Giggling about fashion week, think tanks, and per se

(upbeat music) - Sup, Giggler? - Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. - Man, if I touch it, we can't be manners. (laughing) (upbeat music) - I'm in the day, just got away from me. - Hello, my Glitzy Giggler's. It's Fashion Week. It's fashion. Wait, let me get my shades on. It's Fashion Week. - It's too much. Hannah's got me up at 8.30 a.m. I just opened my eyes. - I do have to say, the reason I'm so awake is woke up to Humble Bragg, named Drop, voice message from Chelsea Handler. Did not realize I was going to the USO, but what? (laughing) - Hannah calls me in a tizzy. She's like, wait, I don't remember how the text went. - I somehow miscommunicated with Chelsea Handler that we're going to the USO, and she's like, I'll see you tomorrow, I'll pick you up at 3. - You know, we don't talk about enough on this pod? That I miscommunicate with everyone? - That you just like flex on us randomly? - Well, I'm feeling a little insecure because you've been hanging out with Kendall Jenner all week, so like, I had a plug. I had to do a plug. - I met her for two and a half minutes. - Yeah, but the way she looked at you, I didn't like that. - She loved you. She literally was like, oh, that's my girl. - We didn't talk about it, 'cause she is Brunette. - Yeah, she knows she loved you. - And it's like when you hang out with people, you're hanging out with blondes. - It's kind of like when you have a hot boyfriend, like I want girls to look at him, like he's hot. Like I want other girls to want to be friends with you, but I just want them to not put in the time and effort. - Right. - Anywho, oh yeah, so somehow you guys, I'm going to the USO, tonight with my mom. - What are you wearing, doll? I didn't go to the, this is the first time, in 10 years I haven't gone to the USO, been. - In 10 years? - Yeah, I've gone every year for like 10 years. - Oh my God, and you just learned the rules last year. - You know, you want to know it in 10 years, what are you waiting? Do you want to know something? And this happens at every sporting event in my life, because then I sat down and I thought about it, and I'm like, why is it impossible for me to retain this information? - Because you don't care. - Every year, the Super Bowl comes, or like some play off games come, that people are like, big game, we're going, we're doing a party, or we're going somewhere, get an outfit, and every year I relearn the rules of football, and I think, I got this, this is easy. - Not to defend you, but you have so many algorithms in your head for outfits you're putting together for the event, and by the time you get there, you're burnt. You have nothing left to get. - I have to go to the Giants game on Sunday. I can't figure out what to wear, it's killing me. I'm doing all fashion week stuff. All I care about is this Giants outfit, because it's stumping me, because it's nighttime. I don't know what the weather is. It's a nighttime game vibe is very different, and then if the sun goes down and it drops to 60, I'm going to be freezing, but if I'm there for a tailgate, I'll be sweating my balls off. - I feel like ESPN, here's about us. Someone's in the network meeting. They're like, okay, the numbers are good, but Gagley Squad, the number one sports podcast in the world, is really, we don't try to talk about sports. Do you think I can find a red track jacket anywhere to get shipped to me in less than two days? This is the problem with shopping. I can't go anywhere and get anything immediately. Track jackets are trending. They've been trending for six months. Why the fuck can't I find a red track jacket? - Hmm, interesting. - I want a windbreaker. I want something that I concurl under, that I can wear with a black capri, and then I can decide if I want to do a flat or a sandal, like a healed long sandal. That was my vision for the outfit. Look, but now I'm like, I'm thinking everything. - One in doubt, windbreaker it out. - Yeah, I know. - That's what we say. - That's what we say, 'cause the truth is, you're never too cold, you're never too hot. You can blow in it, you look like you're leaving it anytime, which is cool, girl. - I can wear a comfy tank under it. - Oh, I love it. And then if you want to show a little decatage you can, but then if you want to be stuck up, you can pull it up. - You do a stud and a track jacket? And you can put a hair up if you want. You can also put it down. - She's rich, but she's not throwing it in your face. - Yes, but that's why the YSL windbreakers so fucked up. - A track jacket just says so much. And also you are the fastest kid in the fifth grade, so it just is a great callback, fourth grade. - And I owe it all to these one pair of Nike sneakers that I really, I feel like they never remained. The bottom of those sneakers are the best bottoms I've ever had in my life. - They were like the ones that had the legs. - They were bounce. - A little bit, they were rippled all the way down. And the side was a pink Nike sign, but Hannah, it was metallic. It was like hard. It was like 3D, like you could touch it. It was pink metallic. - I'm just envisioning you winning the Olympics and going on stage and everyone's like, how did you do it? And I'm like, you're like the pink metallic Nike heel that I wore was so iconic. - I'm not kidding, I love them so much. I got them the next year in silver. Every year before school, my mom would take me to get my sneaker for the year and it stumped me. I'm obsessed with you. Every year I was like, I can't do this again. I don't know. I would call one of my friends who was like sporty and I'd be like, what's in for sneakers. And she'd be like, what's in in your world? What are the sporty, what are they doing? - Sweaty girls wearing. - Did you have like different gym outfits each year? - No, we wore gym uniforms. So the only thing I was in charge of were the sneakers. - You would have hated our gym uniform at MS-51s. It was yellow and blue. - I don't mind. - There was no gay behind that. It was a big yellow shirt and not like cute butter yellow. Like interfaced yellow and then blue. It was shorts. It wasn't go with my skin tone, but let me just say. I loved him class. - Yeah. - No, okay. So every year I learned the rules of the US open to Super Bowl and like horse bedding. - Those are my three then either. - Wait, so now