Giggling about cigars, cabaret, and compression socks

what's up gigglers gary fix the wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed i mean the day just got away from me hello my gigglysaurus rexes let me just say i was like page can we get the party started i need to complain about something and she goes i have to complain about you with her long ass finger she goes yo so now i'm scared alone no one's on my side what did i do what i do besides pull out my own back i'm gonna tell you exactly what you did on the pod last week you said oh do you ever dream about exes and i was like i haven't dreamt about an ex in 10 to 15 years like it's just not something that happens to me i woke up this morning cursing i laid in bed i go that fucking bitch not only did i dream about the worst ex i've ever had in my life he came up to me with a knife and said if you don't if you don't kiss me if you don't stop i'll kill you oh stop what we don't know hopefully it's not one of those dreams that's like a marvel movie where there's a new one every night and it like continues the plot maybe we'll see what happens well you want to know what's crazy is the only way the only reason i got out of the dream was something in real life woke me up and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die woke me up kitty saved you like a sound like woke me up and i was like oh my god i was just having the weirdest dream and then i didn't go back into it thank god why do i feel like it's worse when you dream good things about them like you're like oh my god he was totally perfect and then you have to like spend all day remembering all the worst memories and then you're like i could have done without that no i definitely went throughout my day today like yeah he is a sociopath in every well realm he's fucking crazy in every realm he's ruining my life also i do look like angelina jolie's cousin who like is just not should not wants to be a spy but like can't because she just like can't get her stuff together but she keeps trying out you know what's crazy is i didn't even notice you were wearing sunglasses because you see me as energy pure energy yeah i'm just like that is the vibe that's whatever her journey is today you see me by my aura colors you don't you don't process me by my aura colors you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you see um i'm not in a good mood okay am i pmsing yes but that's not it that's not the reason what was the reason the reason was look i as you guys know i pulled out my back but like somehow it's getting worse like did people know that did you say that last well i made fun of these old men playing tennis with me and then i pulled my back playing tennis with old men and i do have an l4 l5 situation i want to say situation a little bulge disc if any of the gigglers are chiropractors and it was bad and i got a i got a massage yesterday and it was going well and then the lady like pushed my knee towards my chest like as a stretch and i saw god yeah but like or satan one of the two and then i they left and i told des i'm like i can't find a position that i'm like shooting pain wait it like the massage like fucked you up more yeah oh hand like she pinched a nerve she pinched the nerve like more and then i drugged myself yeah and i was i slept all yesterday it was so peaceful like i highly recommend it and then this morning i got a chiropractor appointment made des walk half an hour with me to the chiropractor because i'm not going to doctor's appointment alone that's so scary we walked well because walking is good for your back but i know i was like yeah hobbling but like i like like the drama so like yeah i'd let him get like really far ahead of me and be like babe wait yeah i'm coming also because he always has a physical ailment and you're probably used to that so now you're like roles reversed yeah we get there place is closed perfect because it is labor day and i'm like then why did they let me book an appointment he's like who did you talk to on the phone i go i don't talk to people on phones you're like i booked online i clicked appointment on this day they shouldn't have let me fucking click it so then i didn't get a chiropractor i'm still in pain and i'm alone and scared oh that's why you were like i'm ready to record the pod so you never even went to your appointment well you went and did but you didn't have it also then i'm realizing if i want to see like a real doctor you don't just go see a real doctor you have to go to another doctor to get referred to a real doctor which seems like a fucking pyramid scheme to me and have you ever tried to log into one of these doctor sites it's they're they're made up they're it's insane like i if someone approaches me and says the word portal shut no everyone's like do you have the portal have you downloaded the portal i'm like shut your bitch ass up whenever i hear portal i'm like i'll kill you why are all the portals so different none of them work can we just have a universal portal that is for medical reasons like you know when you apply to college and like i think it was like when we got to college or when we got into high school it was like one app remember it was called like the common app okay and it was like the same way you applied and like multiple schools would like take that application like come on just make it normal because the biggest issue is you have to come up with a new username and password for all these sites and they all have different extents of like what kind of password what password is it what kind of password is it what kind of password is it 14 letters i said 14 no word is 14 letters what do you think about 14 letters and then i'm not i'm past the point i just no i'm so upset and then des was like okay well if it's is it an online chiropractor appointment today and i'm like let me check the portal and then it's like can you log into the portal i'm like no can't log in so we'll never know and then it's like can't remember your password so you make a new password and then they're like can't be the old password so i have like 400 passwords in 400 portals and my back still hurts actually this is added to my back pain the only thing i know about back pain because during covid gary threw his back out like so bad he was like bedridden he almost like went crazy yeah and the number one thing that he did that he