Giggling about hot dogs, hyrox, and camel toes

what's up gigglers gary fix the wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed i mean the day just got away from me um thank you wait i just thank you for giggling i just started with the end perfect perfect this is great um you guys we're doing the opposite of what we did last episode we're now recording at 9 30 p.m we both had a day we're smoking imaginary cigarettes i'm like i feel drunk you always do this when you go out and socialize you like no i was out and about chatty kathy you get like high just from the streets look the streets keep me going the streets is where i feel alive yeah like if you had a drinking problem it'd be scary don't you think because i'm just high on life right now no i was you would have hated me i was bopping around but i was controlled like for example i was at this event for david and the knicks and they were like giving money to kids from brooklyn who have like um play basketball and they like played a game but of course i got too passionate in it and i was like yelling at the kids i was like what is that defense anyway i didn't have to say just saint jude hannah t is so comfortable and i'm wearing it right now and i love it um so yeah i just went to an event without you you're supposed to come with me i showed up alone the best thing about that too is whenever i go somewhere without you people are go where's page i go hi hi i'm hannah i'm trying my best here i know my other half isn't here did you meet emmy rossum i have too much respect for emmy rossum yeah it was one of those like okay i'll acknowledge her with a drive-by but i fully committed like i'm just gonna keep walking but as i made eye contact we had a little moment where i think i think she wanted to talk to me but i'm also delusional okay well can i give you a little tidbit of information i asked her to come on in bed with page to sorbo but her schedule was not we were not aligning the old schedule excuse no sweat off my back like i've so many people to come on in bed with page to sorbo that have been like can't no kim to sorbo kim was like if you ask me one more time i swear to god and i'm like i never give it a second thought i'm like totally like does it like i'm not ever gonna try and bug you like you said no like awesome she said that she felt so badly that she asked for my address to send me like like i'm so sorry that i couldn't like come and do it and i was like that's so nice okay so she's an angel walking on this earth see she's an angel her aura like she she's gorgeous like her aura was so crazy that i was like i don't want to inflict any of my messy energy onto her right now so i committed to like i'm not gonna try to talk to her but then as i committed she kind of looked at me like i know you and then but i'm like i mean i already committed to not talking to you and respecting your space so that was my story with emmy awesome and then this like older guy like complimented my outfit and you know i love talking to an older man and we're chatting chatting chatting he's hilarious he's funny he's new york love it well he walks away someone goes that's david yearman wait he's the most adorable new yorker me and him are like besties now everyone working there was like you just chatted with david yearman for 40 minutes and i was like that's my best friend also wait i was just gonna say he's like i just looked it up he's 83 is he 83 he is he has a pep in his step wait do you know that martha stewart's 85 did she post on instagram should i post my nudes or was that ai no i think that was her obsessed with her oh my god i'm so obsessed with her um okay how are you oh let's get into it yeah i'm sitting at this basketball david yearman event and this guy's next to me which i i talked to david yearman people i said never again i can't be sitting next to a man yeah you talked to one already i know he said by the way my girlfriend is a giggler and i said good you she has she has good taste and he said i do have to say he's like i used to listen to part of my take which is a sports podcast and i go so is mine continue i said yeah i know about sports past have you heard about the number one podcast that he switched over to giggly squad page page he goes she listens to it every morning and i'm like i'm obsessed with her and he goes i at first i didn't get it he's like so they don't do segments and she's like no and he's like then how do they know what they're going to talk about and she's like you don't get it okay uh ever had a conversation before buddy you don't have a powerpoint in a normal conversation um and he was like then you guys look really funny like just for girls he was like so i was part of my tape but now i also listen to giggly squad and i was like okay well at least you like sports podcasts that's all we've learned from today this is how much like i'm not in i've never heard i've never heard a single human say the phrase pardon my take it's crazy algorithmically how it controls our lives like des will say something or i'll see something and he's like yeah that happened in the news last week i'm like well it just became a meme and just hit my algorithm so that's how i get my news i don't see it until comics are making fun of it that's when it hits me also i just have to say page goes we both look like we're in a swedish prison i said excuse me what where did you get that reference how many swedish prisons have you been in what are you like i feel like i have this like memory where like i don't know where i watched this documentary about like prisons in i don't even know if it was norway one of the like one of them and it was it was very ikea it was nice no it was nice it was like wait that it's giving nicer than my college dorm room for sure yeah i was just about to be like wait that is so much nicer than my first apartment in new york city you go is that white oak that's white oak i'm like so the chair is connected to the desk which yeah that makes that makes all the sense