Giggling about martinis, sucking, and small talk

What's up my Gilmore Gigglers? Happy 20th anniversary. No, I haven't watched Gilmore Girls, but I can appreciate a woman in the arts. You should have been a ballet flat that's so Gilmore Girls coded. I take a ballet flat on the subway. That's ballsy. And I realized that I need to shave the top of my foot while on the subway in my ballet flat. So subway coded. Question, when you drink a water bottle, do you put your lip in it or do you put your whole mouth over it? Wait, let's see. That's a really important question. This is great for our audio listeners. No, because I recently changed up how I do it. I'm a sucker. Yeah. I'm not, I'm a sucker. Yeah. And I don't mean that in a sexual way at all. It doesn't mean I'm. This is a scientific real life. This is scientific. I like the water to hit my teeth and then I suck it in. Okay. So I used to be, I used to put my lip inside and drink like a normal person. Yeah. But that takes focus. Well, it does. Now I put my whole mouth on it and I squeeze the bottle so that the water just pours into my mouth and I don't have to even suck. It's harder with water bottles. You're literally like that kid who like. Is playing soccer and like just was running around, like didn't even touch the ball and then goes over to the sideline and it's like, I need some water. And there's like, and I like puke. Yeah. One time I was on a softball team for like four weeks and I quit because the outfit was disgusting. But also I hit my own nose on like one of the bars, like, like on the fence. Oh, like I just like hurt myself doing nothing, like not playing in the game, like just like sitting on the bench. Like I hurt myself. And I remember going up. And I remember going up to my mom being like, this is the dumbest thing ever. I'm not doing it anymore. Well, I love your boundaries. Can I just call you out for a second? We're at the Sirius XM building, which is huge. Huge. This is not our particular studio because we're we're getting our vibes. We're like picking out rug colors like we're doing samples this weekend. But this is going to be the vibe. I'm on the Lower East Side and I'm like, I can't be late for the first ever recording. So I decided to take the subway because, look, you can't can't go wrong with the subway. I mean, you can't. Well, OK, I'll be honest. I did walk into the wrong subway. And sometimes it's confusing. It was going downtown. There's nothing. That's just part of my process with the subway. When you're on one side and you're like, I got to be on the other side. Also, I'm like, why don't we say uptown or downtown? Why do I have to guess? But I digress. This is niche New York problems. But I get here and Grace and I first I'm like, I love being before Paige. Like, it's my favorite thing. Yeah. Because it's once in a blue moon. Who came up with that? Blue. What's anyway? A blue moon is right. You with your turtleneck saying you don't know the pieces of the moon. I got to talk to you about. You want to talk about Nimbus clouds? Yeah, I can. So why am I sitting like I'm a different person now? I'm serious because you're you're serious and you're wearing a turtleneck and you look like you're judging me. I'm wearing a Daphne turtleneck because they're so freaking comfy. Plug it. And then I just I have my little French shoes on. So you like your outfit. You're happy to be here. I love my outfit. I'm happy to be here. And so we're waiting outside and I'm like, I can't wait to rub it in her little face that I've been waiting for her. I love I love doing a little snarky comment when she comes like, oh, look who decided to show up. Look who decided to roll in. So you're not answering. And it looks I have your location now. And like, it looks like you're like around us and you're just not answering circling waiting 10 minutes. Yeah. Finally, she just responds with a text message in the elevator. How did you break into this highly secure building? Because we were waiting with the SiriusXM people who were like, there's a process. You have to check in all this stuff. I go somehow pages already there. Do you know that this is the building that they filmed Devil Wears Prado and Miranda Priestly walks into the elevator and everyone gets out. So when I walk into this building, there's other things in this building, too. When I walk into this building, I go Miranda mode. I know exactly what to do. I don't respond to my friends. I have my ID ready. I go through. Well, also, we're new employees. So I met other employees of Sirius on the sales team. So I'm chatting with them. We're getting in the same elevator. I'm cosplaying. Wait, you love the first day of school. That's what I feel like. I came up with this outfit right before. How long have you had this plan? Last night when I went to bed, I was thinking about it. Like, what am I going to wear to see? And it's getting chilly. It's truly fall in New York. And guys, we. We partied last night. No, we partied. Also, wait. Before we get into last night. Yeah. When I was on my way here, it was such a good omen. Also, it's, like, morning time. It's, like, early right now. It's 930, but whatever. It's about to be 10 in any second. You know how, like, sometimes, like, when it's, like, a busy street or, like, especially during rush hour traffic, there will be just cops, like, parked and, like, traffic cops would also, like, other cops, whatever. I'm, like, a bunch of cops. I'm a bunch of cops. And I know that there's, like, congestion up there, but I can't see what it is. I love when you say congestion. Congestion. And the cop comes over his radio. Like, he's in his car, but he's trying to, like, get people to go the way, whatever. I don't know. Whatever. He's in his car, and he just goes, way to fuck it up for everyone. Good job. And in my heart, I'm, like. Thank you. I love this goddamn place. I love the city. I love all these people. Thank you. Somebody said it. Like, one cop in the South needs to say that, and I think they'd find unity down there. I think one person needs to be real past the Mason-Dixon. That's, like, on the subway when they're, like, if someone else puts their hand in the closing door, I'm gonna freak the fuck out, and everyone's, like, hallelujah. Thank you. There's nothing better than when collectively you're annoyed by someone, and someone volunteers as tribute to tell that person. Like, everyone here hates you. That's my favorite story when, it's not my favorite story of all time, but, you know, you ever, like, someone starts doing construction at, like, midnight, and you're, like, that's definitely illegal? Well, New