thinks fucked him up even more was like putting heat on it like that you should really be putting cold not heat okay that's good to know that like a hot pack will make it more inflamed where colds will like shrink it i was talking to des about our friendship and i was like mine and yours or yours and des's good question i'm like let's talk about us am i your best friend am i your best friend no but we're talking about giggly squad and i was like page because sometimes he likes checking in with like where your head's at with stuff oh no that's a slippery slope you know and i go page is doing well and i'm like you know she wants to do giggly squad like forever yeah and he was like really i'm like no no she jokes all the time about like but what what else we're gonna do would i talk to about stuff going on in my life and i was like we're literally gonna be like welcome to giggly squad this episode sponsored by arp yeah we're so excited to have you and i'm like she has a new line of dentures coming out like we've planned we have the future set like don't worry about us i don't think we give ourselves enough credit that like through different phases in our lives and granted we've only had this podcast for five six years so like six years i feel like there's not that much different you'd be surprised but i feel like we do talk about things like a perfect example is nipple hair who's out here talking about real stuff are you saying we're changing the game no i'm just saying like the day that we become mothers or like mothers of teenagers or like business women that do like the girls will relate we're growing together yeah we need to continue speaking our truth through all the stages des told me something crazy and i'm sorry for bringing him up twice this episode so far but he said something crazy to me because he told me he was like your grays are showing and i'm like you don't have to tell me that like i know i just like i don't look at them so you don't have to point them out anyway and he was like i can't wait for you to be like all gray but he didn't mean it romantic way he meant it like stylish way like he was like it's gonna look good when you're like all gray and i was like i'm really upset by that no he gets me like he knows i want to because i was like i don't care like i'll fucking grow out my grays i don't give a fuck and he's like i know you're gonna look so good gray hannah no i'm not allowing it okay well i'm glad is he the ray gun husband i'm glad you two have that romantic moment get it the fuck out of both of your heads it's not happening have you like okay reba mcintyre redhead until older you are going to be an older lady who is a redhead you're lucille ball like enough you're not going gray well now i need to because you don't want me to you know who i saw on a plane recently who is actually fully gray and she does look good when i was leaving italy a giggler came up to me and we were like chatting and she was like don't look now but jane fonda's over there oh i literally i don't and i've seen multiple celebrities in airports and on planes i don't think i whipped out my phone faster than to text my mom like jane fonda's on my plane listen to this we get on the plane we sit down josephine texts me guess who i'm sitting next to i go if you say jane fonda i'm gonna freak out she goes jane fonda josephine doesn't deserve that i'm sorry josephine doesn't deserve she doesn't even know she doesn't even like she know are you ready for this she's 12 years old josephine texts her who did she text she texted like her boyfriend who's like aunt is friends with jane fonda oh i take back what i said the aunt texts jane fonda and goes you're sitting next to like my nephew's girlfriend josephine jane fonda turns to josephine and goes are you josephine and she goes yes jane fonda is a fan of josephine this is huge jane fonda is a which honestly when you meet josephine you can't not be a fan of josephine she's like i love your work your photos that you take a page in venice were iconic she was like you're so pretty and so lovely and then and then jane fonda watched the movies that josephine was playing on her uh tv the whole flight home is jane fonda a giggler no they didn't get that far wait jane fonda if you watch your documentary like not only she's an actor but then she also like created the best like workout series ever right yeah she's like a big activist she's really philanthropic why is philanthropic so hard to say is it because like our enemies are out to get us sorry we're trying to help people philanthropic is like one of those words that when you throw it around it's like just people respect you yeah wait but what's the difference between philanthropic and then like philharmonic they're too close remember we had a whole bit about the philharmonic symphony we put who was like you know we should do philharmonic but change it slightly and then it's a lot of donating to charities wasn't it the story like a girl had an orgasm at the philharmonic symphony oh my god yeah what a throwback oh my god well philanthropy philharmonic i don't know some latin thing in there one thing before we move on from my that flight to italy there's something i've been doing on long flights and i'm not kidding it's changing my life and this is like some real aarp shit now any flight over really i've been doing it on every flight but specifically ones that are like over two and a half hours i've been wearing compression socks you're an athlete life-changing you're an olympian here's the other thing i've been doing i haven't been eating on flights anymore because my stomach gets so insanely fucked up when i get off the flight for like the next 24 hours it's like bloated so i've been doing both of those things and when i get off the plane i don't feel as like swollen and just like gross see i don't have the kind of self-control to be on a long flight that offers you a meal and to look in that lady's eye and be like no i won't take i know it's really hard i know it's really hard i once was having like a full um stomach bug and i was like don't risk it being on a plane and i was like i can't say no to a free meal you want to know what i've been doing though i've just been going a little bit earlier and getting so full at the lounge or like in the airport like in italy like i just ate before and then i was fine if you want a nap