Giggling about bidets, bahn mi, and scorpio season

what's up my guava gigglers it's currently 5 36 p.m in hong kong where i am reporting for duty and page texts me it's 5 30 a.m in miami i texted hannah and i said i'm so sick but i'm awake do you want to just record i can't believe you're so sick right now but i feel like you love it because it's like main character energy to be sick you know i always get sick since i was in like fourth grade around halloween i've missed halloween's before because i was so sick oh my god halloween in my birthday just something happens to my body where it's like it's too much it's too much scorpio the it's too much i'm scorpioing too hard too close to the sun also i just realized i don't know if i'm like growing up or getting more boring but i literally forgot halloween this year halloween like did you do anything no i was doing like an interview the other day and they were like oh what are you doing for halloween and i was like i'm taking the year off i'm at capacity babe i'm at capacity i'm like i'm turning 34 i actually should be getting a child ready for halloween and so i can't no i mean in theory i would love to like think of a really fun idea prepare prepare it execute it and we did it the last year so i last two years last year we did multiple outfits like that should count as like a rollover we did what did we do weren't we on tour no that was two years ago it's all blending into one all i know is i was the australian dancer and i embodied her yeah you did what's it called when like male actors you were method acting i was method acting i came when male actors ignore their families yeah what's it called when male actors do anything update on my bowel system oh yeah it's funny because like my dms are so different than my like instagram comments because the comments the gigglers they're funny they're silly the dms they're like hey this is medical one-on-one how's your like i'm posting all these food tours and they're all like hey just checking in have you pooped yet like literally like a cute mom like have you pooped let the community know um good news is i had doctors message me regarding my what was it called what did i delcolex and i think that's the best thing that's come out of it out of i was gonna say out of disney well i'm really not well out of giggly squad is we have so many connections to so many doctors we're literally doing a crowd source of women in stem every time we're on the pod i think my dms could cure endometriosis like i'm not kidding i get more attention from doctors in my dms than i do when i'm in the waiting room at a doctor's office the doctor just ignores me and i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry doesn't make eye contact asks me if i'm depressed and then walks out you walk out of your doctor's office you're like whatever i'll just look at my dms actually like also i love doctors like out of their doctor uniform i was gonna say costume yeah and that would be really mean they're like i went to 17 years of med school shut the fuck up yeah well it's like when you see your teacher like at the grocery store just weird like i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so so like when a doctor dms me they're so chill they're like hey by the way doctor um no and it's good that they say doctor because i am listening to any random person i'm like wait i should check if they in fact are a doctor by the way everyone in vietnam called me lady like they're like lady do this lady sit lady calm i kind of love that i know i was like i'm a lady so the doctor said you taking dulcolax was you going she used the word nuclear on your stomach and she basically was like dulcolax is like the most powerful laxative you can take and she was like that was insane behavior so then why did they sell it no that's where's the warning label and what does the fda have to say about it like and laxatives they clearly are not all created equal so they should have like you know like a why don't they have salsa level warnings because apparently you could have like a little motion in the ocean but this was like a volcanic eruption but for i did so i did have like diarrhea during that but like not really that much and then the next like day i had like little baby poops like baby but like at least there was movement and now i'm stuck again but it's not as painful what a journey but honestly it's way better than than when i'm my normal self which is just like going to the bathroom all the time yeah like i eat whatever i want and i'm not worried what's gonna happen on an average day in america how many times are you going to the bathroom like you're fully going number two i feel like i poop after every meal you're like a dog and if i'm like a little nervous about something which is all the time then it gets i guess literally get you a litter box that's the craziest thing i've ever heard so you eat and then 45 minutes later you know you're gonna shit it out or earlier is your body taking any nutrients in that feels so quick that feels alarmingly fast i thought i had a fast metabolism but according to my botox i don't wait you know what is so funny is we kept saying that to people we're like okay but hannah actually has like a crazy fast metabolism i started a rumor about myself that i had a fast metabolism and