Gayest Midterm Ever?

Crooked Con is coming up right after the election, and we have just added a bunch more great names to the lineup. We've got Governor J.B. Pritzker coming, Senator Chris Murphy, and then over from the House side, Ilhan Omar, Robert Garcia, Sarah Jacobs, Jamie Raskin, Sarah McBride. We also have Carlos Eduardo Espina, Simone Sanders Townsend, Eugene Daniels, David Pakman, Jessica Tarloff, Heather McGee, and then all the other people that we've announced on the website, plus more to come. Great list. Check out the full lineup and get tickets right now at CrookedCon.com. We'd love to see you there. That's CrookedCon.com. This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culture East. That's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture East. Okay, we've been talking about Kewpie Mayo for a minute now, Bow, and wow, the feedback we're getting. I mean, so many of y'all love this stuff. You're stopping us in the street going, I love Kewpie. And if you're thinking, wait, what is Kewpie? Do you not have the internet? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise, the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere. People ask what makes it different from basic mayo. Well, the answer, egg yolks. Kewpie is made with egg yolks only, giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. People who really love food and flavor use it. Whatever you're eating, Kewpie it. So if you haven't tried Kewpie yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand, Kewpie, the original Japanese mayonnaise. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm Jon Lovett. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. What a week. With days left until the election, President Barack Obama kicked off a campaign blitz with a stomp in Ohio on behalf of Democrats Amy Acton and Sherrod Brown. Meanwhile, Vivek Ramaswamy remains hospitalized after being diagnosed with stage four stepping on his own dick. Here's our guy in action. And let's be honest. Does anybody really think this guy in the White House right now is spending all that time thinking about these issues? I mean, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've seen a lot of people but he seems very focused on home renovations. He should be on HGTV. Guy's building a ballroom that's bigger than the White House. And there's gold everywhere. What's up with the gold? Everything. More gold. He's got the White House looking like Saddam Hussein opened a cheesecake factory. Check out Dennis Hussein, Miller over here. Naturally, Republicans pretended to take great offense at the joke. Here's Treasury Secretary Scott Besant emerging from a cheesecake factory on Monday. Hi, Mr. Secretary. It's an interesting lunch choice today. What did you order for the cheesecake factory? I always had the French dip cheeseburger. Look at this guy. We're supposed to believe that he always eats a 1,600 calorie burger from the cheesecake factory. I hope Besant's toilet is a seatbelt because he's about to go on the ride of his life. Here's Besant's response to Obama's dig. This is the man who built the museum that looks like Darth Bader's tomb. And I would just tell the. I eat a great meal, always have a great meal, and I would tell the Martha's Vineyard set to give it a try. Oh, sure. Real man of the people, Scott Besant. Here's a map by the Wall Street Journal of where Scott Besant has owned homes. People in glass houses in Provincetown and Greenwich shouldn't throw stones. Also, we're saying that because cheesecake factory is good, which we all agree on, that therefore the White House looking like a cheesecake factory is good. I enjoy going to Dave and Buster's. Don't think there should be a skee-ball machine in the Oval Office. Also, they're all forgetting the Saddam Hussein part. If Obama said that Donald Trump was a clown from hell, he wouldn't be insulting the circus. Also, who thought it was a good idea to have Scott Besant give the cheesecake factory review when this is the one topic that Stephen Chung is expert on? Which I say with respect. Later on Monday, the president himself responded. I've taken care of the White House. I fixed it with the finest partisan in the world. We re-skinned it. It was in horrible shape. The exterior plaster was broken, cracked. The painting was terrible. And I've re-skinned the building beautifully. You might even say he's a real re-skin head. Frank Lloyd Allwright over here. We couldn't come up with one for Frank Gehry. Other architects include Le Corbusier. Didn't have any joke for that. We thought of I Am Gay. Trump continued to pout about the subject. I fix things very good, very beautifully. I always build beautiful and inexpensive. He said, this isn't a cheesecake factory. Can you believe it? Which is a very successful company. At least if Trump is talking about the cheesecake factory, he's not talking about John Husted's chocolate factory. His ass. His beautiful ass. Amazingly, Trump and Republicans have all taken the bait, spending the last few precious news cycles of this election talking about Trump's pet construction projects. Here's former Congressman Mark Walker at the Greensboro Cheesecake Factory. You cannot expect me to believe that someone with pants this tight set foot inside of that cheesecake factory. You can't claim to be standing up for real America while dressed like the executive anthropic hired to teach Claude how to be gay. Right-wing Congressman Randy Fine also said he went to the cheesecake factory. And him, I believe. This is a guy that knows his way around a cheesecake factory menu. And again, I say that with respect. Now let's check in one more time with the big man of the people. You'll be my guest at Mar-a-Lago. The problem is that for $5,000, the most you'll be able to buy is a hamburger and maybe a small dessert. I don't know. I'm not even sure you could buy that. No, don't go there. That's not a good place if you're price conscious. Oh, don't worry. No plans to visit Mar-a-Lago until it's a museum that teaches children how not to let this happen again. It's fun to think about. Jesse Waters might have said it best. It is funny what he said about Saddam Hussein looked like he opened up a cheesecake factory. And then Essence said the library looked like Darth Vader's tomb. That's pretty funny. But we're talking about asses and architecture. This is the gayest midterm ever. The only thing gayer would be if Trump pantomimed shoving meat in his mouth. But he would never do that because that would be insane. I love the meat. I love it. Come on, man. You gotta remember to show the balls some love. President Obama later took his talents to Michigan to stump for gubernatorial candidate Johnson Benson and Senate hopeful Abdul El-Sayed. Abdul's as Michigan as it gets. Abdul was born here. He was raised here. Parents in the auto industry. Played football in Bloomfield Heights. Captain of his high school football and lacrosse and wrestling team. I mean, he's just a jack. You see those big guns? That's where he wears those t-shirts. And unlike the other guns pointed at Israel, U.S. military aid is useless against them. Gotta get one in. Obama is responding to escalating attacks against Abdul, which include Trump's subtle approach here. I'm here to keep a jihadist Muslim Brotherhood member from becoming a United States senator. And that's the fact. The Muslim Brotherhood is not to be confused with the Brothers Muslim Hood, the Trump Towers that Don and Eric are building in Dubai and Saudi Arabia. Trump then painted a portrait of a terrifying future. If Abdul and the Democrats win, they will open the floodgates and invite hordes of jihadists to our