Giggling about hot dogs, hyrox, and camel toes

I'm in the day just got away from me. Um, thank you. Wait, I just did a thank you for giggling. I just started with the end. Perfect. Perfect. This is great. Um, you guys, we're doing the opposite of what we did last episode. We're now recording at 9.30 pm. We both had a day. We're smoking imaginary cigarettes. I'm like, I feel drunk. You always do this when you go out and socialize. You like, I was out and about chatty-cathying. You get like high just from the streets. Look, the streets keep me going. The streets is where I feel alive. Yeah. Like if you had a drinking problem, it'd be scary. Don't you think? Because I'm just high on life right now. No, I was, you would have hated me. I was bobbing around, but I was controlled. Like, for example, I was at this event for David Yurman and the Knicks and they were like giving money to kids from Brooklyn who have like, play basketball and they like play the game. But of course, I got to passion in it and I was like yelling at the kids. I was like, what is that defense? Anyway, I need to say, Paige's St. Jude Hannity is so comfortable and I'm wearing it right now and I love it. So yeah, I just went to an event without you. You're supposed to come with me. I showed up alone. The best thing about that too is whenever I go somewhere without you, people are going, where's Paige? I go, hi. Hi. I'm Hannah. I'm trying my best here. I know my other half isn't here. Did you meet Emmy Rossum? I have too much respect for Emmy Rossum. Yeah. It was one of those like, okay, I'll acknowledge her with a drive by, but I fully committed. Like, I'm just going to keep walking. But as I made eye contact, we had a little moment where I think I think she wanted to talk to me, but I'm also delusional. Okay. Well, can I give you a little tidbit of information? Oh, I asked her to come on in bed with Paige DeSorbo, but her schedule was not, we were not aligning. The old schedule excuse. No, it's not off my back. Like, I've asked so many people to come on in bed with Paige DeSorbo that have been like, can't know. Kim DeSorbo. Kim was like, if you ask me one more time, I swear to God. And I'm like, I never give it a second thought. I'm like, totally. Like, doesn't, like, I'm not ever going to try and bug you. Like, you said no. Like, awesome. She said that she felt so badly that she asked for my address to send me like, I'm so sorry that I couldn't like come and do it. And I was like, that is so nice. Okay. So she's an angel walking on this or see, she's an age. Her aura, like, she, she's gorgeous. Like, her aura was so crazy that I was like, I don't want to inflict any of my messy energy onto her right now. So I committed to like, I'm not going to try to talk to her. But then as I committed, she kind of looked at me like, I know you. And then, but I'm like, I mean, I already committed to not talking you and respecting your space. So that was my story with Emmy Russum. And then this like, older guys, like, complimented my outfit. And you know, I love talking to an older man. And we're chatting, chatting, chatting. He's hilarious. He's funny. He's New York. Love it. He walks away. Someone goes, that's David Eureman. Wait, he's the most adorable New Yorker me and him are like besties now. Everyone working. I was like, you just chatted with David Eureman for 40 minutes. And I was like, that's my best friend. Also reminded me of my grandpa. So of course, I got him. Wait, I was just going to say he's like, I just looked it up. He's 83. Is he 83? He is, he has a pep in his step. Wait, do you know them are at this tour? It's 85. Did she post on Instagram? Should I post my news? Or was that AI? No, I think that was her obsessed with her. Oh my god. I'm so obsessed with her. Um, okay. How are you? Oh, let's get into it. Yeah. I'm sitting at this basketball David Eureman event. And this guy is next to me, which I, I talked to David Eureman people. I said, never again, I can't be sitting next to a man. Yeah, you talked to one already. I know. He said, by the way, my girlfriend is a giggler. And I said, good, she has, she has a good taste. And he said, I do have to say, he's like, are you still listening a part of my take, which is sports podcast? And I go, so is mine. Continue. He said, yeah, I know what sports podcast. Have you heard about the number one word talk? You're not going to say that he switched over to giggly squad. Page, page, he goes, she listens to it every morning. And I'm like, I'm obsessed with her. And he goes, I, at first, I didn't get it. He's like, so they don't do segments. And she's like, no. And he's like, then how do they know what they're going to talk about? And she's like, you don't get it. Okay. Uh, ever had a conversation before, buddy. You don't have a PowerPoint in a normal conversation. Um, and he was like, then you guys look really funny, like, not just for girls. If he was like, so, oh, this is part of my take, but now I also listen to giggly squad. And I was like, okay, well, at least you like sports podcast. That's all we've learned from today. This is how much like I'm not in, I've never heard, I've never heard a single human say the phrase part in my take. It's crazy algorithmically how it controls our lives. Like, does will say something or I'll see something. And he's like, yeah, that happened in the news last week. I'm like, well, it just became a meme and just hit my algorithm. So that's how I get my news. I don't see it until comics are making fun of it. That's when it hits me. Also, I just have to say page goes, we both look like we're in a Swedish prison. I said, excuse me. What, where did you get that reference? How many Swedish prisons have you been in? What do you like? I feel like I have this like memory where like, I don't know where I watch this documentary about like prisons and I don't even know if it was like Sweden or Norway. One of the like one of them. And it was, it was very IKEA. It was nice. No, it was nice. It was like, wait, that, it's giving nice to my college dorm room for sure. Yeah, I was just about to be like, wait, that is so much nicer than my first apartment in New