Funny Over Everything! w/ Luenell

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom-scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Sorry. I said it was going to be wild. Not that, I mean, hey, these days. What's up, guys? Welcome back to the Dope As Usual podcast. My name is Thomas, Dope As Yolo, whatever you want to call me. This is my co-host, Marty O'Neill. What's up, guys? What's up, guys? Welcome back to the show. Today we have a special guest, actress, comedian, voice actress. Welcome, Lunell. Yeah, exactly what's going on right now. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Appreciate you. I mean, everybody knows who you are, and doing research about you, I didn't realize how much you've actually done, how much stuff you've been doing, and you're doing voice acting. How is that compared to having to clock in and be on camera? Voice acting is the dream. That's the goal, because you don't have to get dressed. You don't have to do makeup. You don't even have to memorize. It's good to be familiar. You know, I mean, you know, because you're doing voiceover acting, you're doing it to a visual, you know what I mean? And so, of course, any time you do ADR, which is like if you said something that was low, and you got to go back in the studio and say it a little louder, or when you're filming and they're going to change it from the movies to airline mode to TV mode, you have to change the fucks to darn, the darns to damn. Oh, wow. You know what I'm saying? You do those? Yeah. On TV, I always thought it was just some random dude doing those. No, no, no. In your own, like you're in a movie, and you say, get this fucking shit out of here in the movie. Then when they want to play it on the plane, they may not use the fucking shit out of here. They may use this doggone shit out of here. And you have to do that, too? Yeah, you have to do it a couple of times. Oh, so they do it right then. In case for TV, in case for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Prepped. Now, that's like non-stoner stuff. Or for animation, you have to act it to the cartoon, because it's usually a big screen, and you can see what you're. Like in Mrs. Doubtfire. It's voice acting. It's voice acting, but you don't have to be dressed up, and I like that. Yeah, getting paid to just talk, and not have to be on stage, hold a mic, or be on camera. Not just talk, you have to voice act. Like if your director says, you know, do this one more time, do it a little bit more aggressive, you have to be able to change that. So you're still doing it, but just nobody's looking at you. Yeah, and you don't have to get dressed up. Yeah, that's kind of awesome. For the third time. You do not have to get dressed up, which is great. Awesome. All right, I have another question. I did not realize you were. I'm from Merced, up north. Okay. Okay, and I know. Question is about Oakland. So growing up in Oakland, what happened to Oakland recently? I used to go there a lot, and now it just feels like everything's leaving. The sports are gone. They're taking all the sports teams. What happened, and what's the fix? I don't know, because I actually haven't lived in Oakland for over 20 years now. I was raised there, and the Oakland that I was raised in, is way different than the Oakland that it is now. And I don't know what the fix is, because, you know, every city wants to present their downtown as the mecca. This is great downtown. But the rest of the city, we're about to blighten the rest of the city. So I don't know if it starts in the political arena, or if it's just the people have gone to shit. You know, they don't have anything for kids to do in Oakland, and all the sports are gone, and it's like they sort of want to wipe it clean and start it all over again. That's what I said yesterday. You know, wipe it clean and start over. Because, honestly, San Francisco, for what, five years straight, was turning into the same thing. It is the same thing, and, you know, and the Tenderloin and stuff like that. Yeah, I was just there the other day. It's still bad. It's still bad, man. Yeah, it's like zombie town. Exactly. It's like watching Skid Row, except nobody cares. The Living Dead? No, not The Living Dead. Walking Dead. It's like The Walking Dead. Walking Dead in the Fillmore and stuff like that. You used to go down there as a kid, and, like, you have 40 bucks, but you can go hang out in San Francisco. And then now it's like, you're going to get robbed. You're not going to San Francisco. You're not going to drive, get your car broken into. I just don't know what the answer is. I think it's a change in leadership and put the money into good things. Yes. You know what I mean? Because if I can get, like, 30 Mexicans to go clean up a street, the government can provide us with some money to get 100 Mexicans to go clean up a street. Right. I'm just talking shit. We were talking about those sprints. Spencer Pratt AI videos about L.A. the other day. Did you see those? Please don't ask me about Spencer Pratt. Please. It's not. We don't have opinions. You mean the hills? Yeah, I didn't know the same guy. I had no idea. Oh, he was such a dick on the TV show, and he remained. You know, why would he not be a dick now? Why would we think that Spencer Pratt? Never mind. Me and Kathy Griffin, we'll talk about him. We talk about him. Done. Yeah. That's fair. All right. But yeah, his AI videos definitely made me go, it's possible. You can clean it up. All right. We'll see. Not you, but we'll see. Yeah, not me. It's possible. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you are working on, or you have dropped a lot of stuff recently, and the most recent was at Chappelle's home team? Yeah, home team. And then I saw that your last special was produced by Chappelle also, so you have this, I guess I would call it a run that hasn't stopped yet. How do you feel about this latest one? It's a lot shorter than a special. Yeah, it's like 23 minutes, 32 minutes, 32 minutes, which I don't know why. I thought it was going to be an hour, but whatever they say, I didn't get paid like it was 32 minutes, I'll tell you that. And I just was, I was real happy with it, though. Here you go, by the way. If you want to smoke that, feel free. Well, I don't mind if I do. Yeah, just to have Chappelle even know you, let alone produce something for you. Yeah. It was a flex, and I'm real happy about it. I think it was good. You seen it? I saw part of it. Me and Marty, what were we sitting here yesterday watching? Did you start it from the beginning? Of course. So remember when it started in the airport? So see, we had to fly to Atlanta, and that was an airplane simulator, and those were actors. So he paid extra people to even do my intro thing, you know? Two sec. Would it be too expensive to go to an airport? We did that, too, because the interiors, we had to buy, like, a ticket to just anywhere, just so we could get through security and go film inside. Here's a gorilla filmmaker. Oh, so you don't have to have a permit. Oh, that's. Oh, snap. Sounds way cheaper, man. That sounds like some shit we would do. What should I do? Yeah. I do, as long as your tripod's not on the ground in LA, you don't have to have a permit. Did you know that? What? As long as it's not on the ground? If you put the tripod on your foot, be like, I'm not on your property. Isn't that awesome? I don't know. Yeah, that's one little trick my homies taught me. That's some Hollywood shit. Yeah, isn't that cool? Mm-hmm. Have you been knowing Chappelle forever, or is that, like, a new relationship? It's not a new relationship. I've been knowing him for maybe about 10 years, but I didn't know that he knew me like that, you know? Mm-hmm. Got you. We met, actually, at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Sick. You know about that? No. Well, it's in Montreal. That's one of the, like, biggest ones, right? It's a comedy