Giggling about donkey smiles, silver spoons, and shoe horns

(upbeat music) - Sup, giggler? - Very, fix your Wi-Fi. - Man, if that's true, we can't be manners. (laughing) (upbeat music) - I'm in the day, just got away from me. - Hello, my galavanting gigglers. - Great. - Well, we're happy because Paige's E. Coli has ran through her body. What is E. Coli? I thought you had to bite a cow in the ass to get E. Coli. - I've lived seven months since I've freaking been me. Okay, let me just start from the very beginning. Okay, let me just do like a full story time. So we get like the true details happening. Someday night, I go out to dinner, I have some meatballs, okay? Monday, we record the pod. - Yeah. - My Monday evening, your Monday morning. - Okay. - And I'm feeling like a little queasy, but not enough to not do giggly squad. Like I was like, I can do giggly squad. Right when we ended giggly squad, it was like my body was like, you fulfilled your obligation. We now are shutting down. Okay, I've truly been in the same spot since you guys left me. (laughing) I've been right here. I never moved. I never moved. - Then I get a picture sent to me of you attached to an IV that looked like it was attached to a Pellegrino bottle. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on in Italy right now? - So Monday night, I'm puking my brains out all night. I'm shitting myself. Hannah, I'm sitting on the toilet, shitting. I'm bending over and puking in the bidet. Okay, it was, in my head, I was like so convenient. This is the most convenient thing I've actually ever encountered in my life. Thank God I own a pajama brand because the amount of pajamas I went through-- - Sweating through it? - No, I shit myself. No, I shit myself. I had to throw my pajama pants away. I go, I own the company, throw 'em out. (laughing) Throw 'em out. And it wasn't like, 'cause I couldn't get to the bathroom, it was like, I was going to throw up and then all of a sudden, I started to-- - Every orifice was exploding. - So I wake up Tuesday morning and I'm just like, I think I've died. I think I died and I'm on my way to heaven. Call a doctor, doctor comes. I tell him, well, actually, my brother's girlfriend, Amanda, I think, fucking God, she's here 'cause she's just like been translating everything 'cause she speaks like fluent. - I was gonna say, how do you say? Puked out of the mouth and the bottle. - I'm like, Amanda, can you tell 'em? It was like a lime green. (laughing) - So you're so close with her right now. - You and Amanda are like this, okay? So the doctor comes and everyone in Italy, it's just like so funny. First of all, there's no HIPAA in Italy. The whole hotel knew I was sick. (laughing) Everyone knew. - Well, they can hear her. - Everyone was going up to my parents. How is she? Is she okay? One of the waiters came in, like I had ordered room service and I was like up and he goes, you're up from bed. Oh my God, you're up. I was like, one thing about it times is they're gonna gossip. - They're gonna talk, no, they're gonna talk about it. - Also, 'cause they wanna know why you're not eating their food. That's the drop. - 100%. - So I say, I think I ate a meatball that wasn't cooked. - No. - No. - The doctor was like impossible. - Impossible, never been done before in Italy. - No. - There was not the food. I was like, okay, it might've been the food. He was like, no, it wasn't. He writes me a prescription to get like an IV and then he wrote me a prescription. - Your girl is insane. Delusional making up things. The hysteria needs a lobotomy. - I love that you came for the meatball and they go, get her out. - No, they were like, what? - No. - He actually made a face like you're stupid. Like, no, it wasn't. The food, maybe it was your stomach. How about you look inside? 'Cause it wasn't us. And I was like, okay, I mean, it is a hundred degrees here. I highly doubt they're storing all the meat products correctly, but who am I? Okay, I digress. - But a woman in STEM. - So then the nurse comes. Okay, just the loveliest woman on the planet. But I'm laying there and I'm like, this is some make shift IV if I've ever seen it. She's like, I need a hanger. I go for what? - I literally-- - When a nurse says I need a hanger, get the fuck out of there. So then she hangs it up on the thing. And then I was like, obviously nervous for her to put the needle in. 'Cause I'm like, wait, what if she's not, she was the best nurse I've ever had put a needle in my arm, ever? I take down the IV. I'm like, I'm like, okay. But I'm like fully incapacitated, like all of Tuesday. I'm like, dead. Next day, Wednesday, I have her come do another IV because like the biggest death was the dehydration. And on my like fourth round of broth and rice from room service, one of the waiter says, talk about gossip. One of the waiter goes, the whole hotel, sick, vomit. I go, everyone in the hotel is vomiting. He goes on the first floor, there's a couple of kids that had it. And I go, what? I literally, I felt, because I'm the last pod, I was like, I have baby fever. The universe was like bitch thought. Like, no, you don't. No, actually, you don't. Wait, so the doctor was right, it wasn't the meatball. Yeah, no, it wasn't the meatball. I had like a legit stomach virus. Kids get everyone sick. No, I literally. You cared so much about trying to eat everything in Italy and we were all rooting for you. So the fact that this happened, like, I even had cheese in four days. No, like, you don't deserve that. You don't deserve that. I haven't had cappuccino. Not even a pursuit. No, nothing. I've literally, last night I went out to dinner and I was like, I'm so sorry, but can I just have pasta and butter? And he was like, yes, I guess. [LAUGHS] Also, you were posting all your out of the videos. You were so happy and then you just went silent. And then my scorpio brain, I'm literally knee deep in the toilet, vomiting. And I'm like, someone put a goddamn hex on me. Like, someone literally put a spell on me. Yeah, and then you're going through your rolling X of people that are on your shit list. Oh, put it in a bed. But joke's on them because I'm so snatched. I'm