Friendship Breakups — No one teaches you how to grieve them

Unpacking the Quiet Grief of Losing Friendships in Your 20s and 30s Who? Who would have thought we were 6 inches deep? Why did I say that? Speaker 2 Because she's heavy in the Chardonnay. Speaker 1 Sorry my phone has been away a bit too often. Speaker 2 Mate, fuck me dead. Like can you give me a warning before you start out your show like that shit. Anyway, welcome back to episode 6 guys. I'd like you're like 6. You just had to say it. Eh, technically therapy where the conversations may not be clinical, but they're definitely there. Therapeutic. I feel like I can say that without even. Yeah, thinking about it now. So good. I mean, it's been a little minute since I've said it, but I don't know why I'm holding my glass like this while I'm going into my phone. Yes, we are in the process of getting some little flash cards so that I don't have to sit here like this on my phone every episode. Would you like to be the question asker for this one? Sure, you can go through and decide what you want to answer and what you want to ask. Understanding Why Losing a Friend Can Hurt More Than a Romantic Breakup So what's the topic, Nova? Speaker 1 So I wanted to talk about losing friendships in your life, but mainly in your 20s and 30s. Ouch. Because for me it was a very big. Speaker 2 Trauma. Yeah. So yeah, I feel like we've probably like, all right, let's just jump right in, eh? Hit me. Speaker 1 So why does sometimes losing a friend hurt just as much as losing a partner? Speaker 2 I mean, it depends on the level of friendship, but I feel like there's such an intimacy that goes way beyond sexual when it comes to friendship. Yeah. With your partner, like a lot of the stuffs, fights, whatever might be fixed through like physical connection. Whereas with friendship, I feel like it's it just is so much deeper. Like some of my mates are my soul mates. Yeah. It's like a fucking, it's like worth. Yeah. It's so much worse than a breakup. Yeah. Because you tell them everything. Oh, everything. Stuff that you're scared to tell your partner. Yeah. You vent to them about your partner. Like, there's so many. Yeah, absolutely. There's no filter. There's no, there's No Fear of judgement. Like, especially if you're not in the right relationship, there's No Fear of judgement. How does it? How does that question resonate with you? Speaker 1 Firstly, my ADHD is freaking out because your hair is hooked into your. Speaker 2 Earring. No, sorry. Thank you for sorting that out and. Speaker 1 That's still happening. Speaker 2 I can't see it. Speaker 1 Yep, done it. Speaker 2 Why did I tie my hair up? I think you looked great. My hair out. Speaker 1 No, it was just around the thing. Speaker 2 All right, fine. I'll take it. Speaker 1 I remember more so my friendship break UPS over any relationship break UPS. Have you had many? Yeah. Oh my God. I'm the kind of girl that has. I've never had a group of friends. You know, when you see girls like posts on social media and they're with the same group. I know about these groups because I I follow them and I'm just like, God, what would it be like? How do you keep up with all of that? Like it's all like a lot, but IA part of me is like, I wish I had that the group of friends that. Speaker 2 Yeah, like you're the big, the big juicy ones that people have. Speaker 1 Had for like a long time, yeah, but I've always just been like the one super duper best friend and then all of my other friends kind of thing. It that's changed now, but all of my life, majority of it has been that. So when that one friend would friendship would break down, I felt like I had no friends and like my whole, I felt like my whole world would, like, fall apart. Yeah, but I but what was the problem with that is that we just put way too much time and energy into each other. And it it, it was not healthy whatsoever. Whatsoever. Speaker 2 Yeah. Because you had no life outside of that, that particular friendship or something. Yeah. Speaker 1 And I noticed the patterns that I was bringing to the table not long ago. Speaker 2 So this is OK. So before we dive into this, you're speaking on an experience that you've had with a good friend that yeah, that you or two that you've lost like in the last what couple of. Speaker 1 Years, Yeah, in the last couple of years for sure. I've got, I've got friends that I've had ever since I've been in school. Like I've got one best friend from school and I've got another one. I've got another one that I've had for, like, since I was like 1920. And that's not going to even go anywhere because we've got like this sister kind of vibe going on. Does that mean with my Hammer girls, I say Hammer girls, but they're all like, there's like seven of us. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, Nothing. Always. That's never. Speaker 2 They're never going to breakdown. Speaker 1 Yeah, because yeah, it's just we just know each other and they've come and and watched you evolve and they've never brought judgement or anything. So there's, there is those ones, but the ones that I'm talking about are the ones that like you would see me with all the time and then all of a sudden you wouldn't. Yeah, that was, and that was like a prevalent thing on my, on my Instagram. They're like, where is your friend now? Because like I would always, every single day be with this one person. Yeah. And what it was and why my life is so different now is because I had to face all of this stuff. But I couldn't be alone. So when I didn't have a partner, I would have this best friend that was just so available. And then I had to break it down even more and be like, because I wanted to fix this. I didn't want to be living like this anymore. It was fucking weird. And I always felt like I had a missing limb. There's this constant feeling of missing limb. And then I had to delve into this and then I was like, Oh my God, it was because it's because I'm a twin and I literally. Speaker 2 Had actually didn't even think about. Speaker 1 Human with me before I even entered the world right by my side. Speaker 2 That makes so much. Speaker 1 Sense so I just thought that this was normal, like this is so normal, why would anyone question me about this kind of thing? But then I eventually had to face it and be like, well, it mustn't be because I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall here. And I would even start to get sick of them as well. Like, I would want to spend time on my own, but I then felt guilty if I want to spend time on my own and it would create this whole thing. And so, yeah, I had to break it down, look into it. And I was just like, fuck, it's come from me before I was even born. Literally growing in the stomach with somebody else with a bestie right next to me. Speaker 2 Yeah, you had your bestie. Speaker 1 From day one, yeah. So I had to the start of this year, end of last year, I got rid of everyone, everyone that was not in my life for a good reason, for a, a light reason, for a like unconditional reason, got rid of everyone. And it was the fucking hardest thing I've ever done because I had to sit with myself. I had no one to call, no one was inviting me anywhere. It was insane. But it literally evolved me into this other person that now I don't resonate with any of that kind of relationship at all. Like I have my best friends now and we don't even need to talk everyday. Yeah, for sure. And I would not even realize that we haven't spoken everyday. Speaker 2 Yeah. And I feel like the ones where you're like taking, like you're counting or like taking tabs, taking tabs on, like if you've spoken, that's like a that's like a toxic yeah sort of friendship. Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was it was a lot of weight on me as well. Like if I didn't speak to them than they would think because I was always available and always there. So when I wasn't, I was oh, what's wrong? Is there something going? Speaker 2 On yeah. Have I done something like all of that type of behaviour? Speaker 1 Yeah, so it was all just very warped and it all came from the twin thing, I think. Speaker 2 Yeah, it's funny that you've, like, had that full, like, epiphany moment and been like, oh, it actually stems from my childhood. Speaker 1 I just didn't want to live this life anymore that I was living. I was so unhappy, so many broken relationships, so many miscommunications, me being misunderstood, me being taken the wrong way, me, women seeing me as a threat when I was literally the most loyal friend that they could have ever asked for. All of this stuff was just happening constantly and I'm like, I'm fucking done. I've had enough of this. What is it? It has to be me. You can't look at everyone else and put the finger. You've got to look at yourself and be like, why? And I had to. And I just was like, I'm not. I'm not going to say, oh, it's because I'm a twin, that's why. Speaker 2 There was more to it. We obviously had like, it's like almost like an anxious attachment style, right? Massive. Speaker 1 Friends anxious attachment style. So I had to flick that shit off. And the minute I did, I was just like, oh, and a lot of toxicity went, drama went. Life started to just work out for me. Yeah. Speaker 2 Good people were coming. Speaker 1 In yeah, good people were coming into my life that were adding value to my life, not taking away. Speaker 2 Yeah. The Agony of a Friendship Breakup and the Elusive Search for Closure Yeah, all of it. Speaker 2 Fuck I haven't had, I honestly haven't had that many friendship breakdowns like. Speaker 1 You've got the big group. Speaker 2 Oh yeah, I've got my big group, which is like, we're very. Speaker 1 Different in this way. Actually this is. Speaker 2 Yeah, I've got this. No, like so I've got my, my ride or die. It's like my 7th, my 6th. So I'm the 7th, my 6:00 that I like they're girls that I've known forever. And then I have like my central QLD crew, which is like yippee forzy. So there's the three of us. We're always in like a group chat, just chat and shit. But then we hadn't, I had another really, really good friend that was in that same circle. So that was just like literally they were my best friends and then I had the other, but the I actually lost him last year, like in a friendship sense. So it was like that to me was probably one of my biggest heart breaks. In fact, we're best friends since we're 1025 years of friendship. And it wasn't just like a best friendship. It was like a brother. Yeah. Like we would do things with each other's family. Like I'd go to dinners with his parents. Like it was like a like a brother. And it was like, was it my birthday last year? Yeah, it was my birthday last year. It was like, I think two days after my birthday last year because he didn't make much of an effort on my birthday that year. And I was like, that's weird. He always post something or he always like calls me and tried to call him on the birthday and like we missed each other's calls and then I get a call 2 days later being like I need to take a break from you like I need space like I've got a lot of. Speaker 1 Oh, how much does that hurt? Speaker 2 Just like, dude, I cried myself to sleep for three fucking days, like 303 nights, three nights. I I cried myself to sleep over it. Just tell me what I did not like they don't tell you. And no, he was just like, he was like, it wasn't about me. And I was like. Speaker 1 Oh my God this is way too triggering for me. I mean, I was like, how? Speaker 2 Was this not about me when I'm the second? I'm the second-half of this scenario like I was fucking. Speaker 1 And you're meant to give us me and talk to me. I'm your best friend kind of thing. Yeah, I was. Tell me. I'll fix it for you. Speaker 2 Yeah, it was like, and I took it so hard. Like, I took it so hard and I, like, I lashed out obviously because I was so fucking hurt. And then I wanted to talk. Like, I was like, I want to get together and talk about this because I'm really not coping. Like, this was 25 years. Yeah. And I've never, like, I've had friends leave my life and I've never really battered an eyelid because I'm like, you're not really. You don't really mean that much anyway. Like, you, you served your season or whatever it was. Like, don't get me wrong, I wish everyone well on their journeys, but like, this friendship, this was my everything. Like, not in a weird way. Like this was my family. Speaker 1 And they never came back around. Speaker 2 Oh, no, I haven't spoken in a year. Yeah, yeah, No, the last conversation, oh, like there was some niceties, like, you know, there was like a Merry Christmas and then that was it pretty much last year. Speaker 1 But it that's even annoying I got some of them too. Speaker 2 Yeah, I just didn't even entertain it anymore. I just stopped having. Speaker 1 Can we can we talk about the elf in the room or you just kind of? Speaker 2 But even, like, to not have the, like, I understand people have a lot going on in their lives. And like, I'm quite an intense person, so I understand sometimes I might be a little bit intense. And it was, I think from his point of view, I leaned on him a little bit too much. Yeah. And I'm like this. Speaker 1 Sounds too familiar. Yeah. And then, you know, you know, like about the break up the, oh, it's the same thing. Speaker 2 Somewhat, yeah. Yeah. So like you just. Yeah, you just, I don't know, maybe people just get over us at some point, which is like, awful. Speaker 1 Because like, how could you? Oh, I mean, how could you at all? Perfection. Speaker 2 I was like fucking hell, like RIP my heart out of my chest. But he had started a relationship little bit prior to that as well. And like, whatever, like I'm never going to blame that because it's, I mean, I probably did say a few things about in the beginning, but I'm not going to go down that route because at the end of the day, he's, he's made the choice for himself. But yeah, I was just really heartbroken and I didn't have any closure because there was no, there was no communication or like conversation that I felt was adequate enough because I never got to speak to him face to face. It was all via text or phone call. There was like maybe 2, maybe 1 phone call actually. And I was like, Oh, I'm just going to have to wear this one and move all the way on and just completely. But he went off all socials. Like haven't not seen a single thing. Like he's gone off everything. See if someone goes and goes off everything and all that. I don't, I wouldn't actually take that personally. I would