York City. You go, is that white oak? Yeah. That's white oak. I'm like, so the chair is connected to the desk. Would you have that mix? That makes all the sense in the world. Ikea, Loki, Slabs. Ikea, Swedish. I'm obsessed with the Danes, which isn't Swedish, but it's like in the same area. I'm just like, I'm dying to talk about Chloe. For her to, yeah, for her to post the first side, the third side, the eighth side, the tenth side, and then write BAF in capital letters. At first, I was like, wow, this is nice. Wait a second. She's coming from my throat. She sent me white, white roses to my home today with a card that said, no, we really are best friends. I'm going to, I haven't sent you the picture of it yet because you knew it was going to, you knew I was busy tonight and I couldn't emotionally handle it with the rubber bands. I didn't even comment. Wait, because I couldn't figure out the right thing to say in the comments that wasn't too jealous, but wasn't too nice. Can I tell you something I was looking at her at one point and I go, in my head, I was like, Hannah could be this hair color. Well, then people were talking to me, they're like, oh, we thought this was you. I'm like, and it's not. No, and I hate to come on the pod and like every time we meet a celebrity, be like, no, seriously, like there's no names and they're just like, girls, girl, like, but truly now that I'm like collecting Kardashians like, goddamn infinity stars, like, no, infinity, did you just say infinity stuff? She's playing Pokemon. Oh, truly, I was on the phone with my mom and I was like, I like, what is happening to me? Chloe is of a different caliber. Like, I genuinely don't think I've ever seen someone have an aura of the way she does. And here's how I can describe it. She gives, like, I don't even want to say maternal because it's not like she's old enough to be my mother, like she's in or I don't even actually know how old Chloe is like in her late 30s. She's ageless. Yeah, she's like ageless. Yeah. But you know, when you're little, I feel like every little kid randomly one day, you just like say to your mom, like, if I had another mom, like, this is who it would be, did you ever say to your mom, like, oh, like, I really like that mom, like, I would, like, I would, okay, nevermind. So I was traumatizing my mom at home. You saw one mom with a nice, nice casual sweater and you said, I want her to be my mom. You saw another mom in a good outfit. That's what you're talking about. You're sick. You're sick. No, I never was like, I want a different mom. You crazy. I'm one time a mom walked into school with a purple halter top and purple mini shorts. I'll never forget it. His, the kid was in my class. His name was Nick Berg. He was so nice. His mom was stunning. And when she came to lunch, I literally would go home that day and be like, mom, Nick Berg's mom is stepping it up. He's stepping it up, like, with, anyway. You want Chloe Kardashian to, to birth you? No, like, I I just feel like if I was ever in a room and something bad was happening, I would run to Chloe. Like she gives this like very soft, lovely, or like I can't explain it, but she's just so lovely. Like that's the only word I can say. - She's extremely funny. - She's very funny. - I think people who are really funny, like you are actually really smart. - And I think she actually is really wise. - Yes. - And I think she's been through a lot. And you know why I was jealous too? 'Cause I'm like, I knew you really liked her. Like I knew it wasn't fake. - That's how I felt about Haley. I was like Hannah would like legit go to dinner with her and that's pissing me off. - No, no, no. - He's pissing me off. - And Chloe would hate this 'cause Chloe's like really glamorous, but like of the Kardashians, Chloe's Hannah coated. - Chloe's a little Hannah coated because I feel like she's not afraid to be like, I will shape my pants like if I don't walk away right now. - Of the Kardashians, she's Hannah coated. In general life, she's page coated. And that's layers that like only you guys will understand. - That's like so easy. - She's a page song, Hannah Moon rising. - Wait, something's been really stressing me out recently and I don't know why it keeps popping into my head. What the hell are we gonna be for Halloween? - It's crazy you thought of that because I today was like, do we do like a couple costumes? - Do we do a couple costumes? - I think we've been wanting to. I think we do a photo shoot. - Do you think we had a telepathic moment? - Yeah. - 'Cause I was thinking like, why don't we just like one day get some glam, do a funny shoot, and do a Halloween thing? - Well, we famously last Halloween, let's say Halloween was Friday. Wednesday we got our photos taken babe, we were good. And I know that might sound sad to some people, but when you're 35, you've to do it for the cats. - Wait, do you know how old I am? We're watching the basketball game with these like 13 year olds running around and one of them gets like fouled really hard and hit to the ground and he pops right back up and I'm like, I would have been out for three weeks. When did I become my father? - No, truly, or your grandpa. - I'm literally an old man. Also, I have an invisalign update. - Okay. - I just told you that I didn't wanna go on this journey. - And you know what, and I told you, I respected your boundaries and I don't. - Okay. - So I'm on the plane. - That's great. - Obviously I wanted to have some mustard pretzels at 11 a.m. as I do. Sometimes I get ginger ale, sometimes I get orange juice depends, you know what I ask, but I'm just letting you guys know. - I always get ginger ale on the plane. - What is that about a plane that I'm like, I will jog three cups of ginger ale on a plane? - Wait, and they never have Canada dry and Canada dries my favorite one. - Do you think it's 'cause we think it's like good for our stomach and we're like going to be flooded? - All I want is a nice tea. Like God forbid there's a nice tea, but. - Don't get me started on airlines. - So anyway, I have my little mustard, whatever. - Yeah. - But I have to take out my visline, put them in my lap, which obviously