Giggling about BBLs, bees, and best friends

(upbeat music) - Sup, giggler? - Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. - Man, if that's that shit, we can't be manners. (laughing) (upbeat music) - I'm in the day just got away from me. - Hello, my, I feel like a two year old and you're like, and then, and then when, and I was going, and I was in-- - And then I just saw-- - And then I just saw-- - And all my gigglers. (laughing) - But I don't have the kids today, guys. - Thank God. - Thank God. - Actually, I put in my own due diligence with children this weekend. - Due diligence? - Yeah, I did. I played an insane round of hide and go seek with a four year old and a three year old, and here's the thing I like about them. They don't care if you cheat. They want a cheat. Like, I would go hide, and then they would yell, where are you? And I would tell them, and then they would come get me. - You should have been like, this isn't what life's, how you live life. People don't give you the answers. You got to figure it out yourself. - I realize I just wanted to make them happy, and that made me happy. - That was beautiful. Something that didn't make me happy. - Yes. Back to our core. - Back to our God-given age. (laughing) - Just so you guys know that sometimes, we and Hannah gossip before the pod, and sometimes we do an hour. It's not sometimes. Every time we have to like say the things that we need to say, that we can't say. - Giggly Squad is unfiltered, uncensored, but that's an intimate setting. - We're saying full names in the beginning. We're saying social security numbers, and we need to protect people. - Okay, so anyway, today I make that TikTok of that, like me living my dream life, like doing everything I've ever wanted to do in my life, and it's just like me like. - Yeah, but the rest of the space. - So I put it on, and TikTok obviously like gets it. I put it on my Instagram story. It was anthropology to see who is naturally sarcastic in their everyday life and who is not. Like I had some friends message me being like, "Are you okay?" And other people DMing me, but like it doesn't seem like you are though. You look really sad, and I'm like, that's the joke. - And then if you only think about yourself, like me, I said that was her standing in solidarity with me, showing she's going about her life not smiling. And I said, "I love that for me." - And that was your take on it. - No, that was such a funny post on it. You also posted footage from the Jersey Shore this weekend. How was the Jersey Shore? What did you see? How was the boardwalk? - I think it's just like a classic Jersey Shore weekend. And by that, I mean, I wore really cute outfits and I went to the beach. (laughing) - I literally, like I. - I love a beach, I love an outfit, I love a summer. - I love a beach, I love an outfit. When I tell you, I sat there and I looked at the rest of the girls and I said, "Girls, how did we get here in 2026?" And they looked at me and they said, "We don't know." There was a group of men, okay? And they're standing, they're doing men things. You know, like they're pulling, they're pulling cards and things that hold beverages and they're putting-- - They like to carry things. - Yeah, like they're doing things they're standing there talking. - Picking up, putting it down. - But I had an observation where I said, the men are standing over there talking about their bodies for a full 45, a full 45 about their bodies. And I'm looking at the girls and I'm like, never in my life did I think I would sit here at 33 years old and we haven't discussed our bodies once. - You guys are talking about starting a business. - You guys are talking about stocks. You guys are talking about your dreams. - One of them was pregnant, we didn't even bring it up. (laughing) I'm just gonna, but I was like, guys, sit down. - The men are talking about their hip to waist ratio. - The men have lost it. They're talking about routines. They're talking about proteins. They're talking about different mixes. - But I do think as men get older, as they're testosterone lowers. - If I had to hear about it. - That's like all they talk about, which I know they're triggered by, but like, it's all they talk about. - I think the movie Werewolf was literally just about a guy who overdosed on testosterone when he was like, hitting his middle age and was like afraid. - I think men should naturally lose a little soft, whatever happened to softening in your older age, gracefully, ageing gracefully. In my head I'm just like, you don't have a beauty standard. What are you guys working against? What are you guys doing? - Oh, here he is. - Like, what's your beauty standard? - Do men have a beauty standard? Wait, is my computer about to die now? Like, is there a guy, or like, is there a celebrity that like unanimously men are like he's? - I feel like George Clooney, men like look up too, 'cause he's like the stash. Brad Pitt, I think, like, guys think are hot. You could also, like, if you said, like, Hercules, I feel like, you did, like, the red power ranger. - Do you think they compare their bodies to anyone? And like, who do you think it is? - I know that, like, guys do, but they'll make fun of the guy who's like, really fit if they're not fit. - They're like, "Oh, he's working out a lot." - Leonardo DiCaprio's arguably one of our most famous celebrities and he's had a dad bod for 30 years, and knowing cares. - You want to spend with a week? - Yeah. - To bring it back to women. - Yeah, sorry. - There's a girl going around. - Who used? - And when a girl's going around. (laughing) - I hear Pockelon. - Did you want me to finish those? - Yeah, what is she? (laughing) - I was just like, and she went around. She's using her CPAP, which is this thing, you put in your mouth. - Sleep apnea. - First sleep apnea. She realized she could take her hair and roll it around the CPAP machine, so she could have heatless curls. And in the morning, she had no sleep apnea and gorgeous natural waves. So shout out to her. If you Google CPAP, heat curler, she'll definitely come up. It's been sent to me like, 200 times. - That's extraordinary. - I mean, genius. But going back to body stuff. Really, 'cause I was gonna take it in heatless curls. (laughing) But you know