Giggling about blondes, blazers, and body counts

(upbeat music) - Subdegrees. - Very, fix your Wi-Fi. - Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. (laughing) (upbeat music) - I'm in the day just got away from me. - Okay, I do have a cat behind me. That's Boots. - We are very bring your pets to wherever. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Do I have better lighting than you this episode? - Yeah, it looks like we're like also-- - Do you ever wash your life? - Laptop, and then you're a Frazier, like everyone's staring at your tit. - No, never. - Oh. - Like on a Zoom, wash my laptop. I don't think I've done that. - Oh. (laughing) - Like with you, yeah, but like in a Zoom, have I ever been like, hold on a second? - No, I don't think so. - I've like 30 minutes into a Zoom, be like, wait a second. (laughing) Is there dirt on my face right now? I actually did something so, I had to say Hannah coated, but I was texting you that your outfit looks chic and it kept auto correcting to chicken. Wait, when, I didn't even realize that. - When I was typing it, I kept having to be like, I'm not saying chicken, I'm saying chic, and my phone was like, you mean chicken? - Well, speaking of being chic, we were gonna record in person today, but I was having an outfit crisis. And then my mom texted me, one of the meanest things she's ever texted me before. I texted her like a picture of an outfit, and she goes, I just think everyone will make fun of you. (laughing) - I said too late for that babe. Wait, is this the one that I liked? - The one that you like is the one that she likes. - Good. - And the other one is the one that I like. - Okay, good. - But whatever, I'll find somewhere else to wear it. I just, but you wanna know what's in my head now? Now and I feel like I'm not being brave. Now I'm like, I rather wear it and get made fun of. Welcome to my life. - Then feel as though I'm making a decision based on like, oh, it's not as good as I think it is. - When I think something's cool, I actually don't care what other people think. - Yeah. - And that is actual, that's actual like Buddhist shit. - Typically in this situation is unique because my mom is going to be at the event. That's the only reason I'd wear the one she wants. - You had to cancel the podcast because Kim sent you that text. Like you're spiraling right now. - No, I'm like waiting for a pair of pants to get delivered. As soon as the pants get delivered, a tailor is on standby so that you can tailor my outfit so that I have, here's the thing. I feel like the podcast upfronts for serious. - That's what we're stressed about. I, which I shouldn't be at all, but I feel like I'm going to a new school. - Well, this is so funny because Paige has been freaking out about the outfit because she literally was like, yeah, I don't want to look like the new like girl in school who like has a bad history from her past school. Like, it's like how many boyfriend's did you have? - I said the word, she gets my job. - I said the word, she didn't want to say. Paige slut shaming yet again. Wait, slut shaming? With and vis line on is so fun to say. Slut shaming, you say you slut shaming. I didn't realize people still slut shamed. - Yeah, no, it definitely still happens. - So you know what's funny is like when something happens where like a man does something really bad, like murder's his whole family or something. There's not that many terms to refer to him as. Like there's no bad words for guys. - Yeah, 'cause fuck boy has been given like kind of a funny cool vibe to it. - Right, like we didn't even touch on the Pete Davidson thing because we were in between like recording. I actually was processing it. It took me a second. I had like a volatile reaction. - Well, Wall Street was in my process. I was like, I was like, oh, there's not even a term for a guy who like any woman, you could be like, she fucked her way to the top in any industry. There's no freeze for that for men. Like there's nothing for them about the women they date. Now, let me just say I stand with the stand up comedy community. I stand with New Yorkers. I stand with anyone who was hurt by 9/11. - Let me just put that out there. - You know, we remember. - I never forget. - Yeah. - I don't know why Pete said that because he could have talked about so many things, but to just start attacking women for making money was like, just not cool. And also I was so random. I was like, oh, okay, I also think as a rich man, I don't get what your point is. And also like I hate telling other people that they don't do shit because you don't know other people's lives. Also, it's giving nobody wants to work these days. I don't want to work these days, but then everyone's like, Pete, what have you really been doing? - One of the weirdest things to me was, he's spoken very complimentary before about his past girlfriends. And like, how successful they are. So I was like, wait, what? - He was like, why does everyone just like talk about who my ex-girlfriends are, but then goes on to talk nicely about all his ex-girlfriends, 'cause that's what people want to hear about 'cause he's dated really incredible women. But I just have to say about the influencer things and influencer making money. I'd rather money go to influencers, like some girl in Utah trying her hardest, than the advertising money that you should just go to big businesses and go to some CEO. - Right, it's not like all this money is like made up out of thin air, like. - Yeah, this money used to just go to conglomerates and now it's being paid to like individual women. And also like, there's reeks of sexism. And I hope he regrets it. - Because it wasn't cool. - Also, you know, on the interview, the person was like, yeah, and he's like, yeah, what the, you know what, it was how he said it. He's like, what the fuck are you doing? - Like, he was mad at us. He was really mad at us for a minute. - Take that energy and put it towards the Cornell 7. - No, really. - Why are you coming for a girl doing her makeup? - He was also like, and then my daughter, she's amazing. And no, he said, I look at the photo of my daughter when I see my daughter. - I was like, okay, wait, so you love us? Why are you hate us? (laughs) - And that's why he's good. - And that's what I question every day from women. It's like, we really can't tell if you guys are obsessed with us wanna be us. Are you truly hate or got? - But one thing we can learn from him is like, his big