be like they're not handling the world as a whole. Oh no. But like he got engaged and everything, like all these big life events and I didn't get to share any of them with you. But to be fair, like I think I know the exact moment where the friendship shifted and it was when I was in France. I'm not going to speak into heaps of detail as to what went on, but I was in France and obviously this was this person was my sounding board. They were my brother, they were my best friend completely like platonic, like, no, there was nothing there ever 25 years like of just pure love for one another and just being through being there for one another through all this shit. And my life was a lot more chaotic than his because I was raised in a different way. Well, from where I'm standing in the need of like being, needing support, right? And something happened in France and I rang Fuzzy. I think I rang Fuzzy because I don't think he answered. I rang Fuzzy 1st and then not long after spoke to the other person. Let me tell you, both them were like, Forz was ready to pull the trigger on flights to get me home. That's how bad the situation was. Yeah, so not to speak into it, but that's how bad the situation was. So Forz is on the other end of the phone. He's like, tell me when to pull the trigger, babe, I'll pull the trigger. And I was like, eh, I don't know. Let me sleep on it. Fuck. I was like, you know, Anyway, there's a lot going on. But I think maybe that was the turning point for me in that friendship because something had happened that was so awful. And I still stayed in my relationship. And I think he got to a point where he was like, I'm sick of you bringing this to me and then not doing anything about it. Yeah, like, fair play, fair fucking play, dude. Feeling as well. But also, like, I'd come back and our friendship was fine. And it wasn't, It wasn't until a few months later that I'd got the call up being like, you rely on me too much. And I'm like, it just didn't sound like how he would speak to me. So the whole scenario just didn't sit well with me. And it actually it really broke me for a good few months. Speaker 1 It's a thing that you like that people need to realize as well as like when you love and care someone so much, you can see their potential and, and all of that sort of stuff. Like when they're in a relationship that's just constantly traumatizing control. And of course, like you're on the other end of the phone going, they just go because it's easy because they're not emotionally invested in the other person, but they are in you and they just want to see you happy At some point. They like some people just can't handle it. For me, I've got a friendship where I'm just like, I'm pretty much only ever called when there's damage, something goes down and I keep having to fight inside of me to answer again and be there again and support again. Because I, I want to be that friend to like see it through. And I know that they're going to come out out of it eventually. And it's not under my control or my timeline to have to try and force that. Yeah. But for a lot of people, it's just so hard that they just can't see it or face it anymore. And it and it upsets them so much that they're just like, you know what, you're in it. Speaker 2 100% and everyone's got their own life going on and I respect that. 100 like I I actually do as much as at the time I was like. Speaker 1 Devastated. Yeah, you would be. Oh, I was. Speaker 2 Fucking heartbroken, yeah. Like I don't think I've experienced a hurt like that in a like my lifetime. Yeah. Just because I was not allowed to have a conversation like face to face as well. I think that. Speaker 1 Really was like why the no closure things? Speaker 2 Fuck, am I that much of a bitch you can't even meet me in person. Speaker 1 But you know what's funny? Is it like when you're trying to imagine what the closure could look like, even when you have the conversation, you might not even get the closure because we won't want to accept that. Where the problem? Speaker 2 Oh, I was not in a good space to accept it, no. Speaker 1 So it's like you're damned if you do. Speaker 2 Damned if you don't. I'm the closer. Trauma relation. Trauma bond relationship. And I'm not, not about to be like you're the problem. No, I'm not. Yeah. What do you mean I'm perfect? I'm actually perfect. So yeah, like, fair play. How Friendship Breakups Force Us to Confront Our Own Patterns and Grow Fair play, brother. Do what you need to do. Fuck. Just dump me. But anyway, that's fine. Yeah, I'm over it now. It's been over. It's been a year and a a year and a bit. Speaker 1 God it sounds like the same time as my breakup Fuck. Speaker 2 Me dead trauma hit me with another please while I just Lube up the lips. You're reading it going, not answering that, not answering that. Speaker 1 Well, you just answered the last time. What role did you play in the? Speaker 2 Oh God. Well I answered it by saying I had no role to play. Go. Speaker 1 What did that friendship reveal about the version of you you're no longer trying to be? Speaker 2 Oh, fuck the poor me. Victim. Victim. Yeah, because I needed help. I needed help from him. Speaker 1 Did it stop? Did it put a PTSC is the only one I know what to use right now, but did it put something in you to just not want to share your problems in your relationship with anyone? Yep. Because she felt like it wasn't safe. Yep. Yeah. Speaker 2 So there's only few people now that I will speak to about anything that goes on in my life because I feel like when you are so heavily invested in someone and then like I have a like my one of my fucking best friends and I say I have a few, but like best mate I used to live with, we've both been in the same boat, like helping each other through our relationships and, and hearing the same stories and just waiting for the other person to process. It's just a, it's a part of it. If you're going to show up as my friend, show all the way up or don't bother. Like, I don't care if I have to learn a lesson 100 fucking times. If you can't sit there through it with me, then all good. Exit stage left. Yeah, like, yes, it's frustrating. Yeah, I want to shake people sometimes. I'm sure he wanted to slap the shit out of me. And I understand from an adult perspective. Like, fuck me, we've got to grow up at some point. And I get it. And when you're in a relationship and you're trying to focus your energy on that, you can't be having some needy fucking sister or best friend that's trying to take away from that as well. But like, I like through the seasons, when someone's been with you for 2 1/2 decades as a bug up a mic, I wasn't going to cry then either, guys. I was fine. But when someone's been with you for that long, like you would just think that they would ride it out with you. But maybe that's the lesson in it too. Like it was a season and accept it. I have to accept it. Speaker 1 Family won't even ride it out with. Speaker 2 You absolute fuck. I won't ride it out with my family. I will not ride. We're not riding at dawn for no one, bro. You have had your chances. Exactly. So it's so fair. Like when you put it like that. Yeah, just put me on my ass again. Thanks a lot. Sorry. For fuck's sake. So, yeah. But like, Yep. Thanks so much. And we're ending