no one questioned it i was like i don't know why it's not going down like she sweats so much you would think that she eats she poops non-stop like stuff is moving oh my god so then i get my period in vietnam oh my god as one does yeah of course and then i realized like that i was a toto there was like a family um toilet so i've actually never really fucked with the bidet it was the kind of thing that like oh i've never had a tutorial but i'm sitting there like i'm clogged up i got my period i'm like i'm clicking one of these buttons because yeah i need jesus right now something up there maybe go the opposite way see if something wiggles out let's see if he gets some motion but by the way it's like scary to be like i'm sitting here and like water is about to like go right in my perennial yeah my perennial i love them well there's a ranking system like laxatives should have where it's like how strong do you want to be so i put it in middle warm you know i'm vanilla so i'm like yeah but then i jack that thing up i know you do just to feel something yeah so i put it on and then i didn't know how to turn it off so i like kept clicking it but it made it just keep going strong and you can't just get off the toilet because then it'll spray out of the toilet so i said i'm like des how do you turn it off and then i get ticklish and i'm in like a torture chamber of a bidet but then i realized there was a stop button did your husband run in no no no he left no he was like she'll figure it out there's like a key and peel skit somewhere or like it's in a movie like they go in to help someone with a bidet i need to like find it because it's so funny and so pertinent to this it's not obvious how it works there's a lot of buttons yeah and like there's a lot of buttons i don't go on youtube because i'm a girl like for tutorials right right right which i should but like speaking of youtube have you seen like all that stuff from like the some podcast but it's like h3 podcast yeah yeah like i like don't know i never knew those people till now that's the trisha paytas people yeah i don't know i never knew those people till now that's the trisha paytas people they're all like connected and it's funny because trisha paytas didn't know who we were she didn't know who we were well she like didn't she comment about giggly squad i don't know but i own i know her from tana mojo i feel like yeah yeah yeah which tend to shout out tana our number one giggler on the planet who's going hard this halloween and i thought they i was like wait this is a podcast how would i not know that this is a really big podcast but i think like youtube i feel like people are listening to it on youtube i think they do straight somehow like it never crossed our desk i can't believe that guy found one person to fuck him let alone two i mean i am was gobsmacked i go this man cheated on like with that's the thing about men i'm like every time i want to count them out they do something and i'm like wow that was really crazy i doubt you've been keeping up with love is blind because you're you don't have a vpn and yeah what do you do doing so I was getting annoyed that everyone was talking shit about my Michaela and Rob and I said let them be cute like you guys are being haters let love and I was rooting for him I was rooting for him but that's a problem with these guys is that they could go either way because they're dumb right so you're like he's either dumb cute or dumb evil and that's two types of men and I and you want to know what I think is making me mad about it is because he tricked me and I hate yes I hate getting tricked he did not trick me I liked their chemistry because I love a funny girl and I felt like they both made each other laugh so that's my like yes love language I'm like they're making each other laugh they're perfect yeah when a guy constantly says oh I'm a lot oh yeah thanks for putting up with me it's constantly like he's telling you who he is because I definitely dated or there's the opposite of the spectrum which is arguably worse when they're like I'm such I'm a really good guy I'm so I'm really nice I really I think I take offense to being mean to people I don't like that I'm really nice oh god meet a guy who doesn't define who he is to you because I feel like all those guys are narcissists the ones that are like oh I'm the kind of guy who shut up shut uh I'll decide I'll decide what kind of guy you are you motherfucker sorry I just got really annoyed oh my god no I I so agree okay keep going do you know want to know something that's crazy I didn't watch love is blind but everyone's playing the clip of like him getting to lunch or dinner with like all his boys yeah it was really upsetting okay one of the guys at that table I matched with on hinge and talked to for like two two months or something I never met up with him which one Hannah his name's like his name's like Steve he was like a former football player he's like really big okay I'm pretty sure they were all named Steve so I have to go back and look the one that like they just posted a clip I'm like that's like I you know those people you've matched on apps and never connected with not the guy with a crazy like chin strap facial hair that was like being insane the insane one not the insane one I never met up with him this is actually