thing was like, he's like, people don't respect me in this industry, which is like a made up thing in his head. Like, yeah, people hate him. There are people who love him. And I think we all can learn that when you constantly focus on the negativity, you're not happy. - Yeah. Let's take that with us mental health mom of the week. Also speaking of comedy, I thought of a new, I don't know if it can be a series but something I wanted to do on Giggly Squad, which is fun. - I'm open to new ideas. I've been like, up and running this morning, not physically running, but proceed. - And you kind of remind me of this 'cause I do think we make each other funnier. I think I've dated people that made me funnier. I think you've dated people that you've made funnier. It goes all the way around. I think people listen to Giggly Squad and girls who didn't realize they were funny. I feel like we've brought out a sense of humor that they always had but didn't know they could go there with. Does that make sense? - Or no one validated them. Like, how many times have we been in situations without the other one? And we've called broken down the scenario. - Bombing. - Said what the joke was and been like, and no one laughed. - And been having to about being like, no one laughed. What do you meet the amount of time? - No, like I have this role. I remember the last tennis event. Some guy was in a crutch walk down. I go, this what happens when you mess with me, no one laughed. I was like, we're having fun here. Let's have some whimsy. - Wait, didn't you do a really funny joke when you were doing that golf tournament like a couple of years ago? And there was like, there was like a bunch of men and they didn't laugh or something, but the crowd laughed. I can't remember. If I had a nickel, oh, what the rider cup? Oh, the rider cup, probably. But I wanted to tell the girls, like, I wanted to add some more like comedy advice to like, 'cause people will message me and be like, I think I'm like the funniest I've been, 'cause we're like practicing the humor, listening to Giggly Squad. And I'm like, let's step it up girls. So I wanted to just give you guys some like comedy rules that will just enhance like, do I need a pen and paper? I feel ill prepared. Well, a lot of things you guys do naturally. You just got nervous 'cause this became my school, all over again. I was like, where's my pink pencil? - I'm like, I actually-- - With my son to paper. - I was like, actually, my fingers are feeling a bit cramped and I'm not sure if I can fulfill the assignment. - You're good. And you guys, you can rewind. Oh, my mom's face timing me. Mom, I'm trying to teach a class. I need a PowerPoint. I'm surprised you didn't act in more plays. - It's 'cause I was playing tennis, but in seventh grade, I was in every play. - I was gonna say, if you had the time, would you have become more theater? - Babe, I was fully theater. I was a playwright, I was writing sketches. Do you know that my drama teacher looked at my parents and said, 'cause my parents were like, she can't do drama next year, like she's going to this tennis academy and he was like, you're making the biggest mistake. of your life. He goes, she's an artist and you're taking that away from her. And I was like, "I'm trying to get a scholarship to college, motherfucker." I feel like a tutor said that to my mom too. You're making a huge mistake. I'm not sending her to a tutor. Shout out to John McAnony, incredible. I did play an Irish prostitute who was pregnant in seventh grade. I died and it was the whole thing, but I digress. So with comedy, what's great is you can use it in your everyday life. When you're telling a story at a love mind, I was like, "When you're telling a story at a dinner party, when you're just hanging out with a friend, these are things that just enhance your vibes and make people want to fuck you or want to be your rest friend." Okay. First one, which is, people do naturally, but it's nice to know it's a rule. It's called the rule of thirds. So if you're making a list of things that annoyed you today, you do it in three. Like you don't do two, you don't do four, or if you're like, he was annoying, stupid, and I hate him. If I just say he's annoying and stupid, something feels off. If you do too many, we're bored. It's a better case. The rule of three is great. And also with the rule of three, that's where you can add misdirection. Okay. Misdirection. Oh, you're stressed right now. She got so nervous. That's MIS. That was like, I don't have my flashcards. So misdirection is if you're saying like, reasons you like to guy. And you're like, he was tall, he had blue eyes, and he was kind of mean to me. So that's a misdirection where you were expecting me to say something physical third, but I didn't. And misdirection is funny in any sense of the word. Like people think you're talking. I should have come up with more examples, but it's basically like Nikki Glazer and me Schumer are like amazing at this. Wendy Lieben is amazing at this. She starts talking about something. And then the surprise factor is what gives you the laugh because you think it's going in one way and go somewhere else. And when you know you have a good like punchline to something, adding stupid details in the beginning is great to add tension. And like sometimes I do this and sometimes it's bad, but like when I'm telling a story, I don't just say what was funny. I kind of start it with some details. So you're like, where is this going? Where is this going? Now if the punchline is it funny, then it doesn't work. But if the punchline is funny, it means you built more and more tension to make the punchline even funnier. Finally, as you guys know, ending conclusion is the callback. And the callback is something we love on the pod. It's a friend of the pod. When someone does something funny in the beginning of a dinner party, clock it in your head and don't be afraid to at the end, reference it. So if Paige said a funny joke about like a seagull ate her food, then like at the end of something happening, you'd be like, "God, there's no seagulls." Now this is instead of Botox, we're working on a personality. Yes. That was our first class. Speaking of Botox. I thought you were like, "What's going on?" No, that was really nice. I think you should do that more often. Okay. I feel like also girls just think, "No, I'm not going to get into stand-up comedy." But it could be your hobby. Well, he wants to shout out