it's good to eat beforehand and then pass out yeah so that's really been helping me but i'm like oh my god how old am i that i'm putting on compression socks i was like i literally put them on and i was like i must add these to the newsletter you know i thought about it actually i think i bought compression socks okay hannah so i need to talk about something that's genuinely and i mean genuinely changed the quality of my life let me guess is it a new serum or like a hair mask truly amazing guesses it's actually waymo if i don't want to see a man i just get into a waymo night is over i'm relaxed time for a psa on waymo it's about time raise your hand if you've ever had a bad experience in a car service situation i could write a book i've gotten out of them i pull over that's why waymo gives us peace and calmness after a long night to take care of ourselves take me home safely and i don't have to check a box if i want to talk or not it doesn't exist we're never talking we don't want to talk a life hack at the end of the night when you're exhausted tired and scared because it's dark out yeah is to get a waymo to take you home safely it is a really good life hack because it actually eliminates so many different things you worry about so it's actually like at the top of my life hack list along with like all the things i bring to a hotel room when you get into ride shares you're normally so stressed our biggest life hack is dealing with waymo over random strangers in cars i mean at that point i'd rather get my own driver's license and figure it out and that's a scary thought but we also love to de-center men and waymo kind of does it for us because we don't have a driver so we don't even have to go into the logistics of it when you're with a driver there's a mental checklist like are they going the right way are they taking me somewhere i don't want to go how is their energy are they getting road rage in a waymo i can just close my eyes take a nap and not be bothered and that's the best feeling because i do want to fall asleep maybe when i'm on my way to my destination but in other ride shares i have to stay alert i have to make sure the windows are unlocked i have to be putting them down every three seconds like what if i have to get out you have to put your friend on the phone being like do you know where i am yeah i have to tell him that my location is shared with someone else just so he knows so if you want to be unbothered and relaxed and you live in a city with waymos download the waymo app and ride and if you live in a non-waymo city sign up to help bring waymo to your city at waymo.com updates this is us being women in stem bringing waymo to the women and keeping them safe thanks to waymo for supporting this segment also i'm in a bad mood because i have the sniffles which means like i keep sneezing which is like the one thing that like really hurts my back so i've been just like cursing and laughing like i'm you are your grandpa yeah i'm grandpa also it sounds i'm going through an exorcism every time i sneeze i'm like do you think do you have allergies i never thought i had allergies yeah but i would love to say i have allergies one time i told my mom i thought i had allergies and she 100 dead ass looked me in my face and goes disorbos don't have allergies no you don't i was like okay it was like the weirdest flex as if to say that like allergies are all in people's heads it's like weak genes yeah as if we are a stronger family than like another family of allergies wait i'm so sorry but my phone is blowing up and do you know who's calling me who i don't know one of the 400 medical portals that i put all my information into also i have like a pilates class in vancouver that i took a year ago that i didn't even know about and i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm i have like a gym from albany that i belong to in college that straight up text me all the time also if you cancel a doctor's appointment they're like okay and then they continue to call you every day yeah but they won't answer you when you're trying to make an appointment but then they'll bother you for the rest of your life the medical field is crazy the medical field is really like i feel for the girls because i'm sure there's a lot of frustration happening let's discuss are you going to the u.s open tonight i don't know it is a lot and by a lot you have to put an outfit together yeah but i'm not stressed because i ordered this navy blue skirt that i didn't think was going to come until like a couple weeks but it's here now so it's like i could just wear my new navy blue skirt so i'm not stressed about it okay but also i am still very jet lagged yeah something's going on my body's just being really sensitive this past couple of weeks i don't know what's going on with me and scorpios aren't having a good time i don't know what's going on with me i don't know what's a great go of it astrologically what did it say we've just been having issues and you want to know what remember when i got my astrology read and he was like are you having the worst year of your life and i was like no well it's in the back of my head because scorpios are having like a really tough time we had a tough time this summer and we're having a tough time this fall maybe it's just in your gut because like i feel like everything else is going well maybe yeah you did a little witchcraft and you put all your pain onto me i don't think i you know sometimes i'll see things on tiktoks where it's like actual girls doing spells and i'm like okay you guys are crazy but i'll stay a little too long like have you ever seen a candle cord cutting i'm like i could go someone was talking about they'll put someone's name in their fridge nicole kidman she puts their name in their fridge to like ice them out to be like you're not part of my life anymore that gives me like a little bit of voodoo and i believe in god so like i can't i'm not even like going down that route you know god was not happy with your angel visit yeah but it's like he creates those people so i'm like you can't really be mad you gave them that those powers 100 i do need to see a psychic i feel like are you due yeah i haven't seen a psychic medium in a while okay i actually i might have a new girl but um okay i feel like i haven't gotten like a year i have to speak about the open um what that way i wanted