Getting cheated on & co-parenting 7 kids w/ 4 fathers ft. Kail Lowry

You don't need to have a child with every fan that you're with. Sex won't make him love you and a baby won't make him stay. You may know Kayle Lowry from 16 in pregnant and the teen mom franchise. Have you ever tallied up how much money you've spent in court for custody? Overall, it was a little over a million dollars. Over 90% of it is on one dad. While raising seven kids with four different fathers and building a media empire, Kayle recently suffered a devastating public breakup calling off her engagement to her fiancé, Elijah Scott. The girl that he cheated on me with went on TikTok to do a story talk. What is it like to find out news like that with three million other people? I was floored. Kayle talked with us about finding out she was cheated on through a viral TikTok, losing her father after years of a strangeness. And why she's falling in love all over again. I fell in love in 24 hours. 24 hours. I hadn't seen him in four or five years. I knew that I loved her and it was crazy because I've never felt this way. Kayle, Lowry, welcome back to Unplanned. Yeah, I think this is the first podcast that I've ever been invited back to. Wait, no way. Yeah, I'm excited. You're kidding me. Not in a bad way, but just like you got to make your rounds with other people. And so I'm excited. Yeah, I was so, when EBM texted me, I was like, yeah, I'll do it. This is cool. It's been two years. Yeah, it's two years. Nearly two years. A lot has happened in two years. Yeah. I think to be honest, I started getting like fed clips of you on different shows. And you were talking about some like wild stuff and I'm like, oh my gosh, what happened in Kayle's life? There's been a lot. Yeah. So I guess for someone that hasn't seen any of the headlines or the news, like, how would you catch somebody up that hasn't seen you in two years? Wow. First of all, to your point, my son yesterday or two days ago, before we came to Arizona, he's like, mom, when did you do all these podcasts? Because I guess they were coming up on his for you, and he said, when did you do all these? And I said, well, what do you think I do when you're at your dad's? I don't just sit around. I got you hustling. I have to work. You know what I mean? But how would I summarize it? Well, the last time I sat down with you guys, I think I had just had the twins fairly recently. Maybe they were about a year old, maybe. So they're two and a half now. And then I found out their dad cheated on me on a cruise that I paid for. And the girl went viral on TikTok. And so I found out 10 months after the fact. And then he moved out, and he's my neighbor. And then two of my kids' dads moved out of state. And I think, well, I got a new boyfriend who I've known since high school. And then we're hoping to move to North Carolina. So I mean, I'm in a nutshell. That's like the main points. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. I feel like someone could make a movie about your life, to be honest. I would love it. Can I make myself? Can I make myself? Yeah. If anybody knows anybody making movies about real life, kill our everybody, how are you processing through all that? Are you in therapy? Sometimes. I saw that you take Adderall to help with ADHD. I'm the same way. I took it actually before the interview. Oh, did you? I did. I forgot mine. You forgot yours? So I go, I asked my boyfriend. He said, hey, can you grant me my medicine? I'm on that in Prozac for anxiety. He pulled it out of my bag and he's like, there's two bottles of Prozac and no Adderall. And I said, great. Have you accidentally ever taken your Adderall and Prozac at the same time? Yeah. Well, I thought I was supposed to. No, I took it at the same time. Am I not supposed to? One time. When I was on Prozac, I took it at the same time and it like I felt like it was crazy. Like my heart started beating really fast and I talked to my doctor. I was like, is this is this okay? And he was like, oh, that's not supposed to happen. Don't take those at the same time. So I would take one in the morning and one at night. Are you serious? Are you joking? Well, because, okay, because Prozac is for anxiety, it's an antidepressant too, right? I'm having anxiety right now. Where's the Prozac? Where's the Prozac? I need a boot bar immediately. Wait, okay. So take Prozac at night. Yeah, because I would take my Adderall in the morning and then the Prozac at night so that they weren't mixing and messing up my serotonin levels. And it's called serotonin syndrome when you have this adverse reaction and then sometimes you have to be, like, hospitalized if it gets a little too crazy. Anyway, that's a side, that's a side tangent, that's a side tangent. No, I definitely need to look into that. Thank you for letting me know. I wonder why I'm so crazy all the time even on meds. And honestly, when it happened to me, I was like, where am I? This is crazy. You're like, am I an Allison? Yeah, seriously? Seriously. Wow. Okay. Last time we chatted, you were engaged. And then- Oh, I forgot about that, yeah. Yes, you were engaged. And then how, like, what was the timeline? I found out when I was in LA, I was working, actually, I was on a work trip, I was in mid-recording and I was, we were doing a podcast swap. And so we finished Sereya's episode and then I, they pulled me aside, I didn't have my phone, they pulled me aside, learned that I went back in, finished taking the pictures, I'm crying, I'm like, I can't do the other podcast, like I need to get home. I took a red eye home. I had told my assistant at the time he needs to be moved out by the time I land. Yeah. So he moved out. And so then I landed at 7 a.m., he was gone. And then I would say, the relationship with Isaac did happen really quickly, it was about six weeks later. But I also knew him since before my oldest son was born. So to me, it didn't feel super rushed, like I already knew who he was and we kept up with each other over the years. And so I know a lot of people that saw this on social media were like, oh my God, what is she doing? Like this is insane and it is insane for sure. But like, he's not a stranger I didn't know. Yeah. So, six weeks. So this was 10 months after it happened? Yeah. I found out 10 months later, yeah. Because of a video that was posted on TikTok? Yeah, the girl, I guess, that he cheated on me with went on TikTok to do a story time. But where I was in Calabasis, there was no service. So even if I had had my phone, I wasn't getting, I wouldn't have gotten service to see the video. Everyone saw that there. I think that video had around 3 million views before I ever got to it. Oh, you're kidding me. What is it like to find out news like that? So personal, like with 3 million other people. I was floored because if you knew my ex, which were on really good terms now, I do think that good people make bad choices sometimes. We're on really good terms. So this isn't, and he's also a lot, he's six years younger than me. It would, if you knew him and you understood, like, when I say that he's not a people person, everybody was floored. It wasn't just me. It was the people who know him and the people who are in our personal lives were absolutely floored because he doesn't talk. Like, if you're around him, he doesn't, he's not super friendly. He really doesn't smile a whole lot. Like he's just very stoic, I think, is the word. And so we were all floored that he even had the ability to do this. And so it was, it was wild. Like, was there any part of you that didn't believe it? You guys were like, this is just a random girl on TikTok. I knew right away because I'm talking to my assistant on the phone because I had, while Sandra does my podcast production and then my assistant was home in Pennsylvania. And so she was like, there's this girl on TikTok and she's saying that, you know, she slept with Elijah. And I said, okay. And at first I was like, whatever. And then I said, is there any pictures? And she said, there is a picture of her touching his arm. And I said, okay, then he did it because he's that type of person. If someone, if he allowed someone that close to him to touch his arm, he did it. Like I already know because that's, you have to break through layers and layers and layers to get to this man. So there's just no other, he did it and then he did try to deny it at first, but then ultimately he came clean. Yeah, I was going to ask, how did that conversation go down when you got back home? We didn't have a conversation right away because I had asked for him to be moved out. And so we didn't have a conversation right away. But when we did have a conversation, he texted me and he said, can we talk? And I said, unless you're going to answer the questions that I already know, the answers to unless you're going to be honest, there's no reason to have a conversation. So at that point, he came over and we did talk. And this wasn't the first time you've been cheated on, right? No, for sure not. How? How? But I've also cheated too. Oh, you've also cheated too. Not on him. I didn't cheat on him. I wasn't, I didn't cheat on Elijah, but I have cheated on like in the past. Having been a cheater, having been cheated on, what would you tell to somebody? How would you explain all of that to someone that's never gone through it? It's absolutely not worth it whatsoever. Like on one, when you are the cheater, right, because I've been one, you can't sleep at night because of what you've done or what is in your phone or what somebody could tell somebody or somebody, you know what I mean, like it's just not worth it to have. And also when the other person finds out and they're crushed, like there are X's, there's two X's to this day. And I did them dirty. And I, to this day, if I saw them in public, I would apologize. Because there's, it's for what? Or what? Because you, I loved the way they loved me, but I didn't want to be with them. So why didn't I end it? Like that was so selfish. And then on the flip side of it, I got my karma. I've been cheated on multiple times by X's and I mean, I would have done anything for those people. Do you know what I'm saying? So like, don't do it. It's not worth it. For your own peace of mind, for their peace of mind, for just the future, for whatever it is that you're trying to build, what is the point? I found it really interesting. I was reading through some of your Instagram content or comments, which I feel like when you read through comments sections, you have to, you have to take that with a, a grain of salt. You, did I say that right? I always get that. No, you didn't. I always say salt. I always say that. I always say