Giggling about jet lag, dolphins, and laxatives

(upbeat music) - Sup, giggler? - Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. - Man, if that's true, we can't be manners. (laughing) (upbeat music) - I'm in the day just got away from me. - Hello, my guava gigglers. I'm currently in Singapore. - And I'm currently smack dab in the middle of my Sunday night routine. - And I don't mean to be a walking Daphne ad, but my Daphne robe and Daphne hair thing, like I created it for myself. I honestly don't care if anyone buys it. This is for my own Sunday routine. - So invasive you, having a routine because I didn't know Jella could hit this hard. - Yeah, you were really cool out. - No, I'm a fool. - It took you out. - I'm a fool. I'm a cocky, delusional asshole. - Because I'm like, yeah, I'm a flight 22 hours and I'll be fucking fine. - You were like jet lag is for actual losers. - It's mental? - Yeah. - Well, first of all, I did love the flight, by the way. We get there, slept eight hours immediately. 'Cause we, it was like a midnight flight. Land, then like fuck around for five hours. I watched every episode of this blind. (laughing) - Boston? - Boston. Dude, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. - No, I'm obsessed. - I'm obsessed. - I actually really like one of the guys. - Can I guess, which one you like, like as a person? Like these are good guys? - Yes. - Cam? - Yes. - Yeah, the sweet sweet Cam. - And then there's one that people think is a good guy, but they-- - No, I forgot her handle. This girl was like, love is my Boston. It's just men beard-fishing everyone. And she took all the beards off the guys. And it was truly abrasive, scary, like someone needs to get reported. Some are hiding no chin, some are hiding too much chin. There's a lot going on. - One girl was like, I love my career. And the guy was like, first to your children or second to your children. Like you're unborn children. Like what would you do? I'm like, oh my god, calm down. - Right after she had said to him, like what are you passionate about? And he was like my career. Then he said to her, what are you passionate about? And she's like my career. He was like, do you even love babies? Have you ever loved a baby? - He was like red flag. Serious red flag. - But him and her, Makayla, the Italian one who I followed on Instagram. - The one who did that whole speech about the oven sig. And she's like Christmas night. I just want to be smoking an oven sig and I do what it brings on my date. And I'm like, fuck, fuck, she got a date. Like I, her scenarios. I'm like this is my kind of girl. I also love making up the most outlandish scenarios in 10 years from now. I love her imagination. - She's amazing. My thing with the show is I'm all for it until they're like, and now you have to propose 'cause I'm like guys. - Did you get to the part where the guy with the glasses who is a murderer was fighting on the phone? - We've all been there. We all dated that guy that some minor inconvenience happens and he's burning down the apartment. And you're like, I'm gonna take a walk around the block. - I actually got really triggered when he was like, but we have good conversation. We have a really good relationship. Don't we tell everyone we have a really good relationship? I was like, oh my God, scared. - She even bring up him yelling at customer service. She brought up a whole nother scenario that we missed 'cause they lost the luggage. And he was like, I wasn't yelling. And I'm like, that's what men say when they wear assholes, but they want it be like, but I didn't yell. And I'm like, you were strongly yelling. - You had a strongly worded sentence. He's probably the scariest guy they have on there. - And for all the girls who were judging her for staying with him even though he doesn't believe in anything she believes in and is like insane. She just wanted love. People will hate her harder for staying than him being a psycho. - I also think though like Boston people are so inherently funny 'cause they're smart, they're quick. And they're just like Irish Italian immigrants with the funniest families. - Yeah. - No, it's a great season. - And then a Neha who's like, when my parents find out you're white, they're never gonna speak to me again. And he's like, why was this not brought up? But I guess people were saying she didn't think he was white in the pod. - She's also hilarious without trying to be-- - Well, she does baby voice in the most condescending way which I respect. - She's like, and now we don't have any more family. So are you staying? She's like, wait, this is a really big problem. She's like, is it? - I don't know also if I'm 35. And I have such a shorter attention span when it comes to love and believing in love. But the second I see them have a stupid fight, I'm like, that's not your person. We're like in my 20s, I'm like, they're working it out. Now I'm like, I saw one fight, I'm like, that's not your person. - Well, if you're a man and you're over the age of 35 and you're still like, I don't know, worried about something that happened to you in high school, I'm like, I shot, oh, like get over it, you know? - It's 'cause we've seen so much smoke my up and sig. But like some of the back and forth, I'm also like, it's totally okay to fight, but it's like how these people are fighting. The truth is, is a lot of people, when you get down to like the two people you've chemistry with in the pod, it really is a 50-50 chance. Like there isn't one answer. And I can't wait for the people to come back to see who- - I can't wait. - The next string of episodes is going to be amazing. - Don't sure. It's crazy. So anyway, I watched that. - What was like the food on the flight? - Oh, okay, so, 'cause you're on there a full day, like how often are they