feel great. You're hydrated. I'm hydrated. I look better than ever. And no, now I'm really taking on the world. But I haven't had any gelato. I can't believe I haven't eaten. This is the longest I've ever gone without cheese, I think my whole life. And it's like, and my body's finally functioning. Yeah, and I feel great. This is the first day that I'm literally out of bed. Like, I went to breakfast and went to the pool. I was worried that I was going to have to navigate somehow doing an episode with my fucking flat ass smile without you. But everything worked out. I would never leave you like that. Yeah, we would just do live from the toilet. It's Patia Sorbo Saturday night. I was going to have you send me voice notes. Oh, my God, you in the bathroom. You know, that's the darkest time of your life when you're like alone vomiting. That's when you see God, I think. No, I literally said this is how people in other countries die. They get a parasite of some weird shit. And then they die. I mean, it was like 5 a.m. I think, like, Tuesday morning. And I was like, can you get my mom? Can you get my affairs in order? Can you please call my mom? And so my mom had to come to my room. And my mom, like, typical my mother. She goes, well, you throw up so dramatically. She's like, you throw your whole body into it. She's like, I've thrown up three times in my life. Like what you're so annoying. She goes, have you ever thought about not doing that stop? No, she was like seriously. Just throw up like a normal person. My stomach muscles are so sore from legitimately like contracting to like-- You know, maybe you had an exorcism. No, honestly, I was like, OK, clean out all the toxins and the demons and whatever I've been holding on to. Get it out. I'm truly-- I'm truly-- there's nothing left in me. You're a blank slate. Well, I got nervous because I was like, am I like at this point pooping out my organs? Because there's just no way. There's no way. What's coming out at this point? Every hour on the hour, I was throwing up and going to the bathroom. Were you like left to fend for yourself for most of this? Or was there always someone like patting a rack? No. - My whole family, it was as if. If I was literally dying, like there were even people in the hallway when my parents were like going to breakfast, like how was she, like the whole, my whole floor now, everybody knew about it. They had yellow tape all around your door. I went to breakfast this morning and they were like, oh my god, like sit down, like we're so happy to see you. I was like, does everyone know? But you love the attention a little, you're like, it's me. Yeah, I did. The girl everyone's been talking about, it's hard to be the egg girl of the hotel. But also there was a part of me that was like, I feel like the universe was like, you know what? I've never stayed in bed on a vacation and I feel like this vacation is so long that it was actually nice to just like, I couldn't go out and do anything. So like, I've never just enjoyed a hotel room the way I did the past four days. And enjoy is a strong word. She's like, I saw every corner of the room. The room was spinning at one point. It's so funny because I'm also living in a hotel like, what's the Eloise? I feel like Eloise were like, everyone knows me now. I go down and like, you know, my order, the usual. Some of the best like chicken broth and rice I've ever had in my life. They probably use orzo, that was so Italian, what do you say orzo, you have to use your wrist? Well, no, they use what they use for risotto, so it's not like, yes, is that orzo? Kind of. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. It's not like your classic jasmine rice, you know, which I do love. Well, anyway, hi, how are you? Good. I've been going down my smile update. This is going to sound crazy. And if you're watching the YouTube, I can feel like a millimeter of the edges. Like it's so embarrassing. But like, okay, I'm going to try to do it. Yeah. Yes. I see it. No, I see it. And I'm not gaslighting you. Okay. It's literally huge for me. But when I tell you if you just watch that, you're like, it's not good. It's not good. You know, like, you're going to go through phases. Yeah. The good thing is I feel like I can talk. Like, there were a couple episodes of Giggly Squad. I was like, I sound like I have a dick at my mouth. Yeah. Take the dick out. Hey, do me a favor. Okay. Take the dick out of your mouth. That's an amazing insult. Hey. What do you mean? Do me a quick favor for a second. Do you want the dick out of your mouth and talk to me like an adult? You love that. I do. I love you. You got jacked up on that. You go, add that to the repertoire. Yes. I do. Take that. Take that. Well, that's my question. Because you're not doing reality TV right now. Where are you putting all your good, like, insults? Because I feel like, like, where are we putting it to your brother? Thank you so much for asking. Because I know you have a side of you that's like, we need to let this out in artistic form. Okay. One of the most amazing things about going on a vacation, especially with your sibling and their significant others and your significant other, is they can see what your sibling dynamic is. And Gary said something so heinously means to me the other day, to the point where I don't even remember what it was because I started laughing hysterically. And his girlfriend was like, Gary, that was so mean. And he was like, that's her love language. She loved it. Look how she's laughing. She's so happy. So a lot of my insults have been going like about people, but just to my mom and dad. Yeah. Okay. And when my dad says, whoa, that was harsh. So I know I have to really reign it in because he's like psychopath final boss. Yeah. And he doesn't like the word cunt. So if I throw in like, and that fucking gun, he goes, no, he goes, that's where I put the fuck down. Yeah. That's where he draws the line. See, I explained to my parents that like culturally in England, it's like a filler word and they've like gotten over that, but like also I'm not throwing around all the time. It's like bitch. Do it once in a while. It's