York City, I don't think it is in New York City. They, like, do it. There's some weird-ass rules. I just know that someone was, like, drilling at, like, midnight, and you just had to wait, like, 10 seconds, and someone was, like, shut the fuck up. I'm, like, thank you. Like, that's how we help people. No, it's community. Like, someone has to curse someone out. It is community. It really is. And you feel like they care about your sanity, their sanity. There's nothing more unified than hating the same person. Ugh. And when it's a person causing strife between everyone, it's just, it's, it's a commonality. Shout out New York City. Love letter to the city in the fall. I'm obsessed. Okay, let's talk about last night, because it was such a journey. It was a journey. So, next week, shit's going down. And it's actually. Like, there's, like, announcements and stuff. Oh, yeah. And it actually annoys me, because I'm really bad at lying and keeping secrets. Yeah. So, this whole podcast, I don't know what to talk about, because I'm just, like, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, but then it's all you can think about. I haven't thought about it once. Well, you have other stuff going on, I think. But I'm just really excited for next week, so just letting you guys know this, we're going to surprise you with some stuff. But last night was the serious upfronts. How would you describe an upfront for someone who's not familiar? Because I wasn't. An upfront is basically, like, I think of it in terms of TV. Every TV network has an upfront, and it's basically, like, every advertiser that pays for ads on that network goes to the upfronts to see if they want to give money to that network again. And it's very formal, and it's, like, 600 executives, long time, and everyone just introducing themselves. It's very corporate. It's, like, three hours. So, they were, like, you guys can do whatever you want for four minutes, and I said, that's actually my plan. That's a prime amount of time. I'm good in small doses. That is my small dose perfection. So, Paige and I made a fake PowerPoint. It was a very real PowerPoint. It was. We did a great job. We did a phenomenal job. I put my hands in, like, a triangle, like they do on Shark Tank. I joined the Illuminati after. You tried to sell them the new iPhone. I said, she flips, but hamburger style. They go, hey, you're supposed to introduce Giggly Squad, and you just talked about a fake. iPhone flip phone the whole time. I think Apple was there. You know? They were, like, we don't claim her. So, that was actually so fun. Also, we loved our outfits. We loved our outfits. And one person that we saw, it's also, like, it's funny because you don't know people, but you're all at the same event. So, it's, like, hey, like, I know you. And one of those people was Conan O'Brien, who I'm 10 toes down for. So, Conan O'Brien can miss. He's awesome. Can't miss out. He's, like, 6'10". Yeah. Red-haired. But we walk into the room, and, like, my immediate thing is, like, I don't want to bother Conan. Yeah, I'm not bothering him. Conan's busy. Yeah, I respect him. You know, he, like, wrote on The Simpsons. Yeah, like, I'm not. Like, he's been doing comedy from day one. I'm not annoying him with my bullshit. No. You know? Like, I don't want to ruin his vibe with my vibe. But he sees us. He scurries up to us and immediately just starts doing bits. Yeah. We start yes-anding with Conan. Yeah. We're riffing. We're riffing. Having so much fun. - Once I bring up YouTube, your outfit to you just know i like you like if i don't like you i'm not bringing up so she complimented his um leather jacket leather jacket and then he had a whole bit about it about it and you love a bit about clothes you're like this is my kind of comedy yeah and i remember like someone had to take us to like meet someone else and they were like we're so sorry we put you pulled we pulled you away from conan i remember being like that was it was literally about to we were running on material we were running out of things to talk about that is the worst feeling when you're at an event you're like okay well i can't walk away no like what do you say you have to pray that it naturally like he gets spun around because someone else is trying to talk to him or like someone comes up to you it's a very it's a dance we had it it's a tango it's a tango we were pulled away thank god at our at our we were pulled away thank god at our at our height like we had good momentum with him and then we were with our parents no a tear could come from my eye my dad woke up this morning and he goes i just want to let you know i i don't have fun that much and that was so much fun i had a great time we sat i'm not a big fan of fun i don't do fun very often yeah because his natural like response to truly anything i say is who gives a shit you know so that's like his default response when you're talking to my dad it's like who gives a shit which is so nice to have around because you're getting your head and then to have gary just be like who gives a flying fuck yeah like he doesn't know about things because he's at work yes you know like he's working yes we got to the table for dinner and we sat no one spoke on where we were who was sitting where and we sat perfectly me and you sat across from each other our mom sat across from each other and we weren't sitting next to our dads because i'm gonna know about you when i sit directly next to my dad we wreak havoc he's like poking me we're like we need my mom in between us i'm always to my mom's left like i must yeah like i'm not sitting no i'm sitting next to my mom if you're sitting next to your dad like you're not who's protecting you like that's chaos but you we get to this restaurant in midtown and sirius xm stuff was downtown we were being being really fancy last night and the moment we got to the restaurant we were like oh my god we're gonna be like oh my god i knew we were being really fancy last night was right when we walked in and i saw heather dubrow i go yeah we're fancy like that that couldn't have made me feel better this is the new york city name drop episode but like it was new york is such a small place place also it was a tuesday night like heather dubrow just like popping in there well heather dubrow by the way there's something about meeting a bravo liberty i can't explain it it's like you've been through nom yes and you see them like later in their life just at a supermarket and you're like do you remember nom and she's like i've been there but she goes i just shot my reunion and we were like you've been shot are you how are you walking