festival, and it's pretty lit, and I had went to go see him out there. And he noticed me then, but I didn't know. And then we ran into each other backstage at the, when Eddie Murphy went back to Saturday Night Live after, like, what, 25 years or something like that. We were there for that together, too. Then I just got a call and said, Chappelle wants you to come to Yellow Springs. This is during COVID. Because remember, he built that, um. Yes, I do remember that. Outdoor, uh. Arena theater in Ohio, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so. Did you perform there? Yeah. How was performing when the world shut down? Because we all thought the world was over. Collectively. Fuck that. How is it performing in front of a cornfield full of white folk? That's what was really a trip. Was it fun? It ended up being fun, but it was a little, like. Yeah. Sometimes you get those crowds, you're like, I hope this goes good. No, they're not. They, you know, they had to get used to him being there. And he's from there. This guy's got all the money, huh? Yeah, he done bought up the townhouse. This is amazing, by the way. Oh, it is. It's really great. Glad you're here. That's perfectly your kind of tour. Oh, yeah. Um, what's sweet? It's called Memberberry. Oh, that's kind of sweet. Memberberry. Oh, some South Park references. That sounds sexual. Could be, probably. He's been on the road for the past year, getting all the different types of raps. All the little raps. Yeah, just all the raps in. Yeah, just trying my best, trying it out. But you're from the Fed, so you started off with Good Weed. Oh, no, he's talking about doing. He's talking about comedy. comedy stuff I love that you know about Mercedes get weed because it does i know that it's just a place to all have you ever been booked in a humble no what no they pay you in weed like let's say you do a thirty five hundred dollar show you can get fifteen hundred dollars worth of weed and the other 15 that sounds and you're happy happy i just have so much weed i would definitely do that hey man can you give me like just pounds i'm gonna stop with the weed like i will go buy weed if i have weed just because i know i want to try it yeah yeah it's my it's my only hobby i stock up on it same yeah i have a refrigerator at my house that's like each shelf is a different thing what yeah like hash shelf edible shelf really jar show single no me and my wife smoke all fucking day yeah yeah that's amazing my partner ooh A soulmate oh yeah i better i better sell it or weed no kids they just sit around chilling running businesses that's an american love story right there yes thank you for real every other guest's like what are you doing with your life have a child what you got a bad bitch that he married that they got a weed connection and you know the kids they'll be there they'll come and they came up together live your life you so that's so lucky you got anybody saying anything other than they're just fucking hate you you you live in a dream you and your girl can do what you say there's been so many guests every single guest other than you was like no don't you should have kids now oh no they're fucked up they just want you to join in the same shithole life that they're living and all of them have eight kids that we've talked to so they're mexicans so there's oh well they'll be eight eventually yeah eventually uh but yeah i've been on the road like you said a bunch of white people that's fine i grew up around a lot of white people ish do you know this is it's gonna sound wild i don't i just gonna sound wild but i like the start of this i only let black people italians and mexicans in my house the white people come in my house are only workers sorry i'd i said it was gonna be wild not that i mean hey these days you can't trust the cable man they're gonna plant something but i vet everybody that comes to my house i just don't know how many i understand in l.a everybody comes to my house like a trap house but oh that's your sanctuary home that's different that's different right is it because they're white devils no i'm just kidding marty's blue eyes yes that's what i'm hearing is she trusts us to come in and do the job there we go trust us to come in and not get all buttered about it man like a quarter of me is all mad right now people that are watching out there the um uh a dope as usual fans this is not a racial slur this is all comedy and stuff like that but i mean what i said but i'm just saying this you know don't take it off it's a joke in the truth don't get all butthurt about it okay but you have to vet everybody i'm paranoid too because i bet everybody gets in my pool see i never owned a pool before and now that i own a pool and since we've been through covet i'm like why would i ever go back and get in the pool with 1500 peeing people who might have abscesses on their ass that water gonna get in my mouth why would i ever do that thank you but i can stay in my own pool and i know like the eight people who've been in here okay i you know now i get what you're saying totally i don't i mean you do that when you really ain't thinking about it but that was before kobe kobe changed you know my way of thinking a lot like the fact that we've gone back to the same nasty habits that we had before covet nobody is still doing 60 second hand watches they're not i never did 60 second hand you were supposed to waste of life quick ed billy jr would say it's a waste of water damn 60 seconds i have things to do i appreciate you saying that because i take a lot of shit from my wife for hating public pools i mean public pools sucked honey show her this segment yeah sweetheart it's a no she'll not let you back in the house right in your mouth i feel the same way about jacuzziing with people even worse because that bubble just came from the crack your ass and now it's right in your face okay so yes i searched my uh house it's i used to sell a lot of packs when i was younger and i always have i told him yesterday he always opened the door all the way first you've been to jail no because i'm good at it and this smile you don't think i have weed in the car right because you look so sweet oh hi there's so much weed but it's also a california thing yeah well oh so speaking of jail i didn't know it was considered bank robbing if you work there i heard your story technically called embezzlement oh but it sounds more gangster when you just say because in the end of the day it is bank robbery this episode is brought to you by state farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move another smart move getting help from one of state farm's 19 000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling just another way to save with the personal price plan prices are based on rating plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state uh so for our fans i've heard this story twice i just told it today okay there it is so you used to work at a bank you took some money and they're like hell this is embezzlement but it's technically bank robbery but you got away for so long yeah over 10 years if i hadn't took so much i would have just got away clean but because i took money to make it a felony instead of a misdemeanor it don't have no um statute of limitations so you can do something a felony at 22 and they can bust you for it at 89. because felonies never go away how'd they find you after 10 years because i had a baby i blame my daughter for this and i filed for the wick and the you know the milk and the program like that and the social security numbers crossed up and they came and got my ass oh they knew it was you that took it well yeah i mean i had already been convicted in court and they said when you come back to court the next time we're gonna it'll be for sentencing oh you just take it off oh i would have been speaking spanish by with i would have been left already like that i was a vapor they