The Dope's Usual Podcast features a solo episode as planned after a guest cancellation, emphasizing the challenges of maintaining consistent guest appearances. The hosts recount an enjoyable trip to Las Vegas, where they play roulette and win multiple times, resulting in significant gains—highlighting both luck and the risks of poor financial decisions. They also share a personal story from a live performance where they forget key lines during a comedy set, underscoring the anxiety and pressure of live entertainment. The episode delves into broader cultural issues, including how social media platforms exploit users with algorithm-driven content, especially fake OnlyFans skits and superficial trends that prioritize views over authenticity. Hosts critique the influence of internet culture, particularly the overexposure to bizarre, low-quality content and the detrimental effects of constant screen time. They express concern about how children are raised with excessive screen use and how this leads to poor life skills. The discussion also touches on personal superstitions, including a strong belief in numbers and rituals, which stem from childhood trauma and a near-death experience involving a friend. The hosts reflect on how these fears have shaped their cautious, hyper-aware lifestyle—especially when it comes to safety in public spaces. They conclude by promoting a new series, "Dope As Usual Unrestricted," which features raw, unfiltered solo episodes showcasing chaotic and often shocking real-life moments, including dangerous situations and extreme internet trends, with a focus on authenticity over polish. The episode ends with a strong call for critical thinking in media consumption and a personal commitment to mental well-being and self-reliance.
- Oh, you can. (funky music) - What's up, guys? Welcome back to the Dope's Usual Podcast. My name is Thomas Dope's y'all, though, whatever you wanna call me. This is my co-star, Danielle. - What's up, folks? That's usually his way over there. And real quick, this camera right here, it was on me. And then we're like, "Why is it so white?" The white balance is thrown off because it's not pointed at Marty. - That's right, that's a nice closure. - That's a pasty man. (laughing) No, I, we're like, the white balance is off. (laughing) - It's gonna be a real justine. - That's funny. (laughing) - Pull my lights down a little bit. - And then my camera was on him, and they're like, "You look fatter." And I went, "Oh, that's the problem." So it turns out, I'm not even fat. - I'm just a wide angle. - It's been a wide angle. - A point five, this whole time? - Sick. - Turns out I really am just all in shape. That'd be, I just didn't know. - It's just been confusing through the winds this whole time. - Yeah, no, even at home, like, "Damn, these mirrors are, there's your dicks." Sorry, guys, what happened? Here we go. My co-host, Marty O'Neal. - Yo, yo, yo. - What's up? And then I said, "This camera, there I got distracted." That's what it is. Hi, welcome back to the podcast. Today is a solo episode. If you remember from two weeks ago, the solo episode is trying to figure out the guest episodes. We got Marty back at the table. A lot easier, a lot more convenient, a lot easier to throw joints or say hi. To have to go around the camera to say what's up to this guy. So we're back, we have a solo episode today. We were gonna have a guest episode. We were waiting for our guest for like 40 minutes, and Marty has been a vlogger since like, - I forgot. - He was like 16. Marty has vlogs of him growing up. All the way to now. It's really funny to see Marty's size 48 pants work. 'Cause the outfit, just what, you're like fabulous. - Okay, I'll take that. - It's just like fabulous. I like it. Or like an an-one mixtape. It's great. And then matching shoes. You match more back than you need to know. - That's a fact. - Yeah. - I used to really be on my show. - Me too. - I mean, I kind of am, but to like 20%. Like, I'll match to a point. But I used to be like, it used to be like. - Isn't that crazy? I don't, I thought, yes, she'd be like, I used to really care. Like, no, this jeans look cool. That looks cool. Let's do that. Yeah, yeah, wear that. Now I'm like, I'm adding a sailor and shit. I was wearing basketball shorts and a shirt again with some shoes that have somewhat of the same color. You know, I have hell of shoes and I need to stop mind shoes. They're all vans. They're all black and white. - I had all the jays to match the outfits. I remember this old lady in the cubicle I worked in one time. She's like, wow, you really go all out to come in here. Maybe you feel like an asshole and she's like, yeah, I guess I am kind of swagged off for this cubicle right now. - Better than looking like you, bitch. She's like, yeah, you're right. What a dick. You really go all out to make yourself look good in appearance. I'm old. That's what she wanted to say. - By the way, get my mixtape too. - Oh shit, I'll give it to my son. - Yeah. - Yeah, so we do your son. We had a guest and now we don't. So you know what that means? Zero fucking notes. So we're just gonna keep going and start talking about stuff. This weekend, I was in Las Vegas. It was super fun. Super sick. Shout out to anybody I met out there, shockingly enough. My little sister in 21. So we're like, hey, let's bring her to Vegas. She never been there. She wants to go. I was showing her how to play roulette. I put five dollars. I was like 25 bucks minimum, put five bucks on five numbers, see what you do. And then she's like, lost all her money. I was like, ah, all right. I'll try one hand. And I hit on my hand, I'm like, oh cool, got some chips back. Rocco was there. And John's in favorite numbers 11. We always been 11, like, ah, put five on 11. And it hit. I'm like, oh cool. Five times 36. Let's run it. Cool, I'll have five bucks. Sick. And then when you win, the chip stays. I hit 11 again. One it again, even though I didn't bet any money again. Five times 36 you got? You get 36 dollar. If you hit the number, you get 36 times your money. So you put a hundred bucks in 36 cents. 3600, you put a thousand, 36 cents. I didn't realize that. That's why the first time I ever played roulette, I put money on Chava on 22. He's like, put on 22 for me. I'm like, I got you. And I hit and she handed me this chips going, whoa. She gets 36 to one. I put 10 dollars on the one three and six dollars. I was like, no way. They got hooked. Anyway, 11 hit again. Three in a row. I've never seen that in the existence of all time gambling. Never. At number two, the pit boss walked over. Number three, they wanted me to leave. Like, you can't bet on that anymore. I'm like, you know what? I should have put more money on number three, because there's no way. How long should you put on at the second, third time? I'd never put any, at least the chip rise. If you win, you win again, back to back. It's like a thing for the, for the game. I'm like, damn, I just won three times. I mean, I bet five dollars, I won five hundred dollars. Damn. Pretty cool. And there another three, back to back to back. Anyway, I went to the No Down concert. Super cool. This is just listening to No Down a lot when I was a kid. And then she turned into Gwen Stefani, then I stopped. Just because I liked No Down music more than pop music. I'm not a big pop music person. She's like a better pink. Okay. Yeah, but she has an insane voice. Watching the shows like cool, the graphics cool, damn. She gets a third. Ass off still. Wow, dude. Anyway, concert was cool. I had to show a Josh Wolf. The past three sets, I've been going up and going, "Oh, I got this. I'm going to trip it. I can go over my set. Let's see if I can do it without it." And I go up there for the first series of things and go, "Oh." That's right, that's right, that's right. So this time, I was like three seconds in, I'm like, "Oh, shit." How do I start this again? I swear to God, at the beginning of the song, "Wait, what's the.?" There it is. I couldn't catch it. I said the first part of it. A nice hat, man. Hey, nice cap, man. I walked over and went, "Oh, my God." Oh, yeah. I was stalling for like a good three and a half second, which is not a long time, but for me, it is. I'm not comfortable in the silence this yet. I don't like it yet. What would you have done if you couldn't remember? How do you bring it? What do you do? I'm going to put it on my phone. My guys, I'm sorry. I've been smoking hash all day. We're back. That's what it been doing. Anyway, I get to the suit. I have a suicide bit part. You've seen it. And I went, "See how this goes?" Because I don't feel like they were going to feel it. I don't know why. And I said the first part, the Middle East years, and I went, "Yeah, it's just going about as good as I thought, because it was not a people." And then people were laughing like, "Yeah, that's, yeah." And I said the Asian part, not a peep. I said the black people. I even went, "I get ready. Black people." And I said the black people part. And I came here and I got some laughs and I went, "Yeah. You guys like this as much as Seattle does because they hated it." And then I got into the white people part and I was like, "Oh, you guys don't like this." And an audience? Yeah. And I got into the Mexican part and people laughed. Nobody knows history, I guess. Do you know that the Mayans used to sacrifice people to make the sun come out? All right, Marty, thank you. Half the people were like, "Huh?" I'm like, "Are you fucking stupid?" Man, he switched this bit because I guess you guys don't know history. And they didn't perfect the agriculture and they perfected the agriculture, not patients. That's fucking funny. I don't care who you are. That's true. I waited like two more hours a sun when it came out. That's the problem. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. They didn't like that. They didn't like that at all. I even made a point of saying like, "Yeah. I'm keeping it. I'm keeping that shit. I don't care if you guys don't like it." And I moved on to the next. The first thing Josh said when I got up, you're fearless. He was like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's like, "Yeah. You're fearless. That's good for you." I'm like, "Yeah. I knew they were going to like it. Fuck it. I like it." It's for that one guy laughing. I would be. And I did my. I fucking forgot a big piece of my last story, dude. I forgot one line. I talk about first time I got to see boobs. I was a kid. I thought the coolest thing I ever saw up to that point was the green ranger turning to the white ranger. So I was seeing boobs as way cool. It was like the whole thing. I forgot it. First set of boobs. Well, no. I mean, in public. I saw Posh's boob from Spice Girls, her whole boob. It's a quality boob right there. And I don't even say it in the bit because nobody's going to believe me. After I got to talking to my sister, the one that's a dick and never believes in anything and says, "I'm wrong." It's like, "Remember we saw her boo, we got. " You remember? I wasn't even going to mention it because you're always a dick. So yeah, we saw it. She had a base tail. Yeah. She had a base tail. Exactly. Like she remembers. Anyway. It was cool. It was fun. We met some cool people. Met the fan. A security guard. He showed up to the show. Shout out to you. It was a cool package. And yeah, it was cool. That was really it. I went to Vegas and didn't really get. I need some hobbies. Like, what do you like to do? Smoke weed. What else do you do? I don't know. Like Jetsky. Shit like that. I like that.