that term wrong. I don't know why. You crushed it. That's how I was like waiting for it. I was like, you have to take reading comments. So the grain of salt, anyway, I'm reading your Instagram comments and I found it very interesting everybody was asking for you guys to get back together. Yeah a lot of people are wanting you to reconsider Getting back with him. Mm-hmm. How did you take that? You're saying this with them. I'm also saying There's nothing that Isaac hasn't already heard and we are very open about it We talked about we actually both have we I had merged that said recovering Cheaters because both of us are recovering Cheaters No way. Yeah, for sure like and you have to own it in order to move forward and so I love that about you We know who we were and we know who we want to be and that's not it, you know So now we just joke about it You guys have trust issues. Are you like are you giving your phone like no only thing that I will say is I'm like Okay, he wasn't what super well traveled before me So now I'm like are you gonna fall in love with like a random makeup artist I have or something But that's not on him. That's like my own Insecurity, you know what I mean? Like locked down makeup. He was he's seen what has happened with Elijah cheating Like if he were to try to cheat on me someone's gonna tell me. Yeah, get ready for a three-part patreon series Saying that I should get back with Elijah felt I make that No, because everyone was capitalizing off my pain. So I was like, well, why can't I capitalize off my own damn pain honestly good for you Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, because I'm sure there was a lot of articles about it I'm sure I'm sure the media Tick tocks and you know people can get paid on tiktok and YouTube and so for me it was like I have to just You got to hear it right from the source What do you think was at the angle of the girl that like released it like that made the tiktok? Do you think was she able to monetize that stuff for sure because she was already apparently and I This is I don't know if this is a legend But apparently she had like 200,000 followers on snapchat And so she was already kind of doing and I think maybe only fans Oh, I don't know if you knew I think maybe maybe she was doing only fans or something and doing spicy content or whatever And so I think that that was like a wafer because why are you telling us ten months later? And she had liked posts of me and Elijah together on instagram between the times she slept with him and the time that she Announced it. Oh really? Yeah, she liked our pictures from Spain That we they slept together may of 2024 we went to spain November of 2024 and she liked all those pictures So either you didn't recognize him with all his clothes on or like I don't Was was he from his perspective was this like a one-night stance or a thing? Yes, okay, then no numbers were exchanged no comments no social media to my knowledge Obviously People will come out of the woodworks and say if that's inaccurate, but to my knowledge I don't think that they had any sort of relationship or like Communication yeah, so but I think you asked me about comments and people asking for us to get back together yes It felt a little bit like a slap in the face because when I was with my ex before him And we have two kids together. He was just a cheater all the way around and so for me it was like Everyone harass me to leave him and you're better than that. Why are you with him? And so I finally built up the courage to leave him and now I'm with someone who cheated and I left him too And now it's get back together so like you can't win whether you're with them or not And I'm not saying that you can't get through in fidelity. I do think that some people can I really do But for me, I just this is that wasn't it for me How do you maintain healthy relationships with all of the fathers of your kids? How do you how do you communicate and Make sure that the kids are where they need to be and that they're being taken care of you said that too have moved out of state Yeah, so My oldest son he's 16 now. I think Last time we were together. I think it was like 14-ish maybe His dad and I don't really communicate a whole lot We we really just my our 16 year old is old enough to kind of do Come and go at least he's welcome to come and go at my house as he pleases if he wants to stay at his dad's longer He can he just says to let me know I don't know what the rules kind of are at his dad's house But my second kid my second son's dad he moved to Virginia last year and We had just decided that he would stay with me for the school year go to dads on long breaks from school three day Weekends and then all summer so he's there from the last day of school till about a I think like a week before school starts Okay, and we do email only unless we're gonna do a phone call then we schedule the phone call via email and if necessary My assistant can be on just for a second set of years We really try to keep it mainly about Lincoln like it's very rarely do we kind of I guess fall out of that But we're really email only my Lux and Creed's dad Chris and I we have a court ordered app that we have to communicate on But we also don't really communicate a whole lot um we don't get along even on that court ordered app so we just Don't communicate at all and then he latches my neighbor um We're fine to text call we've never been through the court system We never did anything like with custody or anything like that We just automatically went to 50/50 and we just communicate as needed and we get along Thank you to Shopify for sponsoring this portion of today's episode you guys in case you didn't know We actually powered our website for the Bizwell Beauty makeup company through Shopify Anytime you start a new business. 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So go make it once start your free trial at Shopify.com Slash unplanned start your free trial at Shopify.com slash unplanned Thank you to NutriFull for sponsoring this portion of today's episode Summer is full of vacations we can getaways and spending more time outdoors And when you're packing for a trip the last thing you want to be worrying about is your hair That's one reason I really love NutriFull and recommend it as a part of your daily routine It's helped me in different stages of my life feel more confident about my hair because the thing is in the summertime We're getting in the pool. We're getting wet. 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NutriFull offers multiple formulas for men And women tailored to different life stages like postpartum or minipause And lifestyle factors such as a plant-based diet so you get support that's actually right for you Let your hair become one less thing taking up space in your head And see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with NutriFull For lemon to time, NutriFull is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription And free shipping when you go to NutriFull.com and enter promo code unplannedpod That's NutriFull.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code unplannedpod Help me understand the court ordered app versus email communication with with your ex Why why the difference is there is as you know is that to do with not wanting to Um, I don't know like if you're able to if someone's calling somebody on the phone It just brings up trauma for you. I'm guessing to talk to each other So is it is it easier for mental health purposes just to keep it all over email? No, I think my because that's my ex husband my second son's dad is my ex husband I think that it's just best that we keep everything in writing It has the date has a timestamp. We've also never gone in front of a judge We filed for what we have now on our own like we sat down in a room with our attorneys Came up with this agreement filed it with the court And so it just is more like a seamless and no lines are blurred. There's no questions to be had And also I think it provides like a A time if either one of us is frustrated or has like an emotionally charged response It gives the other person time to like sit with it for a minute You can't just respond right away. There's no texting. There's no calling. There's no you do know what I'm saying And so Like this morning he emailed me and said hey, I just left um the school with Lincoln to pick his classes Can you talk and I was like yeah call me whenever Schedule it via email Do the phone call and then summarize it in an email. So it just is more for Just everybody I think The court ordered one is because We don't get along at all and it's just a bunch of back and forth and I were in and out of court all the time So have you ever tallyed up how much money you've spent in court? Yeah 350,000 dollars in the year of 2025 alone Oh my goodness. Mm-hmm on one dad That's not on all four there was something that came out because I did the cost of custody series on my patreon And people were like I guess like the headlines were thinking that maybe that was on It overall it was a little over a million dollars, but it It's not over 90% of it is on one dad. The rest of them, like Joe and I have not gone to court in probably 10 years, if not more. How do you and I have never gone in front of a judge for custody or our divorce? Everything was outside of a judge, and then the one dad is all court. - How do people that have traditional jobs afford that? - They don't, they don't, and that's so sad. And I say that, I talk about that in my series, it's like, and I cannot preach enough, and I know that people will say, oh, well, she's a hypocrite. This isn't somebody to look up to. No, I'm not, and I've never claimed to be, but I am speaking from experience when I tell you, it is best case scenario for the children, and best case scenario for the parents, to come to an understanding and an agreement outside of court, if you have to get an attorney, okay? But you were gonna spend $3,000 to retain this attorney to sit down in a room and do this paperwork and hash it out for an hour if you have to in a room, and then file it with the court, then to go file with the court, and then you're filing rule to show cause, and then you're filing for contempt, and then you're filing for modification, and then you're filing for more time, and then it's the lawyer and the fees, and then you have to take off of work. So like, stay out of court. I get that it can't always be done, but if you can just put your pride aside for one minute, and think about the kids. Love your kids more than you hate the other parent, stay out of court. Does he also have to pay around the same amount? No, he doesn't have