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Meanwhile, we're being sold this book of lies that all of the happiness and the fulfillment and the lasting satisfaction that we're seeking is on the other side of the next purchase the next comfort that is just outside of our reach the next luxury good the next premium experience all of which of course promises to fill that hole in our spirit and we're happy to be happy consumers and chase those things the modern convenience is thinking that if we can make our life a little bit more comfortable a little bit more convenient by dint of mobile apps or premium goods that finally we will feel a sense of satisfaction and lasting happiness. Of course this never works at the same time we're also deluded that the hyper connected world that we live in is going to deliver a sense of connection. We've all experienced that it's quite the opposite the more tethered to our devices we are the more engaged in our doom scrolling that we become the more lonely alienated and isolated we feel and yet we continue to return to this well because these devices are very scientifically designed to light up our dopamine sensors and activate an addictive compulsive response that keeps us online. So that our technological overlords can continue to profit off of farming our data in the growing attention economy. Meanwhile there's a widening of the socio economic gap meaning that opportunities are more scarce than they have been in the past and then of course our fears are impulsed by our social media feeds that then lead us to even trust our relationships less drive us further apart as this increasing divide and division around our various opinions continues to escalate and metastasize while third spaces are continuing to disappear meaning that not only do we not know our neighbors anymore we actually don't really want to and so within that our community oriented spirit that has always been part and parcel of the American experiment seems to be degrading quite precipitously and with that we become more and more focused on ourselves what's important is what I want and how to get it and this self obsession while packaged in a way that makes us feel like pursuing it is going to purchase the happiness the real thing that we want the meaning the satisfaction the sense of our lives holding meaning all of this self obsession is actually antagonizing that goal the real goal finding true meaning and lasting happiness and satisfaction and the bottom line is that all of this self optimization this enhancement maxing all of this looks maxing these things are proxies for our self obsession these indulgences of self gratification that operate only on a surface level we tell ourselves that these are the things that are going to move our lives towards the things that we might only unconsciously be aware that we actually want which is this sense that like we matter my life has meaning I have purpose I have direction but the thing is all of those are oriented around what Arthur Brooks calls the three p's we make these decisions and we engage in these behaviors because we're on the chase for either power property or prestige these material pursuits that we are convinced even though we know better are going to get us the happiness and the satisfaction and the fulfillment that we want because once we get them then we will feel like we have transcended uncertainty the need for constant work and pain these are the three truths that Phil Stutz talks about unfortunately it never works we know this we keep doing it anyway what does actually work is disabusing ourselves of this delusion that the pursuit of these three p's is going to get us to the place that we really want to be the first thing we need to do is to realize that all of this me me me is antagonizing our goal and what we need to do is pursue another p and that p is purpose one of the ways to do that first of all is to understand what Arthur Brooks calls the three macro nutrients of happiness which are enjoyment satisfaction and meaning these are the things that we should be after we shouldn't chase happiness we should try to engage in behaviors that nourish us with those three macro nutrients so essentially what you're doing is you're broadening the aperture on your life you don't want to be swimming like a goldfish in a tiny little bowl you want to think more broadly and you want to start to consider how you're investing in behaviors and decisions that are actually going to drive your life in the direction that you want so that you don't feel despairing that you don't feel alone and that you don't feel like your life is lacking meaning and purpose so how do we do this well it boils down to some pretty basic shit the first thing you have to do is you have to do something different than what you have been doing if you keep doing what you've been doing you're going to get the same bullshit essentially what you have to do is you have to take a contrary action this is going to require you to get out of your comfort zone but you can make the lift very low what is one thing that you can do today maybe right now even that is different than the way you have always done things that will interrupt this pattern even if it's ever so slightly and something that you can