in the world ikea low-key slaps ikea swedish i'm obsessed obsessed with the danes which isn't swedish but it's like in the same area i'm just like i'm dying to talk about chloe for her yeah for her to post the first the first slide the third slide the eighth slide the tenth slide and then write bff in capital letters at first i was like wow this is then i said wait a second she's coming from my throat she sent me white white roses to my room and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like with a card that said no we really are best friends i'm gonna i haven't sent you the picture of it yet because you knew it was gonna you know i was busy tonight and i couldn't emotionally handle it with the rubber bands i didn't even comment wait because i couldn't figure out the right thing to say in the comments that wasn't too jealous but wasn't too nice can i tell you something i was looking at her at one point and i go and in my head i was like hannah could be this hair color well then people were tagging me they're like oh we thought this was you i'm like and it's not no and i hate to come on the pod and like every time we meet a celebrity be like no seriously like they're so nice and they're just like a girl's girl like but truly now that i'm like collecting kardashians like goddamn infinity stones like no true pokemon infinity did you just say infinity she's playing pokemon go baby i was on the phone my mom and i was like i like what is happening to me chloe is of a different caliber like i genuinely don't think i've ever seen someone have an aura the way she does and here's how i can describe it she gives like i don't even want to say maternal because it's not like she's old enough to be my mother like she's in her i don't even actually know how old chloe is like in her late 30s she's ageless yeah she's like ageless yeah but you know when you're little i feel like every little kid randomly one day you just like say to your mom like if i had another mom like this is who it would be did you ever like like did you ever say to your mom like oh like i really like that mom like i would like i would okay never mind so i was traumatizing my mom at home you saw one mom with a nice cashmere sweater and you said i want her to be my mom you saw another mom in a good outfit that's what you're talking about you're sick you're sick no i never was like i want a different mom you crazy um one time a mom walked into school with a purple halter top and purple mini shorts i'll never forget it his the kid was in my class his name was nick berg he was so nice his mom was stunning and when she came to lunch i literally would go home that day and be like mom nick berg's mom is stepping it up you want chloe kardashian to to birth you no like i I just feel like if I was ever in a room and something bad was happening, I would run to Chloe. Like, she gives this, like, very soft, lovely aura. Like, I can't explain it. She's just so lovely. Like, that's the only word I can say. She's extremely funny. She's very funny. I think people who are really funny, like you, are actually really smart. Thank you. And I think she actually is really wise. Yes. And I think she's been through a lot. And you know why I was jealous, too? Because I'm like, I knew you really liked her. Yeah. Like, I knew it wasn't fake. Yeah. That's how I felt about Hailey. I was like, Hannah would, like, legit go to dinner with her, and that's pissing me off. No, no, no. It's pissing me off. And Chloe would hate this, because Chloe's, like, really glamorous. But, like, of the Kardashians. Uh-huh. Chloe's Hannah-coded. Chloe's a little Hannah-coded, because I feel like she's not afraid to be like, I will shit my pants, like, if I don't walk away right now. Of the Kardashians, she's Hannah-coded. In general life, she's Paige-coded. And that's layers that, like, only you guys will understand. So deep. That's, like, so deep. That was so deep. She's a Paige-son, Hannah-moon rising. Wait, something's been really stressing me out recently, and I don't know why it keeps popping into my head. What the hell are we going to be for Halloween? It's crazy you thought of that, because I, today, was like, do we do, like, a couple costumes? Do we do a couple costumes? I think we've been wanting to. I think we do a photo shoot. Do you think we had a telepathic moment? Yeah. Because I was thinking, like, why don't we just, like, one day get some glam, do a funny shoot, and do a Halloween thing? Well, we famously, last Halloween, let's say Halloween was Friday, Wednesday, we got our photos taken, babe. We were good. Yeah. And I know that might sound sad to some people, but when you're 35. Yeah. You have to do it for the cats. Wait, do you know how old I am? I'm watching the basketball game with these, like, 13-year-olds running around, and one of them gets, like, fouled really hard and hit to the ground, and he pops right back up, and I'm like, I would have been out for three weeks. When did I become my father? No, truly, you're your grandpa. I'm literally an old man. Also, I have an Invisalign update. Okay. I told you that I didn't want to go on this journey. And you know what? And I told you I respected your boundaries, and I don't. Okay. So I'm on the plane. Mm-hmm. Great. Obviously, I wanted to have some mustard pretzels at 11 a.m., as I do. Mm-hmm. Sometimes I get ginger ale, sometimes I get orange juice, depends. No one asked, but I'm just letting you guys know. I always get ginger ale on the plane. What is it about a plane that I'm like, I will chug three cups of ginger ale on a plane. Wait, and they never have Canada Dry, and Canada Dry is my favorite one. Do you think it's because we think it's good for our stomach, and we don't want to be bloated? I think that's what it is. All I want is an iced tea. Like, God forbid there's an iced tea, but. Don't get me started on airlines. So anyway, I have my little mustard whatever. Yeah. But I have to take out my Invisalign, put them in my lap, which I don't want to