to Leanne Morgan who she was selling Tupperware, but she would do all these hangs and she said she would just tell all these funny stories and everyone loved her and wanted to go to these Tupperware hangs and then she became a stand-up comedian. But you guys, you'll be a better salesperson if you're making people laugh. You'll be better on dates, making people laugh. You're just be a pleasure to be around. And then you can go home and be sad. But like when you're in front of people, you can give them a little some tricks of the trade. You really have to laugh a certain amount of times a week to even like combat depression. I think it's so healthy. So healthy and good for your abs. Anyway, my Botox. I do think I want to do my forehead again. I'm okay with that. As long as it's above the eye. Can we talk about our Friday night? You spoil. You spoiled me to that. No. I literally, I got my came to Sorbo Martha Stewart hat on Hannah Landed. She came in. Well, first I was give, had to give you like updates every five minutes where I was, which is very mild. She was 20 minutes late. You thought you were getting robbed. Because you get a you get a jolt scare real quick. So I was like in the driveway and she like saw a person was like, oh, and I'm like, you knew I was coming. I've been texting you. You have my location. I'm not. I'm tracking you. I unbolt my door. I let her in. You have multiple bolts. You unbolt. You unbolt. You unbolt. I let her in. She has half her chicken parm and pasta. I had iced tea ready for it because she likes iced tea. Then she started her massage. Now, the massage started at 815 p.m. Mind you, I had been up the past like two days at like 5 a.m. doing whatever. So I was exhausted Friday night. I had you put on a murder doc. I put on a phenomenal murder document. Mennery. I hear her talking to the masseuse. There's your starting. Were you starting in your hips? Where'd you start? We started in the traumatic. We started in the hips. You went to lower body. I'm still awake at this point. The feet. The feet. I start dozing off. I think right when you're about to start neck and shoulders. Oh, the face. Oh, neck and shoulder. No, neck and shoulders. I'm then out. I wake up two and a half hours later. I wake up at 11 p.m. The masseuse is packing up. Hannah's sitting there having a fully out of body experience. She just had a massage for three hours. Well, it's the guy thing where she put on the documentary. And the documentary ended. I'm like, I know for a fact that documentary is an hour and 24 minutes. The way to where I'm like, you guys have to watch. But she was the kind of masseuse where she's like, we're not leaving. Until the job is done. Until the routine is clean. She was finding spots and she was like, that's not good. Let me get it. Let me watch it. She didn't smoke a cigarette. But if she could, she would have been smoking cigarettes. Because she came in just trying to undo my Botox. But then she didn't realize there was L4L5 impingements. There was hip stuff. The foot is connected to the hip. You revealed you'd sprained your ankle like seven times. I was learning things about you. I felt like it was a hip avialation. It was so funny. And then I heard your trauma of shin splints and no one believing you. No, no, no justice for shin splints. My coach was like, you know, of shin splints. That's a made-up thing. And I was like, well, my shins feel like they're burning every time you make me run. And he's like, that's so convenient. Just when you run at her, it's I'm like, yes. Hello, believe women. And then she got to my face. And this is the thing. She's incredible. Like she's a witch. But look, you can't beat the Botox. And she was getting, but did you feel? I did feel better. And she did really great fascia stuff. But I think she wanted me to look at her afterwards and give her this big, shiny smile. And she was like, she was like, move your face. She was like, okay, we're not there. But she just kept going. And I was gonna tell her to stop. She's a healer. But then can we please say, so you're asleep. And then you like, you go upstairs. So I'm like, okay, Paige is passed out. And I'm just like recovering from whatever I just went through. And I was texting. And I'm like, this perfect. It's 11 o'clock when I go to sleep. I have to wake up early anyway. Looks, you know, I hear a little. Well, I went to the bathroom. I like brushed my teeth. I really got ready for bed. And then I was like, what am I doing? We haven't even chatted. So it's 11, 15 page comes down. And I'm like, oh my God, we haven't gossiped at all. So then we go through our typical gossip. We have like a couple, we have a couple, yeah, that are like long lasting that we update or classic. Then we sleep until anything new. Then we sit to see if we forgot anything, which we 100% always do. And then by the time we're end of that, we have to start the gossip over again. And then we say, oh, we talked about that. Then we tell each other gossip, each other told each other. Then if there's time, we get personal. So like, you could have gossip about yourself. That's personal. And that's done in a whisper octave. Okay. And that's that's at the very end because that's a deep secret to secret. Oh, mind you. At some point, the dog started licking my hand and like was looking for a pretty long time. But at that point, I was like, when I like the hands dirty at this point, let them have some fun. Page is like, page is like, down dog. Page trying to control a dog is so funny. She's like, no, stop it. I'm like, everyone's getting really annoyed by you. You're like, you're embarrassing the family. You're embarrassing me. Meanwhile, can he's being perfect just sitting on the stair? Perfect. Then page tells me, go to your bedroom where she got me. She had chips, chocolate, and a water, which is perfect. I get there, not five seconds later, five, four, three, two, one. Daphne walks in, acting like she wasn't gonna walk in. - Yeah. - Like, oh, interesting, just, you're having a beer. - She's like, this is my favorite room, it's funny. That someone told you that. - I let her smell my finger. And then I know I give her the little side cheek pads, which tells a cat, I know what you like, baby. This is my first rodeo. I'll take care of you. - She immediately flops after that. - She flops, and then she jumps on the bed. And then I was like, you mind if I do a little photo shoot? I know you normally have high rates for this, but