an attorney, and he works part time. So then how does that work? The court offers leniency to pro-say people, so because he doesn't have an attorney, and because he asks for the court to waive his filing fees, they do offer leniency because he doesn't have counsel. That's super interesting actually, and just so sad. It is, I wish that. I do wish that we could at least come to an understanding where like we could put the kids first, but. What are the kids understanding of like what's going on when you're in and out of court with their dad? They know, the kids know, they're five and eight, and they know. That is really hard, I can't even imagine. But it's my fault, because I should not have, I mean, if I could have the exact same kids with either no dad or the same dad, I didn't do myself any favors by, you know, having multiple kids' fathers. Do you know what I mean? I didn't do myself any favors with that. Does that make you hesitant at all to have more kids at this point in your life? Oh, I got my tubes cut out, my tubes cut out. Yeah, I made a joke about doing IVF for like, Isaac and I to have a kid, it was, I was being sarcastic. People did not, they didn't understand it. Or some people took in a ram with it. They said that I did 12 rounds of IVF, and I was like, I didn't see that. No, I literally was being, so I was asking him on a podcast, like, oh, how many rounds of IVF did we do? Because I got my tubes cut out. And people really thought I was being serious. Okay, wait, but hypothetically. You can, I can't do IVF. I have hypothetically. Hypothetically, but like, and. It would be insane. It was insane for me to have seven kids. Like, it would be insane for me to have another one. Hey, I was like, if someone could do it. Can I look like a habit? I want to move out of Delaware, and I don't, so far, we're not having any luck of already existing houses with the amount of rooms that we need. So I think we're going to pass on another child. Yeah, how many rooms do you currently have? Six bedrooms, six baths. The twins are in the same room. Six bedrooms, six, that's a big house. That's a really big house. No, I know. Probably this size, like 5,000 square feet. 5,000 square feet? Yeah, I think it's just all about, like, the layout. Yeah, yeah. So, like, my house is more like a bigger foundation instead of going up this way. It is this way, does that make sense? Ah, yeah, yeah. So trying to figure out, and I built this house when I only had four kids and no man. So I was like, I'm building this house. Like, it's custom, and I have four kids, and there's a guest room, and there's all these things, right? And then. You're like, we'll have all this space. What a mistake that was. So now we're trying to move, and I'm like, how am I going to fit seven kids into a house that's already existing, but like, how would I build a house out of state? Like, I don't know how I would build a house out of state, so I'm looking at ones that are already built. What is it, like, ring your boyfriend home with your ex as the neighbor? You're driving away, huh? Yeah, we share a driveway. So the original farm, his house that he lives in is the original farm house to the farm, and then they subdivided it into four plots. And so I ended up buying the land to build on. Before he bought his house, the farm house, and so when it started building, I had met him. And so we split a driveway. But I mean, it's fine. I don't mind. I mean, is it a little too close for comfort sometimes? Sure. But other than that, I mean, it hasn't caused any issue so far. As someone that has seven kids with four different dads, what advice would you give the young women about having children? Well, one, wait a little bit longer to have kids period, but two, you don't need to have a child with every man that you're with, a baby. Sex won't make him love you, and a baby won't make him stay. That's really sad. It's really sad. Really sad. But hindsight is always 2020. I didn't know that when I was doing all the things, right? Like, when I was, I just wanted to be loved so bad. I wanted to have a family so bad. And that's where my mind was. I think people look at my situation, and they're like, this is insane. Like, the kids are going to hate her. Like, this is chaotic. I just wanted a family. That's what it wasn't that I was just sleeping around. I was with these people in a relationship with these people and wanted a family. So I think that's where people misunderstand me specifically. I think, you know, just my take. I think it's pretty incredible what you've been able to do with everything going with everything that's going on in your life and has gone on in your life. It is a lot. The fact that you can pay over a million dollars to the courts of Delaware for custody battles is pretty crazy. The fact that like you've made that money. I did just pay that attorney off in April. No way. So three months ago, I was able to pay that attorney off, yeah. Like, completely sealed the deal. My bill is done, thankfully. What is that like having been so involved? I don't know a ton about family court. Like, having been in and out of it so much, like what reform would you like to see? Or if any, if you're like, oh, this is just how it is. Or I can't think of any like reform. The thing is that where I live, you can wave mediation. And so for some people, it's not great because then we're seeing we're in front of the judge all the time where mediation can be really beneficial for some people to not have to go in front of the judge. And so it gives them kind of what I was describing earlier, like meeting up with your attorney, sitting in a room, trying to come up with like something that works for everybody that you kind of don't like. But it's it works versus getting it to the judge. I don't necessarily where I'm at, I wouldn't necessarily say any reform. But I think not allowing people to wave mediation I think would be first. What's the benefit of not taking it to the judge? The judge could ultimately decide what he feels or she feels is in the best interest of the child. And he doesn't know that child or those children. And so you might have been able to come up with something with your previous partner that works kind of for both of you, but best interest of the child where the judge might say, okay, well, now it's this and that doesn't work for anybody. - That makes sense. - And that's in Delaware, I can't speak for other states. In Delaware, if you the judge rules on whatever your custody order is, you have to keep that in place for a minimum of two years. - Okay. - You cannot refile unless there are extenuating circumstances that would allow them to change whatever was ordered for those two years. - Whereas mediation can be reviewed. - Yeah, like if you do it on your own and you file paperwork on your own, you can always go back and modify if something changes or whatever that looks like. - With how much you've been in the courts, have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? - Yes, that's like my dream. - Remember that was your plan last time? - That's right, yeah, when the twins go to kindergarten. So they're two and a half. So when they go to kindergarten, I really, really want to go to law school. I wouldn't do family law though. In no world would I do law, I would never do family law. I could not, nobody wins in child and nobody wins in family law, nobody. - Feel like if I were you, I'd be watching legally blonde every night. - Yes. - It's just that you don't have to cut the lawyers on my podcast because I'm like, I need to pick their brains. Like I need to know all the things. So yeah. - What area of law interests you? - Entertainment, 'cause I also have experience with that and you guys know Nicole. She's been my entertainment attorney for eight or nine years and I just love her and I love that. I could negotiate for people. I've been on both sides of it. So I feel like I could make a good entertainment attorney if I'm, I don't know if I would litigate though. Like I feel like that would be a lot. - Something I thought was very interesting is you were on 16 pregnant as a 16-year-old. Obviously now your son, Elliot, he's 16. How does that feel that your son that was on the show when you were 16 is now the same age? - Your baby is now the age that I were. - When you had him. - He's a better human than me though. Like he's doing all things. Like I feel like I was missing so much in so many areas of my life that led me down that path. My son, I mean he's in national honor society. He's driving, he can get straight A's. He volunteers all the time. Like he's fluent in sign language. Like he's just such a good kid and I just feel like, I don't know. Like I got really lucky I feel 'cause I don't know how he turned like the mom like me. I don't know how he turned out like that. You know, so you're cutting yourself short. He's a good kid and I'm just glad that he's, I tell him all the time that he, I was doing way worse things than he is. So when he's having like a little situation and I'm like it could be worse. Like it's okay, we're gonna get through this. It could be so much worse and he's such a good kid and he's mostly positive about everything. So I hope. - It seems so sweet. And he has gone through a lot since the last time I'm gonna talk to, like as far as like even changing his name and he's so good at like sharing his own story and we'll let him do that too. But as a mom, what is that? that like with your child, like going by a different name than you gave him. - I'm okay with it, 'cause it's middle name. And I think people are so confused, but people go by their middle names all the time. - Right. - I will say I was a little surprised to learn that he had done it at school before I knew. - Oh, really? - Yeah, and so he switched from a middle school in the town that we are at, and in Delaware you can go to any school that you want. You don't have to like pay tuition or whatever, you can literally go anywhere. So he was like, "Mom, I wanna go to the school." He got into it and I got paperwork, his freshman year. And it said Elliot, and I was like, hold up, wait, what is this? - Well, that's not actually-- - Yeah, I was like, "Wait, are you going by Elliot?" And he was like, "Yeah." And I said, "Oh, okay, like how long have I been going on?" He's like, "All school year." And I said, "Okay, so like, are you writing that on your papers?" And he's like, "Yeah." And I said, "What do the teachers call you?" And he's like, "Elliot." And I was like, "Okay, like if that's how you feel, like I'm proud of him that he was able to make that executive decision for himself, he did not ask how he felt about it." And I'm