Yeah, that's a hobby like yeah, no, I want a I want a hobby I can do without a climb Say without risking my life Investigate streams like yeah, that's why people get stabbed murdered. I'm good. I call it cops Stopped him from hitting hitting his hooker like that's how you get that's how you get killed all the extracurricular white activities Yeah, Vegas is Vegas man, it's dead. It was completely dead do the race cars next time last farm Drive you go on the racetrack and they let you drive good, dude. I've seen it done my homies did it I mean they they whip you in it love a professional driver drive you around first. Oh do that. I Don't want to whip a 150 mile an hour car That's I don't own Because I know me if I own it. I'm gonna be like now. I'm not taking that quarter that fast. You know much I had to pay for this thing And over there like yeah and die You know like I've never taken a car that fast but let alone a car never drove I'm gonna go as fast as I can possibly go down the stretch than swear him on the brakes and do a horrible turn around the corner That's all I'm doing at the whole time Drifting barely not hitting the wall. Yeah, no NASCAR no matter how much marie doesn't like it. It's in his blood Did you see here? I'm gonna go as fast as I can and then skirt and I hit the wall It's NASCAR. I'm good Good, it's gonna look horrible not in like a cool type of way. It's gonna be like you want to join you and take devs I'll do a little bit of both Appreciate it. I wrote a little joint for our guest. I wrote this joint and you know my love. Oh, I Didn't start my detox because I don't know I know our guests gets higher than she's like I might come in I bet you want to start this morning. Oh Have a week. I need one solid week. I'm not smoking. I need it. I need it to happen Damien 300 episodes. We've only had four people stiff us Right we're just going over the numbers on that Yes, I think so we had a guest today. We had your best friends at Joliel We had chance the rapper. We can't give him another chance because he had four Four re-schedules that minute we're supposed to start It's tough. I can't let you just play with my time like that. I have shit to do And I can't remember the last person One more. Devon Haney. Yeah, yeah, he he's just never showed up We talked We had a set paper flights. That talk papers flight And then it was like hey dog Will you how about no Then just tell us no. Did you need a flight? I made some custom graphics kind of printed out Did you need a flight? Is that what it was? That's not good. You need me more money playing playing boxing. Even more money playing boxing, man And Rockley you totally feel free you can move. Okay Yeah, that's it. That's it. We haven't had that many guest flake, but you know, it is what it is. It's just fun. I'd rather All day. Oh, it's a shit and so So yeah, I'm good. That's fine with me. We try to get interesting people on here for you guys But you know, always down to run a solo out of moments. No. Oh, yeah I Didn't prepare for a solo. So you know, I usually have like a Top eight or two blah blah. Yeah, I didn't really prepare this time You were talking about the super famous dude. They got killed by the helicopter. Oh, that's so sad. The fall of a tree died It's so sad. We've had him on the guest wish list for five years Never once got a hold of his management. Nobody ever respond. I mean fools famous as shit. Still a fan I think it was like 2017 maybe 2018. Rock was a little kid and I showed him like you've heard of all of a tree And then you went to a show recently. Yeah Yeah, that was like eight years ago, man He's been hilarious since I remember the kid with the bull cut in the scooter. I'm like who the fuck is this kid? I like this guy and that was it He's been taking off ever since and it's just so sad because it no all of a tree passed away and Brazil helicopter crash What the fuck? Come on, man. So sad, dude like I'm a touristy type helicopter. I don't know I don't know Along with other people. Sorry along with other people passed away too a big youtuber from South America I don't know who I don't really follow youtubers, but so so damn sad dude just Anybody doing something with their life and trying and doing something different is like I want to loss Super sad and everybody that they help out and the trickles on to Really sad, dude. Did you watch UFC 250 you have see freedom? So You see an a deocracy or we just talk about it. Okay, we're so fucking close like I Did you watch the opening sequence of I only watched highlights on YouTube and I'll say We're such a joke in the world like every country must know we're fucking bitches Our presence tough like fucking bitches. Well, we're just fucking lame Us as a country is just fucking whack right now, dude like President makes us look bad. We look bad. Everything we do stupid There's so much corruption and now we're like hey fight on our most sacred land mark of the country The place that no one should ever step foot on Yeah, throw a fight right there. Yeah, throw a fight with a bunch of foreign news on our like what the fuck man It should have been all American fighters first off. I don't give a shit. You have see freedom. You have see freedom 250 She'd be fucking Americans right there fighting. I'm just being an asshole who cares if they're not Americans the thing that bugs me It's like The walkouts were inside like they were inside that felt like a fever dream It felt very weird. You could just be in the oval office Or like in the White House, but I have no shoes on You can be barefoot in the fucking White House, dude All right, that's this bullshit. You can't do that. You can't that that's They did a full to open it up. They did a full these motherfuckers walked. Oh, yeah full of mile Oh no, it was Trump and Dana White and this this is what made me at first I was like, oh, I don't like this at all this feels very creepy at first. I was like, oh this is just a big Ego session for this dude Literally a full walkout going through all the halls completely unnecessary Following them through all the fucking halls just to walk out like the fighters did Very very weird and just like I was like, oh, this is off-putting And then then I was like this kind of feels like some gilly-edged shit You know what I mean? Yes, when they zoomed it out and I was like, oh, this feels a little like gilly-ed but I will say as it went on The production value of it was fucking great. I'd ever seen it see it solid fights Just the production value of it the way they produced it was great the fact that they had 80,000 people Directly next door was insane because they had the stage But then at like a location directly adjacent to it It was like fucking woodstock Why would you go to that if you can't see the fight? I just go home watch it just to be there You gotta be a real I mean I mean I might say a real retarded to fucking show up and go oh stand on the lawn I can't see it's a bill shit and everybody's just on their phones watching the You got to be a real dumbass to pay $80 for a drink to go stand on the lawn So two dudes that run the country can go yeah We crushed it without lifting a finger But it was very much like I mean it's a seat. He did create a scenario where it's like gladiator times Or he gets to kind of sit back and watch these two dudes like fight to dumb physically That's what he was doing. Yeah The fuck you're right But it's some gladiator shit. We're just gonna sit back and watch at our home It's like gladiator part one. We'll fucking walk in Phoenix. You're right I just think it makes a little good makes us look real goofy. You're never gonna see another country go We're gonna throw a fucking fight on our lawn My Mexicans park there That's what makes it look stupid. You're gonna fight on it. Shit I would have liked it on the grass That would have been cool if they did it on the lawn. I mean I get it But you know they shot a guy from running into the lawn of the White House murdered him shot him on site and we're just fighting on it I don't care about pauses, but I can't wait for this shit to go away I can't wait for us to get back to this is the principle He knows more than you and he's running the shit and he's behind the scenes. He doesn't want to be all famous Yes, I'm fucking over it dude. I'm over it We need to restart these guys all the time you guys are supposed to be optimizing earth behind the scenes Social media reset dude. Yeah, we need it. I got to be right here ready I will gladly shut off my pages if we can reset the social media world Start again. I'll start again from zero. Fuck it if everyone could start again from zero That was weed out 60% of people going. I need to make
money. So I'm going to do most. All right, a lot of social media people make a social media account that do that. But they make footage. They make content and then sponsors come in. Cool. Most people go in like, I'm going to get these sponsors to make this content so I can make money. It's not you like doing social media. You like a business of social media which makes you do goofy, goofy, goofy, weird shit because money's first. I can't imagine that. I'll just work. I'll just go get another job if I if it didn't work. I was just getting the fucking job. I said that before we started. I'll work at Walmart. I don't give a fuck. I'll manage that bitch in like less than three years. The guy this guy knows how to read any back to the truck up and didn't hit anything. Well, he's the manager. Yeah, I'll just be the only competent motherfucker at Walmart because ask him about the fuck out wall over something and watch this. Oh, I can't chat. She beat you to that. I don't really know where that is. Maybe in that in the frozen food aisle. You ask for frozen food. Oh, I'm dumb. Why don't I ask that question? We're both dumb. The world is just so fucking stupid. I have, I'm not going to say who, but I have someone in my family that's kind of young. No, fuck that. My little brother, man. My little brother, dude. Not Rocco. What a fucking brother, dude. Well, Mexican, stop doing everything for your fucking kids. Mexican moms, not get off. This is a PSA. Stop serving your fucking kids when they're teenagers. Stop doing their laundry when they're teenagers. And stop babying them. Every fucking Mexican kid comes out fucking coddled. It doesn't know how to do shit because their fucking parents do what their moms do for them. My mom didn't. She's not even really messy. She's the Jewish side. That's why I'm like, I have to do everything myself. Fuck. Now she's still complaining because she's Jewish. She's always like my stomach hurts. Like, yeah, I know. I know. Stop being serial bitch. Fuck. Sorry. That was the other side of me. My little brother doesn't clean his room. Do his laundry. Are you used with your dad? Yeah, it doesn't do his laundry, which is fine. It's like, okay, okay. That's fine. Your baby. That's cool. We were at a fucking restaurant. And he had a steak and he's like, I'm not hungry. And then he got the most expensive fucking thing in the restaurant didn't finish it. I'm just looking at him. I'm like, I'm going to fucking hit you. You didn't want to eat anything. He's just gonna just get fries. Then you're like, actually, let me get the $75 steak. Like, fuck. All right. You want to try and I'll get it for you. Fuck her. But eat it. Didn't want to eat it. Anyway, grabs a knife like this. Spork. Fork in the steak, which is our cavemanish. This would be a lot easier to control. It's okay. You need a steak. Most vaccines don't need to stay. It's called carne asana. It's already flat. You don't really need. I never eat steak. Tells 22 years old. Never even seen it. F***ing impressions. Yeah. Got the knife on his fork on a steak knife. Started cutting it. I'm watching him like, there's no fucking way this is real. And he goes, it won't cut. Turn the fucking knife onto the blade, dude. Put the fucking blade down first. Like, I was so mad. Like, do you really not understand that the blade of the knife has to, that's what cuts. Oh, turn the knife. He was on the f***ing flat end of the knife. It's not working. Like the f***ing knife subside down. I think I was just raised. I was just raised by a person that didn't want to raise me. So I had to do everything myself. So I'm like, at five, let's do my lot. What is going on? That's what pissed me off. I'm like, how old are you? I was sitting there like so furious. Like, dad, what the f*** are you doing with him? It's just, I don't know why I just automate, get mad at them. Like, what are you doing? I'm genuinely furious. Even right now, I'm starting to get f***ing sweaty. And if f***ing it furious at me. How old is he? 14 years old, dude. To the knife over. He's going to be driving, actually. He's going to be f***ing on the road soon. Stop baving your f***ing kids and make them do stuff. Make them try. Make them attempt to think. Get them off the f***ing iPad. Stop giving your kids an iPad as it's the babysitter you lazy f***ing bitch. I see that shit everywhere I go. Talk to your kid. Do something. God. Jesus Christ, bro. It bugs me so bad watching it happen. It's like, no, not to my f***ing brother. It's not going to happen. Nope, that's why I'm on his ass every time I see him like, do that. Stop. Do you really think you can't do that on your own? Oh yeah, I could wait. I'm going to, I'm going to take your room. I'm going to take your room from you. Like, it's, it's a, I don't know, man. It's just, it's a fear, it's infuriating. It's like little things. It just bugs me. That's all right. Little things bug. I mean, I should bug you. If you saw your, if you saw camera, I don't get it. No, I'd bash my own head off the f***ing. Thank you. You're like, how did I fail? Well, where's I doing? That's what I would think. It just, it just. It's bullshit. Like, f***ing drain. No, they have like a severe disadvantage. They're like, we're like reverse evolving. Yes. Where their brains. It's like, the evolution stopped and it's going a little bit backwards now. I feel like as far as the generation goes, just trying to