I'm worried as you guys know, my dream is to be friends with Chelsea Handler. Like that was my dream. It's happened. But now it's like I have to deal with the consequences of my actions. - Mm-hmm. - If I'm with Chelsea, men semi-finals Tiafoban Shelton, I might get hammered. - I think if there's ever a time for you specifically as Hannah Lucy Burner Scorpio. - Wait, your birthday. - No, we had your birthday. (laughing) - By the way, still haven't got my present. You wanna know why? Because I look at your present every single day. - And you want it. - No, and I wanna like mail it to you. And I'm like, that's my friend. I need to give it to her in person. I'm gonna see her in person. - Last night I was like, "Begin's birthday's coming up." - No. - "Begin's birthday." - And I was like, "Stember, October November." And I literally was like, "We have to start googling." I was like, "Cool girl, present." - Do you know once a year I text Grace at, it could be any month of the year. - And you went to birthday? - And I go, "When is Hannah's birthday again?" - Oh. - Well, yours on Google's wrong. Like I always know it's August, but every time I think I gaslight myself until like changing the day in my own head. - Do you know, doesn't I have the same day? Like I'm August 12th, he's November 12th. And I don't know what that means, but I can make it up. - Definitely means something. - Right? For sure. - Yeah. - There's like all this different stuff. Like you can do like your life path number. - Oh yeah. - And you can like add also 12 and 12 definitely means something. - Well, that's the only math you do. - You're like, if you add one plus two, it equals three. - If you think I have been written down, 1999. - I'm not sure. - And they're like, you're 1992. - You're a creative leader. You're an adventure, adventure discoverer. - No, but they're accurate. - You're a librarian. - Okay, so what are you going to wear to the US Open now two days in a row? - This is my thing. My dream is wearing some like really cool vintage preppy like tennis inspired like fucking sweater shit. I don't know, but I've been told by the people around me and my team, I have to be more subdued. I can't dress like a clown. Like they're like you're 35 now. Like they want me to wear more black and like be common. I'm like, that's what I wear every day, but like when I'm on the red carpet. - Yeah, that's how you are though. - I'm on drag race. - Yeah, that's fine. When, look, not just sound like 87 years old, but like we're not always gonna be on red carpets. Well, look at Jane Fonda. (laughs) - I'm sorry, I feel like red carpets are for any age. - Yeah, no, but I'm saying like there might not always be a time where you're like I wanna go on this red carpenter. I wanna throw a fit on this carpet. I think do it now how you wanna do it. How fun. - I do have to say, 'cause this is so less minute, it's up in the air and I know it stresses you out, but you, if, where's the scenario, I skip the carpet. If the outfit's just like not alfading, we skip the carpet. - You've done it, yeah, yeah, yeah. - They're actually like kind of murders here and now. - Okay, but there's gonna be pictures of Chelsea Handler sitting next to me. - Hey, it's Hannah, should we let her on? (laughs) Wait, it's gonna be so embarrassing when the Jumbo Tron is gonna go to Chelsea Handler and I was gonna be sitting next to me. - Yeah, that's why you have to have at least He's still good outfit from the waist up. - Wait, should I make out with her on the jumbo time? (laughing) - Imagine. - That would be iconic. - That would be a really good promo for a tennis movie. - That would literally be Madonna Britney Spears in comedy. - Like if you and Chelsea Hamler wrote a tennis movie together? - A tennis lesbian commentator movie. - And you starred in it? - A tennis lesbian sports broadcasters. - And the way you did the first promo of the movie was that the US open on the jumbo tron and everyone picked it up like they thought it was real and then everyone was like, actually it's a promo for a movie. - We use this podcast. - It's just brainstorming. - It's an inky-bater. This is Silicon Valley for girls. - Wait, not even speaking of, but it's actually been on my mind for like the past two days. I don't know why. Are we just never getting Taylor Swift's wedding pictures? Was that the gag? - Hey, I'm having 1,000 people. You'll never see it. - Well, people were commenting. Apparently Travis said, apparently, he said like the show was great. Like he called it a show, which made people feel like that wasn't actually their wedding ceremony. It was more like a, but this the thing, if you're gonna have a big shebang, don't you wanna publicize it? - Well, I don't even care about the wedding per se. - I love when you say per se. - It tickles my fancy. - And I think more companies should be named per se. - Every, 'cause I didn't just start with per se, 'cause it makes sense per se. It's like, it's like millennial LOL, you can end every sense with per se. - It's also kind of like a really cute girl's name. (laughs) - No, isn't it per se, per se? - It's time. - P.S., so cute. Think about the themed birthday parties. P.S., she's like, they're all little writers. - You think about their embroidery. So cute. - You have to think about these things. What were we saying? - Wait, I have an invention for our incubator. Actually, this is so page coded, but I have to remember to bring, I have this one pair of black capris that like fit me right, that I might wear at the US Open, but I have to remember to pack it, and I'm jumping on. - Okay. - I just have to remember to pack it. - Okay. - And that's the kind of thing that I know I'm gonna forget, and I realize, like people will be like, hey Siri, remind me, that doesn't work for me. I don't talk to Siri. I've actually never spoken to Siri in my life. - So interesting. - So like, also, I don't know when I'm actually me walking out the door, and like, if I put it in my notes, I don't click the notes. So it's like, I want an app on the phone that's like, put it, calls you? - No, I just want it, like, sorry, that's lowest. - And happy birthday, lowest. - So cute. I want it to just like, be popped up on your screen, like permanently, like when you have important things that you can't forget at any time. - Wait, I have to go sign for a package, or he's gonna take it back. I'll be right back. - Go, go, go, go. - Fall feels like the perfect time for a reset. New routines, better habits, and a little more attention to the things you may have been putting off over the summer. If your hair could use a reset, let me tell you about Neutrophil. Neutrophil is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand, and the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologist. And now the Neutrophil women's formula has been upgraded to its most advanced version yet. It's 100% vegan, biotin-free, and comes in a smaller capsule size to make your daily routine easier. 