so us this is like boots on the ground journalism and we're like I actually don't know so he's like from Jersey so he like came up on my hinge and he was a big football guy so I was like yeah they'll get you they will literally get now I'm trying to think if I did meet up with you guys my phone I checked but there's no text messages okay here's one thing I want to say yeah in Rob's defense oh I understand wait wait hear me out hold on there's that kitty hair in my mouth in Rob's defense I understand his skepticism on going on a reality tv show and being nervous like what if they edit this crazy what if like I get canceled I understand that but he inadvertently canceled himself and here's something I'm gonna say that is like a really really polarizing and look I think drinking problems come in all shapes and sizes I don't think necessarily a drinking problem is you wake up every day and you have to slam a shot of vodka if you are with someone who has a drinking problem and a drinking problem to me is your relationships change when you get drunk like your relationships with all of them all people change when you have a drink yeah I had I had to have someone literally take me by the shoulders and say you will never be able to help someone with a drinking problem if they don't help themselves you need to go and it's so true wait did I tell you that was that me well you were one of a couple I go was that 50 people in your life because I know I was one of them I remember she goes I had a wide wise person you sat me down you go let's talk about addiction I go you've never been addicted to anything you go exactly let's talk about and I try to keep it far away from me that's why I don't smoke cigarettes because in the past life I was definitely an addict and Rob has a has a drinking problem because is that what they realize this episode it's what I realize I'm like you just you have a crazy drinking problem and I'm like I'm not gonna like you need to figure it out and also all of these men I'm like look Rob okay totally understand like his dad passed away and that's so sad and and I can understand that but Michaela was so easygoing she was so like totally I like I want to help you or like I'm like I'm in your corner and then she got to a point where she she was like you're embarrassing me publicly and now you're a of who I am and honey if I had a nickel of every time I've been like and you're an extension of me and now people think I'm a fucking nut job she did exactly what she needed to do and I'm so proud that like in that moment she went in the bathroom with her girlfriends and was like I'm not marrying him I'm actually never seeing him again I do have to say your gut and her gut in that moment was like get out and she could have suppressed it she could have been like there's so many reasons why I should give this another chance but the fact she did that I'm so proud of her like I'm on a show like let me just he got nervous yeah there were so many excuses she could have made and she didn't but also this man is 38 this isn't a 24 year old kid that's like no going through a rough patch um yeah and also it's like these are his friends I didn't watch it but I saw but I love talking about it like I watched it I'm like his friends strong opinion but I did see a clip where he was like I've never been aggressive with you right and she said the most iconic thing back she was like no and he's like so I've never been aggressive and she's like yeah except this moment right now she's like you mean what you're doing you're asking me if you are what you are right now I'm so confused well I'm like hyped up I haven't fought with a man in years no I'm so mad I have so many I've had a list of things that pissed me off the past 24 hours I haven't fought with a drunk man in years and let me tell you I was I was unprepared for it you remember everything I've done I've done a lot of things I've done I've done a lot of things I've done a lot of things I've done a lot of things I've done a lot of things I've done a lot of things they said when they're drunk and then totally you're like you're a horrific human and then in the morning they're like maybe they're like I didn't mean everyone was being mean to me I'm like you're a psychopath like a true true psychopath not to brag my husband's sober and I have some like younger friends who were like is that okay like what's it like like I'm so scared to be the sober guy and I'm like you never fight dronkingly you never hung over with him like it's beautiful and peaceful and you guys like he reads when you don't have to worry about your boyfriend's character changing in different environments that's your husband but I would also argue like their character when they're drunk is is part of who they are it's not this like made-up imaginary being like that's fully who they are a lot of the times it's stuff they're suppressing just on like a ground base level who the fuck wants to hang out with like an annoying angry drunk person like that's not the point like I could literally just call my dad sober if I want to do that I'd go back on reality tv okay yeah like if you're a bad drunk and we're in our 30s get the fuck away from me you're a loser you never figured it out and like you're not fun this is not fun I want to drink and have a kiki have a laugh