what? - Before we see into, I get tennis stuff, and there's this thing called 1800s, like what girls wore to tennis in the 1800s, which you would have loved. It's just like, corset over corset over. - 'Cause that's like whatever. - That's so practical to run. - But then, are you familiar with what a bustle is? - Isn't a bustle like a big skirt, like the back of a big skirt, like you can pin your bustle up? Like I only know that from like weddings. - So it looks like a big lobster tail. So they'd put this like bustle, which basically was an 1800s BBL. Like you have the outfit going now. Let's put on our bustle. So it made girls look like they had this huge curvy butt. And I'm like, since day one, the girls were getting BBLs. And in no way was that helping your tennis game. If anything, it was just more to carry. - I think the girls are still getting BBLs. - Well now people are rumoring any skinny girl that has a butt. They're like. - Getting a BBL. - That was a mind, a little BBL, or a pad. - Here's the thing, I just love sitting so much. You couldn't. - There's no. - I'm not making a commitment to not sit for like a week. - Oh God no. - Like I'm just not doing that. - You just stand everywhere? - How are you sleeping? - Well I heard that when girls get it done in Mexico and they have to get on the plane, everyone's just standing up on the plane. - I've seen them on the airplane and they're like some are like kneeling on the seats. I've also seen like chairs that like have the butt cut out that you could like sit whatever. But at night time, are you just only laying on your stomach? That seems. That's so bad for my lower back. - I love a stomach sleep. I love a stomach sleep. - Yeah, I can't ever do that. - I love the stomach sleep. It's very grounding. - How does your lower back not. - It's killing me. - It's killing me. - Actually, is that the source of all my lower back pain? - No, it's hurting me just thinking about you sleeping on your stomach the whole night. - Well I start on my stomach, then I go on my side and I end up on my back. It's like a whole routine. Oh, and one more lowest comment. - Did you show lowest my TikTok of all my beach outfits? - No, but I need to. - Yeah, you really do. - I will. I go downstairs and all I did was put some lipstick on and lowest it goes, "You have a pretty face." And they said, "Thank you." And she goes, "Cause you put makeup on." And they said, "Okay." And then she goes, "Do you look like Paige?" - She goes, "You look pretty like Paige." She's so giggly, squat coated. - Her just saying, "You have a pretty face." - It's so giggly, squat coated, just in general. Like-- - She only wants me in glam. - Yeah, same. (laughs) - I'm like literally useless to her without glam. I wake up in the morning bare face and she's like, "What?" And I try to teach her. I said, "Well, you know what, I put makeup on." And she looked at me and she said, "Does this gonna want to marry you?" and I said Lois, Lois, he loves me without makeup on. She goes, why? I'm telling I'm not making this up. This is verbate on what she's saying to me. She goes, why? And I go, because sometimes people like your personality, if you're smart and if you're kind, and she's like, put the makeup on. No. And I'm like, okay, we've learned nothing today. Lois has a pink aura. And I think I think I think I am similar to her in like, okay, sometimes there are things that like, different page. In my 20s and younger and probably even in my early 30s, have there been things that I've done that you could classify as pick me? Yeah, I'm alive. Like, I've done pick me things before. But sometimes when it's like really girly things and people will argue like, I saw a girl on TikTok the other day and it was like, really like beauty routines are inherently misogynistic because like, who are you doing them for? But sometimes I feel attacked in that rhetoric because I'm like, not never once. I'm not going to say that. Like, yeah, have I gotten ready for a guy before? Of course. Well, that's just like, you're attracted to someone you want to do things like to attract a mate. Yeah, but like, my nighttime skincare routine genuinely, I mean, actually, I'm like, is it to like, not look older, but then I'm like, why do I want to know? First of all, there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup. I love makeup. But like, did you wear makeup every day going to your all-girl school? Never not once. But I did on Fridays when I knew I had to go to the boys. No, but there were some days where like, if I wanted to try out like a hairstyle, like, I would do it. Yes. Yeah. Well, like, when we do a photo shoot, I'm not thinking about men, like, are gonna like these pictures of anything they're not. The only boys I'm thinking about if gay men will like this or not. And that actually is in my head a little too much. I had to film something today and I filmed with three girls, four girls, four girls, one guy, two girls, one cop. And as soon as the gay guy came into my chair, I felt as though I had known him for, do you work for a hair salon? What do you mean he came into my chair? Is that next to me, my chair? Yeah, why did I say that? He's there like, how long has it been? Split ends, baby. Split ends. You wonder what? I got a haircut today. So, are you two? No, he came inside next to me and we filmed what we had to film. To the point where someone asked if we knew each other before. And I said, me and gay men, if you're gay, we have. I said, we just we click. We just just something about us. I was with my uncle Johnny all weekend. He's perfect. He got a martini at dinner with all the kids. He had to. He literally was fighting for his life. And then I got in trouble because Lois got up, left her pizza wire is kids food. Looks so good. Hannah, why does it look so good? And I'm like, look around the table. I'm like, if I were to take a bite, they were like, if you take a bite, she'll freak out. And I'm like, is it worth it? It's something the moms have not told us in our DMs. I get DMed a lot of things about being a mom. Like, would we bring things up? And now one of them has ever said anything about the children's snacks. Dino nuggets. I could eat that for the rest of my life. I was sitting at dinner at the other night, having