right now you want to know why i love her so much earlier in that night remember i looked at you and i was like why was i worried about my outfit everyone else should have been more worried about their outfits this is a corporate event so this is a corporate event she goes did no one get dressed for this no one read the entire memo she goes i'm wearing yves saint laurent and so then when we saw heather dubrow we were talking about something for outfits and she goes do you want to see what everyone wore and i go yeah and then in my head i said to her i go why would you ever worry about your outfit and she goes oh i don't but it's funny because we walk in this corporate event and i'm stressed about like the powerpoint working and the clicker and like making sure that whatever and paige is like oh i my shoes are cutting off my circulation no but you were like my outfits so good compared to the rest of the scene um so we meet heather dubrow she was so sweet so oh i love so sweet she goes back to her family and we were also sat in a craze while we're waiting for our table sat like right where the door is so i felt like the host of the restaurant like people were coming in and we were like hey welcome to the restaurant thank you so much for making a reservation tonight you need water or drink they'll help you in the front actual general manager was like stop you're at a party and yeah you just turn into the host even though you're not the host but you're like know how to help out and you're like bathroom is here people everyone has one friend that pretended to be the bouncer at a club and was looking at people's ids yeah i think it's like the password um so that was me last night at this fancy event so then we look up kona brian walks in yeah who we had just had a bit with we just had a bit with so now i'm realizing this man we randomly picked the same restaurant in all of new york city yeah and then he walks in and we're like oh and the bit is back baby i knew i knew that was the place to go after that event i mean you're just so tasteful and cool i felt really tasteful and that's why i have you in my phone so we're sitting at our table we're still doing bits with kona brian then we're like we can't see his table from our table but me yeah but then i panicked because i was like it's a good idea in theory it's like when you get someone a gift but then it's not the right gift and then you look worse right so i was like what a fancy like cool people and we were like well we'll just send them a round of drinks but then we were like it's 2026 not everyone drinks and you don't want to be what if someone's so rude because that happens because like des is sober and i can't tell you the amount of times people come to our table and get us a huge drink and des and i are like oh so i said oh pigs in a blanket on the menu perfect nobody hates nobody's against pigs in a blanket nobody sees a pig in a blanket and doesn't go yeah oh pig in a blanket in a blanket that's hilarious sent him pigs in a blanket to his table because he wasn't giving vegan he doesn't give vegetarian he doesn't get vegetarian even though he's from la and then he sent back the waitress came over and said conan would like to pay for your guys dessert which we love yeah we do we love and then he came and then he came over to say goodbye to us it was just so kind so like we take back all the things we said about men in comedy um some of you guys are doing good of a certain age of a certain age yeah once they get a little tired and their testosterone slows down a bit i love them oh i'm like let's kiki obsessed with our king there's nothing i love more than a tired man oh yeah because he's already won like the mark twain award like he's already done it all mark twain yeah at 9 30 a.m gone to my head someone said what's the mark twain or twain award i have no idea it's like a it's a it's a niche like comedy award like a writing award um it's the kind of the war that you hear and you go i don't know what it's for but it sounds like wow that's impressive yeah mark mark twain walt whitman like that's the kind of shit like we've never been in those conversations before the picasso the picasso the michelangelo wait can we talk about dancing with the stars the one night that we are running around the city and i have hayley texting me updates just because like it's the first one i didn't watch i knew that was a fuck-ass show let me page the voting system is not rigged i don't know if it's rigged even though it is weird that they're like we're not gonna tell you the algorithm or how we did it yeah and we're not gonna tell you who's actually the winner we're not gonna tell you who's actually in the bottom three the problem with it is there's too many variables everyone does a different dance so it's like you're not even rated on the same dances everyone has a different um pro who all has different levels of popularity and everyone hates women and everyone hates women so we're fighting that i don't watch the other dancers so i'm completely um by it you don't know anyone else but just by the looks i know my girl was better than who was in the bottom with her and people are very upset because because okay every season there's a guillermo type like andy richter was the previous one it's basically like an older man that like that gets infantilized yes and everyone's like he can walk like this is amazing and they're very funny these guys they are funny but at the end of the day sarah's improving every week which is what you should be judged for so the fact that guillermo's still in it people are very upset but you guys have to understand this is a dancing with the stars thing that happens every year that that like funny guy makes it farther than what you should be and i love when life imitates art no truly no truly because then what's the point of the show but then um giada de lorantes de lorantes who got shouldn't she get voted off she got voted off for first or second whatever and she's older than guillermo but everyone's like we're not a fucking dance giada yeah everyone's like what the fuck was that pirouette yeah and but so guillermo's ticket is not good at dancing no i mean he's trying his best but like like at this point in the competition he should be further along is way more intense i'm not saying guillermo like guillermo is getting better yeah but it's just like not at the rate sierra was getting better what i've learned from dancing with the stars is that when you're like in the middle which is where sierra was people will vote for people who they think are at the bottom more so there could have been a