to ask you that something well everyone's coming for influencers yeah i wanted to see what your take was okay my take was that it was one video yeah one video of these influencers that spoke when they're not supposed to speak they were like singing something and okay This is not, like, a real issue. I've watched every single match at the U.S. Open. No matches are, like, struggling. There's more fans than ever. Also, a guy was smoking weed during Sabalenka's match. No one's talking about that. I saw that. That's crazy. So I think they're making it worse than it is. I do think if people want to know, like, with tennis, you're not supposed to talk during the point. You clap after the point, and then you're supposed to be pretty quiet during the point. But I do think the influencer story is very click-baity, but it's, like, gone crazy. Like, everyone's talking about it, and I'm telling you, if it's a thing, it would be happening every match. This was one match in particular, but I also do have a soft spot for, like, new female fans that I don't want to be afraid to go to tennis. Whenever there's new fans in anything, it takes a second to, like, understand it. Yeah. But I feel like the smoking weed thing was fucking crazy. I feel like that's so disrespectful. I was like, As someone who thinks that weed should be legal, because I think alcohol is way worse, I think there are certain. You wouldn't light up a cigarette in the middle of Ash Stadium. This isn't the 80s on an airplane. Why would you ever light up a joint at the. I think that's so gross. Also, you guys know me and my mom. We hate cigarettes. We'll be walking down the street. If someone's smoking a cigarette, my mom will go. Like, she's so. It really is kind of crazy how people. How, like, back they are. It makes me so upset. I do. Every influencer posting smoking cigarettes, why are you doing it? Like, what's the reason why? Because you want a young person that is influenced by you to be influenced to kill themselves? I feel like Instagram is almost leaning a little bit more like Tumblr days. Okay. And I think there's a certain age group that's like. But it's kind of like. It's very early 90s. It's like it's just in our hand. This really makes me upset. No, I know. No, I know. No, the other day I saw a 13-year-old girl like on TV in full makeup and I got really upset by it. I was really upset. I want to know your thoughts. Okay, Des and I went to a, like, cabaret burlesque show. Were you out on Saturday night? I went out. Because I looked at your location. I go, this is not where her apartment is. Where is she? I went out. I was wearing, like, a, like, crazy top and capris. You know what's crazy? We went from not having each other's locations a couple months. A couple months ago to now straight up stalking. I landed. Guys, I landed in America. Like, my phone gets Wi-Fi. My first text is, Hannah, welcome back. No, okay. I swear to God, I actually wasn't stalking you. I went to text you, which is, like, every 10 minutes, and it said Queen. So I was like, hello, welcome back. I was in Italy. I'm literally walking into Gucci. My brother calls me. I go, do you have a goddamn tracker on me? I was texting you on the, on the plane and I was like, you're right above Dublin right now. And he goes, wow, you're in Ireland. I'm like, what? So we go to this burlesque show, first of all. How did you think? How was that your idea for a date? Like, who came up with the idea that it'd be? I wanted to go to this restaurant. And then the restaurant was like, at this restaurant, there's a burlesque show. And I'm like, we can't eat or not go to the burlesque show. Yeah. And then I was like, I don't want to do anything on Saturday night, but I'll watch other people do shit on a Saturday night. So, and he was like, I think because the comedy world, he actually would do a lot of festivals. So he became friends with like the circus people kind of. They're like the people that do like Cirque du Soleil and like they do all this crazy shit. So he, I don't know. He's like, knows whatever. I don't know about that. He knows flexible people. Remember when, isn't it crazy to think of like insults from like back in the day? Like an insult used to be go join like the carnival. Like, oh, she joined like the circus. So the circus is actually like really hot people that are really good at dancing and they're super flexible. They can put like fire down their throat, but also like, I can imagine they're all just like having crazy sex. You're not that flexible and not having threesomes. Like that's like me getting mad when hot people aren't in relationships. If you're that flexible and you're not, you have to be polyamorous. If I could put my leg behind my head, I'd have three boyfriends. So you have to do more for the people. Yeah. Like you can't just leave it to one guy. Share your talents. Also, why do they always talk about how the girls have to be flexible? Why can't the guys be flexible? Yeah. I don't guess. I'm sure they are. Yeah. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like half the places I go. 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If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash giggly. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash giggly. Run your business smarter with Square and get started today. I become a sleazy man when I'm there. Like, because like this saxophone player comes up, I'm like, take off your shirt. Why is this guy's shirt on? I didn't pay you to watch a guy with fucking zipped up to the neck. Take your fucking shirt off. Does this like calm down? And I'm like, no, this is like, it's not a strip club. It's a classy burlesque. But eventually he took his shirt off. I looked at does. I was like, thank you. And then the girls, you can't help. Like they're all wearing like thongs and they're dancing and they're late. They're all over the place. Yeah. The only thing I kept thinking about was like, how do they shave so well? Yeah. Not one hair out of place. My thing is, are they taping or doing? Some type of like stickiness of to for the thong to keep their vagina in. Cause like, okay, if you're wearing a thong and you're moving all crazy, at some point, the thong is going to move a little and you're just labia out. So they must, they have to tape it down or something. And they're changing outfits. Like it's crazy. And