repeat the next day and the next day after that something that you can sustain that is the action you should identify and take and it doesn't have to be some grand gesture you don't have to declare that you're setting some crazy goal or that you're quitting your job or that you're finally going to do something about your life maybe it's just not putting sugar in your coffee just some act of a steam building behavior that will engender your life with one grain of sand of self-esteem that you didn't have had you not taken it then you repeat that contrary action it's called next right action and then you build a muscle around that behavior sustaining it day after day until it becomes second nature and then you can turn the volume up on what your next contrary action is these are the building blocks of change it's the only way any change is ever made and it just boils down to these very basic elements repeatable you set yourself up for success by making it an easy lift and then you start to develop this reflex towards action that has nothing to do with how you feel about it because you know you are making an investment in your future self what you want is consistency and consistency buys you momentum and momentum is like this mystical spiritual energy that turns hard things into easy things it's like a wave that you can surf effortlessly that then engenders even more self-confidence more self-esteem to take that next step and handle that more difficult contrary action essentially you're assembling all the pieces to build this foundation for your new life and every day you're inching your life more and more in the trajectory of the more aspirate future self so what does this mean it means you got to get out of your comfort zone you got to put the fucking phone
down and you got a touch grass, be in nature, roll in the dirt, break a sweat, push hard things around, ask a boy or a girl out on a date, set yourself up for failure, experience failure, learn from it, approach life with a greater degree of curiosity, venture to parts unknown, and start to develop the confidence and the reflex to say yes to experiences you have historically and always just reflexively said no to. Your life is not going to happen the way you want it to unless you make the decisions and engage in the uncomfortable behaviors that are going to get you there. Nobody else is going to do it for you, you have to take responsibility for this because it's between you and you and you and you only have one life to live so really reflect on what you want that life to be and however impossible it may feel basically tripping out on the future and how unimaginable it is or how inaccessible it feels to you or reflecting upon your past and all the reasons why you're not going to be able to do that thing or the regret that you have about not making the decision that might have put you in a place better than where you are right now all of that is irrelevant. Your life is only happening in the present. The present is the only thing that's actually real and this moment is your only opportunity to actually do anything about it. All of these again are building blocks that are moving your life in the right direction that are allowing you to claw ever so slowly out of whatever despair and disaffectation and sense of disconnection that you're experiencing. This episode is brought to you by Momentus. Despite the fact that fiber is absolutely essential to optimal physiology, shockingly 90 to 95% of people are fiber deficient which is insane and also creates increased risk for all kinds of things including heart disease and colon cancer. But Momentus is here to save the day with their new fiber plus offering. It's a triple action formula. It's got soluble fiber. It's got insoluble fiber and it has resistant starch. So thank you Momentus for making fiber sexy and for instilling my trust because everything Momentus makes is sourced from the purest and highest grade ingredients. It's all rigorously tested and of course NSF certified for sport which is why it's the only brand I purchased and why it's trusted by tons of Olympic and professional athletes. So do your research but start with reading up on fiber plus and more on the Momentus website. You're going to want to upgrade and you can do that by going to livemomentus.com/richroll where you can use my code "richroll" for up to 35% off your first order. This episode is sponsored by Seed, this thing right here. If you have ever tried to fix your gut, you've probably run the gauntlet, a probiotic from the grocery store, powders, yogurts, whatever the internet's swore by that month. And if you're like most people, you waited a few weeks, you tried a bunch of things, you felt nothing, nothing changed, and you just kind of quietly gave up. But here's the part that nobody tells you. Most probiotics don't even survive digestion. And that's exactly why Seed sits apart and why I've trusted DSO1 for years, which is their premium product. DSO1 uses a capsule in capsule system, they call it Viacap. And what that means is basically the delivery system is designed specifically so that these 24 strains actually survive digestion and get delivered where they're meant to go. It's working at a deeper level targeting the root of daily digestion to stress instead of masking it. And that's really the difference between something that sounds good on a label and something that you actually feel. Ready to feel the difference? Here's what you're going to do, you're going to use my code "richroll25" for 25% off your first month of