do. I don't want to do that. Obviously, not a good idea. Forget they're in my lap. So like 30 minutes later, I'm like, where's my Invisalign? What's my name? What planet am I on? Then I look down. Only have one of the trays. Of course. So I put that tray in, and then I'm like, we got to find the other tray. Obviously, this tray, I don't know if I was dancing. It was kicked, like, to the floor. So it's on the floor. And then I had that vulnerable moment. I said. Do we just put it back in my mouth? But I'm grown. You didn't. Yeah. I'm 35 years old at this point. You're grown. I'm grown. I said, don't. I put it in my pocket, and I said, we'll wait for the guy next to me to get up, and then I'll go. He got up. I got to the bathroom. I put soap in it like an adult. But then there was, like, no water pressure to, like, get the soap off it. Wait. This is not where I thought this story was going at. Not at all. Where did you think it was going? It didn't cross my mind that you were going. That you legit got. Why didn't you just put hand sanitizer on it for, like, crying out loud? Putting real soap? Did you just say for crying out loud? For crying out loud! I tried to stop myself, but I was too deep in it. And I just had to keep going. You started. You couldn't. You had to finish it. No, I don't. I thought you were going to. You had to wait until you got home. Can't you, like, die from putting hand sanitizer in your mouth? It's for hands. Yeah, but you. I don't like alcohol. You basically did that with the soap. Well, that's the problem. I put the soap in, and then it, like. In my head, when I'm in the bathroom, everyone's waiting. Like, there's, like, a line out the door. Wait. So I'm rushing. I'm, like, I'm rushing. Every second I'm in there, I'm, like, they think I'm shitting my brains out. That's a universal experience. It has to be. Because I feel the same way. I try to go as fast as I can. And then when I get out, I'm, like, see, I barely have a pussy. Sometimes I'm, like, I didn't even fully pee. I didn't go to the bathroom. I'm, like, wait. I, like, got up too fast. Do you ever go to wipe yourself, and, like, you're actually still peeing, and you're, like, wait, am I stupid? No, that's never happened to me, actually. Wait. And maybe that's why you have UTIs every fucking week, you freak. Yeah, because I try and go so fast. I'm so busy. Anyway, I waterboard it, but, like, there's no pressure, so it's just, like, trickling on, and I have tons of soap on it, and I'm, like, I don't have fucking time for this. There's people waiting. So I put it back in my mouth. What did I tell you? This is so gross. I thought I murdered myself. Like, I was, like, I can handle a little soap. It was the most disgusting. I was, like, I go. And, like, airplane soap? You're a sick fuck. No. I don't know what was in that. So then I take it out again, and I'm putting water in my mouth. It's chaotic at this point. Open the door. No one's waiting. No one's waiting. But also, I'm, like, was it worth it to be cleanly? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Because it's, like, what's worse, the germs on the ground or the toxins in that soap? The chicken or the egg? Also, in the back of my head, I always think you're strengthening your immune system. Your immune system. Yeah. I always think, what would Hannah's grandpa do? Do not bring Jerry into this. Sorry. No, I was just going to say, have you seen? I wrote it down for last week, and I never talked about it. But have you seen the new iPhone? Every time I blink, there's a new iPhone. I can't keep up. I can't keep up. It folds, but, like. Like a Motorola? It folds? Are you sure it's not a Samsung? Do you know when we talk? This just made me think of it. I don't know why. A Motorola? Do you know that when we talked about the girl shitting, and we said, like, a tough mutter, I thought that was, like, an old video. I didn't realize it was, like, a new thing, and it's, like, some new workout. I'm so happy you brought this up, because I was unaware of all this, and then it was all over my feed. All over. What she did was fucked up. No way. That was crazy that I was trying to defend. That was fucked. And let me put that on the record. I'm telling you, it was fucked up. Let me make a statement. Someone, like, commented and was like, it's so Paige to call it a tough mutter. And I was like, what the hell is a high rocks? Again, that's a word I've never heard anyone say in my life. But a lot of people knew what it was. I know. But that's never come across my desk. So many people in New York City were, like, making videos. Like, last time, like, I did a high. I'm like, were you all running home and just, like, learning about high rocks? Also, part of me is like, why have I never once even been invited to a high rocks? I guess the people know. It also sounds like a freaky, weird club. Yeah. They do weird drugs. A naughty club. It sounds like a druggy club. Are you going to high rocks? Like, let's go to high rocks. I mean, high rocks is, like, up until late. It seems like a club, but in the early 2000s. Yeah. Yeah. You know? I thought they were just running on their own. I'm like, okay. She shot herself. Like, it happens to the best of us, including me and you. They're, like, all using the same machines. It's like a circuit. That's an immediate. That's an immediate penalty. That's an immediate, let's get a helicopter in, take her out. I thought whenever there was a circuit, it was automatically a Tough Mudder. You just love saying Tough Mudder. But, no, Tough Mudder, there's a circuit, but they're not sharing all the stuff. High rocks, are we sure that's not how COVID started? Yeah. It's so unsanitary. If a man, like, looks at a machine, I don't want to go on it. Remember, there was, like, discourse, like, a couple months ago about, like, if you wash your own machines, does the, does the, wherever the workout class you go to, should they wash the machines for you? Either way, they're dirty as fuck. That little spray