perfectly fine with it. It's so harmless, but if it feels true and authentic to him, I'm proud of him for making that decision. I guess he was 14 at the time. So I'm proud of him for it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That would be weird to find out in hindsight though. You're like, "They all know you as this, but we're all calling you this." - Well, I felt bad. I was like, if you wanted to go by Elliot, I more so felt bad in hindsight, 'cause I was like, oh my gosh, like, did you say that to me and I wasn't listening, like, tell me. And he's like, "No, I just, it was just easier to go by that at school." - What does it feel like to be the breadwinner when it comes to doing relationships that you're in? - I don't wanna do it anymore. I want someone else to make the money. I hate it. It's not a good time. And I would imagine that my partners feel some level of resentment throughout our relationship. I would imagine, I don't know that to be true, but I don't like it. Why resentment to you? - Well, I think that in today's society, I mean, always really is like men are the breadwinners, men are the providers, women are the nurturers. They should, you know, be home and be the home makers. And I think that I didn't have a choice. Like, I have built everything that I've built off of pure survival and desperation. So it's like, I didn't know that it was gonna come to this, but I think that, I don't know. And it also, I don't wanna like hurt my partner because I am the breadwinner. I don't want us to not feel like equals. Does that make sense? - Do you think it would feel that way if it was the other way around where your partner was the breadwinner? Or is it because you are the breadwinner winner as a woman? - I'm just so sure. - That is such a good question. I don't know. - Yeah. - I know that when I wasn't the breadwinner, when I was with Joe, and obviously we were young so it could be a little bit different as adults. I felt helpless and I felt like I didn't offer anything in the relationship. And so now I feel like this is the only thing I can offer. And that's also really hard. Like I really struggle with that a lot. - That's interesting that you've been on both sides of the equation. And you didn't like either side. Do you think maybe somewhere in the middle would be your perfect situation where you're like making some money, but you're not like fully responsible for paying all the bills? I mean, what's the place that you see hope in for the situation you're in? - I think that the percentage situation has worked out pretty well. We're regardless of who makes what, instead of going 50, 50, you're going 20%. Because my 20% is still 20%, but it doesn't equal to your 20% of bills, right? Or mortgage or whatever it is. I will say when I was married previously, we had a good system going where it was like, he paid the mortgage and I kind of paid everything else and so it was more balanced, I feel. And so there was never, at least on my end, I never felt like we were not equal in that way. But now I think that especially where I live, it's hard because nobody, male or female, aside from like I'm talking about like creators and things like that, like nobody's on my playing field. So it's really difficult for me and I never want my partner, especially like Isaac, for example, he's in the room, right? I never want Isaac or someone to feel less than because I am the breadwinner and I don't want him to have resentment towards me. I don't want to have resentment towards him. So I don't know if there will ever be a balance that will come close to like a 50/50 situation in terms of what we bring to the table, not necessarily exactly 50% of our incomes. Something that really stuck with me that I still think about even two years after our conversation was our conversation about like cosmetic procedures and surgeries and like the work you've had done. And I just found that conversation to be so refreshing with you because, I mean, it's no secret that that is often taboo in today's culture. And you're just so great at speaking on it because also I feel like you're just so candid with both sides because you did recognize you're like, yeah, I got this because I was insecure about this one thing and I wanted to change it about myself. And we were talking before we started filming. We were like, hey, you know what? Since we've last shot it, I've gotten my teeth done. Matt got his hair done. - Hair is much lower than it used to be. It's right here, new hairline. - I wouldn't even have known. Like you're, I wouldn't have, if you didn't tell me, I would not have known that they look great. Everything looks great. I also had several for several procedures. I don't know what I said last time if I said I was done. - I think you were in Phoenix for some sort of procedure, right? Or do you get to go to an appointment? - You know what it was? It was a consultation. - Oh, okay. - Did you go through with it? - I am not in Phoenix, but yes. I ended up getting a breast reduction. So I went from a 44, 46 triple D down to a B cup. And then I also did. - Did insurance cover that? - No. I mean, I guess they could have, but I didn't end up opting for it because it's like, yeah, are they heavy, sure, but like, but it's just one of those things or else. Like, I'll just do it. At the same time as my breast reduction, I did a scar revision. So in 2016, I had a tummy tuck. And then I had in 2023, I had a C-section. So I had them move my tummy tuck scar down to combine it with my C-section scar. And so that I did all of that at the same time. - That's right, 'cause the tummy tuck came before the C-section. - Yes, yep, exactly right. So I had them move it down. So now my scar, it's just one scar instead of two. - Which one hurt more of the C-section or the tummy tuck? - Neither. I didn't, I lost all feeling. So I never felt it. So when my C-section scar reopened after I had my C-section, I never felt it bust open. I felt the blood on my legs because I didn't have any feeling. - Wait, was that graphic? - No, but I just can't quite fathom that. Having had a C-section, I'm like, - Like, they told me not to do stuff. And I went into dishes. And when I was at the dishes, I thought it was hot water running down my legs from doing the dishes. But I looked down and it was my C-section scar had opened up. - Do you still not have feeling now? - No, I still don't, from my belly button down, I don't have feeling from cosmetic surgery. - Is that bother you? - From the cosmetic surgery. - I don't care. - I don't feel it. - I don't want to, whatever happens happens. It's none of my business. - Oh, and I feel like that would freak me out. - Yeah. - And then I got my double chin cut off last year, in August. - Oh wow. - Yeah, I did like a whole, I don't know the exact name as I want to say. It's like a neck lift, half facelift. I don't know the exact terms. You could go ask Dr. Tina Ho, she's great. I do have my double chin cut off. So when you guys can compare the snatch. - Snatched, snatched, snatched. - Wow. - Of all those procedures, which one hurt the most? - My chin. Because I wasn't a candidate for liposuction, because it was like genuinely saggy skin. And that's just genetic thing that my family has. And so this was, I mean, my face was like, it was, it was bad. - So it swelled up after the surgery, and then it went back down. - It was so bad. - Oh, good news. - It was horrendous, and then I had lip paralysis for three months or four months. - Okay, see, that must have been really bad, 'cause I feel like last time you said that liposuction, you felt like you were dying. - Yeah. No, the face was worse. I think 50/50, but like leaning more towards my face was worse, because also I'm in front of cameras all the time. - And I feel like you're one tough cookie. Like I feel like-- - Yeah, I feel like I can thug it out, but not my face. I was suicidal, like it was bad. - How did you eat? - Oh, I was, I was gonna eat. - You were there for real? (laughing) - Oh yeah, there's my-- - Are you? Oh my gosh. - I'll send it to you guys. You guys can put it on the screen if you want for the video. - It was bad. - Was it still, was it worth it? - Oh yeah. Oh yeah. (laughing) - Yeah. - Like, I don't know. Like I still look in the mirror, and I'm like, I have a jaw now, so. - Oh, I'm better happy with it. - And you can't, oh, yeah, that one was bad. - Oh, it was a little, slightly graphic. - Oh, from this far, I'll be okay. - Whoa, my gosh. - That looks painful. - That was really, really gross. - Put that one on the screen. - Yeah, I'll send them to you guys. - Trigger warning. - Trigger warning. - You mentioned doing the dishes and bleeding after the C section. Okay, like as the breadwinner, how, like, which-- - How is this connected? - Yeah, which, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I'm trying to work, I couldn't work. - I'm trying to make a bridge here, and it's not really working, but I'm gonna try, okay? I guess my question is about like the household duties of like, you know, laundry, dishes, cooking food. You hired all out. - Pretty much. - So you have someone that like comes to your house, you have like a private chef that cooks for the kids? - No, I have a house manager, but she's like family, and she does my laundry and she cooks sometimes, so she doesn't cook all the time. We cook sometimes, but everything else she manages is all of it. That's and she makes good food and she makes amazing food. Yeah, and she teaches my kids Spanish She's amazing and she's just she's like a mom, but I she's too young to be my mom. Yeah, she's only in her 40s So she's too young to be my mom, but I would call her mom if I could and her husband is my I call I literally call him dad Like her husband. Yeah, there is a little bit of a age gap there So I call her husband my dad like literally if you ever hear my dad's dead my real dad and so oh he died since I talked to you guys last I'm so sorry. Oh, I didn't know him remember. We talked about this. Wait, did we talk about this? I don't know if we did I just that's fine. So anyway So my dad who's not my dad is he's married to her and When I let go of my previous nanny I was like I want to help the people close to me and she wasn't working at the time She had just moved to from Puerto Rico to this to the mainland and so I was like would she want to do this? Yeah, that brings up the topic of hiring like close friends and family never don't do it anymore Never again except for your boyfriend except for my boyfriend But to be fair, he's a videographer. He's a photographer. It like makes sense. It's been taking videos that I'm like I'm excited to see the video that he's