feeding you? Because you need to be fed every two hours. - When I got on the flight in America, it's midnight, but they're serving breakfast because they're doing Dubai time, 'cause it was Emirates. - Okay. - So I was like, look, I'm done for breakfast at any time. You're like, who am I to fight with an omelette? - Yeah. Bring it here. - So I got the pancakes, 'cause I'm on vacation, and I'm party with food. I'm not partying with dancing, I'm not partying with drinking, I'm partying with food. - Speaking of, I'm actually gonna order a taco. I actually already have it set up in my car. I just need to press go. - I love how you're doing a taco. A side of a taco. So I got the pancakes passed out. Then when we landed, it's all kind of a blur, but we get to Dubai. And that was kind of iconic, because I've never been to the Middle East. And, I mean, we just were in the lounge for like three hours, but they had Dubai chocolate. It was pretty authentic. - Yeah. - I mean, it's just chocolate there. - No, he's kidding. (laughing) - Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid. I've got also one thing about that men don't like to do, like when I was in the airport, I was like, I wanna walk through all the gift shops and like all the random shops. Like I just wanna browse and does was like, why? And I'm like, I don't know, that's just a hobby. Like obviously I wanna look at every little trinket and every little snack that I've never seen before. - Also, you were just sitting for a full day who probably needed to like stretch your legs. - I need to stimulation, exactly. - Also, I didn't even try to do the time change. I just was like, I've lost all my family and friends. I'm just like, you're like, I'm a time traveler. And like, I, I want to be like page. This is Hannah from the future. That's how I find that page. This is Hannah from tomorrow. It's gonna be okay. - Okay, well, I truly felt like you went to space because I was like, down here on Earth, so much is happening. I'm like, I have so many things I need to laugh with you about. I need you to respond immediately. - I didn't have internet for the 17 hour flight to Dubai. So then we land and does is like, have you seen this? And I was like. - I sent so many screenshots. I'm actually, I inundated you with screenshots. I go and then this person said this and then they responded back. It was amazing. - So I texted you when I was like, give me the tea. Then you texted me all the good stuff and then I get on the next flight to go to Singapore, which is eight hours. So then I look at my phone and you're like, are you alive? And I'm like, sorry, I asked you for the best tea of my life and then I died. - Died? So we land. At this point, like, you don't even know if morning is a night, whatever, but it was 2 p.m. And Des was like, we cannot go to sleep. We just have to keep going. So we walked around. I tricked him into going to a cat cafe 'cause I was like, I have to meet Singaporean cats like see if they said, they've never met a cat from Singapore before. I don't know what language they speak, primarily English, but they do speak Mandarin here too. - So big to you all again. Hi, Hannah America. Hi. United States, Hannah. - I also fully tricked him 'cause sometimes, you know, [BLANK_AUDIO] One of the people get control of like the google maps. Yeah, and you're like, I'm directing us He's like, where you take me? I'm like summer fun of course we get there And you have to walk up like eight flights of stairs, and I'm like, oh no, we're this this is how it ends the first day in Singapore And it was the cutest cat cafe But I reserved dinner right and I was like I want when we land to go to like a really nice restaurant So I found like a Michelin star tasting menu So we get there at like six p.m. And the second we sit down we realized Michelin star That's again eight hours, isn't it page? Yeah We sat down by the way the ambiance was peaceful. It was dark. Oh, you're getting sleepy There was so it was almost like mandolin spa of music. So I look up They put magnesium like in the air They speak like this whenever they can be hello can we help you with any would you like some water tea? When I tell you they ASMR you So I see there's like nine courses courses Oh my god, but I'm like sometimes they kind of just it's it's it's fast. You know it's fast. It's you know They're like let's let's keep it going. They're rolling it up. They're shoving it out. It's it's quick Yeah So they start with like a bread that's not on the menu. So I'm like, okay, I guess it's 10 and Because I'm like, which one is this and they're like, this is off menu and I was like, oh no I like don't finish my bread because I'm like, I have a whole You're out of me. I can't use this. I want to fill up on bread. Yeah, exactly But they start taking everyone else's bread away and they like don't take our table and Then Dez realizes like they're mad that I didn't finish my bread and then so we get behind like everyone else is like They got the first course the second course. We're sitting there with the bread. Finally a guy comes up to me goes Is there something wrong with the bread man? And I was like, oh my no, I love bread I just we just landed and I'm a little bit up and I don't want Clawed myself the bread and he's like, oh listen the American got my grow biome. It's not great if I shovel this bread down I'll pass out. I'll go right to sleep at this table. Doesn't I look banners are best thing like talking to each other is where we thrive Yeah, this is the first time ever in our relationship Makes sense. It's no big sentence. He fell asleep on me at the restaurant like I was like trying to Get him going with something and I saw him lose life in his eyes. Oh my God. Did you think that he had a stroke? Actually, what