well that's the thing the joke is like in your 20s you're still drunk and you're not sober and you're not sober and you're like the fun guy like he was definitely the fun guy in college and then in your 30s it starts getting sad also I low-key think he thinks that he was hot well he told everyone he looks like Travis Kelsey which is not true I think that he low-key thought he was like bigger than the program in terms of the women but he decided to like not pick the girl who said she dated athletes because I think he's insecure that he's not an athlete yeah he's just like a big guy wait you want to know what the real telltale sign was when she when Michaela was laying in bed with him and they were like laughing about something and she said something like what do you think big guy and he got offended he was like yeah and I was like okay you're a fucking loser I was like that is the moment that I was like break up with him actually he like sucks he can't take a joke and people will be like what's the stupidest littlest thing that gave you the ick no icks are are worn they're whispers they're warning whispers that yeah you gotta listen to that warning whispers I don't know where that came from I think it was Oprah actually Oprah talked about whispers how you have to listen to the whispers but um anyway I digress can we do like a list of things that have pissed me off in like the past 48 hours I feel like you woke up at 5 a.m and texted me just so you could tell me all the things that piss you off actually yeah let's go baby I was on tiktok and I was like this is pissing me off buckle up this is pissing me off and should I record the pod right now wait one last thing on love is blind um hey guys i know that we were on reality tv too and like maybe sometimes we didn't like do our nails or like our hair wasn't brushed whatever when you're on love is blind you're literally on there for one season maybe clean your kitchen before we come in before we come in and you do a tour i'm gonna need you to fold the clothes on your bed like no i actually have no tolerance for it like what are you talking about when they left they were in a rush but you could text someone to be like hey can you like put my clothes away they're the cameras are in a rush you're potentially going away for weeks you didn't like run the dishwasher like i have no tolerance or maybe a producer was like it'll be cute if you're like the messy one like you're the creative no that's disgusting you're in your 30s like all the women are just so normal i think that's what the frustrating part about it is it's like all the women are just like being normal and like living their lives and all the men are like isn't this normal and you're like no this is not like you're scaring everyone including the cameraman it's giving room raiders they need to take out a blue light a black light for jizz stains i'm gonna start small okay okay start yeah build it up the first thing that pissed me off is people were coming for paris hilton because she dressed as bell for beauty and the beast and her daughter was dressed as chip which is the little cup which in the movie is the child adorable and people were like how could paris hilton be bell while she made her daughter be chip because she's paris hilton what the fuck are you talking about so that really pissed me also what if the daughter like wanted to be chip like you don't know that paris hilton commented and goes chip is my daughter's favorite character she wanted to be chip like end of story case closed enough paris hilton should be um treated like a real life princess protected species she invented the selfie leave her alone also she does really great work for adhd and she's never aged a day in her life and bell loves to read and you know that in her basement she has like a full spa yeah she's paris hilton also she inspired giggly squad leave her alone did she yes with um paris and nicole oh yeah yeah we're forever inspired okay the next thing that's the next thing that's gonna happen is that jennifer lawrence is gonna go to a hair care company if i hear one more person make a video saying jennifer lawrence is doing a cash grab for her hair care company i'm actually gonna blow up tiktok it's jennifer lawrence she can do whatever the fuck she wants and also how come every time a woman starts a business it's like not a real business not real nope she's actually oh my god does she need money or maybe she's just very interested in it and can sell a product when women aren't starting businesses they're just talking in front of the camera and that makes p davidson mad and then we try to be athletic gillis gets mad and then we try to start a business everyone's mad so what are we supposed to do wait birdie posted the other and i know i said i was gonna stay out of the comments and i really am birdie posted a thing the other day saying like are men the new uh like skin care yeah like because all these men like Seth Rogen was in a Sephora thing yeah and I commented and like someone needs to tell Pete Davidson because like he could be getting his back he doesn't even know it all he has to do is do one get ready with me I just like there is something that kind of irks me I guess Sephora is trying to promote like honey I'm livid about boyfriends trying no I'm livid about it you're