lot of people that just assumed sierra was safe because like she wasn't - Okay, and you want to know what? If I'm a producer, I'm a producer. on that show i'm like hey maybe we keep the really hot girl no truly like i don't know maybe this is what the fans want to see a gorgina girl with a space bun and a diamond part like yeah i'm keeping her on the show she's giving outfits she's giving like she's giving costumes but she's giving personality she's giving lore she's giving she's giving background story yes she was a wizard last night like hello but in my heart of hearts she we're so fucking proud of her like regardless of what she did where she ends up for a second what third whatever it's like she did fucking amazing yeah and she was only getting better but now i hope she does go on bed rest no i know my girl is sleepy people don't realize i think since the shit went down i don't think she's had a minute had a day off no she hasn't she was in fiji babe and you know fiji is not not for the week or low heart rate i feel like she went from fiji right to the studio she went from fiji to the hamptons oh my god yeah no no she needs a rest she needs a rest she needs like a cat sanctuary week yeah can i say something that um i've thought about intensely for the past hour yeah i think you should get bangs like a daisy edgar jones bang is it because i have a big round forehead no no no do you have a big round forehead or no to bangs because no no to i don't think that you have a big you know i didn't know i had a big round forehead you know who told me your mom my nana my mom told me this one time i love how round your forehead is it's so beautifully round and i was like i'm gonna off myself do you know when you look in the mirror you don't know the shape of your forehead so i turned my forehead i said oh that's almost like the time that someone broke up with you on like christmas eve and your nana looked at you and goes he doesn't have a job why are you upset jobless hey here eat something you just brought up the most painful time in my life she goes do you remember do you do you remember one time i had bangs and then i grew them out and i was like oh i don't know if i should like re-cut bangs and my mom goes well i don't know who told you you can't have bangs you have that disorbo forehead i go i go mom i'm seven what does the sorbo forehead mean i don't know i was too distraught to ask not to brag but i have my cowlick and it's hard enough for me to like get this to look straight just having like a middle part so i feel like bangs could be chaotic i mean look let's let's show the youtube i just i think it's gorgeous i think it's stunning i think it's not a bang like a straight like new girl what's her name zoe de chanel bang it's a daisy edgar joan half a curtain bang i love how you made her singular daisy edgar joan it's it's almost like here there's no bang on the side there's bang i don't like being cute okay when people see me they think they think vixen they think sex got it you know i don't like bangs it's like no that's not true that's not true look at dakota johnson i feel like she gives sex symbol you're so right about that but she almost needs the bangs because she's so sexy it makes her like a little relatable be able to get cast in comedy you're so fucking right i don't know i think you're saying i'll be cast in a comedy i just think you should think about it your hair also does it grow fast yeah bangs are gone in two months what about just like a face framing layer that's short at first like a face framing layer that starts at my temple is that a bang that's a curtain bang i love how fast you can say face framing what was it framing layer face framing layer because i took my invisalign out i'm fucking crazy right now actually i feel like i'm having a stroke face framing layer okay got it do you first take your invisalign out and you forget how your teeth or tongue works also don't you feel like when you first take your retainer out you're like i miss america no i'm like look at this i'm like no one's teeth have ever been straighter i'm like is this too shiny am i like reflecting too hard can we talk about like how kim tried to roofie my dad no our parents were drunk last night my dad goes you know i've never had a martini before kim de sorbo goes well we're about to have a fun night and she's like but she wasn't even she was just like i like it extra dirty my mom had two dirty martinis i had two dirty martinis i had two dirty martinis last night i'd be on the floor and then my dad low-key was like making fun of me he goes oh what are you gonna get another diet coke what's funny is you guys we got fully bullied by our parents because page and i weren't didn't drink which is funny we're just not drinkers right now right i had to wake up early like yeah i was like sorry you're tired you fucking party animals like we but at one point at 10 30 me and you look at each other and we had the best night but you know when you start hitting the wall let's wrap these people up and i'm like oh my god i'm so tired i was like we gotta get these people home i was like do you want to just call an uber no one more drink and they would have kicked us out well you're my dad my dad doesn't drink like he drinks like like he also doesn't know about drinking so like he'll he'll drink a mai tai like he doesn't know what's going on um so then he's like okay well kim can drink it i can drink it kim can drink kim's a tank a tank i she can drink didn't flinch she didn't flinch kim got more sober she got more intellectual she was she was like she can drink way more than my dad my dad it i know when my dad is on his second drink kim could be on her fifth i have no idea i'm obsessed yeah it's crazy and she's a small lady i don't know why how she has that tolerance my dad's stuffing shrimp in his face my dad is chugging martinis also let me just say my dad has gout the number one rule of gout is do not eat shrimp the only rule so then i'm watching i'm like this could be the last night i have with my father at one point goes and i'm not in charge of what you eat anymore she was having a liberating experience yeah she was like if he goes he goes if he dies he dies charge anymore but also the thing shout out to my dad like you live one life yolo if he's if you're gonna go do it eating a shrimp cocktail totally but i love how the doctor was like one rule just try not to eat shrimp cocktail no seafood no alcohol and he was like no he goes i'll get another round it's almost like that's his way of being naughty of rebelling yeah like that's that was us our craziest night out you