[email protected]/richroll. These behaviors, these decisions around discomfort have to be oriented around a few fundamental pillars. Faith, family, friends, and meaningful work. What is your relationship with spirituality like? What is the quality of your relationships? Are you investing in your friends? As Arthur Brooks would say, your real friends, not your deal friends. Are you showing up for them? Are you stepping outside of your self obsession to invest in the people you care about, in your community, in meaningful work, in work, and in pursuits that are bigger than yourself, especially when that investment is inconvenient. It's not about making sure that your self-obsessions are intact. It's about putting them aside and learning how to be of service to other people. Again, especially when it's inconvenient, because that is what is going to give your life meaning and the quality of your relationships are going to dictate the degree to which you feel connected. And that disconnection, that despair, that loneliness that is being provoked by our digital devices and our consumerism culture and our addiction to comfort. These things can all be overcome by engaging with discomfort, allowing yourself to be inconvenienced and showing up for the people that you care about and that care about you and making sure that they feel seen and heard. And then, how are you being of service to your community, to your local community, to the world at large, to the people that you care about, the more service-oriented you approach your life, the more purpose, meaning, and fulfillment you're going to experience. And service, of course, is orthogonal to self-obsession. It's the self-obsession that is driving all of the despair. All of the cultural messages are around prioritizing your self-obsession. And I'm here to tell you, based on personal experience, that self-obsession is the enemy. The cure is service, in which you're making your life about something other than yourself. The more you can do that, I promise you, the more fulfilled you will feel, the more internally satisfied you will feel. And then, over time, this lends itself to getting some clarity on purpose and meaning. These are big, kind of like fuzzy, ephemeral words that I think are intimidating. Like, what's my purpose? Like, how do I get fulfillment? They seem impossible. And most people don't know what their purpose is. And I can say, you need a mission. Go get on a mission. And that will solve everything. But like, what are you supposed to do with that if you don't know what your mission is? And all I'm saying is you don't have to worry about any of those things. It boils down to these little contrary actions. Contrary actions designed to step outside of yourself in your self-obsession that are oriented around friends, family, work, faith, or things that are more important and bigger than yourself. What is one thing you can do today on behalf of another person? What is one thing you can do today that is self-less instead of selfish? What is one thing today that you can do that's going to make you a little bit uncomfortable? It might embarrass you or it might set you up for a failure. Can you say yes to that? If not, lower the volume on it a little bit until you can say yes, it's all about willingness. What are you willing to do? You can talk theoretically about these things. One day, I'm going to do this or next month, I'm going to do this challenge. I don't care about that. None of that means shit. All that matters is what are you doing right now? What are you going to do today? What are you going to be able to tell yourself when no one's around and your head hits the pillow tonight? Did you follow through on any of these things that I am talking about here today? If so, you're going to feel a little bit better about yourself than you did the night prior. And that's what I want for you. These are the things we build upon that seem insignificant and small and meaningless and somewhat trivial, but I promise you, when you build upon them day after day after day, the trajectory of your life starts to shift. And then suddenly, you might stumble upon a purpose or you might find a mission, a mission that you never would have even thought of otherwise or you might start to develop a relationship with purpose that you didn't know was possible. But it is the daily, tiny little things that you're doing every single day. So to still it down to the present, to these little bite-sized chunks, forget about the rest and just think about how do you want to feel when your head hits the pillow tonight? Did you live up to a promise that you made to yourself or did you let yourself down? What was the one contrary action you took that you couldn't take yesterday that you did today and allow yourself to feel good about that? And then tomorrow, we wake up and we build. What this is is fulfillment maxing. It is the opposite of looks maxing. Looks maxing is the pinnacle of self-obsession, fulfillment maxing.