an adult meal of cheeseburgers. I didn't get to my rides eating mac and cheese. I said, where'd you get that? They said, my mom made it for me. I said, where is your goddamn mom? I need a bowl. Kids want to sleep. Things went in the refrigerator. I screwed right over there. I ate their leftovers. So don't leave mac and cheese around me. I it looks so good. I don't even know what brand it was. I think it was like that. What's that really trendy one? No, like noodles and noodles and boot poodles. Oh yeah, koodles. And there's protein on it. Wait till what happened with you and your new bestie? Your new gay bestie in the chair. I hate to sound like an influencer, but I can't tell you right now. You'll see it at a later date. She's teasing. I'm comment. Don't in the chair. No, it's a comment below. I've gotten a lot of DMs about that of like it's diabolical what they're doing. Hannah and I were on FaceTime earlier and Hannah said the word demonic. And I said, oh, I said, oh my god, Hannah, I use the word demonic today. And I don't think I because usually my go to is diabolical. But I said, let me switch. You got to get new words, new adjectives. I love that we both knew it at the same time. That's where we bonded. Should we both just like get a thesaurus and like look around every day? Just change stuff up. You love saying the Soros just then. You're gonna see a thesaurus. There was a 50/50 shot. I was going to get it right right before I said it. The Soros is a contidictionary. The Soros is like when I don't want to say the word. And I want to say it a firm one. And you can't tell me what to say. Yeah. I feel like there was like a phase in my life where my mom was like, if you don't have a thesaurus and how are you doing your homework? And I'm like, I don't think you know who the hell you're talking to lady. We do not see eye to eye when it comes to this school stuff. You go, mom, where I'm going to be, we're not going to need a thesaurus. I promise you. Hannah and her mom will handle the book right now. It cuts me being a New York Times bestselling author. No one's talking about it. No thesaurus. No thesaurus. There's thesaurus in sites. And no chat GBT baby. Dude, I would absolutely crush high school right now. Are you kidding? I don't even get how that's being right. No, I'm very worried. I'm very, very worried. I have more gay lore. Okay. In regards to the little mermaid. Yeah. So the giggler's like you're really on this you're on this case. There's more shit going on with Hans Christian Anderson. Hell yeah. A whole new world. I want to be with the people are, I don't know, they ain't the son of me. No, you just did this. You just run as I'm saying. I'm sick of this podcast. I've had it with this goddamn podcast. I'm tuning. I'm tuning. I wish I could be part of your world. Okay. It's a gay anthem. It's about not being able to be out and be gay. That's why he felt like a mermaid who couldn't be with the people. He wants to be part of their world. Media literacy. It's a lost art. Where they walk out where they talk out where they say all day in the sun. Oh, I have chills. That was his love with with his with his wife who didn't know. Full family. And Hans was just yearning. Hold up. Hold up. The guy that wrote the little mermaid was a gay man who was obviously who was married. I hope so. A straight man being like the little mermaid by Hans Christian Anderson. There's little mermaid. She was in the water swimming. Of course he was gay. Let's check out the big, strong mermaid. Stop. Stop. There's so many things I want to say. I can't wait. So he's married to a woman. And this was his life's work. And this is how he got out that like he was gay. Imagine she's scrolling Instagram today. She's like, what the? What year was this? I should honestly do like one Google search before. There are other podcasts that like say they're like experts and things. And people get mad when they get stuff wrong. It's not this. But I feel like people don't they like prefer us to get it wrong. Hans Christian Anderson. We said the scene early. Gay icon. Hans sexuality is viewed by modern scholars as fluid or bi-romantic. Oh, apparently Edward Edvard. Ooh, Edward Colin Anderson for 10. No, it's his first name. Edward Colin. Edward Colin. Edward. Edward. He had an intense unrequited attachment to his close friend. And he wrote in letters, I long for you as though you were a beautiful collabrian girl. If I had a nickel. Wait a second. Hey, I know I know this exact gay man. I've done later in his life. He was with a Danish ballet dancer named Harold. One time somebody wrote me a letter like a breakup letter like I broke up with him and then he wrote me a letter. and my brother intercepted the ladder. And he goes, bro, I'm gonna give you one piece of advice. Do not give this to my sister. And the guy was like, why? Like I said, a lot of really good things in there. Like I wanted to know how I feel. And my brother said, she's not gonna respect you, dude. He's like, okay, mail me and Gary. I'm just trying to express myself, like my therapist told me to. And you're really getting in the way. I was like, just get back in your car, get out of our driveway. You were never here. - Okay, Hans Little Mermaid was interpreted by literary scholars. And they never give a name when they say literary scholars. I don't know who these literary scholars are. As queer allegory for unrequited same sex love, mirroring the painful longing for his close friend Edvard. - What year? - Oh yeah, that was the first question. - Yeah, see me. - This is why we don't have an expert podcast. - It's, it's powerfully captures the feeling of an outsider wanting to enter a forbidden or unreachable society. - In the year of the lot of our lawyers. - Okay, we'd be so bad in a group project. This is what it's like being in a group project with me and Paige right now. The project was due two weeks ago, by the way. Okay, Hans Christian Little Mermaid, not gay allegations, I'm just trying. Now it like thinks they want. Okay, date? No, he's gonna. - Year. - Okay. Okay, when do you think the film was? If you had a-- - The very first film. I know it was like one of the first. I'm gonna say that little mermaid. Like the movie? - Okay, let me explain. (laughing) I thought you