shores, creating a nightmare of violence and terror until you cannot even have a Christmas or. Remember when I started the war on preserving Christmas? Now they're all saying Merry Christmas again, aren't they? And we'll have a Merry Christmas if you get out and vote. So, let's just walk through the logic here. Democrats win the House and Senate. Democrats then pass a bill to open the borders and fund some sort of ad campaign aimed at foreign jihadists, encouraging them to move to America. Donald Trump, who is president, signs this bill and then implements the policy. And then, no Christmas. And sure, that all makes sense. But here's the problem. These jihadists that the Democrats are going to import are going to ban Christmas in America, but they can't even ban Christmas in the Middle East. Hey, Muslim Brotherhood, the war against Christmas has to start at home. And on Tuesday, Vice President J.D. Vance was asked about Trump's smears against Abdul. Is Abdul El-Sayed a jihadist, like the president said? Well, look, he certainly has a lot of weird friends. Of course, not surprising that Vance would be jealous of someone having friends. But Vance later said this at a rally in Howell, Michigan. We have to understand what happens when our nation gives in to these kinds of people, to young men with zero attachment to its land or to its history. What we saw in France, the hatred, the ingratitude, the desire to destroy rather than the desire to build, that exact same cancer is what has corrupted us. What we saw in France, the hatred, the ingratitude, the desire to build, that exact same cancer is what has corrupted us. Abdul El-Sayed writ large. Young men with no attachment to the land. Abdul and J.D. are the same age. Also, Abdul is an American who was born in Michigan. What do you mean he has no attachment? Are Christian Americans born with some sort of Velcro taint I'm not aware of? Abdul is an American who was born in Michigan. Mike Rogers, Abdul's opponent, is desperate to have Trump and Vance stir up the base with all this hate while trying to pretend he's not like the other girls. Here he is on Meet the Press. Do you consider yourself to be a MAGA Republican? Listen, I'm going to tell you something. I get you guys on the national press, but this is a little bit disgusting to me. You know what you don't cover? The chairman of the Democrat Party just came out and said he cannot, the former chairman, sorry, he cannot vote for Abdul. The current senator's finance chairman. Hold on, but Congressman, I'm asking you about you. I'm just asking you about you. This is important. This is important. But it's not answering my question. Are you a MAGA Republican? I've already answered the question, Kristen. That's just what I want to know. Kristen, let me, I'm going to go right back through this. First of all, if you're going to filibuster and not answer the question while trying to get your hit in on your opponent, you can't fumpher. You got to have it ready. You can't be like, it's the former, the current, Kristen, because she's going to interrupt because it's bad TV. You're doing bad TV. You got to do good TV if you're going to be a fucking hack, Mike Rogers. But also, Rogers won't say he is MAGA because it's extremely unpopular, but he won't say he's not MAGA because he's afraid of Trump and needs Trump. Which actually tells you exactly what kind of senator he will be. One that is completely beholden to Trump while hoping voters infer that he is aesthetically distinct from MAGA without actually being independent in any way. If you follow the Grateful Dead around on tour, you're not less of a fan because you don't wear tie-dye and a headband. You're a deadhead by your actions. Rogers even, yeah, Rogers even experienced an unfortunate earpiece malfunction. And wouldn't you know it? It hit just as he was about to answer a hard question about Trump. I know that President Trump is going to be out in Michigan campaigning with you a little bit later on today. Let me ask you, Congressman, is a vote for you a vote for the Trump agenda? I'm apologizing. I'm having some difficulty in my earpiece, but is a vote for you? I'm not sure. I'll tell you what a vote for me is. It's a great day for the state of Michigan. Wow. Beautifully handled. I'm sorry you're breaking up. I heard, am I crushing this interview, even the hard questions? And the answer is yes. Abdul has now responded to all of this directly. I get that the President of the United States takes personal offense to my first name. He doesn't mind as much when it's a shared name from the Saudis who are funding his son-in-law's private equity. Doesn't seem to mind as much when it's the Qataris who are giving him a $400 million private equity. He just seems to have trouble pronouncing it when it's my name. It's a great point, and Trump surely has no problem saying the name Paula Abdul, because we know he went to a Paula Abdul concert in 1991 because he said afterward that he rescued a man who was being beaten with a baseball bat that a witness said Trump didn't show up until after the assailant had run away. And look, I realize I'm veering off topic, but it's not my fault. I remember all of Trump's lies ever since I was diagnosed with Trump derangement. The only question is, what happens first, Abdul reaching the Senate or whatever's on Trump's hand reaching his brain? Either way, Trump is going to really have to stay on message to take the Democrats down. By the way, I looked at one hell of a beautiful ass before, Nicki Minaj. That's hard to miss. In fact, Trump will sometimes think about Nicki Minaj's ass if he's in the middle of talking about John Husted's ass and he doesn't want to finish yet. Finally, on Monday, in celebration of the city investing $2 million in the New York Aquarium, Mayor Zoran Mamdani received a kiss from Pickles the City. It's a seal, whereas First Lady Rama Duwaji is calling the creature Pickles the Slut. Let's take a look at the animal being fed. I love the meat. Guys, that's the wrong clip again. Keeps happening. Let's roll the right clip. I've heard of sealed with a kiss, but kissed with a seal? Thank you. But I'll tell you this much, I wouldn't mind tossing a herring in his mouth, and I'd feed that seal too. All right, we've got a great show, and we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by SimpliSafe. For most of us, home security was never really about the house. It was about the people inside of it, the ones you'd do anything to protect. A break-in leaves a mark even if nothing is taken because it marks the moment home stops feeling safe. 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That's SimpliSafe.com slash loveit. And when you order, please write in Love It or Leave It in the checkout survey. It lets them know we sent you and really helps to support the show. SimpliSafe, ahead of crime in real time. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Tommy John. Follow us here, which means it's time to get back into a rhythm. With schedules picking back up and all that that entails, there's one thing you don't want to have to think about, being comfortable, which brings us to Tommy John. The right underwear can completely change how you move through the day. Tommy John is designed for movement, downtime, and everything in between. Forward-way stretch means your underwear moves when and how you move. And when things heat up, breathability matters. Tommy John gives you airflow where you need it, so you can stay cool and comfortable. 