like, I'm your girl, I'm your godmother. - She's like, yeah, I love my fans. - Do you like a photo shoot? She's like, fine. Give the fans what they want. Do a photo shoot, she's laying down. She's fully posing. And then we fell asleep together. - She's the most lovely. - And then I woke up in the morning, go downstairs, Paige just passed out on the couch, and we had a nice little morning chat, and it was just beautiful. - Beautiful. It was so nice. - No, it was so much fun. No, you did make me watch an insane documentary though. - I actually got so nervous, 'cause Paige was like, what should I watch? And I was like, watch the widower, and Netflix, it's so good. And then I realized, Paige doesn't, she wants to watch a cute period piece. Don't make her watch this, but you got into it. - I got really into it, and you want to know why, because I had watched my period piece all day, and it was intense, and I had to take a break from it almost a little bit. I was watching "East of Eden" with Florence Pugh. - Is it good? - It's very good. It's just like, here's the thing. I like my period pieces. Clean, and pretty, and like, there's a princess, and she's trying to get out, and she does some crazy stuff. Like, I understand it's realistic, like a period piece, but like, when I feel like it's dirty, sometimes I can't get off of that. - No, I'm just like, I'm like, okay, but. Is one of you gonna get royal? Who's gonna become a princess? Is all you can, is it so funny? Wait, did you see there's a Disney movie coming out? A cartoon about, like, Cinderella, but from the perspective of the wicked stepsisters, and how they're not actually wicked at all. - They're actually girls, girls. - They're girls, girls, and they like have their own issues. And I'm like, yeah, like, who's actually the villain? - That was like a precursor in, like, women hating women. - Yeah, also it was only from Cinderella's perspective, so I'm really open to seeing some professionals from the evil stepsisters. Who, like, when your name is the evil stepsisters, it's really hard to rebrand. - Especially because the evil stepsisters were brubanette and a redhead, and it's like, oh, let me tell you the amount of times I've been in a situation with a lying blonde. Okay, honey. - By the way, any blonde that messages us is like, sorry I'm blonde, but I'm a good one. (laughing) - No, it's for the bit, I'm kidding. - I love blondes, you know, I like to surround myself with hot blondes. - If I could be blonde, I would be. - We can't pull it off. - No, but like, one day when I do cut my pixie, I am gonna like go blonde at some point during it. - I'm gonna be so obsessed with you, nothing I'm not already. - No, I know, it's just like things to look, here's the thing about life. You have to think of things. - There's this thing about life. (laughing) - No, it's just you give a girl a podcast. Here's the thing about life. - You have to think of things that you can look forward to. Like. - Yes. - One of my moms, I feel like pillars of raising children and I hated it all growing up, but now as an adult, I'm like, wait, I do that in my like adult life now, is like, you can't do too much too quick. Like, anytime I'd ask her to do something and she'd be like, no, that's inappropriate. Like, you'll do that in a couple of years and it'll be appropriate and you'll have the best time. And I would like freak out because my friends were allowed to do so many things. Now, when I look back, I'm like, oh my God, if I had done all of that, I would have been over it by the time I was like 20. And then you just like keep going and you keep going. So you have to like, really think of things. - You can have a dopamine burnout like Justin Bieber. - Yeah, and it's kind of like a way to romanticize your life. So like, my pixie cut is like, oh my God, I can't wait for like, is that girl that is like, yeah, let's do it today. Like, what is she gonna be like? What's her life look like? And it's fun for me to make up scenarios in my head. - And you're so Nana, not to get morbid, but my Nana, who's like 83 at this point. She loves when I tell her me and you have something going on or I have something going on. Like when we had Radio City, she was like, oh good, I have something to look forward to. I'll live a little bit longer. I won't get an outfit and I'll get my hair done and I'll make sure I last till then. So then I have to keep doing that so she keeps living. It's a lot of pressure. - Now, you have to be aware of men that do that, though, in relationships with vacations. That is a manipulative tactic to keep you in because they think if you've agreed to something in the prior coming months, beware. - You know what's create, I did have a guy very early on say like, we should and I said some crazy vacation. And it's like, not once, did even go on Expedia.com. - Right, because then when you wanna break up with them, they throw like, we're supposed to go on vacation in like two months, am I just gonna cancel that? And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about anything that's planned. You could have planned a full wedding. I don't care. - Breakups, vacations, weddings. All of, having a baby, there's no good time. - Yeah. - You just do it or you don't. 'Cause when I've like post-pone breaking up with guys and then I realize like, there's an excuse every weekend if you want. - Every time. - I'm like, no, just do it, I have to do it. - I did once wait for my mom to go on vacation to do it 'cause like my mom liked this one guy for me and I was like, he can't be involved in this mom. I didn't wanna ruin her vacations with Inteller and then he got back and I was like, oh, he's out and she was like, thank you for not telling me when I was having like a margarita on the beach. - I actually would love to hear how you break up with someone because I feel like your style would be so like. - Breakup style. - Yeah, like I feel like your breakup style is like, okay, look, like you're gonna figure your life out and eat. - Oh, I go full life coach. - Yeah, like I feel like you're like, you are so good at this, this, and this. You give like a scenario and then you're like, but you have to take me out of it. - I've had multiple like actually very sad breakups where I'm like, you are great. - Yeah. - We're not gonna get married. - Yeah. - Anything that was bad was just like weird situation ship ship. - Yeah. - I'm not mad at anyone. I just, I'm like, here's some tissues. This