hire people. I was saying, you know, it is just like scrolling. Yeah. I mean, it was your brain. Yes, she has on my phone five four hours from 10 to two. Just taking dads. Rosie was kind of say she's laying there. So I'm just kind of like, at the end, I was like, mad. I was like, whoa, my head hurts. F***. And I felt like not an anxiety, but like, what the f***s I could do? I can't imagine being seven, right? Thinking that and feeling that. What it is is sad. Happy. Mad. Mad. Mad. Sad. Happy. Happy. Cool. Within one minute. Have you ever got in person, Marty, have you ever had someone make you super mad and make super sad and make you laugh at it then a minute? Probably not. Your brain's not supposed to fluctuate like that. Your hormones are spiking. And then you should spiking down. And then your aggression is going to, and then it's going to, it's like, it's like getting all the sodas at the machine and going, I can't taste the sprite. Like, yeah, that's all because it's f***ing mixed up. And that's like our motions and the brain, like, I feel like there are, you know, you get mad. You get this. You get that. You can see the worst thing you've ever seen. And you see a f***ing proposal. It's like, oh, that's all kind of meaningless. It was mob blurred. And then it's like, yeah, it's cool to see it. Yeah. People can shout out, it's all school shooting today. That used to be the talk forever. And now it's like, oh, another one. The country can't stop. What's the first? Yeah. So if you have kids, young kids, just do yourself a favor. Don't create a big mouth-breathing dummy. Don't let them be on the iPads all day. For coming from someone that doesn't have kids, I've watched this happen. I've seen it. I've gone through it. I have a little brothers and sisters and I've watched the differences in behavior when the iPads taken away. It drives f***ing kids insane. I promise you it's my uncle's kids do 24/7 iPads all day, every day. I watched my godson watching four hours of fans spinning. So he was watching your supposed to listen to that. Watching a fan spin that someone recorded and put on YouTube. He watched it for like an hour. That's some syrup. That's scary. That's like one of the kids in the movie where he's just drawing the syrup. It looks bad. He's drawing. Oh, f***! He's got a little bit of blood. Yeah, exactly. Dude, I'm telling you, man, you can turn into zombies with it. And it's not even the what you're watching. That phone is flashing every f***ing point two seconds. In your eyes, we were at a comedy show. They do a red light at night in the back once you can see like he in color and light and everyone's phone. Just flashing a million times a second. Everyone, you can see it. We took a video of it. It's insane. I wonder what that does to your brightness in your brain. It probably throws off your signals. You're a computer. You don't point a f***ing a red laser into your computer screen because you're like, it's gonna mess it up. You don't put a magnet on your TV. So f*** it up. That camera sounds great. That's what we're doing. Then so we're doing our brains, man, because I feel dumb after scrolling. I feel stupid. And then I'm like let's scroll for a little longer. Let's check out some more videos. Well, I have to get in front of our industry. Yes. Watch some shit. Done. Brain-wrotted. It's bad, dude. Yeah, we do. I'm restricted. It doesn't help that. I don't like watching videos knowing like just thinking about somebody made this just to get my views. I don't like like 10 hours of fireplace. I get a lot of suggested like videographer videos and it's just it's like almost like I'm just over it like it's too much. I don't. It's too many options. It's not anything that I actually want to watch. It's just you're making shit that you think the algorithm is going to want to pick up. So it's like not even what you wanted to make in the first place. You're just trying to reach this metric of views. But then it's like what do the views even mean? SoundCloud. Rappers. Yeah. Making music to make music to hop on a trend to hopefully get my
I need to hope you get music so you can ride the way. It's like bitches going to Bagros Club. If I'm ratchet enough and I fight, I could be Cardi B. What if I drop a song and I get a feature and I get a chain? Bitch, we don't want. - Coming from the rest of the earth. This is the most sexist shit you'll ever hear me say. Nobody wants a female rapper. I'm sorry, nobody wants to listen to a female rapper 'cause all you bitches talk about is Dick and then getting BBL and then Dick's and then getting a BBL and then cashing out with a scammer and then having sex with his brother and then getting his scammy money. All female rap that's pushed on the, sorry. Nobody wants a mainstream female rapper, I should say. All they do is talk about sex the whole fucking time. I don't know there'll be people in this conversation going, so new man, yeah, but there's more. Those guys suck. It's the other ones we care about. I want a fucking Lord Hill, right? That's what I want, I'll listen to that. That's an artist, that's not a female rapper. I'll show you just some rapper. It's the easiest way to go. She'll have an only fan soon. And it's so sad to say because the goal is, I'll just get kind of famous poppin' and I'll show my ass and do these stupid ass videos. Did you drop that? Oh, no, well, I fucking can't stand the fake only fan girl's videos. It's the worst thing I've ever seen. It's like fake porn scenarios on, why is this all my fucking algorithm? I don't want this. I have an Instagram. On Instagram, they just flood my shit with a bunch of, and look, I know only fans girls, they're cool, they're chill. I don't want your fake ass skits. (laughing) I don't want your fake skits, dude. Fake tits, okay. Fake skits not cool at all, dude. 'Cause it makes me feel like, do you think I'm dumb? And then I go, wow, million likes. There's a million dumb motherfuckers out there. You're fucking up for us, dude. You know what I mean? The lame ass, you're making us look bad by thinking, oh, the guys will like that. No dumb ass guys will like that. And the 13 year old that are watching your page will like it just because you're a girl. And like the thought process is like, well, the thought process of though these holes, yes. The thought process is, (laughing) he starts doing stupid shit on the internet. You make a real bad shit song. You get like an old school rapper that's no longer popping like soldier boy in music, but he's still relevant in the internet. And then you get like a blue face and then you go, hey, make a video of me. And then they fucking drop another song and then they go on a podcast and talk about some host shit. And then they try to go on a girl's podcast and talk about some other host shit. And then hopefully their streams go up and they make only fans. Thoughts process. Oh, damn. And I'm fucking wrong, you let me know. I don't think so. I don't think so either. I've watched this happen so many times. And you know what's crazy? I support, fully support the only fans. Because I know a lot of them do your shit. I've helped them when set shit up before. Or old homie. She was like, I'm a star of all events. I mean, all right, she did it and I went, can I help you sit for 10 minutes and I gave her all the steps. Like, do this, do this, do this, and that makes so much money. Like, yeah, don't do this fake stupid stupid shit. Just show your ass. Nobody wants to go, oh, dropped this. But nobody fucking wants to fake stupid shit. Just post it, bitch. I made her change her shit. I had her change a couple things and went, watch. This will help. I don't care what you make. Just do this with your stuff. She makes money. I've never been on OnlyFans. Is it like goofy TikTok content? I have no fucking. No, no, I'm only talking about Instagram, OnlyFansGirls. Sorry, I don't know about the website. I have no fucking idea. Sorry, I don't know what that idea is. Oh my god. OnlyFansGirls. OnlyFansModels. Not models. Not pornstars. OnlyFansGirls. That's a difference. Different. Pornstars are published. Matt Models are published. OnlyFansGirls, you could do from your house and you never have to publish anything. You could just have an OnlyFans which is totally cool. Make money. That's what I mean. She was doing that. She like does modeling stuff and tries. But like, that's what she was leaning towards. I thought I'd do more like pornstar stuff. And she did for a while. And she made a lot of money on it. But it's just, I have no problem with that too. If I go to strip clothes with Rosie, I don't give a fuck. I'm saying, you know what? I don't care about the obsc nudity. It's the dumb skits that drive me fucking crazy. I don't know what we're talking shit. Like it matters. No, it doesn't matter. I'm just talking shit to Marty, taking the deb. For any girls out there, my massage, shut the fuck up. If you were wondering if we thought these fucking skits were goofier or not, now you fucking-- That's all I care about at the end of the day. You skits are stupid. I see one OnlyFansGirl that I actually press like on this shit because my algorithm is so fucking stupid. How to make homemade Gatorade homemade this? How to get protein and then boom, I drop this. Like, bitch, who are you? I always put not interested. And it popped it. Fuck you. No, no, I love it. It's going to never take it back. You let me be. Fuck the algorithm, dude. It shows me the dumbest shit. Anyway, I feel like Instagram's chilled out. It totally has, man. Over the past eight months, I've gotten 70% less of the dumb debauchery shit that I don't care about. It's the fake shit. Or that don't flagging our polls today. It really haven't been. We haven't been doing them our stuff. Sure. But crazy shit, I mean. We stuff to go in there and manage that shit all day long. What's up, guys? Taking them on from the super, super structured and non-chaotic episode to talk about our sponsor. And that's Puffco. Bunch of new products. I just got some new colorways, and let me show you. Brand new Puffco Pivot. This is the Sapphire edition, OK? And you know, everything always matches. So coming in with the match in box, I can't tell you how many times this is coming handy, because it has everything I need in one little cap. So I take this, I take this, and that's all I need for the day. Also, coming in with the Sapphire Blue. This is the Puffco Peak. But look at this thing. Nice, that's color. Everything matches. Good job. This is like a powder soft to the touch Sapphire Blue. It looks great for all your needs. Check out everything they have to offer. PuffCon is coming up. I know it's a couple months away, but it's going to creep up on this faster than we think. Puffco Peak Sapphire Joystick Cap 3D Chamber. Fast USB-C charging, swappable glass top. You've probably seen on my Twitter or my Instagram, the custom tops. Yeah, it is fun. It's like hitting different rigs. You can just switch it up. And real-time temperature control. Guys, this is good as it gets until the Puffco Peak Pro. But this is the brand new Peaks from Puffco. Once again, thank you guys for supporting the sponsors that support us. Thank you to Puffco back to the episode. I'm not stupid. That's all. Like when people ask say something to entice you to ask them a question, don't do that to me. It's like my mom does that shit and it bugs the fuck out. You know what I'm saying? Like loft out of sentence. Ready? Here we go. Man, dude. Like, God, I wish it looked like this. I wish I didn't, I just wish it didn't feel this way. God, today would be so much better if that didn't happen. What happened? Just tell me what happened, bitch. I fucking hate that shit. I'm not stupid. Oh, I should ask, no, just tell me. I'll ignore my motherfucker doing that to me. Like, oh, that sucks. I wouldn't even say nothing. For sure. I drew that to my mom all the time. Like, oh man, I can't believe that happened. Nuts. Walk off. Don't give a fuck. Don't do that to me. Just say it. Don't beat around the bush to think like, I wanted this for-- Wait, trust me so you can-- You say this shit. So that's pretty much when it's like, dumb scared. Oh, my pants fell down like, don't do that to me, bitch. Just say you aren't only pants. Non-interested. Block. You see my block list? It's shocking. I'm tired of seeing those stupid asses. I don't block it, bitch. So, dudes, too. If I see a dumb ass get it, where I'm like, yo, the guy that shows around like a buffoon and fucking eats with a big mouth, I block that motherfucker so fast, I can't, I can't do the dumb shit. I don't get this goofy internet issue. Why do I get it so much? Because I'm liking stupid shit on TikTok, as my TikTok likes are fucking funny. It's just a goofy shit you've ever seen. But like, a lot of it's like Tweeters. I have a lot of Tweeter Talks fun. 'Cause you always got Twitter videos on Doc immediately. My Twitter shit's different. I just scroll, scroll, scroll. I'll pick a video that looks fucked up and scroll under it 'cause it starts to be related and I'll scroll till it gets away from the fucked up shit and it's kind of funny. My phone knows exactly what the fuck I want to see except for Instagram. I don't know why they do that to me. They feed me some shit that I do not care about. And why are we so talking about this, my man? Well, I'm sorry. I'm over here fucking granting you that pisses me off. Man, I can't believe that happened to me. Oh man, that's really sucks. Just tell me, man, I hate it. Sorry, I spit it again because it's so aggravating to listen to. But yeah, I hate when people do that shit to me and that's the equivalent of the internet. You know, fake skit. It's bad. Oh, yeah. It's only fans, girl, dude. I saw her do one video. I scrolled and when somebody coming out of the water, I'm like, what the fuck? And like, she went to go slam something and she went. You probably thought I was gonna slam that, huh? No, this is just an ad for my only fans. Go watch me be naked and go, yeah, bitch, there we go. Exactly. She's like, I have nothing to say. I'm just the only fans, girl.