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Right now, Neutrophil is offering our listeners $10 off their first month subscription, and free shipping when you visit Neutrophil.com, and enter promo code giggly. That's Neutrophil.com, N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L, dot com promo code giggly. - What did you get? - Marin had just shipped me a bunch of clothes, and I had to, - Oh my God. - I had to haul last in the door. - Wait, your forehead looks really shiny. - Thanks, I did a Medicube Sleeping Mass last night, and I also popped up hip and ball. - I feel like you already started Fashion Week, but we have our first fashion shows together. - Yep, how are you preparing for the fashion shows you're going to? Like, tell the gigglers. - The only preparation I'm doing is picking out my outfits. I got invited, this is the first time I've ever gotten invited to a Chanel anything, really? And I got invited to this dinner tonight, and so I'm like, I've never tried on more outfits. - More Chanel. - No, I don't even have any Chanel, so I'm like, I'm like, does this give Chanel, and then I'm like, is everyone gonna be wearing Chanel, or is that like, not cool? Should it be like one thing? It's just relatable issues. - You stupid problem of the day. But I'm so excited to go, so I don't even, I don't even care what else I'm doing, because that is my first thing this week. But I haven't really done any preparation skin wise, that's different from my usual routine. - I was gonna get a spray tan, but I like, don't have it in me. - And sometimes I can't do it. - And I'm like tan-ish. It's just, I don't know, I can't. - I know. - I'm 35. - I am going L.A. at the end of the month, but, and I am thinking, already thinking about the spray tan I'm gonna get. - Now you make me feel like I should have gotten a spray tan. - And let's just point out to the gigglers, you've been sending me pics of red hair. - Oh, okay, well, you're, you're a demon. - Yeah. - You're an actual demon. You waited till the last second of the last podcast, like every, I was like, amazing, good, good to see you, love you, bye, and you go, wait, wait, one more thing. One more little tiny thing. - She goes, small thing that you'll think about for the next three days. - You look like shit. - And then hangs up, and I was like, okay, my hope, I thought she was like into the vibe I was bringing to the function. So then I'm looking in the mirror like, this is all wrong. This whole type is all wrong. - And then, Desi agreed with you. - That's when you know we've plotted, and like, you know, I'm just kidding. - Did he start it like he texted you, like, can Hannah please change her hair? - He, I'm no better than a man. I'm looking at pictures of girls all day. Like, all I do is look at pictures of women, and I admire them, and I think like, what are cool things that I could take from their life and put it into my life. And one of the things that brings me joy is looking at different red heads, just red head. - It's like me looking at white cats. - Yes, it's actually the exact equivalent. - Yeah, when I look at rag dog cats, I'm like, this is Paige's culture. - Yeah, I'm like, my friend could do this, and I'm like, oh my god, she could rock this shade. - I think I will go a deeper red, but I also had a moment where I was like, do I just fucking go back brunette? But then the people around me said no. - Really? - It's that time. Well, I was like, for casting, because, you know, my casting for auditions, it hasn't been going well the last three months, because of when I asked her, "Okay, you're dealing with something." And this is exactly what happens to women. When they can't change one thing, they want to try and change another. And it's not the thing we're changing. - Wait, also this is so stupid, but when you change your hair color, you have to get like new extension colors. - Oh, they're gonna say, oh, a whole new personality. - You have to get a whole new wardrobe. You are a different person. - I have to walk into rooms differently. I have to walk differently, I talk differently. - Me with bangs, much more anxious. - Oh yeah, no, you're more neurotic with bangs. You have to be like, girls with bangs are smart. 'Cause they prep have to prepare. - Girls with bangs have something hiding under there. - Also, I love how you only bring them out like when you want. - They're not for every occasion. - I just pretend I don't have them. - It's giving snooki right now. - That's me just being like, and I'm 33. I don't give a fuck what you said. - Do you know what I love that like I can't pull off, but I want you to? I love when they take the bang and they do that like side, like slick side, like short. Like, okay, well, it's funny because I didn't know anything that I was gonna wear to the Chanel dinner, but all I wanted to do was like a slick back bun, all. all the way back like no part and then just like one bang. I don't know why that was my vision, but 'cause I don't even have my outfit yet. - Well, the bang just be like, like alfalfa. - I want just like one. - Will it be slicked down like, like curled? - No, not like slicked to my forehead just like that, but like that was my vision. - But I go on pinch, all I do is Pinterest. - Sorry, this is pretty privilege and I have to call it out. She's like, what if we just did like a random this and a random bat and it's like, yeah, you'll look pretty 'cause you have like a nice symmetrical, beautiful face. Meanwhile, I was on a Zoom yesterday with Grace, my hair and a bun. And I started playing with these hairs and I was just like braiding them. - New growth. That looks like new growth, Hannah. - What if I show but the Chanel dinner like this? - With the right outfit, it's actually