didn't catch me for how was a vapor is the new like i'm a ghost vapor vapor yeah see uh that's got me looking on my shoulder and you're still doing shows how is that possible every time you're on stages i was still doing shows and my name was in the paper and everything and i thought that maybe they're gonna bust me because i am just my picture in the paper you know the entertainment section when you used to get the newspaper but it wasn't it wasn't that it was my kid trying to feed her ass got me busted why would they just find you but hey she's in the paper because i had a sky did from long beach where i did it and came back to the bay area so i wasn't in the area no more oh they had to extradite me back oh super fun in the stains in the same state and you that you're brave i would have been gone i would live in new new well you're gonna do the same time if you shop lift a pack of gum as if you steal fifty thousand dollars i mean not like that but if you take one dollar out the bank or you take fifty thousand dollars out of the bank same thing for a hundred next time you should wear a big shirt that day next time okay so yeah i've heard that story just it just it sounds bring it up again it sounds fake honestly it's like a lot of my sounds fake it sounds crazy just just for the fact that i'm on the run in the same state my face is in the paper right you just don't have the balls to do it no i don't woman jail's way different than guy jail places i'll go to a woman's jail but yeah i have three to six open for any ladies all right bye yeah i'd be i'd be have all the commissary my do you want dick ramen and i had to learn about commerce hostess i'll be fat as fatter until you get commissary you can't get a real toothbrush so you gotta use county two but it's just big it's like you're fisting yourself trying to pressure me my mom dated or married to a cholo big old no no no no no you think you would think yeah you would think my mom did some white supremacist fool for like 12 years yeah yeah so i've been in the prisons every weekend for like 10 years straight so i know exactly what you made a white supremacist yeah she's a dummy she is yeah she is and she's jewish she's jewish she did it for spite she's confused she's very confused she's a race hater she hates someone she's jewish yeah and married a white supremacist excuse me well then she went through a phase where she's like i date only mexicans i'm gonna get a mexican tattoo and she's like now i date black guys i'm gonna get my nose pierced and this is this is different she's just i didn't say it i didn't say it what's she gonna beat me i didn't say it my mom's scared scary but she would never do that well she is i mean you know it was all hoes in the 70s i'll take accountability for my hoism that's fun that's cool she's multicultural i like that but not just white supremacists you don't have an influence on your mom you don't have a sit down on the bed like mom oh mom are you serious oh welcome welcome to the show i've had her on here i'm like hey you can't leave we're doing a we're i drank a fifth and we talked shit for five hours and i finally was like it was fun it was fun it's a good one it's a good one he taught me some spanish which is funny because these folks fluent spanish this is uh yeah yeah well you know what matter of fact we was talking about this yesterday you can be racist and still like black people of course like you can marry a black woman and still be a racist yeah isn't that crazy though in prison he was right he always told me in jail this is how i am out here you're my son you're brown my best friend's black his all my and he's like that's like my little son and i was like i'm confused i don't trust him i did he just likes drugs too much uh he was a good guy man like it was a very good guy in jail man you do what he had to do it was bad oh my god it was a weird story it's a it's weird but like have you had any counseling that's what dr drew said i'm chilling man i'm just asking no i'm chilling man okay you good i'm chilling you can call me if you ever need to talk to somebody this motherfucker that's right you got your you got your wifey yeah we're chilling i'm just yeah that's so cool they've been here like 20 years yeah i'm 20 15 yeah really that's so awesome when you get a homie like that you know my girl's my homie that's awesome exactly it is that's why i don't really hang out with anybody well that's cool i heard that look at you this bitch is hitting hard i had a adoptive brother that actually robbed a bank with a gun oh that's right oh marty's like no gun no no i i didn't have any of that marty has the opposite of my life yeah wow so yeah but he was like 17 so they were they were gonna give him like adult time but he only ended up doing three years i would love to what is the demographic of your show may i ask um every single thing you could think of every race every age group mostly guys oh yes it's a guy podcast it's mostly guys i'm not a female comic that just adheres to females because that alienates the man they get bored you're not talking to us i'm just here because my fucking wife wanted to see it i'm a female comic who wants to appease the guys too like i want five guys to come see me you know without their girlfriends you don't just because i'm that funny yeah and i have that i i i need more of that i saw your line in vegas there's a lot of guys too yeah yeah because i like guys um real quick what's up guys taking a quick break to talk about the sponsor this episode shout out to my bookie the world cup is still going on and if you like to bet this is the time because now it is lock of the season shout out to my bookie first goal scorer jackpot i'm gonna explain it five thousand dollar jackpot to opt in you have to place a qualifying wager to even be able to participate so the first goal scorer you got to bet at least five dollars this is a split jackpot whoever bets whoever gets it right you split it with them all the way up to five thousand it's like a big pool the prize is going to be free play and you can roll over one time argentina austria brazil and scotland i actually watched a scotland match uruguay and spain colombia and portugal is a south american showdown take advantage of the lock of the season with my bookie right now during the world cup it's not going to last long and i know it's the biggest event on earth so if it's the biggest event on earth and you like to gamble take advantage of it as usual on your first bet sign up if you've already signed up make your homie sign up and use their phone it's the world cup so remember if you want to bet on something on anything anytime anywhere use my bookie our code dope as usual shout out to my bookie who's your favorite artist out of out of the bay that you can think of rap artists any artists you don't have to be only a rap artist that's all i listened to as a kid so when i heard oh wow nice so many different genres of music so you gotta tell me all right let's go rap let's go rap first okay so probably he's been doing that shit for almost a half a century right but you know what can i just say can i just say that shout out to my man hammer uh i know everybody be sleeping on hammer they don't give him his motherfucking prop and yeah sure you know what's my favorite word but hammer put us on the map actually oakland mainstream and yeah and and and i just know him to be a good guy and you know he don't be a no-show but he's a good guy and he's a good guy and he's a good guy shit he got faulted because he's trying to put too many people on that was the only thing they could fault him for i've never been buzzed for no drug don't cheat on this bitch wife sorry and um you know so hammer too but then there's millions you know we got digital underground we got you know all kind of people from you'd be great to get on the show where's you getting mc hammer mc hammer does a give