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Speaker 2Screw Up Your Kids podcast, the bucket-emptying episodes. I'm your host, Dr. Mary Han, psychologist and parenting expert. So, pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat and enjoy the conversation. Today's episode, I want to talk about reading and how we can encourage our whole family to read more. Because it can be. It can be a life-changing, easy to do, relatively low cost, zero cost to be honest with you if you use your local library. It's a great way to empty your child's bucket and also your own. Now, reading as a pastime, I was reading an article recently, excuse the pun, that has shown that reading as a pastime has been declining. So, they looked at basically the proportion of children who say they enjoy reading by age group. And it's part of some latest data, which is part of this Get Britain Reading campaign, which is not just targeted at children. It's about getting all of us reading. And it just shows the data, the stark extent to which we've seen this decline. And for me, the data that was the most concerning was in the age group of the 8 to 11-year-olds. So, let me just try and relay the visual data. We will share these two graphs as part of the free resource library. So, if you would like to see these graphs. Head over to www.drmaryhand.com forward slash library. All you need to do if you haven't already joined the free resource library is enter your email address and you'll get instant access to all of the free resources. There's four years worth of episodes here and a phenomenal amount of incredibly useful resources. And we will have this there as well as obviously you'll be able to access all of the others. And so, what they've looked at the data is they've looked basically over the last decade. So, they've looked at 2000. 2015 all the way to 2025 with yearly intervals at the proportion of children who say that they enjoy reading. And as I said, for me, the biggest stark contrast was the 8 to 11-year-olds. So, in 2015, so 10 years ago, 8 to 11-year-olds, over 70% would say that they enjoyed reading. Now, when we look at the data, it is just over 40%. So, there's been a 30%. So, there's been a 30% decline in a decade of children between 8 and 11 saying that they enjoy reading. Now, there has been a decline in all of the other ages, but actually it's been much more around the sort of the 10%. So, that really worries me for a couple of things. Obviously, it worries because it's the biggest decline. 30% is not, you know, it's over half, almost half in that decline. But I think what worries me more is not necessarily that number per se, but knowing that that particular period of time is when our children are really, really learning and developing that sense of inquiring and their mindset and their belief around reading. So, if we're seeing them at that age, at such a young age, making a decision that reading is not something that they do, that they enjoy doing, then it really sets a trend and almost a precedent for how they approach life just generally and their connection and their sort of connection with books and reading. And so. I really want to speak to that in this particular episode, because I'm sure it will resonate with you. If you know that over 40% of 8 to 11 year olds do not enjoy reading, a large proportion of those of you who are listening will have children who do not enjoy reading. There'll be a large proportion who are listening who are having battles with their children around reading. And so I want to, I want to address that, but I can't address it with just our children. I need to have that conversation about our relationship. So, when it comes to reading and obviously that drop in that decade from 2015 to 2025, just think of how omnipresent technology has been within those 10 years in terms of iPad use, in terms of our children having to do certain amounts of their homework, gamifying our children, in terms of the ages at which children are then having smartphones and devices. 30% of 8 year olds have their own smartphone. So, we can see that there's a connection. And this episode is not about chastising anything around tech. It's simply about identifying that there are some really huge benefits, which I will share, to that joy and that delight and that love of reading, that it's worth the investment in our time to A, listen to this episode, and to B, take one thing away that will resonate for your family, but with each of your children that you can then use to encourage that love of reading. So, let me just share some of the data. What they looked at in terms of the, when we start looking at it from an adult perspective, is that they looked at the top three formats that each adult age group, what they read daily or nearly daily. So, for example, for 25 to 34 year olds, their top three formats for reading were, the top one was social media posts, 82%. Their next one was subtitles, 70%. And then the next, the third one was digital articles, which was 68%. So, that, as you can see, reading, as in a physical book, did not feature in the top three formats of how they read each day. It's only once you start getting into the age of 35 to 44 that we see 57% of that age group read a print book. And then for 45 to 54 year olds, there's 50%. So, it declines from 35 to 44. It declines when you're 45 to 54. And then it goes back up at 55 to 64 at 53%. And then when you hit 65 plus, it goes up to 54%. But the thing with the 65 plus, their top three is social media posts is 57%. But they get two aspects of print. They get the digital print books, which is 54%. But they also get print newspapers and magazines at 54%. So, 65 and above. So, 65 and above are really accessing and reading. And that, we can explain that in lots of different ways. Generationally, they obviously, smartphones and computers were just not around anyway. So, their habit has always been to read newspapers. Their habit has always been to have that physical thing. But also, we've also got 65 year old pluses are often retired and they have more time. But it's an interesting spread when we look at it. At what point do we then? Really start using, having those physical books. So, I want to start first of all, by just talking about the benefits of reading. Because I think it's just useful to do that recap. If nothing else, to hopefully convince you that it is worth investing some time. And for those of you who are listening to this episode as it actually comes out, for the very first time, will be listening on a school holiday. So, a perfect time to be looking at ways that you might be able to kind of reignite a passion and an interest or start. For the very first time, an interest in reading with your children. So, the three benefits are what we call the sort of the intellectual, the sort of academic benefits that we all think and know about. Which is our children, by reading physical books, it expands our children's vocabulary. You know, our children are exposed to a certain amount of vocabulary within our family, within their school environment, within their friends. But books enrich