not a good idea. Forget they're in my lap, so like 30 minutes later, I'm like, where's my visline? What's my name? What planet am I on? Then I look down only one of the trays. - Of course, of course. - So I put that tray in and then I'm like, we gotta find the other tray. Obviously this tray, I don't know if I was dancing, it was kicked like to the floor, so it's on the floor. And then I had that vulnerable moment. I said, do we just put it back in my mouth? - You didn't. - Yeah. - I'm 35 years old at this. - You're grown. - I'm grown. I said, don't, I put it in my pocket and I said, we'll wait for the guy next to me to get up and then I'll go. He got up, I got to the bathroom. I put soap in it, like an adult, but then there was like no water pressure to like get the soap off it. - Wait, this is not where I thought this story was going at all. Where did you think it was going? It didn't cross my mind that you were, that you legit got. Why didn't you just put ham sanitizer on it for like crying out loud? Putting real soap? - Did you just say for crying out loud? - Yeah. - For crying out loud. - I tried to stop my gel, but I was too deep in it and I just had to keep going. - You started, you couldn't, you had to finish it. - No, I don't. - I thought you were going to wait till you got home. - Can't you like die from putting hand sanitizer in your mouth, that's for hands? - Yeah, but you, I don't like alcohol. You basically did that with the soap. - Well, that's a problem. I put the soap in and then it, like in my head when I'm in the bathroom, everyone's waiting. Like, there's like a line out the door. - Wait, so I'm rush? - I'm like, I'm rushing. Every second I'm in there, I'm like, they think I'm shitting my brains out. - That's a universal experience, it has to be. Because I feel the same way. - I try to go as fast as I can, then when I get out, I'm like, see, I better have a pussy. - Sometimes I'm like, I didn't even fully pay. - I can't go to bed. - I'm like, wait, I like got up too fast. Do you ever go to wipe yourself and like you're actually still peeing and you're like, wait, am I stupid? - No, that's never happened to me, actually. - Wait, that's why you have UTIs every fucking week, you're free. - Yeah, because I try and go so fast. I'm so busy. - You're so busy, you have things to do. Anyway, I waterboard it, but like there's no pressure. So it's just like trickling on, and I have tons of soap on it. And I'm like, I don't have fucking time for this. There's people waiting. So I put it back in my mouth when I tell you, this is so gross. - I thought I murdered myself. Like I was like, I can handle a little soap. It was the most disgusting. I was like, I'm like, and like airplane soap. You're sick fun. - I don't know what was in that. So then I take it out again, and I'm putting water in my mouth. It's chaotic at this point. - Open the door, no one's waiting. (laughs) No one's waiting. But also I'm like, was it worth it to be cleanly? I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - Because it's like what's worse? The germs on the ground or the toxins in that soap? The chicken or the egg? - The chicken or the egg? Also in the back of my head, I always think you're strengthening your immune system. - Yeah. I always think what would Hannah's grandpa do? - How did I not bring Jerry into this? - Sorry, no. I was just gonna say, have you seen? I wrote it down for last week, and I never talked about it. But have you seen the new iPhone? - Every time I blink, there's a new iPhone. I can't keep up. I can't keep up. - It folds, but like-- - Like a Motorola? - It folds. Are you sure it's not a Samsung? - Do you know when we talk, this just made me think of it. I don't know why I'm Motorola. Do you know that when we talked about the girl shitting and we said like a tough mother? I thought there was like an old video. I didn't realize it was like a new thing and it's like some new workout. - I'm so happy you brought this up because I was unaware of all this and then it was all over my feed. - All over. - Okay. - What you did was fucked up. - No. - What should that was crazy that I was trying to defend? That was fucked. And let me put that on the record. I'm telling you, it was fucked up. - Let me make a statement. - Someone commented and was like, it's so page to call it a tough mother. And I was like, what the hell is a hierarchy? Again, that's a word I've never heard anyone say in my life. - But a lot of people knew what it was. But that's never come across. That's never come across my desk. - So many people in New York City were like making videos like last time, like I did a high-- - I'm like, were you all running home? And just like learning about high rocks? - Also, part of me is like why have I never once, even been invited to a high-drocks? I guess the people know. - It also sounds like a freaky, weird club. - Yeah. - Where you do weird drugs. - A naughty club. It sounds like a drugie club. - Are you gonna high-drocks? Like, ah, it's gonna high-drocks. So my high-drocks is like, oh, but until I-- - It seems like like a club, but in the early 2000s. - Yeah, yeah. - You know? - I thought they were just running on their own. I'm like, okay, she shot herself. Like it happens to the best of us, including me and you. They're like all using the same machine. - It's like a circuit. - That's an immediate penalty. That's an immediate, let's get a helicopter in, take her out. - I thought whenever there was a circuit, it was automatically a tough mutter. - You just love saying tough mutter. - But no, tough mutter, there's a circuit, but they're not sharing all the stuff. High-drocks, are we sure that's not how COVID started? - Yeah, it's so unsanitary. - If a man looks at a machine, I don't wanna go on it. - Remember, there was like discourse like a couple of months ago about like, if you wash your own machines, does the wherever the workout class you go to, should they wash the machines for you? Either way, they're dirtiest fuck. That little spray bottle and like one paper towel, that's not doing shit. - Yeah. - But this is like, this is obviously on a different level. - When someone's watching you wash the machine, that gives me so much anxiety. - So much anxiety. - Like suddenly I forget like how my hands were. - They clean anything. I'm like, should I just wipe it down? I'm like, I'm wiping it down with a dry paper towel. (laughs) Also, like, I went on a treadmill, like I don't have to wash like where I ran, right? Like we're good on that. - Think back to a specific moment when your fear felt really intense. What was going through your mind? Did you know it was OCD at the time? For a lot of people, millions of people, that's not just anxiety, that's OCD, and most of them have no idea. And it's not the organizing stereotype. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental or physical behaviors, you feel driven to do to get relief. Even when it never actually comes, these thoughts can feel very real, which is what makes it so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy, it needs ERP exposure and response prevention therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment. NoCD is the world's leading provider of OCD treatments covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. License therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live face-to-face virtual sessions with support between sessions so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, noCD can help. Book a free 15-minute call to get started at nocd.com. - Wait, can I say something? One more thing about Chloe, who I love and I'm processing all of it. It just was initial shock, the post for me. She normalized Camelto's and that's historical. That's feminism. Like, when Chloe was just joking about her Camelto, I thought that was the coolest thing ever. - It's equivalent to us in a nipple hair. - Yes, but do you know a hard that was for her to just talk about her Camelto? Like, at a time when it wasn't, the Kardashians weren't like, that rowdy, you know? Like, one day someone's gonna take like, snippets of this podcast for some type of study. And the thought of it being like, and she talked about Camelto's at a time when people were talking about Camelto's. - Also, side note. - Yeah. - Paige, do you wanna tell them our update? Our admin update? - That we're serious girls. - That we're so serious from now on. - We are serious for the next four years. But don't worry because you're gonna be able to watch your podcast where you typically watch it and listen to your podcast where you typically watch it. Literally nothing's changing. - Nothing's changing. That was our one note. - The only note. Not a single thing is changing. Other than like more people are gonna get to know Grace and respect her. Other than that, nothing. We ate some girl posted on TikTok. Like just the screenshot of it. She got like a notification on her Pinterest. Like Paige, the server started a new Pinterest board Pixie cut. And I was scrolling and I saw Hannah. I commented and I go, this is the equivalent of you literally. I invited you over for a sleepover. You read my diary and then you stood up in front of the class Monday morning and said Paige has a crush on whoever. - Wait, so you did create it and you didn't make a private? - I forgot. I didn't like, I wasn't thinking. I was like, I know, I wouldn't. - I was just like enjoying my leisure time and then she put you on blast. - She put me on. - She put you on blast. - I literally, as I was scrolling, I go (laughing) I was like, oh my god, this is my picture. Then I went to Pinterest 'cause I got so anxious 'cause I was like, I have some crazy boards on there that like are private, thank God. But I'm like, oh my gosh. Like sometimes, like I have a board that's just about like ways I want you to post. - Me to post? Why do you want me to wait, why do you want me to wait? I have a board of who I wish you were. Like I have a board for like if we ever do a photo shoot. Wait, also, can we just talk about how we were about like putting out a statement that we're with serious and it took us 48 hours to find a photo of the two of us that both like. - I kept seeing photos being pitched and I'm like, what was wrong with the last 80 photos? But I also realized that I didn't like them. - Oh, you were the problem. We also like, not to be like we're so West friends, but like we don't have tons of photos together considering. - We've none. - And the ones we do, we were like forced to take in. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We have like work photos. We have like work event photos. - It's literally just us like co-worker events. Being like smile. And then the last four months, no photos good. - We have, yeah. What's going on with the last four months? - I can't smile. - Wait, I genuinely forgot. - We literally forgot. - It's looking. - It's looking really good. - No, it's definitely getting better. - Stop, stop. - So in my close camel toe, I think about more than I should. - Oh my God, I wasn't recording. - You know what's crazy? I actually wasn't recording the first like three minutes. But it's okay, press play now. She'll use the audio. - Grace is gonna kill me. - It was actually Grace's fault 'cause she talked to you about the volume. - Yes, and so when I went to press record, I didn't, and I looked at the volume. - That's what I did, too. I changed the volume to press record. - Wow, that was really crazy. I always gaslit Grace and turned it around on her to be her fault. - It's, (laughs) Grace just tried to do her job. We go typical Grace trying to sabotage us again on the podcast. - Literally just gaslit the fuck out of Grace lied about it all. And then was like, you're crazy. - Wait, but this is why three way friendships don't work. You guys just watched it. Because literally two people turn on the other ones. Way too easy. Way too easy. - That was so quick. - By the way, Grace is just listening on me right now. Like she's like, I'm not doing with them. - Wait, can we talk about reality TV for a second? - Okay. - I'm like back in my reality TV watching. Like I watched the entire Real Housewives of London. - Oh, you love London. Is it good? - It is so fucking good. I'm like so confused that it's not on like regular Bravo programming. It's