is not going to work, but it's hard. But it's mature and then I don't message them ever again. I just started laughing because, remember when we were watching that documentary and the guy came on the screen and he goes, this is a psychotic person. This is an evil person and I just got me after breaking up. - This is the page though, is when she's with someone, she is so loving and so caring and like can't see it and the second she's out of it. She's like, why don't you tell me that? And I'm like, babe, 'cause I'm supportive. - No, yeah, where I feel like when I break up with someone, I'm like, you need real doctors to help with this. I can no longer be of service to you. I think you're dangerous. I've been scared. - I've been scared. - I've been scared, I've been scared. And no, it's certainly not me. - I'm perfect. - Well, I feel like once you really know someone, once you, what is that, is that a long story? - Sorry about that, yeah. - For what? - Just in case anyone passes by. - Wait, so when anyone walks by your house, you have a-- - It gets recorded. - You know what, you can never be too safe or sorry. - No, as I get older and older, I'm like, you can never be too safe. - She's holding a sword right now, you guys. - You can never be too cautious. - Wait, actually, I randomly got an axe in like a gifting thing and I looked in and I go, yeah, I'll put this by my best. - Gifts did you, and this was like a whole thing, don't even-- - Wait, your birthday present is me just giving you like a samurai sword. - Yeah. - Okay, you're gonna love this. - I haven't watched Bravo since COVID. - And you basically really can, you have to watch the Real Housewives of London. Now, this is a thing about the London girls. They're British. So this is a different brand. Like this doesn't remind me of anything. I'm not having any PTSD. Also, you talked about this on the Kardashian pod. What they're fighting about is so not relatable. - Yeah. - It's beautiful. Can you give some examples? - Obviously, they all get invited to different things in different events and red carpets. And they claim that you didn't get a personal invitation to bucking a pad for it. - You paid for it. - You bought a ticket to it. Or you went into a store you asked if you could borrow dresses. You didn't just buy the dress. - My favorite is, she doesn't own a castle. She owns a-- - She's the largest stakeholder. - She's a stakeholder. And stop telling people you own a castle. - You know what my mom's phrase for it is, shining shit. - Oh. - It's a really good phrase for like, when I explain it. - It's basically like, whenever someone is doing something that's like a routine thing or like, yeah, okay, it's not that impressive. They twist it to make it sound like it's 10 times more impressive. When in reality, you could be something, doing something way more impressive, but you're just like, it's whatever, 'cause you're like being humble. So my mom would always say like, yeah, he shines shit and makes it seem like he's like the best. And that's what they do. - They're obsessed with being ladies. Like, they'll be like, yelling at each other at times and they're like, you're not a lady. I'm a lady. You're not a lady. And no one thinks you're a lady. And everyone's talking about how you're not a lady and you keep your legs, you're the longest legs in London, but the widest legs, 'cause you're not a lady. - But like also at what age? Well, one at what age does slut-jaming start? Start getting impressive. She's 60 and getting dick whenever she wants. - I'm like, wait, that's amazing. - 'Cause at what I feel like I stopped caring, I stopped caring the last time a man asked me like my body count. I was like, would you just ask me? And I made him feel like a loser for asking, 'cause that's like a loser question. And I think that's the last time I cared, what anyone ever said about like a sexual, but I'm like, what? Like you're freak. - You guys asking your body count is crazy. What is it on TikTok? Someone had a great, oh my God, they had a great response to it. When a guy says, what's your body count? Say, same as your mom's. - Yeah. You know what I said to my mom the other day? I was like, on paper, I'm like a better man than every man. (laughing) - Okay, Taylor Swift. - I literally was like, I've had sex with more people than you. - Okay. - Okay. I'm your mother. - With the real ladies of London. - Yeah. They're so funny, 'cause they love, like, impressing each other with things. And they're so mean to each other. And, you know, that season two is out right now. And I had-- - I'm so excited. - Well, I had to download my VPN because I have to watch it illegally, because it's not available in America yet. - I kind of want to watch the traders UK, 'cause my friend, comedian, Joanne McNally, is on it. - I heard it's really good. - I just think British and British, the London girls, everything they say is so much meaner. But they also, like, I mean, it was like, you're a criminal. - Yeah. - Like, no, you're a criminal. You hate your husband. - Yeah. - You live in a swamp. - No, I'm not like you. You live in a swamp. - Back to Paddington, back to Paddington. - No, it's, it's insane. - And then the one American girl is like, so Chicago, she's just like, what are you talking about? - She's just like, she's how I feel like I would react in that moment too. I just like, wait, what are you saying? Like, you look crazy not me, you know? She's so genuinely flabbergasted. - They're so mean though, that like, they just keep getting over it, 'cause they're all so mean to each other. Like, every episode, they're like, you can't with the low blows. And she's like, I'm so sorry. And the next one's like, you're ugly, and so is your child. (laughing) - They do sometimes bring their kids into it. Yeah, the one was like, you're a bad mother. - She was like, oh my God. - But it's also like, it's not even the fight. That was just like a side part of it, just dropping that. It's crazy. - Speaking of the outfits, I actually do think a lot of them dress poorly. Like, I'm actually shocked by a lot of their outfits. I really think Juliette hands down dresses the best. - Well, Juliette is like the influencer of the group. I like that some of their styles are consistent though. Like, you know one of them loves patterns. Juliette, the other Juliette, and she's mixin' 'em. She's mixin' 'em, she's mixin' 'em. Yeah, may, Juliette, may you. And she's like, stop calling yourself the