really (laughs) I have a bone to pick with you because and I have, and I've actually been keeping it in because I haven't even wanted to broach the subject with you. - It's only 8.53 a.m and now you wanna start shit with me. Come on, let's go. - It's not, it's gonna end up working in your favor though, but a couple months ago, you brought something up and you said, and we all made fun of you and we said you were crazy and outlandish. - If I had a nickel, if I had a fucking nickel, but really you were right and he was a monster. (laughs) But Hannah, I can't stop thinking about like a pixie cut. - Like a really short, like a super, like one of my girlfriends has a super short haircut and she looks cute and-- - I got goose bumps, like I'm gonna cry. - I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna cry. That's my dream for you. - I just can't stop thinking about like, okay, like what if I got a bob and I'm like, but what if I did a different kind of bob and it was really more just like, like, I don't know. And then I'm like, that's a pixie. - Audrey Hepburn, like, and you just do all different, you could do all your weird little fucking bangs. - Yeah, I know. - But like, not, it needs to commit. Like I wanna see the shape of the back of your head. - Here's the thing, here's the thing. It's not just changing my hair. I need new friends. I need new, like I need new restaurants. I need new outfits. - She goes, "You're the first that's getting cut, babe." - And if you're not fire engine red, I'm sorry, we can't hang out. (laughing) I can't walk in with a pixie cut. And then just my brunette friend, you need to be something. - Wait, if you walked into the Chanel dinner with a literal pixie, Evergreen New York City would we have a pixie cut by the fall? - No, I mean, that is so extreme. - I'd have to really be going through something to just like, do like that extreme. But I've been thinking about it. There's just so many factors. - I'm inspired by my mom, but like maybe do it when you're pregnant one day. Like it's summer, you're pregnant, and you wanna cut it off. - I just feel like a massive round face, matching my stomach. The last thing I'm thinking about is cutting my hair up to here. - Yeah, your tongue is gonna be too swollen. - Because I can't wait in my face. - You're the first one I know. - The first place I can wait, my face. - No, are you two? When I got my wisdom teeth out, my dad said, don't look at me. - He said I'm sorry. - All I have to say is it's giving your cat journey where like you told me, at one point, you were like literally go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself. And then one day you were like, I have an idea. - I'm no better than a man. - You're no better than a man. - But it's gonna take longer, 'cause even when you first said I wanted to cut, it took a lot of time. - One thing about me, I have to do things on my own time. - I know. - And that could be three minutes, that could be three years. - That's why one thing I've never, I've never pressured you to do anything, but I do have recommendations. - Yeah. - Where you on the other hand will be like, you look like shit. I can't do this anymore. You look like a clown. By the way, the beginning of Summer House, I was blonde. - And Noah talks about it. - I know what he talks about it. - I didn't know I was blonde. Can we talk about that? Do you ever not know that you're blonde? I thought I was just getting highlights. - You know what? I didn't realize you didn't know you weren't blonde. Until one day you came in with like a super low light, and you were like, hey, I was blonde. - It's 'cause I can't communicate with people. - Remember when like JLo went, like if I just said JLo. - Remember when Jennifer Lopez went like super blonde or like kind of blonde for-- - Like when Kardashian went blonde. - That's what you are at that color. You were like honey-ish. - It's insane how bad I am at communicating when all I fucking do is talk to people all day, but like I can't communicate and I never wanted, I always wanted warm, like I like warm tones. Anyway, I have a really bad miscommunication problem. I went to a chiropractor yesterday. Shout out to all my good girls in the DM. They're like, hey, I went to Harvard. I'm physical therapist. This is what you should do. I am physical therapist number one, by the way. I don't recommend chiropractor over physical therapy. Chiropractor was just me having some fun. Having some whimsy. - Yeah, just testing it out, seeing what works. - But maybe like my biggest fear is when I do stuff, it's gonna make it worse. Like I've got a massage and made it worse. I'm going to chiropractor. I'm like, please don't make it worse. I got Botox in my master's and made my life worse. This is why I don't do things. This is why I don't leave the house. - Right. - So I go, and I've done this thing. They put the stem machine on the back. And what they normally say is like, let us know when we should stop. - Describe the contraption. - They put this like cold stuff like an ultrasound on your back. - Okay. - And then they put these like stickers on. And it adds like electricity. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But they don't want to electrocute you, but they want to like do it strong enough that it's doing something. So you tell them like when it's strong enough. - Is it like instant relief? - It feels like a deep, deep stimulation. - I did something like that, but it was for like to get abs. - You're like, I did that on my clip. Sorry. (laughing) - Alexa made me go and like do that somewhere. I'm like my butt and my abs. - Did it work? - I mean, maybe. I don't know. Not really. - I'm glad it felt good. But she like, I've done this before. They always say like, tell us when it's strong enough. She didn't say that. - Yeah. - How many levels like it goes up to like levels. - You just hear like beep, beep and it just keeps getting stronger. But she didn't verbalize like say something. - Okay. And like in that moment by the, I'm like, she should say that. And then she's like, just doing it. And I'm like, does she know? And then it gets like really fucking strong. And then I guess I like can't be assertive. And finally I'm like, that's good. And then she's like, great, leaves the room. It's way too strong. - Oh my god, Hannah. - My back is like spasming. And then as my back