does every now and then when he sleeps too late? I'm like I need to take a sharpie. I'm so scared right now He sleeps pass AP at 8 a.m. I'm like called up something around so I told him I said look Cuz I was facing the restaurant. He was facing me. I was like you can sleep in between courses. I'll wake you up when they come Cuz mind you We're two hours in at this point and we're only halfway through the menu Why didn't you just get up and leave because it took me three weeks to get this reservation. Oh my God And it's spectacular like it is a spectacular meal, but we are You're losing like I was underwater. You felt like you were getting tortured. It was Is torture it was a torture chamber of incredible flavors Like I was like on the acidity of that mushroom was picked up You're like that did just explode in my mouth, but I am going to pass away. I'm getting dizzy It was four hours. You know whenever it's something like that happens to me I just immediately start crying because I think I'm gonna die I'm like no one in the history of life has ever stayed awake this long. I'm gonna die Also when I landed I like I Had the worst bloat of my life. Yeah, I can't imagine So I'm like beyond bloated. Did you bring your compression socks? Yes, I wore my compression socks But like I feel like your body's not prepared for this. Yeah, so I'm bloated I'm stuffing like the most random different incredible impeccable flavors in my mouth And we're getting there you know they come and they give the story of like how the fish was killed They're like this fish was Killed innocently from the back of the head It was with its family it was happy before it all went awry. There was no blood Their predictions Singapore actually everyone speaks English in Singapore really yeah because it's like a combination of like Malaysian, Chinese, Singaporean, anyway, regardless we survive the dinner How many hours it was a four hour dinner and you texted me into hour what and we're like I'm not gonna make it I'm you're like I'm going down. You've got ten minutes to respond. I was oh my god. I'm not prepared So much I want to say we have to record the morning, but then I had a whole next day, so we woke up and I'm eating everything We had this buffet and I'm like trying everything. So I'm eating curry for breakfast. I'm eating noodles for breakfast. I'm eating blue jasmine rice I ate everything There's known for this like chicken rice dish. We go to some like small Market we get it. We're shopping like on the street I heard like their street food is insane. Yeah, it's like there's like Michelin star street backers So I'm living my best fucking life eating everything But then I start getting um. I hate to be predictable on this pod. Yeah Your stomach starts to feel a little funky. I don't have trouble going to the bathroom. That's never been my problem Ever in my life people warned me that this is a thing that can happen, especially when you're layering The most insane flavors that you've ever had in your life. Mm-hmm. So it's like does I haven't gone to the bathroom since like the day before we left so you're three day your through your four Okay, and we're getting ready to go to dinner, and I'm like I Can't but in my pants And then I like can't wear a dress because and then I was like wait, do I just pretend I'm pregnant? Like I was at the point where I'm like, do I just go out and like put my little Left hand stomach under my stomach and say it's a boy So this is like dying laughing, but like it's painful like it's hard. Yeah, yeah, and I'm like no position is right and I go we have to go to the pharmacy. Let me just say right before I texted you I threw a laxative into my mouth Text a page see you in the morning and I passed out. Oh, interesting. Have you ever taken a laxative before? I have but not before bed. So I took dope galax mm-hmm, and it says take before bed Mm-hmm in five or six hours the motion will happen in the ocean Okay, exactly five hours on the dot I felt like I was giving birth to Satan Page I was getting the worst cramps of my life. Yeah, I can't imagine It's a pain level that I've never had before because this is layers of Michelin star meals. Yeah, and non-Michelin star meals that are going through. I should have told you to get some lemmy deep blue I Should have been taking it beforehand on the plane. Yeah, it's like contracts your organs and It like wasn't worth long so sure I started having a panic attack on the toilet in Singapore in the hotel room What time of day is it? It's like the middle of the night and that's the question. We all want to answer It was one it was one a.m. I time one p.m. Your time So you're like going on your mental health walk or whatever you do around one. I start like my hand started to go numb because I'm like freaking out that like You're nervous about that like I don't know my insides are trying to be on my outsides, but they're not coming out I like my my insides are like contort like the pain It is so you to have a panic attack on the toilet because like it's not going the way you expect it like I'm like this happens to page when she has to perform in front of 4,000 girls. This doesn't even mean when I just don't like the flow of Yeah, but nothing was releasing like I was just being torched I felt like someone was squeezing my insides and then I decided I'm like okay, I'm gonna faint on the toilet Which is like you decided it you're like, you know what that's take ourselves out of this Let's just pass out and not deal with this. It's really triggering. It's super traumatic. I'd rather not be here This is such a niche experience, but when you're going through it There's nothing that feels better than lying down with your pants off on the cold Or no, nothing That was me in Italy. I was like this is the