back in my town every year at the food bank see that's why i'm always like mc hammer's a man dude yeah you never hear bad things about him he had to i had to get up and let my sleep on the hammer now hell yeah let's get it started he's never come up on the show this whole time all these area discussions you're not wrong and you're right the only thing you ever heard he tried to help his family out too much but all his all his partners too yeah he's put him on the payroll man yeah but can i never he'll never do it again hopefully he pops off again with something else reality gets his own flavor of love or some shit he's already had all that can dude flavor look he married hey man i'm something but maybe he could i don't know maybe he could do something else i just like when motherfuckers pop back off that i like you know remember when flavor of love came back that's a whole new he started reality tv dating and now he's uh he's a ambassador for the olympics no yeah is he lighting the torch no but last last year like this year he's been all um about supporting the female basketball um team women's basketball and he was out there in the snow at the winter olympics um with the bobsledders and all that kind of stuff you don't know about foot no i did the house with your girl chilling and you don't even know what's going on i watched so much olympics and i'd never seen oh you're not fucking around let's go thank you very much he's morphing into spike lee right there what the fuck is that look at that picture of him the same guy for a minute very very involved with the olympics that's awesome and also a self-taught classical pianist did you know flavor of flame self-taught classical piano i know i did not know that don't fuck with me i know my stats all right one other thing you're doing um there's there's you have a such a long list of things but i'll get into this stuff that i'm hyped about okay my uh my favorite guy ever is adam sandler everybody knows that since i've been in the olympics i've been in the olympics since i was a child i've been watching him and somehow a newer adam sandler movie made my top list and that's that's my boy and the funniest scene that i crack up the most is when you try to drink juice upside down on the strip pole so and then you're i think you're eating a plate of eggs it's just a ridiculous fucking scene i've been hearing about this yeah i know exactly this is who i'm talking i brought the scene up before on the show okay so um what's that connection uh because that's a happy man is the connection is there going to be more and how was that well i've done three movies with adam madison but but the hotel transylvania one and two oh wow more voice acting it's a good movie too it really is good to get high and watch that i love it i love it i watch anything especially never mind but um uh the i don't know why i auditioned i auditioned i auditioned for that like three times or something we had um uh a double a double you know and we had to get uh fake boob um imprints and shit okay with the long ass tassels they were long as hell not tassels not nipples okay and nipples are fine they're not long but but yeah and then they had to get sewn into my lingerie stuff because it was just that crazy and then yeah i'd be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like i really did i was blowing orange juice out my nose for like a week oh that yeah you really i really did i mean you could is he pulling it out it's a great it's such a great scene dude i i just love the movie look at everybody that was in that movie though what i was talking about james james kahn for that movie we got rex ryan and who was the sorry who was the singer the boss what's his name again who the boss of of uh andy sandberg in that movie he's a singer what's his no orlando or tony orlando thank you and and and and and and andy sandberg andy sandberg vanilla ice is that age todd bridges and vanilla ice and sierra remember sierra played my daughter that was yeah yeah i've watched the movie a hundred times that's sierra blue damn dude i'm slipping that is her i haven't seen her forever damn she happy and out the way shit the fuck that sounds awesome. Like you, she happy now to way out the way dude if i didn't have social media you wouldn't know i lived i would just be at my house sneaking around doing shit hey that's fun it is fuck yeah i want to get a massage chair just like i sit there and do mushrooms or something i got a table yeah yeah i was thinking about buying one yes oh get one yeah then just have them as soon as coming to your house no i do because my back's fucked up but they have to lug their shit up every time they'd be cool if i just had it get it at your house all right my table sick get the heated adult shit dude it's so fucking cool we're bougie we're bougie it's so fun my massage table oh my god he got the sauna the massage table i bought it but i bought a cool little baby sauna it's fun though being able like you said i'm not trying to go to a jacuzzi with eight people i don't want to sweat around a bunch of dudes do a push-up to the sun i've done it guys in the jacuzzi thank you that's another thing i try to tell me is my wife it's funny you really do talk about that i don't want to be this i'm not going to take a bath with a dude i'm not getting a fucking jacuzzi a bath with a dude in public is really what you're doing multiple dudes the fuck out of here it's a little too cozy and i keep hearing russian this guy keeps speaking russian on his phone that's all i remember man yeah yeah i'm like being bougie now now that i'm older i'm like yeah yeah i'm not gonna stay at motel six do you have a gardener this episode is brought to you by state farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move another smart move getting help from one of state farm's 19 000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling just another way to save with the personal price plan prices are based on rating plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state yes and he's brown so he looks at me like that every time he says something spanish i'm like i'm sorry dog i don't know what you're saying man i'm sorry dude so disappointed he's so disappointed he's like your house this is your house huh no spanish huh no spanish huh yeah sick yeah yeah it's like weed like just fucking lola lawn dude i'm sorry it's not my fault it came with the spot yeah that that yeah i every time someone does something for me i'm like i'm a lazy bitch and then i go i'm an adult it's okay i got other things to do and then i go sit down well how old are you though not 36 you're a lazy bitch because i'm like w age and i don't have to i don't do as little as possible yeah i'm trying we i i just can't because i got you know we got a performance shit too you know i'm flying all this shit oh yeah no shit on my mind i feel you we just run a hell of businesses and like i will clean the toilet i will clean the toilet it's funny i did that shit at like four in the morning i looked at it waiting on nobody to do this we're gonna get this right now yeah i'll clean my house i will clean eight hours later i'm like i need to pay a motherfucker to do this i know i could have done so much downstairs thank you thank you it takes too long i'm good man i did as a kid because i didn't have shit to do now this is your job as a kid yeah it's called chores people make your kids do something thank you how do you feel about ipad kids it's it's a lot it's a lot i mean it's a double-edged sword because you don't want them to be glued to this fucking device but you do want them to sit down and shut the fuck up so she used to scream at me go watch the fucking tv don't move but all right here we are just reciting every movie i've ever seen because i'm fucking sat there for eight years straight yeah but can you recite uh fridays my daughter can recite the whole the whole