that with a whole additional vocabulary that they may not be exposed to in any other situation. So. It's great because that vocabulary can then be used in terms of their own creative writing, academically and intellectually at school. But it can also be used in a whole manner of expanding, mind expanding ways. Also, from the intellectual side, it also helps with their language skills in terms of the way that sentences are structured, punctuation and how to construct an argument. So, it's also helpful for that. Reading is also hugely positive in terms of memory. As well as focus and attention, problem solving skills, construction of arguments. So, it works. There are so many benefits that translate directly from being immersed in a story or a book that narrates a particular hobby that they have all the way through to their academics. But it also is helpful for their emotional and their social skills. Because reading helps them build empathy, understand emotions. It also helps them to understand. And view other people's perspectives. When we think about the way that stories are written from the first person, the third person. But the fact that the stories tell us about different people's lives and their feelings and how they engage with their own world. That it can be really helpful for that. And from a social and emotional perspective, reading is a great stress reliever. It's a great way of emptying that bucket by becoming completely immersed in a story. And then the third benefit of reading. which I guess is probably the intuitive one, is that it's great for our children's creativity. creativity and also for their imagination. Because by reading the words on a page and the stories that are told to us, whether they're fiction or whether they're nonfiction, it's immersive and it prompts the reader to use their mind creatively and their imagination to construct, to take those words and almost create a visual narrative in their mind of the characters that might be in the story. If they're reading fiction of the situation and the scenario, they're almost making those imaginary video clips. And of course, what that then does is it allows that particular area of our children's brains and also ours to be flexed and exercised regularly. And when we repeatedly read, when we immerse ourselves in these stories with the way that the words speak to us on the page, that that particular part of the brain then becomes active and is therefore readily available to us when our children are then asked to write a creative story or to be able to discuss and debate things because they've got the skills that they've acquired about being able to see things from another person's perspective. So there are huge benefits to really encouraging our children to read. And now we're going to take a quick pause for a word from our sponsors.
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Speaker 2you will be listening to this, will be saying, I totally agree with you, Mary Han, but I have a real problem at home in terms of my children just not. I've maybe got one child or maybe all of your children. See, reading is a chore. You have to have battles with them all of the time in terms of even getting them to do their school reading. So I want to just talk through three ways that we could encourage our children to read. And to see reading as something of pleasure. The first one I would say is that I think that we shouldn't get too hung up on the format of reading itself. So we want children to engage with the physical page. So there's lots of evidence that shows that there is something very unique about holding paper in the form of a book or a magazine that a Kindle, for example, just does not give. We fully get the true benefits from that paper. And I get it. My husband bought me a Kindle this year for my birthday, and I really love it. But I balance it equally with actually having physical paper because there is just something about the way that we turn the page that we just simply can't recreate on a digital device that really has that fully immersive quality. So for me, it's about bearing in mind that we want our children to experience the tactile nature of the paper. But we don't need to get hung up on the fact that they need to read these specific books in a specific series and instead broaden it to maybe magazines, picture books, specialist hobbies, if they aren't particularly engaged in a particular fiction. Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't be encouraging our children to be reading the books, particularly if you're listening to the and you've got a school-aged child that, you know, the books that necessarily come back as part of their reading record. However, what I would say, and this will come up in number two as well, is that we don't want to make reading a battleground. The minute we make it a chore, the minute we make it a to-do list, which sometimes it can for some children, it then becomes an association with homework. And it seems it's almost punitive rather than pleasurable. I would rather a child create goes at a slower pace, but sees the joy and the pleasure in what books can bring them than it is about them systematically and at a reasonable speed working through a specific book series. So if you're listening to this and you've got a child who loves reading, who is very happy to do the reading that they're sent home from school, but you're just trying to top up the reading, then take from the tips that I'm going to go through, but if you're a parent who is already battling and it is become a massive argument and there are tears and that enjoyment is lost, I would really encourage you to consider taking a step back and approaching it in a different way so that you can bring that enjoyment and having a conversation with school and the teachers that that is the approach that you're taking. I've been doing this for over 20 years and I have spoken to teachers on multiple occasions around the world. I've been doing this for over 20 years and I have spoken to teachers this particular area and universally their view is they would much rather children find a joy in the reading rather than it becoming a battleground just so that they can complete their reading record. They will support you in the way that you want to approach it if you want to take the throttle off and just re-engage them, which then speaks to my point number two, which is particularly if you've got a child who you're having battles with, but I think also is for those of you who've are interested and who do enjoy reading from the perspective of doing their reading record, but they're just not immersing themselves in the same way and are looking for other sources of stimulation rather than reading books. And that is lose the regimentation of reading each day, of our children having to read to us each day for 10 minutes, and instead substitute it with reading exciting, engaging stories and asking them to read the odd words. So we're the ones that are reading a story that's super exciting, that's super engaging, that we can kind of like really bring in any thespian aspects that we