best I've ever felt in my life So I'm laughing 'cause I'm like the poor gigglers. Like they just want us to go on one trip. - Yeah. - Just one trip that doesn't involve like gastrointestinal drama. - Every time I go on a trip and I wonder how people backpack across the world. I'm like, surely you're having a bathroom experience every couple of days because like there's no way my body's just too sensitive. - And I am my father's daughter, which is like no matter how much my stomach's hurting, I'm not not eating. - Yeah, see that's where we're different. I can even look at food when I have a stomach ache. - I feel like it's not respectful to their culture to not try every single thing at the buffet. - No because in some like other countries, it's better to not even go to dinner than to go and insult them. - And not eat food. - And not get insulted. We're in America, they're like throwing on the ground. I don't give a fuck. - You know, it's really, it's awful. But other countries are like, no, this is sustenance. This is nutrients. And we're like, I don't care. It's, we made it in a lab. - And they're like, this was made with love. This isn't fucking America. - Yeah. - So I'm lying on the cold bathroom floor, fully having a panic attack. - Where's Dez? - So he's in the bedroom. And at that moment, I'm like, what if my husband comes in like right now? Just me, lying with a big shirt, no pants on like a toddler. - Just belly up. - Belly up. (laughing) 'Cause it's still, I'm literally, you know, when you see a toddler who has like a fat belly and no pants on, that was literally me 'cause I'm so comfortable. - Like they're not fat, but you're like, why is there stomach so ratny? - Why does that two-year-old have a beer belly? - Yeah, why is that? Maybe it's like their organs are developing or something? - I don't know, but it's so cute. But it wasn't cute on me. Finally, my husband, I get back on the toilet and he knocks like, hey, are you okay in there? And I'm like, yeah, not really. - And then I'm like, but go back to sleep. And he's like, I can't go back to sleep after you telling me that you're like, having a panic attack. - Leave me. - And I'm like, leave me a step. - Look at the way. (laughing) - This is marriage though. Like I feel like if we were first dating, I'd be like, help me, like, yeah. - Like hold my hand. Now, I'm like, let me deal with this. Like, I don't need to deal with you also. - No, literally. There's nothing better than when you're comfortable enough to be like, I'm dealing with a lot and adding you to this list, I'll kill you. Like, I'll literally kill you. - Then at one point, I'm like, do I go to the Singaporean hospital for the bit? One thing about me though, I'm not going to the hospital. Now, that could be how I go. But like, some people are very easy to be like, just call 911 and let's, I'm not doing paperwork. I'm not. - In another country, I'd rather book a flight home. And I thought about it. I was like, with the glucose being disappointed and I flew 12 hours in Singapore, got too constipated. - Yeah. - Poisoned myself with the laxative and said, get me back on the plane. - No, I was this close in Italy to being like, I'm going home. Like if they said to me, I had to go to the hospital. I was like, I'm going home. I'm not doing this. And I had a full day. I walked 10,000 steps. I saw all of Singapore. I had all the local, you know, food and-- - You walked 10,000 people. - Yeah. - 10,000 steps and it didn't churn anything in there? - Page. Something sick, something evil. Was that my inside being like demonic? I really started walking like a pregnant woman. You know when your feet start going out and you're like fluffing. My algorithm is so crazy. I started getting tiktoks for stretchy jeans for pregnant women. (laughing) Like how is the algorithm so good? But I knew I was okay because I was like farting. Like if you can't fart, like that's a bad sign. But the fart-- - Oh, you like legitimately thought that something gastrointestinal was happening. - Yeah, I was like-- - Like in a blockage. - Yeah, so they were like as long as you're not as you can fart, there's like something flowing. But then the farts weren't smelly. It was more like gasping of air. It was like, (grunting) Do you shit have done that thing that they do to babies when they do like a bicycle with their legs and then like, push down? - So with accidents, there's two options. You could take a suppository and you just put it up your ass and within 15 to 30 minutes, you just like, (laughing) it's like a cartoon's TNT. - You were using your second hole. - Sorry. (laughing) You were embracing your second hole. And Singapore, you're very gracey over there. - I do my thing and then I'm just afraid it's gonna come back in waves like throughout the night. 'Cause I'm like, I already haven't slept. This is, I actually was one of the darker moments in my life. - Yeah. I'm almost around the corner with my master masker and now this is happening. But I actually had quite a peaceful sleep. Good. I'm still backed up, but I went to breakfast. (laughing) Of course. I had some music. I asked for a coconut. They brought me a young coconut. What the hell is a young coconut? - I don't know. I was like, do you guys have coconut water? I'm a little dehydrated. I had a little crazy night last night. And they were like, here's a young coconut. I love that. - And when do you come home, how long are you there for? Well, this is the thing. - You don't know what's a day or time. - This is a show tonight, apparently, he says. And then we get on a flight for Vietnam. - Right. And we stay there for two days then we get on a flight for Hong Kong. So like. - Oh no. So you're like from back up in the air and like, I'm so scared. - Wait, you need to take like some