queen. You're not a queen. And she's like, I'm royal highness. Oh my God, it's so fine. In season two, they're like, she says she's an actress. She's like, all these things, and they're like, you're reliant. No, it's just so good. You have to watch it. - It's so good. - I think British humor is just so much more and not take yourself seriously, where I feel like American humor. It's like, wait, is that gonna offend someone? Is someone gonna get their feelings hurt? Where brits are kind of like, they're not as evolved, I feel like with feelings. They're almost more like, push it down. Like, get over it. Where Americans are very like, talk about it. Like. And you're a swinger, like that was an entire season of the Mormon real secret wives. - Yeah. - But this was just a side note in the London one. - Well, you know what's funny is because like, I feel like we obviously like, our roots are reality TV. And I never mind getting asked questions about reality TV because it was such a time in my life. And but I always think about like, we always get asked, would we ever go back on reality TV? Now, if we were ever thrust into a real housewife setting again, in no situation, in my entire life, now being out of it, would I ever be able to make it and think like, this is serious. Like, I would, they would fire me immediately because anything someone said to me, I would immediately be like, make it a joke. - Well, they fire me immediately because I wouldn't respond to anyone yelling at me. I'd be like, I just said that way. I'm not, I'm like, I'm not responding to this. I can't do this. Bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo. - I'd be a horrible reality TV person now. - Well, look, back then, you know, you're in confessionals and they'll be like, okay, this scene happened. It looked like this. Can you tell us, it'll be good if you tell us that this was annoying from this person. And even if you don't think it's annoying, you're like, oh, they need this. And you'll be like, and you could tell when the people don't want to do in confessionals, they'll be like, that was kind of annoying. It's because they don't want to say it. And the producers like, just give us to this line. Just give us a line. Everyone's gonna think she's annoying. Oh my God, everyone's already. - People are gonna think you're fake if you don't say she's annoying. It's clear she's annoying you in it. Like, it's so easy to get to some people. But that's why even when you watch that, like, there's some scenes that I'm like, I fucking hate this girl. And I tell myself, don't hate anyone. And then the next scene, I'm like, I fucking love her. And then I'm like, and that is reality TV. - Yeah, because it's entertaining you. - And that neither are real. - Yeah. - Like, these are long conversations that are cut up and don't make sense. Also, okay, so what do you guys think? Juliet, I'm at this part of the season one. She, private jets, everyone to her castle that she partly owns. - Yeah. - And she treats them like insane. Like, takes them to a private island. Caviar, lobster, just everything you can imagine. - Such a response for this question keep going. - Apparently at the very end, I guess some people put stuff on their rooms 'cause it's like a mission star hotel. So everyone was leaving and the butler was like, so sorry, you guys have like an outstanding bill. It's like $100 for you, $100 for you, $100 for you. And the girls were like, what the fuck? This woman who's like, I own the castle, this is my castle, what do you think? Okay, so essentially the woman that owns the castle invited all these women paid for everything, but then at the end of the trip, they did have small bills, like $100, $200. The women who were invited thought that the owner, the invite her, should have paid all of those bills. Now, I agree that she kept saying, I'm the owner of this castle. I'm like, I'm paying for everything. I think that she should have said, like if they have any remaining balances, just anything from their rooms put on my room, she should have done that. But the reason she actually wins the argument is because I think it's in way worse taste to bring up that they have to personally pay for it than it was her not paying for it. If I received a bill, I would have just paid it and like tipped and never brought it up. But I think it was so trashy that they brought it up and like brought it up to her, like you didn't pay my bill. I 100% agree with you 'cause you also have to think all these women are loaded. Also, there was so many moving pieces to that trip. Like if I got $100 bill, I would, I mean, look, as Juliet, the one who owned the castle, I would have tried to make sure that no one at any point had to pay for anything so that no one could leave with any kind of like muttering. But I would not be upset that I had to pay $200 before leaving. After you just got a full weekend free, yeah, you're like, oh my God. They also should have like, did they even bring her a gift? I don't think anyone did anyone even bring her like a hostess gift. I, and I don't know how she responds to it, but I would have been like, oh, people are talking shit. Oh my God, so sorry, let me, let me, 'cause it, let me pay for all of it. She, yeah, she would once you, she eventually does. So then I first, she's upset, but I'm-- Wait, I love that you're watching reality TV. Well, it means that I healed a little. Yes, that is like so exciting, because it really is anthropology. But I do not like when they make people look bad and then it hurts their lives. It's too painful for me. Yeah. I really don't like it. But, but this show is a show that does it well where they could have from the very beginning like we're going to make pantheon of the monster. and everyone hate Panthea. And I don't like watching bullies. - I actually love Panthea. - Well, but they could have easily been like, Panthea talks a lot. We can get crazy stuff out of her. Let's make everyone hate her. But instead, every episode, they have a different person you can hate. And that's called sharing is caring. It's so lazy and easy to make one person the scapegoat. - Even though Panthea is loud in her deliveries, like a bit much, she never really does lie. Like it always does come out that she's like low-key telling the truth. I feel like. - One thing I don't like that she does, which is true, is when you tell someone gossip about themselves, you are spreading that gossip. Like, who the fuck would ever tell someone else gossip about themselves? - No, Paige. If I knew someone was talking shit about you, - We're different, best friends are different. - That's different. But I've had people come up to me and say, "Did you know people are saying this about you?" And I knew they were just saying that to upset me. 