but it was like just watching a man maybe he was anxious looks like he was gonna fight faint like the whole thing so but it was beautiful it was very fun and he lost in five sets no in five sets it was a five hour match we didn't even get to see venus williams we had to leave because it was past des's bedtime um oh my god what time did they go on like at midnight also venus is like in her 40s they made a gron at midnight wait wait wait yeah wait yeah and then played for how long probably two hours no no tennis is the sport is insane like why wouldn't they just be like okay back tomorrow morning because there's a whole schedule and it affects the whole draw but venus definitely was like are you fucking kidding yeah i feel like that's like a crazy disadvantage well but no other sport i mean golf takes forever yeah but like it's not the same kind of physical stuff tennis you could you could play a five hour match just you running for five hours thank you so much for bringing that up because i saw like this this golf thing the other day they were interviewing someone and it was like a golfer that i'd like recognized but i saw an interview with him and i was like oh my god he got so old like i guess i haven't seen him in like years whatever i don't even know what his name is irrelevant but then they were showing like other golfers that are like top golfers right now and i'm like i'm like wait a minute i look in the mirror every single day and i look at my body and i think how could you be better and that's the plate that women have to bear that's the burden that we live with and i'm looking at these men and i'm like never once you thought i'm a professional athlete maybe i'll lay off the oreos this week i mean it's shocking hannah it's actually shocking is there another sport where you don't have to be physically fit at all i mean at all these men i'm like how many beers you put down last night that is a crazy gut if i've ever seen one you're only 35 what is your excuse i'm gonna have an argument if you have to wear a belt when you play it's not a real sport and i'm gonna concur with that as someone who's never played a sport but has worn a belt i concur and i love golf but it's it's more of a sports skill than like a full sport i just feel like if there's a chance not saying i would win but if there's a chance i could beat you in a race i don't think that you're a professional athlete okay you're very crazy you're very fast okay as the fastest girl in the fourth grade i i understand that but i just thought it was i was just looking at them and i was like oh my god it must be so nice to be a professional male golfer because you don't have any body dysmorphia at all and you don't have you don't have like a body standard you also get to just like fuck off your family for seven hours because you're doing a job and playing with your boys and then traveling the world and like never calling your kids it's kind of crazy but anyway i recorded a podcast with maria sharapova yesterday and i'm still processing i saw that on your instagram so it was a live recording of a pod yeah so your outfit was oh my god thank you it was a zimmerman set that i found online you looked like a professional tennis player who was coming to give a talk so i'm such a nerd that i was like i know maria sharapova's fashion style like even in this era of her life like i know what she likes to wear and i was like she would wear this and i walked in and she complimented my outfit and i was like honestly i was trying to channel you and she immediately starts joking she's like i mean i would have tucked in the shirt and immediately i'm like i fucking love her this is maria sharapova by the way this is one of the greatest tennis players to ever play the game who raised me even though she's like three years old than me if someone ever said that to me i would have started crying no no we immediately start busting each other's balls because look when you meet really famous people you're like oh my god people they're all kind of energies that you get totally and i you leave the room sometimes being like wow like i didn't even make eye contact with that yeah like that was weird that was scary like they really did not want to make eye contact with me and then you think it's your fault like i think i threw up after i interviewed martha stewart i was like that was the scariest thing i've ever done in my fucking life and by the way maria sharapova is known to be like intimidating on the court that's her whole thing like she never smiles she she's she's got the slavic energy she's she's serious yeah strongest mental she's incredible and i immediately were like joking and laughing and then i didn't realize it it was her first ever live show her first ever live podcast oh wow this is so maria sharapova wasn't nervous at all like just like didn't even mention to me we're just standing there do you think there's any tennis players that take beta blockers i don't know if you could do it like during a physical activity like tennis i don't know if it affects like the oxygen to your brain interesting because i've thought about it but i think they're on like ssris for sure i need to know what the professional athletes are doing when they get anxious also maria sharapova so savage the podcast begins she's interviewing me which by the way is the weirdest thing ever and she goes this is a quote from you i'm now in stand-up comedy but my dream was to win wimbledon i go okay okay right to the heart so then i just look at her and i go um yeah what was it like to win wimbledon and she goes felt pretty fucking good and we're just like literally making that's so your type of friend i knew i was gonna be enamored by her i didn't know i was gonna fucking vibe with her like the chemistry was just so fucking fun like i just wanted her not be annoyed by me and then it got into i was like she's gonna be annoyed by me and then i was like she's gonna she felt