it now at 27 minutes. Speaker 1 Go no, I'm just thinking like. Speaker 2 It's so true, babe. You fucking you flawed me. Yeah, I haven't sat through the shit. Speaker 1 But but I've had my family completely stopped. I've had people stop talking to me in their blood. My twin and I don't have families. Speaker 2 Like iffy, like you don't get to choose them. Your friends are people you choose and you get to invest in them and you get to love on them in such a different. Speaker 1 Way I just think people need to flex more about having conversations, harder conversations because people don't want to have hard conversations. I'm all for it. Like put me in a seat and let me have a hard conversation any day. Speaker 2 And probably at that time, too, that everything happened, I was not in the right headspace to have that. Listen. No. Well, also because I just come back from a traumatic event where I'd been fucking traumatized. Yeah. And also then I'm told, oh, sweet, don't worry about me. I'm not going to be a part of it anymore. And I was like. Like, you know, I was, I was never going to be ready. Speaker 1 For that, I think that they love you that much that it was hurting. Does he hate me? No. Speaker 2 He hates me. Yeah, and I mean, look who knows. Who knows? Never say never. Recognizing Green Flags and Letting Go of Friendships That No Longer Serve You But anyway, next topic over that. Fuck. Fuck everyone. No kidding. She's very slow on these questions, guys. Sorry. Jesus Christ, I'm way faster. Speaker 1 What's going on? What's a green flag we don't appreciate until we're older in a friendship? A green flag that we don't appreciate until we're older in a friendship? I think it's what maybe what we spoke about. It's the fact that they show up through the whole every season. Yeah, I have a lot of like people that are super duper excited for me. Even people I, I don't even know, like on that have watched me go through the separation. They oh, wait, what did you do? Sorry, I just some red line just came up. They they bring up the fact that like they're more excited about where I'm at now because they know what I've gone through like even like best friends and everything. Like they're like they've seen all of the shit, they've seen me grow. And the awesome thing is it's like, Oh my God, cool, you're out of it now. Like thank fucking God instead of dealing with the ones that have just disappeared when it was shit kind of thing. Speaker 2 You know what's the worst thing? It's when you finally leave a toxic or just a just a relationship. Not of not all of them are toxic, right? Yeah, they just they bring out that toxic shit in you. Like the relationship itself may not necessarily be toxic, but it just brings out a part of you that you're not proud of. But when you when you have a relationship breakdown and your mates like, oh, thank fuck, you're like, I'm embarrassed. You let me sit in that for that lot. Speaker 1 People start coming out, take me bitch, telling you what they know. I'm like, why didn't you tell me this? Speaker 2 10 No, I don't entertain friendships like that. No fucking way. If you know something and you don't tell me, Yeah, bitch, yeah, you're out. Not a fucking chance. Like, absolutely not. Like all of my friends are ride or dies and if they know something, yeah. Speaker 1 Straight to the money. That's the boundary. Speaker 2 That is it. That is it. So yeah, no, fuck not. Speaker 1 What's the delulu reason you held onto a dead friendship for too long? I think it's a history, isn't it? Speaker 2 And that's not even delulu. That's just like standard, right? Like, if it's the history of sunken cost fallacy, you've entertained a friendship for so long, you've created a relationship with someone. You don't want to lose out of that investment. It's an investment of your time, right? You're never going to get that back. But sometimes you do have to cut and run. Yeah. Delulu. I'm wondering if it's me thinking that I've had a thought that they were like, secretly in love with me or something. I don't know. Speaker 1 Have you ever had a friendship or a girl like that? Is your friends like not a best friend that has had a crush on you? No, I've never had that. I have. Have you fucking weird? Speaker 2 I've never I've had. Speaker 1 Like jealous girls. I wasn't. I wasn't aware. Speaker 2 He didn't know she was a lesbian. Speaker 1 No idea. And then people started fighting over me being their friend and I was like why? Why? And then found out that they had a crush on me. Scandal. Speaker 2 Weird. No, none of my girl. I'm actually annoyed. Why have none of you girls thought I was sexual like rude? That's rude. Yeah, no, I've only ever had like the Nah, never, never that. But like, just, you know when you, you know when you've got a girlfriend and you just know that they're like intimidated or uncomfortable around you. Speaker 1 Yeah, or they're copying you. Speaker 2 Copying you jealous. Just like, like, you know, you can just tell like by the way they act around their boyfriend or whatever and you're like bitch, fucking relax. I wouldn't even touch them with a 10 foot pole. Yuck. Speaker 1 I was in a friendship that if we were standing in a group and there was the guys talking to us and they would look at me more in the conversation just because they were talking from a question that maybe I'd asked. She would literally crack the shits and leave. And maybe it was like the beginning of a workout. Where are you? I'm at the bench. I've left. Why? Speaker 2 No, yeah, in my relationship before Kev, we we did like he did photography work. And this is actually really funny. I don't know, maybe I just give off that like I'm a creep vibe. Maybe I'm too nice. Everyone thinks I'm a fucking flirt, but like whatever, no intention there. But anyway, I remember like we were having drinks after a photo shoot once with this couple and they pulled me up afterwards and had we had like the biggest Barney because I made too much eye contact during a conversation about the mining industry, which is an industry I worked in and that this person worked in IT. So we had a lot to talk about. But because we weren't including everyone else in the conversation who didn't work in the mining industry, I was being inappropriate while his wife was right next to us. I was like brother. Speaker 1 Do you know what I realized? Like the level of where you're at to bring in those kinds of people like you, You're, you're, you're far from that now. So am I like, and that's how I see it. It's like you're living in this, in this. There's like layers to life and all of the people are living on the, on the layers like level 1, level 2, Level 3, level 4. And it all goes up and up and up. And it really does. It's like it's. Speaker 2 Not a roller, I'm. Speaker 1 Visual about it and I'm just like those layers in my life. I've only been going up. Thank God I haven't been going down. But you realize, you know, when like you date someone and they're everywhere and then all of a sudden you never see them again. I'm like at all. They're not even around. Like you don't run into them at the same spots anymore. They're not at the level anymore and you've just gone up a bit. It's like that. It's like those kinds of people. You wouldn't even have around anymore. Like that stuff wouldn't even be a story in your life anymore. Navigating Energy Shifts and Maintaining Connections After Relationships End Well, this is a funny story and if it was, you'd flick it off really quickly and that's it. This is a funny story. So the the 12 year on and off relationship, the one that just rode my whole soul. Rode my whole soul. No, destroyed. Oh, destroyed, I think, he said. Speaker 2 Rode No one's writing anything in this episode. Lives like same suburb not far from me. Never seen him once. I haven't seen him since I left him in like 4 or five years ago. I mean, admittingly, I lived overseas for probably 2 years, almost two years. But like I go to the old ALDI. Yeah, that I know that he used to go to because I used to go there with him, but it's literally 2 seconds from my house, so it's convenient. Never once. Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the energy. Yeah, it totally is the energy. It's so wild to me. And then a funny story today. This happened today. I, I this is hilarious, but I'm talking about energy. The whole point is about energy right now energetic. So and, and then and then why did this happen? So yesterday I went to my best friend who is a hairdresser and she did my hair and she was telling me that the a woman that really doesn't like me who is the ex of my ex now goes to that hair salon and I'm just like this fucking weird. She goes to my gym now she got the hair salon, she's in Brisbane now she's here like this fucking weird whatever. And everyone was telling me about how the conversations were in in there and whatever and I was just like that's so strange. Anyway, I had to go to the hair salon again today to get my hair done and we were talking you. Speaker 2 Had a blowy eye. Speaker 1 Yeah, and we were chatting, my hairdresser and I, and she's fine. Is that mine? Speaker 2 Over, Jane. I know. So give me mine, China. Give me mine because it's shut down. Anyway, continue on your story. Oh, go. Speaker 1 We were, we were chatting and literally as I, well I'm not talking about the mum literally we're talking about someone else that my ex was hooking up with and the the baby Mama scared her off as well. Just did the same thing. Speaker 2 Hairdresser conversations are the hair salon a. Speaker 1 Wild The girl walked up in the hair salon and came in and sat down and we were literally just going all the poor girl because she got scared off by the the baby Mama again. Speaker 2 And these all grow the same hair salon. Speaker 1 I'm not going there anymore because they're going there. I just don't want to be in that world. But yeah, how wild is that? And I was just like, what the hell? How? How? Out of all the days, out of all the bookings in December? Speaker 2 Yeah, you have experience like that all the time. It's almost like you're like you're getting like retriggered to work through those things and maybe that's why I have to self reflective, whereas I haven't seen like yes, I've seen Kevin a lot. Speaker 1 Because I'm sitting on it. Speaker 2 Yeah, like, I see Kevin a lot because I cut his dad's hair still, which is so not weird because like, David's my guy. Why did I do that? I don't know. He's David's my guy. But like, I still go and cut his dad's hair because that family was my family. Speaker 1 Do you have a male hairdresser? What? Do you have a male hairdresser? No. What do you mean? China is going crazy right now. Speaker 2 Fuck China. I go to Kevin's house and cut his dad's hair. I'm not a Barber. It's just our thing. We'd Barb out. Speaker 1 I would not let you go near my hair. Speaker 2 No, I just shave it and then I do just. Speaker 1 Shave a whole. Speaker 2 No, I just shave his head, I shave his beard, I do his ears, I do all the cute shit. I love that man more than I love. Speaker 1 You but no. Speaker 2 Yeah, so I go there and I still cut his hair. Speaker 1 Oh. Speaker 2 So like, you know, I love that. Speaker 1 I think there was there a couple. Speaker 2 Of Sundays ago. Just like having a coffee with everyone. Speaker 1 I think the world should be more like that, like, well, let's all just appreciate we had, we spent some time together. Speaker 2 We had a life together for nearly. Speaker 1 Four years. We liked each other for some good reason. No one. But what people do is that they make them turn it like, Oh no, you're completely evil. Like, how could I ever? It's like, no, like you. There's so many parts about you that I love. Like let's all just be friends. Speaker 2 No, honestly, like we had a conversation about this like not long ago, probably maybe a couple weeks ago now. Like we needed, we both agreed, him and I, that we needed this relationship breakdown to then propel ourselves forward in life. And it was a beautiful journey and it was what it was, but we were never going to get to where we needed with one another. And that's so fine. And we've accepted and moved forward from that. Did it hurt? Absolutely. Is it not the nicest thing to ever like to go through when you think you're going to be with someone for the rest of your life? No. But like, and he's very open and honest about the the role that I played in his life and his family's life, which I hope it's reciprocated because I still love his family like so much. Like I fucking text his daughter yesterday about her graduation. Speaker 1 Like I think that's how it I think it's supposed to be like you should be like it. You can't make it that way when people want to have the hate and their resent. Speaker 2 No, no, no, no you can't force that. No like I still talk to his daughters. They, like, follow me on TikTok and shit, and we, like, engage in TikTok shit. But like, you know, you just, you just, yeah, I think it's nice to still have that. Yeah. Future Topics and Nova's Exciting Business Expansion into the American Market Why are we talking about relationships? And this was supposed to be about friends. Anyway, back to it. What's a quiet red flag in friendships that we've overlooked because it's not dramatic enough? Speaker 1 See, this all falls into relationships as well, no? Speaker 2 It doesn't feel like it does. Speaker 1 A quiet, dramatic red flag in friendships. Just that for me, it was the copying. One minute they had long hair, and then they went and got a short Bob. I didn't care. I was like, yeah, love short Bob, support, support. And then they would go and do something else and then something else. And I'm like, OK, this is a bit weird now. I was a quite Wet, Wet, Wet flag. Speaker 2 A wet flag that was a quite wet flag. Should we should we dive a little bit deeper and just go into like more about this? Like, how do you think you've how do you think you've grown outside of those friendships falling apart? Like I know you said, you know, you did a big spiel on the fact that you've just cut everyone out of your life now and you're just living so simply and like you're pretty much Amish if you're living off grid. You've got a horse and carriage. She doesn't use her phone ever. I do. No, she fucking don't because you never respond. What's happening? Actually, you see what's going on with you have gotten better fucking. Speaker 1 Going off, yeah, well, sorry you're. Speaker 2 Fucking own multiple businesses and you're branching out into