taking our jobs like why are men promoting skin care for women like I I just Seth also doesn't need the money either like give it to a nice influencer girl who's hustling every day Seth Rogen is busy with the studio you're taking our jobs go back to where you came from now listen a gay man who like wears makeup yes honey yes come with me yep get your stuff go buy your things color match if Bowen's into makeup yes he's been oh married like totally do it because they enjoy our femininity yes a straight man selling me any type of makeup product I'm not even mad at the straight man because like hey if you get a call and someone wants to give you a fat check who am I to say don't take it but then don't talk shit on influencers ever but the establishment who's hiring them I'm looking at you sideways because what I do have to say elf elf hired Matt Reif and immediately the internet got really mad because what the fuck does he know about a grip primer truly does he even know what a fucking primer okay actually maybe and I digress I take that back you never know what people do to stay beautiful no you truly never know what's going on in someone's home I can attest to that you don't know what's going on in someone's home you don't you never will you truly never will okay and my last thing this is my last thing okay did you see Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard I actually did not see the clips all I see is people really mad at people are mad cursed is it Kristen or Kristen Kristen Kristen who I I'm a Veronica Mars stan stop getting mad at the women what did she do because she didn't break up with her girlfriend she didn't break up with her girlfriend she didn't break up with her like leave Kristen alone leave Kristen alone so she was on a pod with them and she said that she knows that Dax is flirting with her when they're out to a restaurant and he compliments the waitress and says oh you have really nice eyes or whatever and she said she takes that as flirting because she's turned on by his kindness okay I saw that because he's making someone else feel good I actually kind of believe that she thinks that because I do see her as like a very lovely angel like I could see someone being nice and her being like that's so nice that you were nice to that person she likes that he's in a good mood no she's saying that like she likes being with someone who's kind to strangers you know there's a lot of factors in this scenario that she said like for example is the girl he's complimenting hideous and that's important that's important and my husband is like you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen then I'm like I'm pissed because I'm like why would you do that no then I'm like my husband is like charitable like he's like giving back to the community if she's some like hot girl and my husband's like hold on let me make this girl feel I'm like that's so fucking weird when Joe and I like first started dating we were like walking in the park and he like saw a dog that he liked and he said to the owner which was a super hot girl what kind of dog is that and she was like oh it's oh it's like a blah blah blah and we walked away and I I looked at him and I was like don't you ever fucking do that in front of me and I'll chop your balls off right here who gives a fuck what kind of dog that is see we're different where I you actually enjoy being like a little jealous I like to play jealous like on the plane today Des was talking to like she was probably like she's an older older woman um why am I so scared to say that like okay well did she have three heads what the fuck's going on he was speaking Mandarin with her like obviously I'm like laughing kicking I have no idea what they're saying so when he came back when he came back sat down I was like someone had a little fun with the stewardess are you like what do you what do they what do they I always say stewardess flight attendant Hannah I think stewardess is cunt it is cunt but I think they were like someone said no and then it was like like stewardess sounds regal as fuck you want to know what it is because we love Stuart's name Stuart your friend Stuart um who has a podcast everyone listened to it um Stuart says so yeah I was like did you have fun you a lot of fun back there and he's like oh and I'm like no go spend 40 minutes talking to her like you're not interested that's crazy so I have fun fake fighting with it yeah I'm serious Des is speaking Mandarin and charming the fuck out of every woman in Hong Kong right now but like I do like it because I'm like that's my man oh okay we have a Daphne cameo Kitty's actually like and he's saying what to who Kitty Kitty's like I need to get involved Kitty I love your fancy feast campaign and she's gone and she's almost gone okay so Des is being so cute in that he's letting me go to every cat cafe that I found I know because the two times I've texted you you've been like sorry just leaving in cat cafe so you guys I went to cat cafe in Singapore then I found one also wait you didn't even laugh at my text message when I was incessantly texting you a ton of gossip and then I screenshotted your location and I was like the shit my friend is doing when i'm actively getting ghosted like where you were was a made-up i was in i was in hanoi vietnam it was so we were dying