like on peacock. It was like on whatever is in England. It's so good that I like watched the reunion. And I feel like sometimes I like skip a reunion if I like don't really care. - Mm-hmm. - Then, I've been watching Next Gen and My See. - No, I'm obsessed. - I'm so obsessed with it. I just think it's like such a good drama that like, I don't know if it's because I see them as like a lot younger than me. Then I'm like, this is amazing drama. - But I just feel like the girls specifically are so just mature. And the way they talk to each other about things, I'm just like, oh my god, I did not talk like this when I was like 23 years old. And I'm just like I'm obsessed with it and if you haven't watched it's so good. - Can I say something controversial? - Yeah, of course. - I think like watching people fight in their 20s is funny. - Yes. - And watching people fight who are like old. - Yeah. - Is also funny, but there's like a middle age fighting where it starts to get a little too real. - Yeah. - Almost, I don't want to say the word sad, but you're just kind of like, it's dark. Life is life in, life is life in. But like when you're young or old, you're like, this is fucking hilarious. - Yes, because it's either you haven't experienced enough or you've experienced too much. - Too much. - We're like in the middle, get it together. Like just like even put on an act that maybe you have to say about it. - It's like drinking. When you're drinking a lot in your 20s, hilarious. When you're drinking a lot, when you're old, also hilarious. When you're drinking too much in your 40s, people are like, you have to talk to somebody. This is affecting your family. - Call your family. Call your, you've lost your job, you've lost your loved ones. - Oh, God. - Well, I am the correspondent of Dancing with the Stars on "Gakeless Love." - And let's talk about it. - That's really, yeah. - The reason I am is, by the way, this is only the second time I've ever watched it, but I have people around me giving me my sources. First of all, Haley was a dancer whole life. So she like tells me the tea and then Desmond, my husband, famously was on "Dancing with the Stars" Ireland. You should Google it. Maybe we'll put a photo in the newsletter. So he like knows the inner workings. - Do you remember the one time we were having dinner and Desmond just walked to the end of her, his entire "Performance of Cha Cha"? (laughs) His Cha Cha. Sierra made it through the first round. Thank the Lord. They had her do this, well, she did this like emotional, beautiful, like gown. It was actually a really hard dance, I thought. And she fucking crushed it. One of the judges started crying. It's one of those things where like, you're like, oh, I would never cry on the reality show. And then I think when you're in it, it's so intense. and they're working their butts off, and the nerves they must be dealing with, like, it's scary. - Oh, I would crumble. - Honey, I would crumble. - Crumble, crumble, like a cookie. - Project Alvama, and for people who have been in my DMs, say, "How do I know why don't you and Paige go "and do it with the stars?" I will speak my side, first of all, yes, would love to do anything with the stars. Here are the problems that I'm open to arguing with people about, but these are my problems. - If you're a girl, you have to either be able to do the splits, be thrown around, or be able to throw the guy around. - Okay. - I'm too sturdy. I'm not being thrown around, but I'm also not fit enough to, like, do anything else, and I'm not flexible. So if I'm not flexible, and I can't be thrown around, what am I bringing to the table here? - Somebody asked me, "Why don't you and Hannah do it?" And I was like, "If one year they change the rules "and you compete it as four sums, "then I would do it." - Wait, why did I just have a just doing like, co-cross buns, like-- - But I'm like, "I'm not going in a room "for eight hours a day with a straight man." And like, listening to him telling me what to do in practice, here's the other thing. - When you'd be with Ezra, who's a former Mormon king? - He's gay? - Yes. - I will always support my friends. And of course, I turned on Dancing with the Stars to watch my front and Sierra, and of course, I'm gonna post that you must vote for her, and I'm gonna vote for her every single week. - And you could vote 10 times. - I'm gonna be so insanely honest right now. As soon as Sierra was done with her performance, and I listened to the judges, I clicked right off that stage. I-- - You did what you needed to do. - I did what I needed to do, and I feel good about it. I don't know if it gives too much Broadway for me? - No, it's way too much musical for you. - Because I like watching Dancing videos. Like, I love watching the LSU Dance Team at a god damn dance competition. I love watching cheerleading competitions, but there's something about when someone's got to give a little-- - Like, I-- - Show me? - A little show me? - Like, I just, I can't do it. And I'm gonna say one other thing. I find some of the judges super annoying. - They need to have a Simon Cowell, and they don't right now. - Yeah. - 'Cause the woman who used to be mean is like, trying to be nice, but it's like, I want her to just lean into being like, hellish. Like, just be like the meanest person ever, and we'll all grow from it. - Yeah. Like, the Gen Zs will learn, it'll actually be good for it. - Oh, do you think that's why there isn't a mean one? That because it's-- - I think that she was getting hate online that she was being too mean. So she tries to like, sugarcoat things now, but then it's like, doesn't work. I'm like, just fucking tell 'em. Just, it's like, we were raised by Simon Cowell. That's how we got so strong. - Has there always only been three judges? - I think they'll have guests judges sometimes. The reason I could see one day maybe doing it is that you just want the outfit. You love the outfit, you have the vision. There are, but then there's some bad outfits. - There's a little too many sparkles happening. - What are the lengths I have to go for a good outfit? Like, I don't feel as though I need to put my butt-- - And I