bottle and, like, one paper towel, that's not doing shit. Yeah. But this is, like, on, this is obviously on a different level. When someone's watching you wash the machine, that gives me so much anxiety. So much anxiety. Like, suddenly I forget, like, how my hands work. To clean anything. I'm like, should I just wipe it down? wiping it down with a dry paper towel also like when i'm on a treadmill i'm like i don't have to wash like where i ran right like we're good on that think back to a specific moment when your fear felt really intense what was going through your mind did you know it was ocd at the time for a lot of people millions of people that's not just anxiety that's ocd and most of them have no idea and it's not the organizing stereotype real ocd is persistent unwanted intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character along with mental or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief even when it never actually comes these thoughts can feel very real which is what makes it so upsetting ocd is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy it needs erp exposure and response prevention therapy proven to be the most effective treatment no cd is the leading provider of ocd treatments covered by insurance for over 138 million americans licensed therapists specialize in erp therapy in live face-to-face virtual sessions with support between sessions so you're never facing ocd alone if you're struggling with ocd or unrelenting intrusive thoughts no cd can help book a free 15-minute call to get started at no cd.com wait can i say something one more thing about chloe yeah who i love and i'm like i'm processing all of it it just was like initial shock the post for me um she normalized camel toes yeah and like that that's historical that's feminism like when chloe was just like joking about her camel toe i thought that was the coolest thing ever it's equivalent to us in a nipple hair yes but do you know how hard that was for her to just talk about her camel toe like at a time when it wasn't the kardashians weren't like that rowdy you know like one day someone's gonna take like snippets of this podcast for some type of study and the thought of it being like and she talked about camel toes at a time also side note yeah page you want to tell them our update our admin update that we're serious girls that we're so serious from now on we are serious for the next four years but don't worry because you're going to be able to watch your podcast where you typically watch it and listen to your podcast where you typically watch it literally nothing's changing nothing's changing that was our our one note that we were like the only note not a single not a single thing is changing other than like more people are gonna get to know grace and respect her other than that nothing wait some girl posted on tiktok like just the screenshot of it she got like a notification on her pinterest like page the sorbo started a new pinterest board pixie cut and i was scrolling and i thought hannah i commented and i go this is the equivalent of you literally i invited you over for a sleepover you read my diary and then you stood up in front of the class monday morning and said page has a crush on whoever like wait so you did create it and you didn't make it private i forgot i didn't like i wasn't thinking i was no i i know i wouldn't it was just like enjoying my leisure time and i just like and then she she put you on blast she put me she put you on blast i literally as i was scrolling i go it's like oh my god this is my pinterest part and then i went to pinterest because i got so anxious because i was like i have some crazy boards on there that like are private thank god but i'm like oh my gosh like sometimes like i have a board that's just about like ways i want you to post me to pose i have a board of who i wish you were like i have a board for like if we ever do a photo shoot wait also can we just talk about how we were about like putting out a statement that we're with sirius and it took us 48 hours to find a photo of the two of us that both like i kept seeing photos being pitched and i'm like what was wrong with the last 80 photos but i also didn't like them oh you're the problem we also like not to be like we're so west friends but like we don't have tons of photos together considering we have none and the ones we do we were like forced to take it yeah that's what i'm saying we have like work photo we have like work event photos it's literally just us at co-worker events being like smile and then the last four months no no photos good we have yeah what's been going on the last four months i can't smile wait i genuinely wait i literally forgot it's looking it's looking really good it's looking really good no it's definitely getting better stop stop so anyway chloe's camel toe i think about more than i should oh my god i wasn't recording you know what's crazy i actually wasn't recording the first like three minutes but it's okay press play now she'll use the audio grace is gonna kill me it was actually grace it was grace's fault because she talked to you about the volume yes and so when i went to press record i didn't and i looked at the volume that's what i did too i changed the volume and press record wow that was really crazy how we gaslit grace and turned it around on her to be her fault it's grace just tried to do her job we go typical grace trying to sabotage us again on the podcast literally just gaslit the fuck out of grace lied about it all and then was like you're crazy wait but this is why three-way friendships don't work you guys just watched it because literally two people turn on the other ones way too easy way too that was so quick by the way grace is just listening on me right now like she's like i'm not dealing with them wait can we talk about reality tv for a second okay i'm like back in my reality tv watching like i watched the entire real housewives of london oh you love london is it good it is so fucking good i'm like