like i was with a sister i don't mean to like make you jealous no it's okay because that's how i felt about morgan stewart about martha stewart no morgan stewart i just said martha stewart i was like martha definitely didn't vibe with me that's for sure that's on camera there was disgusting but when i met morgan i was like so nervous and then i was like wait we're friends i was like we have the same personality when someone makes you feel like you could be yourself immediately you stop being a weirdo and yeah i spent an hour with her and like just the effect she had if you google martha marcia yeah her fashion is next level she also came on like she's blonde she's like the six two russian but she like knew herself and every girl wanted to be maria sharapova growing up did she grow up in russia or she grew up here she was born in russia and then at a very young age her parents like put all their money into like imagine being like we're putting everything into this like six-year-old girl and i was with her manager her agent he's been her agent since she was 11 years old oh my god i was like how did you know she was the one he's like i looked at the tense academy you knew you're like she's gonna do it and like four years five years later she won wimbledon wow good for her but it's crazy she's 39 and she's lived so long and she's been a member of the so much life yeah oh okay so chelsea handler has always been friends with maria sharapova and like i would see chelsea handler in her box watching her matches and i thought was like the coolest thing i've talked about this but like i just need to reiterate and then maria sharapova on the pod it comes out on wednesday pretty tough pod um but she tells this story that is so funny about chelsea handler which is so chelsea so chelsea chelsea goes to the olympics in london like 10 years ago with her now for chelsea obviously this is a vacation this is fun we're drinking pims yeah and she puts her in the players box now in the players box at the front is the coaches who are like coaching right right she says she looks at her players box chelsea handler's next to her coach yapping cracking jokes making fun of him drinking probably on drugs um leaving coming back like just chaos and maria sharapova was like what is she doing but sharapova wins the match and is like superstitious so she She's like, hey, Chelsea, you have to do that for the next, like, the whole tournament. You have to sit there. So then Chelsea stays the whole tournament. And in the finals, Sharapova loses to Serena. And she said Chelsea came up to her afterwards and said, what the fuck was that? Oh, my gosh. But anyway, shout out to girls, girls, because that is the kind of support I want to have for women. Shout out to women in sports and women supporting women in sports and Chelsea Handler. And Chelsea Handler. And by the way, Chelsea, she is that girl. Like, she's that person who will support you even if she's drunk. And that's important. That's really important in our society. We're not always in our right minds. Because I've had a lot of people who get drunk and don't support me. I've had the exact opposite happen in pretty much every relationship I've been in. But anyway, now I'm trying to put together a text back. To Marisha Sharapova, I don't know what to do. But, like, I'll deal with that on my own time. I love that. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that dissertation. Yeah, I was really excited to tell everyone about it. Are you excited for the next couple of days? I'm very excited for the next couple of days. Josephine has a schedule for me running. She wants to see this. She wants to go here. She wants to try this restaurant. We should get pictures over here. So I'm just, like, going to go by her schedule. I flew in a day early than I needed to be here because I really. My body's so sensitive. I really needed to just, like, relax and unpack my clothes and make sure I had all my outfits ready and, like. One thing, Hannah, there's no shower in my room. Because they want you to bathe and eat, like, tortellini? There's two tubs next to each other, okay? Oh, they want you to hold hands with your romantic partner. Wait. So there's a bathroom over here, right? It's two tubs, two sinks. You think, sure, where's the toilet? You have to come out of the bathroom, round a corner. There's another bathroom, just a toilet and a sink. And no shower. And no shower. I'm like, guys, you had so many opportunity. So many water lines are running through this place. We have a bath. We have a toilet. What should we do with the third walk? Another bath. Another bath. I can't tell you the last time I bathed. I'm not a bather. I don't bathe. I'll do a hot tub. I'll live in a hot tub. You know, I actually try and take a bath once a month. I think it's good. I come from a household where my mom took a bath every single Saturday. That's so chem-coded. She got the bath going. She did whatever her, like, lotions and potions were. Mm-hmm. She shaved. She must have been going out. That little slut. She must have been going out every Saturday night, now that I think about it, when I was younger. And she would do this before going out? Yeah, she would, like, get ready all day on Saturday. She'd get out of the tub, and then she'd do her hair, and then she'd do her makeup. And I would just be like, what is she doing? But now I, like, don't remember. Why is moms putting on lotion, like, the most comforting memory? I think because that is the. That is the first woman you know. Like, so, like, everything she does, yeah, everything she does is, like, low-key soothing to you. You know, Maria Sharapova, my. Your mom. My mom. No, my literal sister, Maria. She was. A lot of tennis players are perfectionists, and she was saying that having a kid, she has one kid, is the one thing that's helped her with her perfectionism, because she's like, you cannot control. What's going on. Right. You can