respect that. - I did see the next answer, and it was Jada. I think was the one I saw, and-- - She was so cute. - Okay, then, and she almost had a heart attack. You know, so like, at what cost? - At what cost? - And that would be me. - Someone also was like, would you guys do traders? And I was like, only if we were a team. - Like, imagine us not a team on the traders, a meeting they'd be like-- - Yeah, dude, I'm telling you. - The minute I get in there, I'm like-- - I literally fake, hello. - I'm like, I'm a trader. Here's why I love when people put us in different situations, and I love saying why I would not do something. - Here's why I would not do the traders. You're not taking my phone. - That sounds peaceful though. - Taking my computer, my iPad. When I get to my room at night, what do you want me to do, stare at the ceiling, twitle my thumbs? Like, I can't watch my show. Who's on my iPad? Like, no, I'm not going for two weeks. I can't bring my iPad. That's insane. It's 2026, I'm 33 years old. - Also, like, if you can't call your mom, like, how are you making decisions? - Also, get a fucking grip. Everyone on this show has been on another show. If you say the rules are you can't talk to other people, like, being an adult don't talk to other people about the show. Like, like, I can't believe they have to put those rules in place so that people follow the rules. - My one note with the traders is, I don't understand what the physical, like, contest, like, have anything to do with the show. Like, I have nothing to do with the show. They're like, you're a true trader. Okay, now we're going to do jump into a lake for no fucking reason. - Quick question here, guys. What's the plot of this show? I go, where is it? Wait, why would, why are we jumping out of a plane right now? There's no reason to jump out of a plane. - Traders feels like it is a show that was, like, created by people like us. Like, there was someone that was like, okay, my friend will host and we're like, fabulous outfit because that's what she likes. And then we'll do, like, these fun games and, like, we'll say this castle, like, yeah, yeah. And we'll let his dog follow him around. - Yeah. - Is there a dog running around? - Actually, right when you said that, a dog jumped off the bat. No, can I just tell you that I heard something earlier today and I, like, yelled for the dog 'cause, like, my worst fear is that, like, the dog has just, like, had enough of Kitty and, like, truly just takes her out. And I heard something and I yelled for the dog and the dog came running in and Kitty came running in behind him, just, just hitting it to the point where I had to go, "Kitty, stop being mean to the dog." - She just beating his little dog. - 'Cause, like, in my brain, Kitty also calls him the dog. - Oh, for sure. I mean, I cannot wait for your next pet psychic appointment. The shit she's gonna talk about. - Oh, it's in October. - I love how they make you wait. - Wait, did I tell you that one night I was on TikTok and it was, like, three in the morning and I came across this, like, insane pet psychic that takes six months to get an appointment with and I booked an appointment. Six months ago. - Okay, and that's when it's real. - October 14th. Her name is Lauren Bodie, B-O-D-E. I don't know, just literally I saw, like, four TikToks about it and I was like, "Yeah, I'll make an appointment." - But also, that's great business. Like, even if you have no clients, be like, "I'm all full for the next four months and people will be like, I'll wait." Oh, wait, if other people are waiting. - No, I was like, "What do I have to rush for?" - That's genius. - Speaking of cats and dogs. So I was like, trying to come up with, like, different ideas for, like, Daphne, photo shoots and, like, we're doing our holiday campaign and, like, one of my ideas involved that, like, I needed a black cat. So I was like, "How am I gonna get, like, like, a black cat for, like, this, like, idea I envision?" And, like, thinking about it and I'm like, "Oh, well, like, I guess I could just, like, cast a black cat." But then I was like, you know how, like, people do those, like, look-alike contests in Washington Square Park? I was like, "What if I did, like, like, a kitty look-alike contests, but a black version of Daphne." - Oh, so, like, a fluffy, black version of Daphne? - Yes, that's what I need for this, like, one idea I wanna execute. - You can cast them, like, there's working actors. - I know there's working cats. - Working cats, which better would never. - Better would never be a working cat. Daphne is a working cat. Not really, though, because she just, yeah. She's the working cat. The other cats talk shit about Daphne's career. They're like, she got that brand deal again. - Wow. - But I don't think she's, like, legally a working cat. - Is she sag? - I don't think so. - She has an agent. - No, she's an agent. - No, like, I take all her money. Like, I'm an influencer, mom. This is, like, who they make laws about. - Wait, someone needs to make a law. - Against you. - You. - Yeah. - You just admit I'm fine. You take all her money. That's crazy that she know that. Are you doing it behind her back? - I'm doing it behind her back. (Daphne laughs) - I'm doing it right in front of her face 'cause she can't read. - Well, I went to this place called Soby Cats. - Yeah. - Paige almost took them all home. - I know. Like, it was, I actually got to point where I brought it up to my husband. I said there's a cat named Genevieve who I had a real soul connection with. And he's like, "I'm gonna stuff you right there." And I was like, like, I wake up in the morning. I think about Genevieve. - Stop. What kind of cat? - She looks just like butter. She looks just like butter. - Okay, so you definitely can't bring her home. (bell rings) - I do have something kind of serious to bring up. Do you think? - Not usually. - Gray Pupon. (Daphne laughs) - Yeah, great Pupana, I'm listening. Thinks it's better than other mustard's mm-hmm because it is Why is it called grape Pupon and everything else is like y'all mustard You know, I actually am more of a French's girl Grey Pupon I feel like is