working on. He does a good job Like never would never do it again right here. No, I think I would know yeah, I mean I have had really a great luck with my dad and his wife But other than that, I would say no don't do it. Thank you to Haya for sponsoring this portion of today's episode Something that we've been thinking about is how our kids are at the first generation growing up on ultra-process foods What are those long-term effects? We don't know so we're trying to fill the gaps in you know Nutrition with vitamins and that's why we're huge fans of Haya And that's actually why Haya exists to give parents a real solution in a market flooded with kids vitamins that prioritize Candy-like appeal over actual nutrition working alongside pediatricians and nutrition scientists Haya created a powerful chewable multivitamin that packs a blend of 12 organic fruits and vegetables plus 15 essential vitamins and minerals into every chewable If bedtime battles and restless nights are struggling your house, a calming nightly chewable design just for kids might be exactly what they need Especially when the new school year is just around the corner. Haya's new kids bedtime essentials is a total game changer It's not a sleep aid. It's a non-habit forming chewable with L-theanine B6, GABA, and chamomile flower extract Plus magnesium and calcium that helps kids relax before bed and wake up rejuvenated and refreshed No synthetic hormones like melatonin, no sugar, just calm support to help them recharge for everything they've got going on We just genuinely love their brand and use it and trust it on our kids Yeah, the kids play with the sickers. They put the highest stickers on our freaking car. They're beautiful. You can now find Haya in person at Target 2 stores nationwide Or order directly from their website with a special deal we've worked out just for you Receive 50% off your first order on any of their products To claim the deal you must go to hayahealth.com/unplanned This deal is not available on their regular website So go to hayahealth.com/unplanned and get your kids the full body support they deserve Thank you to ZockDock for sponsoring today's episode I love not having to drive to the doctor to have an appointment especially when it comes to getting refills on my ADHD medication And that's why I'm a huge fan of ZockDock You can score same day appointments I've done that multiple times like the time that I got a concussion and needed to get seen And so I was able to have a little appointment there with ZockDock If you happen to have ZockDock they have more than 150,000 providers with 200 plus specialties across all 50 states Appointments happen fast usually within 24 to 72 hours And like I said you can do a same day appointment sometimes too which is really convenient It's really cool because you can search and find in network doctors which is amazing I feel like that's something that is really hard even if you do have insurance nowadays It's really hard to find providers that take your insurance and they make that Super user friendly for you you can also find local doctors not just online appointments like Matt prefers But it's really great that ZockDock can connect you with local providers as well Across a range of specialties I'm talking anything from eye care to dermatology Mental health to dental health they have it all Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated Find and book the right doctor with ZockDock Head to ZockDock.com/unplanned to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list That's zo-c-d-o-c.com/unplanned How was that losing your dad at such a young age? Um, well I didn't know him I got a lot of closure before he died I saw him two weeks before he died that was only the second time I had ever met him So yeah, so the first time I met him was on national television And then I didn't see him for I guess 16 years my aunt called me and she was like um, you know It's not looking good. You should see him. So I flew down with my sister and we saw him And I got a lot of answers like I got so many answers that I didn't Get when I was 16 and when I was filming the show because I don't think I was mature enough to ask the questions that I should have Yeah, and so a lot of people were like why would you wait until his death bed But it was like when was another opportunity? I hadn't talked to him since I met him the first time So I got a lot of answers and I I'm at peace and I hope he I hope he really like was at peace when he died Um, I kind of feel like He was able to Kind of go peacefully because he got to see my sister and me after you know my sister's 30 so and he hadn't seen her in 25 years either. So it was I think just peace for all of us What was the question that you asked him that you didn't know to ask when you were 16? Um, why he gave up why he didn't try for us and I think I might have asked it when he when I was 16, but I don't think it because the cameras were there and it was just less private It was more like impassing and it was like well, you know, I knew you'd come find me, right? But when we went down and I saw him before he passed away He gave me the full story full details full disclosure With everything um About why he gave up everything that he did before he quote-unquote gave up and it just gave me completely new perspective on Just dads in general not even just dad's in the 90s and why they would give up but just dads in general To help humanize him. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I would get I my dad my it's weird to call my dad because he didn't raise me but He it humanized him a lot and I could sort of understand kind of Why he was the way he was um and why things kind of were Um like why why why why we why we were estranged did you go to the funeral? I tried but that was during the um I had a flight book to go to the funeral and then it was that during the TSA or something where all these flights were getting canceled and people were getting stuck where they were And I was gonna go down for the funeral and make literally like it was like a 24 hour trip situation And I was so scared that I would be stuck there and not be able to get back to my babies So I ended up not being able to go my sister went um She lives in Texas though, so it was a little bit different And so I didn't get to go but I would have loved to um I did try So that's really cool that It's not great how it happened, you know with not having him present your entire life But that you could reach some type of closure and get some answers is For sure and I feel like for a long time after I met him the first time I was really bitter and I kind of went through that On and off throughout the years between the first time in the second time um and then By the second time I felt so much peace it was it was and I hope for him too like I really do What are you doing as a mom now to seven kids? I want my kids to have good relationships with their dads even if I don't And so I and they know that like I would never Intentionally keep my kids from their dads no matter how much I don't like them at the time or you know things like that So I think just reminding them that We're all human the parents we're all doing this for the first time So whether they're dad and I get along or not It is important for you to have a relationship with them And so I can't dictate how that's going to look But give them a chance make sure that you know you hear them out too Because it's not just what I say goes right like you have another parent And so I just I do try to facilitate them to maintain a relationship with their with their dads On the topic of kids you said that you Wish I'm not going to quote you correctly But you wish on anyone you love that they could have twins What's so special about I mean I get it I'm like I would love to have twins. I think that sounds so fun But what about that bond or what is it it is the Obviously my single tins are great. I love them all but there is something so special about twins And they're bond and like watching them together I've never experience obviously never experienced anything like it until I had twins And so it's it's so fascinating I don't even know on any other word but it's A different kind of bond I think than the rest of their siblings And I don't want to exclude the rest of their siblings So if you ever watch this I'm really sorry that's not what I meant I just mean like it's they were in the womb together So what type of twins are they? They're a fraternal twins and my girl is so verse is the boy he's baby A And then valley is the wait did I say that right? So versus the boy he's baby A valley is the girl she's baby B And they're fraternal They're born four minutes apart and I don't know there's just something about their closeness and their bond that is a little bit different than the rest of the kids And I I know twins is crazy because because you're like, you have to do two of everything, but if, listen, if you weren't already pregnant, I would wish twins on you. And in the future, if you have more, I hope you have twins. - Wish so wish it. - Yeah, okay. Well, the funny thing is, I was with my hair stylist, like, I don't know if I told you this last time, she's a twin and she wanted twins. And so we were, I was in the hair chair, and I'm like, trying to manifest twins for her. I'm like, oh yes, 'cause she was trying. I was like, I hope you have twins. Like, you're gonna have twins. She loves being a twin. And then the next time I went for a hair appointment, I was pregnant with twins. So it went a little too hard. - It spread. - The wrong one. I love them though, I love them. - The wrong one. - The wrong one. It was supposed to be for her, not for me. Yeah, sorry. - Now I'm so blessed, I hope your hair dresser has twins one day too. - No, she's one and done, she said. - Okay. - Yeah, it's fine. - It's fine. - How is this summer going? I mean, you're going to 23 different cities. You're doing shows all over the country. I think you're even going to London, which is really cool. - Yeah, my kids are playing soccer in London. So I was like, since we're already going to be over there, I might as well do a tour date. I cry a lot. I do cry a lot, because I'm tired. - I don't know how you do it. - I don't have a choice. Like I think about every day, how am I going to maintain what I have built for seven kids? Because as you guys know in this industry, like it's ever changing, ever evolving. People, creators disappear and the new creators pop up and people get canceled. And how long can I hold on to this to be able to support seven kids with the life that we've built so far? Like, I stress about it all the