laughing i didn't respond because you were asleep anyway um but in vietnam oh you guys okay i gotta i gotta i gotta share so in vietnam i go on my own journey now there's nothing quite flow state like when you are walking to find a vintage shop and you know you have like just 10 minutes straight to this vintage shop like i truly go ethereal like nothing in the world matters it's just me and going to buy things that i don't need um i might not buy anything because i might get overstimulated when i get there mm-hmm by the way in vietnam um there's a lot of places where there's no crosswalks and it's just cars and motorcycles and people walking now the way des describes it is that in asia it is there is a flow okay if he's like because there's no rules and so it's not like okay now everyone stops you walk you just have to go you just have to walk and he's like when you look at it everyone's actually flowing with it and he's like oh my god there's a lot of people there's a lot of people there's a lot of people but from afar it looks like complete chaos and people are honking and yelling so like i am like i'm gonna go and there's also no sidewalk you have to walk in the street you know so i'm walking in the street in the middle of vietnam alone trying to find a thrift shop and i actually start getting dizzy and i realized it's it's because one i was dehydrated two because my cortisol levels were so high because i was like actively trying to not get hit by like four different moving vehicles yeah you know this is how people die but then i locked in then i was like okay i hit the flow and it's like you just walk you can't get defensive you just walk um and i find a cat cafe but in vietnam it's very chill like you know most cat cafes it's like you gotta check in and like pay money to enter then you like take your shoes off and then you like they're like whatever take one we don't care come in it's a bookstore with cats just like lying on people's books reading just cats like reading like welcome to my store um literally going through novels in my head cats like can talk they choose not to and like they could run the world but they're like we're actually not gonna but like deep down i really think that they are aliens but i actually feel like i'm how a man walks into a brothel at these cat cafes can i check this i said okay that's a pretty one over there okay that's a little love like a little on that one over there and then it's like i get my drink and then i'm like who wants a little pet you're like what's your name tabby but it's funny i go up to one i try to pet it and it's like not that into me and i'm like no problem and i go to the next one i try to pet it so this last one i just got to hong kong found a cat cafe does let me go page they have different outfits on because it's halloween so they have all these cute outfits i took photos but the some of them have like a bandana on them and i'm like what's the bandana say and it says on diet so all the fat ones have little bandanas that say on a diet which i think means like you can't just give them snacks no and they're the cutest chubbiest kids imagine as a human when you're on a diet you have to wear a bandana it says on diet do not give food do not feed if you live in my mom's house you know so anyway you live with my mom and you're gaining weight everyone will know she puts she puts the bandana on you and it's bright red by the way on a diet a little bit of a diet right now like no i'm not she goes you're not oh you didn't know you are we went on a actual street food tour like you hire someone like a vietnam local her name is junie i love that junie she's so iconic junie and she's this little tiny woman walking middle of the road and there's just chaos around her and we're just like okay i guess we follow her she turns into like the back of some store into someone's apartment into the back and there's just like these little tables by the way is like six four and like trying to sit in the back of the car and she's like oh my god i'm so loving it um but he can't speak vietnamese so he's like no use to me but anyway he can't speak vietnamese what an idiot no he's like it's stupid my god like read a fucking book like get one culture so he there's like a lady holding a baby holding dumplings throws us some dumplings i'm a foodie let's just say it is that annoying is that annoying then i'm a foodie in a like we all have thought this what i would say is that i'm a foodie i'm a foodie i'm a foodie i'm a foodie say the best you eat everything by the way we know all the food i'm about to list is still in me right now like it hasn't come out so just like imagine the layers so first let's start at breakfast coconut coffee okay coconut coffee in hanoi is basically a frappuccino so it's frozen the greatest thing i've ever had highly recommend then they have duck like just like fried duck with like herbs so you can have the same meal every single for every meal if you want so we had these little pieces of duck and then they have fresh herbs always on the table and you um take the basil and you eat it dry with the duck it was the acidity against the fatness of the duck was truly remarkable um bobby flay is gonna love this segment okay oh then okay have you ever had bond me no so it's sorry i'm you're such an uncultured swine