they're so physically fit. Like they're just pure athletes. These girls are amazing. Also the singer. I was just going to say, are they singing? Are they singing? So there's one girl who sings and she like hosts the show. She's doing crowd work. She's unbelievable. And this is coming from someone who's been to the VMAs. I've been to American music awards. She sang live better than half the people on those shows. There's so many fucking talented people on this planet who aren't famous, which is crazy. Cause everyone's famous. What was the demographic in the crowd? Like who are you sitting with? It was just like couples. Like it was very date night, but like some older men and younger women, me and Des, but okay. This is the only drama. Do you think anyone thinks you're a sugar baby? Yes. Or like second wife and second wife energy. Oh, okay. If he was uglier, I think people would think like sugar baby. Yeah. But instead it's giving like, he's trying a new flavor. Yeah. Um, okay. So this guy sits next to us and I, I try not to be judgy, especially of men. I give men so much grace. He sits down. The waitress goes, how are we feeling? And he goes hungry and thirsty. Okay. Immediately. I'm like, I hate this man. And then she goes, what would you like to eat, sir? And he goes, well, the lady would like, I feel like he was trying to be funny, but that was crazy. He's like ordering for her. The lady would like this. I'm like, I just don't like this man. And then when she turns around, he pulls out a vape. Oh, I thought you're going to say he's going to slap her ass. I was like, it's a salt. Pulls out a vape. It was like one of these also like bad flavors, like strawberry, melon that you're like this. This could like start a car. Like we're all glowing in the dark after this. This is fully Chernobyl. Yeah. He fucking hits it, turns in our direction and blows it at us. Next thing you know, I'm inhaling. It tastes so, I taste it in my mouth. I'm like, so then I pull a mom and I go, and Des is looking at, Des is like, do not. I'm like, I would never say that, but this is crazy. And he's like, this is illegal. Like it's crazy. He does it again. That's, - It's crazy. - Crazy. So then mid-show, No, then I start to get worried that Des might, like, say something. Because, like, I don't want Des to have to, like, scare him or something. Yeah. So then the guy apparently turned to Des and said, I'm sorry. Like, apologize for it. But, like, it's wild in these streets. How old is this guy? 57. Hannah, if someone didn't know your age and they just listened to this episode of the podcast and all they heard was that, like, your back is out, you're a chiropractor, you couldn't figure out the portal because technology. You're totally against smoking, especially in public places. How dare they? And I don't understand how vapes work. And you went to a burlesque show because that used to be your only form of entertainment 40 years ago. We're only in our 30s. We don't even have kids. No, I'm so much younger than I am in my heart. Yeah. And I had a drink. Oh. I have a drink. I turned to Des. I go, do you know what alcohol tastes like? Rubbing alcohol. He goes, alcohol tastes like alcohol. Yeah. I'm like, it tastes like a fucking, like a laundry detergent that I'm about to use to, like, clean someone's floor. No, it's not good. It's really not good. Alcohol is bad. You know what I tried? Where was I that I was like, maybe, maybe I have a taste for this now. And I was like, you guys are psychotic. Was it whiskey? Whiskey? Whiskey sour? No, it was just like, it was just like a glass with ice and brown. It was either scotch or whiskey. And I just like took a sip and the guys are, they're lying. This is how I know men lie. I'm like, there's just no fucking way you sit here and you sip this all night and you're like, this is a good drink. Well, that's my question about cigars. You're not even inhaling. How do you love it so much? It gives you a head high. It gives you. It gives you like a buzz. Well, you've never smoked a cigarette, so you wouldn't know that. And I didn't even mean to sound like an eighth grade bully. I didn't. That's not how I meant it. She goes, maybe try Sears. Okay. No, but I'm saying like the first time you smoke a cigarette and you feel the buzz of what it is, you're like, oh, that's why people smoke cigarettes. Like, I think maybe the first time I ever tried a cigarette, I was like 18. I was like in college and I was like, I don't get it. I would have been so mad at you if I was there. I was. I was like, I don't get it. Like, this is like stupid. I would have been like, Paige, can I talk to you for a second? Then if I'm then I think I was like in my 20s out at a club. I was drunk. I smoked a cigarette. I got a head high and I was like, oh, this is why people do it, because it makes you feel like a little woozy for a minute. And then you like go back to. So that's what like a cigar does. It gives you like a little head high. Well, because they just want a cigar lounge where they all can sit together and like suck on these very phallic. Like, why are they so big? Like, they're like, what if we made a cigarette, but it was bigger and fatter and you could just like suck on it all day. But I mean, I mean, I was going to kill you. So he's going to literally get every time I record the bond. Joe goes, what did you guys talk about? And I go, I don't know. I literally blacked out. I'm going to remember today. I mean, I mean, and then like the way they judge you. They judge each other's cigars. They're like, how expensive is your cigar? Yeah. Oh, also one more U.S. Open thing. Carlos Alcarez, who I just have to say, looks great with his hair long, his hair pushed back. It looks so good because he had like kind of a razor cut for a while. He grew it out while he was injured. He's come back. And Nike's doing this like basketball type of campaign with all their clothes. So he wears this jersey and the whole first round, his nipples out. Like he hits a winner. And his nipple. Like, you know, when you go to sleep with a tank top and you wake up with a tit out. That was how he played the entire match. Yeah. And the girls and the gays, we were like, shout out Carlos. Like, yeah. Sashay through this match. You look gorgeous. And he was like a slow-mo forehand. Then just like his nipple perfectly popping out. Imagine if he had it