requires focusing on the opposite of self-obsession. The selfless acts that you take on behalf of others and the world at large, that engender the self-esteem that you've always been searching for in these surface-level self-gratification behaviors. And herein lies a great irony by focusing on this on fulfillment maxing you're actually serving ultimate human performance optimization. So if this is the vernacular and the language that appeals to you, look at it this way as the white space. While everyone else is off looks maxing and enhancement maxing and engaging in all of the self-obsessive, self-gratifying surface-level behaviors, you're actually going where no one else is going, where there's no competition. By doubling down on fulfillment, on purpose, on what you have to do to get that long-term satisfaction, your performance as a human being, or whatever it is that you're like ambitiously chasing, that becomes more accessible. So it's actually, you could call it a life hack, I suppose. And I think it's part and parcel with this overall life philosophy that has served me well, which boils down to a phrase I like to repeat, which is the path of least resistance is actually volunteering for the most resistance. And this gets to the white space idea. So let me just explain it by a dent of example. When I was a young swimmer, I was pretty good, but there were plenty of kids that were much more talented than me. And that is why I decided to focus on the 200 meter butterfly, because that is an event notoriously painful that nobody else wanted to participate in. And I realized, oh, that's the white space. That's the place where there's the least amount of competition. And if I focus exclusively on that, that puts me in a better position to basically distinguish myself. And so in order to do that, I was volunteering for a heightened level of suffering because that's a very difficult race to train for. But by doing that, I succeeded and was able to distinguish myself in that event. And that was a lesson that I learned early on that I've applied later in my life. I think looking back, it's also why I decided to go into ultra endurance triathlon rather than Ironman. I realized like, oh, there's so many fewer competitors at the double Ironman distance than there are in the Ironman distance. Maybe if I go over here, it gives me a greater chance of distinguishing myself, of trying to kind of access my inter excellence. And I was able to do that. Then, same thing with podcasting, I started this podcast back in 2012. That was a period of time in which nobody thought you could make a living doing this. And it certainly wasn't cool. If you were to decide you were going to start a podcast back then, you were opening yourself up to ridicule of basically people being dismissive of you or making fun of you or just not taking you seriously. But that was the white space back then. There was very little competition. There weren't very many people doing it back then. And I had the foresight to see and to believe that it was going to grow into this bigger thing. And by jumping into it in that period of time in which there was close to no competition, I was able to distinguish myself early. And develop a foothold and build an audience before it became so crowded and saturated. And I have benefited as a result of that. So the point that I'm making is that in terms of thinking about our relationship with discomfort and how that connects with our aspirations for ourself, it's valuable to contextualize your relationship with discomfort in the context of resistance where is there a lot of resistance? And where there's a lot of resistance, there's going to be less competition, less participants. And generally, in my experience, when that white space matches up with something I'm curious about or feel a natural gravitation towards, I have developed a reflex to go in that direction. By welcoming that degree of heightened resistance into my life, I actually am setting myself up for a path of least resistance because it is there where nobody else is that you're going to be able to do your thing unfettered to grow, to evolve, to change, to fail, to learn, and to improve in a way that is setting you up to distinguish yourself. - This episode is brought to you by Freaks of Nature, the first and only all natural sunscreen that really gets it right, which to my mind makes it the best. 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Every once in a while, you witness something come into being that feels bigger than a product, and honestly, I gotta tell you, that is how go-browing feels to me personally, because a few years back, I spoke at this event in Illinois, it was called Go, and it was all about taking inspired action in your life. And I had no idea that something from that day would land so deeply with Joe, the founder of the event, or that it would eventually become the spark for his next mission, which is reimagining what social drinking could look like. What impresses me the most is how seriously the entire team at Go takes their craft. These guys spent years testing thousands of batches in their lab, and the results reflect that. They've received gold and silver medals at the Best of Craft beer awards in the past two years. Their lineup is thoughtful, it's distinctive. You can feel the intention in every can. The alcohol-free movement is officially here. I'm definitely and officially here for it. And now I think it's