plan what you want. You can try to make everything go as planned and go right, but the kid is just going to be like, go fuck yourself. Do it. Yeah, do it every once. As a non-mom, when you hear moms be like, it's horrible, but it's perfect, and it's the worst, but it's the best, I think it's the challenges of it that actually help you grow. I'm trying to figure it out. As a non-mom, thank God, I don't have the bandwidth right now. Does anyone. I couldn't think of the worst thing to happen to me than have a baby today. Someone said, they were like, whatever you're going through, just be like, at least I'm not pregnant. And then to all the gigglers that are pregnant listening to this, you're perfect. We love you. Yeah, I'll pour one out for you tonight. I never talked about In Bed With Paige DeSorbo this season. I had my first episode last week, and I had Nikki Hilton on, which actually is a perfect example of. of meeting someone where you're like, what is their vibe going to be? And I. She was so down-to-earth and normal, it actually was shocking to me. I feel like she's purposely been like, I don't want to be in the public eye as much, it's annoying me. She's one of the most normal people ever. I forget, they asked her to do something, and they were like, is it okay if. Do you want someone else to do it? And she was like, no, I can do it. It was just like, I forget what it even was, but she was just very down-to-earth. But this year. It's live. So it's like. The past two seasons, we've recorded it for an hour and a half. So there were times where I could stop, and we could reset, and like. Cut the break. Yeah, cut things out, add things, whatever. Forget people's names. It's a very different vibe this year, and so we're live. But she knows the segments that we're doing, and it's only for 30 minutes, so it's actually not that bad. So whatever, we're chatting, and we start talking about Daphne, and she's like, oh my God, wait, I have a gift for you. And she just says, can someone get my bag? And in my head, I'm like, wait, we're live, and the I know for a fact the Amazon team is like, what do we do? And I'm like, someone get her blue Chanel sparkly bag. We have seven seconds. So they get her bag, and they bring it over, and she's opening it, and she hands me this gift, and I open the gift. Hannah, she has a jewelry line. She made me a ring. She made me a ring with Kitty's face on it. It's like my new favorite ring, and I put it on. She goes, your fingers are so skinny. And I said, thank you so much for noticing. She goes, no, no, really, I'm going to get you one that fits. What is your ring size? I've never even. I go, well, it's a four, but she goes, what? Like, people think I'm lying when I say that, but I'm. So anyway, me and Nikki Hilton have friendship rings with our cats on them. And tune in to In Bed with Paige to Sorbo. My next guest in September. Well, it's up in the air. We'll see what happens. How do you like interviewing live? It's more pressure because I feel like there's more pressure on me to, like, think of something funny after. Because, like, it's boring if you're just watching us talk about bed and you're not laughing. So I feel like I have to, like, add in jokes where when we tape it, sometimes I feel like I can think of a joke for longer. Where when it's live, it's, like, quick. And I'm like, is this episode going to be boring? So it's a little bit nerve wracking. But I talk to myself for 30 minutes live all the time on Amazon. So I know I can be live for 30 minutes. But a lot of people are never, have never live. Like, when else would they be live? Yeah. How many times can I say live? Jesus. Take a shot every time. I feel also, like, sometimes with comedy, when you have a little pressure, you could be funnier because you don't have time. You don't have time to, like, overthink the joke. You just have to, like, get it the first time. After it was over, I was, like, great. And I never have to think about this episode again because it's already out there. Like, I don't have to be, like, what are the teasers? What are we clipping? Like, it's done. I love that. I love that. So that was nice. That is nice. Oh, my God. We've had, we had two, like, crazy weekends. I can't wait to see the Venice footage. And we're going to a fashion show together, like, a cool one next Friday. You guys, we're doing fashion week. We're a day together. Heck, yeah. Friday, we're going to the Wieterhoff show. Wieterhoff. Very excited. I've been a fan. You wore them on Fallon. They're, like, you know, I love, one thing about me, I love a corset. And one thing about you, you love Bridgerton. And that's where we combined. That's where we combined. And that's our Venn diagram. Because I love a little snatch in the waist. But, yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited for a day to be running around New York with you. I love, I love the outfits that really accentuate the female body. I think that's, like, I think that's why we love a corset. You love, like. Showing your curves. Yeah, showing a female body. We love it. Not a golf body. Not a male golf body. Oh, someone DM'd me and they said that they're, that all men's body standard is Mark Wahlberg. I said, wow, that actually is a good one. But he's also 5'7". And it gives them hope. And it's also inspirational. Wait, do you want to hear something funny about men's golf? Always. They're not allowed to wear shorts. They have to wear pants. Because they don't like their knees? Someone said my knees are kind of white and pale. Who was like, okay, we're going to play this sport, but I swear to God, if anyone wears shorts, I'm going to freak the fuck out. Golf has so many made-up, ridiculous loser rules. My brother said that golf stands for, Gentlemen only, ladies forbidden. Is that true? No, but like, good, good, definitely believes that. What does it stand for then? he probably made that up but like it's it's probably a coincidence