I'm like, I am, I am dual leaf man. Just watch, click the fucking link. Like yeah, that's the way to get him. That's the way to get him. And you made me laugh. I like you. I'm not doing that, but fuck yeah, good for you. I'll give you a like bitch. Give you one little link. Hey man, it matters. Some people really care about that shit. And it helps. I'll get, what's your next dates? Ladies, if you wanna come out and support us, you almost hear talking shit about all these man's girls. Hey, and it is what it is. And all these man's girls are cool. Sorry before I say that, bring it shunned and canceled. It's the dumb bitches that I don't like. I'll be talking about this in full detail. My next set, it's 45 minutes to be sweating and going, what the fuck? I'd watch that actually. It's like Lewis, Lewis Black, but brown. Those fucking guys are gonna get it. Dan's like, I'm gonna call them. It's already passed. Okay. Should we sell them? Yeah, sorry, dopeasjola.com. dopeasjola.com for all tickets. My next show is June 25th at a place called Harvells. July 1st, I'm doing the Brea Improv. Two seconds. Biggest improv in the country. Brea Improv on July 1st. Check junior. July 19th, I think, or 18 to the 19th. Me, Jojo Garcia is doing his $10 ticket night again. The Colvinan Lafactory. It's 10 bucks, guys. $10 ticket, come on. Come watch the fucking comedy. It's really fun. Then July 30th, I'm in Houston, Texas. I'll be with OT, I'll be with Chuck. I'm gonna have all these fools come out to the show. I'll be with Jack Jr. in Houston, Texas, July 30th. I don't remember where it's at, but it's a live nation show. Come see the shit. Shout out to Jack Jr. Three shows of Jack Jr. Yep, you got some, I know David Lucas. We're supposed, oh, Rock 'n's Berthays this weekend. We're supposed to have two shows of David and they got rescheduled. So now I don't. So we're gonna go do Rock 'n's Berthays at my mom's. Where were they supposed to be? Baker's Field, Costa Mesa. Oh, yeah. So they just got rescheduled. That cancer just got rescheduled. So as of now, that's all the dates I have. I do, I'm not gonna get into everything, but I do have a little meat coming up very soon with somebody I want to meet with, finally. Like someone I'm excited like, he does what? Talks, don't talk to me. Let's grind it. I feel like we're Marty, DM me like, what's it work with me? Let's do it, fuck yeah. So I have a meeting with this movie director and I only want to say what movies they are, but my favorite's of all time. And you guys know what I'm talking about. We're just gonna leave it at that. My favorite guy ever. The director, that directs movies with him, hit me up or hit up somebody I know to come meet when I go, oh, it's supposed to go meet with Nas next week. I have a collab coming up with Nas. And while I'm there, we're supposed to link and talk about movie shit. Two second random fucking run it, dude. I'm down, that's sick. I was in the sauna and I was sitting there dying. I'm like, I'm gonna get into an Adam Sandler movie. It'll happen one day. I'm still working for it. I mean, I'm just trying to think things out loud guys and say them out loud because if this is that simulation they're talking about, that's just like a cheat code going up down left, right, rich, you know, say say things out loud like, I'm gonna get into an Adam Sandler movie. I don't know how, but I will and I'll be his connect. He's an old man trying to get back into the fucking weed game or something. I don't fucking know. I don't care or know. I just know that if you say things out loud and you work toward it, it'll happen. Try to do things every day that'll help it. It'll happen. I remember me and my uncle John, one day he's like, one day I'm gonna get paid to just drink beer and try it. I go, one day I'm gonna get paid to spoke weed and tell people how it was and grade it. Yeah, it goes the other way too. You gotta watch your words. I got power on you. That's why I don't say things out loud and I knock on wood a lot. You guys see me knock on wood all the time, it sucks. I have, for someone so high in calm, I have the worst OCD. You know, I don't even even talk about it. I have fucking horrible OCD. It sucks. I have to touch everything and even numbers or someone's gonna die. Why? Why is that in my head? Why does that go in your head? So something bad's gonna happen if you don't knock on wood right now. I get a lot of images in my head a lot of my friends dying all the time. People I know just dead. I have it. It flashes in my head and I'm like, fuck, no, no. And the one time, I was very superstitious. I used to wear this black Green Bay Packers beanie. I got from the liquor store every night to hold my hair back when I started growing my hair. I was like 14. And then I'm like, I have to wear it. I did it last night and everything turned out good today. So I need to wear it again. So nothing bad happens. Why? Why does that happen? That's been in my head since I was a little kid. I've been counting since, I'll talk about that after. I'm like, nah, nah, dude. Chill out. It's okay not to wear the fucking beanie. Do no one's gonna have nothing's gonna happen. I remember the beanie was on the ground and I'm like, it's fine. I woke up Michael John's friend fell into a migraine during the next day. Michael John's best friend died. Someone killed him, we've talked about it before. Nope, he's not tall enough to fall over that lit. It's just not possible. He fell into a fucking meager and died at work the next day. Literally the worst way you could possibly think of dying. And not even the grinder. He got into the grinder, but it was the shoots that pushed the meat into a tube. So he got broken down into a tube and lives through it and then died later. Come on man, that was fucking. And I remember when I heard it, I was in the room and I went in and I was crying and I was like, no. And I looked at the beanie and went, oh my God. It's the fucking beanie. And I remember like, I have to never not again. And I have not since I was 14. I will stop the car to knock on wood if I have to. And I don't know why. There's always something to feel better as a kid. I have weird OCD dude. When I first met Rosie, I was doing all this. She was like, what the fuck? And then from my birthday, she bought me a little block because of my keychain. It says knock on me and it was a little piece of real wood. So I didn't have to keep stopping because I would stop. I will stop the fucking car if I have to. To find some wood to knock on. I promise you, it's the weirdest shit that I got to the point where I'm like, knock on paper, at least it's part of a tree. 'Cause I got to stop fucking pulling over. It got to the point where I'm like, uh. I have no wood in the car. I swear to God, maybe it's 'cause I'm a weird ass kid but I've been doing this since I was like five. It's just dialed into your brain. God damn, always has been. Why? But I was right, Chris died the next day. What? While I was at school. Nah, come on, man. Because the next day, fuck. You can speak things into existence very easily and that's why you have to just go, nope, that's not true. That's not gonna happen. It's weird, dude. The power of thinking and speaking affirmatively is one of the biggest changes in my life. So speaking negatively could be one of the worst things in your life. If it goes one way, it goes the other. It's just the balance of life that has to. There's a God, there's a devil, there's evil, there's good. There's that, there's this. I promise you, dude, if you're out there and you feel that way, you're not, oh, you might be insane too, but I don't know. I don't, where did I get that from? I don't remember ever going like, this is the moment I need to start doing that. Like, I don't know. I can't even, if I test something, it has to be even numbers. You just set these rules in your head one day as a kid basically, like, do I do it right now? If I step on a crack, I have to step on two of them. 'Cause it's even, I promise. And the even thing came from Michael John when I was a little kid, he's like, stop putting on odd numbers on the TV and the volume, I go, why? It goes, some battle happened. Why? He said TV, my pop. Exploded. My fuck, dude. You're right numbers too. And that's when I started doing the fucking numbers, visually instead of just touching. What a weird, weird thing to have as a kid. It's still to this day. It's really annoying to do it. It's fucking, if you ever see me walk and I double step, it's that last even number. I do it. I did it right now. We're doing counting your steps. I count my steps everywhere I go. Do you guys like how you say it? My fuck. Even when I'm talking to people, I'm still counting my steps. Maybe some movers think we just count our steps every time we go anywhere from the truck to this from truck to that and so you know how many steps, in case you're carrying something heavy like, all right, 75. I'm there. It's just the thing we always used to do, but I've counted my steps as a kid. Just to make sure I lay down on an even number. Yeah, I'm already. While I'm having conversations and filming, it's still happening. The even number thing. Is there other things or is just the even number thing? Just numbers and thinking of things that are terrible and making them not happen. Sounds like a movie plot. It sucks dick cuts of the candy, looks at the beanie. The meat grinder. Bro, it's sad. It really happened too, which is the fucked part of it. Would you still be so locked in with it if that didn't happen? No. That's the first time in my life I was like, it's okay. And then someone literally died.