deep blow before like when you got on the plane. Just like regular like. - Do you know what it reminded me of? Do you remember like Kylie Jenner promoting like, was it Tummy T or something? - Yeah, you would like, would kill for a Tummy T. - Yeah, that's really just like mint. Like and like mint T is basically that. - I thought it was like lax. Like girls were out here just like, shitting themselves being like Tummy T. Look how small weight my waist looks after I've shot myself. And I'm so dehydrated from diarrhea. - I don't think there's laxatives in the tea, but maybe. - So you never did a Tummy T back in the day. - I never did a Tummy T. But I've done like a detox tea like after you get a lymphatic where it's just basically like. - You love saying let it ginger. - Yeah. - I'm in a spot like, I'm spying right now. I had an eventful weekend as well. - Well, you were living your like college football dreams? - Well, Joe says, do you wanna go to the game on Saturday? And I don't know why in my head. I was like, yeah, I'll go to the basketball game. And he goes, no, football game. And I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know what. Because someone was talking about the next the day before. And so I just like was like, oh yeah, basketball started. - Isn't it so funny? There's games everywhere you go. Like you can't get away from the game. - No, I can't get away from sports. And so then I'm like, oh, okay, perfect. Miami colors are orange and turquoise. And I have this vintage turquoise dress that I've been like, I haven't worn in years. It's perfect for the game. Joe goes, the game is Saturday morning. And I'm like, oh, like the NFL plays on Saturday mornings and he's like, this is college. So now I'm like, okay, not only have I messed it up once, I've now messed it up twice, I have no outfit. - Wait, 'cause you can't wear turquoise vintage dress for the morning college game. - No, because their colors are not turquoise. - Oh. - Their colors are dark green and orange. So I'm like a guy. - Oh, orange. - So I put on these like orange cute little shorts. Love my outfit. I crimp my hair because she's different in Miami. My second hole is popping off. My hair is crimp. - I love this college throwback. - Yeah, I'm like, it's going to college. I'm crimping my hair. - So I get there, I immediately have a hot dog. I post to the cheerleaders because I'm like, not only do they have a cheerleading team and a dance team, I'm sat. I'm sitting there and I hear someone say page. And so like, I look over. Bethany Frankel. - Why was she at the Miami football? - Okay, but she said hi to me. Almost as if like, how dare I not tell her I was going to be there, but we've never met before. But I got nervous. I got nervous. You really got so sorry to tell you guys coming. - I literally, she was like, what are you doing here? And I was like, I actually, I was last minute. I didn't know I thought I was going to a bad spot. - You're not avoiding you. I swear I'm not avoiding you. - So whatever, she sat next to me the whole time. We chatted. - Oh my God. - Her daughter is so cute and nice. And then someone comes up to me and was like, the cheerleading team would love to meet you. And I was like, I would love to meet the cheerleading team. - You're like, I've been staring at them the whole time. - I got this the only thing I've been watching. I go down, I meet the girls. And then the sky walks over to me. And he is like, do you want to go? Do you want to be on the jumbo tron? And I'm like, I've never been on a jumbo tron. And so I got nervous 'cause I was like, we, what do people actually do on a jumbo tron at a game? I didn't have a drink in my hand so I couldn't like, chug it and be fun. I look at Joe and I'm like, what do I do? And he goes, just be yourself. - You just saved me. Mom, he goes, I don't know, you're a natural. Just like, do whatever comes to your head. And so the camera guy was like, you can throw up like the symbol. And so I made it into a dancer team. And I just like, that's what I did. - Did he know how long your fingers were though? - No, he didn't. - And he goes, it's gonna be on you for five seconds. In my head, I was like, thank God, I didn't wear the turquoise dress. I would have been a laughing stock. - Well, I just think it's so funny with sports 'cause you're like, I'm going to the college sports game. Then I go on Instagram, you're on the jumbo tron. You're dancing with the cheerleaders. I'm like, she played in the game. She's the quarterback. - You're one of those people. Like, even if you want to be in the background, like you stay quiet, you don't say anything, you don't do anything. People still throw you to the front. - Every time I go to a professional sporting event, something happens to me that I'm like, I didn't intend on this. Like, I did not plan for this. I'm really like, why, leave me alone. - Sports really embraces you. - Yeah, it really embraces me. - Could you imagine yourself, like in college, every Saturday, having like a football game day? - Yeah, well, I'm gonna go back for the homecoming because the girls really do want to come to homecoming. I was like, yeah, I mean, I freaking love a homecoming. Are you going to an dance after? Like, I'm coming. - I'm sitting at the game and I say to Joe, I'm like, it's so crazy that these are kids out there. These are kids. And he's like, he's like, these are grown men that are like six to five. And so we're down on the field and he's like, do they still look like kids to you? 