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Whether you want to get trained on your rights and know to keep other voters safe at the polls, you want to amplify good information online, or start organizing the people you know to vote, Vote Save America has simple ways for you to get involved right now. This is the time. Go to VoteSaveAmerica.com. Make sure you spread the word with a few friends, too. Look, everybody is consuming so much. And I know there's a lot of talk about how we're going to. The polls are good and everything's looking good. Those polls can be off by just a little bit and it can be the difference between us winning the Senate and not winning the Senate. We don't know. We don't know where the closest races are going to be, but you can guarantee that there's going to be one near to where you live. And there's a ton of House races. We have no idea what the tipping point is going to be. So, this is the moment, this weekend. Sign up at Vote Save America. You can knock on doors. You can share information. You can find out how to join voter protection efforts. We need you right now. If you haven't signed up yet, please, please, please, right now, go to VoteSaveAmerica.com. This message has been paid for by Vote Save America. It is not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee. So, welcome, my first guest is Ron Perlman. Good to see you. Welcome back to the show. We're in Halloween Hellboy season. There are Hellboys all over town. Do you see them? You don't have to tell me. I look in the mirror and. Has anyone ever pitched you getting in the full makeup and then you kind of go around and people wouldn't necessarily know it was you? Wow, no. You could. That would be interesting. Hmm. it's on oh ron it's on uh how you doing i'm i'm okay for a man in my condition being alive on the earth well you know these are troubled times they are they are and yet we have to keep our spirits up oh this is so true and and um are you doing that by being here with you it's a hell of a start okay good because i just was listening to you just you know just rallying the cry yeah and i thank god for people like you john well that's because i've i've so what is new you you started a company called asylum it's like a new independent studio tell us about that well asylum studios is direct result of um you are you know how when you're going up to war you have all of these reasons to go up to war and then there's the one that you know that so the one for me was when the actors were on strike three years ago four years ago um right at the outset of the strike one of the studio heads said we're not coming to the bargaining table until you guys all lose your houses and i just went what they're in the same business and you can wish that on me and my family and my and your colleagues and and the people who are actually going to work every day and doing the best to make these beautiful stories that put fucking money in your pockets and that's what you wish on us is that we lose our houses and i realized that the disconnect between the community creative community and the people who are writing the checks is is first of all unprecedented broken in a way that's not ever been before but that these guys relinquished their rights to call us colleagues and i started imagining a world which was all of the things that for my 76 years on the planet pissed me off and i wanted to fix it's all going into the studio but what it is fundamentally is it's a fucking love letter to the labor force so asylum studios means the inmates are running it there are no executives there are no people there are no people there are no people there are no people taking a half a billion dollars for fucking everything up and putting it in their pocket because that's upside down that's illogical and it's like it's it's it's not earned it's and and and and and the the the the collateral damage is that the people who are making a living in my business have shrunken to the point where there it's a it's a true crisis they really did make all of my brothers and sisters lose their fucking houses and that's not okay because but that sentiment behind the fact that they can operate that way which is kind of the the robber baron america 2.0 is not just part of showbiz it's everywhere it's from the top all the way down it's like power and money which which is soulless and which is has no bearing on right and wrong which has no relation to the teachings of jesus which these people claim you know they are in charge of they know all about what's good for us and they have no fucking soul so we're building this little studio which is going to be a monument to the working stiff in our business the the the whole workforce which includes directors and producers and actors but also includes the people who pull the cable and people who clean the toilets and everybody who works on the silent picture will be a part owner of that so we're giving back people something to root for some skin in the game some semblance of hey i see you come with me let's just all fucking have a great time because this is a privileged business making movies is so fucking privileged and let's just do it among those of us whose hearts are so into this shit that we very often do it for free show me an executive that ever picked up a fucking pencil for free like what's in it for me and the disconnect is but as i mentioned to you when we spoke i feel as though this little movie studio which i'm doing because movies are my religion and i'm you know i've spent 55 years in that business i know a little about it but the company is more of a metaphor for what i feel like is the only the only counter movement to maga which is kindness which is decency which is going back to fucking saying i got your back motherfucker we're all in this together if you can show the workforce in this country a little fucking respect and bring them in and say let's all do this together that's an army because there's so many more of us that just want to fucking put food on our kids tables and party on the weekend and and then retire with dignity get get the get the promise that was made to us get back the american dream and if we can create it if we can create it in this little movie studio with with with this unprecedented kind of profit sharing and and zero um you know robotics that are that are that are the tail wagging the dog then all of a sudden i feel like we'll have a more joyful world and we won't have to resort to burning it all down which which is what these maga motherfuckers they play on they play on dividing us they play on our our anger they play on our grievances and it's disgusting and it's the lowest form of human behavior is to play on people's weaknesses we should be doing just the opposite disagree okay uh now is there's a a movie about ernest hemingway that is going to be one of the projects right and is that it's hemingway in cuba is that the idea it's hemingway as he's circling the drain so we when we meet him it's it i'm doing i'm playing hemingway so there are no flashbacks there's no younger hemingway we're meeting him just as he's on the cusp of paying the price for this really really large life he led which included alcohol and women and hunting and plane crashes and everything and now he's come to the point where he is losing his ability the same one and he's losing his ability to live and he's losing his ability to live and he's losing that got him the Nobel fucking prize. And we're watching a man who knows what it is to be great and who can't touch it anymore. So he's at that point. Meanwhile, Castro's up in the hills. Batista is like, you know, all mafia'd up. And J. Edgar Hoover is not digging what Papa Hemingway is saying about revolution in general. So he's being dogged by Hoover, but all of his family thinks it's because he's paranoid. Turns