Genesis 34: Redefining Love

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It's his word that transforms. You will find more and see more than I could ever articulate. Welcome to chapter by chapter. Today's chapter is Genesis 34, redefining love. Definitions are being challenged and changed in our society today. People are redefining marriage, the home, gender, and other important values. But the most important definition that has changed is the word love. It's based on feeling, attraction, and even comfortability. No modern definition of love has the fact of sacrifice and selflessness attached to it. Charles Finney, the great American evangelist, had the best definition of love. He said, "Love is an act of the will, focused on choosing the highest good of God and all beings for their own sake. It's wanting and then choosing the best for somebody else, not you, somebody else. You are excluded. Love is others focused." Shekham had the wrong definition of love. Remember Jacob has just built a home near this city as he is on a journey back to his home. One day his daughter, Dynah, ventured into the city. She was noticed again by the sons of Haymore who have seen her before. This family sold property to Jacob in the previous chapter. Dynah was not a stranger. They knew who she was, then this happened in verse one. Now, Dynah, the daughter of Leah, whom she had born to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land. When Shekham, the son of Haymore, the hip-ite, the prince of the land saw her. He took her and lay with her by force. He was deeply attracted to Dynah, the daughter of Jacob. He loved the girl, spoke tenderly to her. So Shekham spoke to his father, Haymore, saying, "Get me this young girl for a wife." Now, Jacob heard that he had defiled Dynah his daughter. Did you see it? Did you see how two people had two different definitions of love? This young man saw Dynah, took her, lay with her by force. He was attracted to her, spoke tenderly to her. And then he said this, he loved her. He loved her. Yes. By their messed up definition, he loved her. What is interesting, what this prince of the land called love, the patriarch Jacob called defile. Defile means to pollute, to dishonor and to violate. These two men are so far apart on what love is. The same chasm exists today in defining love. Sex and attraction didn't equal love in Genesis 34 and it sure doesn't equal love today. Don't believe the redefining of God's greatest word. Still the greatest definition of love is God's definition from 1 Corinthians 13. The Apostle Paul says this, starting in verse four, "Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, doesn't boast, love is not proud, love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. I still think the best way to stay on track with God-defined love is to remove the word love from this section of scripture and insert your name in my name. All of a sudden you will see if you really love someone. When you say like this, Tim is patient, Tim is kind, Tim doesn't envy and Tim doesn't boast. Tim is not proud, Tim does not dishonor others and Tim is not self-seeking. Tim is not easily angered and Tim keeps no record of wrongs. Tim doesn't delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Tim always protects, Tim always trusts, Tim always hopes and Tim always perseveres. Talk about a sledgehammer to modern day love definitions. It makes you think twice when you say to someone I love you. Hay more the father of the prince that defiled Diana came to Jacob 'cause he wanted a marryer. What would that marriage look like when it started on the foundation of defilement? I remember sitting with a young engaged couple in my office asking a very personal question when they told me they wanted to be married. I asked the first question, do you love each other which they responded with a resounding yes? Then I asked the secondary question which poured cold water into our conversation. I asked this, have you had sex with each other? Before you judge my fourth rightness please understand I was making sure we were all on the same page about the definition of what love is. That day I felt like Jacob in the son of Shechem who were talking from two different dictionaries. That couple responded with a second yes to the second question. Why is this critical to ask? If the bible says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church we better get that love word right or you may be defiling your wife when you should be loving your wife. That young man defiled that young woman. He wasn't patient according to 1 Corinthians 13. He wasn't honoring and he wasn't protecting her. He defiled her as that young man in Shechem defiled Diana and called it love. I'm just not willing to let the word love be given over to our culture for redefinition. I'm willing to fight for its biblical definition. Everything we live for and stand for is based on these words being true. For God so loved the world but not in a Shechem way but a 1 Corinthians way. Thank you for joining chapter by chapter. Every chapter from the greatest book, the bible, the word of God. Seven minutes a day, seven days a week. We'll see you tomorrow.