so confused that it's not it's not on like regular bravo program programming it's like it's like on peacock it was like on whatever is in england it's so good that i i like watched the reunion and i feel like sometimes i like skip a reunion if i like don't really care then i've been watching next gen nyc no i'm obsessed i'm so obsessed with it i just think it's like such a good drama that like i don't know if it's because i see them as like a lot younger than me that i'm like this is amazing drama but i just feel like the girls specifically are so just mature and the way they talk to each other about things i'm just like oh my god i i did not talk like this when i was like 23 years old and i'm just i like i'm obsessed with it and if you haven't watched it's so good can i say something controversial yeah of course i think like watching people fight in their 20s is funny yes and watching people fight who are like old yeah is also funny yes but there's like a middle age fighting where it starts to get a little too real yeah almost i don't want to say the word sad but you're just kind of like it's dark life is life in life is life but like when you're young or old you're like this is fucking hilarious yes because it's either you haven't experienced enough or you've experienced too much too much we're like in the middle get it together like just like even put on an act that maybe you have it together drinking when you're drinking a lot in your 20s hilarious when you're drinking a lot when you're old also hilarious when you're drinking too much in your 40s people are like you have to talk to somebody this is affecting your like family call your family you've lost your job you've lost your loved ones oh god well i am the correspondent of dancing with the stars on gig and let's talk about it let's really yeah the reason i am is by the way i'm this is only the second time i've ever watched it but i have people around me giving me my sources first of all hailey was a dancer her whole life so she like tells me the tea and then desmond my husband famously was on dancing with the stars and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm the stars ireland you should google it maybe we'll put a photo in the newsletter so he like knows the inner workings do you remember the one time we were having dinner and desmond just watched the entire his entire performance of cha-cha his cha-cha um sierra made it through the first round thank the lord they had her do this well she did this like emotional beautiful yeah like gown it was actually a really hard dance i thought she fucking crushed it one of the judges started crying it's yeah it's one of those things where like you're like oh i would never cry on a reality show and then i think when you're in it it's so it's so intense and they're working their butts off and the nerves they must be dealing with like it's scary like oh i would crumble honey i would crumble crumble like a cookie protect alvama and for people who have been in my dms saying hannah why don't you and page go dancing with the stars i will speak my side yeah first of all yes would love to dance in with the stars here are the problems that i'm open to arguing with people about but these are my problems if you're a girl you have to either be able to do the splits be thrown around or be able to throw the guy around okay i'm too sturdy i'm not being thrown around right but i'm also not fit enough to like do anything else and i'm not flexible so if i'm not flexible and i can't be thrown around what am i bringing to the table here somebody asked me why don't you do it and i was like if one year they change the rules and you competed as foursomes then i would do it wait why did i just have a just doing like hot cross buns like but i'm like i'm not going in a room for eight hours a day with a straight man and like listening to him telling me what to do and practice here's the other thing i you'd be with ezra who's a former mormon king he's gay yes i will always support my friends and of course i turned on dancing with the stars to watch my friend sierra and of course i'm going to post that you must vote for her and i'm going to vote for her every single week and you could vote 10 times i'm gonna be so insanely honest right now as soon as sierra was done with her performance and i listened to the judges i clicked right off that stage i you did what you needed to i did what i needed to do and i feel good about it i don't know if it gives too much broadway for me no it's way too much musical because i like watching dancing videos like i love watching like the lsu dance team at a goddamn dance competition i love watching like cheerleading competitions but there's something about when someone's gotta give a little like i share me a little shimmy like i just i can't do it and i'm gonna say one other thing I find some of the judges super annoying they need to have a Simon Cowell and they don't right now yeah because the woman who used to be mean is like trying to be nice but it's like I want her to just lean into being like hellish like just be like the meanest person ever and we'll all grow from it yeah like the Gen Z's will learn it'll actually be good for it oh do you think that's why there isn't a mean one do you that because it i think that she was getting hate online that she was being too mean so she tries to like sugarcoat things now but then it's like doesn't work i'm like just fucking tell them just it's like we were raised by simon cowell that's how we got so strong has there only always only been three judges i think they'll have guest judges sometimes the reason i could see you one day maybe doing it is that you just wanted the outfit you love the outfit you you have the vision there are but then there's some bad outfits there's a little too many sparkles happening what are the lengths i have to go for a good outfit like i don't feel as though i need to put my butt and i respect that i did see the next dancer and it was jada i think was