like, different markets. By the way, Nova's just about to launch in America, guys, just so that you know that's actually happening. Wait, so what's we're actually December now? So by the time this comes out, it's going to be January. So you guys are going to be behind the 8 ball, but she's going to be on a billboard in new. Speaker 1 York I said six years ago that I want to be on a billboard in New York and there's a video of me saying it and now it's going to happen but. Speaker 2 Also I feel like super rude if I don't get it. All expenses paid for his business. Speaker 1 Trip to New York to see the Billboard? Yeah, I need to try and take my kids. Speaker 2 No, no, just me, just you, just we can record over there. Tik Toks. No, like let's record over there. Let's get some content like right for it. Anyway, I don't think there's much more we need to touch on friendships, but there are a few topics that people have brought to our attention via the feedback. So if anyone has any topics they want us to touch on for our perspective, please do let us know. Yeah, there's there's like two more topics I think that I need to put in the works when it comes to the the coming episodes. But for now, what we're going to do is just quickly go through some Dubai chocolate and review. So Nov's got some chocolates while she's in Dubai and they're pretty much just like been sitting in the cupboard A. Speaker 1 Yeah, waiting for this podcast. So I had the pleasure to go to Forever Rose and I'm obsessed with Dubai chocolate. I'm obsessed with anything that goes viral on Ticket or not the. Speaker 2 Food to try and get sponsored. Speaker 1 No, I'm not sponsored. I'm not going to. Speaker 2 Get sponsored. Are we trying to get? Speaker 1 Sponsored, but I'm obsessed with Dubai chocolate. I'm actually on the Canafi. Can you try and say it Canafa? Speaker 2 Cana. I thought it was Canafa. Speaker 1 Canafa Pistachio, that's one we're going to try. Speaker 2 Yeah, don't give me anything other than pistachio. Speaker 1 Canafa peanut butter caramel. Canafa Coconut. Canafa Pistachio. Pistachio. Speaker 2 Every day of the week. Speaker 1 But I literally want your honest. Speaker 2 No, but that's thick, dude. That's it. Speaker 1 Your honest opinion? Speaker 2 OK, can I do like an oh, just hit the mic ready? Can I do an ASMR? That's what I'm trying to do. Tap it with your nails. Tap it with your nails. Speaker 1 My ADHD. Speaker 2 I love it. My jaw just clicked. I'm so excited. Speaker 1 I heard that. Speaker 2 I did. I had need to go back to my chiro. I mean acupuncturist. Shout out to the fit acupuncturist and Burly. There I go. Speaker 1 OK. Speaker 2 It's really girthy. Speaker 1 Is everyone salivating right now? Speaker 2 My mouth's watering. Speaker 1 I would be if I was watching this, I'd be like fuck, get me some Dubai chocolate. Speaker 2 Get it in, yeah. Speaker 1 This is literally from Dubai. I flew it from Dubai when I went there. Speaker 2 Oh, come on. A bit anticlimactic. Can you hurry up? Speaker 1 Hurry, but like. Speaker 2 That was shit. Speaker 1 No, it wasn't. I heard it. I'll try. I get the big one. I'll take a. Speaker 2 Bite. I'm going to eat this whole thing. Speaker 1 But just tell me what this? Speaker 2 Whole fucking thing. OK Oh my God, that. Did you hear my jaw? Speaker 1 Go with me. Yeah, I did. Speaker 2 So gross 321. Speaker 1 It won't be training your legs. Speaker 2 Not on the white couch. Sorry, Dean. He's going to be like, new girls can never come in here again. My jaw, dude. It makes me want to like, kick off Nova. Are you going to eat the whole thing? Speaker 1 No, I'm just gonna have one more bite. This is probably why I put 5 kilos on this is This is why. Don't try. Speaker 2 To blame your healthy, happy relationship when you're just at home being the fat as fuck. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Speaker 1 I feel like I'm dropping it. Oh my God. Speaker 2 What? Speaker 1 I can't do ASMR. I can. My jaw's too bad I can't hear it tell me I don't stop eating. I just literally ate a lot of that. Speaker 2 I thought the chocolate's really dark though, so if anyone has TMJ temporal mandibular joint dysfunction please let me know because I'm so over it. I've had the same jaw issues for probably 10 years now. I had lockjaw for three months once and I had to cut everything up into little bite side pieces and go like this and like feed it through here. I'm seeing an acupuncturist about it and here's the goat. But fuck me it's so expensive I can't even open my mouth. Can you? Speaker 1 Oy baby, it's not OK. Speaker 2 Can you hear that? What are you doing? Speaker 1 Filming you eating it. Oh, OK. Speaker 2 It's not as hot as people that do ASMR because my jaw is fucked. Speaker 1 Listen, tell me the taste. Do you love it or not? I'm not obsessed with the taste. Speaker 2 I would fucking bathe in that pistachio puppy shit. Oh my God. I saw a container of it at the Oxley today. It was like $13, but I was going to buy it. Speaker 1 It's so good. Oh my God. When you go to Dubai and you go to the Forever Rose Cafe, it's out of this world. I don't know how we even developed it, but it's absolutely, absolutely. Speaker 2 I'm not supposed to be eating dairy either because of my period or dermatitis. Oh for fuck's sake. No, did ask. I'm not supposed to. Speaker 1 Dairy suck him sand fly while I was I saw that, but I wasn't. You want you want to be that friend. Speaker 2 No, I think you look beautiful regardless. I was like, oh. Speaker 1 What's on her eye? Sand fly by. No, all over my body. I've got them there. Speaker 2 Isn't fucking what's it Austin Powers? And he's like Molly. Speaker 1 Is that what it looks like? Does it look like a mole? No, baby, Can you see it now? Speaker 2 Like only when you turn your head to the side. Oh for fuck. Speaker 1 Drop chocolate my face. Sorry. Speaker 2 No, you're good anyway. Finding Gratitude and Exploring New Ventures in Tangaluma Continue. Speaker 1 Tell me something that you are so grateful for for this week. Speaker 2 You not even a second word to ask you. Speaker 1 Even though I booked the wrong podcast room, the wrong wine and made you eat the Sasha chocolate. Speaker 2 It did make me a bit sweaty because obviously Abby and I brought brought down all the cameras because someone decided to book upstairs, which by the way, actually, guys, if you're going to book through the Nest, this is Studio 1, upstairs is Studio 2, but it. Speaker 1 Looks no site to navigate. Speaker 2 And the time's in, and like American, isn't it? The dates are in American, they're in American. But the studio #2 stunning. We should go up there next time. Speaker 1 Great, because you just did all of that today anyway. We're not. We're not eating into. Speaker 2 And I was getting real sad about it. What are you grateful for? Not this Chardonnay, let me tell you that much. Speaker 1 I'm grateful for a little bit of quiet this week because I've been absolutely busy with my partner's starting a new business and. Speaker 2 Actually, how's that going? Speaker 1 It's good he's flying all of the helicopters in Tangluma. Speaker 2 I'm still waiting for my invite. Yeah, I want. Speaker 1 To feed some dolphin. There'll be a lot of invites. It's gonna, it's coming. We're just working out the systems and processes of the he's trying to get everything sorted. And I just, I'm glad that I can be there to help as much as I can. But it's it's I had literally a fit cover computer, a cruise computer because the cruise came in and then his computer for the helicopters. And it's the tours. Six minute, 8 minute, 12 minute, 30 minute flights of the most beautiful island that I never even knew existed. Speaker 2 Have you never been to Tangaluma? Speaker 1 I didn't. You could have told me Tangaluma was in freaking America and I'd believe you. I didn't know. Speaker 2 Tangaluma God I've been like 4 times. Speaker 1 17 minutes bar from. Speaker 2 Brizzy. Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I never knew that. Speaker 2 One of my besties got married over there. Speaker 1 Yeah, I can see why. It's absolutely stunning. I know. Speaker 2 You need to feed the dolphins. It's so fun. Speaker 1 Yeah, I no, I've got it all in video. Oh, you did? I didn't feed them. I'm gonna do that when I've got the kids. But we were there. We're just watching the feeding it. Speaker 2 Was so fun. Speaker 1 Yeah, and so wild dolphins there was. I've been going back there for like 35 years or something. Speaker 2 And you just snorkel the shipwreck. Speaker 1 Yeah, that's I'm not doing that, I mean. Speaker 2 To be fair. Speaker 1 Shark There was a shark attack in Tangalooma. Speaker 2 When? Speaker 1 I don't know, but that's all I know and that's what I'm sticking with. Speaker 2 I did that with the the X of 12 years. Speaker 1 Yeah. So that's where he is. Speaker 2 Nice. What B? Well done B. Speaker 1 Very proud everyone's excelling in their careers and relationships, so are you. Nova's Journey in Makeup, Fit Cover, and the Vision for G-Bangers In my career, what career? It's like just a fucking I don't have a career. I. Speaker 1 Can't do you do you are amazing at makeup. Speaker 2 I actually really am. If anyone needs a makeup artist, I'm usually pretty available. Speaker 1 And she would usually wear fit cover. Can we just say but she's just not wearing? Speaker 2 It Yeah, I was being a massive slut tonight and I had my air pressure. No because my dermatitis is so bad dude everything I put on it, it just burns. Speaker 1 Fit cover wouldn't burn, would it? Probably not it it's natural. Speaker 2 I have but I don't have. I've run out of my last bottle and I haven't got another one because someone hasn't me sent me any care packages. Speaker 1 Well, how am I meant to know you've run out? Speaker 2 Telepathically this person OK? Speaker 1 I saw my girlfriend today. She's fully pregnant and I'm she. I'm like, I love that skirt. She pulls her skirt down and show me the size. I'm like why are you fully pregnant? Yes. Speaker 2 Not just a little bit. Speaker 1 She's no fully pregnant. She's fully pregnant. How many weeks? She's due in February. Speaker 2 Fuck I can't wait to have a kid. Speaker 1 Do. And I was like, why are you not wearing G bangers right now? Speaker 2 Actually, to be fair, I pulled. Speaker 1 Her G string and it was cutting into. Speaker 2 No, I need to I need to get online and get some G bangers because I haven't like and my the the shit that I wear to my gym and I have to hoist it up to match the seam on my pants because I wear like you know those shorts from like stacks yeah, the brand yeah, shout out good Fridays. They had shorts on sale for like 30 bucks winning. Speaker 1 If you knew the margins in clothing. Speaker 2 Oh I know like you guys pay not Nova. She pays a lot for her G bangers. Speaker 1 I was thinking about my makeup. Speaker 2 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Speaker 1 Yeah. G bangers. Yeah. Speaker 2 It's just like the little side project I want to start. Like literally like the cost per item versus what you can sell it for is actually astronomical and everyone fucking knows that. I mean, if we all like, that's why people shop on Alibaba and like Timu and Shane because you get, it's like fast fashion. Speaker 1 But the reason why you don't constantly shop on there is because you don't trust no the site you're paying for. Also the trust in the sites in the. Speaker 2 Relationship you build yeah, for sure. Like the only thing I, the only stuff I ever get off those types of sites are like things that you can like like little trinkets and stuff like like an iPhone fault holder or like a bag stand or like, you know, just shit that like it's just. Speaker 1 A stand up in the mail you're going to be. Speaker 2 OK, Oh, you're like sweet or the quality doesn't actually matter because it's not something that's going on your fucking face for one, or on your private. So that's important. You've literally got two of the most important products. What it goes on your lady garden? Speaker 1 Garden. It shouldn't be garden babe. Speaker 2 No like I just. Speaker 1 There's nothing growing there. It should be a desert. Grew up? No, it should be a desert, not a garden. Do you think you. Speaker 2 Grew up. Depends on some people. Still like Bush dude. Not me, I. Speaker 1 Don't have that no one likes. Speaker 2 Bush No, really. Maybe men in their like 70s let's. Speaker 1 Stop. Speaker 2 Off topic, did you get a Brazilian Max recently? Clearly not Laser, no, but you know what I mean. Two of the most important parts, your lady parts and your face. Yeah, because your face is like. Speaker 1 My whole point about G Banger was that I was, so it was it's it's actually inclusive, whereas size inclusive, yes, Yeah. When I brought G banger out, my frustration was it was the whole like inclusive thing that was going on at that point with all the brands. And if you're not inclusive, like I remember Lorna Jane did advertisement for some model ad and she advertised for extra small and everyone gave a shit about it and all this sort of stuff. And then bras and things went inclusive and then they did all extra large. And I was like, guys, you're getting it wrong. Like this is so frustrating. Let me just go and start a brand and I'll show you guys. No, there's no, there's no size. There's no body image. Let's start to create clothing that will literally fit whatever size you are. Yes, we do have extra small to XX large, but let's put all body images on my advertising. I'm not going to go I'm inclusive and put all XXL or I'm inclusive put all XX extra small, you know what I mean? Like they were going from one side to the other. They weren't really getting. Speaker 2 So showing the smallest to the largest. Speaker 1 Yeah, but like when I would do shoots, you didn't have to fit a size. I wasn't like, I need three extra smalls, I need three extra larges. I need 3 larges. I didn't do any of that. I'm like, if anyone can come and model in underwear, you're welcome. This is the address. This is the time. Please come. I'll have G strings for you. That was it. Speaker 2 Still another G banger shoot. Speaker 1 We need to because you know what those shoots were so fun. I they look fun. I, I go crazy with shoots I don't want shoots are exhausting and boring. They can be after a while. So I would get make sure that there was food delivered at each time. So like breakfast, lunch and if it was late a snack. Then I would get a coffee machine cart to come to the venue and service coffee. Usually I