out, after he died, there was a huge file that Hoover was dogging him. So that's the movie. It's a musical. It's comedy. It's a musical, yeah. Well, I'm just saying, you come out here and you're like. Watch the dancing. I get the energy from where we started to like, what should I take on? Oh, I know, Hemingway at the end. Well, I was fortunate enough to be taken to Cuba during the beautiful, beautiful reign of President Obama. And President Obama was opening it up. There were flights all of a sudden, like eight flights a day from all parts of the United States to Havana. He went down there. He went to a ball game. He opened the embassy for the first time in 60 years. And he just ran out of time, but I think he would have ended the embargo. That's when I went down there. And I got infected by the magic of Cuba. It's one of the most vibrant, you know, I mean, the people are fucking huge. Interestingly enough, under a totalitarian kind of a shell, but they still dance their ass off on Friday night, bro. I mean, you cannot kill that spirit. And that spirit is. And that's what Papa fell in love with. That's why he spent 30 years living there. That's what I was doing when I. When I first arrived was, oh, I see. And then I met this dude who wrote this book, who was a Hemingway biographer, a Cuban dude who's passed away now, Enrique Surulis, sat me down, and he told me the story about the State Department visiting Hemingway and warning him, you got to keep your fucking mouth shut. Then he took me to the Ambos Mundos, which is this pink hotel where Hemingway had three rooms. One was. And they were all tiny little rooms. You had to go outside to change your mind. That's how small. Anyway. The one room was standing typewriter because he wrote standing up because he had back problems. Then another room down the hall was the room where he only fucked white chicks. Then another room down the hall was a room where he only fucked mulatto chicks. And so I said to myself, this is a very interesting dude. Then he said, okay, we're done here. He took me to this Bodeguita del Medio, which is a bar where Hemingway only drank mojitos. And we had a drink and his picture's up and some of the waiters that waited on him were still there. You know, if you've ever been to Havana, the time stopped in 1959. So it's all the same cars. Everything is the exact same. We have a mojito. He says, come on, we're going somewhere. And we go across town. We go to the Florida Dita, which is where Hemingway only drank daiquiri. So he didn't drink a daiquiri at the Bodeguita and he didn't drink a mojito at the Florida Dita and he didn't fuck a white chick. But, I mean, this guy was, if there was ever a story that needed to be told, I mean, I'm telling you. I'm getting the sense that, this is a strange thing to think about, but I'm wondering, I'm also thinking about the writing. Maybe he was on the spectrum. You know, he liked to keep things in their different spaces. I wonder if he'd mind, could the peas touch the potatoes kind of a thing? The writing is all very logical, you know? Not a lot of flourishes. You know, you think about it. Well, when he was in his prime, I mean, you know, no one was more lauded in literature maybe ever than Hemingway. But what fascinates me is that the man he was, the life he lived, was bigger than even the body of work he left behind, which was massive. So, I'm fascinated by the dude, obviously. So, we always like to pick your brain when you're here. Oh, it's picked. We're getting in there. So, it's time for a segment we're calling Mean Pearls. It's a playoff of Mean Girls. That's not a picture of me, is it? You're on the right, I'm on the left. Holy shit, there's three pictures. I'm looking good. I love being in a miniskirt. Who's that on the left? That's me. So, we're going to give you a topic. I'm looking good. I'm looking good for sure. Really cute, man. And here's how it works. I'm going to give you a topic, and you're just going to give us your gut reaction. All right, we're going to go through a couple. First up, the use of AI in Hollywood. Technology is only as good as the hands you put it in. It can be so good, but it seems to be a trend to overwhelm our humanity with tech, and one of the reasons why I'm doing Asylum Studios is because I want to overwhelm tech with humanity. So, in our studio, the entire C-suite, which is where all the executives would normally be, will be run by AI, and the creative part will be protected. What do you think about bad superhero movies? They're bad. And, you know, they're the reasons why these studios are failing. You realize we used to have 35 fucking studios, and now we have, like, after this deal goes through, we'll have two? I mean, they've shrunken it to the. I mean, you know, and this is the state we're living in, and we're not complaining, we're not doing anything about it. It drives me nuts. Nuts, I tell you. Yeah, it's funny. The connect to the Trump part of it is, you know, like, because we had Barry Diller on the show, I talked to him about this a bit, which is, you know, you go back to Hollywood's always lamenting that there used to be a golden age, right? Like, in the 40s, they were talking about the 30s, and in the 60s, they were talking about the 40s, and in the 90s, they talked about the 70s, now we talk about the 90s and the 10s, whatever. But there was this idea, like, why is this happening? Why does it feel as though something has changed? And you think, like, well, what were the reasons that Hollywood had some. Well, there were some people that had some ethics, but that was rare. There was fear. There was shame, right? And all of those things seem to have, like, gone by the wayside, right? Because there are no. Like, it used to be that if a studio lost the faith of the community, right, they couldn't make a great movie. That's all they had was movies. But if you also work for a company that sells toilet paper, books, and, you know, cloud computing, they don't give a shit about what happens in their studio, as much as they used to. Hey, what do you think about seeing your dogs? Well, I can write you a book. I'm married to my wife, Alison Dunbar, who is way cool. She's a groundling, so she's funny as fuck. But, you know, if there were no humans and only dogs, she would be actualized. We have nothing but rescues in the house. She turned me on to the concept of rescue. I wasn't aware of it, you know. Like everybody else, you just go to the pet store or you go to a breeder. So she turned me on to that. And then she has this propensity for seniors who need rescuing. And so, in the last seven months, we've had three seniors. Two of them we had. One of them we had for six months in a day, and we lost him. Because they're very old, and they're near the end. And it kills her every time one of them passes. Then we had one that was much older than we were aware of. We had him for like maybe three weeks. We lost them both over the last six months. And she still went and got another one. Tears her heart out, and yet she fucking keeps going. It's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it. Because of these dogs, you know. Don't get me going. I'm gonna cry. But they. Their lives, the ones we've saved, not saved, rescued, whatever, were horrific. They were found in these horrific conditions, in these horrible kill shelters, and in cages, and picked up from South Central and dumped. And so, whatever you can do. My wife is one of those people who does it. Thank you. Hey, there's gonna be a Sons of Anarchy reboot. I heard that. Are you being it? Yeah, man. That's good. I'm playing Ron Perlman. The weird thing is I had to read for the role, but anyway. Ron Perlman, everybody. We'll be right back. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Blinds.com. Most people don't realize what a massive impact window treatments make on the look and feel of a room until they get the right ones. That's the Blinds.com difference. Custom window treatments backed by award-winning design teams. Design experts you can actually talk to. And right now, you can get $50 off when you spend $500 or more. Whether you want to go full DIY or have vetted pros handle everything from measure to install, you're always in control with Blinds.com. They make it simple to choose the level of support that works best for you with flexibility every step of the way. Need help picking the right style? 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Visit Blinds.com or more with code Lovett. That's Blinds.com, code Lovett. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by HIMSS. If there's a weight loss goal you keep chasing, but that always seems to evade your grasp, you're far from the only one. Weight Loss by HIMSS can help you finally close the gap with access to a range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the Wegovi pill and the Wegovi pen. Wegovi is the first GLP-1 weight loss medication available in both pill and injectable pen forms, giving you flexible treatment options. When combined with diet and exercise, Wegovi can help adults achieve meaningful weight management with clinical trial participants, losing an average of 14% of their body weight at 64 weeks. To get started, just go to HIMSS.com and complete the online consultation with a licensed provider who will determine if a prescription is right for you. I want to see how much I lost. I lost 17% of my body weight, so that's pretty neat. To get started, just go to HIMSS.com and complete an online consultation with a licensed provider who will determine if a prescription is right for you. HIMSS is more than just a prescription. Nutrition and lifestyle guidance are part of the plan, along with access to 24-7 messaging with your care team, so you've always got someone in your corner. If you're ready to reach your goals, visit HIMSS.com slash love it to get personalized, affordable care for weight loss, hair loss, sex, testosterone, and more. That's HIMSS.com slash love it. HIMSS.com slash love it. Individual results may vary, and stopping treatment may result in weight regain. Weight loss by HIMSS is not available in all 50 states. Wegovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wegovi clinical study information, and restrictions, visit HIMSS.com. And we're back! Joining us is the Ron Perlman of stand-up comedy, the hilarious Beth Stelling! What an honor! Hi, everybody! I'm so glad you two could meet. I've been meaning to introduce you. Oh, yeah, we were having a blast up in the green room. Mike, Mike, Mike. Yeah, man. Thank you for that second take. Always better, honestly. In your 2025 stand-up special, If You Didn't Want Me Then, you said you feel like you're aging, doggy years so how old would that make you now oh 84 i don't know i don't do math i'm a comedian what's the old what's the thing that you feel what makes you feel oldest you know that one was i guess that was shot like in 2022 and i think the the pandemonium aged us all you know so i think that's where i was coming from on that where i felt like geez it feels like i've lived 100 years and six that's what i think it was i have to hand my phone to my younger spouse to say i don't understand where instagram instagram is a labyrinth i'm sorry i know i sound old what in the idea that we're all pretending instagram is navigable is insane okay it is insane that like where are your messages of course your messages are is it do i hit the button that has the fucking airplane that signals messages no you fucking stupid piece of shit that's not where they are where are they you click your own face is that what you do i don't think so okay see you are like that about instagram i feel that way about tiktok the interface is far too small i'm all of a sudden if you open it up it's just playing stuff i deleted it when the bad guy bought it and then somebody was like you gotta get on there for the ticket sales anyway somebody else is posting on my behalf so if i haven't replied that's why it's not me so ron we're both uh 40 in the sense that i'm 44 and i'm 41 adjacent yeah i'm here i'm just on the other side of 40 uh what is some advice you have as someone who's aging gracefully both in terms of your physical prowess and supple mind do as much moving as you can while you can because it's going to come a time when you can't fucking get your body to do what your mind is used to do routinely and uh yeah my body is telling me no mine's uh you run an open mic in which you give notes on jokes for comedians running their sets so it's like that kind of the antidote to kind of like i don't know whatever like the kill tony style yes it's meant to be uh yeah it's called the the punch up open mic we're at ucb the main room on tuesdays almost every tuesday and november it's coming up but the show is actually fun it's like i came up during a time in chicago where first of all it's definitely very male dominated and open mics were sort of like scary and there's something to that you know like facing a fear and getting up there in front of people but there's also something to the idea of comedy meaning to be fun and silly and welcoming and for you to feel safe and do your best and so my goal is to create a very fun environment for all comics some people are new some people i have vets come in and run sets and i i do it with a guest host um i was on your show last time with guy branham oh yeah so guy did it with me he's done it with me a few times we sit there we watch the comics they each get three minutes and then we punch them up or tag up their jokes or do anything that might help if if we can't i'll do anything i would love that i'm inviting myself i would love that no but i have the i'm coming with i'm your plus one yeah okay we're all on the couch we're all on the couch yeah that'd be great you guys yeah it's gonna be a big night the gang's back together again i remember when i was first doing open mics in new york uh i was like you know going open mic and i was running out of the friends to bring yeah that that era that phase you're like please i need the dvd anybody to 10 more people please come and watch me and i was at the point where i had to like maybe stand outside and kind of get people to do it and i was like i don't know i'm gonna have the heart i can't i know it's hard barking is hard but uh official term i was doing and i was doing one of these open mics and i was It's like, I know I feel like I'm getting better at this. And that I'm, you know, you want, what you want to feel when you're doing those open mics is like, oh, like these people are doing open mics. But like I'm doing open mics in a way that is. I'm really going somewhere. Yeah. Important. Yeah. Like I'm on, you know, my rocket has fuel in it. But somebody that was working at, I think it was, doesn't matter. It was a comedy club in New York. Yeah. And he pulled me aside and he said, that was really great, but maybe think about trying this. And to this day, like, was he a comic? Was he just somebody that wanted to give me feedback? Whatever. It meant the world to me. Oh, good. It was like, oh, somebody was trying. Somebody saw something in there that was worth giving advice. Just that little thing. I'm glad you had that attitude because I opened the show by saying like, this is a consensual open mic. I want to laugh. I'm here to help. You know, I want this to be