pierced. You know. Sexy. But like also these guys like take their shirt off every like three games. Like it's not that crazy. But then the second round, he had an undershirt on. Do you think people like said something? I think maybe he got self-conscious. I think he got self-conscious. Or maybe Nike was like, hey, your nipple is getting more attention than the fit. I don't know what happened. But they asked him in an interview and he kind of was like. Oh, so Nike's anti-nipple injury. But it was fun for a game. For a minute. For a minute. But now he's covering his nipples. But the girls are going off with fashion at the open. Have you seen any? Like the actual players? Like Taylor Townsend, Naomi Osaka. I saw Naomi Osaka. She had like Tom Brown put something together. I think Law Roach is styling her. So they have these like runway walks on. I like that. Yeah, it's it's fun. That's fun. Yeah, it's really fun. Especially because I feel like. The U.S. Open is always around fashion week and it's in New York City. I'm surprised the U.S. Open isn't in like Florida. You know, it's historically it was in Queens on. Grass court. So I think it just evolved from there. But but yeah, there's a trillion tennis courts in Florida, right? I feel like it just like gives tennis to me. I think Florida, I don't know why golf and tennis. I think Florida, if you go tonight, you could say that to someone. I'm not going to say, hey, why are you in Florida? Why don't we just pack this shit up? Move to Florida. Well, they would have more room, I would assume more people would be able to get tickets. I think half the reason people get were so mad at influencers this year is. Oh, like the second matches, because they were going so late. You could see a lot of the boxes were done. They were empty, which brands have the boxes, which bring in the influencers. So I think like a lot of fans feel like they get priced out each year. Yeah. And then there's empty seats. And I think that annoys them not to defend all women, but like get mad at the brand. That's also a lot of these corporate boxes. They send an email out to the company like, hey, who wants to go to the U.S. Open? No one wants to go. And then they have these empty boxes, which is that's the brand's problem. But the brands are paying tons of money for these boxes. So the U.S. Open is going to take it. Yeah. It's not always the women's fault. Not always. Not always. Not all women. No, truly not all women. You love when the umpire tells everyone to shut up. Oh, shut up. Oh, because because I respect power, you know, and so when I see a woman have power, I go, go off, girl. So I like when the umpire is a woman and she's over as people should. And when she says, Shh, I'm like, she goes, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, sir. In the corner. I'm going to have to have you stop. Thank you. Did you see the guy umpire that kept saying deuce really weird. So then the crowd would say it back to him. Really weird. Not to defend a man. But like. He had a low baritone voice and they were making fun of his voice and it made me feel bad because he talks like this. But that's like so New York. I feel like. I know. Also, like, let New York, New York. Like, it's chaos. New York can't be managed. No, they can't. Also, don't give us honey deuces up the asshole and expect us to be quiet the whole time. These people are. There's a keg of honey deuce. And then it's like, why is everyone not silent? So going to frat party and be like, it's a library now. Wait. Do you see all this stuff about the college, like, run club? Oh, everyone's mad. All the millennials. The millennials are mad. And I hate to say this after saying I don't condone drinking or smoking, but part of college is blacking out and finding your way home like that is your first lesson of life. Being in a foreign land with just 20 year olds running everywhere, you're puking. You don't even know your name. I don't think you realize what college is. I don't think you realize what college is for until you get out in the real world and it sucks. Yeah. It's basically like life gives you these four years to, like, fuck around and, like, understand that you're about to be an adult soon and shit's going to get really hard because then when you get out, you're like, what the hell is this? Well, because when you're in college, it's not a problem. It's cute. Right. When you do that shit during college, you're just like growing and learning about yourself when you do it. When you're 32. Yeah. When people start having meetings, interventions. As much fun as college was, I don't think either of us would ever choose to go back to that age. No. It's quite draining. It was really scary. I was so scared. Yeah. But, like, I feel like I look better now, too. Oh, yeah. No. So scary. Because. Yeah. It's so scary. Also, I've aged myself to the point that someone messaged me like a dating question and I couldn't help them because I was, like, aged out. Like what? Someone was like, hey, I'm on this dating app and I saw my coworker and I swiped on him and he hasn't responded. So I deleted the app and, like, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, I'm be so real with y'all. I haven't swiped in 10 years at this point. So I don't know how the app works anymore. But normally, like, he wouldn't know you swiped unless he swiped on you. But, like, I don't want to get into it and be like, tell me the updated algorithm of how, like, this app works. Oh, like she was asking, like, did he see it? Yeah. she yeah but she also like i just couldn't help her because i don't know how the apps works we're anymore because i know how it worked in like 2018 right that was my shit yeah no i don't know how that i don't know how any of the apps work either but also trying to think what i would do if i saw a co-worker would i swipe on them or not i feel like i wouldn't it depends if you're office crush yeah this is the move i remember if i saw anyone i knew on the app i would swipe right to be like haha like you know you're like oh i know that that guy wait why is this like i feel like i this was just on love island and they were like yelling at one of the girls for like swiping and she was like i just like saw him i wasn't trying to like talk to him oh i love your point which it was she was like a haha like i feel like when i was roommates with dave and