movie from beginning to end yeah right no friday after next that's the one oh that's harder i watched friday she got that down times 110 yeah no um i have a weird memory so i can remember a lot of like stupid shit this one here yeah his memory is do you find crazy you can remember like the colors what you're wearing what the person's wearing do you have like that kind of shit yep me too it sucks it sucks because people like yo do you remember that like yeah i remember what i was doing when i heard that song for the first time i was driving right here it's always movies what people said what i was looking at when they said it it is but it's annoying because even the bad shit like i remember all that shit that shit sucked that's the only bad part about it yeah yeah yeah yeah because i have another youtube channel where i just i tell stories when i that's how i got my following and shit yeah and it's because i have stories every story you can think of really everything you ever i just done a lot of drugs before because i grew up in merced okay so like i'll be like math story crack story pcp story coke story mescaline story didn't you ever do mescaline it was the joy drug of my life it's my joy on his face what yes purple micro dot was the best thing that ever happened to me in the 70s i had so much fun i had so much fun the only thing that compares is mushroom but the purple micro dot was this color and there's a tiny tiny little powerful little pill oh we became friends right now my favorite drug is mescaline i love it so much trying to do a blob of nothing but i know i'm walking one time i did some mescaline and me and some friends and i don't do this shit we went up to a cabin in the snow and i sat in this chair right and and the fucking mescaline kicked in and i felt like if i let go of this chair i'm gonna shoot through the roof of this motherfucking house and i sat that chair gripped for like five hours i didn't get up and move i was like if i get up i'm gonna shoot straight through the motherfucking roof that's how high it was it was fine i don't do it now i would i'm not doing nothing now i'm smoking weed and drinking liquor because i don't trust nothing no mushrooms i love mushrooms well it grows i cannot tell a lie a mushroom is a vegetable is it not of course it's a fungi vegetable fun guy get it all right all right so if it grows you'll smoke it or drink it i like it what mushrooms um i'm scared to drink the mushroom syrup that i have oh and i got syrup sounds scary honey i'm scared i don't know how much you know oh i feel you so i've got it i'll just give it to a test that i know yeah and um but i do eat you know mushrooms yeah see but i don't take no i don't do no no no no cocaines no no weirdo pills nothing that could be hey i'm gonna kill you with this like oh yeah you're looking roulette i have too much shit to do to die no fuck i used to i mean did you used to do blow though oh yeah we've had a lot of discussions on this show about it like man i would spell my name out and then like over the course of half an hour and then over the course of like 30 40 minutes but done but like i don't know what it was like my mom and dad were both crank addicts my whole life oh my god so i think like i like drugs but stay away from me because i like yeah yeah yeah because i like but i also like not being a piece of shit loser so that's why i'm like oh absolutely i still gotta go to work we talked about this yesterday i still have to go to work so i can get fucked up to five and then i stop and go to work because i have to go work but i'm also on on cocaine at work which is fine for me at least i'm there doing my job great that's the fine line between living outside and living inside yeah a lot of my best friends live outside now like four of them right like outside they live under bridges and shit now yeah so it's very odd like looking at the drug because i always say hey you're not gonna go to work my mexican ass grandpa would shun me if i didn't work so i'm like no i'm not gonna be the embarrassment we're talking about we just talked about this so that's why i love cocaine but say i had like a gram i don't know what it was i would do like 0.4 under my tongue and then i'd snort like a 0.3 and i put the other 0.4 on my top teeth and then i just sit there for like 40 minutes like yeah it's just the shit right isn't it so fun i love bumming it more than anything you are a fool but you don't i mean you agree but of course because now see i was 70s cocaine cooler fun cocaine cocaine that makes you dance with the disco it was the cocaine and the disco so much cooler back then so much cooler so it was no drama it was like coke and let's go have fun and party that was it that's fucking awesome yeah it was great now it's like i bought it off some fucking tweak i don't even know what it's called sounds like molly in the 70s what molly was in the 2000s mdma no i never tried the molly no i don't know all that shit yeah oh for mescaline me and my wife we're best like we were really good friends for like a year and a half yeah and then her friend was sick we always hang out she's like monica's sick i'll just come over my yeah i don't friends come over we're just gonna be us she's like that's fine i go oh and i had just got 300 like 330 pills of mescaline for my homie because i was starting to sell them because i was selling some packs but i'll start selling that really right we took we're about seven pills deep each and we're sitting there on my couch and she's like hey I like you I go bitch for real I like you I didn't want to fuck this up and we've been together ever since but it was the mescaline I remember we were both melting we didn't sleep we drove to a concert that night all the way in Santa Cruz the next day I was up for two days of course you should have told this story at the wedding it's love for real that's a great love story that's fucking awesome but colors never look so cool that night I don't like to drive on it because the lights be fucking with me oh I never drove on it I was taking I think we did like fucking twelve that night each but she's damn weird like half half half half so you don't okay so before you joined your drug scene and when I was already in it there was also an era of barbiturates called black beauties that everybody what are those there were there were black capsule like a like a heard it in so many songs slick capsule not like an aspirin capsule it was a black capsule black and you could take this motherfucker and you could walk from here to the motherfucking bay bridge in San Francisco it was that much energy like I was slim you couldn't tell me shit when I was on the black beauty then they also had these things called cross tops wait till your audience starts writing about this they were bennies they called them bennies you could buy them by the jar and they were white and they had cross tops and you eat them bitches like skittles totally speed that shit was fun man wait till your people write in I need to know I need to I need the link and all that so I can look and see cause your people gonna be like oh dude I remember I love I love talking about drugs that are extinct but oh I was dead drugs that are extinct so like tie tie stick weed is extinct my homie can do that the tie stick you're talking about the it used to smell like candy you're talking about the strain oh the wrap yeah my homie does that my homie OG in East LA he's if it's gonna be close it'd be him okay I'll say I trust him with that tie stick was a wonderful thing they're called candy cigars now tie stick is like a product now they do weed over the course of like a week they compact compact compact put the hash compact compact it and it gets down for like five to six hours damn oh I get it man my homie's the one that brought it out I've only seen one like one time my wedding my homie wrote me a QP one we had a dab bar at my wedding