fun. And by signing up, you're welcome. You're giving me permission to punch you up because unlike how you received it, a lot of comics are lone wolves and they don't want any feedback. And I actually relate to that. For the longest time, I wouldn't write with anybody. It was very much, that's what I liked about the sport of it. It was like just me. So if I fail, it's on me. If I win, it's on me, you know? So interestingly enough, I feel like you have to trust the person that's going to give you the tag. Just in the sense that, especially nowadays with all the content that exists, they could be giving you something they heard on. Love it or leave it. It could happen. It could happen. Hey, you were really good at, are potentially still really good at field hockey. Yes. What? I haven't played in a little bit. Oh, there I am. Yeah. I played for the U.S. Women's Masters team the last couple of years. This is my first year off, but that was right before we did the Pan Am Continental Cup in Buenos Aires. And then I played in Cape Town in the World Cup with the U.S. Women's Masters team. So you're real good. That's real. You're real good. Thank you. Yeah, it's hard for me to be boastful, but it was cool to be on the team. You got the silver at the, what's it called? The Pan American Masters Continental Cup in Buenos Aires. That was very cool. Wow. And that was my first time playing on the team. Oh, hey, thank you. But yes, and then we played in the World Cup in 2024 fall, and that one was not as good of a showing. Hey, why are the sticks shaped like that? That little thing at the bottom. Why isn't it more like a hockey stick? Because we love Christmas. It's a little candy cane. Why is it like that? It's a Christian sport, don't you know? No, please don't. We shouldn't say that. Does it ever get physical? It does. I have a little scar here. I got some stitches here. But typically, it's not meant to be a rough game. You're not hitting. You're not meant to be running into each other. But for sure, people do get hurt. You wear a mouth guard. I'm a defender. So if we're doing a defensive corner, you usually wear a face mask. Some people in the game has changed so much, too. I started back, you know, in third grade when the sticks were wooden and we were on grass. I'm a witch. And now, you're on turf most games, and it's a composite stick or made of Kevlar and stuff. Things have changed so much. And it's so much of an aerial game, which as a kid, my coach was very insistent that we keep the ball on the ground. Yes, I remember that. I remember that. But you weren't. No lifting. No lifting. Keep it on the ground. Because truly, it's not meant to go above your knee. You were shingling. You were shingling. You were shingling. You were shingling. You were shingling. But aerials are a huge part of the game now, massively. If you watch clips and stuff, it's like, it is incredible to watch. And they're going really fast, those balls. You know, they should have men's field hockey. I think people would love it. They do. Oh. Yeah, they do. And in fact, it's even faster and even scarier. Beth and Ron, it's officially Halloween week. It is the season to tip our witch's hat to this year's most frightening ghouls and goblins and ask if they would let us. Hit it. Which is why it's time for a game we're calling, Would You Fuck This Monster? It's a classic of Love It or Leave It. Here's how it works. I'm going to read off a movie or TV monster from this year. And you'll tell us if you would fuck this monster. If we say, if we hear yeah, if the answer is yes, we'll hear this. Whoa. Yuck. Shame on you. Keep it in your pants. Keep it in your pants, speaker. And if no, we'll hear this. Oh, I like that. First up, we have the Vampire Lestat from the Vampire Lestat. Whoa. Jack Blonde, vampire rock star, but has the personality of- I would hit that all day. Whoa. Yeah, I think that's right. Let's all, I mean, we all would. I don't know. Guys, I was going to be, no. You look so- Thank you. Why no? That was just like too much. It looked like AI or some sort of clay-mation. Exactly. It looked like a scene. You know, wood is not the only, it's not always spelled that way. It's not always spelled that way. I can guarantee you. Bring Lestat back on. I'll show you some wood. I mean, that's a hot band. I understand that that's like a chiseled body. It looks like a bio, like a clip from a biopic of like, Twilight vampire meets fricking Elton John or something. All right. So I guess you don't want to be happy. Let's go to the next one. Next up, we have Other Mommy from Other Mommy. Yikes! All day. Looks like Jessica. Ron Torney! Does want to possess your child. She is very flexible. Wow. Next up, we have Kathy from East of Eden. Yes. She's beautiful. She's intelligent. I don't know East of Eden, so I don't know what I should be scared of. Well, then no spoilers for you, but I think you're going to want to be careful if you get in cahoots with Kathy from East of Eden. You're not going to like where that's going. story ends so it's psychological warfare with her is this the um steinbeck it's the it's the netflix adaptation of east of eden yes i don't remember any monsters in there so it's she's a human woman but she's not very nice i would say that quite early you learn that she is i would say psychologically unusual you know uh if you remember pass would not would not good decision good decision ron oh no uh you're gonna be longing for that vampire if you get in i am too deep with kathy from east of eden it's true oh boy oh boy maybe we just keep it to coffee yeah yeah for sure next up we have ghost face from scream seven yes hundred percent hundred enjoy enjoy anything will fit through that hole don't forget to text me while you're having your cigarette send me a send me a text ron wants to know how that that mouth oh that's his o-face next up we have the hag from widow's bay oh no uh we'll sit on your face until you die yeah this is what we're going to do next up we have the hag from widow's bay oh no uh we'll sit on your face until you die why they invented no i mean she'd be wet and that's a sound guy i was talking okay don't step on a good punch line what was i saying so that's the hag from widow's bay yes right and that was the reason why southern comfort was invented oh it's because if you have enough southern comfort you could even tap that no that's too scary and that was one of the scariest episodes for me it was too scary it was so scary i loved it oh my god when he goes out in the water for the swim swimming is so scary yikes i swam so badly on survivor next up uh the crazy hung zombie and 28 years later the bone temple yuck that looks like beef jerky or like slim good body who blurred this i don't know i i for some reason i'm thinking threesome you you you guys in the zombie don't take it personally anybody on the stage oh no no i was thinking you two in him and send pics well you see there you go the big ball of body parts from zach krieger's resident evil yikes fuck yeah he's in that's a no no for me no for me yeah if anything i'm using a condom with that thing gonna need a couple yeah dental damn condom dental damn condom my hands saran wrap around the whole thing uh yeah so just put a big plastic bag uh and bonus the wicker man not a not a monster but a monster but not an evil monster the wicker man from wicker in theaters in theaters now i believe is this sponsored i have everybody go get a popcorn and a diet coke and watch wicker man i have a splinter phobia so i feel like we're more endangered than you are i feel like we're more endangered than you are i feel like we're more endangered anybody with a a warm wet cave that