a great time for you to officially get into it, because if you go to gobrowing.com/richroll50, you, my friends, will get 50% off your first subscription order to Go Brewing's Beer Club. Gobrowing.com/richroll50 to get 50% off your first subscription order to Go Brewing's Beer Club. Just to be clear, I'm not saying that we shouldn't engage in these self-optimization behaviors. Like we all want to be better, and there are effective ways to behave in a way that's going to make us better. I'm just talking about when self-optimization becomes self-obsession. So these are two different things. What we don't want is a life that is oriented entirely around me, me, me, me. When we're just thinking about what we want and what we need, that comes at the cost of the things in life that are truly most important and meaningful. So fine to optimize, fine to basically be concerned about all the behaviors and decisions that are contributing to your well-being mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, et cetera. It's just the obsession part that you need to be aware of and be cautious of. Because as soon as you start making all of your decisions based upon what you want and what's important to you, you start to erode your capacity for empathy. And once you disconnect from empathy, then it becomes very difficult to have a happy life. You're not going to be able to connect with other humans like there's a cascade of consequences to that. And I think making the choice to inconvenience yourself, to invest yourself in other human beings, even when that causes incursions on your self-optimization routine, you have to be okay with that. Because these are the investments that basically pay off over the long term to give you what you're actually after. So many of these optimization protocols are on their face fine. But if you think that they are going to deliver you fulfillment, happiness, and purpose, they're not. They might make you healthier. They might improve your mood and your cognition, et cetera. But the real juice, all of that is underneath. And what you're doing on behalf of yourself isn't necessarily connected to those things.
These things require you to get outside of yourself to invest yourself in the larger pursuits of life, the more selfless and community and connection-oriented pursuits. The ultimate self-optimization is self-mastery. And self-mastery means developing the capacity to emotionally self-regulate, to basically make the best decisions and engage in the behaviors that are going to move your life in the direction that you want it to move. And that means that you have to say no to a lot of stuff. You have to know how to put the phone down. You have to know how to pick up a book and read it. You have to know how to commit to doing hard things and following through and being a responsible member of society. Self-mastery means you are in charge of your universe, your body. Self-mastery is essentially the discipline to say no to all of the things that are driving this despair, this loneliness, this sense of disaffectation, and the emotional disconnection that so many people are experiencing. Self-mastery says no, we don't pick up the phone, we pick up the book. Self-mastery says no, I'm not going to sit on the couch and eat the hot pocket. I'm going to get up and go outside and do that hard thing that I know is necessary to drive my life in the direction of my goal. Self-mastery says I cannot sit in my own self-obsession, I need to go outside and be of service to somebody else. Self-mastery says relationships are important, and I am going to invest in them even when it's inconvenient. Self-mastery says family is central and asks us to ask ourselves, how are we showing up for hours? Just in terms of how all of this is working for me right now, I mean this is why I get up at 4 o'clock in the morning every day. This is the only time of the day that I have available to myself to focus on restoring my body and repairing it in the wake of this surgery to get strong again, to get fit again. It's inconvenient. I don't want to do it at 4 o'clock in the morning. I would like to sleep in or I have other things that I would like to be doing late at night that compromise my ability to wake up that early. But I make this decision every single day to show up for myself in this way. Another example, I'm in the middle of writing this book right now. First of all, the only reason I'm writing this book is because it scares a shit out of me and because I didn't think that I could do it. It's so intimidating. What I'm attempting to do right now. And that scareiness was the impulse that told me that I needed to do it. It's inconvenient. I don't want to be doing this right now. I have a full-time job. My kids are home from school for the summer. There are lots of things that I would like to be doing right now. But I have committed to this book and I need to see it through. And I'm engaged in this very uncomfortable process of grappling with my limitations as a writer. But that, again, is the grist for growth and this is why I'm doing it. Here's another one. My parents are aging. My mother has dementia. She's in a memory care unit. My father has decided to join her. And he needed help moving. So I flew to Washington, DC and basically helped out for a handful of days. At a moment in time that was not just inconvenient but very disruptive to my life. It interfered with this book deadline and all these professional