nobody threw up nobody got too drunk nobody crashed got a DUI and I think that shit worked it's cause you couldn't smoke cause it was in the woods it was in the woods so you can't burn so I'm like dab bars I had like 30 different rig setups with a bunch of different stuff like with and y'all was in the woods yeah it was sick what's on you when's your birthday September what does that make you Virgo I don't know I don't know the ladies and the rocks and the astrology stuff me neither but my cousin does and she always wants to know she's a Virgo well I the only Virgo guys that I've known you can't tell them shit about shit cause they know everything about every goddamn thing that's all I know not you though baby yeah I don't know not you not you I don't know shit I know about weed and movies we learned what a Republican Democrat was on this show recently kind of two seasons ago we don't know shit I don't pay attention I sold drugs my whole life and have an American education so like did you see the Michael movie no is it cool is it bad you're leaving no we saw it we saw it okay cause I was about to leave the motherfucking building I saw it come to your house please I'll fix shit I swear to God I'll fix your ceiling no is it great is it good what do you think I don't know I haven't really seen see it no I haven't seen it it came out why okay cause you're not you're not okay I go to the movies a lot I'm not talking to you I'm talking to your people I'm talking to your people now you clearly are not of the age of Michael Obsession you didn't get it you don't get it you don't get it like no you can't get it like that no I understand it's just great music no because if you did there would be no way you didn't see the movie well usually they do people wrong and they're after post-humous movies so what no but the the temptations one was pretty good the state was over this they okay his children did and his nephew played him his nephew played Michael Michael's nephew played him it's your far you didn't know that his name's Jafar shut up no it's not Jafar his name's Jafar like the bad guy from Aladdin that's fucking crazy name to pick because he's like my age and if he's his nephew and that's like picking that's like oh what's your son's name oh his name's Putin like what the fuck are you doing out here man why would you pick Jafar Jafar that's this bad guy from Aladdin no he's Michael's nephew I love little Michael and he played listen go see the movie I'll watch it I'll go to the movies all the time it's streaming now I saw that last night it said pre-order last night yeah please watch that oh my god that's his nephew yes who didn't know that wow I don't pay attention to any news I don't watch anything you should see my feed it's just people this is how you lose weight as a fat piece of shit hey do you like this weed over and over that's my whole feed I used to watch how to lose weight videos while I was eating okay go figure he'd be like yeah I'm gonna do that tomorrow yeah I used to do Tybo with my mom Tybo I used to do it I was a fat little I was like why am I still fat Billy Blanks you weren't fucking cutting it dude and the P90X came out I don't like the trainers that are already in the shape this episode is brought to you by State Farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move another smart move getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling just another way to save with the personal price plan prices are based on rating plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state like why don't we do this together you fat fuck you know I want to see a trainer lose with me let me see it work you're all ready to fucking shape you want me to do what you do another one for your viewers I want to apply that to other things like yo I don't want a drug counselor I want a fucking meth head to get clean with me and we'll film it and make a YouTube channel level podcast apply it to other shit but sort of like that no I want a fat trainer that funds this shit I do damn it I want a trainer that doesn't look at their phone when I ask them a question about my back I'm like let me google it oh you don't know what you're talking about man that's when I have a shitty back so I'm like yo you don't know what you're doing about that accent well he should know about the muscles but hey don't do this move because that's gonna be straining your back my trainer now is the man it doesn't I look like I'm lying but I do I was fat here I'm trying hey I'm not here with you I'd like to lose a hot 60 but I think I'd look like I was on meth if I lost 60 maybe 40 how many pounds would you like to be down me like 130 I'm fat as shit it doesn't look like it guys but I weigh a lot I still love you that's fine she would love me as a buff guy too if I look at Mario Lopez I'd be like give me a fucking deal Colgate look at me man if I was buff as shit like Mario Lopez dude I got eHollywood news eHollywood news is mine soap operas are mine Mexican commercials are mine you're one six pack away from all this shit can you imagine how much money Mario Lopez makes because he's on every TV and every hotel a year oh yeah yes we had him on the show we talked about it yeah here yeah he's the man he is the muggy fucker he he he's everything every Mexican kid should look up to like you have a wife like you're not beating the shit out of her you're not drinking all day and smile smile you do jujitsu let's go on and you can fight he's a badass like he's cool I have his picture from colors signed in my office I printed it out he's like that was beer he didn't he didn't look like he he matched everybody else all down he's all pretty and shit with a bandana he's like Falco you a fool he circled back and got Thomas on his comedy shows and shit so that was cool I thought Laugh Factory right what's that the Mario Lopez comedy show oh yeah I did his show I did his show recently Laugh Factory yeah it's cool man I'm the only motherfucker going up there not speaking Spanish but it's it's cool I'm like hey for all these white people out here watch this I'm like you don't know who Rosie O'Donnell is don't you that's when I know the crowd I'll either say OGZ or Rosie O'Donnell for the certain reference cause I'm like there's enough white people yep Rosie O'Donnell worked that's cool gotta go yeah yeah no it's like we were talking about earlier you talked to an all white crowd is there ever a time you go out there and you're like oh this is hmm I can see this crowd is not my crowd but it always you're a professional a lot of crowds are not my crowd but I you have to win them - I make 'em my crowd because the stuff that I talk about is funny over everything you know funny over everything even if you're gonna talk about politics you've got to be funny yeah it's preachy and all that type of shit and um you know when i talk about like sags and relationships that covers every demographic yeah right so that's gay straight you know black white latin any anything like that so i in vegas especially i have a very diverse yes that's what the first thing i noticed is everybody oh little dab rig take dabs is this a gift do you i have one for if you want a gift for me oh yeah a warehouse full of gifts we got a duffel bag for you yeah oh my god wait do you take dabs at all uh no oh nope because you know what what happened so i went to a dispensary and i spun the wheel right and it's a one free dab you can't judge it off that no no i took a really big and hot i bet you it was hot and i was coughing i had to sit the fuck down drink some water this is technology this is not gonna do that this is apple of weed do you smoke hash ever in the weed i mean what are you trying to do to me uh we no no no no i'm just a regular daggler that's where i was joint girl i took bong rips all day that's cool i started dabbing a little bit you'll do bong rips huh did you do bong rips at all what's