time. Hopefully, if you see me on the street, just know it was pure desperation. - She's the haunted way ever. - I will do whatever it takes. - Honestly, if it's not too much, is it okay if we ask, is it a couple of questions? I'm also just genuinely very interested in you, because like your life has probably changed more in the past year than it has maybe ever. I don't know. I mean, you went from I'm guessing not like having kids to then being around seven kids. So that's a big change. - Yeah, so I do have a daughter. - You have a daughter. - I do have one. That's a completely different scenario. Prior to Cal and I, you know, dating, like, I just, I worked and fished. Like, I just, that was it. So, Kelly and I, we are dating and my life has went from just fishing all the time and just relaxing to, hey, kids got school, sports, we're on tour, a whole bunch of other stuff. You know, like, our days, if, I were to show you our calendar. - I wouldn't send everybody in to show them. - My phone is, oh, it's on the pocket. - I mean, it sounds like you're in a different city every day right now. - Yeah, so this is just our calendar for the month and things get added, things get added daily and so you really have to click on it kind of like every two hours. - And I'm noticing right here, it says have all kids and it has like a big line where you have kids. - Yep, so now we game plan, you know. - When we have the kids and what we, when we don't have the kids, so every other week for the summer is like, I know what I can plan for the weeks that I have the kids in the weeks I don't. So that's how it, like. - And you have kids with you right now? - No. - Oh, you don't, okay. - So I scheduled the tour so that all the tour travel is when I'm, when the kids are with their dads 'cause we do 50, 50 summers. - Got it. - So the tour was able to be scheduled. Live Nation really helped me out with that because my first tour, it didn't work out that way. I like sent them dates, I didn't have my kids and then they still sent me on tour when I had them. So this time, Live Nation really worked with me and they scheduled just the days I didn't have my kids. - For people that buy tickets to the tour, what can they expect? - I don't think your audience is buying tickets to my tour, Abby. - Really? - That's a little unhinged. - Wow. Oh well, I ate a worm the other day. - You ate a worm? - Yeah, I don't think that it's-- - Tell them what you did to me. - Shocked them with a dog collar. I don't necessarily think it's your audience's vibe, okay? - Really, I need to sign up for it. I would just volunteer. - Is this tour a bit more on the PG-13? - No, absolutely not, it's rated R. - Oh, rated R. - This tour is rated R. No children, no under 18. Like this is not your audience, you know what I mean? - Okay. - Gosh, now I wanna know what's happening. - I guess we need to get tickets to your tour and come check it out. - I don't know that you'll invite me back out. So let's just keep the relationship where it is, you know? - No, it's a good time, it's a good time. - It's like that. - Isaac, how are you dealing with being in the public eye now? 'Cause I'm guessing you weren't before. - I wasn't, I didn't really care for social media like that. - Fishing doesn't have a lot of lies, not a lot of eyes and fishing. - Yeah, now that I'm kind of in the public eye, I mean I still just lay low, do my part. I don't post any like crazy social media things. I post things that I would regularly like if Kellen and I weren't together. And 99.9% of it, it's just fishing. - He does a really good job not responding to anything. - Yeah. - Like even if it's a headline about him, he will not respond. He doesn't comment, I mean maybe troll back in his own comments, but he's not. - Yeah, I've just always learned like sometimes no response is the best response. - Yeah. - You know, so I just let go of the bigger person. - Earlier we were talking with Kale about like the conversation of her being the breadwinner. I'm curious from your perspective what that's like, being in a relationship like that. - I don't really look at it as like the breadwinner, right? I just kind of look at it as like, you know, she does her part and I do my part. So like, you know, she owns her own network, her podcasting network, she has three podcasts going. And here I am, if I'm behind the scenes, taking pictures, videos, editing, you know, whatever the case may be, being sure, you know, part of the house is, you know, being ran, you know, just I do my part in certain ways to where I don't look at it and say, "Hey, well, she's the breadwinner." I just look at it like we're a team. You handle this aspect, I handle this aspect, and at the end of the day we come together and, you know, the house is running. - Yeah. - I've been in my fair share of relationships, you know, before, not many, but like my relationships were long. I look at it like, I don't want to date, you know? Like I'm past that dating stage of life. Like I want to build and I want to create and I want to, you know, wake up to the same person every day, go to sleep to the same person every day. I don't want a revolving door. - Yeah. - Right? And it took me a lot of, you know, maturing, you know, for myself, like, what the, the frontal lobe? I think my frontal lobe really started to develop when I was in my late 20s. So by the time, you know, I got myself together and it was like, "Hey, like, I just want one solid "individual in my life." You know, sun up, sun down. And I told her actually when her and I initially, you know, got together, it was, I want to learn and I want to see every phase of your moon. - I'm sure he did, he sure did, very quickly. - And still do. What do you guys? - What does that mean? - It means I have 12 personalities, and he's learning all about them every day. - Yeah, like, you know, - But when I don't have my pros, I can my out-of-all. - Yeah, it's just more or less like, you can portray being happy, go lucky every day, right? But you're gonna get tired because eventually, when you're stressed, you're stressed, when you're mad, you're mad. I want to see every phase and every side of you. I know life isn't smiles and butterflies every day, but I want to know you when you're at your lowest, and I want to know you when you're at your highest. So that's what I mean when it's, I want to learn every phase of your moon. - Okay, what does marriage mean to you? - A family and a unit and a team, and everything I didn't have growing up. And I want, and he knows that. He recognized that very early on that I just want to be loved. I just want to have a family. And so I think that marriage would solidify that, not that we're not already a family, but I think I was too young the first time I got married, and no disrespect to you, but had I known more or waited a little bit longer, that marriage might have worked out, but we were so young. And so I think that now that both of us have, - You were 20 years old and married. - Yeah, well, I don't know how old were you guys when you were a kid. - So you got married at 20 and 21. - See? - Okay. But for me, I couldn't be married at 20 years old. - Yeah, I tried it, it didn't work. - Like just the people I hung out with, my mindset at the time, like I wasn't ready for that commitment at 20 years old. - I wasn't either. - I didn't even know if I was gonna stay in college, drop out, join the military. I didn't know what I was gonna do. - So trying to commit to somebody, or something at 20 years old that was extremely challenging. - But you guys also had good childhoods, right? We talked about that last time. - We did. - So I think that we had very similar upbringing. So I think that we also have always operated on a completely different-- - So many things changed. It's not like we're just like mega mature. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You got, listen, when you guys, I'm sure have disagreements or something, so it's okay, well you're upset, you're upset. We'll come together at some point. We'll just talk about it. And for me, if I'm 20 years old, it's-- - We weren't able to do that. - No, the hell with your opinion, I'm right. Or even though I'm wrong, I'm still right. - Like I, he went to high school with my oldest son's dad, and we always say that if we tried to be together before we got together, we wouldn't have lasted. We wouldn't have been interesting because I told you guys earlier I had cheated in the past. He's also cheated and like we would have just cheated on each other It would not have been what it is today. Thank you to honey love for sponsoring this portion of today's episode ladies Why is it so hard to find comfortable bras and shape where what I know? I've been struggling with that - be quiet only you knew how it feels to have a wire just sticking you in the armpit You got stuff up the crack It stuff is squeezing. 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It's hard to recognize your body and Shapewear is a really cool way to just give yourself just a little bit of a confidence boost to get out the door and start doing things that make you feel like you again And I will definitely be leaning on honey love during my post-partum stage for their shapewear and always always for their bras as well So treat yourself to the most advanced bras and shapewear on the market use our exclusive link to save 20% off honey love at honey love Dotcom slash unplanned that's honey love dot com slash unplanned after you check out They'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that unplanned sent you Experience the new standard in comfort and support with honey love. I want to ask this question in the most respectful way Because it's just It's like it's a it's a touchy one. I guess I guess I'm scared I always do this. I always like set it up to be like a such a big thing and I'm like, oh my gosh It's not even that crazy question But I feel like a lot of guys, you know, especially with kale coming out of a fresh breakup. Yeah, having seven kids A lot of men would probably like, you know, kale. Kale's amazing might be like, oh, I like this person But then they find out about everything going on and they would probably most guys would probably run away They probably would go, oh, I don't know if I want to raise seven kids I don't want to I don't know if I want to deal with the baggage or someone overcoming a breakup. Yeah, what was it for the four baby dads or that or the Yeah, you can just call it for what it is my it's not offended. So I guess that's what I'm asking is like What was it about kale that made you go? Oh, no, I don't I don't care about all that. I'm gonna I want to I want to be with her