very there. Yeah. It hits better when you like save it for important times. Yeah. Oh my god. It's so funny with the brothers. I also think people talking shit about people. There's nothing that bonds you more with your brother's significant other than talking shit about your brother. And I know like that sounds fucked up, but like me sitting in a car with my brother's wife being like, you know, who does that? And her agreeing, it's like the best feeling in the world. And it's true love, like it's true family connection. I have this running joke with Amanda that like when they first started dating, I like pulled her aside and I was like, get out, get out, right? I'm like, Ron. Do you ever root for her? Like root for her while she's fighting with him? Like, you like, come on girl, literally last night he like said something to her and I like looked at him and I was like, what the fuck did you just say to her? Like I'm like, no, now it's kind of crazy because legally I've had to be on his side for 33 years. You know, I, I'm not, I'm on her side. And like on vacation, like sometimes whole say things to her that like he would say to me and she'll be like, I'm not your sister and he's like, right, yeah, I can't say that. You could talk to her like that, don't talk to me like that period. I've been reading the YouTube comments. The comments are so funny because I've been posting updates on Instagram and my smile and it's people being like, oh my god, it looks better like on my day 27, everyone's like, it looks better. And then the next comment would be like, it's really, really, really bad. And then the next one would be like day 30, it'll come back. Like it's so funny seeing everyone's different reactions to it, but overall everyone's laughing. But one girl sent the nicest message that she basically was like Hannah seeing you on the last giggly squad episode, stop covering your mouth and just like letting it go made me feel it was like empowering and made me feel more confident about my own insecurities. Like basically like if you could own being that fucked up and like normalizing it, I could own my shit. And I was like, okay, if that's what I bring to this planet, that's what I bring. But now look at me. I'm like, this is me now, bitch. Take it or leave it. Wait, the photo you posted a view in DES and then you were like, wait, why is my smile? Okay, so there's a DES is special for international gigglers and whatever, it's on YouTube right now. So you should watch on YouTube. So I posted to promote it and I took a wedding photo and he's mid-sentence of something. So his mouth looks like literally my smile. No, it was exactly your smile. She calls it my sonaril. How is the show going? Oh my god. How is Ken? You're like your Canadian. I'm so fully Canadian. I've also been like such a foodie. I've gone to a bunch of different restaurants because DES came to visit. Wait. Oh, I was gonna say with who? No. When I'm alone, I get so scared. Like I wouldn't be going to the pool. Like I'm so scared. But um. Wait, really? Like even like shopping. I don't like shopping alone because like you walk in and it's just like also with my smile. It's honestly added to my social anxiety because I'm like, I don't want to disappoint people. Like you walk and greeting really gets me anxious right now. Actually, like I was very depressed for like two weeks. Like I wasn't even calling Grace. I know. Because I was like, I don't want to bring negative energy to her. I don't want to burden people with my face. No, actually, you'd be surprised how many like friends I have that I just didn't want to tell because I didn't want to ruin their day. Yeah. That's really considerate of you. But you wouldn't be ruining anyone's day. I know. You have to let it out. You have to, this is a perfect example of depression. You have to get it out. Yeah. You can't just sit with it like a singer. I get stronger when you keep it in. Yeah. You have to tell everyone. But you know what the show, I can't wait for the show to come out. I don't know when it's coming out. It's really a great show and like production's been so cool with me. And we've like really leaned into this character. But also a lot of, now I'm like obsessed with people smile. Like I watch something. I'm like that person that smile a lot. I'm like, oh my god, that person has a beautiful smile. Like literally yesterday, this girl was like doing something she's like smiling in front of me. I was like, are you trying to hurt my feet? I was like teething and smiling and making eye contact with me because it ruins my fucking day. No, it's a lesson in being grateful because that's how I feel about like being able to eat cheese right now. I'm like, remember last week when I was just chowing down on creams and different milks and frozen milks and different aged parms, like that was so, that was so nice, wasn't it? But every time I go to my family, like maybe I'll just try a little cheese. They're all at the same time, like no, but that makes me want to be naughty and do it. That makes me want to take it back to my room and just be like, they don't know how I'm gonna fake any of this shit. Well last night I got back to my room and my brother texted me and he was like, I got I ordered two pizzas and I was like, oh he's literally the double. on your shoulder. Gary's like, I won't tell anybody. He's such an older brother. He's like wants to stuff me full of cheese. You're his Barbie doll that just wants to Sharpie it all over. Burn it. Wait, the other day? Okay, so the way like our rooms are set up like we're three in a row. Like my parents me then Gary. And like the balcony is like low enough that like if you stood on a chair, you can see over but you have to like get up on a chair. So every time I go out on my balcony and my dad hears me, he jumps up on a chair and like looks over at me. Well, the other day when I was really sick, I needed them to come in and like change my sheets because I was just like disgusting. So I went and I sat but I couldn't go anywhere. So I like just went and sat out on the balcony while they were like cleaning my room. And the woman had come outside