'Cause like, they're huge. And I go, they can't even legally drink yet. Yeah, that's a baby. That's a child that I could have birthed. - They are, they're like, barely forming sentences. They're scared, they're calling their mom. In my head, I'm like, if I was a teen mom, these would be my children. I watch NFL games, like they're my children 'cause they're on my fantasy league. So I'm like, don't you touch my son? Don't you hurt him? - Because we're in our 30s, if you're younger than 30, I'm like, that's a baby, that's a little sweet girl. - I'm 35, if I were to meet a 34-year-old man, I'd say, sweet baby, how can I help you in this life? What do you need to learn? - I'm like, you don't know anything. - Oh my God. - Wait, you want to know what I did today? That was like, so me and so self-care. - Yeah. - I charged all my things. - Anything that needs a charge, I charged it. I charged every pair of headphones in my home. - We had such different days. - I charged a mirror. - I said, I didn't even know you needed to be charged. - I thought you ran on batteries. I charged that mirror. I charged my phone, I charged my iPad, I charged this computer that I'm on. Everything got charged. And it brought me such joy. I can't express to you, I felt, you want to feel accomplished, and you're tired, charge something. - Well, that's my problem with vibrators. I've never charged at the right time. - You feel like a freak to be like-- - You feel like out of two's day. - To be like, let's charge my vibrators. - Or you're like, I'm not charging it out in the open. I have to put it in the bathroom somewhere. What am I? Just like-- - When are people charging it? - When are people charging it? 'Cause you're not doing it before, 'cause the moment's over, babe. You're not doing it after, 'cause you're like, don't know what's happening after. - All vibrators should be on batteries, because that's just like, I'm not putting my USB-C in my vibrator. The same as my computer that I'm on for work. Like, no. - I'm sending a work email wall connected to my, I almost said taskrabbit. - Yeah, my vibrator's just plugged into my iPad. Like, no, this, no, I'm an adult. - No. - My Roger Rabbit is connected to my Gmail. - One thing, wait, I did wanna say about going to the football game this weekend. I'm really, I don't think I've ever taken note, but I'm really proud of Florida for having a little whimsy. Like, okay, their professional team, the dolphins. - Cute. - Turquoise. - Sorry son. - Orange, the hurricanes. Like, I appreciate the whimsy that they put forth. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - You know? - Yeah. - I feel like no one talks about them. - I realized that if men got their periods, they would call it the red zone. They'd be like, bro, I'm in the red zone. - They would try and make it like so much harder, you know? - Like, they're about to win. They're like, I'm in the red zone, bro. Watch out, I'm so close to my red zone. - Oh wait, okay, I have a little announcement. - Yeah. - One thing about me is, God forbid, I just like relax, you know? God forbid I relax. I've had this like idea for like three years that I was, that I've never, I haven't done, but I've been thinking about it. And I would like go on tour with people and I'd talk to my comedy friends and you. I'd be like, I have this idea for this show, but I don't have the time with energy. But I'm officially launching it, it's been filmed. Now, the concept came from the idea that so many gigglers listen to Giggly Squad when they work out and they're like, I, or I listen to something that makes me laugh and then like, I'll have a YouTube video trying to teach me how to work out. And I'm like, what if you combine these things? 'Cause I personally hate working out. I've gotten really out of shape and like, I can't get myself motivated and I need to laugh. Like, I lose focus so easily. And I'm also the person at the gym with you, I'm talking. I'm talking the whole time if we're jogging, I'm talking. I'm talking, I'm like, let's get through this workout through gossip and fun and laughter. Also laughter is good for your eyes. You're just a gospel for a minute. You're like, and I'm praying. I found Jesus and I'm like, I'm preaching. I do pray while I work out for sure. I'm like, help me get through this. So I decided to create this thing called gym class. The slogan is on Wednesdays we work out. And I have all my funniest comedian friends that's so millennial and I'm passionate about that. I love that. And I made the Instagram handle. I love gym class like LUV. Like it's a name screen name. Yeah. So I got all these like amazing celebrity trainers that I would have never worked out with if I wasn't like trying to make content. And all my funniest comedy friends and we just do these like 20, 30 minute workouts with like comedy in it, but it's like a real workout. So like everyone, we're getting back in shape. This is on YouTube. This on YouTube. So it's like the winter's upon us. It's so easy to start like feeling like a piece of shit. But I want to be healthy. And everyone's day, I'm going to post a new video of a different workout. And I think we all should do it. I love that. Kayla, it's Ness. It's giving G B G G. What was that workout I was doing? G B D. Well, you weren't on that algorithm at all. No, I wasn't in that. You never were on fitness girl algorithm. Not really, no. I also feel like workouts are intimidating. Like even as a former D when athlete, when I go to the gym, I'm like, I don't need all this bullshit. So this is like, you could do it at home. You could do it in the gym. Also, after the Shane Gellis monologue, I was like, let's do some gym class whores. Like, let's shake our ass. Speaking of gym class, I have a new fixation snack. I love how you're like speaking of gym. I love to eat. Speaking of working out snack time, pretzel sticks has to be a pretzel stick in peanut butter. Yes, done. Have you ever had the pretzels that have the peanut butter inside them? Okay, I have, but the quality of that peanut butter, not up to my