and my dad had fun i didn't tell you what he said to me when he first walked in what did he do when he first walked in when we were at the event like into our green room he said i was really excited to see you today because like i feel like we're and i go we're friends and he goes yeah we are right like we're i go yeah that's my buddy and i couldn't tell you in that moment because you were like talking to people and then we were like about to go do something whatever but i was like that is so sweet he's just the most earnest but the thing is really you want to know what he is he's such a guy he's such a boy but i do have to say my dad is me yes so that's why like i've all well you guys my humor you guys one-on-one at one point you guys are going back and forth dying laughing cracking each other up and it made me really happy it was very sweet and then you loved my mom's outfits you were really happy no i just think she's not my mom putting on a scarf because she had a little cleavage that she wanted to cover i think she is like i want to you know when you get cute aggression and you want to squeeze your cat's head i want to do that to your mom's head sometimes i'm like oh you're just so cute we're walking around with bobs and they're so little and i was like those are fake moms like those are ai these are a i mom also everyone was complimenting my mom's outfit and so like when she got home she was like we my outfit and i was like oh no you're so cute we're the same person first time on this planet too stop that'll make me cry because my mom didn't tell me what she was wearing because she wanted me to be surprised she's like you're gonna love my dress i don't want to show it to you till and i'm like this is the cutest thing i've ever heard asking what she so you making fun of your dad's like one-liners yeah tell us the hit that my dad was like obsessed with me and my brother talk on the phone i would say probably like maybe like twice a week once a year like twice a week he'll call me like if he's in his car like driving somewhere whatever but then we're also in like a group chat like me him joe his fiance and so like and that's always going off we'll send a picture or like whatever but sometimes if i'm on the phone with my brother we won't say anything about our own lives we'll just say phrases that my dad says and so we'll just say it back to each other and that's our conversation and so my dad has a few like key phrases that he'll say and our favorite one at the moment right now is let me tell you because you don't know no let me tell you so you know let me tell you let me tell you so you know one time he we were like asking him directions for something and and we were like no i think that's wrong like Like, I think it's actually, he goes, you think that's wrong? Let me tell you something. I forgot more than you'll ever even know. And, like, in that moment, no, he's just so, like, he has such his euphemisms that he says. Like, all while I was in college and it was, like, the summertime and I was, like, doing nothing or, like, in high school during the summer, he would call me. I was basically his assistant. Like, I would go run errands for him and he'd start the phone call out every time the same and he'd be, like, since I know you're not doing nothing, why don't you do something for me? And he'd say it so quick. Like, and I'd be, like, yeah, okay. He's, like, all right, you got to go to the bank, then shoot by the pool place. The guy knows me. And everyone knows him. So, like, they know he's sending me as his representative. They're, like, go in there. You're going to ask for Mary. She's going to come out from the back. She's going to give you what you need. Like, make sure there's five rubber bands. Like, I don't know what to say. Like, it was so, like, niche errands that I was running for this man. He's, like, okay, there's a guy named Jim. He's got a bag. You grab that bag. Like, then I'm not going downstairs. He's, like, there's going to be a body. You're going to roll it up in the carpet. No, no, they know you're coming. They know you're my daughter. You're fine. One time we were leaving New York. There's going to be cash. Just tons of cash. When I was younger and my mom would, like, my mom and dad would bring me down to, like, New York City for, like, different modeling stuff. Like, my mom always came. Like, I was never, like, doing anything. Would you say? Well, a situation where we're different. Like, you and your dad did things on your own with tennis. Me and my dad were never, like, by ourselves. Like, if we were by ourselves, we'd be, like, we'd be, like, so how was your day? Like, my mom was always there. So, like, in the few times that my mom couldn't come to New York City when it's just me and my dad. He's, like, so how are you? What's your name again? He'd be, like, you don't have a middle name. I'd be, like, yes, I do. I have a middle name. He's, like, I really would. What is it? Shit like that. Wait, small talk with your dad is, like, oh, my God. I'm, like, so nice to meet you. So, like, one time we were leaving New York City. And when you get off the George Washington Bridge to go upstate New York, it's called, like, that highway is called, like, the Palisades. And so he said to me one time, he goes, I just got to make a quick stop on the Palisades at a rest stop and meet a guy. And I thought he was joking. I was, like, okay. Because he would just say, like, random things. Like, any time we would pass, like, an outhouse. Like, a port-a-potty. He'd be, like, you got to pee. Like, he would just say things. Yeah. Like, cemetery. People are dying to get in there. Right. And so he pulled off to the side of the road. And some guy put, like, a brown bag in her. You're so Italian right now. And I go, what was that? And he was, like, that was a guy who was getting me a couple parts. I was, like, parts for what? He goes, ah. He's, like, just some organs and lungs. We're going to traffic. Like, my dad's main word is ah. Ah. Ah. And Des does a good impression of him. No, Des has met my dad, what, three times. And his impression of him is so spot on. But it's funny because he's just one of those people that. He's an earnest guy. He's just. He goes, what, what? Yeah, that's what I think. Like, he's just. Also, at one point, so me and your dad are diagonal. And my dad and you were diagonal. And then me and Gary, something happened. And he, like, rolled his eyes. And then I rolled my eyes. And then he thought it was funny that I was. And he rolled his eyes again. And then, like, how long are we going to do this little, like, not talk. Like, joking