because she was wiping down the like sliding glass door. And she doesn't. It got on the slide glass door. No, she was just. Oh, she was just spraying her clothes. She was just light-solving everything. She was just really helping me out. Okay. Wait, Italian's love cleaning. You know she was. She was having a field day. She brought me extra blankets and pillows. Like she knew that I was like sick. So my mom was out there with me and she like my brother on the other side didn't know that the cleaning woman had come outside. And so he jumped up on the chair and he had a you know, those like things that help men put their shoes on. Okay. Yeah. Like the what are they called? I have no idea but like men are so weak. You need something to help you get your shoe on. A shoe horn. It's called a shoe horn. Oh yeah, shoe horn. It's like help them put on like dress shoes, whatever they truly like the patriarchy can't even bend. Yeah, let's study endometriosis. Okay. So my brother pops over his head with the shoe horn like by the way, he's turning 40 soon. Continue. That's a cruel man. Physically threatening people. And the cleaning woman, what the fuck? She was like don't go into the disorder's room. It's a very scary and they are. My brother was like sorry and my mom goes no we're all family. It's okay. And I go it's okay that your son was going to beat me with a shoe. No, it's a lot of therapy going on here. So anyway, that's a little bit about the disorbo family trip. Summer is the season of ponytails, messy buns and braids. And when it's hot outside, I need to get my hair off my neck and I used to feel so self-conscious about how my hair looked. But after using neutralful, I realized such a difference in my hair. And there's nothing I hate more than doing a slick back bun and all of the sudden the sides just look so empty. There have even been times where I've taken eye shadow and like tried to fill in the gaps, but not when I have neutralful. Neutralful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. 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When the fuck did we say donkey smile? Never said donkey smile. Also, what does a donkey smile look like? Okay, no, but I read it and I was like I'm being misquoted. I've never, then I was like, did I say donkey? Cause you know, sometimes you're like saying you're taking out of content. I've never said, I would never say I have a donkey smile. I've also never said the word donkey. I've never smiled donkey together. Also, I've never shame a donkey. Like animals are perfect. And like in what context like are we talking about donkeys? No, literally donkeys out of it. So anyway, they just gaslit me to say that I called my, just say I look like a donkey. Don't make it like I'm telling myself I look like a donkey. Who wrote it? So many at yahoo. Not a giggler. No, no, no giggler would never. Also, everyone was worried about your like gangly insist. And did you see like all the responses about what to do? So many responses. I think the number one response was like it's a five to 10 minute procedure. It's honestly not that big of a deal. That's not the number one response I saw. Oh, what was yours? People were saying to hit it with a Bible. Oh yeah. Is that that one I knew? I knew that one. That's great to get his Bible and hit you with it. It's gonna literally grab his shoe and be like, I'd love to. I've been waiting for you to ask. No, I knew that was like one of the things to do, but I don't want to do that. You don't want to do surgery on yourself? Well, everyone was like it will come back if you do that. And even if you go and get it drained, most likely it comes back. They said the only way to like really ensure it doesn't is to like get the procedure. I think I would just go and get it drained. Are we like becoming those girls in their 30s who were just talking about like back pain and like sis. Okay, well, we're growing with the gigglers. We're all the same age. I'm like, this is what we're going through. We're just talking about it. And this is how you get endometriosis, research money. But speaking to talk about us. Yes. Yes. I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing. Because now she's like a part of me, you know, but someone did say stress and anxiety contribute to these. I know I'm it's kind of you can like accessorize it. Maybe you could bedazzle it or something. Yeah, maybe I could build it a little home. Get it an outfit, a matching set, put a little eyes in the mouth on it. Be like hold on. I have to talk to my ganglion sis. What do you think? What up gang? There they are. I'm so stupid. I really miss you. I feel like no, I miss you so much. Like I feel like I have so much, but like I need to see you in person. You were dead, but like so I did it. I was just like being like, it'll be okay. Like I didn't know what to say, but I also didn't want to bother you because you were dead. But then I also didn't want to like make you think I forgot you were dying. Honestly, nobody bothered me while I was dead because I haven't been this. I haven't been this sick since truly like college high school. I was so sick that I didn't even know where my phone was for the past week because I truly couldn't. I couldn't even look at my screen. I was so. Do you just say I jinxed us a couple episodes ago before the master massacre and your E. coli? I, I basically was like being in your 30s is great because when something bad happens to your 20s, you're like, this is the first time it's happening. Like I'm so scared my life is over, but in your 30s, you're like, I've dealt with this. I'll be okay. And then things that have never happened to us. Like the smile situation. I'm like, I've never come across, this has never come across my desk. I don't know how to handle this. I think this is the end for me. So the universe loves to fuck with us and be like, oh, you think you know? No, I couldn't believe I said I had baby fever and then you almost died from a baby. The hotel like made her dee was like a bunch of kids brought it in. And I was like, those mothers. Yeah, of course. Also, there's a lot of people from Australia here. Which is