that you know what mescaline is you know what a bong is i know i i haven't done a bong in a while we should break out the six footer for i have a six footer i'm not doing it okay it's oh my god you're making my neck hurt just thinking about it oh my gosh but i'll be glad to watch you do it though oh yeah i was just packing it up in case you want to notice that i'll smoke you here in a minute okay okay um well i can't wait till this drops i'm gonna watch right yeah good good that was like 30 minutes ago i was asked this question then we got high and forgot crutch show you're on the show crutch there's another show called hacks um there's so many damn movie credits we talked about the adam sandler stuff there's now you're talking about imdb is endless it's it doesn't stop it just keeps going and i went i'm cherry picking because this is just too much you know we tried to uh keep my resume day try to keep my resume up today but i was doing so much shit so i'm just gonna do it i'm just gonna do it so fast because we stopped it's just it's just there's so much thank god for imdb because we gave up praise god for that though and i saw i'm just going over fucking headlines here that you was it a lingerie brand ambassador yeah for the rihanna what's is savage and fenty both her companies savage x fenty is a company oh that's the whole name i thought that was collaboration because i had a little x well fenty is her real last name rihanna's damn i gotta get balling up to her last name is just that's the fucking name my name sucks i think it's robin isn't it robin fenty that's a normal last name actually i gotta be honest that was gonna be something crazy yeah that's a pretty normal name dude yeah but she ain't normal she's everything she a billionaire right and and bad at that just i'll be ugly as fuck give me a billion dollars i don't care dude if i honestly if i had no you know what i do if i had a billion dollars here's what i do i would buy a gigantic house and one one room is a giant bounce house and i could just jump around and there's velcro walls oh no you can't get off the velcro wall i'll have an assistant there and he's big enough to go hey don't worry don't worry i'll hire the big show to work for me with a billion dollars and i'm like yo put your theme song on every time you pick me up i don't know what else would you do i put a go-kart i'd buy that moat for sure i'd buy the moat plane no oh what i'd rather drive you want well i mean of course you'll have a fleet of cars if you have a billion dollars yeah but don't you want a jet okay how about this if i can do a jet i get to pick the pilot and know that he has stuff to live for and he has no debts and then alcoholic background what was that what was that movie denzel was in he was that horrible flight that's what that was yeah that was a habit that made me really never want to fly again i already hated flying that was pretty traumatized i'm like i'm all set on these fucking pilots snakes on a plane did it for me man it didn't at all it was every other movie it was final destination that ruined my life did you see wolf of wall street yeah of course he saw the cocaine movie yeah of course it's a good movie it's more sasa movie man i have to watch that as a white lead what's this gonna be about never has a white lead i want to see what this is that shit was wow it was a good fucking that's one of my last favorite movies it was a good one it was a good one oh that thing was wow i was like this the whole time but also like i would do the same if i was in that position like yeah cocaine and we're gonna make a billion dollars and i'm gonna make a fucking a moat around my house i'm gonna go car just like i would say right back to it um sorry back to the crowds like you're telling you making your crowds i found this armenian crowds just don't like to laugh have you have you performed in front of armenians not a lot no not a lot i perform with a comedian jack jr he uh he's a king of armenians and i perform with him sometimes and i found out i found out they don't like me at all oh i'll go up there and go ahead fuck you guys jesus christ i've never seen so many fucking beards but you just delivered my fucking breeds dog fucking laugh for me please i tip to you because i swear to god they do not like to laugh and i asked him like what's up with it goes humor's new to them and i went i'm fucking doomed if that's what you just said right now how did you end up in that situation i keep going and performing with him just to i did netflix as a joke with him and all armenian crowd and thank god all the executives left because i was up there dying i looked around that bitch is slaying down on two chairs oh this is done and i got off with i'm fucking out here i just walked off like that was a terrible set and i just keep going to like harden my skin that's right that's right that's the worst feeling just no you know i used to fuck up a lot not not my comedy just fuck up a lot and um no matter what you do like i've been just fucked up a set like that and um and then like maybe your friends will escort your drunk ass out but no matter what you do or how long you take whenever you come back they'll be waiting for you you gotta go through that fire yeah you fucked up last time i see you know what i mean yeah you gotta go through it so you know just like you said you just keep going and i'll just keep doing it a group of old mexican women i'll never be scared again a bunch of grandmas fucking hating me a bunch of grandmas i will never ever be scared again dude well mexican ladies they don't like weed but they'll you could do coke and and they like yo you beat my ass for 80 years don't smoke weed that's like the the mexican mindset right like beat the shit out of me you're smoking weed no you're a fucking piece of shit take this mouth yeah smoke some meth first that's what it is i don't know but i i may as soon as i start talking about anything about any kind of drug they all just tuned out well why are you talking to hey i was so new to this like this is the only set i have this is my this is my 15 i'm working on it was like my seventh show my seventh time up i'm like i don't care what the crowd looks like i'm doing the same fucking set like i don't have another he got thrown in the deep water of his first shows was like comedy star life factor yeah it was like oh let's try this shit and i'm like all right and plus i don't want to fuck up i'm gonna do this shit i know it works it doesn't work everywhere well it doesn't work gotta read the room oh i read them and i went this one's fucking terrible you can't read no no i knew it was coming it's like i can dodge a sponge i'm not yeah but i'm gonna i can dodge it you got like 20 minutes now right so yeah i'm up to like my my 20 minutes it's like where i'm gonna see you at next where you gonna be you come back to vegas will be yes i'll be in vegas any any i go to vegas a lot so josh like come perform anytime yeah yeah um i got the brea improv in two weeks he does flappers also i saw yeah yeah and then covina you know that's what my podcast is you know that's what my podcast is you know that's what my podcast is he was telling me about that flappers i performed there once it was cool yeah i like the room i did it once a month last year and it was very successful but this year we're doing a different just like 15 minutes of comedy than i have on a guest and then we like um film in front of you know three cameras in front of the the flappers audience and um take questions from the audience and my first guest was kathy griffin that's the one i saw yeah so then i have an ex guest i can't tell you on the air who it's gonna be but i'll tell you when i get off nice and then um really big people and then i you know i'm gonna become a big radio star get my own show on iheart or on um serious xm or netflix or something like that spotify and i'll become a