like you have to have a mini pickle. You've still also be you've still also be serving many pickles if you're serving Grey Pupon there's an argument like I don't want Grey Pupon on my hot dog No, I don't either but a lot of people put it on there like a spicy mustard. I don't want them. I don't want to see a seed Anywhere near my hot dog. I don't want to see anything referring to a vegetable Wait, it's one year something really funny the other day my brother came over and he opened my refrigerator and he looked at me and he goes were you craving hot dogs? Because I had hot dogs in the refrigerator and I go yeah, actually I was like I like was gonna Just like fry a hot dog in a pan the other day and he goes that's so weird. I bought hot dogs the other day cuz I was crazy I feel like if you went to college you always have hot dogs in your fridge like you never know when you need to have a hot dog I eat hot dogs all year round. Wait me - I put in my eggs Now we're not aligned You know, but it's like okay, and you could also do like spaghetti carbonara, but instead of bacon you put hot dogs That was crazy. That's crazy. Do you know what's even more crazy? What I don't fry it. What do you do you boil it? No, I take a In the microwave I put it in the microwave you nuke it I nuke it yet for like 60 seconds Pelocut and I also don't even put it on a plate. I put it on a paper towel. You're sick I'm fucking crazy. This is when my husband's gone This is what I do when my husband's out of the house. She takes a retainer off the floor. She puts it right in her mouth She's making hot dogs in the microwave. I didn't say hot dogs are so fucking good They're so good and I'm always just randomly having like a hankering for a hot dog if I don't have a hot dog Every like I would say I crave a hot dog every three months Hankering for a hot dog is your next title of your biography if I did stand-ups as specials one of them would be Hankering for a hot dog and it'd be like my sexual one You're dirty one when you get naughty. Have you been my naughty one? Okay, I have like a scripted show that I'm obsessed with Tell you never have a scripted show your obsessed never never so I Think I also try to find shows that like you can watch with a man if you have to yeah, like it But it's really hard. No, and it's also just Too bad Shout out to Apple for putting out the best shows like the quality But the funny thing with Apple shows I feel like the first season never gets respect in the second season everyone's like Oh wait, Severance's genius. They're like okay silos amazing dark matter. Okay What's it about oh? My god I don't want to say sci-fi because then you get scared, but it's like about don't get just don't snarl don't snarl me sci-fi to what Okay, so it's like it's actually really romantic and it's like philosophical about life. Okay, and how if you Made a different decision. Where would you be in your life? And it has these like realms of like this guy who Decided either to stay with his girlfriend or to leave her and like commit to his career and It shows like what the world would have been like if you But if he made that little decision when he was younger and It just makes you question like all the little decisions you make and then I kind of joke I don't need words page the realm we're in right now is crazy because then they go into different realms Like you could leave and see yourself if you had made other decisions and like I feel like Instagram is like one update away from that It does just make you think about How our lives could be so many different things. Yeah, but it's sometimes based on the small so thing like you deciding To go to school to a certain place or you it's kind of like the Brent toast theory, but like even bigger. That's why I really think that like Especially for a woman like there is no timeline For your life like that is like a made-up thing that we've true like people have truly made up like There's women all over like having babies that like in their late 30s early for 40s like women going back to school and their 50s Like there's no like you can change your life at any time Do you know most of the Emmy nominated women were like in their 40s and 50s? Yeah, which is so interesting, but also Make sense because they're the best at their craft Right like no matter what part of your life you're in like it's not always gonna be like this You know like it's a health moment. What isn't that like crazy to think of and that's like good and bad But it's funny in these worlds you saw like a world where she did what she loved as a painter and had like a big Gallery of her own then you see her as you're like just a mom and There's this crazy moment. I want to give my thing away, but He meets her in one of the worlds and she goes am I happy in the other world? And he's like that's exactly what you asked in the other world So it kind of shows how like you're still yourself in your heart even if you like might end up in different situations And about regret. It's very fascinating dark matter. I don't recommend people watch you have me intrigued any hot people in it Oh, okay, that's gonna say they're very hot. Well the guy is like he's like old hot like he's Australian Yes, that does give a sort of rugged hot So rugged, but he's Australian speaking in an American accent. Okay, so he's versatile So he's talented dark matter cast is it okay? And the star is Jennifer Connolly. Yes. Yeah, who is by the way like wait We don't talk about how beautiful she is You can't look away from her. She's mesmerizing. I'm not even saying this because you just said that but sometimes people say I look like her But I'm not saying that because you just said oh my god. She's so beautiful I think it's because you both have like good bone structure. I feel like I like randomly will get people like in my DMs Her and Winona Ryder are two of the most random people that I'll get that like I randomly look like Winona Ryder pulls up a good pixie cut. I Know you're gonna say that. Well, I let you kind of just like tell your story and then I let you are we gonna discuss like With my pixie. You're unborn pixie cut my uncut pixie