crazy. Yeah, I keep saying, nah, but because I feel like that flight is insane unless they live in America. But it's funny. It's fine to see what vacation spots people love. Like the British go to or the Australian versus the Americans. But Australians, I feel like our good vibes. And they love to like have a good time. Well, I think the gaggle of Australian kids is who gave me this dire disease. Well, you are now in a full beef with a bunch of six worlds. Well, here's the thing because I got to the pool today and I go - Which one is little? (laughing) - Slimey. - Knee biters. - Little rats. Yeah, gave me a fucking virus. No, truly there were, 'cause the number one thing I thought there was a lot of old people at our pool, I feel like. I was like, if someone over the age of 75 is getting this, that's it, you're done. I don't know how you're coming back from it, because it was, I mean, I thought I was going to heaven, at one point. Oh, God. Anyhow. - Well, the good news, I know I'm healing a little bit because, or maybe I'm just. - In terms of what? - Just because, not my mouth, but just because I'm like, maybe it's just 'cause I'm bored in hotel, but I've been watching some reality TV. - What have you been watching? - Well, I sent you this like long voice note about Rhode Island. Did you listen? - You did. - Oh my God, I said you like. - When did you send it? - I was during your death spiral. - Oh, then you know what? - Yeah. - 'Cause I was like, I want her wake up in the morning and just have like my opinions, but I've been watching. - Wait, no, you didn't. - Or maybe you watched it during a blackout. - No, I feel like I would have remembered pressing play. Are you sure it sent? - Or maybe I sent it to the wrong person. And they're like, why is Hannah telling me? - I got your screenshot pictures. - It was before that. - Okay, anyway, keep going. - Anyway, we're just trying to figure out our communication. - Yeah. - So, okay, with Rhode Island, I love the accent so much. And I have to say, Alicia is one of the funniest personalities to ever grace our screens. And she truly is not trying to be funny, which I think is the most magical part about it when everything she says hits, and her being like, I love a summer, I love a fig, I love a cracker, I love a horse, I love a horse, I love a horse. - Then you find out she's allergic to horses and she goes, isn't that sad? - That's so sad. - 'Cause I love a little horse. 'Cause she never laughs at her joke. She just says it. She, Billy, Billy, Billy. - It's just her personality. - She's incredible. - You've had her pizza. - Pizza mama? - Member, yes. Remember, Luccio brought us pizza to Radio City from Rhode Island, because that was, yes, I'm pretty sure. - Oh, so she's a CEO. - Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her place, that that's where it was from. I also kind of made that up, but we'll have to ask Luccio. - Wow. - But I'm pretty sure you've had it. - But yeah, people are like getting in fights and like it's just so, nothing makes sense, 'cause of like edits. So like you just don't know anyone's actual stance. Like it's just so crazy. - There is a world where Gagley Squad in 10 to 20 years turns into just a reality TV recap pod because watching a reality show as an old, old, oh my God. Why did I just do that to myself? - As a former reality person. - You can tell when it's the problem is bigger and they can't show it on TV because it's too much, it won't make sense. And like there's a moment where you're like, what's the real fight about? - What was the reason? - Yeah. - They're just saying yes to everything. Even the reunion where they're like, Rula, why would you go on a reality show when your husband is mid-affair? - Yeah. - And the guy, the husband was kind of like, I don't know. - I find them, I find that archetype of people like, 'cause I would put them in the same, obviously it's not the same thing because Jen Shaw literally scammed like so many people and old people, which I think is disgusting, but I'd put them in the same archetype of person where it's like, weep it. (laughs) Obviously people were gonna find out about this. Like, how could you go on a reality show doing something so horrible and also illegal in Jen's case and think that no one was gonna pick up on it? - I could be wrong, but I feel like, Rula and them, at one point, you have to look at the little things people say, towards the end he was basically like, the husband was like, well, where are the stars at the show? And him saying that made me realize like, oh, they got the opportunity to do reality TV, they want to be famous, they were in discussions, but she was like, will handle it. Also, I love saying it in discussions. They used different words for, oh, when she goes, they were echoes, they were echoes. (laughs) That's what Liz says. They have different words for like, just, he fucking cheated, you know what I mean? But, isn't it crazy how, no, they talk about their husbands cheating, like it's the 1950s, he stepped out. - He stepped out, yes, he stepped out, like he tripped. - I'm like looking at the TV, I'm like, no, he fucks someone else. Like, what are you talking about? - If you wanna stay with your man, 'cause like, that's fine, but I think what was frustrating people was that she was trying to play dumb when she's not dumb. - She's not dumb at all, she's extremely smart. - Extremely smart, and she kept being like, just trusting him, and I know it's 'cause you want to trust him, and you have a family with him. But they really thought that they could go on the show and just like deny, deny, deny, but Joelle and, who by the way, everyone calls her evil. - I love it. - She calls herself evil, and then Liz tries to be like, they just don't show the evil stuff. But like, she hasn't really done anything evil besides like, be like a dog with a bone when it comes to guy cheating. But by the way, like, (laughs) guys now are allowed to cheat, and no one cares. - No one cares, they're like, well, she was annoying probably. - Yeah, she like, did she smirk weird when he talks? - Did you think about like, what she was like to live with? - Oh my