joke. And then whenever I looked at him, he was, like, rolled his eyes again. We were, like, there was chemistry at that table. No, we could have all vacationed together. We've. They definitely passed the test for, like, time spent. Yes. Together. No, it's really been a nice feeling. Well, it was a celebration. And I'd have to shout out Desmond. He basically was, like, you need to celebrate things in your life when they go well. Because you assume that things are just always going to. And then one day you're, like, fuck, I didn't celebrate. We're not good at, like, patting ourselves on the back. Never. But also it's, like, celebrate the little things, too. I think it's also, like, being a woman. Because, no, truly, like, men can get. I've watched. I've seen men get celebrated for, like, wiping their own ass. Like, men love getting praise for, like, I didn't cheat on you. Like, yeah, because you're not supposed to. Like, we're women. We don't get torn down for every little thing. Even if they're, like, unproblematic. It's, like, okay, but she. Like, she's wearing red shoes. Like, that's disgusting. It's the same thing with, like, salaries. Like, men, when they get, like, a job offer, everyone's, like, yeah. But I feel like when a woman gets a job offer, people are, like, well, she's a caretaker. Like, does she need money? Yeah. Like, does she need that job? And it's, like, why doesn't she deserve it? Right. So I think it's hard for us to, like, pat ourselves on the back. Because. So much of our career, we've been around men who are, like, you're not shit, actually. So I think that's hard for us. But we're getting better at celebrating things. We're getting. But it's a conscious decision to be, like, I know this is awkward. I know this is weird. I know this isn't part of our, like, workaholic mindset. But let's stop and just, like, appreciate. And take a breath. Doing it with little things in life. Like, you have a good presentation at work. Yes. Let's go to dinner. Let's go to dinner and, like, pat ourselves on the fucking back. I love that. Or you have a bad presentation at work. Hell yeah. Let's go. No one remembers. No one cares. Also, like, maybe it was campy. You know? It was ironic. Yeah. I wanted to just bring up, too, yesterday when we were at this corporate event. I love when I go to a bathroom and it's an automatic water faucet and it doesn't work. Because I never feel more dainty. I'm like, oh, I'm so little. I'm so little that it's not even, it doesn't even know my hands are here. I pooped at the event. You're turning into me. I know. Every day. Every day I see myself in you. I went into the bathroom with Josephine and I go, Josephine, I think I'm going to go to the bathroom. She goes, yeah, that's why we're in here. She goes, it is in fact a bathroom for that. I do feel like if you're about to do a presentation of some kind, the 20 minutes beforehand in the bathroom, that's not you. No. You're allowed to disconnect from yourself and be like, anything that I do in these next 20 minutes is. Even though we were on stage for like truly a minute, 30 seconds, it's, I think I was nervous because I'm like, not my demo. Like, do you know, like these are corporate people. These are like real adults. So I was like, I'm nervous because what if they don't get me? Yeah. You're like, if I walk in and there's no girls being like, we love Giggly Squad. What do I do? And then I'm uncomfortable. Also, earlier that day we showed up and we were going to do something. And. I was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And you literally looked at me. You're like, Hannah, can we do this right now? Can you hold it? I mean, I had full fledged diarrhea. I know. I didn't. I thought you literally just had to pee. Well, I say I have to pee because I was being polite. Yeah. And there was like 17 people in the elevator. But like, you know, but this is one thing about me. Once you shot me the look of like, no, I can't hold it. But my diarrhea is quick. You're quick. Explosive. Quick. You're in, you're out. I'm. Girl was like, I've never seen a faster pee. And I go, I know. Yeah. And then I was. Well, I'm sitting there. I'm contemplating. I'm like. Do I have stomach cancer? Like, is something deeper happening? Like, did I lose an ovary? Remember that time I thought I lost my ovary in the toilet? Yes. Remember that time? I was at my old, old. You were at plump. I don't even. I was like, this is like my great, great, great ex. And I called you. Remember I was sitting on the toilet and I was like, I thought I was like, something was coming out. No, that was traumatizing. He almost called an ambulance because I was like, I'm having an abortion on the floor and I didn't like, I don't know what's going on. They're like, you're just having your period. No, it wasn't. It was like I was passing like a, it felt like I was passing a. Kidney stone. Yes. Who knows? Who knows? And we'll never know. Who knows? That guy really threw my pH off. I'll tell you that. Also, there was a video of like us walking off the stage and a giggler DM me. It was like, why do you look so much taller than Paige? Do we want to just. Because you are taller than me. Let's just explain our heights. People get really annoyed by my height specifically. Why? Well, because I think when you meet me in person, I'm not the height you expected me to be. Because you have long legs. So on Instagram, you do look. 5'11". And people get annoyed sometimes when I wear outfits because they're like, she's too short to wear that outfit or she. Yeah. So like my height is not. I'm only 5'3". I tell people you're 5'4". Because I love you. And you are. Some days I do feel as though I am 5'4". Sometimes I stretch. And I'm like, yeah, I'm 5'4". But so in a heel, I'm really only like 5'7", 5'8". 