were just gonna throw a number out there. I didn't know there could be follow-up questions. - I was gonna say 1949. - Okay, the book was in 1837 in Copenhagen, Denmark. Fairy Tales told for children, ended in a murder suicide. And the movie was 1989, so like recent. - I was way off on that. - Okay. - Well, if you averaged it to, you were right on. - Wait, I was definitely not gonna get 18, whatever you said. - Yeah. - I love a period piece though. Why isn't there a movie about this man? I would love that. - Maybe there is a documentary. - That would be amazing. Okay, so his wife's definitely not scrolling Instagram and being like, what? - And we've lost Hannah again. - He looks sweet. Sorry, I was interesting comb over. Do you remember when like in the 80s, it was like very, like when men lost their hair, they just combed it over and that was no one made a note. No one was like, maybe they were like this looks good now. A couple months ago on the pot, I said something like, you guys, the men should have a beauty standard and like they should go get their hair done. - Their hair's done. - And like recently, I feel like I don't like it because I don't like the arrogance that I feel like they get after. If you're a gay man, literally go and like do it. Obviously, that's like so exciting. But I feel like some men, it was the only thing keeping them humble. - Not having a beauty routine. - Yeah. Okay, so I have to tell you guys something and I genuinely think I've become one of those people who won't shut up about a blanket. Like if you come to my apartment, I'm making you touch my Lola blanket. The second someone feels that they're like, wait, okay, I need to get it. And honestly, you guys also know I've gifted a lot of Lola blankets because truly, it's the softest blanket I've ever owned. I have the extra large blanket in the color greenhouse and it's made of insanely soft faux fur and it has stretched to it, it's machine washable. And somehow, it still looks brand new even though it's permanently draped over in my couch. These blankets just truly make everything feel so much cozier. The only problem is, I thought about it. The only problem is, I thought I bought it for me but it turns out I actually bought it for Daphne. She has completely claimed every Lola blanket in my house. And every single time I go looking for it, she's already asleep or making biscuits on it. So I finally gave up and ordered her her own Lola bed. The small one in Bondy beige and honestly, it's the best decision I've ever made. She loves being perched up so it's already like a high and perfect height for her and she immediately curled up into it and she didn't even inspect it first which is very different for her. She just loved it right away. And it's made with that same ridiculously soft Lola material but it has an orthopedic foam base so it's actually supportive for pets. It's machine washable and now I finally get my Lola blanket back. Most of the time. For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola blanket products with Code Giggly a checkout. Just head to LolaBlankets.com and use Code Giggly to get 40% off your order. And after your order, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please let them know that Giggly squad sent you. Seriously though, whether you're buying one for yourself or eventually realizing your pet owns everything in your house anyway, you're going to understand the hype the second you touch it. Again, that's 40% off select Lola Blanket products at LolaBlankets.com with Code Giggly. - Do you think men should be allowed to use red light? - Only if I put it on or they have to recover from something. - I was gonna say does put red light on his knees. - He's recovering. - He's recovering. - No, like if like a whole room of red light like in the bedroom before bed, no. - No, well, are you getting those TikToks? People are like, you can get a new red light home. - I have it. - And your home is fully, the ceilings are red light. - I literally did it to myself with the Amazon. - That's what I was talking about today when I said demonic. Like the first time I ever got like a red light like in my room, my mom was like, is this something demonic? Kim is counting her rosaries. - And mom, this is for my wrinkles. - It is giving satanic ritual for sure. Someone's getting sacrificed and it's your wrinkles. - Also, even if it is a placebo effect, I don't care. I love feeling red light before bed. - Have you felt anything? - That's my feeling like I prefer a feeling. - Can't quantify it. - Have you ever felt anything? - I feel something from my, I was just gonna say my thimble. - My tuning works. - That you feel something because like you feel and hear the vibration and that like genuinely works. I'm telling you. - What does it do? - It. - You did not think I was gonna ask a follow-up question to that one. - You said this podcast was about no follow-up questions. You said no follow-up questions on this podcast that we weren't experts. - Whenever I say tuning forks, I get so hungry. - Wait, I'm so hungry right now. - I just ate a reka de broccoli wrap pasta, which is my current hyperfixation. - Well, I feel like broccoli wrap pasta is always your current hyperfixation. - I'm obsessed with little sausage. - Do you know that? - That's like one pasta that I actually hate. - And that's where we're best friends. - Yeah, because if we like the same pasta, then we'd fight over it all the time. - If you go to a restaurant and somebody gives me broccoli wrap, I know I'm giving it rage to you. - I don't know what it is. I think it's like bitter tasting. - Yeah, but I think I like the salty sweet. I'm not gonna get into it. It's, we can agree to disagree. - Okay, we don't need to get into it. - Let's not fight it in front of everyone of it. - I had something crazy happen to me this weekend. And I didn't know this could happen when you were growing up. Got stung by a bee. - Where? - I thought that was the thing that happened to children. - Yeah. - Where? - Well, it was a full family day. And when I tell you like, I'd been up for-- - No, where on your body? (laughing) - Well, it was a crisp, crisp morning. (laughing) - Oh, it's a reading Hans Christian Madison by the, I'm gonna get nice cup of coffee by the