despite all of those things. Oh, I fell in love in 24 hours and you did 24 hours You didn't care about the kids and the baby daddies. I didn't give a damn her and I you know, I didn't know Like off off the bat that she was fresh off a breakup But it came out at some point and we were just supposed to just meet up and just you know, go grab lunch or something like that And let's say we had the conversation last Tuesday and she's like, hey, I'm free next Saturday. I don't have my kids We can go grab lunch. Cool. The next week comes here comes Thursday Hey, I'm sorry, but the only way we can hang out is if we go to Texas. I had to work I forgot that I have to be in Texas I had to work so I'm like, yeah, you know, I didn't I didn't I don't work weekends. I work Monday through Friday so I get off work Friday She's in a hotel in Philadelphia Hang out border plane go to Texas and as soon as and this is crazy your first date you're flying to Texas. Yeah I hadn't seen him in four or five years. Yeah, it was long. It was just the vibe It was it was the vibe. It was the personality. It was the the witness the Just Being unhinged just really I'm serious. So I knew That that I loved her and it was crazy because I've never felt this way So we get back from Texas after hanging out for 24 hours Give her a hug probably low kiss Probably probably and I start crying and he leaves and I start crying because I'm like I'm never gonna see him again We had all this great time. I fell in love with this. I didn't tell him that it was awesome and then um So I'm like he's gonna he's gonna be a douchebag. So she's crying in her denali driving back to Delaware I lived in the Poconos in Pennsylvania. So I cry on the way home to the Poconos Babe, you don't have to say that my bad. Um, I'm on the phone with my brother He's like, hey man. How was Texas? He he asked about you not being scared of the kids. Yeah, I'm getting there So so sorry. No, no, no, so I'm on the phone with my brother and I'm just explaining everything and I'm explaining how the vibe went and all of that so I come down to Delaware at some point, right first day I There were seven kids at the house I say hello to her and I'm outside playing basketball or football I didn't see him for like two, three hours. He's just with the kids just out there. Okay, uh You're on my team. You're on my team. You used to work on that side. Let's go. I'm all time quarterback And I didn't tell the kids who he was or anything because I mean, so It was just it felt so natural on top of it. I coached football at one point and then also I'm the youngest of six So the kids didn't bother you. So the kids didn't bother me. What about the kids dads? No because The past is the past to be fair, right? So You can't always live in a past you live and learn and you Continue and if there are people who still live in the past and they talk about whatever can be you're just reminiscing on all things This is nothing that is current So for me it was like it is what it is. I don't have the best past She doesn't have the best past. My past is the past. Hers is the hers. Let's build. Let's go We start from here. We work on our foundation. We work out the nooks and crannies And we take off I like that. That's good. That was nice. That was a good story See, we're not that the first date was to Texas where you'd gone on one date and then from that one date We never made it to lunch. We went we had because we were gonna go to lunch on Saturday But I was like, oh actually have to be to work in Texas on Saturday So the only way we can go to lunch is in Texas. Okay So we had to go to Texas for our first date wow and We might have been run. I think we flew out at like three in the morning. I had just got them working 12 hours so I got off of work probably I'll say midnight go home shower and then drive right down the Philly. I don't sleep. We're on the plane from Philly down to Dallas, Texas and we're up And we made it We survived. Wow. So it's been great. It's been fun If you guys, I'm guessing we brought up the marriage conversation. Uh-huh. If marriage is happening What what are your thoughts on a prenup? Is that something that would happen? I think so. I think so my I've never thought about it. My last attorney Have had told me that if you have anything that is valued at more $10,000 or more you should get a prenup. So even if it's assets The mistake that I made in my last in my divorce was Not having a prenup and then we owned two houses at that time And so he was trying to take the one that I was living in Um, and so it was one of those things where like if we had a prenup that wouldn't have been a situation It ended up all working out the judge was like or was it the judge? The one of the attorneys was like you're gonna Get this house. You're gonna get this house. That's it Um, and I think just to avoid that like he does have his own stuff And so I wouldn't ever want him to feel like I was gonna take that from him. Yeah I think we should we would probably have a maybe we haven't really talked about it. I'm never Thought about it. It's never crossed my mind because for me it's like You get married for a reason So I understand divorces do happen, but that's not In my Vision or even in my you know my mind. It's you know this till death do us part Yeah, actually okay. No before we wrap we have to play a game with you guys. Okay. I'm scared But yeah, can I have a couple curious questions. They're just not related. I don't really know how to tie in but I just want to We're also not pressed for time. I know that you're not only an author. You're also an avid reader. Yeah And I just wanted to just have a minute for yeah, we yeah, we should um, but no, what are you reading right now? Okay, no, I was gonna ask you that question. I'm reading kite runner kite runner Is an incredibly sad story about Afghanistan from like the 1960s all the way to I don't know present time basically Um, and then I'm also listening to mad mabel on audio I've never heard of that one. Thank you to everybody that submitted questions on the unplanned podcast instagram Uh, our first question is Do you stay in touch with any of the other teen moms? Um, I talked to Kate and tie a lot. They signed to my network um, and they have a podcast I talked to them. They just did guessing on my tour and Sometimes Chelsea and sometimes Macy. Oh, and then Ashley. I'll see Ashley on this week. Nice. Yeah. Okay, so you do Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's been a long time. I haven't seen Ashley since I think 2018. So it's been a long time But like we'll I'll congratulate when she graduated from college and things like that. So like on social media. - Next question is, who is your favorite ex, Lafay face? - My favorite ex. - Is what? - Probably you like that. - Kayla's one of the only people you can ask that question. I just want to acknowledge. - Honestly, probably Elijah, he doesn't bother me. He doesn't bother us and he's chill. And he'd never been to court, so I'd say him. - Nice. Hey, not going to court is a perk. - It's a win. - That's a win. - Okay, next is, how was it having a girl after having so many boys? - Okay, to be fully honest about this, it wasn't much different at first. And I was surprised by that. I thought it was gonna be different right off the bat. It was not because when they're infants, she was wearing a brother's hand-me-downs, right? Like it was not, but now getting to do her hair and she's so sassy. I nobody prepared me for that part of it. She's very sassy and she loves pink, everything pink. She is a little scrappy with the boys. She also loves pink and I absolutely love that for her. - Aw. - Yeah. - Do you want to tell them how she says the word strawberry? - Straw babies. Can I please have some straw babies? - It's gonna kill you when she starts actually saying strawberry because I think about this. I know I hate it. I don't like, I don't wanna correct them 'cause I want them to say the wrong thing forever. - I know. - So cute. - Kaylee says, how often do you get to have all your children all at once? - Every other week. Every other week. So during the school year, I have 90-10 custody. So during the school year, they're always with each other pretty much and then they go to their dads on the same weekends and then in the summertime, I have all the kids on the same week and then they go to their dads on the same week. So when I have them, I have them all together. Yeah, I did that on purpose so that they would be together. - It's all coordinated. - Yeah. - Sierra says, would you ever allow your child to go on teen mom if the rules were reversed? - No, my kid, no kid of mine would go on TV as a pregnant teenager. I wholeheartedly think that nobody was looking out for us. It worked out, but I don't think anyone was looking out for it. I didn't even have an attorney look at my contract. So I didn't say that. - I think about it so often because I think there's still our series on like reality TV series of teen moms. - Unexpected on TLC. - As I was gonna say on TLC, what are your thoughts on that? - Oh, I went, oh, I went into a tangent about that. I don't love it. I don't think it's great. And I also think that one of the main character, like main character, that's not good. One of the main people on that show, I think the mom encouraged it. And I think that it's almost like undoing the work that teen mom in the beginning was trying to do was to show people that this is really hard. And you know, one of us is crying. One of us can't pay for something. One of us, you know, our boyfriends breaking up with us. One of us doesn't have parents, right? Like in the beginning years of teen mom where it was doing the work, I think the unexpected series is kind of undoing that. - I've seen a lot of clips for it. And it was surprising to me that this was current. Like, yeah, interesting. You'd be a good person to consult about that. - Well, if they ever have any reunions in the future, replace Dr. Drew with me. You're hired as far as I'm concerned. - I feel like people would watch for sure. - Sign me up. - Brittany says tips for getting through the newborn trenches. You've done it six times. - Yeah, more stubble. - I will say the first year for every single one of them was the hardest for me. I don't know if you felt that way. - Oh really? - With the sleepless nights was so hard or the before I learned about baby carriers and like the Ergo. - We love baby carriers. - Oh my gosh. Well, I didn't know in the beginning. And so when you're either having to hold them all the time or you just lay them down and they do nothing, but you have to be careful. You can't put them on a couch. You can't put them on a bed, but you don't want to put them on the floor, especially if you have pets. That was really hard for me. So, sleep when, let the dishes pile up. Let the dishes pile up. Order takeout and sleep with that baby when that baby sleeps. Sounds good, but I know it won't happen. - Our whole, our babies, both of them, the whole first like four months, they were just like strapped to mat during the day. Like, or either one of us. They just needed to be worn. - Yeah, they wouldn't sleep unless we were wearing them. - That was riding Mat Matthew's horse. Sorry to open old wounds. I-L-Y. I don't know the context. - What is the context? - It's not sexual. Okay. - It's not. - My chip, no, where did I thought? - What is that question? - Where was this going? Help. - Oh wow. - This interview just keeps surprising you. - I know what this is. - Yeah, he was there. - I help record it. - I'm gonna show you. - You'll understand. - Who's Mat Matthew? - He's a comedian and he's not, I mean, if you're looking to tap into somebody else's audience, definitely have him on. But I'm gonna show you what it is. - That is. - You're not ready. - He is a funny guy. - I basically almost died. Mat, make him stop. Make him stop. - Oh. - Whoa. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - Whoa. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Where's that? - It felt insane on that horse. Like, I just knew I was gonna die. - That was dangerous. - Oh, that is really dangerous. - Did the horse buck you off? - Almost. But the gates were closed. - No, hold me. - No. Well, and my luggage was all lost at the airport, so I had flown to Alabama. I didn't, I just did that in the airport clothes. I didn't even get to shower or anything. - We had just gotten there two hours before. - And so the gates closed to his property, and if they weren't closed, that horse, that's why the horse came to the stop. But it did and I came forward. But if it didn't, I wanna be, I would be a dead woman, for sure. But then I started to slide off and was able, but I mean, you know, memories. - Do you have any injuries from that? - I could not walk right for about three weeks. Like my inner thighs were in so much pain, and I was just like, it was, it was bad. I was walking like this on me. - You stayed so calm. Well, if I freaked out, what would have happened? - Is it, well, that's what he taught me to do, and then it didn't listen to me. - Yeah, he goes, "Kale." - But this, this was also the thing. Is that she was giving, she was giving the horse two different sides. - My legs were not tight enough, so they're slapping against his side, telling him to go off, and then I'm pulling back, saying, whoa, so it was my fault. - She's like, whoa, whoa, I don't know about that. Wow, that was great. You're such a good sport. - You are a good sport. - Brittany says, "Baby names you loved, but never used." - Oh, I'm so sad. I'll read them. - You have a list? - Yeah. - And I keep adding to it. - And you keep adding to it. - Wait, why would you keep adding to it if you're not going to have any more? - Because, I mean, maybe my grandkids. - Hey, that's an idea. - Okay, number one girl name in the whole world, maybe. - Cute. - Sayla, cute. - Sway, Miller for a girl, call her Millie for short, or Mills for a boy. Easton, who's from Easton, indigo, caller Indie, Meyer, Major, Ocean, Teo, Monty, Road, Seal, Shadow, but caller Shady, Sunday, but caller Sunny, and Waitie. - She came prepared. - You came prepared. - Yeah, I don't know, I'll never get to use them, but I'll go quickly. - She's not giggling. - She pulled up that list. - This, I know she's done. - That's like a, that's like a, that's a pin - Yeah, that's your request. - This is how you know she's done. - It was sad, but it's a period of time, you know? - Last user submit a question, or user audience question. Emilia says, Emilia, yeah, I think it's Emilia. What is the most rewarding thing about being a mom of seven? - I just love watching the siblings. I didn't grow up with my siblings. I met my sister when I was 19. So seeing my kids interact with each other is always, I mean, they never cease to amaze me. They're either fighting in some way or just being really sweet to each other. And I love that. I think it's really cool to watch. - That is my favorite too. - Yeah. - When you're just having two. - Yeah, no, I think even having two, you see it. And I like little bond is like so sweet. - Yeah. - Okay, next, we have a greedy disagree. So I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say a prompt, and then you can either agree or disagree with it. And you guys can both play. - Okay. - Cool. - All right. - Okay. - First up is money can by happiness. Agree or disagree? - Disagree. - Agree. - Why do you agree? - Because money can buy your time back. And so like if you have money to hire help for certain things, then you get your time back to go do stuff with your loved ones. - Why do you disagree? - Just because if you're looking at, for sort of monetary, monetary things, like you can't take any of it with you. So happiness, like to me it starts at the core. So that's why. - I think we're both right. - I like it. - I like it. - I like it. - I like it. - You guys had compelling arguments? - Yeah, different takes there. - Yeah. - Okay, next one we have is not everyone deserves a second chance. Three, two, one. - Agree. - Agree. - Agree. - Now I'm thinking of like worst case scenario, the worst criminals we've ever known. Right, like the ones on death row, if they're definitely guilty. I'm thinking some of them probably do not deserve a second chance. - Next one is the agree to disagree. The pain of cosmetic surgery is worth it. Three, two, one. - Agree. - I'm just going to be neutral because I've never had cosmetic surgery. But I'm going to disagree. - In the next day I'm going to disagree. I'm not going to be neutral because it looks like it hurts. - In the moment, in the moment of healing, you'll never do it again. And then again, going back to like the newborn when all the hard parts wear off, then you're like, oh, I could do this again. So I'm saying agree. 'Cause I've gone back and forth 100 times over the years. - Hair transplant hurts so bad afterward, but hey, now I have hair. I used to not have hair. Okay, agree to disagree, couples should not share a bank account, three, two, one. Disagree. Louise. Yeah, I could disagree. Yeah. There's nuance. There's nuance because I would say have joint and separate. Like, if you're like, we have separate accounts too, but we also have a joint. Got it. Yeah. I can piggyback off that. Yeah. Yeah. But it also depends on how, like, if you have a joint account, how much that other person might spend because that might not be something that you're happy with. So it's like, why do we have 30 Amazon boxes? Agreed. No, you're business. No, you're business. No, you're business. Agreed to disagree. The internet judges women more harshly than men. Agree. Three, two, one. Agree. Babe, you're supposed to spend this huge time. Okay, all right. Say it again. Say it again. Three, two, one. Agreed. Agree-ish. See what? It's agree-ish. What would you say about that? What should say? Like, it's playing your side. The bar is on the floor for men. And for women somehow, we're never good enough. They keep moving the goalpost for women. Like, you're a homemaker, and you're not, you should be out getting a job. And we didn't fight for women's rights for you to be at home. And then you get a job, and then you have to keep up with the house. And then if you hire help, then you're not as good of a mom. And if you have a nanny, you're not as good as a mom. And if you have four baby dads, you're not as good as a mom. And men can do it. Men can do everything. I like it. I plead the fifth on that. I plead the fifth. Breed is agreed. You can be friends with your ex. Disagree. What? Disagree. Disagree. Be friendly. Friendly. I have kids with mine. Yeah. With almost out of six X's, I have kids with four of them. Uh, you can be cordial. I don't even like to term friendly. You can be cordial. You can be cordial. Yeah. Like, uh, hello. Here you go. Gotta go. Okay. But fair. Like, if it's in passing, my hello. Would you say hi to your ex in front of me? I wouldn't say hi at all. Oh, okay. Whether I'm. Then that's all that matters. With you by myself. No, I just keep a push. Go about my business. Does it change when it is, um, a baby daddy? Yes. I do think it's important. It went where possible. You should be nice to your kid's other parent. Okay. So if it's an X like that, I do think you should be respectful. Are you careful with how you talk about your X's in front of your kids? Yeah, I try really hard not to. I mean, I'm not saying that they never hear anything, but I really try not to. To not, like, say negative things about. Yeah. Okay. Like, if I'm going to say something negative, I can say to him, my kids don't have to hear it. Yeah. And vice versa. So, like, when my ex has been called me earlier today, it was. Can we schedule this call when Lincoln's not around, you know what I mean? Ah, I do. So just. She does a good job just keeping her true feelings and emotions away from the kids. So if she has anything to say, more or less, it comes towards her. But also, like, I'll say hi to them in front of my kids, right? Like, if I'm at an event, we went to my son's moving up ceremony and I waved to his dad's family just to say hi, you know. Guys, that's sweet. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you guys, I feel like we've put you through the ringer today. We've talked about so much. Thank you for being open and honest. So open. Yeah. I feel like there's no question that I couldn't run by where you'd be like, I'm so offended. Like, you are just. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having us. I'm a little special guest. Thank you guys. I don't appreciate it. You know, I love that you're just like, I'm long for this ride. Yeah. I mean, it's like I was on her podcast prior and for me, like now I feel I'm comfortable. So it doesn't matter if it's just her and I or. Yeah. You know. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys. Thank you guys. Check out Kale Lowry on Instagram. Check out Barely Famous Podcasts, Wherever You Get Your Podcasts, any other shout outs that we should mention? That's two or a days. You're joined Book Club if you're not in Abbey's and, you know, don't want to take any of your book club members. But if you're not in Abbey's, join your book club. Yeah. That's all. Yeah. Thank you. Well, thank you again for listening to another episode of Unplanned and we'll see you next time. Thank you.