'Cause if you're not actually a person, you wouldn't have said that. And that's what Panthea just keeps being like, "You know, people are saying this about you. "People are saying this. "She's just trying to get it on camera." - No, that's evil. And Amanda first responded very classily, but then you could tell she was like, "I can't do this anymore." But then Amanda went, went for the jugular. - This actually reminds me because I feel like it always pops up on my TikTok, but Tink's talked about this and asked this question. If you meet someone, if you're either being introduced to someone or you say, "Hi, how are you?" Like, nice to meet you. And that person says back, "Oh, we've met before." Do you think that's rude? Or-- - It's how they say it. - The tone. - 'Cause I've had people be like, "Oh my God, we've met before. "Don't worry about it. "Don't worry about it." - Yeah. - Versus, we've met before five. - Yes, okay, I'd completely agree. Because when you think about it like if you see someone, I would go, "You were so busy. "You were running around when I was younger." - I would very do say that. - 'Cause I'd love to be like, we actually do have a connection. That's different than being like-- - Yeah. - Yeah. - 'Cause like if people do it to me, I'm like, "How dare you?" But then if I do it to someone, I'm like, "Actually, we have a mutual friend. "We met at this dinner." It was like so long ago. - Yeah, you are so good at that. 'Cause yeah, you go, "This is not on you. "This is me just remembering." - I also think, 'cause this has happened to me many a time, I never say nice to meet you. I always say nice to see you to everyone. Nice to see you, nice to see you. - That's it, I should actually do that one. - So I can avoid that bit better. - 'Cause it's like you could've seen them on Zoom. - Nice to see you. - Yeah, okay, that's actually good. But it's also like, and I didn't say I saw you before. I'm just saying nice to see you now. - Right. - Right. Okay, that's actually my name. - It's changed my life. - Yeah, because I say nice to see you to everyone. - 'Cause I've said nice to meet you before. And people have been like, "I was on the Zoom." And I was like, "Yeah, I'm okay. "It's not getting to Zoom." - And that was a small square. And how dare you. How dare you. How dare you try and make me look like I am rude right now. - You're like, "I was wearing sunglasses. "I was doing Gwasha." - No way, don't remember you. - I was off camera. I treated it as a phone call. - My favorite is when Paige, we have a group called Paige is like, "I'm off camera." So when everyone goes off camera, I don't know, I come on, I'm on camera. It's weird to then go off camera. Then I start loving that. It's just me talking to myself. - You love being on camera when everyone's off. - Do you wanna why though? 'Cause if I'm off camera, I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm not fucking paying attention. And I need to hold myself accountable. - No, you wanna know what my off camera thing is? Is I have to be really like aware of my face. Because my natural just like resting face, like I really-- - I have so many screenshots of what you want to do. - So uninterested. So, and like sometimes I am, so you never know. - But I feel like it's good 'cause I feel like I'm too bubbly. So like we need your intimidation. And then the second you talk, people are like, well they're either like she's so nicer. Definitely wasn't paying attention. - Well like, if I have to go through 15 intros and what everyone's job is and like a fun fact about them, like I then I'm like I can't. We're playing improv games, Zing Zang Ram Zoop. - Wait, I had one of those in person, like a couple weeks ago, I was like at this like shoot and the guy was like, okay now everyone go around and say like what your job is and your name. And in my head I was like, I felt so Gen Z 'cause I was like, I feel like people only do this on Zoom. But then I remembered like it was a real life thing. - You got such a Zoom activity. - Like it's such a Zoom thing. - Oh. - Anyway. (bell dings) - Oh Grace tried to get me divorced. - Pray tell. - Okay Grace and I were hanging out this weekend 'cause we're actually working on a very fun project that we will talk about later. But there was a dog in the vicinity. First, let me just say, okay they're these cute dogs that come in, everyone's petting them. Grace is scared of dogs. Grace gets the bravery to approach this dog. We have to like give her a pep talk where like the dogs are great, you see how they're acting with everyone. It's gonna be great. - Yep. She walks up to them. The dog immediately starts growling and barking at her, like causing a scene. And I'm like. - Look at a dog, like how big? - It was a big dog, it was big. So she's like fully traumatized. But then this dog for whatever reason is, I think it's 'cause I was in my loodial phase obsessed with me, like, and I was sweating. So like, at one point the dog starts licking my armpit and then it starts like suckling on it, like I'm it's mother. And I don't know how to act with dogs. - Push it away. - No, but I was like, is this it's love language? I don't know what to do. So Grace starts videoing me and the dog is suckling on me and I'm like sent to this. - I think it's suckling. I will literally jump through this screen and kill you. Are you kidding? I can't believe you just tried to use it a second time. That is one of the most foul things you've ever done telling a story. - I thought it was a scientific term. - It's no, it's a, no, it's not. - Shuckshing. - With your Disneyland head. - No manners or respect for this. - Oh, so I picked me. I'm like the dog one to suck my armpit. No one else is. But it was weird. I'm like, anyway, so I'm like send this to death. So then I go off, do my own thing. And I was like, I'm so cute. Like. - Sorry. - I know it's bad. - FedEx is here. - Waiting for him. - Oh my God. You make sure everything goes. - I might have to get this proceed with your story. - So, like, oh no, I'm scared now. So I sense it does and I go off my merry way. I'm like, I'm such a good, fun wife. Like, I'm sending him, oh, he's