the worst way possible that I know, that I just smoked weed with the day before. God was like, it's not okay. Yeah, fuck. I think it was God's way of going, hey, be on your shit. Always know that something can happen. 'Cause I'm very cautious, you know what I mean? I'm fucking on them. High alert. You've been in my own house, which is the worst thing. I check my room every time I get home. I talk about it. I check every fucking corner in my room every time I get home. Most incidents or whatever happen at the house. Yeah, I just don't want to be chilling and go, fuck! And fools got me drunk. I'm like, oh, I got nothing! I'm done because you can't get out of that situation without getting shot. And people are weird. You never know. I've seen six cents. I don't want some weird motherfucker I used to work with. Or something. Show it my fucking house. People are good at technology. They just shut my ring off. Come in turn back on. Dude, I'm constantly paranoid because I used to be so weird. Like, always think it's. When I used to come in my house, I used to open my doors fast all the way. Like, in case some motherfuckers behind my door, I'm not even in the house. Like, just in case it bounces back like, oh, someone's back there. Oh, because someone's behind the door. It won't close all the way. It's like, open it all the way to the wall before I walk in. I mean, just to be cautious. Oh, in hotels, I walk in the middle. In case some motherfuckers chill in this door, when he tries to get my shit, dude. Things happen, man. I always make a walk in the middle because she's a girl. I was talking about this weekend because I showed Monica her friend. I'm like, walk in the middle. Why are you walking by the wall? What if a motherfucker opens his door and snatches you? And I grabbed Rosie and went, look, she works out all the time. What's she gonna do? I have one arm and this is all I'm doing and I'm on the phone. I'm not even that big. I just throw you my hotel room. You're fucking gone, which is very real. Scary, especially in Vegas, man. Well, yeah, when we were staying at the Stratton, they had the whole. They had their own SWAT team called their own cert team tactical force in the hotel because so many of you just were getting kidnapped out of there. I can imagine walking to your back to your room, a dude next to you waiting, waiting, waiting. Bam, not your Mexico. Gone. Gone. Drug you real quick, you wake up. Oh, she's fucked up. Walk right out with you. Could you imagine, guys, I'm gonna go downstairs to get something real quick, come back and you just gone forever? In full of full of cameras. Still gone forever. I mean, they'll know who took you, but that full is gone. Nah, it should scare you out here, dude. People get snatched up at the fucking grocery store and get robbed with the grocery stores we go to. There's a page called 818-something on TikTok. Instagram, Rosie follows it. This is show. People do weird scams all the time. The past, that powder that makes you dizzy and fall down. They put that shit on the inside of your door handles. So you're a touch your door handles, powder, getting locked doors. In a fucked or the dollar, when you pick up the dollar and it has fucking fend on it or the chloroform, people leave money on the. I've watched one of these videos. It was NLA. Lady gets out of her car and takes something off of her windshield because they put a note and right when you get to have some full fucking rag right through her face to snatch her up right there. Don't put baby on board stickers in your car. Well, the fuck is like, well, she has at least one to two kids I could snatch. People are weird. I've watched people like in these foreign countries like talking to a lady and then she's just like, "BAM!" snatch her kid. I have to like having a full conversation with you. Normal looking 30 year old lady and then right when she walks out, there's already a car open. BAM! She hops right in with your fucking kid. Nah, dude. Then my life's over because I have to now kill all of you. I fucking do the taking shit. Like, I'll die. Is the end of my life now? What the fuck? I generally don't know how parents go on from like, shall I? I don't. I don't ever want to know. I don't ever. I don't know us ever know because it's weird. I wouldn't be able to sleep every night. Every time I eat, I go, "What if they're not eating?" I'm eating. I can't do this. Nope. Done. I have to fucking find something else. Find the craziest gangster I've ever met to fucking walk my ass to wherever these people are. And then die in a shoot at like Walter White at the end as I watch my kid run off to the cops. Like, "Yep, this level was a good one. Like, when I get up there, they're gonna be like, "Damn dog, you went out sick." You're coming back as fucking Conor McGregor, dude. For real? Come on, I fucking. Like, yeah, that's you. Wow. You're gonna come back six foot five and that's like shit. But you're gonna be gay, so it's gonna be a weird life. Like fuck. I like girls. Like, you won't remember that once we send you back. And that's how the world works, I guess. You come back like, dude, you got 16 trophies and then you can trade those in for ability to jump in your next life. Okay. I like it. You have your deeds and intentions. Yep. Like, damn, dude, you're gonna live on a yacht. Not because you're homeless because you decided to do that today because you're gonna be a billionaires. I like it. I mean, that's karma, that's bullshit. Yeah, I believe it. And everybody that was real mean, like we said before, you're fucking the food guy in India. It's just fucking with the feet and the food, doing that crazy shit. That's you when you come back if you suck because that guy's just getting people sick constantly. What's his karma gonna be? An unrestricted clip, by the way. Yeah, unrestricted clip, dude. We had this guy like, it's Indian food vendor, man. It was AI though, right? That was AI, but there's a guy close to that. I mean, Rocco scene. That's why we brought that up. I thought it was so funny. Fuck, man. You just live in the Congo and you're a soldier. Like, that's the kind of life you get if you're a bad guy. I don't know. I don't know how the world works, but I know that much. What are we talking about unrestricted? Are we going to get into our little preview? Oh, yeah. Damn, this episode go. I don't know if I can mean mad about skits. And then people get kidnapped. What the hell's happening? I don't remember how he got here. So guys, real quick, there's a thing called dope as usual unrestricted. We're now in year, year and a half maybe. Like an episode. What? Almost a hundred. Yeah. Okay. So every single Friday, Margie, now, you see this, this podcast called dope as usual. It's on all platforms. Well, we have a website called dope as usual podcasts or dope as usual dot com. Either one of them working on the same page. Just in case somebody tried to be a dick, we got them both. Are you ready? Every single Friday, there's a new solo episode. Margie's in his, in his stream spot at his house. I'm in my stream spot at my house. We phone in. Looks great. And we watch. It's like ridiculousness. We watch, and it was coming to next. So what's about to see? It's a wild shit. This is in Brazil. But let's go. But we show you shit that sometimes it's like, oh, that was awesome. Oh, sometimes like there you, yeah, you're, you got to show that on your website. You can't show that on social media. I think I died or damn, look at this drug deal gone wrong or the we don't show murders anymore. We used to not be mindful of it and show the first 60 episodes. Graphic, graphic, graphic things. But I was just like, whoa, isn't that crazy? Yeah. And then we thought like, dude, no, who wants to watch people die on the happy weed show? You're right. One of my murders. Well, we'll show crazy shit. It's about 45 to an hour and 45 minutes. There's never a time. It's supposed to be about a half hour. The shortest one we ever do was 48 minutes the other day. And that was awesome. But it's used about an hour and a half. Anyway, an hour episode every single Friday, Marty and I, we can show the weed we're smoking, show the hash we're smoking, take dabs, fucking right then in there, get high, take bombers, because we're at our own houses. And not even that we're not on YouTube. It's all only on our website. So to watch these episodes, you got to sign up for dope as usual, unrestricted. It is $8 a month, $8 a month, four episodes a month. On top of the four episodes, one every Friday, there's a forum. We have an open chat in there. Drop questions. We go through the questions. Drop suggestions. There's a Q and A. There's a this tab. There's this tab. And there's a rate my reefer. What did you smoke in? Upload your weed. Show us your weed. We show it by Mark from Arkansas, smoking blue lobster, blah, blah, blah, blah, boom. And we rate it. Rate my reefer. We rate your fucking weed. I know people do full videos on YouTube about that. We just do it. It's part of the fucking, it's part of the world over there. And we'll do it on the show. We'll show it during the episode. It's fucking fun. But we can't show that stuff on YouTube. Most of the clips you can't show on YouTube anyway, because they're either graphic by the full of drugs, cussing a lot, or it is what it is. You already know YouTube. This is probably restricted now for smoking this very, very, very legal joint that I have in the comfort of our own fucking warehouse as I'm an adult. Even though it's legal here, we still get we still get trouble for this. So on our website, we can't because it's hours. We're going to flag ourselves. No. So what we're going to do right now is do a little snippet of unrestricted. We're going to go over these videos. If we have to blur them, we'll have to blur them because some of them might be bad. Some might be we're just showing you, man. This is usually ready. Boop. Box and box. Marty's above me. And I'm here at my house. And I'm spinning around in my chair. I'm taking dad's and Marty's taking dad's and our backgrounds look fun. Ready, go. First clip. This is a wrestler guy. I have no, I'll have it this unrestricted. Don't be usual podcast.com. Go sign up. Boom. First clip is a Hawaiian or Mexican wrestler. And
And I don't see another wrestler around, so I don't know why he did this to his own dick. Very weird, very weird clip. Go press play, Rocco, please. See, I haven't seen it. Oh! Right on his own dick! Look at his face. He's like that. Oh, he kicked that guy. Okay, he did kick that guy. He didn't see it. He didn't see it. He didn't see it. Look at him, he's like, my dick's not there anyway, look at him, he's not even hurt. He did kick that guy, but that was a straight dick shot. Right now, he should have shit his own balls out there. Yeah, I was supposed to be crying blood. He should have been crying blood, like, my bad, that's cool, man, not to mention a time on with that, but at the same time, he's crazy, he's going to die. Oh! Oh! That was all. That's the most brutal shot you've ever taken to the deck. What's the most brutal shot you've ever taken to the dick? You don't want to, I don't know. Oh, I got two of them. Fuck you, dick. I hated my quarterback in ninth grade. I was the center. I'd hike the ball. My quarterback was a little douchebag and then we became really good friends after we stopped playing together. And then now he's like a friend if I saw him, I'd be very excited. I haven't seen him in a long time, but he's the fucking man. Shout out to Nick Calvino, he's the man. He would smack me. I'm like, ah! We're playing! What the fuck? I got to get you the ball. You want to hurt me? What if I let this motherfucker in? I'm a let this fucking guy in, but I would never do that and look like I can't play, so I would never do that. I was just, I guess I'm getting the dick, I guess, you piece of shit. I get the hell out of it, dude. What the fuck are you doing? Ha ha ha. Like, all in the dick way? Yes! He was a little fucking asshole. And then during a game he did it, while we were playing against another team, like the other line was like, what the fuck? It wasn't like a go, he went, but it smacked the shit out of me and went, oh, what the fuck? It's actually gay at that point, it's very, very gay, I would never even, it was more annoying because he knows like, I was a kid that would get real mad, but I don't like hitting people. So it would like, it would be a lot for me to like hit you. And then during practice, while everybody was watching, I was long snapping. And I know he's calling the numbers, he's looking inside, I long snapped into him so hard, he started crying, hit him in the dick so fucking violently, long