like the one i saw and she was so cute okay then and she almost had a heart attack you know so like at what cost at what cost and that would be me someone also was like would you guys do traders and i was like only if we were a team like imagine us not a team on the traders immediately yeah dude i'm telling you the minute i get in there i'm like literally fake hello i'm like i'm a trader here's why i i love when people like put us in different situations and i i love saying why i would not do something here's why i would not do the traders you're not taking my phone that sounds peaceful though taking my computer my ipad when i get to my room at night you what do you want me to do stare at the ceiling twiddle my thumbs like i can't watch my shows on my ipad like no i'm not going for two weeks if i can't bring my ipad that's insane it's 2026 i'm 33 years old also like if you can't call your mom like how are you making decisions also get a fucking grip everyone on this show has been on a another show if you say the rules are you can't talk to other people like be an adult don't talk to other people about the show like uh like i can't believe they have to put those rules in place so that people follow the rules my one note with the traders is i don't understand what the physical like contest like anything to do with the show like they have nothing to do with the show they're like you're a trader okay now we're gonna do jump into a lake for no fucking reason quick question here guys what's the plot of this show i go wait why why are we why are we jumping out of a plane right now there's no reason to jump out of a plane traders feels like it is a show that was like created by people like us like there was someone that was like okay my friend will host and wear like fabulous outfits because that's what she likes their other part was like and then we'll do like these fun games and then like we'll stay at this castle like yeah yeah and we'll let his dog follow him around yeah is there a dog running around actually right when you said that a dog jumped off the bed no can i just tell you that i heard something earlier today and i like yelled for the dog because like my worst fear is that like the dog has just like had enough of kitty and like truly just takes her out and i heard something and i yelled for the dog and the dog came running in and kitty came running in behind him just just hitting it to the point where i had to yell kitty stop being mean to the dog she's just beating his little because like in my brain kitty also calls him the dog oh for sure i mean i cannot wait for your next pet psychic appointment the shit she's gonna talk oh it's in october i love how they make you wait wait did i tell you that one night i was on tiktok and it was the same pet psychic that takes six months to get an appointment with and i booked an appointment six months ago okay and that's when it's real october 14th her name is lauren bode b-o-d-e i don't know just literally i saw like four tiktoks about it and i was like yeah i'll make an appointment but also that's great business like even if you have no clients be like i'm all full for the next four months and people be like i'll i'll wait i'll wait if other people are waiting no i was like what do what do i have to rush for that's genius speaking of cats and dogs so i was like trying to come up with like different like different ideas for like daphne photo shoots and like we're doing like our holiday campaign and like one of my ideas involved that like i needed a black cat so i was like how am i gonna like get like like a black cat for like this like idea i envision i'm like thinking about it and i'm like oh well i'm gonna get a black cat oh well like i guess i could just like cast a black cat but then i was like you know how like people do those like look-alike contests in washington square park i was like what if i did like a kitty look-alike contest but a black version of daphne oh so like a fluffy black version of daphne yes that's what i need for this like one idea i want to execute you can cast them like there's working actors i know there's working cats working cats which butter would never but it would never be a working cat daphne's is daphne's a working cat not really though because she just yeah no she's the working cat other cats talk shit about daphne's career they're like she got that brand deal again wow but i don't think she's like legally a working cat is she sag i don't think she has an agent no she's an agent no like i take all her money like i'm an influencer mom this is like who they make laws about wait someone needs to make a law against you you just admit on the body you take all our money that's crazy does she know that are you doing it behind her back i'm doing it behind her back i'm doing it right in front of her face because she can't read well i went to this place called sobi cats yeah page i almost took them all home i know like it was i actually got to the point where i brought it up to my husband i said there's a cat named genevieve who i had a real soul connection with and he's like i'm gonna stop you right there and i was like like i wake up in the morning i think about genevieve and i stop what kind of cat she looks just like butter she looks just like butter so you definitely can't bring her home i do have something kind of serious to bring up do you think not usually gray poupon yeah gray poupon i'm listening thinks it's better than other mustards because it is why is it called gray poupon and everything else is like yellow mustard you know i actually am more of a french's girl gray poupon i feel like is like you have to have a mini pickle you have to also be you have to also be serving mini pickles if you're serving gray poupon there's an argument like i don't want gray poupon on my hot dog no i don't either but a lot of people put it on there like a spicy mustard i don't want to i don't want to see a seed anywhere near my hot dog i don't want to see anything referring