i don't even know how to talk to you right now you've never had bond me crazy okay where do we even begin so i've never even heard of it so vietnam was there was the french colonized them okay now we're okay a full history lesson but because they have french influences it's like asian cuisine but then with baguettes so a bond me is a bag a baguette but like not too thick and then they put like you put any meat in it but i love it with the pate they did a prosciutto pate duck pate with then it has like cucumber and lettuce i did not take you as a pate girl we don't pate that's that thick girl she is running around eating pate yeah i didn't know that wait is that good or bad good okay good wait am i confusing i think it's like chopped liver i think it's ground up liver yeah i'm confusing pate with frogwa i think it's but isn't that also a pate i think frogwa i don't think it's frogwa what is that is it oh frogwa yeah isn't that a pate that's pate if it was gay that's pate if it was in a musical musical theater that's pate if it knew it was better than you and it went to a nice liberal arts school um okay then they had this like beef lettuce and noodles together that was great obviously fa but then this was their crazy dessert it's called jelly bean but they take sweet soy milk like it's crazy okay yeah sweet soy milk and then tofu but like flavorless tofu but it like takes on the sweetness of the soy milk okay and just red beans because if you think about it beans are inherently sweet like you know like in barbecue like the beans so if you just have beans with soy milk it literally is like floating red beans and milk which what are you talking about barbecue beans is sweet laced yeah but laced with so much sugar like if you went to if you go to one backyard barbecue and you have baked beans it's so unhealthy but like a bean on its own i feel like has no taste well actually you're right it's no taste but it's like tofu where it can be sweetened like it takes on the milk yes so it was like this sweet bean texture it was crazy i was feeling wild and you eat the beans individually or it's like mashed individually like they just put it's like floating beans it's like cereal of beans bean cereal no wonder you can't take a shit okay are you kidding me it's crazy i can't take a shit after that also i had eight prunes today like that should be illegal yeah so anyway that was vietnam and we're about to go to dinner like so anyway that was breakfast so anyway that was my snack that's like amy schumer and train wreck when she's like i'm so hungry all i've had is are you okay well In my head, when you said you got dizzy, I go, well, surely you weren't hungry and famished. You must not have had any water. I don't think I've ever been famished in my life. The second I get slightly hungry, I, like, need to eat. Yeah, I need to eat something. You know, that's so funny. I actually don't think I've ever heard you be like, no, I'm starving. We have to get, like, we need to eat. Because that gets dealt with immediately. And I don't make it everyone's problem. Like, I will leave the event if there's not food. Also, I have snacks. Like, in your bag? Yeah, I always have a bar. Wait, so did you ever go shopping? Did you ever go to, like, the vintage store? Oh, so I did go to these really cool vintage stores. But it's crazy because you get there and it's like you have to go in all these staircases where it really looks like you're walking to. Yeah, you don't like that. You don't know where it is. But I do like it. It's just, like, I'm bad at directions anyway. So it's a miracle every time I found these stores that are, like, the address is in a different language and it's on the third floor of a building that you can't see. So I did get turned around a couple times. But one thing about me that we can learn from this experience, and I'm pulling it up because I made a note. Oh. Going on a street food tour after almost dying proves that I am resilient. You wrote this down? Yeah. Okay. I'm going. I said. Support your friends. Keep going. And there's one thing about me. I am resilient. And that is what you should want to be in this life. Not cool. Not funny. Not beautiful. But being able to deal with hard things and coming back stronger. Have you ever seen the movie 21 Jump Street with Channing Tatum? I've never seen it, but I know the vibes, if that makes sense. You love Channing Tatum. How have you? I've never seen one of his number one comedy roles. Do yourself a favor. Download that for the plane ride home. Well, actually, after I saw She's the Man, I knew that his work was only going to go downhill from there because that was his prime. He's very good in 21 Jump Street. Yeah. What a time. What a time. The 2000s. Also, that's a great example of when men used to be hot. Continue. Thank you. Thank you. It's called There's No Studs Anymore. I think that's for lesbians. No, it's not. It's not. Sorry. I'm a lesbian. Take talk. No, I'm a. No, I actually would know. Are lesbians adopted stud? Yeah. They're like mask lesbians. Have you heard of Hey Mama? A Hey Mama lesbian? No, I have not. I think that's a type of mask lesbian. That's like, fuck boy. Like she has like a backwards hat. She's like, Hey Mama. Hey Mama. The 21 Jump Street thing I was saying. There's a scene in there where Jonah Hill