5'7", 5'8". So I'm 5'7". And. They put me in a crazy heel yesterday. Yeah. They put me in one of those high heels that like your ankle is sprained to just be in it. Totally. It's just in a sprained position the whole time. How the fuck. Like they just crack the ankle. It's broken. And they go perfect. I have a high arch. Okay, humble brag. I'm saying. So like I feel like people are like, oh, how do you wear heels so much? It's actually sometimes comfortable for me. When you were walking, I was trying to imitate your heel toe. And it wasn't working. But. This is my problem is I'm at a corporate event. We have a four minute presentation. And I'm acting like I've been out partying. dancing for six hours i'm i took my heels off they're on the floor grace is like trying to find them because i like flung them somewhere i'm fully barefoot and everyone that was crazy i picked up your shoes that was crazy i was like we're not at the eighth grade dance after but i become like a toddler i'm like off off off off a beat off wait that's why i love my fake heel ballet flats yeah those are cute the problem though is because i have nubby legs like i do look good in a little heel yeah it helps who was i with oh yeah my little cousin yesterday i put on little flats and she was like maybe a heel i taught lois the color chartreuse and she was into it lois was listening i said do you want to see my shoes she said yeah yesterday she was like too busy to talk to me because she was dealing with her um like new disney princess stickers but when page answered the phone and lois's eyes were close like she had it close up and paige was like i could only see her eyes yeah it was half her face she was like yeah let's see what you got princess page and then i showed her my shoes and i was like this is a pointy ysl heel now this color may look green to you lois but it's actually chartreuse and in a couple years we'll learn how to spell that and she was very like she was taking it in she was taking it in she was drinking up the knowledge she knew that this is something important i'm very interested to see if like in a couple weeks or something she's like i like green actually i think she will fully be like i like chartreuse i hope she does genie told us that lois refused to go to school with pants under her dress because it wasn't matching and genie's like you're gonna get pneumonia it's like 40 degrees outside and she was like my vision wasn't a tunic for today a tuning with leggings that wasn't the vibe i'm putting out for a wednesday morning at preschool she literally was like i'll drop out of school right now if you make me do this she's like there's nothing wrong with showing a little leg mom try it how do you think you got pregnant i love i love talking to true children like they're adults like i kept telling lois that like she was late for her job yeah i'm like you have to go to work they're gonna be wondering where you are she's like i don't work yeah i was like lois you should be in school right now and she's like no i'm not no apparently you're supposed to talk to kids like adults because if you're always like hello baby wavy like they don't learn fuck that so i was like lois have you dealt with the existential crisis that is your existence this morning and she's like yeah she's like why do you why is your outfit gross people talk to children more like they're adults than grown men and now she said it wait last night when we were at dinner like our dads were like talking about it and she was like no i don't want to talk to you about our accomplishment it was like they were really just like praising us and then our moms started talking about their sons and our dads looked at us and we're like you're only on top for a little while because then the two kings of the family come it is funny to listen to moms talk about their sons sometimes well especially italian moms yeah yeah because they love us they do but it's a different kind of love you know my mom literally was like so excited about all the stuff we're doing and she's like but daniel called me last night because you want to know what because they're women and we're women so they're just like yeah i know you're gonna have it together and you're gonna do what i would have would do but it's the same thing with dads like my mom will be there for me every second of the day and then my dad will send me one text message like hey proud of you and i'm like yeah yeah no we're the problem for sure i changed that i did we should be meaner to our dads we should be meaner to our dads we should hold our dads accountable nick kroll has the the funniest stand-up joke why are your parents why about the moms yeah and how he's like my mom calls me and i'm like you're immediately in a bad mood you're like what do you want what do you need what he's like i turned to the worst version of myself and she's like i'm worried that like you might get sick if you don't it's like mom stop it's so fucking annoying and then you're like dad can you come to my my my play and he's like no i'm busy and i love you dad no it really is so true it's so but that's like our society the bare minimum and we just want to raise awareness about that there was also a really good tiktok which is like something we've been saying for a while but just that every mom runs the home like there's no man that is like in charge of his household so it's ironic that like they think women shouldn't be running the country me and my mom came across a family where the dad did run the household and i and like all the kids were like we'll we'll ask her like dad what do you think so me and my mom looked at each other he's not straight and we were like ask to ask your dad no that's she and then that's a lavender marriage we weren't done with it in the moment to the point that like we had a full phone call about it after she was like can you believe they listened to their dad i go no that was crazy we like started laughing my dad's in the back call child services i'm like who the hell would listen i do have to say because i met des later in life and he's like had to be independent yeah he is really capable i feel like when you meet a guy who went from like his mom to you it's like really fucking annoying no they're capable they just pretend they aren't a lot of things that he does for the family by the family i mean me doesn't butter so like he holds his own yeah but like one time like if a man ever asks me to do something where i'm like you're like manipulating like you want me to do that so you don't have to it's not that like you don't know how to do that or whatever my response has always been totally but like would you do the 30 years that you didn't haven't known me like then how'd you do it like how'd you accomplish it and then they like would give their answer or whatever and i'm like okay so then do that see i'm psychotic where like if a guy was like can you do my laundry i'm immediately like this is not ruining my life like yeah i'm like i didn't have to do it now i do and i don't think whatever i don't think you're funny enough hot enough smart enough to make it worth me doing your laundry i'm not trying to brag i'm fully married been with des for i don't know six years now i've never done his laundry i've never even put away his clothes but if you're doing your own laundry you don't just grab his he does my laundry wow you figured it out and he does it because no i've done it like i mean you've