snap, I can like do the long snap with the two hands and spin it behind, I was a long snap, anyway, I snapped it, hit him so fucking hard, he dropped, I remember his mouth, he started crying and breathing deep. No one, I wasn't in trouble at all, every coach was watching and I went, fuck you, stop doing that shit to me and nobody said anything. He never did it again. That was it. Tell you got to do it, I tell my kids all the time, you got to stop that shit immediately. Yeah, no, it happened for like games, if I didn't know what to do and I was like, stop doing that shit dude, and quarterback's not allowed to do hitting drills. So I can't pop his ass. My thing is with me hitting drills, like that was my shut the fuck up because I was lower, I was always stronger than everybody and I would fucking wreck people, you said Vince Wilkins and this kid named Lou, fuck you guys man, only two people ever to just like, how are you stronger than me? Fuck you guys. They would run me over like I was a little boy and it hurt, I never got a stinger in my head until I got hit by this fucking full Vince and he would always pick me to hit because I was all the harder hitter and I'd like fucking stop hitting so hard, we're about to start playing, we're doing warm-ups and he would hit me so hard I'd kind of a throbbing stinger headache before we start every game and I'd be like, well you're giving me a fucking headache, stop, you're harder Mike, you're second string, fuck you, that's what I was thinking, like you're not even good, you're just big, I'm starter on every single thing, but kick offense defense like, go sit down, go sit down, I'm going to go hit, I would talk shit to Mike, hey, take your seat, second string right, I'm going to go play, I'm going to hit you like, yeah, but you're never going to hit anybody else and he was dog shit at the game, he would be the, who's our full back that would run standing up and get popped, I don't know, anyway I'm mad, I'm all mad now, yes I've been hitting the dick, Mark, fuck, pieces of shit dude, yeah it hurt, how did you hit the dick, Mark, the worst one was when I was playing lacrosse practice, you are white, holy shit, I stayed, we had basketball practice in lacrosse team, the lacrosse team came in afterwards and I was like, I'll try it, I'll play with you guys, I had no idea what I was doing, it was the lacrosse team, I had on, I put on the shoulder pads with my basketball jersey, you don't dumb, but I started playing defense like basketball, like this, I'm guarding the guy with the stick out, like I'm like guarding the basketball, bro, just point, blink, takes a shot directly to my balls, no cup, no sort of protection, just basketball, just thin and one night long, exactly, I dropped to the ground, I was like my dick's definitely bleeding, something horrible, I'm not having kids, and then I basically crawled to the fucking door of the gym, went out in the hallway, and that was the end of my lacrosse career. Nobody helped you out? No, that was like, I crawled into the hallway, there's no field in earth, on earth that's next to the hallway, you had to go in the basketball court. Oh, never mind, that makes it weird. I just imagine you crawling off a field through a parking lot to the school, like, there's far right, the field's always like, for kind of far, wow, buddy, I just, I just thought you'd like crawl, I don't know why I got the fuck out of there, I put the stick down and that was it, wow, and then you fucking was like, I'll do this, but only on frozen water. My eyes, hockey career was way before that, that was when I was a little kid, this wasn't high school and talking about, you know, it's funny, they went, I'm gonna knock the tin strap off this guy, I'm gonna knock his little beard off. - You shot my fucking dick off. - Marty's fucking crack, it's fucking crack, it's white motherfuckers, he just turned races against his own kind. - Right, that's one of all one stuff. - Yeah, he's like, fuck man, when did I get Jay's, I have just had Jay's on? Holy shit, that's what happened to you. - I already didn't belong. - One time, oh, one time, we rock was five, we had a mustache party. For some reason, Rockle likes mustache parties. Like everybody wear fake mustache. This weekend we're actually having a mustache party for Rockles birthday. My mom's mustache party. Oh, well, it's been a long time since I've seen a mustache party with Rockle. Okay. The last mustache party. We're water balloon fighting at a at a a my uncle john's and Rockle came around the corner full basketball guard. Hey, and I went to peg him with a balloon. I hit him so fucking hard in the dick. I didn't mean to. And it wasn't filled up enough, so it never popped. It just it was a full 40 80's basketball hard as I could. I hit Rockle and I saw it not break and I saw him just instantly. And he like almost started crying. And he started like tearing. Like, oh my god, I that's So he's hurt. I've never hurt him before. It was very shitty. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to pop like that throwing dumb and dumb when he hits him with a snowball way harder. I like put my leg up because he but he was like four feet away. Like my arm almost touched him. That's how close he was when I let go. Like it was bad. It was bad up this. There was fucking terrible actually. Anyway, that's all of our stories. Right. I guess the other time was I was probably like six or seven playing in the front of the neighbors. Yeah, right balls. Is that what I was doing balls six and seven balls? Maybe this girl got into some little fight or whatever. She was a best friend next to her. And she like, I don't know if we like pushed each other. Some shit. Or if we just like said something to each other, honky just boom. Her first thing is she just clean just kick me in the balls. And I just wipe black Mexican Puerto Rican black girl. Keep going. So I just collapsed. And then I didn't cry. I was like, in my mind, I'm like, my first ball kick. I ate that. I didn't see that coming at all. It's totally surprised. And then that was it. Marty, you're just jogging memories from me. So you said my neighbor. Oh, I have another story. I lived in Clovis, California. Our neighbor, black chick across sheet was mad ghetto ass lady. And her name was Shanane from Martin. Shanane. No, no, she's the next door to us. She had a daughter named Shanane. And this girl was good. Junior. Yes. She was cool. Honestly, when I think back, I think my dad was just being a racist and calling her a Shanane, because she look like, like Martin Lawrence, Shanane from Martin show all dumb and shit. She, she looked just like an
I loved Martin as a kid. So I'm like, is that really, you know, I'm three years old. I'm like, that's not her from TV. No, why am I dad saying it? She can't have another name. I'm a child. I only met one of each name. So I'm like, yeah, that's her name. She's the one from TV. Anyway, when we're almost like, that's not her, she's, that's her name. I'm like, oh, but thinking of it now, I think my dad was just being a racist. (laughs) - That has your name next door. 'Cause that's fucking funny. Anyway, she was cool. We always played. There was this little girl across the street. This little bitch, white girl, trailer trash bitch. Her family was trailer trash. We were fucking Mexican ghetto trash. These ones were black, black and ghetto people. It was just a whole smorgasbord of fucking failures, right? And with kids. And everybody ghetto was fucking. Everybody's 19 with all their kids. Like, fucking three, five year olds. Like, damn, this is the neighborhood, huh? But all of them had like a job McDonald's affording a house. So what does he say about the economy? First off, fuck, man. Everybody afforded the spot. This is the same street where my best friend jumped to me with his cousins, that story. When I was like, five for nothing. Oh, he kicked me, or I kicked him in the dick, nevermind. Anyway, sorry. Ice cream man always comes by. I go outside, if I have changed, and I'll give fucking stuff. I'm like four years old at this time. And the little girl across the street were all playing tag. And for some reason, like, we come around the corner, she just kicks me in the dick. Hard as fuck. It's high to go sick, bitch. When the fuck did that rule start? As everybody, she hit me with, it's how she tagged me. Oh, I was in. Yeah, I was in. Maybe she was trying to get me away from her not to tag her. She's a bitch. Yes, touched. She kicked me. Yes, she is. Technically, she is it. And then I told my mom, and I think my mom talked to her mom. Don't remember. I remember we were like, fuck that girl. Not playing with her anymore. Like weeks later, we're playing the games for kids. We're doing it again, and she bites me in the fucking arm and leaves me deep ass marks. And I remember being so fucking mad, I'm grabbing her hair like this. And I'm trying to pry her off my arm, and I'm crying, I'm fucking forward. I remember looking at her, seeing her teeth dig into my fucking arm. And I'm trying to rip her hair back. And I remember, she's like, just trying to hurt me. I don't know why. And then I was crying, I ran inside, and then my sister ran in, like, fucking a minute later. Say shit. She bit my sister. She was rubbing. All my mom, my mom did go across the street, though. And her mom was scared. I'll say that, 'cause what the fuck's wrong with your kid? Anyway, seventh grade, that was in Clovis. I'm in seventh grade. Mr. Mondo's class, this girl comes in, says her name, and I go, I know a bitch named that. You look like her. Go talk to her. It's the same fucking girl moved to her, said in my classroom, 10 years later. And I were looking, I go, did you use the lips? She goes, yeah, I go, do you remember? She goes, yeah, that's you, I go, me. Never talked to her again. Like, you stupid bitch, you're the one that's you bit me dumb ass. I'm the one you bit. That's all I remember, like, I'm old enough to fucking punch you in the face, but obviously you're a girl. So I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you my sister. I don't know, it was a trip, though. Like, you moved an hour away to my knee. Oh, yeah, we're all poor. We all live in the shit, poor ass. Okay, makes sense, this is the poor school. But it's like, wow, what are the odds? I just heard her name with, I know a bitch named that. That's all I remember, 'cause I never talked to her again after she bit me. Ever again, we never played again. I didn't, nope, I don't even talk to her. She would try to complain, like, get away from us. We wouldn't let her play with us at all. Ever again, she was all, fuck that. My mom even said, do not ever talk to her again. I'm like, yeah, I won't watch this shun happen. And then I shunned her bitch ass at school, too. Fuck her. I'll shun a motherfucker. Wow. So yes, I have been kicked into the balls for a week. Yo, eight. We just, I just talk a lot. It's okay. Well, it's a, what the fuck is one clip? Ah. Unrestrict is every Friday. Are you ready for clip two? Fuck. Marty. Oh, 'cause he hit his dick. Good question. I like that. That's why under strictures are so long, 'cause I will just talk forever. Okay, real quick. I've no desire to go into the ocean. Up to my knees. That's cool. That's fine. If I can see it, I've seen sharks get to the shore. If I get bit by a shark, we'll up to my knees. I will make an admission to go fucking murder sharks. I will go to Japan or wherever they killed dolphins. And I will fucking kill sharks in a tank with them. I don't give a fuck. If a shark takes my leg, that close to shore. It's called retaliation. That's bullshit. Anyway, I'll start taking fins off and just let them bleed out. Fuck sharks. Are you ready? I have no desire to go into the ocean. I have no desire to scuba dive. I don't want to go on a boat. I don't want to go underwater. I don't want to look at an old cave wreck or a ship wreck. I know how cool it is. Know how many reports of no sharks. Look at this fucking video and tell me, you want to go in the ocean to look in ship wrecks. What kind of Caucasian disease is this, dude? Go. Look what's coming at him, Marty. Look at the eel. Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, keep watching. Ah! It's not as big as I thought. I thought it was a monster. It's really not that big. It was just the angle of that tunnel. It looked like a dragon. He had to fucking plant a man in the mouth to stop it from attacking. The thing was just going to kill him. Not like, hey, let me get past you. I'm just going to fucking eat you, dude. Oh my God. Look at that thing. Ah! Come on. He grabbed it by the fucking jaw. The water's so much worse than earth. Like, yeah, we got lions and bears, but like, I've no lines around me as he eats me to death. Could you imagine drowning as you're dying? Like, both two? Fuck. Bleeding out. Bleeding out. And like, this is the worst. And I was going to find me. It was pretty sick looking. I mean, I think it was pretty fucking sick looking. I always say, people always say, dude, and I'll say it again. Marty clipped this for everyone out there. What are the odds of dying in an airplane better than way, way, less than a car accident. I can control the car asshole. Ready? What are the odds of getting bit by a shark? You know what the odds are? Coconut's more likely. Fuck you. Coconut's not going to eat me alive. The shark odds. If I told you, hey, man, at Griffith Park, there's a lion, but it's like, the odds are crazy that you're going to get bit. Are you still going to go to the park? Fuck no. So why are you getting in the ocean with a bunch of swimming lions? I don't have any desire. I've dodged gangbangers my whole life. I'm not going to get eaten by a fucking shark at the end of all this. So that's all you, dude. That's all I'm going to say. There's more room on the boat for you, because I'm never getting on it. Continue. Fuck you. Okay, hold on, press pause and go back. So real quick, I only show in this clip, because I think it's an insane, cool miracle. This guy says bye to Earth. All right, ready? This guy thinks he's going to die. His parachute does not open. First off, come on, our second parachute fucked up. So he's like catching some wind downs, but he's still going to fucking die, dude. And look what he says. Just read the captions. It's really sad. Okay. I'm dead. Goodbye. And fucking lives, lands in a thick of bushes and lives, dude. He lived. Damn. He just accepted death. He said, okay, I'm dead. Bye. Bro, you got to be more upset than that. Marry you. Thank you. That's when someone gets into the accident and gets out and she's like, for why aren't you. That's my shit. I'd be more upset. You know what I would say? I would say, I would be like, what would you say if that's on the way out? And you're like, it's going to be on camera. I'm going to leave. I'm going to say something funny. Fuck you, dude. Yeah, it's got to be something funny. Like, or a mystery like, I started Black Lives Matter, did he really? Wow. And then just throw everybody off or everybody will never know, because he's dead. Okay, I like that. Or something crazy. Mysterious. What if I sprinkle crack on myself? What the fuck already? I'm going to die then. I'm going to spit those little crack on me. You know, I'll be like, as I'm falling like, she wears underwears with dickholes in a bag. Hit the ground because you know, I wasn't like super sad on the way out. I accepted it. I had the mind to go, what's one of the funnier things in this life that I've seen? Yeah, she wears underwears with dickholes and it is definitely it. Nobody's going to get it, but still, that dude, that's, that's like my suicide bit. It's for you. Exactly. For the one guy laughing. Everybody else is mad at me, dude. You should see what I'm looking at. Bad faces. They cancel you for being transphobic and shut afterwards. They don't even fucking celebrate it because of it. Anyway, you got to say something funny. You have to, right? [BLANK_AUDIO]
Like light light just started crying in the last episode. What a bitch done. It's from a show. It's from it's from It's from a show an anime She what is it she nagami? That clip I sent you was fucking creepy. You should watch it. I Forgot what the fucking death note. Wow. I could not remember the name death note wild show anyway Burnt did you see the clip where they like have the Bungie jumper and they like walk her off and throw her over the In the same. Yes, all of her trees in the next morning in the same place So I saw what we did you know I saw it again. Wait, what the fuck is going on over there, man? Yeah, they just throw a girl off without connecting it. I think that was on purpose So only thing you got to do there's three guys and then you know that they all ran away immediately the workers Ran immediately had to helicopter to find one of them cut all of them. Oh Well, then I mean yeah, it's so sad Do they throw this girl like on a on a bungee thing and they throw her as a thrower? She just hits the floor and they all look at each other Not even like no just like a Full yeah, like you're not even sad You just killed this young ass girl. It was fucked up. She's Smacked the ground and dice. That's a clue. We were used to watching. Yes, we would have watched an unrestricted But I can't we can't do that no more dude because some people like y'all smoking a joint They just showed a guy get murdered. I don't know about this. Oh, you're you're right. You're right We're here you guys in the form. Yeah, we're the four also. I was in a zoo meeting with these guys as a commercial with He's like, yeah, I'm an unrestricted member by the way. Go shut the fuck up. It was Got you on the murders man. I go. Why? It was kind of a day bummer like bruise the dang old You know what you're right man. You're right. You know, I'll stop and that's when I said hey We should stop because of that real interact. He goes yeah, I chill on the murders Because sometimes we'll be like look at this game hanger. You just stand there 80 84s come out from Brazil or some crazy like whoa What did he do? It's just a crazy clip But we're like, yeah, you know what maybe we shouldn't watch that maybe we shouldn't show that to the world Let's just show some cooler shit like this guy throw his dick into the bars exactly next Oh warning distressing content. What is this? Okay, stop Speaking of the dick in the bars. I'm only showing this to show When I say you never know what can happen. This is what I mean this guy's working Marty. He's just working out at a warehouse He falls Falling from 20 30 feet no matter what sucks. Look where he lives. Go ahead. It's the worst thing you've ever seen in your fucking life Have you ever been hitting the balls Marty dick shot What's the worst dick spot? Dick shot you ever had that on his dick and leg He hit his dick and snapped his hip and half his hip look as hip snaps around That thing he's on a hand truck or like what would you say like a political pala jack? Yeah, the pala jack has the handle that goes up and stay stiff. He lands. I mean you can see what am I saying perfect place? Well, you got a press pause. You gotta see you got a press stop. Can we steal or burn that okay? Go back then. Fuck you dude. You can find the watch it that the News articles crotch first look He landed dick first that even that he definitely ruptured his ass Oh, yeah, his intestines are bruised his tables snapped Everything's broken you can see his hip snap. Do you see his hip where it's pushing out like his hip is broken Instagram watch press play Look at it on the ground. Oh Looking on the ground snapped when he picks it up Nothing that big thing kind of like it was I think he was working on the lights up top And that felt and he felt he should have been strapped in first off. You're always supposed to be oh my Well, what's the road that's almost as worse as the girl kicking me that's second worst, I think Oh my god We gotta start he hit him as your ass starts like he hit like in his ass crack his dick. It snapped his hip. Oh It's like he was like sitting down as he was following like some jackass thought see look at this from the lap from the Understricted we used to we showed a guy jump off a building to kill himself Lands ass first on a pole the pole goes through his entire body it is intestines and sticking into his neck mother fucker was alive For like 30 minutes and they're there they're going how do we get him off of the pole his ass sitting on the ground a Four-foot pole I got the thick parking poles are in his ass Rick was his entire body and it's poking out of like not poking out. It's about to push out of his neck remember and he's just like For real My life sucked That's why he did this like oh But now he walks this this guy got workers come up like he's crushing shit. He's never I don't need his ball anymore He didn't he none of you ruptured his balls right now. Oh for sure. It was fucking balls are gone Next clip Wow That was a bad one. Okay, we're good We might have to blur this because it is shooting Let me give you the breakdown This is in Pasadena, California not far from where we are Two cops are leaning up against their car as you can see and he goes hey just to mess around Points of gun at him which is the dumbest I've ever heard. Hey, what's up fellow coworker? It puts his gun away watch what happens The page called police incidents. That's a page. You don't want to be on like he goes hey Draws on his home. He's to fuck around the guy does the same thing from inside and fucking shoots him Fucking shoots it not even in his vest Rain is shoulder blade you can see him like ah He shoots the I bet you isn't a fired You I think they both get fucking fired honestly dude the first guy needs to be fired. Why are you bust out your gun? Stop dude, but you'll do that. They'll take away your gun period if you were to do that right at him If you're doing that just to be funny, they're taking your shit away. I'm pretty sure you know what it is They probably have a quick draw like thing between them So you know what I take it back cops you be horse playing. That's fun. Make cops keep doing that just don't shoot each other We need cops like that I put it away. That's a cop you want to save you because he at least like I'm fucking deadly with this I will fucking shoot that robber right now and maybe maybe they're good guys Maybe they got to get some trigger safety this other fucking guy though. God fucking trick I mean he really pointed at him put his finger on the trigger and Caught him right next to his vest. What if he hit him in the neck or the face or shit the balls We're on topic for this episode. This whole episode is called out my balls Theocracy this is the number one show in the world is out my balls and in theocracy We're fucking stupid the whole world is stupid now Continue Completely different video if you would have got his balls Okay, we might have to put this to because it's I'd be like animal protein, but it's not cruel because it was an accident I've never ever ever ever seen anything like this happen since Randy Johnson through that fastball and Killed that bird the butterfly the butterfly. Oh, when you kill It's so crazy going through that vlog going scammer scammer scammer. That guy's a scammer. That guy's a piece of shit That guy's gonna get killed by somebody that guy's a scammer. Wow the whole house of scam and motherfuckers man Randy Johnson if you don't know who he is He's a baseball player. He threw a fastball as a famous clip We throws a fastball and a bird happens to fly by and the ball hits the bird right before the batter And the bird just goes Every feather just explodes off this bird. There was a ton of amount of fastball birds dead. It just flips Dead on the field When I was a kid it blew my mind when they showed that show me his pn This is part two, but the even worse because it's like close it's sad this guy goes to do a tail slide and A fucking bird goes to land and he just kills it come on right on his neck What are the fucking the birds not even flappin? It's not even moving that bird was dead immediately you let it right on its head What are the odds of that dude come on all this man's body weight immediately all he needed was one second to bell on quarter quarter second quarter second middle second What are the odds that happens that that was like death by skateboarder that bird knew what he was doing here. You had enough No, I feel so bad. I shot a bird with a baby gun When I was in my grandma's to see if it would actually hurt it and it died. I haven't stopped thinking about it I was like fucking five. Yeah, I did that. Oh, I remember it on the ground go. Oh, he's dead He died because of me. What a terrible day, and then I just sounded like I'm not gonna ever shoot anything again Same time I never did I saw a magrus guy hit by a car while we were in Hawaii was The car in front of us it was the most violent horrible thing because then it did the thing where it just kept violently spending and spending and spinning