that could enter well hey i don't i don't know if you know much about we all we all got warm we all got warm whether it's here or here no shortage of warm wet that's true brings us all together you're right you're right it is dangerous i think it's an over me as well and in a divided and in a divided world we can all come together when we remember that everyone prince charles jd vance beth have warm wet caves yes i don't know why i picked those three uh thank you best telling everybody you can see beth on tour go to bestselling.com please for tickets and we'll be right back yay hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by made in i love made in i didn't even know that was made in i didn't even know that they were a sponsor until i sat down today i've been a big fan of made in for a while i have one of their uh knives that i use all the time i have a bunch of their plates that i use all the time i actually got it because i did a ton of research when i was buying things for my kitchen they were like the best stuff at a good price that was my genuine like from my own personal research i was such a fan of theirs and i definitely love their stuff if you're considering the pros and cons of different cookware brands you should know that made in has more of the pros like tom colicchio and brooke williamson and many other professional chefs who all trust their cooking to made in cookware fact is made in has a long-standing relationship with professional chefs the company evolved from a 100 year old kitchen supply business and works with multi-generational craftsmen to make each piece they make exactly what demanding chefs are looking for including a wide selection of curated products from carbon steel to stainless clad plus plateware glassware and more but perhaps the biggest pro is that made in is sold online and delivered to your door if you want to take your cooking to the next level invest in made in cookware once you try it you'll be pro made into for full details visit made in cookware.com that's m-a-d-e-i-n cookware.com like made in m-a-d-e-i-n cookware.com on election night we will all be feeling a lot of feelings do not spend it alone spend it with me alex wagner for crooked media presents live election results we're gonna have john favreau john lovett tommy vitor stacy abrams dan pfeiffer aaron ryan and many more special guests to be announced and they're all going to be on the show next week to help us make sense of what's happening as the election results roll in so here's what you need to do subscribe to pod save america on youtube and tune in on tuesday november 3rd at 9 p.m eastern 6 p.m pacific for hot takes catharsis and as many results as we can possibly analyze this is matt rogers from lost culture east that's with matt rogers and bowen yang this is bowen yang from lost culture east with matt rogers and bowen yang okay we've been talking about qb mail for a while now bow and wow the feedback we're getting i mean so many of y'all love this stuff you're stopping us in the street going i love qb and if you're thinking wait what is qb uh do you not have the internet it's the og japanese mayonnaise the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle once you know what you start seeing it everywhere people ask what makes it different from basic mayo well the answer egg yolks up is made with egg yolks only giving it this incredibly rich flavor and it's made with egg yolks only giving it this incredibly rich flavor and it's made with egg yolks only giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything burgers fries sandwiches chicken noodles chefs use it restaurants use it people who really love food and flavor use it whatever you're eating qb hit so if you haven't tried qb yet find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about you'll understand qb the original japanese mayonnaise and we're back ron beth it's time to let any residual rage out in our fame segment the rant wheel we each get 60 seconds on the clock producer kelsey will spin the wheel and wherever it lands we'll let loose about the topic of our choosing let's spin it now let's see who goes first ron it's landed on you what would you like to rant about you have 60 seconds oh shit i thought the whole interview was a rant um god where do i begin i think i would like to call out um the people who um are running um 60 minutes and the orders that they're taking from the people they're taking their orders from and to say that um if that's not a direct assault right on what being american is which is freedom of speech freedom of the press and if we're not so enraged so that we don't take up arms against shit like that that we deserve the fucking government we get 13 seconds of applause yeah beautiful let's spin it again beth what would you like to rant about okay look it's not going to be original but it's part of my every weekend i'm always touring so it has to be about the fact that when you search a flight if you don't get it right then and then time passes it doubles in cost and then when you're on that then you have to choose your seat but it costs money to choose your seat and yes i have been flying for so long i do have status in some of these places but sometimes i'm such a i'm frugal i don't want to be wasting money on choosing a seat so i don't have to sit next to somebody and then when i get on there there's 15 open rows so the plane takes off and i say once we're up in the air and we're all steady up there i say hey guys what if i move to the road in front of us that's totally empty and the people next to me like yeah that'd be great then i move and they come over and they go you can't sit here and i was like but it's totally open and it's not an exit row and even if it were an exit row am i not allowed to take the oath once we're already up there and then she makes me move back and says you can only move backwards you can't move forwards what isn't that indicative of life that is that a new rule now because they want to make sure people actually pay for the seats up front that you can move further you can move to a worse technical right up. I know. Now, to be honest with you, I fly so much and I do just choose whatever's the best. I cannot remember exactly what the airline was, but I do feel like it's ubiquitous. Like, like you go up there and there's all these open seats. It's because people didn't want to pay. So we're all crunched back there. And it's like, come on, once we're up and we're steady, I'm not saying let's do full chaos, but you know, I'm not like tearing people out of first class, but let me move up to an empty row. That's nuts. It's just so interesting for me to learn about the culture of behind that curtain. This is what we look like. I know that there are people back there, but it's like, what are they like? We're hungry. We don't get as good of pretzels. Airplane travel since the pandemic has become edgy. Yeah. There's a lot of unforced errors. There's a lot of forced errors. I mean, you can't argue with the weather, but you can't argue with the fact that there's 314 people sitting there waiting to get on a flight and they forgot to get one stewardess. And they're canceling the flight. Well, you can also argue. And you're going to a place where you have to go to make a living so you can pay your rent. Yeah. But they don't look at it that way. No, they don't look at it at all. It has never recovered. But to your point of the weather, though, sometimes they're saying, you know, you can't blame the weather, but when you look outside, there is no weather that they're blaming and they're using the weather because then you can't apply for a refund. So both places