window. - No, but it was a family day. - There was a story. - Okay, go, hit me with the story. Set the scene. - At 8.30am, I was awakened by the howling of children. - Yeah. - And I forgot that I was my own home. - Is it not the worst when you wake up tonight? - I was having so much fun though with them. And then more family came over. It was a full Italian gathering. And then after around five hours, like, I'm good. I've said all it needs to be said. I've hit, it only gets worse from here. And the kids are like, we want to go play in the splash pad. That's what they're calling it, really. We thought it was like a little pool and then we took it out and it was just like, you know, when they put out just like rubber with like some water on it. - Hey, that's absolutely no idea what a splash pad is. Is it someplace you go? You buy one. - Do you remember that when you would like, go down what is it called? The water slide that you'd put in your backyard. And then there'd be like one rock and it would just like rip everyone's inside out. - No, I don't know what you're talking. A slip and slide? - Slip and slide. - Okay, okay. - So it's like a mini slip inside. - Okay. - Anyway, I'm like, I'm gonna go with the kids and watch, but I'm already like dying. Like I, it's only five o'clock and I don't know. We have a whole night ahead of us. And I hear buzzing in my ear. And I guess I'm not, the bee I got in my hair and I was like trying to like kind of get it out and then it stung my ear and my finger. I got double stung, and I stop, and I go, I think that's stung by a B. And everyone, everyone like really reacts. Like I was like, are you okay? And then I realized, I have an out. And I was like, let me, let me go downstairs and check. So I grabbed some ice, go to the basement, turn on the tennis chair. - You are a dad. - Pass out for two hours. - You're a dad. - I am literally dad. - You are. - It's over two hours. - Come back. The kids are so excited to see me. They miss me so much. My mom's like, where the hell are you? - Where am I? - I got stung by a B. I could have gone to the hospital. Meanwhile, it was like a very light stay. - Imagine a bit your face, and you could smile again. (laughing) No, but how many things have to happen to me in a given day? - Yeah, well, it's been kind of a crazy summer with like Mercury and retrograde. And like, people are really fighting for their lives. - It's looking better though. - Yeah. - It is, let the side or the side, but overall, it looks better. - No, actually, it's great. - Like that's still going down. - No, your lip is so much better on the top. - And it's wider. - Yeah, it is. - But I digress. - But when your friends are allergic to bees and a bee comes around and they freak out 'cause they could have a serious deathly reaction. - You know what's so crazy is, because we've been around children recently. At one point, there was a small baby child. Could not even speak yet. Was eating something, and I just heard his dad say, does that have nuts in it? - And I mean, I didn't give the food to the baby so I was out of this lawsuit. But my immediate reaction is how crazy when you have a baby, you just have to see if they're allergic to something? - So what do you even do? - I guess you're right. Something has to happen to know if someone's allergic. - Wait, so one day. - You're like, you slow a shellfish out of space. - So wait, as a mom, you guys are all just collectively picking a random day and being like, today's the day we're giving the baby peanut butter. We're gonna fucking see what happens. - Wait, wait, I haven't heard that there's allergy tests. Maybe some moms do it, but back in the day, they didn't have that shit. They were just like, it's time to eat a soybean. What do you think is the most annoying thing to be allergic to? - Well peanut allergies caused a lot of drama because if you have a peanut allergy, no one in your vicinity has a lot of peanuts. So like in school, they'd be like, someone here has a peanut allergy. So no one can have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and everyone's like, what the fuck? - Sometimes even on planes. - Plains? Yeah, they'd be like, someone here. They always have someone, somebody. - Yeah, they're like definitely new. - We're not gonna say a name, but they're all in the prime and that's the peanut allergy. So no one can have peanuts, but apparently, peanut allergies are now, I feel like so popular. - I was gonna say it's so calm. Oh no, no, no, before, what were we gonna say? Who are you? - You know, I am a girlfriend who ate so many almonds. She gave me so much, she became allergic to almonds. - You can overdose the point that your body rejects. - She overdosed on healthiest girl I know, okay? - Well, it's gonna say, if I was gonna overdose on a, I would be a macadamia nut. - Well, I thought. - I'm a fatty greasy one. - Oh, shoot! I'm allergic to pecan. - I'm allergic to pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. No, that's like whenever I was upset about the lettuce going around. I'm like, oh no. I can't have a full salad with every meal. Oh no, dino chicken nuggets again. - Like also, like in my 20s, I had this thought where I was like, oh, one day I'm like, not gonna eat pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. Like I'm gonna be an adult and I'll like make food. I'm gonna eat pasta with butter and parmesan cheese at least once a week until the day I die. - For sure. - Like it's the best thing ever. - For sure. - Here's another thing. Not all parmesan cheese is created equally. - That pause was crazy. That pause for effect was crazy about parmesan cheese. She was like, everyone quiet. Not all is made equal. - Not all parmesan cheese, yeah. - And parmesan. - And if you're not getting like finally graded, you're getting almost like, it's like a little thicker. It doesn't stick to the pasta and the butter at the same time. - So just no, I know our drag race names. - What are they? - I'm Lasagna Del Rey and your parmesan. - Oh, I was gonna say, I don't know why pasta primavera is like stuck in my head. - There has to be something conti about it though. - Oh right. - I actually princess primavera. - What was your first one? - Pajana. - I said parmigiana. - I like that actually. I