cory when i'd see one of their friends on the app you'd swipe so you could message them on it and be like haha you're stupid you haha i bet no girls want you what the fuck are you doing here you lonely asshole have you watched anything okay there's stuff coming up and something i did watch it's called welcome to the family on hulu that if i didn't drug myself yesterday i would have finished it is incredible it's about this husband who gets murdered and they realize that this woman's family might be behind this murder i saw this commercial it's basically like be careful who you marry into which reminds me of my joke which it's like they say you marry the man you don't marry the man you marry the man's family and i said not if you time it right he does his family's dead um just his parents not his whole family he has siblings but this is one of those things where like the the parents hated her husband yeah and they were like gonna do anything they could to get him out of her life and there's also the brother that's involved and you hear phone calls of the brother and the mom talking about how how much they hate that guy it's basically like we love a close family as italians and it's like i know so many families like this and everyone talks about like gossiping within your family's fun but to actually be like let's put a hit on let's kill let's kill that other family is insane you know what's crazy is like how do you find that many people that have the same mental illness as you you mean like nosiness no like how does how is the whole family that crazy that they're like john just came up with the best idea you're gonna want to hear it and then they hear it and they're like that's the best idea let's murk this whole family well the thing with families is they do enable each other and a lot of times they have the same genetic issues and i find with some of these crazy families there's always one black sheep and they don't have the same genetic issues and they don't have the same genetic issues they do they have one guy who was like fuck this family one of the brothers that's like he moved like across the country and doesn't talk to them and he's gonna ask questions and he's like well they're fucking crazy but i didn't think they were capable of this right so they're very interesting also nathan fielder has a documentary coming out with elizabeth holmes who's the one person that i'm actually really good at doing an impression of that actually is really good i'm so excited i thought that show with amanda seyfried was so good i thought the documentary about her was so good i can't wait to watch this and this is right before she goes to jail or right when yeah right before she goes to jail and he's trying to like is she still in i'm not sure but he's trying to understand her like is she crazy is she evil is she both and she's looking at him and she's like i'm just trying to do the best i can yeah he says something like are you being real right now and she's like i'm always being real i'm always being very real very eerie also nathan fielder doing documentaries sign me the fuck up that sounds very interesting yeah last on my list this has been out for a while but the gig was recommended it to me it's called some kind of heaven and it's basically like college for retired people which is something i i love like imagine once you retire you go to one of these communities and it's literally like partying and like fun clubs and like pools and like sex and like it's basically college but you're done with life and but you're like 75 yeah but then it talks about like the underbelly of it and how like people are mean and catty and like the drama of this like retired club i wonder if they're like doing drugs for sure for sure yeah there's definitely people abusing drugs and like getting fucked up everyone's addicted to painkillers that is so great this is a documentary or like it's a documentary about like what's actually going on at one of these retirement places that goes a little too crazy i mean stds are thriving that's crazy okay i want to watch that kind of how many episodes i'm not sure i have to look into it um also i have to apologize to the community we were talking about like how we used to have so many hot guys as millennials and someone was like you guys missed like the hottest guys okay but he wasn't in a tv show josh hartnett what he wasn't in a tv show valid and freddie prince jr again not in a tv show okay i of course we had those men and i would say that they were movie stars i'm talking cw 8 p.m thursday night i want to see chad michael murray i want whoever played fucking nathan i was so into chad michael murray i want like the guy who played jess in gilmore girls he's like really famous now see that's the thing about milo whatever i love a blonde and that's my toxic you're sick i don't think people know that when chad michael michael murray came out i was like um that's everything makes sense everything makes sense yeah that's how stephanie was she like loved him when he was in freaky friday i loved him in freaky friday see i thought miscast i watched freaky friday and i go i'll missed cast i didn't find him that he was tall and dumb and blonde i loved it he was just like hey these men also had no lines they had no lines in all these movies they were just like what's your name except in gilmore girls um the one blonde boyfriend that she had not dean not jess what was the other guy's name every guy named dean who was dean or ethan was like the name of every single boyfriend oh my god wait the 2000s this is actually like i can't i feel like i should go to the hospital that i don't know this i don't know i don't know i don't know i could book an appointment for you if you want logan oh my god logan hunsberger that he was my favorite boyfriend i always wanted her to end up with him but because like he was a bad boy and he like had a lot of money and so he would like take her to cool places and i loved him and he was blonde it's like the aiden versus big debate yeah like you loved big yeah but this is my thing i didn't like that aiden was like an artist he like did furniture i was like i don't i didn't mind that i didn't like that aiden was like a so dramatic and like emotional yeah he was always like shut up and your country house fucking sucks like why would i want to be in a country house when big could