god, yeah. - It's okay. - Of course, he should have cheated on her, the girl that he fully had paperwork with. - Also, Rhode Island is a very interesting cast because they've all known each other for so long. - That's why it's good. - Yeah, think about like your high school friends or your college friends. If you guys were all about to film a show, in your head you would think like, okay, she's gonna be like this kind of character 'cause that's how she is and she's gonna be like this. So I think they all went into it the way they think of each other. So like, everyone's gonna hate Joao and because we hate Joao's. But then they're on the show in America's watching and they're like, well, we love this woman. - She was never homeless. She was never homeless. - Oh my gosh, she was never homeless. - I do love Liz though, like I like all of them. - Liz and now she's gone 'cause I think Liz was gonna kill someone. Like Liz was like, I don't wanna have to kill someone on this show and that's why I'm not gonna be here. - It is also like your first season of reality television. It's such a blur because you're then obviously when it comes out you're like, wait, what? Like I can't believe I did that. And it is intrusive. It's extremely intrusive and not everyone, once you get a taste of it, not everyone wants to keep doing it. So like I kind of respect her decision or she's like, I did it, I like experienced it. Like so fun. It's kind of similar to like a gentleions where she's like, yeah, I liked it but I don't like it enough to be like a full cast member where you have that much access to me. - Well, also you don't know. You don't know what's gonna define you out of like all the hours that you film. You don't know what moment people are gonna be like and that's who she is. - Yeah. - And Liz actually was really good. And then I think Liz had one of these, when people would fight with her, she would take it very personally 'cause she was like, I've known you since you were born. Since you were born. I saw you come out of your mother's vagina and you are gonna attack me on TV. Like that's the thing. When you confront someone on a reality show, you're not just confronting them. You're deciding, I want America to see this accusation of you. And it makes it so much deeper. - Yeah, and I feel like if you're on a reality show and you are the type of person to be like, oh, I don't think of the cameras. Like I just feel like you're lying. - No, you're 100% lying. - Really or not? You don't think of the guy standing in front of you with the massive camera. Like you don't think about it. - I mean, you definitely can't control everything 'cause you can't be on top of it all the time because it's too hard. Like you'll forget like to control yourself, I think. When you film for so long at some point, you're like, I need to let out my opinion. - I think that they were a phenomenal cast and they did a phenomenal job as a first season. - A phenomenal. - So I would say probably the best housewife franchise in years. - Phenomenal 'cause it's like their own culture. And also, you know why they were good? They make up fast. Like when Alicia freaked out on Rosie because Rosie was trying to stir the pot and then Rosie was like, hey, I'm really sorry. She was like, I love you. After she was like, welcome to Rhode Island bitch. Like, but that's what makes a good show to be like. Like if they stayed mad at each other, the rest of the show that's boring. - So boring. - Get over it. - But the thing is come season two and season three people get. really jealous and you goes of who's doing well, who's not. So things get really-- - And people get blinded by anger. And then they do do things that are life-rooting or life-altering. And because these are their real friends, like I could see it being even harder, like they've known them for so long. - Also, we have a reality TV update. Laila from Mormon-wise has come out as bisexual. - I get one stomach virus and I lose all track of the Mormon lives. - Wait, it's insane right now the Mormon lives online. - What are they doing? What are they doing? - Well, also I can't follow courtship, but Dakota and Taylor have a live stream going of like a, what's it called when you ask questions? - Deposition? - Deposition? - I don't understand what its opposition is 'cause they don't have to answer any questions if you don't want to. - Why would you answer any questions if they're gonna use it against you? - I don't know. - And ask Gary, actually don't. I don't, he's busy trying to hit people with a shoehorn. - No. (laughing) - Gary's busy. - No, that Dakota guy is real deranged. Like, he's real scared. He's on another level. He's really doing really scary things. Like, timing the videos he posts of her, you can see, and he just posted some video of her and she was very clearly like postpartum and she's begging him to just like stop. Like, you can feel the frustration. In her and that's like the craziest level of abuse that I feel so bad. - It's reactive abuse, which actually, they do take advantage of with reality TV where sometimes they just show people's reactions and not what they're reacting to, but that's just me raising awareness. Taylor is fighting with all the other girls right now. - About what? - All the other girls are mad at her. I think she had said like, I'm the founder of Mom Talk and then Whitney Levitt comes into the chat and is basically like founders. Like multiple people founded it and then Whitney's filming with all the other girls and then Taylor posts basically like, how could you, how could you, from outside the club, you can't even get in and it's all these texts of opportunity she had that she said no to and the other girls said yes to. And then the internet's divided because they're like, is that a flex that you like didn't want to do gigs and the other girls did it, like I don't know. It's just, it's just Mom Talk is in chaos. - Well, let's call this way to spade. Maybe multiple of them founded Mom Talk. They got a show because of Taylor. - Yeah, yeah. - That's the only reason they're on TV is because Taylor had an effect. - But again, this is what happens with reality