responsibilities and family responsibilities that I have. But this is what life is about. There was nothing more important than me showing up for my dad in that moment. And I look back on that and I'm so grateful that I had the awareness to make that decision to make that choice. And it might seem like an obvious one. But I think there's lots of moments in my life and maybe in yours where you knew what the right thing to do was but there were just too many pressures and other things pulling on your time and your attention, responsibilities, etc. That made you decline to show up for those opportunities. And I just know that I want to look back on my life and know that for seminal moments like that, important things that I showed up to honor them. And one other aspect about self mastery that I think is important to really reflect on is how are your actions counteracting whatever negative intermodal log you're inhabiting? So what is the story you're telling yourself about who you are, what you're capable of, what you can and you can't do? And what is the relationship between your actions and your behavior with that monologue? And so every day, because I have a very robust negative intermodal log, I'm very focused on the actions that I'm taking that defy it. And the more that I take those actions, the more mute my intermodal log becomes. I don't think it's ever going to go away, but I like to think of it the way Elizabeth Gilbert talks about it in her book, Big Magic, where she just basically says, "Yeah, you can come on this road trip that I'm going on right now, but you're going to have to sit in the back, you can't drive, you can't navigate. In fact, you can't even say a thing because I'm in control." I have the sense that people look at me and they think, "Well, you have your mission figured out. You feel like you're somebody who understands how to build a life with purpose and meaning and all of these things." But I promise you that I have weathered more than a few very confusing, very extended periods of my life. And I have some amazing vivid memories of being in a career that I hated, feeling like there was no way out, no possibility that I could ever figure out a different profession that suited me. And that sense of being stuck. And when you feel stuck and you feel like your life doesn't have purpose and you're not really engaged in the work that you're doing and you feel like the work that you're performing doesn't have meaning, the only way to feel better about yourself is to take whatever money you're earning and spend it on something that you think is going to make you feel better, whether that's leasing a car that's just a little bit outside of what you can afford or, I don't know, go into the clothing store and buying a piece of clothing that you might think might make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. Like, I have lived that life. I've done that. And I've reached my breaking point with it. And I know the confusion of not knowing what to do next. And in my case, I remember making this decision to just honor my body with some movement. And going out for a run, which is something I wasn't known for doing and coming back from running probably what was no more than a mile and feeling like good about myself and feeling better in my body and making a very conscious decision like I'm going to honor that. Like this is the one thing that actually makes me feel good. And even if it's inconvenient or I can't justify it, like I'm going to, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this for myself. And that slowly over time turned into doing more and more things in the fitness oriented kind of world and led me into the world of ultra endurance. But in the very beginning, it was just like, I just want to feel a little bit better. I don't want to be so fat and feel so tired and lazy all the time. This is one thing I can control and I'm going to commit myself to doing it. And there were plenty of days when I didn't want to, but I knew that if I did it, I would feel better. I was living this mood follows action idea that I'd learned in the rooms of recovery. And it started to pay off. I didn't have a goal. I didn't have a concept that this was going to change my life. I was just making the simple decision that I was going to honor myself in this way. And just like over time, one thing led to another and one thing led to another. But I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams that it would have laid this foundation to lead this entirely unimaginable life that I'm so privileged to lead today. So the point is it starts with these very basic things. Things you don't want to do, but once you do them, you feel better about yourself, better in your body, better emotionally, more connected to yourself, more capable of connecting with other people. And with a improved outlook on possibility, which instills you with a sense of hopefulness that perhaps was absent prior. And also a sense of curiosity about what might be possible. And I think once you start to trust your intuition and invest in that curiosity, that's when some magical things start to happen. And finally, for all the young people out there who are thinking, okay, boomer, not for nothing, I'm Gen X, I'm not a boomer. But that aside, I'm sympathetic and understand that some of what I'm saying might not land as intended because I come from a generation that knows what it's like to not have phones and perhaps has a degree of appreciation for that in a way that is difficult for young people who've never not had these things in their life. And to ask somebody, hey, put it down and go outside when everybody else that they know