like my boyfriend. I'm sending him funny videos. He loves dogs. Like, that's his love language. At the end of the day, I look at this video that was sent to him. I have like eight chins. Like, you know, I'm like laughing, like, oh, yeah. It is the most, the angle. It was the most disgusting video I've ever taken in myself. Like, to the point that I'm like, no one proofread this. And she was like, you told me to send it to him. And I'm like, yeah, because in my head, I looked like really like cute. And the dog like picked me. And I was like, haha. I literally was like, grace you have to send as the hottest video of me you have on your phone. Just send it, don't say anything. We just need to like, like, I don't know. And you guys know, like, I don't care about how I look. This was, this was bad. And I looked at Grace and I said, oh, go, let's go. Thank you, Vellig. You were almost like disrespecting your husband with it. No, I was like, this is me actively trying to hurt my marriage. Like I went out of my way. I'm pausing up by the stress. I'm opening the door halfway for him. So then I call him when I get home and I'm like, he doesn't answer. So he only blocked me. Seeing if he's acting different, he's like, hey. And I'm like, yeah, sorry that video is like, did you say really great angle? And he goes, didn't even look as you looked at the dog. Didn't even notice. And I was like, I don't know. That's so him. But that's how I mean, want to see a dog. And also like, he just loves my aura. No, he does. He truly does. But honestly, that's that story's inspiring because the level of comfort and calm you found within your own home. But also you were born that way. Like you don't give a fuck. No, but it was that bad of a video that I'm like, no one should see this of me. And I post crazy shit of me on the internet. And I've been like smiling in front of does this whole time. See, part of Josephine's job description is she does DM Joe. Like every time I post something insane and she will be like, you are so lucky. You should count your, like she bullies Joe on Instagram. I love that she takes a photo. And it's like, just want to make sure you saw this fourth post on the grid. She goes, she'll be like, we rearranged. So look at it. Like just want to make sure you don't miss this detail. And also like, look at her little feet in here. Asked as like, does this necklace mess up my outfit? And he'll look at me and be like, didn't even say you were wearing necklace. It's just like straight man stuff, I guess. Wait, can I do it? Women in some of the week, I love. Do you know why I'm a huge fan of? Give me a genre. I love when we play this. And like, she's British. She's British. She's in fashion. She's British, she's in fashion. She has short hair. Alexa Chung. I am so obsessed with Alexa Chung. She had a talk show. Yeah. That was so cool. It was on MTV. I loved her talk show. Yeah. She was effortlessly funny. And actually, no. I mad at Alexa Chung because she gave me the confidence to before I went to my first year of college to cut my hair, like hers. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. turns out I don't have the jawline of Alexa Chung and I looked like a tiny British boy. Wait, what was she like, how did she have that talk show? What was her job? I don't know, but I feel like she must have been kind of like it girl of London and I feel like they took a chance on her and she was, it was like while the cool British girl is giving me a glimpse of her life. There's a couple people that I always think were always ahead of their time in their industry and almost like don't get the recognition that they deserve. Like Chelsea Hamler going to Netflix with her talk show like way before anyone else. Alexa Chung, just like the it girl fashion girlly. Like Lady Gang, they used to film their podcast before anyone films their podcast. I also love her style. Yeah, I love like calling back to that because yeah, she was like an OG fashion like. It's called her story. So anyway, Alexa Chung, we love you. If you don't know, Alexa Chung lore, look into it. She's amazing and inspirational. Are you going to see Verity? Did you read Verity? I read Verity. Okay, my 4U pages very 50/50 mixed. I've gotten a lot of videos that were like I hated that movie and then I got a lot of videos that I loved that movie. I'm not going to go see it, but I'm definitely going to stream it. And I love Ann Hathaway, so I'll watch whatever she is. I hear there's like jumpscares. I don't need that for my cortisol, but like I want to support the girls. It's a psychological sexual thriller. So it's right up my alley. You go, that's just how I wake up in the morning. I hate a thriller, but if it's a sexual one, I like it. We're the psychological sexual thriller that's like, that's me on a Monday. That's like me looking forward to like my 40s. You know, like if I think something weird and sexual is going to happen in my 40s. Yeah, I'm into it. I mean, I don't really know what you mean. No, I don't really either. Like what direction? I don't know. It just feels like as a Scorpio, I get more and more sexual as I get older. For sure. By the way, I didn't realize till my 30s, how you actually, when you ovulate, are more attracted to people. I wish I knew that in my 20s, because like I'm pretty sure I had some crushes that were purely ovulation crushes, but then you don't see them for a while. And then you were like, why? No, I really believe that birth control changes like a lot of dating or like sometimes like even like the first couple days of my period. I'm like, I'm obsessed with the O. You're like humping a chair. Yeah. There's like a chair. You're looking at the chair. You're like, is this chair flirting with me? Yeah, like the corner of the chair. Which you know, which is funny, though, because men are always still like macho and like really, when hour like libido, I feel like it's rising. There's just going down like age-wise. I mean, like if you compared our ages. Yes. Yes. Sexuality only gets better for women, which really is what they'd rather. And that's why I think latent life lesbians are iconic, because they're like, oh, I've been waiting to have this many orgasms. Let's go. Yeah. And just like the fungshway of their homes, I really all never get over. Thank you guys so much for giggling with us. We love you so much. And talk to you later. Next week is going to be crazy. We're just going to leave it at that. Love you. Bye.