billionaire and i'll build a motherfucking moat too let's go bring it right back come on you can just fall asleep you're not going anywhere that's you're perfect for that that whole path everything you just said is like if you have to speak it out loud though yeah like you just did it'll happen know it it'll happen it will we're just talking about this too like as a as a host a whole new career path as a host basically yeah but it's when i've been doing all along for you like I'm seeing same muscle you need to see it on my just pull it up hey Lunel comedy podcast and you'll see it oh no he had it he had it brought up yeah and I know everybody's like you didn't ask about it I have to ask even though it's I know you've talked about it before I have to ask about Borat and obviously you get some wild roles I would say I would say but that was a genuine reaction correct like when you walked into that room oh yes okay everything was the thing about Borat I talked about it yesterday it's a gift that keeps on every day at least once a week somebody still talks to me about Borat and it's coming up on 20 years I think really so I would hope that I hope that they do like a retrospective or something like that you know I think we would know by now by now so I'm not going to do it but it was quite an experience you know and it's acting but it's more like theater performance street performance in public because no one else is in on it like it's kind of an odd thing to take in right for sure and I wanted to try to watch it about six months ago I put it on I got ten minutes in I was like I can't and I'm in the fucking movie and I was like I just can't watch it no crazy yes you're not crazy I love this episode is brought to you by State Farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move another smart move getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling just another way to save with the personal price plan prices are based on rating plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state the only the first bad mushroom trip I ever had we talked about it was Borat I started watching Borat no I was having a bad trip and I put on Borat because I was in my room tripping nobody was home and I had my blanket on and then he got onto the bus with those guys drinking beer and goes those guys are racist those guys are weird you know on mushrooms you're like hyper aware like that guy wants to say say shit and I got to where he put the bag over Pamela or he tried to bag her and I'm like that trip was gone and then I realized like I'm back and then I went outside I'm back yeah so that calmed me down that's the last first bad trip and he was trying to abduct Pamela ah yeah what a movie I don't know I do do a lot of wild shit though yeah yeah you have a lot of wild roles I would say in the in person roles but you auditioned for that you got picked because that's kind of like it's a mockumentary so is their audition separate or is it just on the fly the audition was just like it was Larry Charles who was the director who looks like a madman and is one and then Sasha and but see I had not seen Sasha outside of his Ali G shit I knew Sasha from Ali G so I didn't know what he looked like as a regular dude so I didn't know that was him with his accent yeah a little bit and so I auditioned for them but it was just like go in there and they'll tell you to do a just make up something that you know you're at a dinner party and you want to get out real bad and da da da da and then I don't know I got it next thing I know I was flying to Romania now imagine I'm leaving Crenshaw Boulevard to go to the airport to fly to Romania I'm like huh for the last goats for the scene of the village that village is real oh yeah you can tell by the looks of those people's faces that's their life yeah that's every time I feel ungrateful I'm like I could be living in India man you could be living in Kazakhstan I could be living somewhere where shit shit sucks worse yeah I can at least get high and watch something hilarious yeah okay so I have that's why I was wanting to do audition they go hey this same scene in front of real people sometimes it's kind of odd that sometimes they just pick me I was just talking about for Borat just what an odd thing to conceptualize like 20 years huh yeah come on damn time flies okay any of residency is every Sunday and Monday Sunday and Monday at 9 30 p.m. so many dates on the website it's ridiculous it's on my site I mean it's a never ending scroll yeah so where can people buy tickets because I know the residency is always there it's at Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club in Las Vegas by the big high roller Ferris wheel and you can go to heylunel.com which you'll beautiful website very well thank you thank you thank you heylunel.com you can get tickets you can get merchandise I have my own fragrance I have two nice legendary and iconic and I have t-shirts and yeah nice very well known awesome and then for all tickets do you have any anything big coming up that you want to talk about before we get out of here I got a couple of big things coming up but I can't talk about well that's always the best because you know it's huge if you can't even say it yet yeah that's when you know you have something going that's awesome yeah and but but right now I'm just excited about my podcast my comedy podcast which you must come through sometime Flappers every first Wednesday of the month but this next month it'll be on the 8th not the 1st so July 8th July 8th at Flappers in Burbank guys where we are Burbank August, September, October, November, and December and when do they drop online the the the tickets for Flappers are online now say it drops like you go like with a week within a week a week after we can watch online for everyone that can't make it watch the show yeah yeah yeah heylunel yeah heylunel comedy podcast nice so you're only one episode deep yeah and we already got like 48,000 views on there let's go alright well everybody you want to go watch with Kathy Griffin yeah I was watching her episode of Seinfeld last night I watch Seinfeld every night because I get high my baby daddy is obsessed with Seinfeld it's the best show it's the best show ever the whole ensemble is just I watch it every night on the projector on my bed so I have to move I just watch it and then I wake up and it's still on yeah every day of my life I could do that with I Love Lucy I could watch that was the most wholesome favorite show I've ever heard but that shit 30, 50 years later I'm still cracking the fuck up she's funny dude and to think behind the scenes she's dipping and dodging punching the whole time damn breaks my heart man and Ricky was hoeing around of course of course he was look at his look at him look at that guy he's got the Mario Lopez but like a right hook too just like Mario just like Mario actually yeah he's got no ground game like Mario I bet that those Cubans don't have the Mexican ground game Jiu Jitsu oh and they can follow me on Instagram if any y'all have Instagram at Lunell L-U-E-N-E-L-L in the description everything's always linked website and her Instagram it's so high tech oh we'll do it I mean I'm just hyper I just copy paste I'm terrible he does I'm terrible y'all was gonna have somebody who can do it the work you're allowed in my house yeah that's what I'm here for you can come in dude alright thank you so much for being here thanks for having me this has been super fun thank you so much Marty Lunell and I thank you guys have a dope ass day later oh you can perfect perfect yeah this is US Bank's Cozy Cashformations with your chief financial playmaker Fernando Mendoza you are worthy of financial security budgeting is not restriction it's freedom you are smart you are capable you are giving your money a purpose you are learning the language of saving of 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