like does like fake slam poetry. And you literally just sounded exactly like him. I am Jonah Hill and you are Joni Tatum. Oh, but I have some page bait. Fine. I'm already annoyed this episode. I know. So I'm leaning in. Hashtag lean in. I am officially the worst packer to ever pack. And I'm not trying to be like, and they're like other girls. But like, it's at a point where it needs to be studied. First of all, I only pack dresses. Like, I think I want to be Nana. Like growing up, like Nana goes on vacation. She takes all these photos and all these gorgeous different dresses. So I'm like, okay, I'm going on vacation. Let's pack eight dresses that I've never worn. For what? Like to go to dinner? Yeah. Like those are your night outfits? In my dreams. Yeah. That's who I am on vacation. Okay. I just pack heels. Like I don't check that they match any of the dresses. I just see them. I just see like a heel that looks kind of comfortable. When I get there, I realize no heel goes with any of the dresses. Also, I realize I'm not wearing a dress. Right. So, well, also because I was battling really bad bloat. And dresses are not good at hiding that. I'd have to be like full pregnant mom. Give me an example. Like what are some dresses? Like do I know the dresses? Like tight dresses? I packed like a tight vintage. Roberto Cavalli dress. No, like snake skin. Like what are your day outfits? So, this is the thing. I did pack like jeans. I packed like some simple t-shirts. Like I'm trying to be like classic simple. I've been wearing the same Montauk t-shirt and Daphne pajama pants every single day. To go out too? Like to go to the cat cafe? Yeah, I've worn like this is my comfy outfit and I'm staying in it. Yeah. And by the way, there's a shit ton of stuff in my luggage. Like it's not like I didn't pack. It's just like this is the only thing I feel. This is the only thing I fit into right now. That's what it puts me right now. As someone who looks up restaurants color decor so that my outfit matches the vibes. Like when we go to Italy and my mom books a beach club, I go, what color? What color are the umbrellas? I can't go if I don't know what color the umbrellas are in my bathing suit doesn't match. I'll look ridiculous. And they change them every year. So, like I. It could be some form of what's it called when you think differently than other people. Neurotype. You know what it is? You know what packing really is? It's just math. You just have to calculate how many days you're going to be there. Figure you need a day off. You need a day outfit and a night outfit. So that's two already for one day. And then you have to bring at least three alternate outfits for in case you're like, who did I think I was when I packed that? I don't want to wear that. Where's my alternate outfit? Oh, change of plans. Alternate outfit. I do this at home, too, where like I put on an outfit and I'm like, this is comfortable. I like it. And then I wear it every day until it's too dirty. You are the type of person that is really like. I want to be Steve Jobs. There's so much I could say in this moment. You are the type of person who truly is perfect for a uniform. You need to get four outfits that you love and you need to get them in every single color and you need to just rotate that every day. Obviously, special events and occasions are different. But like your day to day, day to night, you should be rotating truly five outfits that you love and feel good in. And like if I could go to dinner right now. Yeah. In this outfit, I 100 percent would. But it would look bad. Insane. Insane. So I'm going to change. But putting myself in different outfits stresses me out. You're also the perfect candidate to go shopping at like the row and buy like an insanely expensive something. But you're going to wear it every single day. Like if you buy three insanely expensive outfits that you just only wore those, it's actually saving money rather than buying. Like a ton of random shit that you never end up wearing. You have so many random clothes that you're like, I'm never wearing it. But you bought it. But you bought it. I know. Like there's a new thing. It's not new at all. But girls on TikTok being like, do you like it or is it just thrifted? I've never felt that. So like I'll buy something because I'm like, it's thrift. But you thrifted it. I thrifted. It's on sale. I save money. No, I really I wish I had the time and the just general. Like, Jenna, say qua to come over and really look at your closet. Maybe one day. Maybe we'll do it. Hannah Bates. Try new things. Paige tries to look at Hannah's closet. Also, this whole time, there's been this like light of God coming towards my head. That's driving me insane. It's kind of beautiful, though. Thanks. Anyway, you guys keep sending your Hong Kong regs. No, I haven't. I haven't pooped since the laxative. But keep me in your prayers. And Paige is really sick, too. So pray to St. Anthony. I genuinely think my fever just broke because I'm sweating and I was so cold. And you did amazing this podcast in spite of that because you're because again, you know what you are? What are you? Resilient. Resilient. Resilient. Yeah. Every giggler is resilient. And you take that with you for the rest of this weekend, girls. OK, I love you. Stay resilient out there. Talk soon. Bye. Bye.