is online constantly, is asking them to exile themselves voluntarily from their peer group. So, doesn't that sound more like alienation and disconnection than connection? And I get that. I'm not saying you need to break up with your phone entirely or that you need to develop a completely different relationship with the tools that are integral to how you live your life and how all your friends live your life. All I'm saying is that you need to build in and invest in analog experiences. You need to learn how to put it down long enough to go outside and join a run group or take a ceramics class or go to a stand up comedy club with your friends and do it with the phones in your pocket or the phones in those pouches or whatever you need to do to experience IRL, a little bit more IRL, a little bit more eye contact, a little bit more conversation and a little bit less texting. I think there is a lack of emotional resilience in younger people because they're so used to communicating via text that real life conversations become intimidating and things to avoid I've seen it myself and I don't think that that bodes well for developing the emotional capacity to deal with the challenges that life is going to present you with. And I think again, this is white space while all of your friends are so acclimated around managing all of their conflicts through text. Can you be the person who shows up in person to have an uncomfortable conversation with a friend in real life? text to face making eye contact and if you can develop that as a skill or set that as a goal and work towards it, that puts you in a position to really outpace your peers in every regard because while everyone is so distracted and so tethered to their device, it's never been easier to distinguish yourself in whatever it is that you're aspiring to do with your life. If you can carve out 10% less distraction and more focus. If you can do that, you're just way ahead of the game in a way that wasn't possible with my generation and the boomers that preceded me. Like the bar is so low, everyone's so distracted. If you could just carve out like the tiniest amount of distraction like half an hour, a week or a day, like you're doing something no one else in your friend group is doing. Imagine scaling that over time, forecast a year later, five years later, ten years later, as you develop this increased capacity for focused attention as opposed to mindless distraction, that puts you in a rare error, my friend in terms of trying to achieve whatever ambitions that goals you hold for yourself. Think about that as the discomfort that you're willing to engage with if nothing else. In closing, your attention is all that you have. So live your life accordingly. I think it's important to think about our capacity for attention and to think even more deeply about where we direct it because where you place your attention is everything. It determines the quality of how you're experiencing life in the present moment. It determines your future self and it also determines the relationship that you engage in with your past. Attention is everything. The more that you can cultivate it and direct it mindfully, the better your life is going to be. So I'll close with a few recommendations for those that are interested in cultivating a little bit of a healthier relationship with your attention. I would start with the books of Kyle Newport. He's got three great books that I would recommend, Deep Work, Digital Minimalism and Slow Productivity. If you read nothing else, read those books. If you don't like reading or you don't want to read, you can check out the podcasts that I've done with Kyle and I'll link them up below or in the show notes. But if you're really interested in self-mastery, maybe check out the last dance. That is a masterstroke on self-mastery and what it takes to win at all costs, the obsessive commitment to self-mastery. But meanwhile, maybe just practice placing your attention in healthier directions in very simple easy ways throughout your everyday life with these low lifts that lead to small habit changes. Another book I would recommend is James Clear's Atomic Habits, Master of that subject matter. And just buy yourself a little bit more time to respond to the situations of your life a little bit more mindfully so that you can respond by placing your attention where it should properly go rather than react compulsively or impulsively and do the thing that you've always done. The goal here is to do something else, to take that contrary action and then build upon it with the next right actions that are going to move your life in a better trajectory and it all begins with where you place your attention. Do that and you put yourself on the path towards change and transformation. And my hope is that you develop a lifelong relationship with that path and your constant evolution and unfoldment. And my other hope is that I meet you along that path one day. So hope this was helpful. If you enjoyed it, make sure you subscribe to this channel and I'm interested in how this landed for you. So leave your comments, your criticisms and your thoughts below and I'll see you next time. (upbeat music)
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