put me in a goddamn limo up to a penthouse like the thing he was whiny he was whiny but really that my favorite character of all time in sex in the city is the girl that big married and cheated on natasha she's the sheikest she was the prettiest i well she's i loved her the most she's tom brady's ex-wife in real life you know that speaking of tom brady i watched the earl show the whole plane ride home from my flight this episode is definitely themed because i felt very old like even though i there were certain things like i could relate to being on reality tv and there were like certain things that i could like pick up on there was like a moment where like the one sister ashton says like i'm 23 and i was like oh no this is a small little girl like and people are being mean to her like i it made me it made me upset that things that they're feeling about being in the public eye i didn't feel until i was like 28 29 and i'm and i was just like i feel bad that they they're feeling it right now and there's people that are so jealous and mean to them also they're at the point where like that first heartbreak i heard she talks about braxton like yeah when you're in your early 20s and you have that first heartbreak it feels like the end of the world right like i wanted to hold her and be like babe yeah i'm not gonna remember him i also give the girls the two older like alex and ashton i give them a lot a lot of credit for how mature they are in terms of having a stepmom and like a whole their dad having like a whole second family they're so respectful to their stepmom and like mature in like their situation i just thought it was so commendable like i would i could never at 33 i could never like certain things the stepmom said to alex if i had a stepmom and she ever said that to me i no no like there were certain conversations and i was like what did you just say to her and i will never call you mom i just i was like i would never be this nice to someone who did something so crazy to my mom so i like commended them for that there's a lot of people online who love to hate influencers i've seen things just like making fun of whatever like a blonde influencer yeah alexa is smarter than an influencer than the majority of people like she's fucking smart like say what you want about her but don't say she's this dumb annoying influencer she's a marketing genius like yeah we're just doing the kardashians all over again it's like what do they have real talent uh okay they do my sweet sweet girls there's they're smart they're strategic and very smart like this isn't an accident that she's been able to grow her career you know yeah a hundred percent but it was like a good it was a cute reality show i think it's only like eight episodes i watched i think i finished it on the plane but it was good yeah that's awesome i have to dig in even though i have trouble with reality sometimes yeah it's actually it's not for you oh because it's not as it's not as explosive as like a bravo show like there's really not that much drama i also have a feminist moment i was just thinking about husbands and wives you know how in the past like husbands would be like my wife is nagging me my naggy wife my wife's nagging me we have to take that word back and say it about husbands like when your husband or your boyfriend knows you'd be like can you stop nagging me yeah okay let's just try it out for a bit like really nag like it's not it's not i don't think anyone's ever said that to me they've said much much worse i feel like a nagging would be like subdued for what i typically get sounds peaceful it sounds dare i say motivational dare i say supportive that i care i get more along the lines of evil witchy you know i get things that are quite more diabolical oh god anyway i'm making everyone a better person around me mental health moment of the week i was like scrolling on tiktok and occasionally something about me will come up oh but occasionally it's something like nice like some there's been funny stuff about my mouth going around every once in a while you're like that made me chuckle and i looked and i saw that you had reposted it what was it i don't know but it was just a nice tiktok video about me and i was like that's my fucking best friend like it made me so happy oh i think it might might have been something about your lulu lemon me or something about my mouth i know something that it was like really cute and then it just had like pages so burry post i was like that's my girl right there i think i know what it was i think a girl said hannah still can't move her mouth so we have six more weeks of summer that was so funny i said more people need to see this because this is hilarious i probably didn't fully remember i was like it was something complimented my fashion or something i forgot and you were like no she was making fun of your smile and it was so good um but just spreading awareness for funny women i appreciate yeah appreciate it um now i literally forgot about my smile because my whole fucking back is out honestly i'm so over i don't even think about it anymore i know and like it's you know i'm like this is hannah i thought it's bad but it's almost it's it's getting better it's getting better but now i'm like past the point it's like not that funny anymore it's just like slightly off we're getting to the point where people are like okay is it gonna wear off like we get it you can't smile i'll get a new fucking bit um no we love you guys so much thank you for giggling wait i have one question before we go yeah for the fall are you gonna do some type of red like what are we doing with your hair for the fall i'm gonna send inspo pecs you think i no i just think we need to amp it up and get and do like a diff a fall yeah i think i want a deeper red you guys see like i'm getting off the call and she's like and real quick we're gonna we're gonna change your brand uh can i see your roots very quick real quick we're gonna have to change everything but i want i think for the fall i just want you a little more fire enginey red oh like the summer i think you do you give more of like a strawberry red and i think this fall i want something a little deeper okay we'll talk we'll offline you're my you're literally my creative director you're like it's not working but we'll fix it don't worry have a good day bye okay love you guys talk to you later