That sounds like really like I didn't get circumcised I'm like, are you gonna circumcise your hair or not? Here's the thing it's act it you kind of nailed it last week or whenever you said this It's exactly like getting a cat. I just started thinking about it, which means this won't happen for like two years Yeah, yeah, I know how you work, but guys the seeds are planted You went to my it's in my head like I think it really is gonna happen Right before an italy trip is like when it will happen so that I can like test it out when I'm in there But it's not for a while and then Zendaya walked out with her pixie. Well, that's a different kind of pixie I can't I'm not I can't do that. That's insane. I think you'll get there eventually Another round another round that you have a pixie cut and yeah, you're going to a bar called I mean a club named Roxy What's it called noxy? Hi rocks? Hi? Hi, hi, Drax. Hi, Jaxi cut How fucked up was I draxi cut? That was a crazy time. Wait, I feel like the Jersey Shore cast members like endorsed I feel like I remember like a commercial of like I draxi guy and it was just like Ron, you know, like hi, jaxi caught is so mad at oz epic right now. They're like warning They're livid. I had a high thought even though I wasn't high and it was why aren't there more you know they make songs about like heartbreak and they make songs about like Love like what it makes songs about like being hot. I don't know Why don't they make more songs about like cleaning or like songs about like things when you're listening music you need like about getting up in the morning like let's wake up Let's get up girl. We got it. We got to get up. Yeah, like why is it always just about like give me what it's like let's clean this thing Let's clean. Yeah, we're cleaning and refreshing. You want a kid's bop for adults Yes, I got what you're saying because you're ever like cleaning and you're like I don't need to be like listening about a heartbreak right now Give me some motivation to clean. Yeah, like sometimes I'll be like unloading the dishwasher and I'm like I don't need future Blasting in my ear like the most Disgusting things he's ever done to a woman, you know like like sometimes I Yeah, you want something nice, something sweet. But you want to revert back to sing-alongs where it was like things that you got done when you were like a child. Like, there were cleanup sing-alongs. - I love that. Hey, yeah. We're getting stuff done today, girl. We're getting it done, yeah. - Yeah, I get that. - Getting it, getting it done. Yeah, I mean, maybe that's my next calling. - You want there to be some type of like mis-ratial. - Yes, for us. - Like, you know, when you like do not, you're like, I do not want to wake up in the morning. If only had like a song that, and it wasn't like, misogynistic rap. To get me pumped up. - I don't ever think that, no. - The day, the day isn't ready for you, girl. The day is about to be crazy, girl. - Do you have a hat? - You can do this, girl. - No. - Okay, the hatch of the alarm clock basically does that. Like, you can pick difference. (laughing) - You guys call it an alarm. - You can basically pick different songs, but I know what you mean. - You want it like on your Spotify, that like when you're doing mundane tasks, you have like a sing-along to do it too. - I have two crazy questions. One, does your parents wake up with an alarm clock? - At what age do you stop needing an alarm clock? 'Cause I've never met a grown-ass adult with an alarm clock. - Okay, well, I'm convinced my dad has never gone to sleep a day in his life. Like, I. (laughing) You know, like, I'd be like, my dad just perpetually resting his eyes. Like, he's never actually fallen asleep. - But he's always kind of asleep. - Like, past 8 p.m., he's dead cold out. Like, he's. (laughing) But he's never really asleep. - My dad's also like, again, like, he doesn't have an email. Like, he doesn't like, he doesn't know certain social cues. Like, you know, like, I don't think he's ever. - Used an alarm clock at Kim, on the other hand? Probably only for things that are before 6 a.m. - Yeah, which makes sense. - Other than that, I'd say no. - My dad has this weird thing where he says he can set it in his head and it works, and he'll do it for, like, very important things. Like, a 5 a.m. wake up for, like, a meeting. He'll be like, I'll wake up. - And Loki, it's just Lenore, like, lightly waking him up. - He goes for some reason, or just always wake up at the right time. - Also, 'cause my mom was sleeping with me the other night. Oh, sorry, my internet was bad. My mom was sleeping with me, and my alarm went off in the morning, and she was like, what the fuck is that? She was like, that's the loudest thing I've ever heard. I'm like, is that not how you wake up in the morning? - Oh, I knew Lenore wasn't fucking with that alarm. - She thought we were under attack. - Yeah. - Every morning you put it on? - I set it to 9 a.m., so I sleep like a teenager. If I don't set it at 9 a.m., I'm sleeping, babe. - Wait, that's crazy, Hannah. - The day's over. - The day's over. - The natural body clock. In the morning, you're not waking up naturally before, what? - No, no, no. Well, also, I am, if I'm adabbling in the dark arts, a.k.a. majong at 2 a.m. - Which I do. - Like, I love to go to bed and be like, just so funny. - I'm like, I like to start my night. Like, I tell dozen, like, the night's about to start for me at midnight. - Time to brush up on my new skill. - Yeah, okay. - Yeah, I get to sleep forever. - I'm naturally waking up at like 7 a.m., no matter what. I like, there can be, like, sunlight going through my eyelid and I won't wake up. I could have lowest point to me in the face and I won't be awake, yeah. Like, no one ever cares to be quiet. I want him asleep 'cause I know I sleep through it. Oh, no, we're frozen. - Hello. - It's insane. - Hello. - I actually just broke up that whole time and I tried to, like, act like you did in, but you're frozen. - Oh, okay, we're back. We're back. Okay, we're back. Thank you guys for getting with us. We love you so much and have an amazing weekend. - See ya. - Bye. (upbeat music)