probably have good weather, but they're like, it's the weather. And then you can't ask for your money back when you don't get to go to work. Wherever you're flying to. That's why we should shoot more in L.A. Yes. Bring filming back to Los Angeles. Bring touring back to Los Angeles. That's right. Let's spin it again. I didn't see that coming. Here's this is going to be kind of a rant recommendation. And I've talked about this. I don't believe I've talked about on the show, which is this. Uh, there's no rule that said the base of a salad has to be lettuce. There's no rule about that. And so here's my request. So I got a salad for lunch today and I do what I always do. I go into my app run by a tech company that takes a little off the top. They get their beak wet. They deserve it. Great company, great service. And I make my salad custom and you can choose anything you want, but you must start with lettuce. And I don't want lettuce. I'm not asking for more. Keep the fucking lettuce. Just take everything that would have been in that salad. Put it in the fucking bowl. Leave the lettuce out. I don't need it. I just want to eat everything else with the amount of dressing you provide. The lettuce doesn't have that much nutrition. It takes up a lot of space. It makes it hard to shake the fucking thing. And not people want lettuce. They can have lettuce. I'm just saying, let me choose no lettuce. Yeah. And, and I, and I don't want diarrhea either. From the lettuce. I'm with you. What are you doing? Rice? Nothing. I want just fucking toppings. I don't need the lettuce. Just whatever you were going to put in this thing, put it in this bowl, leave out the lettuce. That's it. You don't need it. Maybe this, maybe the special note is one leaf. Back in the, you know. You find it. Right. Just say, start with lettuce. We say, my special note is please just one leaf. But so you like, you know, like if you look at the, it used to be, you know, marshmallow salad all, all these other salads, we kind of in tuna salad, chicken salad. We know lettuce is not required to be a salad, but in the, but somehow in the lunch salad area, it's only fucking lettuce or half lettuce, half rice or something. I don't want just nothing. Go away. Lettuce. Nothing. Get out of our lives. Thank you. We'll be right back. And we're back. It's almost time for final curtain. But before we go, let's take a look back at all the stuff I fucked up during the show in a segment we call second thoughts. Here's how it works. Our producers have handed me a list of things they think that I could have done better or things I should regret. I'll share those with you and you'll decide whether or not they were right. You've also, you have any regrets. This would be the time to share them about tonight, about tonight. Let's see. Should I regret that I conjured the image of me as a woman? Or should I regret that I conjured the image of Donald Trump finishing? Didn't ask you. It depends on what he's finishing. Orgasm. Oh, yeah, no, that's very regrettable. I hope it never happens for him again. The whole thought of Donald Trump just finishing is fine with me. Right. Yeah, we all love that idea for sure. Oh, this is a regret suggested by the team. Listening to Ron made me realize I should pay my staff whatever they want. Okay. Should we regret that we made a graphic of you in a miniskirt? Fuck no. No, you like that. Okay. I always, because you know, I always wondered. Now I know. Yeah. There's nothing stopping you. Hey, that, that, that cell you're in, it's locked from the inside. Let's see. I immediately. Don't tell me not to fly. The first step is visualizing it. Uh, uh, I'm not, I'm not old enough to sound this old talking about Instagram. Yeah, you're not. I agree. It's not like a regret, but, but then I, but I feel that way about TikTok. That, if you had said TikTok, I'd have been right with you, but Instagram, it's bigger and you can see stuff. Second thought for Beth. Singing R. Kelly in 2026. Ooh, is that R. Kelly? Was that R. Kelly? I didn't even realize. No, my body is telling me, yeah. That's R. Kelly. Of course it is. Yeah, but it's okay if I do it. Um, let's see. I said to Beth, you're real good at field hockey, which was not a question, but my question was, why are the sticks shaped like that? That was the, I'm sorry. I don't know really why they're shaped like that, but I think it makes more sense than the hockey, ice hockey. Ours are like, you know. So there's more surface area to grab that, but the ball is different too. Anyway, sorry. Um, and then, uh, one potential regret is that we added a human woman to the monster game. I did that and they confused Ron. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Okay. But it was the only one he didn't choose. It was. It was. It's the only one I didn't choose. There was one beautiful. Oh, and wicker man, and wicker. There was one beautiful woman. You're like, no, no, just, just the arm ball for Ron. I feel like she was the only one I said yes to. All day, all day. And I have only one regret, that this show must end. No. Thank you so much to Ron Perlman, Beth Stelling. There are six days until the election, so get your heads in the fucking game. And we'll be back Friday with Todd Sashwick and Zaynab Johnson. Yay! Have a good night. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. Our show is brought to you by Zaynab Johnson. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Heifer, Sarah Lazarus, Raman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Raul Calderon, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroote. And our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. On election night, we will all be feeling a lot of feelings. Do not spend it alone. Spend it with me, Alex Wagner, for Crooked Media Presents Live Election Results. We're going to have Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vitor, Stacey Abrams, Dan Pfeiffer, Aaron Ryan, and many more special guests to be announced. And they're all going to help us make sense of what's happening as the election results roll in. So here's what you need to do. Subscribe to Pod Save America on YouTube and tune in on Tuesday, November 3rd at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific for hot takes, catharsis, and as many results as we can possibly analyze. This is Pod Save America. This is Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab. Research shows that social connection is important for happiness. And something that research comes back to again and again is that the little moments together matter more than we think. And that's why I'm such a big fan of rituals. Think about the glassware you use for all your dinner parties, ones that make your events feel right without even thinking about it. And that's why I've been using the Woodstock tumbler from Simon Pierce. They're hand-blown one at a time with the kind of character you only get from a human hand. Something made that slowly has a way of reminding you to savor the moments that really matter. Find yours at SimonPierce.com. That's S-I-M-O-N-P-E-A-R-C-E dot com. Simon Pierce. Made by hand, one at a time. You know when you try a new food and suddenly it's like, wait, how did I not know about this? Ryan Seacrest here. That's how people are reacting to Kewpie mayo. The one with the red cap you've probably seen on TikTok. What makes it different? Egg yolks. Kewpie uses egg yolks only. Giving it this rich umami flavor that elevates just about anything. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. Food lovers use it. You never tried it? Find the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. Kewpie. The original Japanese mayonnaise.