TV. It gets to the point where it's like just egos. Like who gets a credit, who gets a credit and who deserves what, but you're right about Dakota. Like the first scene when they were in that restaurant and he goes, I couldn't believe you messaged me. Like I could just tell that he was a fan more. - Yeah. - Like he's just a fan that like got in. - He is the biggest fan, he's not even a fan because I feel like that's a compliment. He wants to be her. - Yeah. - He wants to be the founder of Mom Talk. - He's like a good enough looking guy. - He wants to be a bachelor. - That she messaged him and he basically was like, this is my, she's my like, what do they call it? Silver Spoon. - I don't know if that's, I mean, I guess you could use that in that context, but I don't think that is traditionally plugged out. What did I say? - Well, typically the saying is like, they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Like they were born with like a leg up. They were born like wealthy. But I guess actually you could say, she's my sister. - I digress. - I actually, I actually kind of like that. That's actually like, yeah, throw a new spin on it. - I take that dick out of your mouth and that silver spoon. - Do me a favor, take that dick out of your mouth and put in this silver spoon from rags to riches. - And you guys were not high right now. - Wait, do you want to hear something really sad? - No. - The owner of the gelato shop in town passed away, so they shut down the gelato shop. And there's a sign in the window. All I could think about was your grandpa. I don't know why, and in the sign in the window, it said, "Close due to morning." And I was like, "Oh." - And what talons are so good at processing their emotions? "Gangelo wouldn't have wanted us to continue "without him for the week. "Why did I turn into long islands?" "Gangelo, not, isn't that so sad?" - Well, talons love putting up a closed sign. They love be back later. - Taking a day off. - They're taking a day off. - Yeah, see ya. - B-R-B. - Well, I send my condolences to the gelato king. But anyway, no easy way to segue, but Leila had her first orgasm. - Oh, okay. - Which is so funny, but no, she had her orgasm, but she also, she's bi. So basically, like men just weren't doing it for her. And everyone was like pointy finger at her. Like, you have to like figure out how to orgasm. And she's like, I can't with a man. And then one day she woke up and she was like, oh, 'cause I like women. - Yeah, I was gonna say. - She's a girlfriend. - She couldn't do it with a vibrator like before. - Maybe she, I think she was, but she like wasn't, it wasn't happening with men. So she has like a hot girlfriend with tattoos. - Yeah. - Yeah, I love that friend. - I'm like so happy for her. - And if I could, I would. - I would, but I can't. - Then on my TikTok, something came up. I don't know why I get all these TikToks about guys on the DL. Maybe it's 'cause I was on the DL in a past life. If you don't know what the means, it means straight men who are gay on the down low. And this guy speaks as like a former DL man. And he's like this gorgeous guy who like is straight passing. And he's like, hey, as a former DL man, I just want you to know that guys on the DL tend to go for like really traditional, beautiful women. Like, so we think, we just think about it like kind of like a gay guy where like that's gorgeous. I'd rather be around that. And he's like really traditional, beautiful women end up with guys on the DL a lot. And I was like, I have to send this to page. But you know all these like girls on Instagram who are gorgeous. And then they have these gorgeous boyfriends. And then you click on the boyfriend and you hear him talk and you're like, why would? - The amount of times I've like followed a girl for years and I've never looked at their husband and then I've just randomly given a gander. I'm like, I think that's okay. - Well, 'cause in photos they look so good together. - Yeah, I'm like a gorgeous couple. - 'Cause they're facing each other. - There's actually a girl on the internet. I don't even know what her name is. Like on TikTok, that's like a crazy girl. Like a crazy like, you should not go to school and just like get married. Like one of those girls, I don't even know. But she like fights with people on the internet and then like they showed a picture of her husband. They know they showed a video of her husband. Like, and it was so blatantly obvious that he, it was just like sad. I'm like, take it, these girls get brainwashed. - But then part of me like my feelings were hurt 'cause I was like, oh, so I'm not good looking enough for a DL get a fuck with me. Have you never dated someone where you've like been out with them and you're like, taking a minute where you're like, I think you might be gay. - Never. The only gay guy that I ever dabbled with. I never hooked up with him was one of these guys who was like too masculine. Like he was over like so masculine. And then when I heard that he might be messing around with men like a year later, I just talked him for a couple of months. I was like, oh. - That makes sense. That's a different. - That's a different kind of deal. - And that's a different trauma response. - It's like guys in the military who were like super buff and tied it up. And just the most masculine guy ever. And then you find out I was on DL. So he really tricked me. Some of these guys are not out here even trying to trick girls. - Yeah, I like them to put it all out on the table. - They're like, don't a stomp that last season brought a shoe on me, honey. And I'm like, let's get married. I haven't seen guys page. And I like pitched this like show concept. We're like page falls in love with a guy who pretends to be gay or who is actually gay and she finds out later. And these people gave us notes and they were like, but that's not realistic. And we were like, this is based on a biography. This is based on real life on the ground journalism. - One of the writers was like, we just feel like Paige is too smart and she'd catch on. - And me and Hannah are in the room. We're like, uh, actually, we don't think that. - Like, okay, just