standards. If it's not a Skippy, I'm like, I know. I only fuck with Skippy. I kind of like the gusher feeling of it where like it explodes in your mouth. Oh, no, no, it's not for, no, it's not for me. Unless they're collabing with a reputable peanut butter and not, no, seriously, I'm taking, I take peanut butter really serious. You're like, I'm about to turn 34. I don't need anything exploding in my mouth, babe. I'm trying to lower my cortisol levels. Peter Pan peanut butter, no, not me, babe. Do you remember when Justin's peanut butter came out and everyone was like, this is the first ever healthy peanut butter in a ketchup packet? It comes in a ketchup packet. Yeah, but like, it's not good. It's like, it's good. It's good for being a healthy peanut butter, but when I want like a real peanut butter, I'm not grabbing Justin's. The truth is everything is healthy as long as you don't overdose. Totally. Like, oh, your peanut butter is sugar in it? Yeah, you're gonna be fine, babe. Do you remember when we were in middle school, there was like a rumor going around that there was like, rat poop in all peanut butter, no matter what? Your mom started that. She was like, everyone eat eggplant parmesan. Enough of this peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. There's rat poison in it. I love the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Oh, yeah. Like, my snacks really are just like, middle school after school snacks. If you're in your peanut butter era, you gotta do toast, peanut butter, sliced up banana, a little bit of honey, toasted. So you have the crispness on the outside and the softness on the inside. It's really a pleasurable experience. That sounds nice. And I do envy people that have, what are they even called? Like not, it's a microwave, [BLANK_AUDIO] - It's not, it's a oven, but it's just. - Yes, my great work. - What is that called? - Yeah, my work. (laughing) - M oven? - M oven. - My good name. - My good name. - Two words, but say yeah there. - That's me, I'm like, what's a paper towel? - The first time I ever saw a microwave oven, I feel like in someone's home, I was like, you guys are rich. - Yeah. - Like that, like what I've never seen that before. And I feel like I need to get one of those because I need to make more paninis. - I'm still trying, I'm still trying to just get a microwave. Wait, by the way, people don't talk about it enough. What's his name, George, the George Foreman's? - Yeah. - That man, he had a boxing career, he could have been done, he could have been just like in Vegas, betting all his money away. He creates George Foreman's, which is literally like, when your name becomes the product, it's like, that's fucking huge. - Your household name, that's what they mean. That's, he is the household name. - He is the male Martha Stewart, and it was genius. Like that makes it a panini, a George Foreman, I feel like. You just press it, and I feel like you get a little workout with your forearm because-- - Yeah, I need to look into panini presses. - Oh god, we're so in our 30s right now. We're so in our 30s. - Well, you know because I never used to be a fan of a hot sandwich, but as I get older, I think about them more. - You never felt with Quiznos? - No. - See when I went to the Midwest, they had Quiznos. I don't think I've ever even walked into a Quiznos. Never even eaten that at Quiznos. - You've never dabbled in Quiznos. Have you ever, you go to Subway and you don't get a toasted? - I don't. - I'm a cold sandwich girl for a lot of things. I'm a cold over hot for a lot of things. - You get an Italian BMT without toasting? - I'm cold. - No. - Because I don't like warm meats. - There's some super setta? - Yeah. - I think there's something gross about a warm, piece of salami and like, now it's gotta be cold. - Okay, I see your, okay, I see your points. I see your points. - Yeah, it's interesting. We're different in that way. - We're different, but that's what makes us beautiful. - But like I would make a hot peanut butter and jelly. - You want like a melted peanut butter and oil coming out? - Yeah, like I would do that. I would make that over like a hot turkey sandwich. By the way, guys, this is how we dirty talk. - This is important in the formation. If it's slowly dripping, I'm gonna be honest. I have seen some things online where it's like, they sold out Madison Square Garden. Like that's really, and I'm like, what did they talk about? - Like really important topic. - This is my anxiety, but you know when like, good stuff happens to you and then you get scared, like something bad's gonna happen to you. - Yeah, I've been in the house all weekend. I'm freaking out, bitch. I won't even open my phone, I have 700 text messages. I'm like, someone's trying to kill me. - I do have to say that I have been enjoying some of the think pieces on Madison Square Garden. I just think like the timing of it all, like coming out right after Pete Davidson went online. I was like, women don't do shit. They talk to the phone and they have careers. This is bullshit. And then Shane saying that women are horrors for going to the gym. Oh, I did go to a Buddha temple. How was that? - Gorgeous and you love it 'cause it was like gold and there's all these like, body positive statues. - They're like, have the hot peanut butter and jelly. Okay. And this guy comes up to me and he's like holding something at me. And I'm a New Yorker. So I'm just immediately like, no, thank you. I didn't even look at what it is. I just say no, thank you. - They're like, this girl just graces our whole culture. So the guy's like, he's holding, it looks like a flat paper thing. And I'm just like, I don't want free stuff, sir. No, thank you. And then death nudges me and he's like, you have to take it. And I'm like, I don't want to