actually like that one the best. - Parmigiana is iconic. - Now I'm starving. But anyway, I have also a fake tan update. - Okay, I didn't know where we were following a story. - Well, Haley Sharri, Nicola, had full government name, had told me to buy this like Amazon spray tan droplet thing just to like tan your face a little. - Do you ever just like mix with like your moisturizer? - Yeah, exactly. So I bought it and it actually was really good. - Which one? - And it was like cool. I'll put it in the newsletter. It's like blue and white, whatever. It's cheese like eight dollars. So then I put in my make a bag and then of course, it like explodes to make a bag. But I don't know that it's a fake tan that exploded. I just thought something exploded in my make a bag, which if I had a nickel. So I'm just going about my day with something that exploded. And then the next day my hand looks like a cheetah 'cause there's dots all over it 'cause I was like rummaging through my make a bag. And Lois is like what's on your hands. And then I took a hair tie that was in my make a bag and look at my (laughs) - I don't know. - This is the most Hannah thing I, that's ever Hannahed. - This is so, because this is why I can't have fake tan around me. - Was it like when you were rummaging through your bag? Like was it wet? - I thought a moisturizer had like exploded a little and I was like whatever. And I didn't want to go through and wash the 50 things in my make a bag, which an adult might have done. But I was like, I can navigate this. I can deal with adversity. I didn't know that I was literally dying my skin. So I looked like I have just like orange shit all over my hands. - There's nothing worse than when something explodes in your make a bag. - And then I have a toddler yelling at me to put more make a bond. And I'm like Lois, I have a lot of dealing with right now. - Oh my God, I can't believe that happened to you. That is, oh my God. - It's been a week. - Well, at least you know it lasts. It's a great product. And it's long lasting. - And we will put it in the newsletter 'cause look at that, it's not too orange. - And they do what they say and they mean it. - And they mean it. Do you ever do the tan contour? Do you remember that was like a thing for a week? - I haven't done it in a while. Like when's the last time I spray tan? Like before the summer. But I do do it every time I spray tan because I don't. It's not that like I feel like fake tan makes me break out because I don't think it does like some brands, yeah, for sure. But like overall, I don't know. I just like like my skincare routine. So I do my skincare routine. And then I wait for like a really long time so that it like completely seeps in. And then I'll do the contour. There's just something about putting it all over my face. I'm like, I don't know. But then like when I go get a spray tan, like from a woman, I let her do my face and it's like the same thing. - Do you do it during the summer? - No. - I feel like I'm so tan right now. - You are? - And I like got a little sunburn at the beach, which like, no, I've hit the age where I'm mad at myself. Where I'm like, how the fuck did that happen? Like you put some screen on. Like, yeah, that's when you know you're. - That's when you know you're an adult. - Guys, I'm turning 35 in two weeks. - Oh my God. - It's actually so chic. - 35 is chic. And I'm getting all these Instagrams that are just like your 40s are better than your 30s and your 50s are better than your 40s and your 60s are better than your 50s. This woman in her 40s was talking about how she's her happiest in her 40s 'cause she said, your 20s, you don't know what the fuck's going on and then your 30s is everyone is like on a crazy timeline. Like, when are you having kids? When are you getting married? And it's just so stressful 'cause of timelines, but she's like your 40s. Everyone's given up on timelines 'cause things either happened or they didn't and everyone's just living life. - Yeah. - So that's kinda hard. - We're hitting the first rounded divorces. - Oh. - Yeah. - Let me tell you, they're coming in hot. - Are we? We are, I guess. - I feel like. I know, like a couple of people. - I kind of love like losing a friend to a marriage and then getting her back while you're still single and she went through a whole marriage and you're like, "Give that inner girl." - That hasn't happened to me yet, but. - You never know. - You never know. You really don't know. - I have some technological updates from the woman in STEM. The girls, and I think you also, I have to double trek, are posting horizontal Instagram photos. - Okay, well, I'm not trying to do it on purpose. I don't know how to change it. - To get it to stay right here. - Oh, so you did it by accident. - Yeah, every time I do it, it's against my will. - I know how to fix it. Whatever your first photo is, you choose the dump, is what dimensions will keep it. - Okay, I tried that. - So you tried to do long first and then move it? - I don't know. - That's what you have to do. - But Hailey Bieber posted horizontal today. - Oh, she probably can't pick her out. - She might know, I'm thinking she can pick her out. - It's kind of like Regina George when she got her nipples cut and then she was like, "Well," and started walking around and everyone did it. 'Cause you did it, then she did it, and then I was like, "I guess all the cool girls are doing it." - No, I didn't do it on purpose. Well, because you want to know what's annoying when I use my digital camera and I import my pictures, they're horizontal. - So then I can't. - Yeah, just don't have it as the first photo and then move it to the first photo after. - Wow, I feel like IT right now. - In your household, are UIT or is DES IT? - It's so weird, DES is IT. - Well, when it comes to like printers, TVs. - It says. - It's DES, 'cause that's-- - He's really house manager over there, he's? - It's, and he's exhausted. - He came in and he was like, "Who left the umbrella open?" And I was like, "I don't know we had an umbrella." It's chaos over here in these streets. - Hannah, I'm gonna be thinking about how you went downstairs, turned on the tennis channel. All you needed to, fell asleep for two hours. All you needed to do was bet on that game