And I was just like a hoping I mean wasn't watching, but April saw it and she was like mortified But yeah, that was if you're a hit an animal before we get any of you ever hitting it with your car Don't no god bless like hitting dears as a real problem. Oh, yes, true. I was on a delivery one time smoke and bowls Drive with my knee like I do smoke and bowls Put the pipe down cars full of smoke Driving down Parsons if you don't remember said there's no sidewalk. It's kind of not country but it's about to get country So you know, just there's a mailbox in the road like right at the edge of the dirt Street street. There's like your yard touches the street kind of country. You've seen that And there's cars parked on the side so there's like you can't see this lawn right here And I'm driving not speeding at all because I'm smoking a button speed while I was actively smoking because Do one thing at a time And I don't know where I just see like a lawn color go what the fuck. Ah, it's a big ass lab He's under the fucking truck like trying to get something and he comes out and as he comes out, I just take him out smack his head Just his upper body hits my car. I slam my fucking brakes sideways. I hop out so I'm like no this dog And then I get out in the owner was trying to get him so he was like It was an old white man couple old couple like 70 years old biggest fuck white man Like oh that guy used to be a fighter or something. He's a big ass old The dog's just running in circles Running in circles like big circles like Weirdly big like fucking 40 yard circles. My come come over here And he finally gets it back and just starts to lay down and I'm like Oh, I'm over the guy's shoulder like I'm so fucking sorry and he's looking at me Serious and the wife's like it's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry. I didn't see it. It crawled into the truck He's like, we want fast recall goes like 30. It's like I wasn't even doing the speed limit And he was so mad that nothing I did was wrong. He was just like Huh cuz I'm like I didn't do anything wrong your fault. Why is he running under the truck in the street your fucking fault He knew it and I was like is it okay? He's like I don't know and I asked the case of case I don't know anyway I'm sorry man Okay, man, I'm gonna leave And I get to the delivery I look and there's so much fucking hair in my bumper Because it hit my bumper it flopped down and grabbed the hair And ripped hair out I sold the car with the hair and I could not get it out without taking the bumper off We tried my day. We tried prying it down. I got some of it out I cut what I could and the rest of it was just like slid under my My light where the bumper splits it hit and it went But like because so much weight so fast it opened it real quick It ripped it's hit dog is fine I don't know if it wasn't ever went back actually But I'd like to think he was for our purposes here today. He's I'd like to think he was fine I drive the joy there every day never saw it again though Not a good sign Not my fault, dude 80 pound dog big fucking dog like a Fucking big dog like the dog from full house big that's a big dog comment That's the first thing I thought was like oh my god looks just like comment. This is terrible and I were thinking like Do I get in trouble? I didn't do anything wrong. It's your fucking dog crawled under your truck as you're actually chasing him in the street Sounds like I'm the adult in this situation and you're just mad that I'm the adult in this situation I could just keep going he owed you for your damages. He fucked my bumper up, but I was like uh Don't care it popped it in and out so like quick so it just cracked like the fiberglass So looked shitty, but like it wasn't broken And I'm fine. I'm not gonna ask him to pay for my bumper. I just fucking might have killed his dog Let me go back to work and it was the day I covered someone's shift and I'm like oh man fuck Anyway Yeah, I've got hit in the balls before it is Oh, okay, so that was unrestricted but usually it's a little more fucked up. Sometimes we see some wild fights Motherfuckers can box across the world. We've seen some fools take out 10 guys no exaggeration Just beat the fuck out of people We don't show mercy much anymore, but that guy did kill his own balls and dick. That was insane I don't ever want to work where it's that high you mean so much earlier with hobbies none of them not one of them, dude It's been the dopest usual podcast a little light sample When we're sure oh, yeah, I'm a little restricted to end the show Picture lots more reading. Yeah, we can actually you're showing your read on there. We're Showing out our houses on shit. It's about a lot easier um So next week we'll come back with a guest episode we'll lock somebody in and have fun and do another Week of work. Remember guys. We're here to pass the time. I hope if you're at a warehouse job You just have your headphones in and now you're like oh shit About to go home soon. That's what it's all about every day Do you remember you ready to get Chong the only thing I think about all the time from any guests like you can't be sad living in the present Because it's happening now the past you might be regretting and the future you might be scared So live in the present you'll never be fucking mad or sad or anything away You know what you're right because if I think about having to go back to this fucking warehouse tomorrow I'm gonna lose my fucking mind Thinking about I have to go to work in four hours All I have to clock in a couple hours is depressing as fuck going I gotta do that shit again. Fuck All right, I gotta pass the time something and I that's why we're here This is I remember what it's like we're just talking about the obvious like the worst thing in the world I hate is a cubicle Say I had to do a cubicle yesterday for a what would you do? We're looking at cars looking at cars I do the DMV align the last time I went and went I'm fucking Hate this place nobody knows how to make a line At the airport they said group one Why all you lined up we're all gonna get on the plane It's a fucking crowding the shit or there's always a 90-year-old man. That's been flying forever. It's like yeah I'm gonna stand right here. I'm group four. I'm like you're in the fucking way And you cut everybody I don't know how the airlines can't get it right. I fly a lot. So I'm just like Yeah Anyway, um get shit right uh make time pass don't be a bitch Don't be a lazy bitch drive nice let a motherfucker in sometimes let him merge Don't be a dick if you get in road rage don't get out of the car because it's never gonna end good That's my other piece of advice You rarely get shot in a road rage incident without getting out of the car Motherfuckers are weird and wild and scared and can't fight. So you might get shot. So chill the fuck out Uh pay attention while you're driving this Is not enough to merge look over your fucking shoulder stop cutting me off Is what i'm saying look over your shoulder when you merge you're allowed to don't just look at your mirror. It's called a blind spot asshole I'm trying to teach you go to the dope is your old channel called how to fucking drive I did a video like that. It's called how to fucking drive and I show you how to drive if you don't have anybody in your life You can teach you how to drive. Do you remember that video? It's called how to fucking drive I made it because I was tired of people with Ellie not knowing how to drive and I was just getting a big falling Well, I need to teach people how to fucking drive. I guess If you have to make someone break you're an asshole So only pull out if you know you're not gonna have them to make anybody break Get into the flow of traffic You know what really grinds my gears. That's how I feel right now. Rockle just found the picture I really do have a video called how to fucking drive Guys somebody almost crashed into me within 30 seconds of that video Yes, thank you for being here as Marty would say just keep fucking doing it. You're at the top of mountain You're about to get there. It's another level with everything All the type of shit. All right, Marty is a long sleeve on you're not gonna listen to a white man a long sleeve If this is 1991 he might be the biggest music producer on the world look at this outfit You need a deal. Yeah, you need a deal Now you go to that guy Sean Puffy comes I've heard he he's dating Jennifer Lopez right now. I heard he does cool stuff That's how that's why it's 1991 He's not p. Did he yet references all right pay attention guys All right, that's it. I'm just talking shit at this point. Only vans girls make funny shit I suggest I'm not gonna buy it, but you might get more shit if you make funny shit stop being dumb and cringy. Just make fun shit um That's it I have no more advice stop leaving your kids in the car That's it. I'm your ties a satin ovan in a mall for three fucking hours Because my mom's like, stay I'm here. I'm actually I could just go Bitch, I don't know. I'm just talking shit at this point guys. Thank you for being here drive safe If you're listening to the show be careful. We haven't had a car accident in Two years you should get people. I was crashed my car. I was while I was in the show I'm happy it doesn't happen anymore. Thanks be safe tell them all the fucking friend to watch the show if you really like the show go to unrestricted it's well worth it I 100%. It's eight fucking dollars more. There's four new episodes a week. I mean
a month and all the cool shit. So thank you guys for being here. We appreciate you. Go to ethika.com. Fucking our collapse till there. Go follow Marty's Instagram. Marty made it. Thank you guys for being here. This has been The Dobies usual podcast from Marty and I. We want to say thank you for supporting our show. Thank you for being here. Drop a like. We appreciate you guys. Have a dope ass day.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The podcast hosts discuss a solo episode due to a guest cancellation, highlighting issues with guest reliability and scheduling.
They share personal anecdotes from a Vegas trip, including a surprising roulette win and a humorous misstep during a live performance.
The conversation touches on social media addiction, internet toxicity, and the dangers of over-reliance on platforms, while criticizing fake content and superficial trends.
Summary:
The Dope's Usual Podcast features a solo episode as planned after a guest cancellation, emphasizing the challenges of maintaining consistent guest appearances. The hosts recount an enjoyable trip to Las Vegas, where they play roulette and win multiple times, resulting in significant gains—highlighting both luck and the risks of poor financial decisions. They also share a personal story from a live performance where they forget key lines during a comedy set, underscoring the anxiety and pressure of live entertainment.
The episode delves into broader cultural issues, including how social media platforms exploit users with algorithm-driven content, especially fake OnlyFans skits and superficial trends that prioritize views over authenticity. Hosts critique the influence of internet culture, particularly the overexposure to bizarre, low-quality content and the detrimental effects of constant screen time. They express concern about how children are raised with excessive screen use and how this leads to poor life skills.
The discussion also touches on personal superstitions, including a strong belief in numbers and rituals, which stem from childhood trauma and a near-death experience involving a friend. The hosts reflect on how these fears have shaped their cautious, hyper-aware lifestyle—especially when it comes to safety in public spaces. They conclude by promoting a new series, "Dope As Usual Unrestricted," which features raw, unfiltered solo episodes showcasing chaotic and often shocking real-life moments, including dangerous situations and extreme internet trends, with a focus on authenticity over polish.
The episode ends with a strong call for critical thinking in media consumption and a personal commitment to mental well-being and self-reliance.
FAQs
The camera's white balance is thrown off because it's pointed at Marty instead of a neutral light source, causing the image to appear too white.
It's not due to weight gain, but because the wide-angle lens exaggerates the appearance of the subject, making them look larger than they actually are.
He visited a casino, played roulette, won several times, and attended a concert by No Down, where he shared personal experiences and reactions.
If you win, you receive 36 times your original bet, and the winning chip stays in play, allowing you to place another bet with the same amount.
He criticizes fake, overly sexualized content on platforms like OnlyFans and Instagram, saying it's insincere and driven by algorithms rather than authenticity.
He developed these habits as a child, influenced by personal experiences like a friend's death, and now maintains them as part of his cautious mindset.
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