take this man's face. Like now I'm in charge of this piece of paper. I don't know, I've never read a pamphlet in my life. I don't want a pamphlet. And the guy's like, no, and he hands it to me. And I open it up and it's an apron. And I was wearing my Daphne shorts. And apparently, if you're a woman, your knees can't be out. And I was like, I felt like Shane Gillis saw me at the gym. I was like, put this, so then, then I'm all in though, because now I'm like, oh, this is their culture. So I put on this apron, I'm wearing like a tennis shirt and a full apron all the way down to my ankles. And I'm dancing around making does take photos of me. - Imagine if that's the moment your ex-lacks decided to hit. [LAUGHS] - I'm like, I'm actually going to need this right now. - I also think, God, I took it at night. - Thank God, I took it at night. - Well, yeah, yeah. - But I also was talking to desi about haters. And I was like, I love not addressing haters. Like, Paige is good with it. I was like, I look up to people who are just like, quiet and focusing on their art. And he was like, who does that? - I'll add you. - See, I was like, I like to just focus on my art and get better at my creativity and what I'm doing. He goes, who do you look up to, who does that? And I like, really, pause. I was like, who do I look up to, who does that? And I was like, Rosalía. And he was like, does she? And I go, actually, most of her interviews are in Spanish. So I don't know what she's saying. But if I had, she never addresses any haters and I realized this 'cause I don't speak Spanish. Also, she wrote a whole song about her ex called La Pura where she basically calls them an assholes. - I'm trying to think if there's someone that I'm like, oh, I really look up to them the way they carry themselves with me. - Yeah, like, yeah, with people hating them. - Well, I'm always jealous of people who don't have social media. Like, I think that's the ultimate fuck you. - Yeah. - Which is why, like, I was excited for J-Law, but now she's in the game and she's having fun with it. So I support women in the arts. - No, I'm done now, actually. I'm not in the-- - Are you? - Yeah, no, I'm not. - Do you ever regret a comment? - No. - You know what I regret? Not saying more. 'Cause I actually have way better comments. I have more comments. I have funnier comments. - I think my thing is I have so much to say that nothing will do with justice, so I need to just-- - Nothing will do with justice, but just know that there are people in my life that have heard all my comments. - Oh, yeah, the comments are happening. It's just not happening. - Yeah, but no, I'm done. Now I'm literally-- but I'm reading I'm in there, but I'm not commenting anymore. - Until tomorrow. - I'm having a sabbatical until Torah. I'm really-- this is my thing before Torah. I'm centering myself. I'm like, I'm doing-- I worked out. I've been working out every single day. I've been going in the sauna. I'm doing a hair mask right now. I'm different. - I want to formally apologize to you because when I was on the toilet having a panic attack, I thought, "And then I pushed her on the stage." - Yeah. Your hands were numb. - Oh, your hands were numb. - My hands were numb. - And I was lying on the bathroom floor. I'm like, and then I made her sit in front of 3,000 girls. - My hands didn't just go numb, they contorted. They literally were like, "I couldn't move them." I go, "I'm not alive anymore." I'm actually, the blood is draining from me that's the only thing I could think of. - But I do have to say, once you survive that, like, what are you scared of? - Nothing, nothing can knock me down. - Like, no. - And like, my own body has tried to take me out. Was like, "I'm fine." - You're like, "My mind has played little riddles on me "every day." - You think I'm scared of you? - My brain hates me. No, guys. - Final thought. - Yeah. - Drake was seen in his white girl autumn, French poncho outfit. - Look, everyone's a fan of Kyle Richards, young, old, man, female. So like, I think he was just, he's in his housewife era and I love that. - Yeah. - You know, wear a shawl when you wanna wear a shawl. I don't wear enough shawl. - I don't even know what a shawl. - French is so in. - It's just so funny 'cause you have to make such a conscious decision to be like, I'm not gonna put a jacket. I'm just gonna put a poncho shawl and it has to fit with the rest of the outfit. Like, that was a full coordinated attack. - I actually have a poncho I've been dying to wear for the past couple of weeks, so he inspired me. - Maybe the next Miami football game. - It's just me and my poncho. - Wait, do we have to do a hand-in-page Chinese things? Learn how to cheerlead with the Miami cheerleading squad? - We might. I might have to go back up in the air, you know? Once a flyer, always a flyer, that's what I say. - You know I'm giving base. - I'm giving base energy. (laughs) - Imagine me flying in the, I hit a football player accidentally. - He's out for the whole year. - No, that would be a fun one now, at some point. But we have so many. Really top on my list. I really wanna do something with the rack hats. - Yes, yes. - You know, that's like, I really just, I think about the-- - When I get back from Asia, one of these days-- - Well, we'll start planning. - Yeah, we'll start planning. But if you guys have any wrecks for Vietnam or Hong Kong, let me know, or any wrecks for just like, motion in the ocean, just staying alive out there, making it home, I would say. - As you guys know, I don't go to the doctor's office, so this is my doctor's office. So any DMs from doctors are wide open, just on how to use laxative properly. And we love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. We'll talk to you later. Bye. - Bye. (upbeat music)