and then wake up to see if you're bet hit or not, and you would have been a dad. - You would have been a full dad, and then you would have gone upstairs and then like, "Dez, the fuck is dinner?" - Right, I was gone for two hours. - No, I love like, when sitting with the men and then the women get up to start cleaning, and I'm like, "Why aren't you guys cleaning?" - Yeah. - They're like, "Why aren't you cleaning?" I'm like, "Why would I clean?" - That is a very stereotypical thing that really grinds your gears. - Well, 'cause I don't know why women are automatically have to clean. They cooked also, especially when they cooked, but actually my household, it's a rule, my nan and my mama cook, and like without, not a second goes by, pop in my dad, are cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and the dishes are, I mean, does that happen in my household? No, 'cause we get to breathe. I'm also going through a little identity crisis with my profile picture on Instagram. - I meant to bring that up to you. Wait, we have to pull it up for the people because if you change it again. - Wait, I need to see what you're at right now, because-- - I changed it again. - I just didn't type in your name. That was so weird. - Would you type in? - Oh, you just changed it right before the pod. - Yeah, but I'm not sticking with that one yet. I was just testing it. - Okay, I liked the one you had before. I thought it was like fun and cute and flirty. But for a second, I was like, should I be, like, is it cool to not have like a professional photo up? Like, I'm like, let's stop being so serious. So then I was just scrolling and I randomly just found a photo of me like doing a kissy face. Like, I didn't even know I had that photo. And it's not even like my favorite photo. I just felt like it was authentic. And then someone said, I don't like your PFP. So then I googled PFP and it's profile picture. So then I was like, okay, some young girl doesn't like my profile picture. So then I panicked before we started the pod and just picked another one. And then Haley texted me. I was like, what's going on with your profile picture? So I'm kind of freaking out right now. - I love being a girl. I love it. I love it so much. I love it so much. Like, no, this is the stuff I'm talking about Hannah. Here's the thing. When I change my profile picture, I look for one person opinion and one person only. And that woman's name, Kimberly Desorbao. - Text your mom. - Really? - See if she likes it. - No, but sometimes my mom will like photos of me that like are pretty. And I don't want a pretty photo. - My mom speaks in very like, honest terms. - Well, like almost like, honest, but like in an old school of like what year is it? Like she'll be like, you look tough. I'm like. (laughing) I'm like, what? Like I get beat someone up. You just, you look harsh. I don't like that. - We're like the Myspace generation. And we like to reinvent ourselves with a profile picture. - She likes when they look elegant. Where sometimes I want to look a little bad, you know? - Yeah, you're a bad girl. - Yeah. - You're a naughty. - I'm gonna be a bad girl. Sometimes you're a bad girl. I feel like with mine, I had my Hulu special, which is still available to watch. And, but I was like feeling like, okay, I don't need my Hulu special photo up anymore. And then I was thinking of like random cool girls who like they have like their, their photo of them as a kid. They're like, I'm just silly. - Yeah. Where it's like, it's not even like a picture of them. - Yeah. - You want to know who has a real like who I always think is really good, Josephine. Josephine has had the same picture of a dog that is not even her dog for years. - See, that's cool. It makes no sense. - It was a dog she saw on the street. When you, and when you ask her about it, she has a cool story. - Yeah. - It was a dog she saw on the street in Japan. And it's like, yeah. - Oh my gosh, she's so cool. - Yeah, I'm like that is like really cool. - I think that I didn't consider trying to be cool. And then I didn't know how to be cool. And now. - And those are the coolest girls of all. That's what you're my best friend. - You have to rework it. - Wait, you literally just, you said don't say that about my friend. - Yeah, you're the coolest girl you know. - You're literally so cool. - And also like what makes a person cool? Being hilarious and gorgeous. - Okay, check, check. But like, you know what I was thinking, I think at the past, people think I'd be cooler if I didn't smile as much. - You want to know what, you're so nice. That's what it is. - So this is so approachable. And usually like really nice people don't get the word cool thrown around. And if you get the word cool thrown around, you also have to be ready for bitch. - You're right. - So like I take the good with the bad. - She goes, if you want to be cool, you also have to be a bitch. - You're gonna live this life. - And you can't handle that kind of heat. You can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen bitch. - Yeah, I feel like you're so nice. - You're cool, but like not, you're actually like so sweet. Like you're not mean at all. But like I know there's people in this industry who are mean. - Yeah. - And everyone's like, they're so cool. And I'm like, when did it become cool to be mean? - Well people are scared of them. - I feel like people are scared of them. And like they're the kind of people that like, they're like if you don't have group mentality, I think like me, you're not cool. Where I feel like we're not group mentality people. - We're not, we're not. - That's why sometimes we're not that cool 'cause we're like, we don't want to. We're not going. Like how many times are we like, actually we're not going. Like we don't care. - No, sometimes we're not cool 'cause we are not group mentality. And then sometimes we're cool 'cause we're not group mentality. And it's like 50/50. - Can you just say the same thing twice? - Yeah. But also, I think I was playing too much tennis under my high school years. I didn't think about these things and you did. - About being cool? - About like how you're perceived. - I started being perceived at a very young age so I had to think about it. Like I didn't want to think about it but I