is spasming, I'm like, do I yell from this office? But then I'm like, that's so embarrassing. I'm not yelling from this office. - Hannah, you're literal. And then I'm like, I'm trapped, like getting electrocuted. Like I'm getting a lobotomy. - How are the patches on you? Are they like stuck to you? - Yeah, they're like stick, you can rip it off. But like, I'm not trying to create a scene. - No, I would've ripped it off. See, that's, I can't be, no. If I'm uncomfortable, I'm screaming. - I have a high tolerance for it. My back is like, it's like, I could feel it spasming. And then I'm like, okay, she'll come back to check on me. Right, she'll come back. So I'm spasming. And then I hear like someone come into the office and it's like an old employee. And they're all like, oh my god. So then there's like, you're stuff in your happy birthday. - Happy birthday. - He's like, surprise, it's been 20 years. And everyone's like, how have you been? Tell us everything. How's your kid, did you get married? What was the wedding? - Well, when I left in 2004, I'll start there. - What? - Every employee is now like in the lobby talking to this person. So I'm like, this is now, if I was gonna cause a scene like now, like this is way, I can't. So then, she eventually came in and I was like, can you make a little less? And she's like, okay, good news. I woke up this morning and my back's not fucked. But that's just a glimpse into the life of me trying to better myself. - How long realistically do you think you were laying there with it turned all the way up? - Like five minutes time. - It fell? - Like two hours. It was probably like eight minutes now. So you would have like escaped. - Before she left the room, I would have been like, actually let's lower it a little. - You know, that's what it is. I don't listen to my first instinct. - You have to. You have to. It's, you have to. - That's the only thing I listen to. - Do you know what I wanna say though? Now that I'm 35, I was voicing on someone and like I knew Tee about someone that they knew. And normally I would just be like wanting to be liked and just like tell them just to like be a fun friend. Did you tell me this Tee? - Yeah, you know this game. - Oh, okay. - Proceed. And then I stopped for a second, I said, you know what? You can't just tell everyone everything. - You can't. And I've lived my whole life telling everyone everything. I'm trying to be like, okay, she might not think this conversation is fun, is it would have been? But I don't need to spread information to people who might, I don't trust with it. - Well, what people don't realize truly? the art of gossip is to, is to actually not gossip because so many people like will tell you things because they'll be like who she gonna tell she's never told the single so so you have to have one person that you tell everything to but you can't say it to everyone because then not everyone's gonna tell you stuff and so you you need to keep your mouth shut so that certain people feed you the info like I feel like I've stared people straight in the face listen to a story that they've told me about themselves and in my head I've been like I already know I already know this gossip I was gossiping with someone not even I actually wasn't gossiping because it was about myself I was telling someone about myself and this person started to cry and I was like oh my god why are you crying like it's a truly you don't have to cry like I'm not upset like I'm just like I'm telling you the story that happened in my life you don't have to cry about this they stopped crying and they said yeah sorry I actually don't know why I did that because I already know this story she was she was acting too hard like I could have heard it before she's like it was one of those moments honey I remember where I was what time it was with Dave the week I'm dead in my tracks I go never have I ever had someone admit to me that they were like that they were scamming me like that they already knew the gossip now if I know something I'm not saying I'm not saying yeah I know so and so told me especially you're telling me like a vulnerable story I'm I'm in the moment with you I'm forgetting that I even knew this you don't want to give away your source yeah I do feel like there's a lot of comedy gossip where like when I'm in the road with my openers like I haven't been in the clubs in a minute so I that's the best gossip because like I'm not there so I'm like it's it doesn't have to do with me yeah so that's like the best kind of gossip gossip about other people yeah this the best when you're not involved your friends aren't involved that's the best kind of gossip I think people open up to me and then I have this wealth of knowledge I would never tell if someone says don't tell anyone I wouldn't tell it was insecurities of my own that I wasn't enough mm-hmm I wasn't enough just existing and you have to have unconditional love surrounding you not based on good gossip that you figured out sometimes I've gotten some of the best gossip in the world and someone has called me and been like I know you have this gossip and I have been like I really don't what do you like what have you also think I can't lie yeah you're you're better not lying but you're better at poker face yes because I feel like I deep down in my core of my personality is who are you I don't owe you anything who are you to ask me something that I know that you think that you should also know where you're nicer one follow-up question you get it from me one follow-up where you don't you don't have that no I am you don't is this what it is I'm too trusting and you're not pessimistic about anything where I am when I meet someone I assume they're angels I assume they they've been brought to me by God to be a beautiful spirit in my life and then I get fucked and nine times out of 10 and it's crazy at 30 that's what it is I'm so trusting that I assume people will like save for the information the right way not use it against me not use it against other people because I'm just having innocent fun because the first person they're calling they're saying guess what the fuck can a burner just told me that's how they're starting out the story and I don't know if it's also because I am like a tennis nerd where like my my social stuff was like me playing mind games with girls on tennis courts it wasn't like