thrown in a load i've thrown it a load you've unfolded it i've i've manipulated him to be like oh you're doing laundry can you just throw my stuff in too because he's he likes laundry well the only reason i give cleaning a pass is because i genuinely enjoy cleaning you enjoy yeah it's like but it's like i pack i don't give a fuck what he's packed i haven't packed why am i helping you but i haven't packed yeah i'm like well i know how to roll things better now i don't need him for anything and he doesn't need me for anything so it kind of works don't like i've never asked him for help either like what's the last time i asked for help yeah imagine do you i've asked for i've asked for a connection hey can you intro me to this person or hey can you throw me on an email with it that's so corporate though like in my she goes i put him on an email and cc'd him like but something personal don't touch me des helps with a lot of logistics that he knows i will get stressed out about like remember the time you canceled all des's flights i think about that often that was like early in our relationship yeah you almost got divorced but also i'm like thank god he saw that side of me early on he knew what i was capable of and he still decided to marry me that was i would have like international flights that took him like forever to like set up the points and like the delta yeah whatever i just was like delete oh back there's no back no you're an inspiration to women that des does your laundry it's not like organized like he's not always doing it yeah but like yeah i don't i'm not what like i wasn't no i just like i feel like i'm so meticulous you don't look at me and think laundry doer also if i do do your laundry i'm gonna forget it one and then it's gonna start smelling one chore around the house that you rather die than do besides all of them like what's the one chore that you're like this one i really hate like emptying the dishwasher like this one i really hate like emptying the dishwasher vacuuming like i've never vacuumed since knowing des but you know it's crazy i go to the i go to the cat when i volunteer at the cat shelter i'm doing laundry i'm vacuuming i'm doing dishes like i'm doing everything at the cat shelter come back to my house and i'm like so des is cleaning your whole apartment no no no we have someone that comes like every two weeks okay but in those two weeks who's putting stuff in the dishwasher does she's like do i have a dishwasher i go wait a second he actually has been that is not no that's not the norm i think that's important to talk about my man that at your household you're not in charge of any household duties no i'm busy working yeah and he's busy working too which is why it's really not even like a talked about thing almost it's you're very equal in terms of like it's very there's dishes in the sink yeah put them in the dishwasher and occasionally we'll have a moment where he'll be like hey it's like a mess over there and i'll be like well it's a mess over there and he's like to you and then we move on. And occasionally there'll be like a Sunday where he's like we should probably clean and I'm like okay and then we both for like 10 minutes like throw stuff out I think I was dating Joe for two weeks and I was like I could reorganize your closet if you were interested in that there's something that dies inside me like if his shirt's on the floor there's like a part of me that's like if I pick this up and put it away that's putting women back like it's empowering like I told you guys I love when I order food like there'll be like tons of people over I'll order the food pay for it make sure everyone's happy I'm not cleaning up yeah would the man who paid for it clean up after right so true I do have to say I do take out the trash well triggering triggering I've learned I've learned my lessons and I do take out the trash I think the reason I cleaned so much I think is like a secret competition in my own brain that if at any time someone came over popped over they'd be like wow this is her like every day this is how she lives like this is what I say and it's like who is that who is that made-up person that's coming over first of all you have eight deadlocks no one's coming over even if they knocked I'd pretend I'm not home what I like to tell people because I have had some of those situations happen yeah I say look I'm a creative hey look I'm just living look I'm just like one of those crazy creative geniuses then when my space don't know how to put my clothes away and people come over I'm like oh my god but I prepare for this like yeah and this is the day someone's popping over when it's a mess but I do think that I've had roommates that like like I will step up where I have to like Dave's husband was like you can't leave your oatmeal bowl and I was like totally I won't like I did enough to not be able to leave your oatmeal bowl and I was like totally I won't like I did enough to like Dave never get mad at me yeah but like every now and then was Dave like where's all of our glasses and I'm like hold on one second I think that's my fault and then I come out with like 47 glasses in my room but I do bring good vibes and energy and overall I have a kindness to me you do where like he knew it wasn't out of any malice or spite it's like do you want to laugh or do you want to have ants like because like pick one one or the other this was quick you know so we haven't done in person in a really long time it was it was nice seeing you even though I was with you all day yesterday can you also just let the gigglers know that I did give you your birthday gift so we're in the clear page gave me her birthday gift it was a bag from the real real I can't stop wearing it I wore it yesterday I know so you it's perfect I'm like not gift giving is not my love language but the fact you got it so right there's a feeling of warmth I love gifting people that that I really really love I love gifting people that I really really love gifting people that I really really know where I'm like I know they're gonna there's nothing worse than someone excited to give you a present they give it to you and you're like so you've never met me before yeah so all of our relationship is a lie so you hate me so I've broken up with boyfriends and not because I'm like oh this is a bad gift I'm like you don't know a single thing about me you googled me today's not even my birthday thank you guys for giggling with us what day is today yeah have an amazing weekend and we'll be back in person next time look out Sunday I think we're gonna start teasing stuff stuff gorgin have a great day