have about ourselves and be super dramatic with the voices and the characters and the explanation, because we can then create that immersive environment for our children so that they can see we're bringing that book to life and helping them really see that, oh my goodness me, this is, this is, this is something that I really could be super into the stories. I can't wait to find out what happens. And then what we then do, because we've kind of created this immersive experience for them is then we can point to the odd word and ask them to read it. What we want to do, you know, cause this is about encouraging them to expand their reading beyond the stage that they might be at, but also for them to see that reading is not a chore and it can actually be really exciting. So I think we can do that with you know, point to the odd word and ask them whether that's a word that we picked deliberately because we're, our children are at the stage where they're blending sounds so that they can then, we can then see how capable they are about saying a word that they can break down phonetically or if our children are beyond that is helping them be able to do, look at more complex words. And then, you know, we can ask them to read words. We can ask questions about, you know, what, what do they think will happen next and why, and what, talk about the characters, what they might look like, what their motivations might be, what they might be doing next. So we're really making it for them a fully immersive and a pleasurable experience. And that really doesn't take a huge amount of time. I really think we can spare. I'd like to think we could spare 10 minutes to be doing that. And I, I remember doing this and it really being transformative in terms of both of my children's experience in reading. My level up for him was where we read, you know, I've read Animal Farm or we'd pick up some really much more challenging texts, but really do that with that massively hammed up and really dramatic voices. And what would then happen is after, you know, I'd read a chapter or a certain number of pages, he would then take over afterwards. It'd be like he, once you got through, we know that quite often when we're reading fiction, sometimes it takes a few chapters to get through, to really begin to get that story. And when we've got children trying to do that at that slower pace, when there's, you know, their language is there, their reading is there, but it's just not at the pace yet that they're able to get that story engaging right at the beginning. And if we can do that for them, they can run with it. So I know that that worked really well for him. Although he was somebody who absolutely loved, we'd go to the library or once a month, we'd get some new books and he would just disappear to his bedroom so that he would read them. My daughter was slower in terms of her immersion in books happened later. So I know that it was really pivotal. That whole experience of reading those books to her was really helpful to get her building that confidence in lots of ways to read stories beyond what her natural inclination would have been, which would have been reading the fairy series of books and then loads of books, the Michael Moore Pergo and lots of books around sort of animals and things. So it it was that it helped her move on to that next level. But you might have a child who is really just not. Books are a chore. Books are a bind. It's associated with school. They hate it. They think they're an awful reader. Then it can be really helpful if we just do it from that immersive perspective and then just get them to sound out the odd word for us because then they feel that they're part of that. So that's number two. Number three, wait for it. You know it's coming. Model reading for pleasure. I'm going to ask you a question. When was the last time you read regularly as a way to relax rather than switching the television on? Now, I'm as guilty as charged, so this is not an accusation bit, but we often tend to read for pleasure and relaxation when we go away or when we've got a few days off and we're on leave. Whereas actually, if we can be a bit more mindful for ourselves, if our children grow up in an environment where they're not going to read, they're not going to read, they're not going to relax. So it's not a lectury, look at me now, child. I am going and I'm going to read my book. So you, you know, can you see that I'm doing it? Therefore you should. But it's much more the sort of the subtle undertones that our children pick up. Oh, my parents are, notice that they're reading a book. It's the, it's the sort of the unconscious things that they see us doing on that of a new habit where when we go away, I'll obviously take some books with me or I'll buy some books at the airport. I will always leave a new book right to the end of the trip. So I will start it enough that I can get engaged in it, but I won't read any more than what is necessary to get me engaged in it. So that when I come home, I've still got that desire to know what happens next, that I get myself continue that habit of reading. Now I, my children, they're adults and they're not living at home anymore, but I still want to be able to remind myself of the huge pleasure that I get from reading rather than the default. And I, you know, I'll be honest. Our default is that we end up, you know, oh, we've had a busy day. We eat and then we just plonk ourselves in front of the television. Whereas actually it's really lovely having that motivation and that reminder of how utterly relaxing it can be just to have that time to be able to read and see that as a really genuinely helpful bucket emptying. But we have to be modeling it to our children. Our children need to see us with books next to our bedside table because we go, you know, before we go to bed, we read. I find that that's not always great for me because I tend to then fall asleep and I never get into the story. So I tend to do it at other times. But I think if our children see us doing it rather than us lecturing it and they see books around often, then it can be a really, really good thing. And books do not need to be for our children, storybooks, if that is not the way that they need. If we're battling around reading, then comics, magazines, short form are really, really helpful or books that speak to a hobby that your child has because it's just getting them to see the pleasure of holding and flicking through that book. Even if it's just one minute or five minutes, it's that building blocks. We're playing the long game here when it comes to reading. The benefits are there and are hugely helpful. We just, in my view, to encourage a love of it, we almost have to reset and take a step back, particularly when we have a child who just isn't at that place yet. So I'm hopeful that those tips will be something that you can take away, you can tweak, you can refine for each of your children and maybe consider your relationship with books and how you might want to reset that, change that, refine it and tweak it in your own way. 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