wait, you just want to fall for something like that. I'm like, this is happening to girls every single day. This is an epidemic that we have to talk about. - All over America, women are getting tricked, okay? - But then it's like, is it better sometimes to just be with a DL guy who understands your fashion and likes to gossip with you and is good looking? - No, okay, no. I think that. That's the whole argument of like lavender marriages. I think lavender marriages work. I get those I understand if you want to have children and this is your friend and you're and they're gay, whatever It's also it's kind of like an arranged marriage where I feel like two people earnestly believe this is what they want it can work Like if the if the guys like this is what I want To be for me It works. Anyway, anyway, I have a sports update since this is a sports podcast and you guys have all been waiting for the sports updates Is this is the cup? I'm officially into the world. Why did I just say that wait you are I was just gonna say is it still going on? Does came over and was like we're watching the world cup and I was like, okay, and I like made him explain shit to me and then like now I'm like all in it's so annoying Like I was watching it alone last night, but um, oh, I hate when you do stuff like that I have like a weird like hyperfixation with it You get so into random I know now I'm in a K hole now my whole feed is like men kicking Look them all up. Okay, give me what's the deal with the guy with all the goddamn Berkins? Oh, so it looks like he is lip filler, but he's just yeah, he's just from Switzerland, she's like men are just beautiful I cheekbones and huge lips and just like he's like six five. He was why I can't even look right at him Like so he's yeah, yeah, he's just really good and has a good personality and he's talented and he's winning, but the soccer is just I mean, I don't really have any insight. I just didn't understand why Every play they don't just like someone kicks the ball towards the goal and then they all jump and like have a chance to get it in because like It's so fucking hard to get a goal. I'm like why are we not just like I Feel like percentage-wise just kick it near the goal and see what happens and does it like no They have to set up the play they have to set up the play. I'm like yeah, but they could be setting up the play all fucking game And someone like hits it off their ankle and it goes into other goal Also, why the fuck would America create football and call it football when the entire world Was using the term football for soccer like well, that's like us using inches and Fahrenheit. Yeah, but but No, actually But like football was created in what like the fifties. Yeah, like football was already a thing like call it Call something like soccer was yeah, like the game of soccer was already a thing So when they created American football and they're like what should we call it they were they'll a bunch of idiots got together I was like why don't we steal the name of a sport that's already being played like why didn't anyone stop Them you like who was the head of the meeting that day also foot and ball in American they don't ever kick it They kick it. They have a kick but they have like a kicker that why wouldn't it be called handball? That's a thing too. That's a separate thing. Well come up with another thing But you know it made me think comparing the two American football should have been called soccer And football and soccer should have been called football Possibly because what the hell is soccer? The branding is all over the place It's all over the place and it's because it's all the meant they're all the men Yeah, cuz men don't straight men don't know branding. That's for sure but with soccer the men like They want to get called fouls called so they like flop like they get hit slightly and they do the whole like rolling around like a fish on the ground They're your cat when you're away for a while and you come home They just fall in front of you like or like a toddler They're like a toddler where like they fall and you're looking at them like are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry? And they look around to see if no ref calls a whistle. They just get up and keep going oh There's sick they're liars and cheaters No, they're really sick, but it's funny cuz football Yeah, they have pads and stuff, but football American football so fucking complicated They're getting hit with each other's helmets like rammed every play and these are six eight guys that Rammed get right back up run back to the play and then soccer someone's like kind of like hits another guy's shin and They accidentally hit by a car When I got hit by a car. I had less reaction American football is like truly modern day Like gladiators. Yeah, which and it's not right It's not right because yes, he did get up immediately and go back to the line But his brain is bleeding and he can't spell my murder someone in five to five to me No, there's a 50% chance someone's gonna get murdered The men don't have a good enough track record that we're taking this many chances with that also It's crazy is like if he murder someone he still will probably just get like a three-day Suspension Isn't it crazy really that like men commit 90% of violent crimes like is that like we don't say that enough just every day That was in my first special When I talk about gun violence Yeah doing the work of the people. Yeah, because that's just a crazy Statistic 90% if only women were allowed to have guns Gun violence would be down 80% because occasionally we'd have a slip up look. I thought it was on sale You said it was on sale now you're saying it's not on sale. I want to return this. I can't find the receipt You're saying just in-store credit. Well now we need to pull out my gun There's a force going on and I feel like things are gonna sold out You guys thank you so much for giggling with us. Thank you for all your support during this difficult time that both of us have been Navigating you are a rock. We love you so much and also we may have some merch dropping soon Yeah, love you so much. Bye