friend drama like my drama was competing you're all girls school like that's 101 you you use information as power my boyfriend in high school got asked to prom from by a different girl at a different school at like two in the afternoon I knew by two fifteen there were no bounds to my web like I knew my eyes and ears everywhere babe here's like I just left that class how do you find that out you go also it was me who asked him I was testing him I goes me in a wig in a mustache this is before we had DMs okay we were old school we stalked we stalked like cyber stalking get a grip get in a car drive by his house what also this girl I posted on my story this this great tennis player actually who works for the USDA found we were in the eastern section wait the USDA you would love this the United States tennis Association USDA why did I just think like worked for like me like wait works for like a farm which sounds amazing so you would have loved it because tennis was divided by sections so there was like there's eastern girls there's a southern girls so like we would have these thing called zoneals where we'd be like the eastern girls would compete against like the southern girls and it was fucking crazy but also we the eastern girls would compete against each other so we also had beef with each other so it was just like really complicated layered but they I guess they'd have these like little magazines where they'd put photos of like the rankings and she found like in 2004 I guess I was number one in girls doubles in for the eastern section and I saw that photo I remember like the young Hannah that like that was everything yeah to be in that little magazine and my face and I'm just like but like when you're in that magazine you're like how about 2004 2004 you're what and like I guess I was like 12/3 yeah I was 12 wow time really flies no I know do you know how I know I'm old hmm this new thing is happening to me when I see another girl especially if she's younger I like want to call her a nickname don't do that not not like a like very sweet huh but like I want to be like hi honey like I want you know yes yes yes and I've never had that urge what age what age you starting like where are you seeing a girl in your life maybe like early 20s I just want to be like hi babe like I want to baby them and it's funny because when you're their age and older women say honey do you you're like please don't do that yeah please don't do that it's something that just happens when you're older you just like want to give them any nurture yeah it's I think it's mother nature I think it's our biological clock I didn't consciously decide this though it just started coming out I'd be like honey I think it's the thing that men try to weaponize against us yeah I'm trying to take it take it back that's how I feel honestly sometimes watching certain reality shows where the girls are so much younger I'm like oh but I like I need some message right do you know how many times I've had to stop myself from DMing people on reality TV that are younger than me and honestly I I have any I don't stop myself sometimes oh I said I fully DM people like sometimes they actually do you hear there was one girl I wanted to DM like a couple years ago and just be like don't let him gas like you don't dare but I was like I can get it I can get involved I can't get involved not to tease but my reality show that I'm hosting they were moments where I was like trying to make eye contact with one of the girls and I was literally I want my looked at her and I'm like you're right like I was giving them like I was trying to coach them through my eyes because like definitely not part of the job description for me to like take sides but I was like girl look at me you're good you're good don't talk anymore you're good don't say anything they're trying to get it out of you I think one of the reasons I don't do it more often is because I'm like oh what if she like screenshots this and post this and so and like how many times do you write it out and then delete it I'm so many times where I'm like girl do not under any circumstances because I've felt moments where I've wanted to like write whole paragraphs to Whitney from help housewives more men wise slow what is it slow more men wise the secrets the secrets of why is it so many fucking words no it's really it's it's actually infuriating the secret lives of more men wives I want whoever whoever put that through and said yeah this is the name come to the front because what were you thinking so that's coming out but like there's a lot of drama with it right oh I don't even know I'm not even I'm not in the know wait I feel like it's coming up like today oh is it I feel like did it anyone see any promo there's something weird with it oh honestly amazing because - Yeah. - Oh, I'm gonna make breakfast. - I know, but you're like suddenly of a purpose. - I'm gonna pep in my step. You wanna know something, though, that I think is a good learning lesson for us because we are getting older and we do have these urges to reach out. We have an urge for human connection. (laughing) We've been virtual for too long. - We forgot that we could actually sit together for this podcast. We haven't been in the same place. - We haven't been in the same place. Starting in the beginning of October, that's it. We're back. - You're gonna be so sick of us at the table together. - We're coming to the table. - Elbows on the table, baby. - We keep coming up with spin-off shows. (laughing) - Now, what was I saying? What was I saying? - That we're learning for human connection. (laughing) - As we yearn for human connection, I think one of the most amazing things about getting older is you get that urge to reach out to someone who may be younger, do it. Like, I think that is the whole point. So like, sometimes when I do stop myself, I mean, I stop myself for like, different reasons because like, it could get into the wrong hands. But like, if I'm in person with someone and a girl brings something up to me, I'm grabbing her hand and I'm giving it to her straight. - Well, if you could change someone's life, do it. - I'll get a lot of normal DMs of like, boyfriend and girlfriend's fighting and they'll give me the scenario should I break up with them and I don't respond to some of them 'cause I'm like, this is normal. You're gonna figure it out, I'm