would get them spot to sponsor us and then I would like post about it. And then I tried to get massage chairs, a business that had massage chairs. I didn't get it in the end. Some insurance. Speaker 2 Reasons I back then. Speaker 1 It was so much fun, like it was literally fun the whole way through and you didn't really feel like you're at a shoot, but you had to model underwear. So I'm asking a lot from these people. I'm asking them to really completely barrel and just put their asses. Speaker 2 Oh. Speaker 1 Not really on put your ass out there. Yeah. On anything that I choose to want to put your photo on, you know? Yeah, there's no like. Speaker 2 You can't say no to an image, you just no. Speaker 1 You've rocked up to the shoe. Speaker 2 5550 Sorry. Speaker 1 That's so weird, but you've rocked up to the shoots, so let's just have fun, relax, enjoy and that's always what I did with especially the G bang shoots, but I did that with all the shoots. Speaker 2 I feel like I saw a lot of campaigns from the like I've. Speaker 1 Back in the day of the G banger stuff, because I remember you had like Amanda and like a few other girls in there. It was so much fun. I really do. I have not done AG banger Shoot, you've not nurtured that like that side of the business for a while. It's main focus is min fit cover because I thought that I was able to do it all, which is raise two kids, go through court cases, have two businesses, maybe look for a partner and date, you know, all of that sort of stuff. I'm like, no, I'm possible I something's going to fail. Things that are living and breathing. But G Bang is just G Bang is a subscription brand. So when someone subscribes and they're just there, which is great. So that's what's kept it afloat. But I've just been putting all of my time and effort into into fee cover. It's the breadwinner. Speaker 2 Yeah, for sure. Speaker 1 And it's been 8 years of my grind and many hours of me missing out on my boys being very present with them. So I just need to like put it into that. Speaker 2 We'll just have G Bank on the side. Speaker 1 And then I just, you know, why I brought G Banker, There's plenty of reasons, like the inclusive side. I was just frustrated. But the other thing is like, everyone's got like a second income in the household with a partner. Like I'm not going to have a partner. So do I, yeah, just do what I know and create another income. And that's literally why, like another reason why I did it. I was just like, and then I had the when I started fit cover, I never thought I was like so passionate about the product and making sure that the actual product did what I had said it should do that I never considered weight. I never considered a measurement of a product. How long until that customer comes back and orders from us because we need them to come back and order from. Speaker 2 US recurring, yeah. Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't have them go away for a year kind of thing and use my product. So all of these things I was like, oh, now I can compare and bring something else at what's lightweight, cheap to ship, easy to manufacture. I don't have to have a feeling for sensor. I don't have to have formulas. I don't have to have approvals because the FDA. Speaker 2 Free shipping is so appealing to people too, when they're like looking at purchasing something or like, you know, having it like a standard price. Yeah, it's so way off top. I know. How do we just like divulge into? Speaker 1 I don't know, fuck. Speaker 2 I don't know either dude. Speaker 1 It was a chocolate. It was a chocolate. Speaker 2 And there's fucking that awful, God awful wine. Never again over Jane. Dude. I'm in control of the wine from now on and I'm going to buy it weeks in advance. I'll give. Speaker 1 You some money. Reflecting on Shared Trauma and Anticipating More Organized Episodes Ahead No, weeks in advance, I'm just going to order it and we'll just go. I was going to say we'll go tit for toe, but when? Speaker 1 Can we just get a sponsorship for wine? Speaker 2 Definitely not anything from Adelaide. Asking for like that was fucking disgusting. Fork and disgusted. And surely there's somewhere else we can get anything from. New Zealand's always good. We know this with wine. Speaker 1 Are you being biased? I don't know. Are you trying to plug your Kiwi love in there? The wine. Speaker 2 No, I don't know. Excuse me, the person I'm dating is definitely not Kiwi. He's mixed. Speaker 1 If he. Speaker 2 Ki maybe if he might be one of the. Speaker 1 If he has a tattoo that's tapped, he's Kiwi. He has a tattoo that's tapped, doesn't he? Speaker 2 No, he doesn't have a telly that's tapped. Speaker 1 Oh, he doesn't. Speaker 2 No, I think they're like the tapped, like old school traditional stuff is like by Samoan chiefs. Speaker 1 Yeah, like. Speaker 2 Big time. Speaker 1 Is he from the small idol island off of Australia called New Zealand? Speaker 2 Yes, he is. Speaker 1 Kiwi, yeah. Speaker 2 But like also mixed, not not just, not just straight, not just straight that. Speaker 1 Right, You know what ancestry test? We'll argue. Speaker 2 That Yeah, there's a few bits and pieces. We'll argue, we'll argue this on a few epis, a few other episodes coming. Yes. OK, yes. Love you. That was great. I'm not sure what we accomplished with that episode, but you know, we just shared some trauma about friendships breaking down. Speaker 1 When we didn't name names which I'm. Speaker 2 So proud of. I'm so proud of us for not naming names. Also, if anyone wants advice on how we dealt with those breakdowns, we pretty much didn't. Speaker 1 So. So we're not the people. We're not. Speaker 2 The people we come to. So like when you, when you guys sit there and give us feedback and you're like, oh, I love the potty. Brilliant. Thank you so much. Oh, and can you give us some feedback as to how you. No, we can't. We didn't handle that very well. We're just sharing. Yeah, we're just sharing. This is called technically therapy for a reason. So you get around your besties, you have a few fucking chardies unfortunately, and then you just like, share it. That's what you're doing. You just share it. Sorry. Anyway, live life and love. Speaker 1 Live life and love. Speaker 2 Peace, Shockers, Deuces. What does everyone do now? I. Speaker 1 Don't know. I've got kids and I still don't know. Speaker 2 6-7 No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. That's. Speaker 1 Just 6-7 that's disgusting that's fucking shit. Someone said on TikTok if I show them what fucking 9 to 5 is then they won't be laughing and I'm like Oh my God that's funny. 679 to 5:00. Speaker 2 Nine to five? Yeah. Work 9 to 5. Let's not do that. No, every night I don't do that. We work really random hours. But you know what, guys? It's been a blessing. You know, we're grateful we're still here. We're living and laughing through the pain. Speaker 1 Oh, and Merry Christmas everyone. Oh, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Yes, Merry Christmas. Speaker 2 Everybody, this is going to come out to January. Speaker 1 Yeah, happy new year, Happy new year, and we're going to have plenty of more organized episodes. Speaker 2 After yeah, we have so much coming. It's, it's actually really exciting. So see you next time.