to a vegetable wait do you want to hear something really funny the other day my brother came over and he opened my refrigerator and he looked at me and he goes were you craving hot dogs because i had hot dogs in the refrigerator and i go yeah actually i was like i like was gonna just like fry a hot dog in a pan the other day and he goes that's so weird i bought hot dogs the other day because i was craving i feel like if you went to college you always have hot dogs in your fridge like you never know when you need to have a hot dog i eat hot dogs all year round wait me too i you never it's like okay and you could also do like spaghetti carbonara but instead of bacon you put hot dogs that was crazy i just made that up actually do you know what's even more crazy what i don't fry it what do you do you boil it no i take a you've been in the microwave i put it in the microwave you nuke it i nuke it yeah for like 60 seconds put a little cut and i also don't even put it on a plate i put it on a paper towel here i'm fucking crazy this is when my husband's gone this is what i do when my husband's out of the house she takes a retainer off the floor she puts it right in her mouth she's making hot dogs in the microwave i didn't say hot dogs are so fucking good they're so good and i'm always just randomly having like a hankering for a hot dog if i don't have a hot dog every like i would say i crave a hot dog every three months hankering for a hot dog is your next title of your biography if i did stand-up specials one of them would be hankering for a hot dog and it'd be like my sexual one your dirty one when you get naughty that'd be for my naughty one okay i have like a scripted show that i'm obsessed with tell you never have a scripted show you're obsessed never never so i think i also try to find shows that like you can watch with a man if you have to yeah like but it's really hard no and it's also just stupid shout out to apple for putting out the best shows yeah like the quality but the funny thing with apple shows i feel like the first season never gets respect in the second season everyone's like oh wait severance is genius or like okay silo's amazing dark matter okay what's it about oh my god i don't want to say sci-fi because then i'm scared but it's like about don't get just don't snarl don't snarl at me sci-fi to what okay so it's like it's actually really romantic and it's like philosophical about life okay and how if you made a different decision where would you be in your life and it has these like realms of like this guy who decided either to stay with his girlfriend or to leave her and like commit to his career and it shows like what the world would have been like if he if he made that little decision when he was younger and it just makes you question like all the little decisions you make and then i kind of joked at like i don't need this page the realm we're in right now is crazy because then they go into different realms like you could leave and see yourself if you had made other decisions and like i feel like instagram is like one update on that away from that no like truly it does just make you think about how our lives could be so many different things yeah but sometimes based on the small soul thing like you deciding to go to school to a certain place or you it's kind of like the burnt toast theory but like even bigger that's why i really think that like especially for women like there is no timeline for your life like that is like a made-up thing that we've like people have truly made up like there's women all over like having babies that like in their late 30s early 40s like women going back to school in their 50s like there's no like you can change your life at any time do you know most of the emmy nominated women were like in their 40s and 50s really yeah yeah which is so interesting but also um makes sense because they're the best at their craft right like and no matter what part of your life you're in like it's not always going to be like this you know like isn't that a health moment isn't that like crazy to think of and that's like good and bad but it's funny in these worlds you saw like a world where she did what she loved as a painter and had like a big um gallery of her own then you see her as like just a mom and there's this crazy moment i want to give my thing away but he meets her in one of the worlds and she goes am i happy in the other world and he's like that's exactly what you asked in the other world so it kind of shows how like you're still yourself in your heart even if you like might end up in different situations um and about regret it's very fascinating dark matter i highly recommend people watch you have me intrigued any hot people in it oh okay that's what i'm gonna say they're very hot well the guy is like he's a he's like old hot like he's australian yes that does give a sort of rugged hot so rugged but he's australian speaking in an american accent okay so he's versatile so he's talented dark matter cast is it okay and the star is jennifer connelly yes yes who is by the way like wait we don't talk about how beautiful she is you can't look away from her she's mesmerizing i'm not even saying this because you just said that but sometimes people say i look like her but i'm not saying that because you just said oh my god she's so beautiful i think it's because you both have like good bone structure i feel like i like randomly will get people like in my dms her and winona rider are two of the most random people that i'll get that like i randomly look like winona rider pulls off a good pixie coat and she's like oh my god she's so beautiful she's so beautiful she's so beautiful i knew you were gonna say that well i let you kind of just like tell your story and then i let are we gonna discuss like what's going on with my pixie cat your unborn pixie cut my uncut pixie that sounds like real like i didn't get circumcised i'm like are you gonna circumcise your hair or not here's the thing it's actually you kind of