had to. - And I was purely perceived in the sports realm which is literally like, that's a score bitch. That's a score. - And I think that's why I like, I always leaned more mysterious. That's why it's so crazy that I even did reality TV. - No, I'm not mysterious. I'm not mysterious. You know, it's funny. We never talk about this but page at first during the, what's an auditioning process? That was wrong. - Yeah. - I remember I had heard back, Jordan heard back and you heard and heard back yet. And I remember seeing you and, sorry, was that public knowledge? Okay. - I'm like, okay, what did I do? - No, but I remember seeing you like in the office. - And it wasn't that I didn't hear back. I didn't get it. - Oh, see, I just didn't know if you like, I didn't, I didn't hear that you got told no. But I remember thinking like she looks too cool. - I didn't know, I didn't get told no. I didn't know I didn't get it. I just assumed by not hearing back. And then when they called me and said two girls dropped out, I was like, oh, so I wasn't, I was like, so I wasn't paid. - Well, 'cause let's be honest, you were shy. - Stylish, very New York, Scorpio, I didn't see you as someone who wanted to be all out there. - No, I didn't. - I didn't want to at all. - I could see you as a news reporter. - I just knew it was gonna get me something else that I wanted. And that's why I did that. - I remember. - See, I've never been mysterious today in my life. - Yeah. - And the producers were like, this is gonna be good. (laughs) - I don't wanna say it. like I knew, like I knew how to gain the system because you don't at all. Reality TV is so crazy. But I definitely, there were certain times where I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm not doing that. You were always better at saying no to situations where I was a little more desperate to be like, but they won't like me or they'll get mad if I don't like join in. Where you're, you knew from a young age she knew she was a bitch. I've been yelled at anyone in a while. Yeah, because you're, you're not being paid to. I know. Oh, that felt good. That was an eyelash. See, and this is how it happens when you're like, and who's eyelash is this? Right. Do you just get in a fight with yourself? You were like, and then later on in the day, when I forget that I put that there, I'm going to go fight with someone. I haven't yelled at someone in a second. But that is fun just to go out to a guy and be like, who's eyelashes is? No, do you know how many times I've fought with boyfriends where I've been like, who is this? And then I'm looking at it and I'm like, that is mine. Remember when I didn't know about where it does is about the shorts? I thought it was a woman's short and does is like, those are my European shorts. Vaguely. I vaguely remember this. Wait, did you text me or call me? When we first started dating right under his bed, there were like these little shorts, and I was like, "Is this a soccer mom's shorts?" Is he like, does he have a soccer family? And I literally was like, "Who shorts?" And he's like, "Mind her from Ireland." Finally, also, people are putting multiple captions on their Instagram photos. Have you seen this? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? It's like homework. I'm so glad you brought that up. Because like, stop. No, like, truly stop. Wait, you're telling me you're putting, you're doing a dump of 18 photos with 18 different. The anxiety it took me to even post this dump and think of one caption. You want me to think of, boom. Like, I didn't make sure I didn't accidentally go horizontal. But that's, didn't we used to do that with Facebook albums where you'd comment under every photo that you posted? Do you remember that? You'd be like, "Stephanie lost in beer pong, LOL." Wait, that's like a real caption I had. Stephanie never lost, though. Stephanie's really good. Also, the stuff people would put from you go to a party and you'd get papped, basically, the entire time by random. By ourselves. I literally literally papped each other. And then you'd have the worst photos on of you. Maybe people making out doing illegal things. And I'm like, you just posted that on the Facebook album. And we were out live and we were not cringe. And we like, do you remember when people got drunk for the first, like. Yeah. When people were getting drunk for the first time, there was an inevitable crash out. Like, if you're drunk for the first time, you have to add some point crash. That was scary. Ow. I was scared, everyone was scared. And I just feel like, I feel like the kids aren't doing that. Well, it's definitely not being recorded. I mean, it is on a digital camera, but it gets deleted. We used to not even look through it. You just took the chip, put it in and press post. Yeah, but they have a way worse than us. Like, literally everything they do gets recorded. And so to think that, like, some of those nights when you're like a senior in high school would be. Yeah. Actually, again, that actually makes me scared. No, yeah. But we were talking about, like, when our kids one day, people were like, "What if your kid finds out you did a reality TVI?" They said, "Good. They should learn about history. They should learn about betrayal. They should learn about storylines. And they should learn about character development and growth and non-growth." Was it you that I was just talking to this about? I was just talking about this to someone and I was like, "I used to be like, oh my god, I would be like, kind of like, not ashamed, but like. " No, you're going to sit my child down and be like, an after-world war two. There was summer house. And now I'm going to sit and I'm going to be like, "Look at this man. Look at his face on the screen." If anyone ever says these words to you. If anyone speaks to you like that, this is what I want you to see mommy stand here. You got to stay firmly planted two feet. Do you see how my finger goes right into his face? And that's going into his soul, okay? And he's going to wake up in his 60s and that's still going to be repeating in his head. He's never going to find peace. And that was our lesson for today. Thank you guys for giggling with us. Have an incredible beautiful week. Do it. And we'll talk to you later. Bye!