not worried about you. But sometimes I'll get like a really insane one from a girl and I'm like, if I don't respond, this could be the whole rest of her life. - She can have kids with us, man. - Like, there was one. I can't even like, really remember the details, but I was like, get out. Get out. If you don't get out by tomorrow, like message me. - I do get messages from girls where they're like, I know I should leave, I know I should leave and I feel like they just send it to me where I know that they're just like, if Hannah responds, it's like, they already know they should leave. So then I just go, yeah, you know what you're doing? Like, I'll just like agree kind of on what's like X2 where they're like, yes, you're on your path. - Yes, and it's very improv. - It's very improv, it's very, but also my favorite, though, is people being like, I found this cat in the driveway should I keep it? And I'm like, yes, here's an Amazon list for all the things you need to buy. It's really not, it's affordable. Like, just, what food? I got you, I'll help you name it. I'll help you raise it. Also a thing with getting older. You know when you're younger and like your aunt says stuff to you and you're like, why would you say that? Like, do you know even little things like you're at a family reunion and someone goes up to you and they're like, can I sit next to you? And you're like, yeah, sit, like I don't go fuck sit. Like, why are you asking? And then I'm literally going up to Lowell Bay. No, but you know what? I was like, is it okay? It's like sit next to you. Is this to take it? And you're just like, yeah, why are you asking? - You're like, no, you old bags sit out. But then I'm literally like, Lowell's will be like finger painting and there's like a seat next to her. And I don't know where it comes from. It's like a guttural thing. I just go, can I sit next to you? And she looks at me, she's like, bitch, sit down. I'll go fuck. I'll go fuck. But why are you asking? Sit the fuck down. And I'm like, it's okay if Auntie Hannah may slap a swat next to you. - She gets so angry. I'm like, there's a seat taking, Lowell. (laughing) - I am every older person that asked me where it said, I'm doing, you got so big. You got, you big. - What's I'm saying that to people? (laughing) You were so little and you're so big. - You know shit. I think if Lowell's is a really good reminder for us that like we're not geriatric, we're not moms yet, so we have to remember like. - Get it together. - Yeah, get it together. - It was Lowell's birthday yesterday, she's four years old. - Time flies. - And Genie's TikTok's gonna be going viral. - When you're unemployed, truly. I wanted to text her so bad, happy birthday. Like I searched Lowell's in my phone. And then I'm like, oh, I have to go through her mom. I'm like, Genie, give me the phone, get the phone to Lowell's. (laughing) - I know you're her legal guardian, but can you pass the phone? Also, she was just stuffing her face with spaghetti. I'm like, you're so, you're such a good girl. - That's so such a birthday energy. - Because we come up with business ideas on this pod, I was like, Genie, I have the best fucking idea, like the best invention. 'Cause they'll eat their spaghetti, and then they take the phone, it gets everywhere. They're spaghetti all over the house. They were staying at. - Why is that? - Do you M.I. delusional that I think like? - Your kid's gonna be neat. - Your kid's gonna know how to use a fork and knife out of the world. - I just think I'm like so delusional. Not my, not maybe my son. - No, how is that a mystic of me? - Oh my God. - No, I just think that my daughter's gonna come out like, perfect. - What are the classes they take to like know how to use which fork to use? She won't have to take them, she just knows. - Like etiquette, she teaches them. She's a four year old baby genius. She's like, "Tuck, you're sure done." - Obviously it's gonna happen, I'm gonna have kids, and they're gonna make a mess. But I just feel like my daughter's gonna be like the least messy of the messy kids. - The gig with that stuff. - That's hard thing. - I cannot wait to see what comes out of you. Because there's a 50/50 chance. - And neither can I. - Oh yeah, I was like spaghetti is, and the red sauce, like it's everywhere, I'm like, what if we invented a sauce that didn't die close? And she was like, yeah, it's called pasta with butter, and I'm like, "You're fucking good." - I thought you were like gonna try and take the red. I'm like, "How are we taking the red out of tomato?" And that is just clear. - That's good, that's good. It's just garlic oil. But no, like, kids' favorite food is like, the most diabolical, it gets everywhere. The marinara sauce. That's the one thing Italians need to work on. - Pasta with butter, I mean, I'll always come back to her. - Do you put a little parmesan on it? Or no? - A little? - Oh, you drown it. - Honey, I'm using so much butter and parmesan cheese. Your head would spit. Yeah, it's almost like, inedible. - I love that. - It's the best. - I love that. - I don't know if this is on your algorithm, and it's probably not, but I feel like it's going a little bit viral, but there's this like teenage boy. I think he's a teenage boy. Honestly, I haven't looked into it. But he said that he made like a serious video that like he thinks he could be like a chimpanzee in a fight. - Why are you trying to hurt an animal? - Oh, people were like stitching the video like in no situation. Like, could you be a chimpanzee? And I feel like it's becoming the new like, I can land a plane. Like, do you really think I couldn't land a plane? Like, I could land this plane. And I don't know why I, and I almost think my comic got deleted. - What did you say? - Like, he made like a follow up video of like, no, this is why I could be a chimpanzee and I just commented, then do it. Quit making tic tacs about it. - This is the plot of Planet of the Apes. Okay, it's starting. I tell them to watch Planet of the Apes. The world is gonna be run by apes 'cause all the men try to fight them and apes were like, what are you doing? - But what are the reasons I love when things like this happen on the internet when these like niche random videos are like viral is because some of the comments are so funny. And somebody commented, and I don't know why this made me laugh so hard, but