nailed it last week or whenever you said this it's exactly like getting a cat i just started thinking about it which means this won't happen for like two years yeah yeah i know how you work but guys the seeds are planted i'm so excited it's in my head like i think it really is gonna happen right before an italy trip is like when it will happen so that i can like test it out when i'm there but it's not for a while and then zendaya walked out with her pixie well that's a different kind of pixie i can't i'm not i can't do that that's insane i think you'll get there eventually if you like in another in another realm in another realm you have a pixie cut and yeah you're going to a bar called i mean a club named roxy what's it called noxy high rocks high hydrox hydrox hydroxy cut how fucked up was hydroxy cut that was a crazy time wait i feel like jersey shore cast members like endorsed i feel like i remember like a commercial of like hydroxy cut and it was just like ron you know like hydroxy cut is so mad at ozempic right now they're like warning they're livid i had a high thought even though i wasn't high and it was why aren't there more you know they make songs about like heartbreak and they make songs about like love like what do they make songs about like being hot i don't know i'm like why don't they make more songs about like cleaning or like songs about like things when you're listening to music you need like about getting up in the morning like let's wake up let's get up girl we gotta we gotta get up yeah like why is it always just about like give me what it's like let's let's clean this thing let's clean yeah we're cleaning getting fresh but you want a kid's bop for adults yes yeah yeah yes i get what you're saying like because you're ever like cleaning and you're like i don't need to be like listening about heartbreak right now give me some motivation to clean yeah like sometimes i'll be like unloading the dishwasher and i'm like i don't need future blasting in my ear like the most disgusting things he's ever done to a woman you know like like sometimes i get like you want like just like something nice something sweet but you want to revert back to like sing-alongs where like it was it was like things that you got done when you were like a child like there were clean up sing-alongs i love that hey yeah we're getting stuff done today girl girl we're getting it done yeah yeah i get that getting it getting it done yeah i mean maybe that's my next calling you want there to be some type of like miss rachel yeah like you know when you like do not you're like i do not want to wake up in the morning if only i had like a song that and it wasn't like misogynistic rap to get me pumped up i don't ever think that no the day the day isn't ready for you girl the day is about to be crazy girl do you have a hatch you can do this girl no okay the hatch alarm clock like basically does that like you can pick difference you can pick different things like that like you can pick different things like that like you can pick different songs but i know what you mean you want it like on your spotify that like when you're doing mundane tasks you have like a sing-along to do it too i have two crazy questions one does your parents wake up with an alarm clock at what age do you stop needing an alarm clock because i've never met a grown-ass adult with an alarm clock okay well i'm convinced my dad has never met a grown-ass adult with an alarm clock okay well i'm convinced my dad has never met a gone to sleep a day in his life like i've you know like i feel like my dad just perpetually resting his eyes like he's never actually fallen asleep but he's always kind of asleep yeah like like past 8 p.m he's dead cold out like he's but he's never really asleep my dad's also like again like he doesn't have an email like he doesn't like he doesn't know certain social cues like no like i don't think he's ever used an alarm clock kim on the other hand probably only for things that are before 6 a.m yeah which makes other than that i'd say no my dad has this weird thing where he says he can set it in his head and it works and he'll do it for like very important things like a 5 a.m wake up for like a meeting he'll be like i'll wake up and low-key it's just lenore like lightly waiting for him to wake up and he'll be like i'll wake up and he'll be like i'll wake up and he'll be like i'll wake up and he'll be like i'll wake up and he'll be like i'll wake him up he goes for some reason i just always wake up at the right time also because my mom was sleeping with me the other night oh sorry my internet was bad my mom was sleeping with me and my alarm went off in the morning and she was like what the fuck is that she was like that's the loudest thing i've ever heard i'm like is that not how you wake up in the morning oh i knew lenore wasn't fucking with an alarm she thought we were under attack yeah every morning you put it on i set it to 9 a.m so i sleep like a teenager if i don't set it at 9 a.m i'm sleeping babe wait that's crazy hannah your natural body clock in the morning you're not ever not you're not waking up naturally before what no no no well also i am if i'm dabbling in the dark arts aka mahjong at 2 a.m you wish i do like i love to go to bed i'm like i like to start my night like i tell des i'm like the night's about to start for me at midnight time to brush up on my new skill yeah um okay oh yeah i could sleep forever i'm naturally waking up at like 7 7 a.m no matter what i like there can be like sunlight going through my eyelid and i won't wake up i could have lois punching me in the face and i won't be awake yeah like no one ever cares to like be quiet when i'm asleep because i know i sleep through it oh no we're frozen hello that's insane hello you actually just broke up that whole time and i tried to like act like you didn't but you're frozen oh okay we're back we're back okay we're back uh thank you guys for we love you so much and have an amazing weekend see ya bye