and then like men ran with it but do you know i was i played tennis with my old men the other week and one of them was like you know i belong to this like fancy tennis club like you should check it out and he said what the club was and the other guy was like are women allowed in that club i felt like i was in um high school tennis again on the boys team where i was like do i have to fucking beat every single one of you like what do you mean do are women is that it's still real like there are really these old school hamptons clubs like i remember i told you my best friend becca she's a lesbian and an incredible athlete and she's the first ever member of her golf club that is a woman it's normally the husband that brings the wife so they didn't know what to do with her i don't know why it just sounded like like she's not a lesbian because she's incredible at being an athlete she's not an athlete because she's a lesbian okay is it the chicken or the egg she's very athletic and happens to also be a lesbian be a lesbian but they're not correlated how dare you um isn't that crazy yeah that's crazy they didn't know how to like submit her application because they were like but who's the man and she was like i'm the man i hate people i really do i'm just like you're stupid that's what i'm saying that's crazy on a lighter note i just had the thought you know i like to just bring up a random thought every now and then and my thought was i thought i was gonna have to keep an eye out more in my life for whoopee cushions really when you're younger they really make it seem like at any time they had a time to sit on a whoopee cushion i haven't seen one whoopee cushion in like a decade well you want to know what ain't shit funny about a prank these days no one's pranking no one's pranking anymore honey i think i think no one's pranking because shit is really it's like it's not funny it's like we're in a haunted house we don't have to like scare people already in the haunted house we don't have to do overtime i also think it was pre-phone like before we didn't have mahjong on our phones we were pulling out a whoopee cushion when you got someone on a whoopee cushion like that was game over like that was the end of the night we were like and that's our closer where'd they come from never once do i have a memory of buying a whoopee cushion they just always appeared at your house like you never got them they were one was just there blowing it up was disgusting it tasted like a condom and everyone would like blow it up and i was like this is how covid originated like started originating at least it could be the cause of your utis i don't even know but everyone's slob knobbing on it like no one's getting punked these days because life is we're we got we got we live in it we live in this show punked and that's just what it is wait pranking was like the silliest cutest thing back then pranking is so fun all i did i feel like was like pranks like i remember one time my grandma was like let you can put saran wrap on the toilet and i was like fuck yeah i'm doing it or like putting a rubber band around like the sink so when you turn it on like the spigot thing like sprays at you like yeah that's innocent fun i'm passionate ashton kutcher punks like i'm not gonna lie i'm an influencer and they were like my cortisol levels can't handle this right now i'm suing i watched this girl make a video i mean so many people have made tiktoks about it but i watched this girl make a video who like i follow and like i've never met her in real life but she truly with her whole chest called herself women like or called herself no needed to use women but use the word woman like okay and there's a lot of women and i'm and i i actually was like i can't because i do dumb shit that's crazy i love how that's where you drew the line you're like i've had enough no the videos of the men not being able to read i'm like ah also with pranks like we never faked a prank our shit was real nowadays it's like let's pretend that i'm surprising you my boyfriend at college i had props there's all these fake couple prank videos and i'm like at one point after the hundredth videos your husband like is this a prank that you're recording couples and pranks different i feel like very different how so like if that's your whole thing i feel like i would start to like get annoyed but it's fun for like some like randomly doing something or like i love like scaring people like i love hiding behind a door like that's old school that is nothing better innocent fun i do it when you get your brother have you ever scared your cat no you gotta do it no you gotta do it if you have a cat at home do yourself a favor call them hide behind something and kitty dies like she literally gets so mad at me i've fallen on the ground laughing because i've scared her so good she literally she's like a human she's like she jumps back and she looks like bitch are you kidding bring some whimsy to your day find a cat and scare it also i'm stressed about halloween's around the corner sorry to bring that up i know what is it what difference does it make for us we're 34 years old when do we stop dressing up i think we stopped also halloween it like then it's like my birthday is right then anytime someone says halloween i think of myself even though it's my mom's birthday on halloween i think of me oh my god you guys are such scorpios i'm like an amazing birthday gift that must have been she was like oh just the best you dressing up and taking photos no me being born oh like it was her birthday and then four days later she had a baby and that is the story of the witch of page the sorbo how she was created the lion the witch and the wardrobe i that is me the lion the witch and the wardrobe i gotta go okay we're gonna we have to stop we're gonna that's what we're gonna end this thing um we love you guys so much thank you for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later bye