he was like, a chimp would absolutely park you, dude. - Like, and ah. - You just measured a cheap chimpie. Like, let me go, bro. Let me go. - He would put you in the ground. Like, there's also, what's with the violence? Like, no, men like, that's how they measure. I think, I think that's something in their own insecurity to like measure their worth based on how strong physically they are. - The other thing I like about older men is, like, scientifically their testosterone is leveling out. - Yeah. I would say I have the same amount of testosterone as any man in their 40s. (laughing) - You are just a 40 year old man. - I low key am, it's actually gross. - Speaking of testosterone. Actually, this is not a segue. I was trying, but I can't, I can't yes end it. I'm a little nervous about the fashion show tomorrow 'cause there's something about when I'm with you in public settings, I get giddy. Do you know when I get like, I'm excited, I'm talking everyone. And when I'm at the show, like, I feel like I'm gonna cheer. - There, I say we drowned out the noise. - Yeah. - We just do an eye one, we're there. - Do you have any rules for me etiquette wise? 'Cause I don't wanna embarrass you in front of people. Like, I know I do, but it's-- - But you can't cheer. - But like, if I like something, I can't be like, yes, honey. - Okay, this is actually a really good debate that I don't think I've seen anyone truthfully talk about. - I think you have to go with the vibe of the show. - Yeah, it's like the US Open. Like, see what other people are doing and follow the salmon. - It's more like, it has to be an internal vibe check of like, the end. like I could yell right now and it would be received well. - Yeah. - I would never, even if it was. - Yeah. - Like do you know what I mean? - Yes. - Like I'm never sitting at a runway show and yeah. - But like if you make eye contact with a model that you know. - I smile. But I'm clapping, I'm always clapping. I'm not cheering them on. - I'm like that's what go! - I'm not like sitting at them and being like, that's your walk. Like no, I'm cheering, but I'm not making it vocal. I think that's, I think it's a little like. - It's the sports in me where it's like you have to, you're like, yes, let's go babe, come on! - Like one time I was at a fashion show and it was like very, very intimate. Like it was not a lot of people at all. There was like two separate rooms. - It was a dinner. - Yeah. - It was an event where people were eating. - And this one girl was like yelling the whole time and I'm like, it's not even the vibe here. You could just say my name, believe it or not, it's like you're on the air. But this is the thing with fashion shows, the music's loud. Like when we went to Michael Cours, it was loud. I think because it's not my first, it was just my first show I was unaware that people like don't react. - Like if I'm at the Victoria's Secret Fashion show. - Yes, you're yelling. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. But also we don't have to be on a win tour when people walk down. You don't have to like have a poker face. But also I'm rarely raising my, I'm rarely, name another situation where I'm yelling. - You've literally yelled at men and there's not gonna be any like men there. - And that's it. I'm only raising my voice out of me. In any other situation, I'm only yelling. I'm not making no. - Yeah, that's such a good point. So but also like Michael Cours, this is the third year they've invited me. So like I clearly haven't offended anyone. I love them to death, I love the team, love Michael. Like sometimes it's good to be in the background. - In certain situations, yes. - You're really good, you know when to step back. - Yeah, sometimes I'm like I'm actually leaving. I'm so in the background I'm going home. - Sometimes it's okay to be an extra. - Before we leave I just wanted to say, Daphne is launching the St. Jude T-shirt because I am the childhood cancer awareness ambassador. And I've partnered with St. Jude and we're gonna do like a bunch of different things throughout the year. But the first thing was Daphne making this t-shirt. So they're going, they should be online today. And is it a Hannity? - It's a Hannity with the St. Jude logo. And I just have to tell this like really quick story because like I love Daphne, the label and the cat. But because there's so many different things that happen that are fun and just like funny that you're just like in what world. So we were like mocking up this t-shirt and we were like doing different things. And at one point we like wrote like, okay St. Jude logo here. And we're like okay, let's see like how that would look. Let's like make it. And when we got it back it said St. Jude logo here. - Okay, Nike once did a like tennis thing where it said like logo here. And it was like iconic. It's kind of like the Mark Jacobs where they were like the tote bag. - Yes. - So maybe it's like, look someone. And I was like, I don't know if this is gonna work but there were just so many funny things like that that will happen at Daphne. But. - And that's a startup baby. - And that's a startup. And I'm so excited about this because when I first started Daphne I was like thinking about what charity would make the most sense for us to partner with. And someone, something happened and someone had said St. Jude. And I was like, that's so weird. I have an email from someone from St. Jude for something so different. And it just felt very like universe telling me. So I like reached out to them and we partnered together and so I'm really excited about this t-shirt. - I love that so much. And because it's the Hannity, let me know any events I can come to to represent my brand. - And your involvement. - Well, that's amazing. Final question. Shout out St. Jude is fringe for fall. Are we doing it or not? - Fringe for fall. - I feel like fringe is always fall for fall. - Okay, it's not too whimsical. Like you know if you like turn and like hit someone with your fringe, like is it too much? - No, you can do fringe. Okay. - Here's what I'll say. I haven't bought anything fringe yet. - But go off, pop off queen. - Okay. You heard it from the source. Guys, we love you so much. Have an amazing weekend. I'll see you at the US Open. I'm there all weekend. See you next time. - See you next time. Bye. - Love you guys. Talk to you later. Bye.